I don't know anything firsthand, but my understanding of 'thinning of the vaginal walls' is that from your point of view, it's about delicacy and resistance to abrasion -- sex is more likely to result in soreness and little tears in the skin than it would have been previously. My other understanding is that topically applied estrogen cream is a very successful treatment for this sort of thing.
On libido generally? Dunno, but I know a number of post-menopausal women with active sex lives, so it's not everyone.
I have not been there, but have a few friends (in their 30s now) who have and a coworker (60ish) and I wouldn't say that premature aging, or not severe premature aging, has been an issue for any of them. I can lean over the cubicle walls and ask about my coworker's vaginal walls, if you'd like.
The libido changes seem to vary widely based on the individual, and I don't know of anything that predicts that change. Having lots of little children also does a number on libido/sex life, so that might sort of buy you some time while your hormones settle out. You seem to be generally pretty accepting of whatever goes on with your body, which I'd think would be a good mindset. I know that the time when you go from having a body full of normal hormones to suddenly not is a big and often ongoing shock to the system for the people I know, but again the way it expresses itself varies. Sorry I'm not actually helpful.
Based on my observations of N=1, the libido hangs in there just fine, K-Y or the fancier lubes take care of the rest.
I'm sure the videos detailing your own findings will be of interest to the great unfogged.
One of the noticeable findings is that 15 (50%) postmenopausal women reported a change in dietary habits; all expressed liking for sweeter food.
So maybe hold off on that black coffee thing.
I've heard that the ladyparts start detaching at night and taking wing to feed upon the blood of the innocent. Admittedly that is anecdotal.
One has to wonder what the early incarnation of the blog would have thought if they knew this post was in the future of the blog. "From cock jokes to menopause: the Unfogged story."
Getting old sucks. Just skip that part.
I was mentally phrasing it as "How interesting that this place is so unengaging for women of a certain age!"
I really like 6.
BTW, what ever happened to Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (7?) I used to love her comments, but I can't recall the last time she posted.
For the women in my family the major effect seems to be hotflashes. I have no idea if this is typical or not, but for the worst couple of years of it my mother was having one an hour. She was embarrassed about being drenched with sweat all the time in her office, but it was the sleep deprivation that really made her miserable. I'm hoping for some serious medical advances in the next fifteen years.
And there may well be various other misunderstandings in 9.
Thinning vaginal walls is irreversible. But topical estrogen cream can stop it progressing. [Mrs. Adams] uses it once a week. I'm afraid I avoid oral sex that day and the next, but Jammie's mileage may vary. Before she started using it, intercourse hurt. Now it doesn't.
I haven't noticed any effect on her libido. And otherwise post-menopausality hasn't been any big deal
11.2: Oops, yesterday ... and maybe today and I missed it.
Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (7?)
You mean "comenta"? I think he was from Boston, not a woman.
While my mother had a weird concurrent illness (achalasia), which may have been caused by menopause or the other way around, the main result of menopause for her seems to have been cussedness. She has become increasingly willing to do exactly as she pleases, to hell with anyone else's opinion. Which doesn't sound like the worst upshot.
I would think cussedness would correlate with life stage, and that I might not expect it to arrive early. Aside that I am already delightfully cussed.
Also I am not following any of the comments about UTPetme.
My mom had hot flashes for ten years until she gave up and used medication (I think the medication makes some cancer more likely or something). They were far more than a nuisance, you never get to sleep properly.
Whereas Mrs y just gradually stopped menstruating - no side effects at all.
The only thing my mother kvetches about is that for the first time in her life, she has to worry about little mustache hairs. She decided that, damn it, she can afford to go to a salon regularly to have them bleached and/or tweezed. (If you knew my cheapskate, anti-vanity mother, you would know that this represents some cussedness on her part.)
Is the lack of libido just the consequence of the dryness?
I think they're two distinct things. (What Biohazard says.)
Hrm, I appear to be on the road to the change, and the chief symptoms are occasional hot flashes -- at least I assume that's what they are -- and, erm, uh, the surprise growth of, uh, chin hairs. IF YOU GUYS TELL ANYONE about that I will, well, be mad. I guess. On the other hand, I gather that many people on this earth suffer from the growth of chin hairs, and it seems a fairly routine matter to address.
But that is all pre-menopausal; dunno what will happen when the change eventually occurs. Apparently this transition period can carry on for years. Heebie, your change will be sudden -- is there anything transitional you'll be able to do? Start taking hormones beforehand?
My mom was initially kind of embarrassed about them too, parsimon. Then she was all TO HELL WITH ALL THAT and talks quite openly about the various changes (among family at least).
I think he was from Boston, not a woman.
It can be such a fine line.
Apparently this transition period can carry on for years.
Again, N=1, and yes. The whole process seems to be very idiosyncratic from the casual reports from other women I've heard too. By the time it's boiled down to a Wikipedia, Mayo, or WebMD entry the info is so general as to be almost useless.
I'm asking myself whether I'm embarrassed, exactly. Not exactly: it's annoying, certainly, but primarily I think it's just the regular physical reminder that I'm getting older that's disturbing. Can't I just pretend that I will never grow old? Well, no, grown-ups can't really pretend like that. Bummer!
And, of course, there's the inescapable fact that post-menopausal women (one of whom I will be eventually) are not infrequently ... scorned? dismissed? insulted? ... in our society. That made me frown just on principle before; now I'm becoming aware of it on a personal level. There's a felt pressure to be ashamed, and a sense that I am not / will not be allowed to be a sexual creature any longer. That is of course hogwash, but it's a peculiar and fairly powerful sentiment in our society.
Two posts about ladybits....
yea, Ive got nothing useful to add.
I'm just hoping Neb will save us with some diaeresis so that I can stop pronouncing the beginning of that procedure as oof.
My coworker kept having hot flashes a long time after her surgery, like 20+ years, but I also remember her saying that she'd been told that wouldn't be the norm and that doctors nowadays would do things differently, but she was stuck without a time machine.
I'll also be another vote in the chin hair category, but I also think heebie could pull off some sort of Bearded Lady Chic just fine, if desired.
Oh, and regular skin stuff. My one friend said that the change in hormones right after her surgery made her break out like she was going through puberty, but she's also got skin that feels more papery and not oily, not bad but just different from how it was before menopause.
Unlike unfortunate Will, I do have something useful to add to your ladybits.
Laydeez.
apostropher's contribution does not go unnoticed. Why, it's a downright relief, even if he does have chin hairs.
Doesn't menopause cause women to loss muscle mass because of the decrease in estrogen? I found this study. The study refers to hormone treatment as a way to prevent muscle loss, but I thought they didn't use estrogen anymore. The Mayo Clinic makes it sound like it's still an option.
Unlike the libido (probably) but like the facial hair (probably), there's a way to fix the decline in muscle mass problem. And it involves becoming more awesome.
Certainly my doctor advised me to take up regular Vitamin D + Calcium supplements in preparation. That's for bone loss, of course. Loss of muscle mass wouldn't surprise me. Start exercising, ladies. Resistance training.
For inspiration, check out this post-menopausal badass.
I had a hysterectomy with oophorectomy at 42, three years ago. My sex life is about the same as before. The only real change I've noticed is all the damn hot flashes. I'm not allowed to take estrogen (I had uterine cancer); the alternative is a low dosage of an SSRI (Citalopram) that works medium-okay. I wake up only 2-3 times a night instead of 3-4, and go to back to sleep more easily. The meds seem to be giving me more vivid dreams, and having them to mull over seems to help me get back to sleep quickly. Also, my cat has developed the habit of jumping on my chest when I wake up so I can pat her, and that's pretty relaxing too. I no longer feel sleep-deprived, though I need to schedule a full eight hours every night, where before I used to skate by on maybe 6 hours.
If you're not allowed to have estrogen either because of the cancer risk, ignore all the advice you will get about herbal substitutes like black cohosh. The herbals that work do so because of their estrogen-like properties, meaning they also are nixed by the cancer risk. It's the SSRIs or nothing, so far as I know.
I have an online friend (a retired nurse) who is pretty active and knowledgable in the subject of surgically-precipitated menopause, if you'd like me to put you in touch with her.
How much mustache/chin hair are we talking, here? Enough that tweezing is not a viable option?
I'm just hoping Neb will save us with some diaeresis so that I can stop pronouncing the beginning of that procedure as oof.
That's how it's supposed to be pronounced. It's the most comically named of all the -ectomies.
spearmint tea controls female hair growth
18: Also I am not following any of the comments about UTPetme.
Because mine make no sense whatsoever. Ignore them. I should try reading with comprehension some time.
I think "Let's talk about menopause!" should be an ongoing series, maybe with a cutesy little graphic.
I think "Let's talk about menopause!" should be an ongoing series, maybe with a cutesy little graphic.
Pink post titles.
FWIW, one thing you'll miss out on (poor you!) will be YEARS of having your periods come irregularly, but more often, which means of course always when you don't want to deal with them. Oh, and being heavier, which as you can imagine is a fucking joy.
So far that's all I've got but I will say I'm looking forward to their just going away and DAMN THE CONSEQUENCES.
I think "Let's talk about menopause!" should be an ongoing series
Come now, I'm not sure there's that much to say about it in an ongoing way. Though I do hear that men of a certain age experience an upsurge in the growth of nose hairs.
40: How much mustache/chin hair are we talking, here?
In order to tweeze, you'd have to let the hairs grow to a certain length in the first place, I think, and one tends to avoid that.
I'm sure the amount of female facial hair differs from woman to woman: I'm very white (Scandinavian and/or Eastern European descent, hard to say), so we're talking a pretty sparse growth. I dunno; I haven't let them grow out enough to count. Things might be different for a woman of different descent.
41- really? But it's oh oh cyte and oh oh genesis.
From the OP:
Will I look prematurely aged?
? Not that I can think, no. Maybe your skin profile will change, per Thorn's 31, but maybe not. Might have to up the use of daily moisturizer. Otherwise I don't see why you'll look prematurely aged.
My mother received a (probably unnecessary, but that was the way of women's health care back then) hysterectomy in her late 20s. I don't think she looked prematurely aged.
oh oh cyte and oh oh genesis
Now I have the Oreo song stuck in my head.
It's the chorus of a work song for biology students at Liberty University "Oh oh cite! oh oh Genesis"
My mother had a hysterectomy and also one ovary removed
in her early forties. She started some time after to have a drawn out staccato menopause with terrible hot flushes. Because it might last for years and because she already had some signs of bone density loss and a family history of osteoporosis, she went on HRT. About 10 years later she came off it again and had about a year of menopausal symptoms - again the hot flushes esp. interrupting sleep were the main problem. Otherwise she says she had more pressing things to be concerned about at that stage of her life.
Another decade later the doctor put her on one of those strontium things for bone loss.
FWIW, one thing you'll miss out on (poor you!) will be YEARS of having your periods come irregularly, but more often, which means of course always when you don't want to deal with them. Oh, and being heavier, which as you can imagine is a fucking joy.
Endometrial ablation. My wife had it done and loves it.
On the chin hairs - my friend who's MTF transexual had electrolysis and swears by it. All the hairs are gone and it's permanent. Might be worth a try if it's an issue.
I forgot to mention, Hystersisters is a pretty useful site, with info about what to expect and forums where you can discuss surgical menopause with others who are going through it.
parsimon: Though I do hear that men of a certain age experience an upsurge in the growth of nose hairs.
So far as I can tell, all the many follicles on top of my head that appear to have stopped working, actually just flipped upside down, sending the hairs that used to sit on my pate down through my sinus cavities and out my nostrils.
upsurge in the growth of nose hairs
Also in the ears.
54: I started to sing to myself, "The bitch is back in town! The bitch is back in town!" and then I remembered the song actually goes, "The boys are back in town!" My version is better.
I think "Let's talk about menopause!" should be an ongoing series, maybe with a cutesy little graphic.
I thought that it should be a song. Are Salt-n-Pepa old enough yet?
Late Chrysanthemums, Naruse 1954, last night, had a lot of discussion about middle-aged women affording "hormone shots"
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(Anybody want 1000 words on Naruse LC?
|>
OT: Porn viewing research study failure: can't find a man who hasn't looked at porn
They then changed it and reached the stunning conclusion that on average single men consume more porn than non-single men.
Dan Savage loves to quote the result in 63.
That really seems like a silly number to quote to me. While it might be a low percentage, I'd bet it would be possible to find men who had never sought out pornography for the purpose of sexual gratification as an adult, which would be all you'd need to study non-porn users. Literally never exposed to porn is going to catch a lot of porn-exposure that was social goofing around: someone who clicks on the links here would count as 'exposed to porn', but I don't think anyone's waiting for Apo to post a link so they'll have something to masturbate to.
They then changed it and reached the stunning conclusion that on average single men consume more porn than non-single men.
As an old boss of mine used to say, "And they give them money! Every month!"
65: Yes. I only look at it for medicinal purposes, to raise testosterone levels and thus prevent the loss of muscle due to aging.
For similar reasons, Halford restricts his porn watching to depictions of Raquel Welch and Daryl Hannah dressed as cavewomen.
something to masturbate to
This was the original title of this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cih2HRCXLA&feature=related
72: Good lord. I remember trying to find coloring-book pages for The Little Mermaid online for Sally back in '04 or so, and having a much easier time finding Little Mermaid porn.
Hi, Apo & Peep.
I'm not really back. Just couldn't resist the opportunity to complain about lady stuff.