Re: Failure Is Something I Accomplish

1

That whole site is a good reminder of why I am always nervous when I talk to strangers. The odds of getting somebody who reads that kind of stuff aren't small enough.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 8:46 AM
horizontal rule
2

1. Time doesn't fill me. I fill time.

What?! This rhetorical formulation, for which I'm sure someone here knows the Greek name but I don't so I'm going to call it thaxaplexis, implies that the first item is the usual statement of things. Except who the fuck has ever said "time is sure filling me today!"

Yeah, that's as far as I got.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 8:51 AM
horizontal rule
3

Sounds like a recipe for an abrasive, ball-buster boss.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 8:51 AM
horizontal rule
4

Boy did that start stupid. "If you do tasks as quickly as possible instead of stretching it out, they'll be done sooner and you can do other things!" YA THINK?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 9:01 AM
horizontal rule
5

I try to make my tasks take a minimum of space. Space doesn't fill me. I fill space.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 9:21 AM
horizontal rule
6

I can't really express how much I hate stuff like this. It's the Business School version of astrology.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 9:30 AM
horizontal rule
7

6: The astrology part isn't the worst of it. That site was filled with practical tips for making cold calls.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 9:37 AM
horizontal rule
8

As long as I'm paid well, it's all good.

The top nine habits of total assholes.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 9:43 AM
horizontal rule
9

"Time does not fill me. I am an asshole."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 9:44 AM
horizontal rule
10

"Experience is irrelevant. I am an asshole."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 9:45 AM
horizontal rule
11

"Failure is something I accomplish; I am an asshole."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 9:46 AM
horizontal rule
12

Average people allow time to impose its will on them; remarkable people impose their will on their time.

Lists like these help me understand that I am average.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 9:53 AM
horizontal rule
13

Time will not kill me; I will kill time.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:03 AM
horizontal rule
14

Time may change me,
But I can't trace time.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:06 AM
horizontal rule
15

Does that Penelope Trunk woman write there?


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:07 AM
horizontal rule
16

Be the change you want to see in the hat.


Posted by: Opinionated Busker | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:08 AM
horizontal rule
17

Hardworking people want to work with hardworking people.

I guess, but lazy people also want to work with hardworking people, IME.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:09 AM
horizontal rule
18

Remarkably successful people never feel entitled--except to the fruits of their labor.

This is about the most stupid thing I've ever read.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:11 AM
horizontal rule
19

18: one of the best ways to become remarkably successful is to feel entitled to the fruits of everybody else's labor.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:18 AM
horizontal rule
20

I think the author's bio is revealing. Quoted, in its entirety:

Jeff Haden learned much of what he knows about business and technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. Everything else he picks up from ghostwriting books for some of the smartest leaders he knows in business.

Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:19 AM
horizontal rule
21

heebie, why are you reding this, anyway?


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:20 AM
horizontal rule
22
Anything a customer will pay you a reasonable price to do--as long as it isn't unethical, immoral, or illegal--is something you should do.

I am absolutely positive I read just the opposite of this in a different how-to-run-your-business article earlier this week. Or maybe it was an article about how to manage your time. That time that you fill. By doing stupid shit that is not what you want to be doing.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:25 AM
horizontal rule
23

Oh, I hoped no one would ask that. Just a stupid click-through. But then I thought it was so dazzlingly stupid that it might just merit a post.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:25 AM
horizontal rule
24

I am absolutely positive I read just the opposite of this in a different how-to-run-your-business article earlier this week.

I'm sure you did. The conventional wisdom is that you should know what you're good at and concentrate on doing that. How does your reputation gain from wasting your own and your clients' time doing stuff other people would do better?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:34 AM
horizontal rule
25

Anyone reminded of "The Secret"?


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:40 AM
horizontal rule
26

People who pay me always have the right to tell me what to do.

That's the one they want you to remember.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:47 AM
horizontal rule
27

Slightly apropos, seen on the tweets last week: "My boss told me to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Now sat in this disciplinary hearing in my Batman costume."


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 10:49 AM
horizontal rule
28

heebie, why are you reding this, anyway?

Filling time, I assumed.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:26 AM
horizontal rule
29

Actually doesn't the foreman say when it's filling time.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:28 AM
horizontal rule
30

Your thinking of the taxman.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:29 AM
horizontal rule
31

Christ, "you're".


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:30 AM
horizontal rule
32

This rhetorical formulation, for which I'm sure someone here knows the Greek name

Chuck Norris facts.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:35 AM
horizontal rule
33

When I need advice, I look to the nineteenth-century philosophers of the free spirit the business-book ghostwriter class.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:35 AM
horizontal rule
34

Chuck Norris facts.

Chuck Norris doesn't start customer-oriented community-based branded-content businesses. He finishes them.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:36 AM
horizontal rule
35

Chuck Norris hyphenates yo-u.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:42 AM
horizontal rule
36

Chuck Norris believes that the people who pay him should be Chuck Norris.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:47 AM
horizontal rule
37

Chuck Norris hyphenates any-body he wants to.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:48 AM
horizontal rule
38

Actually, I think the ideas behind points 4 and 5 are good advice, especially on resume- and cover-letter-writing and for job interviews. To summarize, here's the important bits of 4:

I don't care how long you've been doing what you do. ... I care about what you've done: how many sites you've created, how many back-end systems you've installed, how many customer-specific applications you've developed (and what kind)... all that matters is what you've done.

And here's 5:
Occasionally something completely outside your control will cause you to fail. Most of the time, though, it's you. And that's okay. Every successful person has failed. Numerous times. Most of them have failed a lot more often than you. That's why they're successful now. Embrace every failure: Own it, learn from it, and take full responsibility for making sure that next time, things will turn out differently.

4 is a corollary of the banal advice writers get all the time: "show, don't tell." It makes things more memorable and is generally more direct. And as for 5, in my opinion, taking responsibility for some kinds of things is an underused skill in general, and it might be particularly good advice in the context of job interviews. The stock interview question "tell me about a mistake you made and how you handled it" is the subject of a ton of jokes, and I remember a thread or two about it right here, but it still gets asked because employers and co-workers need to know the answer. I imagine a thoughtful effort to accept responsibility would be a welcome, memorable change of pace. The same principle could be used regarding your personal life too, maybe, but that gets much more judgmental.

I mean, don't get me wrong, the article sucked. The overall tone was dickish, some of the advice looks just plain wrong, and to the extent that the article contains insights about the life and habits of anyone, they're horrible people. I'm just saying that there was a germ of a good idea or two in there; don't do the opposite of those bits just because they appear in the same article as stupid ice cream koans.

As for the Web site itself, I was amused to see an ad for some kind of financial services company called Morningstar. My first thought was this guy. Maybe I'm just too allusively-minded, and indeed the disambiguation page is so long that the term probably is innocuous to most people, but still, I thought that was unintentional honesty on the company's fault.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:57 AM
horizontal rule
39

-fault +part


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 11:57 AM
horizontal rule
40

What does "Own it" mean? People on the Internet are always telling one another to "own it," whatever "it" is. Do they mean "own up to it"? "Take responsibility for it"? "Acknowledge your malfeasance in causing it"? "Don't argue with me about my accusations of privilege and/or racism in respect of it"?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:01 PM
horizontal rule
41

It seems to be a list of bad maxims coupled with useless advice. If you're attracting bad people, change it. Okay.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:07 PM
horizontal rule
42

Time doesn't fill me; Fruit prefers not to fill a banana.

What, it's my designated role here.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:08 PM
horizontal rule
43

40: That, and also use body language and tone of voice that is consistent with believing whatever you're supposed to own.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:09 PM
horizontal rule
44

Just a stupid click-through. But then I thought it was so dazzlingly stupid that it might just merit a post.

I honestly don't think this is more stupid than 80% of business-oriented self-help articles.



Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:13 PM
horizontal rule
45

s for the Web site itself, I was amused to see an ad for some kind of financial services company called Morningstar.

This company always amuses me as the most leftwing newspaper in Britain is the Morning Star.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:24 PM
horizontal rule
46

Some are better than others,

http://www.despair.com/viewall.html


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:34 PM
horizontal rule
47

Morningstar is a rating agency. Based on performance, they award stars to mutual funds. These are helpful because they can light up the abyss my mutual funds always fall into.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:46 PM
horizontal rule
48

I honestly don't think this is more stupid than 80% of business-oriented self-help articles.

Probably not, but I doubt heebie reads very many of them.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:47 PM
horizontal rule
49

I honestly don't think this is more stupid than 80% of business-oriented self-help articles.

"Time doesn't fill me. I fill time," is definitely a higher level of stupid. If there are gems like that all over the business literature, maybe I should read it more often.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:49 PM
horizontal rule
50

16 cracked me up.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 12:54 PM
horizontal rule
51

I get almost daily e-mail alerts from Morningstar and use the site regularly to pull company financial statements. (It's the same stuff companies file with the SEC but we pay for the better interface and search tools.) I will now think of both Cyrus and Lucifer in this connection.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 1:01 PM
horizontal rule
52

51: And the free version is called "EDGAR". Surely there is some diabolical connection to the works of Poe.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 1:09 PM
horizontal rule
53

"My boss told me to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Now sat in this disciplinary hearing in my Batman costume."

Now I just need to figure out what job would pay me a ton of money to wear tailored silk pyjamas everyday.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 2:40 PM
horizontal rule
54

53: Chatelaine?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 3:09 PM
horizontal rule
55

Is sloven a paying position? It appears to be what my career goals are.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 3:15 PM
horizontal rule
56

It has few barriers to entry at least.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 4:10 PM
horizontal rule
57

Now I just need to figure out what job would pay me a ton of money to wear tailored silk pyjamas everyday

Don't look at me, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.


Posted by: Hugh Hefner | Link to this comment | 06-26-12 4:16 PM
horizontal rule
58


I just got spam from LinkedIn pimping that god-awful piece of clickbait.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-27-12 4:25 AM
horizontal rule
59

NMM to Nora Ephron.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-27-12 4:28 AM
horizontal rule