That whole site is a good reminder of why I am always nervous when I talk to strangers. The odds of getting somebody who reads that kind of stuff aren't small enough.
1. Time doesn't fill me. I fill time.
What?! This rhetorical formulation, for which I'm sure someone here knows the Greek name but I don't so I'm going to call it thaxaplexis, implies that the first item is the usual statement of things. Except who the fuck has ever said "time is sure filling me today!"
Yeah, that's as far as I got.
Sounds like a recipe for an abrasive, ball-buster boss.
Boy did that start stupid. "If you do tasks as quickly as possible instead of stretching it out, they'll be done sooner and you can do other things!" YA THINK?
I try to make my tasks take a minimum of space. Space doesn't fill me. I fill space.
I can't really express how much I hate stuff like this. It's the Business School version of astrology.
6: The astrology part isn't the worst of it. That site was filled with practical tips for making cold calls.
As long as I'm paid well, it's all good.
The top nine habits of total assholes.
"Time does not fill me. I am an asshole."
"Experience is irrelevant. I am an asshole."
"Failure is something I accomplish; I am an asshole."
Average people allow time to impose its will on them; remarkable people impose their will on their time.
Lists like these help me understand that I am average.
Time will not kill me; I will kill time.
Time may change me,
But I can't trace time.
Does that Penelope Trunk woman write there?
Be the change you want to see in the hat.
Hardworking people want to work with hardworking people.
I guess, but lazy people also want to work with hardworking people, IME.
Remarkably successful people never feel entitled--except to the fruits of their labor.
This is about the most stupid thing I've ever read.
18: one of the best ways to become remarkably successful is to feel entitled to the fruits of everybody else's labor.
I think the author's bio is revealing. Quoted, in its entirety:
Jeff Haden learned much of what he knows about business and technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. Everything else he picks up from ghostwriting books for some of the smartest leaders he knows in business.
heebie, why are you reding this, anyway?
Anything a customer will pay you a reasonable price to do--as long as it isn't unethical, immoral, or illegal--is something you should do.
I am absolutely positive I read just the opposite of this in a different how-to-run-your-business article earlier this week. Or maybe it was an article about how to manage your time. That time that you fill. By doing stupid shit that is not what you want to be doing.
Oh, I hoped no one would ask that. Just a stupid click-through. But then I thought it was so dazzlingly stupid that it might just merit a post.
I am absolutely positive I read just the opposite of this in a different how-to-run-your-business article earlier this week.
I'm sure you did. The conventional wisdom is that you should know what you're good at and concentrate on doing that. How does your reputation gain from wasting your own and your clients' time doing stuff other people would do better?
People who pay me always have the right to tell me what to do.
That's the one they want you to remember.
Slightly apropos, seen on the tweets last week: "My boss told me to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Now sat in this disciplinary hearing in my Batman costume."
heebie, why are you reding this, anyway?
Filling time, I assumed.
Actually doesn't the foreman say when it's filling time.
This rhetorical formulation, for which I'm sure someone here knows the Greek name
Chuck Norris facts.
When I need advice, I look to the nineteenth-century philosophers of the free spirit the business-book ghostwriter class.
Chuck Norris facts.
Chuck Norris doesn't start customer-oriented community-based branded-content businesses. He finishes them.
Chuck Norris believes that the people who pay him should be Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris hyphenates any-body he wants to.
Actually, I think the ideas behind points 4 and 5 are good advice, especially on resume- and cover-letter-writing and for job interviews. To summarize, here's the important bits of 4:
I don't care how long you've been doing what you do. ... I care about what you've done: how many sites you've created, how many back-end systems you've installed, how many customer-specific applications you've developed (and what kind)... all that matters is what you've done.
Occasionally something completely outside your control will cause you to fail. Most of the time, though, it's you. And that's okay. Every successful person has failed. Numerous times. Most of them have failed a lot more often than you. That's why they're successful now. Embrace every failure: Own it, learn from it, and take full responsibility for making sure that next time, things will turn out differently.
I mean, don't get me wrong, the article sucked. The overall tone was dickish, some of the advice looks just plain wrong, and to the extent that the article contains insights about the life and habits of anyone, they're horrible people. I'm just saying that there was a germ of a good idea or two in there; don't do the opposite of those bits just because they appear in the same article as stupid ice cream koans.
As for the Web site itself, I was amused to see an ad for some kind of financial services company called Morningstar. My first thought was this guy. Maybe I'm just too allusively-minded, and indeed the disambiguation page is so long that the term probably is innocuous to most people, but still, I thought that was unintentional honesty on the company's fault.
What does "Own it" mean? People on the Internet are always telling one another to "own it," whatever "it" is. Do they mean "own up to it"? "Take responsibility for it"? "Acknowledge your malfeasance in causing it"? "Don't argue with me about my accusations of privilege and/or racism in respect of it"?
It seems to be a list of bad maxims coupled with useless advice. If you're attracting bad people, change it. Okay.
Time doesn't fill me; Fruit prefers not to fill a banana.
What, it's my designated role here.
40: That, and also use body language and tone of voice that is consistent with believing whatever you're supposed to own.
Just a stupid click-through. But then I thought it was so dazzlingly stupid that it might just merit a post.
I honestly don't think this is more stupid than 80% of business-oriented self-help articles.
s for the Web site itself, I was amused to see an ad for some kind of financial services company called Morningstar.
This company always amuses me as the most leftwing newspaper in Britain is the Morning Star.
Some are better than others,
http://www.despair.com/viewall.html
Morningstar is a rating agency. Based on performance, they award stars to mutual funds. These are helpful because they can light up the abyss my mutual funds always fall into.
I honestly don't think this is more stupid than 80% of business-oriented self-help articles.
Probably not, but I doubt heebie reads very many of them.
I honestly don't think this is more stupid than 80% of business-oriented self-help articles.
"Time doesn't fill me. I fill time," is definitely a higher level of stupid. If there are gems like that all over the business literature, maybe I should read it more often.
I get almost daily e-mail alerts from Morningstar and use the site regularly to pull company financial statements. (It's the same stuff companies file with the SEC but we pay for the better interface and search tools.) I will now think of both Cyrus and Lucifer in this connection.
51: And the free version is called "EDGAR". Surely there is some diabolical connection to the works of Poe.
"My boss told me to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Now sat in this disciplinary hearing in my Batman costume."
Now I just need to figure out what job would pay me a ton of money to wear tailored silk pyjamas everyday.
Is sloven a paying position? It appears to be what my career goals are.
It has few barriers to entry at least.
Now I just need to figure out what job would pay me a ton of money to wear tailored silk pyjamas everyday
Don't look at me, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.
I just got spam from LinkedIn pimping that god-awful piece of clickbait.