Re: Like a Rhinestone Cowboy

1

Not for me, but I've always wanted to see a candidate try to pull off "Peter Pumpkinhead".


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:10 AM
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Don't we need to define what sort of speech we're giving to what sort of crowd? (I'm guessing this question was prompted by the conventions, and that can provide one set of answers, but different occasions obviously call for different music.)


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:11 AM
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Clearly a grand occasion.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:12 AM
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4

Baby Got Back.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:12 AM
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5

Muskrat Love.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:12 AM
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6

The theme song from The Munsters.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:14 AM
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7

(And of course the question could be generalized further if we dropped the "give a speech" requirement, and just asked: "If you were in a situation that called for 'entrance music', what would you want your entrance music to be?")


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:14 AM
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8

Can't Touch This.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:14 AM
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9

Come Baby Come?


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:15 AM
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10

Mmm-Bop.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:16 AM
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11

I'm trying to remember what the tracks where when I was in situations where I actually did have entrance music. Some breakbeat track I can't remember in the first instance, and... I'm totally drawing a blank in the second instance.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:16 AM
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12

My first thought was an earnest one, unsurprisingly: There Is Power in a Union.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:16 AM
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13

The first girl I ever had sex with had been on a softball team on which, every time she came to the plate, they played Biggie's Hypnotize.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:16 AM
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14

situations where I actually did have entrance music

Please elaborate.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:17 AM
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Aha! This breakbeat track.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:18 AM
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12: Being serious, it'd depend on the circumstances and what I thought I was reasonably entitled to. The Billy Bragg version of "Which Side Are You On?" would be great, but I'd need the prior political accomplishments to back it up.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:19 AM
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My song to get fired up for prelims was the Petey Pablo song "Take you shirt off! Spin it 'round your head like it's a helicopter!" I'm still very fond of that song.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:19 AM
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18

If you were to walk out on a giant stage to give a speech, what would be your theme song?

The Horst-Wessel-lied, natch.

Seriously, "The Dance of the Cuckoos" (Laurel and Hardy theme tune). People who use portentous music to back their speeches need to be ridiculed mercilessly.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:19 AM
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19

14: described very briefly here, although they don't talk about the entrance music or DJ.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:20 AM
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20

If we're being serious, I'd want Neil Diamond's "America."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:20 AM
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21

1: If you're talking XTC, surely it should be Mayor of Simpleton.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:20 AM
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22

Here Comes The Bride.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:20 AM
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23

Oh and there was actually some sutff before the breakbeat track. Here!

The other thing I think is our outro music.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:21 AM
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24

20: You really looked like an idiot in that tank, Mike.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:21 AM
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25

Don't Stop Believin' is suitable for (almost) all occasions.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:21 AM
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26

Maybe I'd use Born in the USA to see if George Will ever figured out that it's not a celebratory anthem.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:22 AM
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27

Don't Stop Believin' is actually the worst song in existence.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:22 AM
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28

Devo's "Mongoloid".


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:23 AM
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29

24: Nobody but politics nerds will remember that in a few years.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:24 AM
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30

1, 21: or President Kill Again, althought it's not particularly peppy.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:24 AM
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31

27 is right. Or closer to right than 25.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:24 AM
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32

If we're being serious, I'd want Neil Diamond's "America."

Would you pump your fist in the air at "Today!"? Because it'd be a waste otherwise.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:25 AM
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33

"Government Center"


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:26 AM
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34

32: Of course.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:29 AM
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35

I think I'd go with "Kansas" by the Wolfgang Press. Then if anyone thought they had a better idea I could say "What's the matter with "Kansas"?"


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:30 AM
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36

Either that or Anti-Flag's "When You Don't Control Your Government, People Want To Kill You".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:30 AM
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37

So you are all saying that you don't have preselected tracks on your phones that you already use for this purpose?

Hmm-- I've gotten funny looks after I get on the elevator a couple of times.

Either this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBpT-8Y1_C0&playnext=1&list=PL9821C4540A6DFA78&feature=results_video

or Howlin Wolf's Evil


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:30 AM
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38

This thread is EAR WORM HELL!!!


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:31 AM
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39

Actually, my top pick would be The Coup's "Ride the Fence", which is why I'll never lead a party ticket.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:33 AM
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40

Well, one of many reasons.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:34 AM
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41

For something danceable and crowd-pumping, Stand! would be good. Though if it were a tough election race, Underdog would be a nice Sly & the Family Stone choice.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:35 AM
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42

Maybe Black Sabbath's "Iron Man"?


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:36 AM
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43

Or the Underdog theme song, but I'd need to wear a cape.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:36 AM
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44

There's something to be said for the classics. Psycho Killer?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:36 AM
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45

Alice Cooper's "Hello Hooray" is good for this and cracks me up at the same time. The more mundane the speech, the better it gets. Especially by 00:54.


Posted by: Penny | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:37 AM
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46

O Fortuna


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:38 AM
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47

For the big balls award, Jerry Brown should use California Über Alles.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:40 AM
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48

27, 31: sigh. OK, then, "La Bamba" is it (maybe not for funeral orations).


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:40 AM
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49

Everywhere I hear the sound of marching charging feet, boy

45:Judy Collins is better, more dramatic. Perfect fucking album


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:40 AM
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50

I just wonder if you shouldn't feel, less concern about the deep unreal, the very first word is 'how do you do?' the last 'go home your mama's callin you'


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:42 AM
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51

AC/DC's "Hells Bells.". The stage is empty -- the bell rings. Is it just a church bell? And then ... DA DA DA DOM DA DA DAA DA DA DOM in POWER CHORDS as my leather clad figure moves onto the stage. Now let there be rock.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:42 AM
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52

"Hell's Bells" is another fine option.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:42 AM
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53

Damn, owned by 51.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:43 AM
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54

"Do You Really Want to Hurt Me", Culture Club.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:43 AM
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55

Arrrggh, too many. Tunes for extended James Brown stumbling while attendant Famous Flame drapes a cape over my shoulders type entrance ...

Maybe this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGGRi2CEFu8

[Aaron Neville, 'Hercules']

Or in the same vein:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_iC0MyIykM

[The Meters]

Or maybe the intro to this, although I'd need to walk/strut _very_ slowly as I'd want the choral part to come in [about 2 min 30]:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSGLTbXh_JU

[Creative Source, 'Who Is He ...' -- definitely NOT a waste of a 12 min 12" mix]

Or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxp0Kfgpft8

[Lee Dorsey - must be one of the most sampled tracks ever]

Or maybe some MFSB?

Exit doing a JB shuffle /northern-soul splits to this [joyous!]:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc2y9X08tN8


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:44 AM
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56

48: Unless the funeral is for people who died in a plane crash.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:44 AM
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57

The beginning to "Welcome to the Jungle" always works for fighters entering the auditorium.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:44 AM
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58

51, see also 52 and 53: You and Trevor Hoffman.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:47 AM
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59

Seriously, what kind of songs actually get used for this?

If I have to work within the confines of the vague inspiring nonthreatening song I would go with "Had a Dream" from Roger Hodgson's solo album, though Roger Hodgson seems to be a total fuckwit so maybe he'd sue me. Otherwise, Robin Trower's "Day of the Eagle".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:47 AM
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60

I'm still waiting for an answer to 14.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:48 AM
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61

Clash, "Working for the Clampdown."

Ha! Giddalong, giddalong.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:49 AM
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62

Party in the USA and Firework were recent favorites of the US women's soccer team (gold in London, silver in World Cup)


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:50 AM
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63

re: 60

During his kung-fu deathmatch period.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:55 AM
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64

No, wait, James Brown "Sex Machine."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:57 AM
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65

"Government Center"

Nice.

There's probably an appropriate Gang of Four song as well. Though I don't know that they would work well on a crappy PA system.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:03 AM
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66

I was at an awards event once where they played a little snippet of a rock song as each prizewinner walked on stage, and the only black woman to win an award walked on to the tune of the Rolling Stones' "Brown Sugar". CRINGE


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:08 AM
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Eric Gagne in his prime coming out to the mound at Dodger Stadium to "Welcome to the Jungle" with the "Game Over" signs flashing is one of my top 6 sports memories. Really relief pitchers are the core audience for this question.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:10 AM
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re: 65

Return the Gift, maybe?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOC35Im_8sg

'Please send me evenings and weekends ...'

[Possible most perfectly conceived and executed album ever, fwiw.]


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:10 AM
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69

The King of Saudi Arabia has used the "Imperial March" from Star Wars. Or rather from The Empire Strikes Back. Or rather someone else used it for him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG23bVpw65o


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:10 AM
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70

Is there no love for "Eye of the Tiger"?


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:12 AM
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71

69: Darn it, now I can't use that one, lest I be pwned by the King of Saudi Arabia.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:12 AM
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72

re: 69

That is fucking great.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:13 AM
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73

Oooh, if you wanted to piss people off, "Thank You Friends" by Big Star would be a good choice.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:13 AM
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74

66. Jesus fuck. Were the organisers all brain dead?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:13 AM
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75

Really relief pitchers are the core audience for this question.

In that case, definitely "Killed By Death".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:14 AM
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76

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVM7itZ-eGs


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:15 AM
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77

re: 75

Motorhead do good 'entrance music'. The riff for Orgasmatron would also be the business.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpqPR2Tv5Sc

Listening to that makes me think there must be a Kyuss or QoTSA song that'd serve the same function.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:18 AM
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78

74: arguably, yes.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:20 AM
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79

Personally I'd go for the Peer's Chorus from Iolanthe. "BOW, BOW, YE LOWER MIDDLE CLASSES!"


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:21 AM
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80

Though I'd probably end up with the creepy version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tZmN7eHYFU


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:23 AM
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81

I'm having a surprisingly difficult time thinking of a song that I would chose as an introduction, nothing I can think of seems appropriate.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:24 AM
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82

Is there no love for "Eye of the Tiger"?

As I recall, back in the 90s Orioles stadium would play "Eye of the Tiger" when Cal Ripken would step up to the plate.

I doubt it was an every time thing, but I saw it twice in 2 games.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:27 AM
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83

Judge Prado, a federal judge in Texas, reputedly had a sound system set up in his courtroom that he controlled, and would do things like play theme songs and sound effects as witnesses approached the stand during trials.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:28 AM
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84

54 made me laugh out loud.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:29 AM
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85

Partly because it requires the speaker to oh-so-sashay out to the podium.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:30 AM
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86

URSZULA DUDZIAK, "PAPAYA"


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:30 AM
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87

I'd like to see a judge enter the courtroom to "No Spill Blood".


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:31 AM
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88

Red, Red, Wine.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:32 AM
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89

If I Had No Loot


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:32 AM
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90

La Macarena.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:32 AM
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91

"New Day Rising", Hüsker Dü.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:33 AM
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92

"There's No Place Like Nebraska" by the Husker Marching Band.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:34 AM
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93

Morph the Cat.


Posted by: MAE | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:34 AM
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94

When I Think About You (I Touch Myself)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:36 AM
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95

During his kung-fu deathmatch period.

Kung Fu Fighting would be pretty awesome.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:40 AM
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96

Laibach, "Life Is Life"


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:41 AM
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97

60: 19 and 23 don't help at all?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:42 AM
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98

Gangnam Style!


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:43 AM
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99

George Crumb's Black Angels, in its entirety. Or just the "Dies irae", if you're pressed for time.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:43 AM
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100

Partly because it requires the speaker to oh-so-sashay out to the podium.

That made me laugh.

Thought: "Ever Since the World Ended" Mose Allison


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:44 AM
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101

Ron Paul uses the Imperial March all the time. I take it as an admission that he is a bad guy.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:44 AM
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102

Somewhat OT, but have folks seen Jim Morrison sing the theme to Reading Rainbow? Bloody brilliant.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:45 AM
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103

"Boom I Fucked Your Boyfriend"


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:45 AM
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104

The definitive* kung-fu** deathmatch music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz4f0QCZ76Q

15 years old, ffs.

* I suppose definitive kung-fu-deathmatch-music-not-produced-by-the-RZA-(or-Carl-Douglas) ...

** I know the title and video are Japanese ...


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:45 AM
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105

I wish I could find the video of it. I guess it isn't online. It was rad.

I should say it was the entrance music for like 20 of us. I was only one of a crowd. I did speak, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:46 AM
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106

"Boom I Fucked Your Boyfriend"

I never knew there was a non-radio edition before.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:47 AM
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107

At least they didn't try "Walk Like An Egyptian" for the King of SA.

Otherwise, "Numb" by Linkin Park could work (counterintuitive, but...). For portentous moments, the intro to "Little Wing" (Derek & the Dominos studio version) is possible.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:47 AM
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108

We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off (To Have a Good Time, Yeah Yeah.)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:48 AM
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109

I think this also depends on how long you've got for the track to run. Halford has it right about relief pitchers--though I have nothing but awful memories of Eric Perdu from his Sox days--but I think they've got awhile, since they jog out and then warm up a bit (or do they fade it out before the warmup tosses?).

If it were only a short clip, I'd fuck with the audience by going with the intro to "Closer," fading out before the NSFW chorus, or, if I were to be meta, Eminem's "Lose Yourself" (and then vomit from stage fright on the audience).

If I had a full minute or two... hrm. "Deceptacon," for general getting-pumped-up. Pulp's "Cocaine Socialism" or "Glory Days" if it were any sort of political event.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:49 AM
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110

4'33"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:49 AM
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111

"Seven Nation Army", pan pipes version


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:49 AM
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112

Europe, "The Final Countdown", just like Gob.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:50 AM
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113

112: Too soon!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:50 AM
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114

Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:50 AM
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115

'I Think Wer're Alone Now"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:52 AM
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116

110 made me laugh (silently, to myself).


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:53 AM
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117

re: 109

In the same vein, Plan B's Ill Manors.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8GvLKTsTuI

'Oi! I said Oi! What you lookin' at ...'

[pause]

'I'm here to talk about metadata standards ...'



Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:53 AM
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118

114 I used to know a guy in a blues/metal band who did a very heavy version of "Rudolf", which would be excellent for this.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:53 AM
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119

Manny Ramirez used to take the mound at Fenway to Styles P's "Good Times". Really, Manny, you get high? You don't say.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:55 AM
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120

Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:59 AM
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121

Or, hey, "Fuck and Run"--and then look out at the audience with wide eyes, burst into tears, and run off the stage. That would be great.

I keep meaning to do a Shatnerized version (because I can't sing) for karaoke.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:03 AM
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122

121.2: I heart that idea.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:11 AM
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123

Every time I go to a baseball game (n=2) we discuss this and judge the players for their songs. Jokingly, I suggested mine would be 'Bossy' by Kelis and it totally stuck.

I also said I'd change my allegiance to the Braves if any one of their players came out to 'Sexy and I Know It' by LMFAO. In fact, if any baseball player does that, I would change my allegiance to their team.

Most common song I heard (though biased since it's played at a lot of AU games) was the one with a chorus of 'We're gonna win, win, win, win' and something about handwaving. Or maybe vice versa.


Posted by: hydrobatidae | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:14 AM
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124

A ton of Texas college students went to summer camps where they sang (to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It")

I'm alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic!
I'm alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic!
I'm alive, awake, alert, I'm alert, awake, alive.
I'm alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic!

With clapping to the beat. It's an intense song, and whenever I use it to wake up a dragging class, they all think it's extraordinarily funny, so who the hell knows what the context was the last time around.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:18 AM
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125

Pat Benatar's "Hell Is For Children".


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:19 AM
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126

if any one of their players came out to 'Sexy and I Know It' by LMFAO. In fact, if any baseball player does that, I would change my allegiance to their team.

Matt Kemp has come out to the plate to this. Welcome to Dodger Nation!


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:19 AM
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127

Fourteen or Fight!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:22 AM
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128

The song that starts out "She's just 16 years old, 'leave her alone' they saaaaaaaay...."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:23 AM
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129

126: Excellent! I assume the Dodgers will be a step up from the Mets?


Posted by: hydrobatidae | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:25 AM
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130

My Girl Likes To Party All The Time.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:26 AM
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I always enter the classroom to the opening of Killing Joke's "Requiem" or the The Clash's "Straight to Hell". I jog down the center aisle, slapping hands with the students, and then, bathed in the spotlight, I climb to the dais to a chorus of cheers.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:28 AM
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132

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:29 AM
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133

That "Mm-bow-bow ...chick...chick-a-tick-ahhhh!" song.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:37 AM
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134

Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:37 AM
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135

Kick Out the Jams.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:41 AM
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||

A second hand camera website I sometimes buy from has a Zeiss camera lens for sale marked 'FLIEGERTRUPPE' [for WW1 use with Zeppelins]. How cool is that? Tempting to buy it and MacGyver an adapter to fit it to a dSLR just for comedy bragging rights.

>


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:41 AM
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Ba-da-ba-pa-da...I'm Lovin' It!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:41 AM
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Why do you need a special lens to take pictures of zeppelins?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:43 AM
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re: 138

Heh.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:44 AM
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Chariots of Fire.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:45 AM
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123.1 Lee has a lot of theme songs/riffs she sings during any given day and "'Cuz I'm BOSSY!" is definitely one. I don't think I have an entrance song.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:45 AM
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27: Isn't "Don't Stop Thinking about Tomorrow" objectively a worse song than "Don't Stop Believing"? And I say this as someone who likes Fleetwood Mac a lot better than Journey.

Also, what song did they play when President Obama came up on stage last night? I couldn't hear it with all the crowd noise.

For myself? If I was getting a prize or something, maybe, "Even the Losers", Tom Petty. If it was political -- "Redemption Song" Bob Marley.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:46 AM
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Oooooohhhh yeeeaaaaaaahh.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:47 AM
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144

I always liked Why Can't We Be Friends.


Posted by: real ffeJ annaH | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:49 AM
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Hotel California.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:50 AM
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Isn't "Don't Stop Thinking about Tomorrow" objectively a worse song than "Don't Stop Believing"?

No.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:51 AM
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Really relief pitchers are the core audience for this question.

Uh, no. Relief pitchers are the core audience for the question in 7. Relief pitchers don't usually give big speeches to crowds on grand occasions. (And, they might choose different music for themselves if they did.)


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:54 AM
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146 is wrong.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:54 AM
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Michael Dukakis did take the stage at some event to The Liberty Bell March aka the fucking Monty Python song. The was some genius-level strategy.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:55 AM
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150

148 is right.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:56 AM
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151

Anyway, the correct answer to the OP is the Battle Hymn of the Republic.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:57 AM
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Harry Truman reportedly disliked the "Missouri Waltz," and yet it was a staple for him at rallies and campaign events. So when Heebie has her big moment, give it up for "The Yellow Rose of Texas."


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:00 AM
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151: Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:02 AM
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154

152: She needs to choose an Emily Dickinson poem to go along with it.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:03 AM
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Oh, why not "I'm Proud to Be an Asshole from El Paso"?
And speaking of, who's gonna claim "They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore"?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:04 AM
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155.2: Well, it was written by a politician.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:07 AM
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If it's December, Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Carol Of The Bells" is an acceptable substitute.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:09 AM
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150 is so right.

In other news, I sort of expected the mail room of a publishing house to be busier. I guess that's what the Internet gets you--mail-room workers with lots of time to waste online.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:11 AM
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Anyway, the correct answer to the OP is the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

You might live in the old Confederacy, but you still belong to Massachusetts at heart. (In truth, the BHotR has moved toward rehabilitation in the South since its post-9/11 popularity boost. But to old-timers, it's still the soundtrack of Yankee boots marching across scorched Georgia earth.)


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:11 AM
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You might live in the old Confederacy

Check your history book again.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:15 AM
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re: 158

We have half a large-ish floor just dedicated to receiving stuff at my work [the naieldoB], with a substantial post room. Then again, whenever I go in to the post room they do seem kind of quiet.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:20 AM
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Check your history book again

Oh, I think I was mistaken about the state you live in. I was placing you one further south. In light of that, you should discount what I said the other day about your state's regulation of small group health premiums, because I'm not sure it applies to the state you actually live in.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:21 AM
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18.1 is my favorite here. But -- because we had this discussion last night too -- I had to go with either "To Hell With Poverty!" (in the upbeat version of my imaginary DNC speechgiving) or "Paralyzed" (now-listen-to-me-you-fuckers version). My spouse chose "Man in the Corner Shop."

(For a general fanfare, oh I dunno: probably "Haus der Lüge," as prelude to a speech.)

121.2: the above notwithstanding, I'm too young to die.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:23 AM
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161: well, this isn't the main office. It's probably much busier there. And since you work at a place that has to actually receive the physical books, I suppose it's not surprising that it has a whole floor dedicated to it--whereas a publisher, I suppose, just tells the warehouse to print whatever, and then it ships from there to, uh, wherever they go.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:27 AM
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163.last: I'm not really sure what this means, but I'll choose to interpret it as a belief that my Shatnerized "Fuck and Run" would be so awesome as to cause you to die from the sheer badassery of it all. In which case, aww, thanks.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:29 AM
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Anyway, the correct answer to the OP is the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

That's the music, but do you use the lyrics for John Brown's Body or Solidarity Forever? With the former you get to sing a'mouldering, so there's that.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:32 AM
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164: Correct.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:33 AM
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Speaking of karaoke: so I've been off drinking for the past 2.5 weeks, and one of the weirder experiences has been singing karaoke sober. Surprisingly, I managed to be almost as melodramatically campy as when drunk. Go figure.

A completely unsurprising effect has been the downer of being unable to avoid noticing just how inarticulate you are in conversation.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:33 AM
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Further to 166: Or the lyrics to Sojourner Truth's version, which may or may not have been written by Sojourner Truth, but who cares because it's such a gd awesome image.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:35 AM
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I suppose 166 should have used quotation marks around "a'mouldering," but I wouldn't want to foreclose the option of singing while mouldering.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:39 AM
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168.last: Isn't that the worst? I had a college boyfriend who was basically an alcoholic and it put me off drinking while I was with him. College parties were fucking intolerable. (Although the intolerable Prix d'or goes to being the only person at the party not coked to the gills.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:41 AM
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Mostly histrionics, but the thought of Shatner covering that song does seem to bring on a sinister, tubercular hack. Of course you could pull it off.

One of my friends in high school alarmed me by claiming that Mr. Shatner had performed a one-man "Christmas Carol;" turned out he meant Patrick Stewart. Shatner, of course, had done the five-episode one-man "Little Dorrit" miniseries.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:47 AM
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168, 171: You could bring a copy of Brecht's "Kleines Organon für das Theater" to parties as a comfort object.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:50 AM
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That's the music, but do you use the lyrics for John Brown's Body or Solidarity Forever?

The Julia Ward Howe version is pretty awesome in its own right: "He has loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible swift sword...", "As he died to make men holy, let us die to make them free...".

Of course, it sounded better in the context of stamping out slavery than, say, invading Iraq.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 11:53 AM
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168, 171: You could bring a copy of Brecht's "Kleines Organon für das Theater" to parties as a comfort object.

I ... I don't think anyone involved would find that comforting.

Though on a related note: when in undergrad, I was recruited to help out with a performance of "The Caucasian Chalk Circle." (I was friends with the director's girlfriend.) The director wanted to enhance the Verfremdungseffekt by having me and another guy sit in the audience and occasionally yell out sarcastic remarks about the play, like those two guys on the balcony, Statler and Waldorf, in The Muppets.

It was an interesting--well, okay, an intensely uncomfortable--experience.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:01 PM
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"Jupiter" from Gustav Holst's "The Planets".
or perhaps
Purcell's "Music for the Funeral of Queen Mary"


Posted by: Light Rail Tycoon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:04 PM
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Kelis: "Milkshake" (anyone who has not seen the video has missed something awesome).


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:11 PM
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This song depicts a character much more violent than I would ever want to be, but I still like Fight Music for the Fight.

Maybe just the Na na nanana na na na nanana part.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xZDPPfHP-8


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:12 PM
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I ... I don't think anyone involved would find that comforting.

...and then synthesis revolution! Comrade, you will find your voice!


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:16 PM
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I had a college boyfriend who was basically an alcoholic and it put me off drinking while I was with him.

Oudemia Is Not Amused photo explained!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:34 PM
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Final Countdown, on the theory that thinking about GOB Bluth's illusions would loosen me up a little for the speech. Or maybe the Ewok music from Return of the Jedi.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:38 PM
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182

See 112 for PWNAGE.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:40 PM
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180: HA! Nooo. I'm almost certainly loaded in that picture.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:40 PM
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182: but was it ever your ringtone?


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:41 PM
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It wasn't. I concede defeat.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:44 PM
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I won't even walk into a room if they're not playing "Show Me Your Firetruck" for me.

When I was still in TKD, my college team was nationally dominant. One year (after winning Nationals for the fourth or fifth time straight), when we jogged in to the medal ceremony (matching uniforms, which was rare, two straight lines in order of weight class, unison), the men's team whistled the dramatic parts of Carmina Burana. I hadn't known they were going to do that. We got in trouble for arrogance (rightfully so), but it was kinda awesome.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:47 PM
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re: 186

Heh. The French [who aren't quite as dominant as they'd like to believe] aren't quite that bad at savate tournaments, but they are quite close.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 12:55 PM
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Someone sent me a song called "Crazy Bitch" for my running mix. Can't remember the artist, but it feels like a good anthem.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 1:02 PM
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Well, we did get scolded after. The more surreal part was flying home and crossing airports with a shiny seven foot trophy.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 1:10 PM
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Maybe just the Na na nanana na na na nanana part.

Oooh, thank you, you've reminded me of a good song choice: "The World Is What You Make It"


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 1:11 PM
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The French have a habit of rocking up with a team of masseurs and trainers, setting up massage tables in the warm-up area and their fighters get ostentatiously pampered while everyone else fends for themselves. It doesn't really endear them.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 1:24 PM
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I'm going to take the first 30 seconds of Fugazi's "Public Witness Program". Not that I'm anything like that hard, but if you're going to walk out, do it up right.


Posted by: Jimmy Pongo | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 1:28 PM
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188: I don't think the lyrics to that one would send the right message to your constituency.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 1:32 PM
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We weren't there to make friends.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 1:40 PM
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193: My constituency, let me show you it...


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 2:13 PM
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d25fVFv0YRM


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 2:25 PM
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Or maybe Someday Baby:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gALi97_vqkU


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 2:30 PM
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185: actually, I got too embarrassed after a while. Not a problem with either total strangers or people who know me well, but that in between category.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 2:42 PM
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186 and 191 are bringing back memories of high-school quiz-bowl tournaments, but that's so much dorkier than TKD or savate that I think should keep this to myself.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 2:44 PM
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200


199: Was it you who copped to entering the quizbowl venue to the theme from Rocky?


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 2:55 PM
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Hit Me Baby One More Time.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 2:57 PM
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I Want You to Want Me.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 3:00 PM
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203

Happy Talk, from South Pacific.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 3:06 PM
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204

In college intramural softball, a guy I knew used the Hallelujah chorus as his intro.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 3:10 PM
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(For a general fanfare, oh I dunno: probably "Haus der Lu:ge," as prelude to a speech.)

Parts of "Yü-Gung" would work as well.

Ich bin sechs Meter gross, und alles ist wichtig!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 3:22 PM
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http://www.myspace.com/music/player?sid=731095&ac=now


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 3:35 PM
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Right band, wrong song


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 3:38 PM
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The Charlatans, "One to Another".

or perhaps Primal Scream, "Swastika Eyes", the Chemical Brothers remix?


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 4:03 PM
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Lee Perry & The Upsetters, "Return of Django"


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 4:39 PM
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Shit, Natilo's mention of the Upsetters reminds me of another great intro choice: Barry Adamson's 007 Fantasy Bond theme, from the Soul Murder album. With the full spoken word intro.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 5:04 PM
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211

What would be the most pretentious song you could pick?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 5:09 PM
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212

Probably Fun.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 5:10 PM
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wait-- giant stage in politics, or in our field/career? If the latter-- Mckay, "It's a pose"


Posted by: backwardsinheels | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 5:29 PM
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Most pretentious choices? Substantially the same, I expect.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 5:52 PM
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I didn't offer "it's a pose" as answer to most pretentious-- though I guess it could be read that way. (more like 'most likely to make 80% of audience squirm in 'nice guy' tm seats; the 10% that are women laugh with, & the 10% of the guys that have enough humor to laugh at themselves laugh also)
the value of 'because it's funny' is vastly underestimated.

most pretentious-- 'death and the maiden' (Schubert). Doubly pretentious. (but so much, it's funny)


Posted by: backwardsinheels | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 6:05 PM
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205: yeah, objectively a better choice, but I myself couldn't pull it off. Isn't it "richtig"?

211: would have to be a medley. You know: O Fortuna, segue into Born in the USA, which is what I sing as I make my morning oatmeal.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 6:21 PM
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What would be the most pretentious song you could pick?

"Battle of Epping Forest"


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 6:39 PM
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218

Both to the OP and the pretentious questions: "Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours".


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 7:05 PM
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Most pretentious: Ravel's "Bolero", where the entrance procession has to be slow and elaborate enough to last the full length of the piece.


Posted by: Jimmy Pongo | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 7:10 PM
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I suppose it's topical enough to mention that my band plays a game when we're in the van where you substitute "squirrel" (usually for "girl") in various songs/lyrics. Hence:

-"Squirrel you know it's true / ooh ooh ooh / I love you"
-"My Squirrel"
-"Squirrel, You'll Be a Woman Soon"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 7:17 PM
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"Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Squirrel" is another.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 7:18 PM
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That works even better with "Owl".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 7:24 PM
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222: like the bible


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 7:29 PM
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Some people think little girls should be seen, and not heard, but I think....


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 7:37 PM
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Also: Asian Dub Foundation/Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, "Taa Deem"


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 7:41 PM
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"Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Squirrel" is another.

The squirrels had feudalism, but not in a way we can understand anymore.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 7:56 PM
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Lee Perry & The Upsetters, "Return of Django"

Such a good track, though if I'm going that route for an entrance song:

"(I am) the Upsetter":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YN0PI5b4Nww


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:09 PM
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228

I can't believe I'm the first person to say "Call Me Maybe."


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:20 PM
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229

I can.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:23 PM
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230

The Marseillaise. That's what it was invented for!

The Soviet national anthem (red army choir version) is pretty good too.

Great national anthems live in that special zone between most pompous and most awesome.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 8:31 PM
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231

The pretentious version would be an audio-visual juxtaposition of Carmina Burana with Carmen Miranda


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:40 PM
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232

Lemme Smang It Girl.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:55 PM
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||

Gee, I haven't heard a good "busted by the feds" story in a while. Remember: don't fucking talk to the fucking cops, ever. Not sure it would have helped in this case.

Also, don't help your blind friend cross state lines to talk to the dude he's been having a phone phreak battle with. Avoiding that would have helped tons.

|>


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 9:58 PM
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phone phreak

That still happens?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:07 PM
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I know all the words in that comment. But put together in that fashion, they don't mean much to me. /old Jew


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:07 PM
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234: apparently!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:07 PM
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It involves 1. continuing to have a landline and 2 pretending you are too disabled to dial, so it would be fair to say it's a bit retro.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:09 PM
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I mean there's other stuff you can do with prepaid phones but it doesnt sound interesting. In general it seems like a funny little backwards-looking niche, like steampunk or blogging.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:10 PM
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I know all the words in that comment.

Really? Even "phreak"?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:33 PM
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124: I'm late to the thread, but I totally sing "I'm alive, awake, alert..." to my undergrads when they're dragging!


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 09- 7-12 10:50 PM
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155 "Ride 'em Jewboy" would be another fine choice. But I think I'll stick to the "oh shit here she comes" orchestral lead-up to Klytämnestra's entrance in Elektra.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 12:32 AM
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Crossing the thread-streams, here's a quote from Andy Murray on choosing the walk-on music for the US Open semi.

When they go out on the main court on Saturday, he gets to choose his walk-on music but, interestingly, he has declined to do so. "It's actually better if they're playing songs you don't like because then you don't focus on it that much," he says.

Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 3:07 AM
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233 Say what now? Joybubbles has been dead for what, 5 or 6 years now. Do you have a link?


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:18 AM
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Should be easily googleable based only on what I've said so far, at that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:53 AM
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Well, plus some knowledge of where I live.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:54 AM
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Nope, don't even need that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:54 AM
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"Your Touch," the Black Keys. Because I am Kenny Powers make speeches to the ladies.

OT: If I catch the deadly hantavirus, who wants my PlayStation 3?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:18 AM
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My Google-fu must be very weak this morning. I'm only finding stories from 2008.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:22 AM
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Yeah, that's the one.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:25 AM
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The people who called in this hoax definitely don't seem to have been using phone phreaking.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:36 AM
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The stuff the blind kid got convicted for (SWATting) barely qualifies as phreaking; you have to spoof caller ID to do it but it really just seems to involve being a shithead.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:38 AM
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRXhDQXhdXE&

Not me, but I know some people who could come in with the sha la la la la las. Nothing matters in the whole wide world


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:39 AM
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That said, it does sound like the blind kid (and his (former) friend who I was talking to) genuinely has skills. It's just that the universe in which those skills are relevant is contracting.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:39 AM
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Actually, this one would be better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw5JkJQgYsM&


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:42 AM
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||

Is YouTube showing everyone Spanish-language ads bashing Mitt Romney, or is that just me?

|>


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:54 AM
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Helikopter-Streichquartett


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:55 AM
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233

... Remember: don't fucking talk to the fucking cops, ever. Not sure it would have helped in this case.

Maybe not since his blind friend seems to have said quite a lot, apparently thinking the cops would understand his desire to get the telephone security guy to stop "harassing him" so he could continue to place false emergency calls in peace.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:24 AM
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Well, right, the whole plan to just go talk to the anti-fraud investigator and sort this whole thing out like bros was a flawed one. Then, having embarked on that plan, waiting around when the anti-fraud investigator said "no, no, hang on. Wait here on my property. I'll be right back" was also not thought-through. But anyhow even after all that, and even with the blind kid telling all kinds of stories, talking to the cops absent a lawyer was likely NOT HELPFUL.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:28 AM
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But I probably should leave off with the detail -- not like any of it's secret, but also not like the dude said "hey go talk about this on ther internet".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:32 AM
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I did hear a lot of entertaining things about the Mackerel economy.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:33 AM
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258

... talking to the cops absent a lawyer was likely NOT HELPFUL.

Probably not but why expect people to stop after one or two bad decisions?


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 9:40 AM
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There's a potato chip commercial in there somewhere.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 10:03 AM
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142.2: No one here answered my question, but then I chanced on this http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=755856

What a crazy coincidence!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 10:17 AM
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Well, right, the whole plan to just go talk to the anti-fraud investigator and sort this whole thing out like bros was a flawed one.

No kidding. Back when I was doing fraud stuff in telecom if some hacker idiot had shown up at my house I would likely have done something violent to them.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 11:44 AM
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Scratchy vinyl of Wanda Landowska's _Goldberg Variations_. (For the OP, but steganographic messages in the recording error would be all that.)


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 1:26 PM
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Landowska [several heart emoticons]


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 2:39 PM
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I mean, why place bullshit fake fire calls when, with a hosted asterisk box you can ring up the Indian Foreign Ministry and pretend to be from Pakistan?


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 3:50 PM
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I'm pretty sure the accent would have been a giveaway on that score.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 4:19 PM
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Anyhow to reiterate the guy who was telling me about this does not do swatting. He's more classically interested in systems, you know? He just was friends with the blind dumbass. And is apparently susceptible to being talked into really stupid ideas.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 4:22 PM
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You should have gotten him to go snipe hunting.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 4:24 PM
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why expect people to stop after one or two bad decisions?

A philosophy by which I live my life.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 4:34 PM
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Remember: don't fucking talk to the fucking cops, ever.

I may have mentioned this before, but I love that Rory has a middle school teacher who taught this as an explicit class lesson.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 4:46 PM
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Remember: don't fucking talk to the fucking cops, ever.

I may have mentioned this before, but I love that Rory has a middle school teacher who taught this as an explicit class lesson.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 4:46 PM
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I may have mentioned this before

In the previous comment, even.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 4:49 PM
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Why expect me to stop after one dumb comment?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 4:57 PM
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I am the square in the room. Why do you not ever talk to the cops, ever? I mean, I'm wary of the cops in certain circumstances myself, chiefly when I'm doing something illegal, obvs., but that's just, I dunno, historical training or something. Still I wouldn't teach it to kids.

(/end earnest)


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 5:05 PM
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The message is "Don't talk to cops if you have something to hide. PS: Everyone has something to hide."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 5:31 PM
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276: Here's a video argument.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 5:32 PM
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277: Oh. But unless the cops are going to delve into every aspect of your life, you may well not have something to hide on the relevant issue. I'm just a little impatient on this, I guess. I've had fruitful conversations with the cops, mostly about break-ins and muggings. They didn't ask whether my license plate was expired or whether I know anyone who smokes pot. Maybe I'm just being really white and privileged here.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 5:45 PM
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279: You're not the only square in the room, parsimon.
When a police officer tackled the man that was punching me, I said, "Thank you!".



Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:15 PM
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I knew a guy who would mostly succeed in talking the cops out of arresting him. Winning smile.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:19 PM
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Yes, when you have called the police because of a crime committed against you, and the crime isn't, like, "somebody stole my weed, and you are sober, then you know their intentions and it's probably fine. It is situations (such as, for instance, you witnessed a crime or the cops think you witnessed a crime or you know somebody who the cops think might have committed a crime or, you know, almost anything other than the very specific circumstance mentioned above) where you do not know the cops' intentions and they want to talk to you where there is just no upside to doing it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:27 PM
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There was that Florida guy recently who was tripping balls and kept calling 911 saying that his dreams were coming true. (They played all his calls on the morning radio show the other day.)

On the last call he begins by saying "Hello, 911? I keep calling and the last time the 911 guy said that if I call one more time, you guys are going to come arrest me."
The operator confirms that there is no emergency and sends a guy out to arrest him. It was kind of funny to listen to.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:29 PM
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My friend always knew what they wanted him for.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:31 PM
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Back home, there was some young couple high on meth who froze to death while calling 911. They were too high to give enough info for the police to find them quickly and were dressed too poorly to survive even a few hours on an exceptionally cold night.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:37 PM
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283 Antwerp.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:42 PM
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Die Antwerp?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:43 PM
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282: It is situations [...] where you do not know the cops' intentions and they want to talk to you where there is just no upside to doing it.

I'll sort of buy that: if a cop shows up at my door and starts asking questions regarding something I didn't even know was occurring, yeah, I won't have much to say without asking them a lot of questions (about what's going on) myself. Which they may not answer.

Being a witness to a crime, I don't know: I was walking down the street with a friend when some jackass walked up behind us and whacked my friend across the back of the head with a 2x4. Holy shit! I was a witness. Sure, I answered questions -- though the answers were mostly "I have no idea, we need to get to the emergency room."


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:54 PM
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Then there's this guy, who ran a septic pumping service and was apparently just dumping the raw sewage into a creek on his property. One of his neighbors called the cops. Then:

According to a trooper affidavit filed in state court this week, Trooper Matthew Heieren went to talk to Champ on Sept. 26. Heieren knocked on the door of a white trailer, and a man later identified as Champ answered. Heieren said he wanted to talk to Champ about possible sewage dumping. Champ told the trooper to leave and shut the door, the affidavit says.
Heieren had just started walking out of Champ's driveway, where several "no trespassing signs" were posted, when dispatchers radioed the trooper that Champ was on the phone making threats, according to the trooper affidavit.
"He stated on 911 that there was a trooper on his property and he is going to shoot and has a gun in his hand," the affidavit says. "Champ made the threat more than once on the recorded 911 line ... Heieren shone his flashlight down the driveway towards the trailer and drew his firearm, afraid for his life."
Another trooper picked up Heieren, who later forwarded charges to the Palmer district attorney, the affidavit says.

It turned out the guy also had a huge pot-growing operation on the property. He recently pleaded guilty to a bunch of the charges against him.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 6:58 PM
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On the other hand, if a cop shows up at my door and starts asking questions about something I didn't know was occurring -- say, that there have been a lot of break-ins and vandalism in the area recently, and have I seen anything -- I don't see why I'd clam up. If I've seen something, okay, fine, I'll say so. I'm not going to spread mere rumors or suspicions, mind.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:00 PM
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When I get asked about that kind of thing, I always point to the house of the lady who keeps parking so that my driveway is half blocked.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:04 PM
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I mean, a guy was murdered behind the old bookstore a few years ago, and I definitely mentioned to the cops that there was drug activity (and prostitution) in the area. Maybe this makes me a narc, but I figure the people should generally know this, since it's really apparent and everyone in the neighborhood knows it.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:05 PM
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Somebody getting murdered by a prostitute is how I expected to see the Italian government fall but I was wrong.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:12 PM
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287 This.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:15 PM
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Anyway, I continue to think that Sifu is overstating the case in 282.

I'm cautious in the you know somebody who the cops think might have committed a crime scenario.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:42 PM
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||

I'll be really glad when we get out of the era where computers come with 32-bit and 64-bit versions of the same library and compilers never seem to make consistent choices about which ones they're using and I keep having to manually re-arrange paths or Makefiles to make things work.

|>


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:45 PM
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Also, I blame the police.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:45 PM
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290 On the other hand, if a cop shows up at my door and starts asking questions about something I didn't know was occurring -- say, that there have been a lot of break-ins and vandalism in the area recently, and have I seen anything -- I don't see why I'd clam up.

Ask Skip Gates.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:50 PM
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296: oof. If it's a mac you can effectively break most 32 bit things by upgrading to Lion (or Mountain Lion).


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 7:54 PM
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My Macbook is still running Snow Leopard and is a huge mess -- I have three different python installations, one of which can't compile scipy, one of which can't function with some other package I use occasionally, and... I forget what the issue is with the third one. And the Fortran compilers are an even bigger hassle.

But my current problem was on the Ody/ssey cluster, at least when using a certain version of gcc that's available as a module but isn't their default installation, which I needed to compile something that's apparently using really new features in gfortran (there are really new features in gfortran!?).


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:01 PM
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One followup question for gswift, if he's reading -- since this is, weirdly, not the Fuzz thread -- is it normal for police not to apprise citizens of any outcome? That is, the dead guy my bookpartner found behind the bookshop, it was my partner who called it in, and we and the neighbors were interviewed, but then we couldn't find out anything about whether a perpetrator had been found in the months following. No explanation. Is that just up to the press to report?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:02 PM
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272

I may have mentioned this before, but I love that Rory has a middle school teacher who taught this as an explicit class lesson.

This would annoy me possibly to the point of complaining to the adminstration about the teacher.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:50 PM
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301

... is it normal for police not to apprise citizens of any outcome? ...

IANAC but I would say yes especially when you don't have any direct stake in the matter.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:52 PM
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James is not a citizen!


Posted by: heebie-heebie | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:53 PM
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Jesus, this program I'm trying to compile is written in a mix of Fortran and O'Caml. Now that I worked around the Fortran difficulties I'm hitting O'Caml compilation errors and I don't have the foggiest idea what they mean.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:56 PM
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If you get it wrong is there any chance that the particles will collide in such a way as to end the universe?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 8:59 PM
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I wouldn't bet on it.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 9:02 PM
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Betting on the end of the universe is something you should never do regardless of the odds. Unless you know of a way to settle debts outside of the universe.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 9:04 PM
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You could do an Intrade-style thing where you can cash out early if the odds change.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 9:07 PM
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What are the chances you open a hole in space-time to where nameless horrors sleep?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 9:09 PM
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305: is O'Caml a special celtic version of OCaml or are you just talking in a mild brogue because you're annoyed?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 9:10 PM
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Anyhow I like your commitment to using programming languages that are era-appropriate to the big bang. That can't but help with the modeling.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 9:12 PM
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I didn't choose to use these languages! The crazy Germans who wrote this software I need to run did. And it's their documentation that refers to "O'Caml".


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 8-12 9:15 PM
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It is situations (such as, for instance, you witnessed a crime or the cops think you witnessed a crime or you know somebody who the cops think might have committed a crime

The fifth only protects you from self incrimination. Be careful with those instances that you don't do something that amounts to obstruction of justice.

and I definitely mentioned to the cops that there was drug activity (and prostitution) in the area. Maybe this makes me a narc

I wouldn't sweat it seeing as you're likely not telling them anything they don't already know. Those can be funny conversations though when people are telling you about things like the presence of prostitutes in the neighborhood. "Her? Oh yeah, her real name is Jennifer and her street name is "Mocha" and she's out here sucking dicks because heroin isn't free."

is it normal for police not to apprise citizens of any outcome?

You're just the ones who found the corpse? Yeah, you're probably not going to hear back unless it goes to a trial.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 09- 9-12 12:28 AM
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Wow. I didn't expect that to stir up a kerfuffle. For the record, the teacher told the kids that they should ask to have their lawyer/parent present if being questioned. The kids fully understood that this applied to the context of custodial interrogation and that no one was discouraging them from reporting crimes or asking directions or socializing with cop friends at the Labor Day BBQ.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 9-12 3:50 AM
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I will not respond to 314.1 without a lawyer present. Oh, hi Di. So yeah, yeah, I know.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 9-12 5:54 AM
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My dad hates cops, red diaper baby and sdser and all, and always told me to call him and or a lawyer if I got arrested. Got arrested in college but was so embarrassed that it was for something as stupid as stealing a bottle of (very good) scotch from a supermarket, that I just plead no contest. And 12 years later still haven't told my parents. Anyway, now I know that you can only get pardons in IA for drunk driving (! Wtf!), not petty misdemeanors, I can only work in MA any MD where they can't ask about non felonies. Also II work with governments, so non consulting is likely out for me too.


Posted by: William Henry Harrison | Link to this comment | 09- 9-12 6:54 AM
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I gather, from observing politicians and football managers, the main trick when in 314.1 situations is to be retrospectively very inobservant and very forgetful.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 09- 9-12 7:00 AM
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314.2: I wouldn't sweat it seeing as you're likely not telling them anything they don't already know. Those can be funny conversations though when people are telling you about things like the presence of prostitutes in the neighborhood. "Her? Oh yeah, her real name is Jennifer and her street name is "Mocha" and she's out here sucking dicks because heroin isn't free."

Heh. Yeah, I'd hope the cops already know, but the neighborhood watch and community association people sure don't seem to, which can be funny at times.

"Why are you closing your open bookshop?"

"Well, aside from the fact that there's next to zero walk-in traffic any more, we were seeing way too much shoplifting from addicts who'd then stupidly walk a block over to the other bookshop and try to sell them the book they just lifted from us; and all the discarded condoms on the ground at the sides of the building were offputting to casual shoppers, probably, so it was time to call it a day."

Wide eyes from the neighborhood watch/community association person: ohhhh.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 9-12 10:30 AM
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Dedicated shopper: Someone who figures what's one used condom or more less.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 9-12 11:00 AM
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Belatedly, to the OP, I have just remembered that the one time I did have to walk out on to a giant stage in front of a massive audience, I actually did so to "The Imperial March" from Star Wars. But I didn't pick it; that was the studio guys.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-10-12 7:10 AM
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