Re: Poor schmucks.

1

Assholes.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 12:54 PM
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2

Oh, I know. I really did feel bad for the Dominoes workers.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 12:55 PM
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3

Fortunately I'm capable of holding seemingly-contradictory opinions.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 12:56 PM
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4

This joke is so old it has hair growing out of its ears.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:28 PM
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5

I almost pretended to be outraged, just so that you all could point out in your predictably contrarian way that this is even funny in a certain light.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:30 PM
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6

This sounds like a great idea for a prank. Very ingenious.

I don't like listenign to awkward things though.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:32 PM
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7

This seems topical because of schmucks.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:34 PM
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8

You could run the prank as a CFO of a large multinational with huge stock holdings, and call representatives of two major investment banks or hedge funds with an extremely complicated buy/sell order, and make them repeat it to each other. That would be less assholish but might wreck the world economy.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:36 PM
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9

If it's any consolation, both parties seem to get off the phone without any idea that they were the butt of a joke. Part of the call must have been cut-off, because it's not clear where the pizzas will be delivered. If it's all getting delivered to the prankster's house, and he pays up, then no harm no foul.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:40 PM
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10

8: A prank that has the potential to wreck the world economy would not seem to qualify as less assholish by any reasonable definition of assholity.


Posted by: MAE | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:44 PM
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11

Better change my plans for Thursday evening, then.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:56 PM
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12

Though oh man those nuclear launch codes were going to be hilarious.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:57 PM
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13

Part of the call must have been cut-off, because it's not clear where the pizzas will be delivered.

I don't think you have to give your address anymore, although we do all our pizza ordering via computer.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 3:16 PM
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14

If Domino's stores your address and phone number with every order you make, that raises the amusing possibility of the pranksters ending up with the delivery made, without having provided an address. Of course that only works if one of the places called was in the same city and they forgot they made an order with that phone number in the past.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 3:32 PM
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15

When I worked at CompUSA we used to connect the tech support people to each other so it looked like they were each getting external customer calls. This worked well in large part because the tech support people were goddamned idiots.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 3:51 PM
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16

This makes me want pizza.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 3:53 PM
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17

Somehow a Domino's thread doesn't inspire pizza craving for me.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 4:25 PM
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18

I think I heard the Don and Mike Show do this trick once with 1-900 number phone-sex operators.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:04 PM
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19

I just think it's funny when they're both computing the price and not batting an eye that their customer is apparently computing the price down to the cent, and disputing the charge.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:04 PM
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20

No person who remembers anything from the Don and Mike Show can be all bad.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:52 PM
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21

How about a mix-and-match? A three-way conference call between Domino's Pizza, CompUSA tech support, and the phone-sex operator?


Posted by: MAE | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:57 PM
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22

Maybe I mentioned this before, but I worked at CompUSA. Not tech support but in the warehouse packing catalog orders.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:03 PM
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23

Do we all compulsively pronounce it Compoosa?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:08 PM
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24

22: I sold macs. Also printers.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:15 PM
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25

No, we're not all that compoolsive.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:15 PM
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26

The first month I was in the top five salespeople for the region. The second month I only showed up about half the time. The third month I was fired.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:15 PM
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27

I sold macs.

Shocking!


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:16 PM
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28

Well, I don't know if I was technically fired. My manager sent me home in a fit of pique one day so I never came back. Apparently he was very confused by that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:16 PM
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29

The first month I was in the top five salespeople for the region. The second month I only showed up about half the time. The third month I was fired.

Cocaine. It's a hell of a drug.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:17 PM
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30

||

GEORGE PLIMPTON, MOTHERFUCKERS.

|>


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:20 PM
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31

Cocaine Being seventeen. It's a hell of a drug.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:35 PM
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32

They both create delusions of grandeur, and high anxiety.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:36 PM
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33

(Just like a white winged dove, sings a song like oversleeping sleeping late, late, late)


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:36 PM
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34

Are people these days really not familiar with the concept of "dry goods"? I suppose that would make sense.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:37 PM
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35

34: I thought that was sort of weird, at that. I certainly knew.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:41 PM
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36

34: If you don't dry the goods, you get a fungus.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:44 PM
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37

||
Quick usage/etiquette question.

My feeling, as a pathologically deferential native English speaker, is that the use of "please" with requests has begun to sound peremptory and to signal an expectation of compliance with the request. Or that it sounds wheedly. I don't know if there's a standard softening strategy beyond layers of "might you possibly be able or willing to x, if it's not too much trouble?" Am I making this up?

"Could you please provide a letter of recommendation for me? THANKS IN ADVANCE I KNEW U WD."

Hmm. Now that looks perfectly ordinary and I'm not sure under what circumstances I find it too demanding. I may be imagining something like the Ud. form of the imperative in Spanish -- my husband was saying that this often sounds off, because if you're on formal terms with someone you're very unlikely to be ordering them around. "YOU, SIR: GO WITH GOD!" Anyway, I don't actually need a letter of recommendation this week, but of course any of you is welcome to write one for me. But please submit it early.
|>


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 12:37 PM
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38

I'm confused by what you are asking, but if you want a letter of recommendation, you should spell out all of letters in all of the worlds in the message.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 12:43 PM
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39

'Please' doesn't work well with asking, and asking 'Would you mind...? Thanks" seems more polite than ordering or commanding someone, even with a please.


Posted by: heebie-heebie | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 12:44 PM
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40

"Could you please" sounds peremptory to me, but 'please' tacked on to the end of the request sounds polite. "Please' at the beginning tends to sound a bit wheedling. All this is informed by my gut and nothing else.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 12:47 PM
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41

29 is great.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 12:53 PM
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42

Hello,

I'm applying for X, and thought of past interaction with you Y. Brief summary of excellent interaction if relevant. Could I ask you for a letter of recommendation, please? The application specifies addressee Z by deadline D. Thanks for considering this request.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 12:54 PM
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43

It's all in TFA. Comments at the linked post discuss when and to whom 'please' sounds rudely like an imperative.

I don't think anything got settled, but we talked about it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 12:55 PM
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44

My bosses use "please" to soften an order. But it is appropriate that they're giving me orders, so.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 12:56 PM
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45

As a less-wheedly alternative to "Could you please provide a letter of recommendation for me?", I'd suggest "I would greatly appreciate it if you could provide a letter of recommendation for me."


Posted by: MAE | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 12:56 PM
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46

34: I saw that to. I couldn't believe it.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 12:58 PM
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47

"Too," that is.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:02 PM
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48

I don't know what "dry goods" means, despite having read dozens of old-timey novels that mention it. I think it means "clothes".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:02 PM
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49

Where did dry goods come up?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:04 PM
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50

43: no surprise. (NFS?) But thanks to everyone! & I will never get a letter of rec from anyone if I do not now shut the browser and work.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:04 PM
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51

48: It just means stuff-that's-not-food. Like plimsolls and antimacassars and flatirons.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:06 PM
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52

49: you can't ignore 30 forever, LB.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:06 PM
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53

I just clicked through. Some good sense in that piece:

Yet another possibility is that "honed in" was a typographical error for "horned in." It would fit the context.

Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:08 PM
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54

Suuure, one of the greatest literary figures of his time just made a dopey typo.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:09 PM
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55

This is a man whose greatest literary achievements centered on putting himself in a position to be severely concussed. I think some erratic spelling is the least that could have been expected.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:11 PM
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56

This is a man whose greatest literary achievements centered on putting himself in a position to be severely concussed.

I know there was a lot of drinking at the Paris Review but I don't think that counts as being concussed. Anyhow you're forgetting this slice of awesome.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:14 PM
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57

Funny, I always thought of dry goods as including dry food, with a specific associated image of the be├Ąproned general-store proprietor drawing from a barrel of flour behind the counter.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:17 PM
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58

I can't decide if this one is awesome and cruel or just awesome. Either way, it's good to remember the 70s were a different time.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:24 PM
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59

Me too. Actually I thought it meant that stuff exclusively. Food that lasts indefinitely.


Posted by: heebie-heebie | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:25 PM
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60

Re: please

Please see this discussion of AmE and BrE differences in usage.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:28 PM
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61

Fogga please.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 1:38 PM
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62

Who else wants to reveal what they thought "dry goods" meant? So far the people who were wrong are outnumber the people who were right.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 2:24 PM
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63

It means stuff like you buy at Target back before Target added groceries.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 2:32 PM
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64

58 is definitely awesome.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 6:16 PM
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