Re: Why doesn't he turn on the lights?

1

Remember: Toto's 'Africa' came out in 1982.


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 6:50 PM
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It's a competitive field, no doubt.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 6:57 PM
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3

Can someone explain why Flo Rida is considered a acceptable hip-hop stage name? I haven't been so confused by a stage name since Ice-T tried to convince me I should be intimidated by a man named after a drink my grandmother might serve me.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:23 PM
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I think "Flow Rider" would be a claim of being particularly fluent in his rhyming capacities, and at that point the pun is just sitting there. And hip-hop names have always been largely puns, right?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:30 PM
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I like to pronounce his name like my Jewish grandmother says "flahrida". Obviously no one in my life gets the joke, nor do I ever have an opportunity to make it. But hypothetically I'd kill.


Posted by: heebie-heebie | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:34 PM
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I will admit to being kind of shamefully fond of the few Flo Rida tracks I've heard.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:39 PM
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7

On the other hand I have no idea what the '90s song heebie is talking about is. So!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:40 PM
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8

Oh hey wait!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:41 PM
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9

"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time" from Van Hagar's "Why Can't This Be Love" is the worst lyric of the 80s, from the worst song, made all the worse because it comes from one of the great bands, on its deep downswing.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:42 PM
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What do you have against Africa? Didn't neb link to a good acoustic cover a few months ago? Or was that ironic linking?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:43 PM
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11

Missing the link in the OP, I googled for the song and the first thing I found was the sped up version.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:45 PM
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I should have right clicked on the link in the OP, copied link location, pasted it in the search bar, and clicked on the first google result.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:46 PM
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13

OTOH, let's just take a moment to remember what a great song "Unchained" is. "AND YOU HIT THE GROUND RUNNING.". When I had a BMW convertible I enjoyed playing that at top volume in Silverlake to draw the ire of hipsters.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:46 PM
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Speaking of old songs, 3 year old is currently obsessed with this version of the Boxer, 1981 live in Central Park, which I find totally awesome (including verse not in the album version.) Also according to my calculations they're 40 in that video but look much younger- does Paul Simon have no facial hair?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:49 PM
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Not only have I never heard of the original song, I can't figure out which of several candidates it is by googling the lyrics.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:51 PM
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I think that Africa is a great song, but I also recognize that I am a bad person for thinking that.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:51 PM
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To clarify, I find the version totally awesome as well as the fact that he is obsessed with it. I can get into songs, enjoy listening, whatever, but it seems like that version actually changes your mood while listening.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 7:55 PM
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10: that was Stanley, but I do like that rendition.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:08 PM
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15: ...when he plays piano innnnn the dark.


Posted by: heebie-heebie | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:12 PM
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I have a soft spot for Simon and Garfunkel in general.


Posted by: heebie-heebie | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:15 PM
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I get Simon and Garfunkel stuck in my head all the damned time.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:19 PM
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22

Sometimes I get El Condor Pasa going on loop but with random nouns subbing in.

"I'd rather be a spaniel than a duck, yes I would, I really would / I'd rather be mick jagger than a boat, yes I would, I really would / I'd rather be Longines than from Merck, yes I would, I really would"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:21 PM
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23

Just on and on.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:21 PM
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24

Holy shit he's really old now.
I should stop talking now- in summer 1995 we took a trip to SF and driving out to Yosemite the Dead came on and I said "What's going to happen to them when Jerry Garcia dies?" and the next day, well, you know.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:23 PM
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What do you have against Africa? Didn't neb link to a good acoustic cover a few months ago? Or was that ironic linking?

The lyrics include:

As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti

which jams in more syllables than notes. Also:

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

and

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company

Didn't neb link to a good acoustic cover a few months ago?

There is a good version without lyrics.


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:24 PM
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26

I do that sometimes with "Hush Little Baby".

Hush little baby, don't say a word, mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird.
If that mockingbird sounds bad, mama's gonna buy you a strapping lad.
If that strapping lad's too shy, mama's gonna buy you a chicken thigh.
If that chicken thigh's too pink, mama's gonna buy you a skating rink.
If that skating rink's too crowded, mama's gonna buy you ... hm.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:25 PM
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27

I am sure I have mentioned here before but once I saw Paul Simon standing next to John Kerry. It was fucking hilarious. Paul Simon looked like a muppet.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:25 PM
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28

26: YES ME TOO YES


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:25 PM
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29

which jams in more syllables than notes.

I don't see how that can possibly be an objection to a lyric. God knows frequently there are more notes than syllables.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:26 PM
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30

Ditto 28. The version we learned in elementary school ended with something about prettiest girl in town which seemed like a stupid place to end it.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:28 PM
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31

I had no idea that was such a popular pursuit.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:29 PM
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32

If it's not a popular pursuit, mama's gonna buy you a leisure suit.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:30 PM
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If that leisure suit don't swing, mama's gonna by you some bean thing.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:31 PM
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If that bean thing's not a pie, mama's gonna buy you a skinny tie.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:32 PM
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If that skinny tie ain't rad, mama's gonna take you to Novograd.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:33 PM
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28: Yeah, that happens to me too. It's even funnier when you're crooning it to an actual baby.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:33 PM
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I don't see how that can possibly be an objection to a lyric. God knows frequently there are more notes than syllables.

Perhaps you could listen to the song and more aptly describe the absurd mismatch of music and lyrics in that line.


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:34 PM
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I have listened to that cover that Stanley linked. I think the singer pulls the line off creditably, though it's true that the prosody when he gets to "Serengeti" is kind of odd—but that's not a rushed part of the line! It's just melodically weird.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:35 PM
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39

Doesn't seem awful at all.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:38 PM
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40

Gonna buy you an origin that's shrouded.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:43 PM
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41

If were going to doing an Africa covers thread again, I'm submitting Betty White.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 8:47 PM
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42

And if that Betty White won't submit, papa's gonna buy you a holy writ.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 9:10 PM
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43

I am more amused by the style of song that repeats a few lines extremely repetitively but in multiple ways so it isn't monotonous. And speaking of Paul Simon, Albert Hammond's first album sounds just like him.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 9:12 PM
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44

albert hamond thought it never raind in sothern california but whose laughing now?


Posted by: Natilo Surprise | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 9:19 PM
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45

Sometimes you just use the part you want for your song or whatevs and don't worry about the rest.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 9:39 PM
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46

Sometimes also the left-out part informs in ways not readily apparent.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 9:40 PM
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47

piano in the dark:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7u5GtSIC5k

Whats that blind piano players name?
the famous one who is also black?
I forgot his name,its right on the tip of my tongue,I tried searching for it but all I know about him is that he's blind,black,and plays piano,so I didnt get much.


Posted by: lemmy caution | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 10:33 PM
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Stanley's alternate lyrics have burrowed into my head to such an extent that now I cannot but hear "Sharif don't like it; Lock the task bar! Lock the task bar!" and "I wish I was like six foot nine so I could get with a Yoshi but she don't know me and yo she's really fine"


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 11-20-12 11:28 PM
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I feel like I've mentioned it to a few of you in the other place but a really fun thing is to substitute lyrics from Guns of Brixton for the bridge in the Muppet Theme.

It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.

It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right
It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight

[Old Men]
You see it means no mercy
They caught him with a gun
No need for the Black Maria
Goodbye to the Brixton son

[Muppets]
But now its getting started
Why don't you get things started?
Its time to get things started
On the most sensantional
Inspirational
Celebrational
Muppet-ational
This is what we call The Muppet Show!


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 12:51 AM
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50

what a great song "Unchained" is

I love that whole album as if it were one of my children.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 5:15 AM
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51

So it saps you of your will to live?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 5:27 AM
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51: and makes quality time with Mrs. apostropher difficult to come by.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 5:51 AM
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53

But that's also how the album came about.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 6:05 AM
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That "serengeti" part of Africa has always bugged me. I think it's not the number of syllables but the meter that's off. SER-enget-EE instead of SER-en-GET-i


Posted by: F | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 9:18 AM
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26: YES ME TOO YES

ME TOO! I used to rock my babies to sleep that way. "If that diamond ring don't shine, papa's gonna buy you a melon rind. If that melon rind is rotten, papa's gonna buy you a bale of cotton has an odor, papa's gonna buy you a front-end loader..."


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 9:44 AM
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13: I have a new hobby now. Any other suggestions to draw maximum hipster ire? Def Leopard? Metallica? Poison?


Posted by: extexan | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 9:48 AM
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57

56: Can't go wrong with White Lion.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 9:51 AM
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58

Oversincere musicians who aren't young anymore. Yes, Billy Joel, Bono.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 9:54 AM
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59

I would start with Foghat and Montrose.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 9:56 AM
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60

Grand Funk Railroad. Styx.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 9:58 AM
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Corner case: Sincere and serious from a genre that used to be OK. Lutan Fyah, maybe Talib Kweli


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 9:59 AM
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Guysss all of those are ironically appreciable as hell. Except maybe Billy Joel and Bono. Those'll get people complaining. Also it's "Leppard", come on.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 9:59 AM
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dammit. i knew there was some spelling quirk i was missing.


Posted by: extexan | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:01 AM
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??? Please a single ironic appreciation of Yes. or Mahavishnu Orchestra


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:02 AM
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62: OK wise guy. Hootie and the Blowfish. Smashmouth.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:02 AM
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Good question. What is not even ironically appreciable?

Bryan Adams leaps to mind. I mean, the songs are just dreary. You can't listen with a smile on your face. And you can't say "so bad it's good" because they are impeccably produced.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:03 AM
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65: now you got it workin'.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:03 AM
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and billy joel is a bridge too far... i dont think i could endure.


Posted by: extexan | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:03 AM
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Let me sincerely and loudly explain why the Red Hot Chili Peppers are innovative and excellent. AT length.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:04 AM
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Europe, "The Final Countdown"; see also:
this, which is a fine example of bronie trolling.


Posted by: extexan | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:15 AM
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I hate that I missed this thread, for I love it like the child I never had, if I liked children.

I sometimes lately invent verses of this song "Legacy" from On the Twentieth Century, which I'm currently obsessed with. It just seems like lots of funny stuff might rhyme with "To you I leave my cape and my fedora." Like Pia Zadora.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:27 AM
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72

||

It is good there is nobody else in my immediate vicinity to hear me loudly guffawing while reading this.

|>


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:35 AM
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From the link in 72:

Conduct an observational study. Learn to use the "eyeball" technique to determine if a child is overweight. One afternnon sit outside a seconday public school in your community and as the students exit, make a check in a notebook as to how many out of the first 50 or 100 you would classify as being overweight.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:36 AM
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Is there a term for things you don't like without adequate justification, which makes you dislike them all the more, and to seek, at length, an adequate justification?

Oh, yes. Ressentiment.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:38 AM
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What is the usual response of the object of ressentiment? I suppose the object might get sad. But my guess: it would be another philosophic term that, to use it here, would cause extra (of both terms).


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:40 AM
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"Fire, the second safest way to travel!"


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:43 AM
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Oh my god, I'm crying from reading that site.


Posted by: heebie-heebie | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:50 AM
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I want to see the answer to, "Do natural childbirth and the quadratic equation share a common denominator?" I'm trying to imagine what 2A has to do with natural childbirth.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:52 AM
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I'm pretty sure the answer is "no", SP.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:54 AM
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Apparently is has something to do with the Wonder Years.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 10:57 AM
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What is not even ironically appreciable?

Sting? John Cougar Mellencamp?

Or, what's the hipster stance on Pink Floyd these days? I was told a few years ago by a friend that he simply couldn't abide them, sorry, no. How about Emerson, Lake & Palmer? (Keith Emerson is actually a pretty good pianist.) I want to ask about Crosby, Stills & Nash, but fear to.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 11:36 AM
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72 is my favorite tumblr in a long time.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 11:42 AM
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72. Oh my god, I'm working from the public library today, and now I'm totally the crazy person in the corner laughing by herself. The kid sitting next to me got up and left to get away from the freak. And yet I can't stop.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 11-21-12 11:44 AM
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