Re: Beans

1

I've tried this a couple of times, and the beans keep coming out too hard, even with extra soaking and after extra cooking. Possibly the beans I'm getting are too old (WF bulk)?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:19 PM
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2

I also tried baking soda.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:27 PM
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3

Maybe because our crock pot is generally on for about 10-11 hours and not the 8 that recipes call for?


Posted by: heebie-heebie | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:28 PM
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4

2: I'm guessing it ended up warm and flat.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:29 PM
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5

Somewhat to my surprise, the dry beans definitely taste much better and I am sorry if I ever thought anyone was being hyper-foodist about soaking dry beans instead of opening a can,

One of us! One of us!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:31 PM
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6

What does baking soda do to beans aside from making them white?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:37 PM
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6: softens them

softens em up real good


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:42 PM
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8

What if you get confused and use baking powder instead?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:45 PM
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9

The beans give off carbon monoxide.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:47 PM
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10

Enough to kill somebody?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:50 PM
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11

Enough to kill somebody?

Maybe somebody really really tiny. Maybe Ant-Man!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:53 PM
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12

Beans make me gassist.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:54 PM
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13

Or the Atom.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:55 PM
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14

As a non-crockpotist, or -crockpottist, I'm out of the loop: you just add dried beans and water/stock and a bunch of stuff, and you never change the water? The crockpot has settings, for like the soaking cycle, then the cooking cycle? You soak the veggies with the dried beans during the soaking cycle? You just simmer the whole shebang from dried bean to done?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 9:58 PM
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15

It is very satisfying to cook beans for hours and hours on a cold day.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 10:01 PM
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16

Is this the thread for people who've been farted on?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 10:45 PM
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15: I soak (big beans) for 6-8 hours, then put them on a low simmer for about an hour with veg, then take out the veg and add salt for another hour of medium boil or until they're done. Some people change the water between soaking and simmering.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 11:04 PM
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18

Has anyone ever tried mixing some honey in with those beans?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 11:11 PM
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19

20: Probably.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 11:14 PM
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20

Those particular beans? Probably not.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 11:18 PM
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21

We have conflicting testimony.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 11:19 PM
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22: What do you mean by "those particular beans"?

If you mean that each object which happens to be a bean has a separate identity, then several mutually exclusive sets of beans have already been described.


Posted by: Parmenides | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 11:23 PM
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23

I've heard of an apparatus constructed to attract and catch bears. It involved levers, figures, the usual chicanery, and honey of course. Some of it was old honey and some of it was new honey. Some of it was from well guarded hives, and others were from hives that had been despoiled. Some of the builders had deserved grievances and some did not. The important thing is there was a trap, the bait for which was honey. There was a bear. And there was beans.

Would anyone like to hear what happened?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 11:28 PM
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24

25: Yes, I would.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 11:52 PM
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25

"Others"? Honey isn't count-quantified.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 11:53 PM
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26

Honey is a stuff.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 11-26-12 11:53 PM
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27

At first it was simple. The bear came to the trap and licked the honey. He liked it. Some other critters came up behind the bear who also desired honey. But this trap wasn't for them! The architects weren't sure what to do, so the critters were incorporated among the levers and pulleys. It looked like that bear was going to be trapped.

But this was no ordinary bear. It was an easily bored bear, and it was getting bored of licking honey. Fortuitously some crack-laced honey was nearby. The bear'd had some of that once, but it had messed him up so badly he'd forgotten. Anyway, the bear liked crack honey.

Crack honey attracts not only bear, but many other types of woodland critters. They couldn't all be incorporated in the trap. Those critters had their own foodstuffs, but they ran to the crack honey trap regardless. And those foodstuffs chased them! This is when things get weird.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 12:01 AM
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28

The bear had beans, and those beans weren't sure what to make of the honey situation. The gustatory chapter has been cut. The tummy was rumbly.

We all know the rest of the story. The critters are free now, they're just covered in shit.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 12:04 AM
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29

And the bear was able to clear out some intestinal issues. It was a win-win.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 12:19 AM
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30

Apparently, you did have a reason for avoiding third person narration.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 5:28 AM
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31

re: slow-cooked beans

I presume not kidney beans? Or related members of the bean family?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phytohaemagglutinin


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 5:43 AM
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32

1: If your beans never get soft, I think you're right: it's not how you're cooking them, it's that they're stale. Shop someplace else.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 6:56 AM
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33

33: I find it really hard to believe that crockpot cooked kidney beans are actually a hazard.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 6:57 AM
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34

15: I throw dried beans, onions, garlic, some herbs and spices together with water into my crockpot. The only settings are low and high. Usually, I just leave it on low. I do this in the morning before I head to work or sometimes even the night before and just leave them be until I am ready to eat. I'm sure all this stuff about soaking and rinsing and all that makes some sort of noticeable difference, but dumping stuff in the pot and walking away produces a product sufficiently happy-making for me.

(Sometimes I do that with soup or stew or chilling, too.)


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:04 AM
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35

Aren't kidney beans usually delivered already cooked in a can?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:04 AM
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36

"Outbreaks of poisoning have been associated with cooking kidney beans in slow cookers."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:06 AM
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37

35

I find it really hard to believe that crockpot cooked kidney beans are actually a hazard.

Don't trust the FDA ?


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:14 AM
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38

Holy crap, vegetables are dangerous!


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:17 AM
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39

Fortunately, eating meat or fish never caused anybody problems.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:19 AM
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40

Nooooo! Lectins! And halford has abandoned us!

(Oh, gosh, though. So fear of lectins is like the whole "tomatoes are nightshade!" thing?)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:20 AM
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41

You can't eat tomatoes raw. Or at least, I don't except when somebody has mixed them into something that tastes decent.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:21 AM
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42

The love apples aren't poisonous, Moby. It's ok.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:22 AM
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43

That's why I leave food preparation to the experts!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:22 AM
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44

41: It's hardtack and coffee for me, then.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:23 AM
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45

45: Racist.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:23 AM
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46

It has been shown that heating to 80°C may potentiate the toxicity five-fold, so that these beans are more toxic than if eaten raw.

Canned beans for me, then. I was almost on board with trying crockpot beans until I read that.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:23 AM
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47

"love apples" s/b "wolf peaches"


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:24 AM
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48

Canned beans might be safer to eat, but they are far more dangerous for juggling.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:25 AM
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49

48: Botulism!


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:27 AM
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50

47: Did that have something to do with 45, or are you just going to call me a racist every time I comment now.?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:28 AM
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51

48: It's just kidney beans! Although how many countless people have made chili in a crockpot without incident?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:29 AM
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52

53: Using dry kidney beans? Maybe as many as several hundred foodies?


Posted by: 53: | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:31 AM
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53

Worst pseud ever.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:32 AM
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54

52: It's just become a time-honored tradition, although I'm sure I could make something up about 45.

Maybe:

"leave food preparation to the experts" = "make the brown people do it for me"?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:33 AM
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55

54: I'm not that old yet!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:33 AM
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56

54: What?? You realize those 59 cent bags of beans at the grocery store are like purchased by people and stuff?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:34 AM
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57

56: That's what I thought. "Sexist" might have been less of a stretch.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:35 AM
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58

57: ageist


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:35 AM
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59

58: Maybe it's because I've never looked, but I've never seen kidney beans dried in my store.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:37 AM
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58: Probably most of those people - whether our of knowledge or habit - are cooking the beans correctly.

I buy dry beans, and I don't even own a crockpot.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:37 AM
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61

58: Sure. people buy them and put them in glass jars, and it makes a pretty display in the kitchen. They mostly know better than to try to cook with them though.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:38 AM
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62

We buy dried beans, but only the little green or red ones.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:39 AM
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63

Yeah, oudemia, didn't you know that nobody else actually cooks? We talk as if we did, but it's really all just cleverly repackaged take-out and prepared foods.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:41 AM
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64

65: I jest, of course, but you all do realize that in so far as you do cook from scratch, you are members of a small food elite.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:46 AM
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65

66: I believe elite is a poor choice of word in that context. Maybe "cadre", and not all that small.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:53 AM
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66

Crock pots aren't *stand mixers* for goodness sake. (Although they haven't [yet?] returned to their avocado-and-goldenrod heights of the 1970s.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:54 AM
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67

66: Actually, no. There's still a huge cost incentive to cook from scratch. (Along the same lines, the most frequent consumers of fast food are middle-income, not low-income.)


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:55 AM
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68

Nothing better than a good "People don't really cook like that except food obsessives with peasant nostalgia, you elitist" / "Except the actual peasants, you elitist racist" argument.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:55 AM
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69

Maybe "cadre"

Pod?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 7:57 AM
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70

67; Did I mention that you are also a linguistic elite, in so far as you worry about word choice?

God, I'm an idiot.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:01 AM
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71

Crock pots aren't *stand mixers* for goodness sake.

In my house they are similar in that they both are rarely used and mostly sit in the basement.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:03 AM
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72

I don't even own a crock pot.*

*I cook my beans in a special middle eastern clay pot.**

**I only wish I were kidding.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:06 AM
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73

Lots of people cook with dried beans. I usually soak them the night before.

We cook a lot, I think, by contemporary UMC standards. It definitely saves money and it's better for your health unless you have really awesome takeout options (nowhere I've lived recently.)


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:08 AM
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74

I don't even own a special middle eastern clay pot.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:09 AM
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75

Incidentally, I found the link in 69 with a question-phrased search.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:10 AM
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76

76: Poor Moby! Since oudemia is so embarrassed about it, maybe she'll send hers to you.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:11 AM
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77

If I put my crockpot on high, the liquid in it eventually boils. So long as I do that I'm going to consider myself safe from bean poison.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:13 AM
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78

If I put my crockpot on high, the liquid in it eventually boils. So long as I do that I'm going to consider myself safe from bean poison.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:13 AM
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79

Also, the external vent on my range isn't installed properly so it doesn't draw enough air to make a proper draft.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:13 AM
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80

DOUBLE BEAN POISON BLOCK!


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:14 AM
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81

82: You got yourself a good one, Sifu!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:15 AM
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82

If your middle eastern clay pot is ordinary, so are you.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:18 AM
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83

I heard someone on some NPR call in show babbling about the freshness of her beans. I thought, "Must be one of those Rancho Gordo cultists," and sure enough it was.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:18 AM
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84

I like refried beans, but maybe those aren't very fresh.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:21 AM
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85

||
NMM to Jill Kelley's inviolability.
|>


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:22 AM
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86

She never actually had inviolability, did she? She just thought she did.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:24 AM
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87

81: I initially misread "range" as "rage" but still wasn't surprised by the content of the message.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:25 AM
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88

I thought, "Must be one of those Rancho Gordo cultists," and sure enough it was.

Man, it really is something though. It's startling how fast those can cook sometimes.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:27 AM
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89

88: Apparently she had *something* that she doesn't have anymore.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:28 AM
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90

91: yeah she lost her honorary consul status, which had some privileges attached. Just not personal inviolability.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:31 AM
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91

I was going to try them since pre-soaking requires more planning ability than I have, but I prefer not to be startled by my food.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:32 AM
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92

I don't avoid third-person narration, but I do ridicule the conclusory omniscient kind.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:33 AM
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93

re: 35

I think that poisoning from undercooked kidney beans isn't that uncommon, actually. Of course some crockpots, as per Blume above, do heat to boiling point. If it was a concern, you could just boil them for 10-15 minutes in a pan and then transfer to the slow cooker.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:40 AM
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94

Strike "babbling" from 85, for "carrying on". It makes it sound like I was trying to evoke a hysterical woman image, when all I wanted to do was make fun of beanies.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:41 AM
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95

Eggplant, what are you babbling about?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:43 AM
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96

It's startling how fast those can cook sometimes.

Yeah, sometimes, he said with detectable quantities of bitterness.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:43 AM
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97

It's important to note when bitterness is detectable. If you just wrote "bitterly," how would anyone know? Likewise, it is imperative to denote that bitterness comes in quantities; otherwise one might think that bitterness was an all-or-none proposition.

Also, italics should be used whenever possible. If the italics denote a specific manner of speech -- bitter speech, par example -- then you'd better tell the reader that as well by using that very word later on. Otherwise the reader might have to think.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:49 AM
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98

88: Apparently she had *something* that she doesn't have anymore.

Sanity. Dignity. I mean, I could go on.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:54 AM
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99

96.last -> 97


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:56 AM
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100

Oh, text, you're so cute.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 8:56 AM
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101

100: I try my very best each day for you.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 9:00 AM
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102

Let me be (really?!) the first to recommend a pressure cooker. It is a pity that it doesn't let you walk in the door to a hot dinner.

There's an electric combined pressure cooker-crockpot that might, though.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 9:19 AM
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103

There's an electric combined pressure cooker-crockpot that might, though

Oh man. Want. This is not going to help refute charges that I'm a kitchen gadget hoarder.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 9:25 AM
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104

Wait, the "freshness" of dried beans matters? Why? They're dried.

Our rancho gordo beans have all been sitting in the basement for several years. We eat them slowly.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 9:58 AM
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105

104 is excellent.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:01 AM
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106

I echo 104.1.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:02 AM
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107

I love you all.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:05 AM
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108

I got a lot of problems with you people.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:06 AM
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109

Hey guys, if we reverse the score, we're really winning! We're winning!


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:06 AM
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110

109.1 is great, but I dunno, 109.2 has a lot going for it as well.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:07 AM
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111

I go through RG beans too fast. I ran out a few weeks ago for the second time in a few months.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:14 AM
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112

My understanding is that aging does still take place, though over a period of months. And it probably depends on how it's stored.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:17 AM
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113

If you store them under a pyramid, they keep longer.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:19 AM
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114

Wait, the "freshness" of dried beans matters? Why? They're dried.

It's a spectrum. Beans can become so dry, due to time and/or storage conditions, that they'll never get tender despite prolonged boiling.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:19 AM
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115

I've actually got kidney beans (and black beans) in the crockpot on low right this very minute, and guests coming over tonight for dinner. Poison for everyone!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:22 AM
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116

So dump them into a pot on the stove and boil properly for ten minutes before dinner. Problem solved.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:30 AM
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117

I just placed a big order. Thanks for reminding me, guys.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:31 AM
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118

116: How is that solving the problem? Her guests will still be alive.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:33 AM
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119

Not if she boils them properly.


Posted by: Awl | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:49 AM
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120

But then I have to dirty an extra pot and take an extra ten minutes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:57 AM
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121

It takes way more than ten minutes to boil guests.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 10:58 AM
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122

I just like it when their skin gets nice and bursting.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 11:01 AM
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123

She only has to boil the guests long enough so they're not toxic


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 11:08 AM
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124

123: Depending on the guests, that could take awhile.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 11:18 AM
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125

Good news! The crockpot is simmering! Rest easy, everybody.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 4:46 PM
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126

Hey, good to know about Phytohaemagglutinin poisoning from improperly cooked red kidney beans. The few times I've made them from scratch, they've taken absolutely forever in both the soaking and cooking stages, to the point where they're the only beans I use from a can instead. Good advice to boil briskly before preparing dried ones.

It doesn't sound from the link in 36 as though other beans are much of a concern.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-27-12 5:57 PM
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127

I ordered chili for dinner tonight at a diner, and it had whole red kidney beans in it. I was kind of nervous but I haven't gotten sick yet. Probably they were from a can anyway.

And then I found $11.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-29-12 7:57 PM
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128

Regarding beans, tonight for dinner I head channa masala, and I kept plopping in hummus and then scooping it out with tortilla chips. It was delicious.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-29-12 7:59 PM
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129

1333.2: Commenting in base 4 is the new black.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-29-12 8:00 PM
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130

129: I would have said five, but I actually did find that I owed eleven dollars fewer than I expected to, and didn't want to lie by omission.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-29-12 8:02 PM
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131

130 was bizarrely humorless.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-29-12 8:03 PM
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132

131: It's OK, I like that about you.


Posted by: renegade bane | Link to this comment | 11-29-12 8:04 PM
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133

130: When you're among friends, it's a Sin of Bromission: a sin that's immediately forgiven.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-29-12 8:04 PM
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134

128: You are creative both in your combinations of food and in your spelling of "had"!

129: You are clever!


Posted by: renegade bane | Link to this comment | 11-29-12 8:05 PM
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135

134.1: Oops. I am le tired.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-29-12 8:06 PM
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136

133: Perhaps, but it can be difficult to tell the difference between a Sin of Bromission and the similar but weightier Sin of Iodission, which can only be expunged by the sacrifice of a heifer.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 11-29-12 8:08 PM
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