Re: So awesome.

1

KNOCK KNOCK! WHOS THERE. REX THE DUMPLING EGG


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 7:48 AM
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The first couple of dozen jokes are weird and bad, but then there are a ton of perfectly reasonable ones. Not good exactly, but not terrible.

There was a man with a ham sandwich sitting on a bench in a park. Next to him was a woman with a dog, and the man said "can I throw him a bit?" The woman said "yes, OK", so the man picked the dog up and threw him in the pond.

Your so old you got your pets off of Noah's Ark

Although then there's this:

There was WOMAN WHO WANTED A BEEF KEBAB AND THE GIRL GOT HER A CARTOON OF MILK AND A CHICKEN KEBAB LOL


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 8:04 AM
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if you want to catch a bear in the winter you cut a hole in the ice then put peas around it then when he comes to eat them kick him in the ice hole


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 8:34 AM
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I've shared this before, but I made up this joke at age 7 or so:

A mom is in the shower and her kid yells "MOM! C'MERE!" The mom comes and she's got shampoo in her hair and the kid says "Help me with my homework. Why is there shampoo in your hair?"
And the mom says "That's what happens when you call me out of the shower!!"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 8:46 AM
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5

exquisite


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 10:08 AM
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I'm a little disappointed that the first comment wasn't "Racist."

But I guess it's good not to be too predictable.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 10:16 AM
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Homophobe.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 10:27 AM
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I'm a little disappointed that the first comment wasn't "Racist."

Or maybe you just don't understand the implications of the phrase "Rex the dumpling egg" well enough.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 10:31 AM
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If "well enough" is discernibly greater than zero than I certainly do not.

I blame brightly-painted classrooms.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 10:33 AM
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Classist.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 10:34 AM
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a s/b e. And I don't even have a merged pronunciation of the two words.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 10:35 AM
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"Classy," not "classist".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 10:36 AM
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13

I hope I can find a good occasion to say SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS.

(A few glasses of bourbon should do it.)


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 11:10 AM
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A few glasses of bourbon can't say anything.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 11:21 AM
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15

But a lot will kill you.
Burma Shave.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 12:02 PM
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The first couple of dozen jokes are weird and bad, but then there are a ton of perfectly reasonable ones. Not good exactly, but not terrible.

Right, a failure to make sense isn't the only ground for exclusion.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 1:01 PM
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17

guess what the chicken was wearing

monkey pants


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 1:06 PM
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18

ha, seems sifu is well and kicking, i'm glad of course
regards


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 2:37 PM
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My dad spent a long time trying to teach one of their foster kids about why jokes were funny or not, because he just hadn't naturally worked it out as he got older. One of R's:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Tapric
Tapric who?
Tape recorder!


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 3:50 PM
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20

knock knock

my penas and butt


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 4:51 PM
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21

20: That one is so great.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 4:52 PM
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"Q.what did batman say to robin before they got in the car
A.get in the car"

I have to admit, I think that one's pretty good. Why didn't it make the cut for the actual kid's jokes website?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 5:38 PM
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23

It's plagiarized from the one about George Washington and what he said to his men before they got in the boat.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:01 PM
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Why, what did George Washington say?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:06 PM
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"I'm going stand for the crossing so take it slow."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:08 PM
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26

"Get in the car"


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:10 PM
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27

Mommy, Mommy! What's a vampire?
Shut up and eat your soup
Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup!
Shut up, we only have it once a month


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:41 PM
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28

SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:41 PM
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29

Since when do vampires only drink blood once a month? Man, kids are stupid.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:43 PM
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29: Blood, once a month... perhaps there's a confusion of vampirism with something else.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:48 PM
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31

It's the monthly red poop that comes from mommy's butt.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:50 PM
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32

Why don't vampires bother to just drink what comes on tap?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:54 PM
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33

Maybe they just like to kill people.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 6:57 PM
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34

The "ice lolly" comment thread didn't say that "lollipop lady" for "crossing guard" is hillarious to us, did it? Because yeah.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 7:31 PM
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(I also got "I'm a slow coach" on a cartoon an Irish penpal drew for me when I was 8 or 9 and I love seeing that on the joke site because it baffled me. I'll be quiet about languages now since the girls are both asleep and now it's my turn.)


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 7:35 PM
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28: So is that like "get your jive-ass turkey science books" or "get your science books, the ones made by and for turkeys"?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12- 1-12 9:05 PM
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37

OT: The girl Power Rangers seem to get smaller in the chest and hips when they transform. Also, the plot makes no sense.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-12 2:53 PM
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