Re: Guest Post - One of Three

1

What's different about this?


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 6:52 AM
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Who among us has not boned Brad Pitt? Cast he the first stone.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 6:59 AM
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Are any of us Jennifer Aniston?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:04 AM
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It's race-neutral utility optimizing behavior. MT refrained from attacking Brad for the unstated reason that it would have hurt his intricate financial interests during the divorce.

People of a lower social class would either not have gotten together at all during the proceedings or would have engaged in parking lot fisticuffs.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:05 AM
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We are all Jennifer Aniston.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:09 AM
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At least an alarmingly large percentage of us had Jennifer Aniston's hair style at some point.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:09 AM
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4.1: I disagree. I don't think Mike Tyson was that rational. My guess is that itjust had to do with Tyson's mental state at the time -- he's bipolar, so there are times where he might hit somebody for looking at him funny, but at that particular moment was so down that his reaction was despair rather than anger.

But the bigger reason for this was that God had worked too hard to create Brad Pitt's perfect looks, and wasn't going to let them be ruined.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:12 AM
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Peep is obviously Angelina Jolie or publicist.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:13 AM
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+a.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:15 AM
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People of a lower social class would either not have gotten together at all during the proceedings or would have engaged in parking lot fisticuffs.

Part A does not match up with anecdotes from my real-world friends, family, and acquaintances.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:21 AM
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People of a lower social class would either not have gotten together at all during the proceedings or would have engaged in parking lot fisticuffs.

Part A does not match up with anecdotes from my real-world friends, family, and acquaintances.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:22 AM
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Is he bipolar? That diagnosis is handed out like candy at Halloween, it has begun to seem to me.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:45 AM
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Was he in a manic or depressive phase when he bit off Evander Holyfield's earlobe?


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:51 AM
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Lots of diagnoses gets handed out like candy at Halloween. Aspergers is no longer in the DSM, so at least there's that. ADHD and OCD continue to be available for pop diagnosticians, though.

On the actual point, I think Tyson has been diagnosed bipolar by a professional. I haven't followed him closely, but I recall something along those lines back when the ear biting episode took place.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:52 AM
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If you go to the CMHC in costume and say "Trick or Treat," somebody is going to diagnose you with something.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:52 AM
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12: Are you doubting Angelina Jolie?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:23 AM
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When your argument hinges in Mike Tyson's being rational, you have lost that argument.

At that precise time, Tyson had already squandered much of his career and value by beating Givens, and would relatively shortly be on his way to jail for his rape conviction.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:27 AM
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somebody is going to diagnose you with something.

It might be a Dowsing Rod or a Dunking Stool, but they'll use something.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:27 AM
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17: I think getting beaten by Douglas by what hurt his career.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:32 AM
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His endorsements career, although of course you're also right.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:33 AM
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O.M.G. people. Both MT and BP are badly-drawn caricatures, neither is to be taken seriously. Their public antics exist to attract attention and revenue. All of us should feel guilty for feeding this monster with a link from an eclectic web magazine.

I would have thought that a joke (4) that relied on the guy with the face tattoo's being of high class would not have needed an explanation.

The paradox is that these shenanigans actually work to create considerable wealth, though famous people need to spend a lot to remain public, I think. The tension within a single person between rational manager of wealth and simultaneously idiotic clown in public, all subject to the considerable emotional stress of high-scrutiny reputation juggling, that's kind of interesting.

I've been reading this fame blog along with the gossip rags occasionally. Cintra Wilson used to be wonderful too, but less so lately.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:45 AM
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His transformation to karaoke singing, pigeon cuddling pop nostalgia has been surprising.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:47 AM
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21: To win with this crowd, you have to use reverse psychology. They're pathologically contrarian.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:48 AM
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Apparently, he's always been into pigeons.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:49 AM
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LW, I hate to break it to you, but I can tell you with some authority that most celebrities who appear irrational and crazy are in fact irrational and crazy.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:50 AM
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But I was told that they just do weird stuff to get attention and they're all canny businesspeoples.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:53 AM
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Sometimes, if they're lucky, they have good business managers.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:54 AM
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From TFA. Clarifications, speculations and a rare appearance by commenter Wry Cooter in the thread.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 9:02 AM
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So further, the public image of a set of celebrities will have varying similarity to the actual personalities of the underlying people. I'm kind of interested in the ones where surface and substance are sharply different.

Mocking the public image is a delicate thing, because it's never clear from the outside how tight the binding is; MT seems safer for mockery than people who struggle with both fame and personal tragedy. I don't actually know much about him.

Maybe the whole exercise in unkind enough that it's better to saty quiet, but the pull quote made me laugh, and I thought I'd share.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 9:05 AM
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25. by "exist" in 21, I mean not just that the individual acts stupid, but that the stupid actions are relayed in a profit-generating way as a component of personality. Lindsey Lohan probably isn't profiting as much personally from her life at this point as she'd like, but she's still a celebrity, in contrast to other people whose trainwrecks are more private.

Noting that the underlying person is defective is not a satisfying explanation for me.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 9:14 AM
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I think getting beaten by Douglas by what hurt his career.

Go back one step further: parting ways with trainer Kevin Rooney wrecked Tyson's overwhelming berserker style, leading to the Douglas upset. He was really never the same fighter without d'Amato and Rooney.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 9:15 AM
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31: My point was mainly that it wasn't as if everybody decided to take stand on domestic violence.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 9:24 AM
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All of us should feel guilty for feeding this monster with a link from an eclectic web magazine.

This is correct, and the reason I hate HuffPo.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 9:43 AM
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I would have thought that a joke (4) that relied on the guy with the face tattoo's being of high class would not have needed an explanation.

Sorry, I didn't get it. I was kind of confused overall by the post.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 9:47 AM
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I've always kinda thought that the Jennifer Aniston haircut would flatter me, but by the time I saw it (a year behind the trend, of course) it was already too popular for me to adopt. Maybe now I could.

My friend had occasion to work with Snoop Lion and reported him to be constantly stoned and barely articulate. I was sad to hear it. I also wanted him to be a professional, canny guy who projects an image.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 9:56 AM
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Basically I thought the anecdote was funny. The rich aren't different except for having more money, MT doesn't sound or act like a decent person with self-control in the anecdote.

My comments in the OP and 4 are irony. Aside from the low humor in the quote, MT and BP are lead-ins to musing about the paradoxes of wealth and fame.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 9:58 AM
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35: almost* every celebrity (all musicians, mind you) I met in my former life was far crazier even than their crazy public personae would have suggested. It was actually really depressing and one of the reasons that I traded in that life for this one**. In the end, I think all people are crazy; celebrity culture and its trappings just allow and/or encourage a small subset of people to display their insanity for the rest of us.

* There were a couple of exceptions, but they weren't nearly as famous as Mike Tyson.

** Which is somewhat depressing for different reasons.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:04 AM
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It occurs to me that I've moved to another job that encourages (or maybe just allows) its practitioners to display their neuroses as a badge of honor. Blech. Be more repressed, asshole academics!


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:05 AM
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Mike Tyson seems not-that-insane for someone with his background, history, and profession. If you listen to him he's pretty smart in a cognitive sense, although he clearly has some emotional dysregulation stuff going on. But all that emotional stuff could have been adaptive during his childhood years roaming the streets mugging people.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:06 AM
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40

You have a former life among celebrity musicians? How did I not know this?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:06 AM
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And of course the reason all middle-class-and-higher people are crazy is that we aren't allowed to rub the bellies of pregnant women or pick nits from our friends' hair. This is why the poor are sane.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:08 AM
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(I've been looking for that Isabel Samaras picture of Marcia Brady with a face tattoo but to no avail.)


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:09 AM
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40: because it was boring, I'm boring, and I don't want to bore you or other people here (including the lurkers, who support me in etc.). Put another way, I mostly keep my insanity, and my past, to myself.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:10 AM
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Oh come on -- you can't drop a mention of your prior life as a rock star and then not explain because it's too dull. We talk about bottlecaps here if there's nothing else going on.

You can keep your secrets if you want, but have the decency to tell us that it's a matter of national security or something.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:12 AM
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But I was told that they just do weird stuff to get attention and they're all canny businesspeoples.

Something I've observed, there are people who seem completely unpredictable and unreliable when you want them to do something which is important to you, who nevertheless are surprisingly perceptive in spotting issues which affect them.

In other words self-interest often cuts through low levels of dysfunction. That's a different dynamic than the one described above, but I do think that's one source of inconsistent behavior -- people react different in situations where their interest is only abstract vs ones in which they have/perceive a direct stake.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:12 AM
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46

Being a rock star is so dull. If only I worked in a factory in Kuala Lampur.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:14 AM
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We talk about bottlecaps here if there's nothing else going on.

Well, why not... collect those little metal bottle-
tops, and nail them upside-down to the floor? This will
give the sensation... of walking... on little metal
bottle-tops turned upside-down.

</StandPipe>?


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:15 AM
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Seriously, Waferman. What were you? Publicist? Plastic surgeon? Pool boy?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:15 AM
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Pastry-chef? Polka instructor?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:16 AM
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I've always kinda thought that the Jennifer Aniston haircut would flatter me, but by the time I saw it (a year behind the trend, of course) it was already too popular for me to adopt.

On the other hand, with a face tattoo you would probably still be comfortably ahead of the curve.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:16 AM
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http://www.ebay.com/itm/Brady-Bunch-Marcia-Tattoo-Isabel-Samaras-Art-Large-Postcard-/330808920984


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:16 AM
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37: is the issue that you have to be unusually crazy to be successful in certain professions or that being successful in certain professions would liberate the craziness in anyone, even the ostensibly sane?

If this is the boxing thread, did anyone see that brutal Marquez knockout of Pacquaio ? (Warning audio starts as soon as you click it).


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:17 AM
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My friend had occasion to work with Snoop Lion and reported him to be constantly stoned and barely articulate.

Its hard to pull off the public image as the guy who smokes the most weed, ever, without also being constantly stoned.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:17 AM
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46: depends on the factory, but come on, of course it's dull. Spend all your time traveling, possibly on a freakin' bus, see the same three or four people all day every day, work weird hours, never (outside of those three or four people, who you hopefully still like) talk to anybody who can relate to you normally without trying to screw you in one way or another, be prevented from moving freely about the world without people yelling at and/or accosting you. I mean yes, okay, you can drunk at work and possibly have lots of meaningless casual sex with people you dislike and/or look down on. Great?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:19 AM
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Portrait painter? Porsche provider?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:20 AM
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That was a brutal punch.

I wish I didn't enjoy watching boxing as much as I do.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:20 AM
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53: Dean Martin was really that drunk all the time.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:21 AM
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53: does your friend get paid a lot of money to hang out, party with hot women, and smoke weed? Can he mumble to a beat and sell a million records? If not, who is actually smarter?

Willie Nelson is another guy who is constantly stoned but has had a brilliant career...although you can't really compare the two musically, Willie's a genius.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:22 AM
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Porn producer? Poodle procurer?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:22 AM
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Pimp?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:23 AM
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JMQ: you've missed the most likely explanations: (a) boytoy or (b) VW thinks he was The Big Bopper is his most recent previous incarnation.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:27 AM
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Priapism palliator.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:30 AM
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60 is close. I was an agent. I had a lovely office overlooking Howe Sound and False Creek in Vancouver, BC. I made piles and piles of money and met lots of famous musicians. And yes, it was boring and depressing. Anyway, I have mentioned this before, though maybe only in passing to Halford.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:39 AM
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63: I do remember it. It wasn't that long ago.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:42 AM
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65

63: I knew it from somewhere, although it is possible I am merely violating the sanctity of off-blog yada yada.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:43 AM
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66

It's also possible that Moby has hacked my e-mail.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:43 AM
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I don't know VW off blog.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:45 AM
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"Agent" doesn't begin with "p", Waferman. Learn to play along. Anyway, can you go so far as to say what kind of music? Also, Howe Sound and False Creek seems like a fabulous location for someone in the music business.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:47 AM
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30: the stupid actions are relayed in a profit-generating way as a component of personality

This is a thing now, right? Due to the prevalence of social media and such -- I mean, how many twitter followers does MT have? I seem to recall that one or more of the Kardashian sisters has contracts with various restaurants and bars and retail establishments such that she agrees to tweet about her visits there in exchange for cash money.

I don't know if MT does that.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:48 AM
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I didn't mean to say "Howe Sound and False Creek" in 63; I meant to say "Granville Island and False Creek". Also, Tweety gets it right in 54. The times I went out on the road with touring acts were amazingly dull and depressing, though things improved the time I took my own car and brought my bike.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:48 AM
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I blame Paris Hilton.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:48 AM
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65: yes, we've discussed this in other venues.

68: sorry? Anyway, you knew what I meant. As for the music, it was mostly what the kids used to call rock and roll -- along with some country and folk and a bit of world music. I can get into detail if you want, but it's really not at all interesting. Most of the time I sat in the office and talked on the phone. The view was great but the conversations were boring. At night I had to go out and watch either my bands or bands that were maybe worth signing. When I was seeing my bands, they weren't especially nice to me, because I was their pimp -- taking money from them that they had earned. When I was seeing bands that were maybe worth seeing, they were usually obsequious and somehow thought I could launch their careers, which thought was laughable and sad. I loved music when I started the job; I loved it less when I quit to go back to graduate school. The best part of the whole experience was my boss, who was and is a wonderful guy and something of a legend in that world.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 10:54 AM
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Huh, I had no idea. Thanks.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 11:03 AM
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Re Pacquaio/Marquez, did people also notice how much muscle Marquez had added? I understand there isn't much drug testing in boxing. Pacquaio has also been suspected of it...


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 11:20 AM
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'it' being taking performance enhancing drugs.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 11:21 AM
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That sounds utterly implausible to me, given professional boxing's sterling reputation for clean sportsmanship and fair play.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 11:48 AM
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You people with your conspiracy theories, trying to suck the simple joy out of boxing. There's no need to drug-test these guys!


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 11:54 AM
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If their word is enough for the Nevada State Athletic Commission, its good enough for me.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 12:00 PM
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66 -> 67


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 12:44 PM
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Great moments in governmental body charters.

LICENSING AND CONTROL OF CONTESTS AND EXHIBITIONS OF UNARMED COMBAT


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 12:46 PM
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81

I shot a man in Reno, just to avoid the license fee.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 12:47 PM
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82

Nice fake, V-Dub, but we know you are actually Irving Azoff.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 1:30 PM
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Anyhow, being a rock star sucks until you get both (a) rich enough to have other people handle all your affairs for you and (b) rich enough to feel rich even after paying those guys. Also musicians are generally smarter than actors, but get screwed over more.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 1:34 PM
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Being an ex-rock star, however (that is, someone with enough income still coming in to fully support you without having to tour, except when you want to) is really great, basically the best life imaginable. The one I know best spends almost all of his time doing really great and interesting charitable work, plus traveling to really interesting places for free (show up at a gig or festival) whenever he wants.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 1:37 PM
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OT:

Is anyone else having Ancient Mariner-related problems with the title of this post?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 1:38 PM
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I thought I was all cute because people would think that One of Three modified the celebrities, when actually it modified guest posts by lw.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 1:46 PM
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At first I assumed it was one guest post of three, but later it did occur to me that it might mean one Mike Tyson out of three persons, or something like that.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 1:51 PM
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82: right, it was in the context of discussing the Poison Dwarf that I revealed something of my past. Also, you're a million percent right about rock stars. If they have a good manager and become very rich, it's as good a life as any. But very few of them have good managers and even fewer of them get very rich.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 7:30 PM
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RTFA, you guys.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-10-12 8:26 PM
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