Re: Guest Post - Three of three

1

I'm sure I've told this story before, but when my friend informed her soon-to-be-adopted son that they had to decide on a new name for him, he shouted, "I'll be Toots McGee!" and farted. Sadly, this is not how things worked out for him.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 5:39 AM
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What an awesome kid, though.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 5:45 AM
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It seems surprising that you'd rename a kid old enough to make that joke, though. His first name or just his last name?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 5:46 AM
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My wife and I were of similar minds to you on this one; we used "bloop".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 5:54 AM
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3: I belive that like a lot of boys in that situation, he was the namesake of his abusive dad and getting rid of that reminder seemed like a good idea.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:13 AM
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Makes sense.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:34 AM
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Link in OP currently returning "PAGE NOT FOUND". At least for me.

I don;t know why "fart" doesn't work for me--fails on semi- onomatopoeic grounds. Yet I prefer "bloop" over "toot" since the former better acknowledges the existence of the silent-but-deadly category (or even the silent-but-not-noxious-Thank-God-I-think-no-one-else-noticed category).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:36 AM
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It works if you get rid of everything after .php

We say "gas" although I don't remember why we chose it. I think it was Lee's preference. At any rate, I'm glad to know that since Mara can't smell I don't have to worry she'll grow up to be a fart-sniffer.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:46 AM
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we used "bloop"

So I'm gonna have a hard time convincing you to eat at this place.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:50 AM
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I'm not all that prissy in other respects, but farts turn me into Queen Victoria. It's not that I'm terribly offended by talking about them, but they don't strike me funny, and it never seems necessary or useful to mention them. Everyone does it, fairly frequently, there's nothing useful to do as a response, mostly they're not that noticeable, and even when they are, refusing to acknowledge that anything happened seems like the most pleasant and efficient way of moving on to something more appealing to talk about.

The rest of the family, like normal people, thinks they're funny.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:51 AM
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It wasn't until I got to college when I learned that "bum burp" wasn't in fact the universal, less-crass way to say fart. Like Heebie, I always kinda felt 'fart' to be a harsh word. I believe I've heard bum burp to be more a British term. I still hold it's a good term for kids...


Posted by: Rance | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:52 AM
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Most people don't like to acknowledge anything happened which is why I always try to wait until I'm on an elevator or bus before I bloop.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:52 AM
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It wasn't until I got to college when I learned that "bum burp" wasn't in fact the universal, less-crass way to say fart.

Similarly, there is a physical symptom of pregnancy which is really super excessive, and it amuses me to say "Baby burps! The baby is burping!" because it straddles cutesy/grossest possible imagery.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:56 AM
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"Bloop" sounds like there should be a dollop in your pants afterwards. Not that we don't need a euphemism for that phenomenon because the regular phrase is doubly gross from just the dry kind word.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:58 AM
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When I click the link, I get an extra "br%20" on the address, which isn't in the html link. The "php" is in the original address, but I'll try deleting it and see if that works.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 6:59 AM
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14: Touching Cloth!


Posted by: Rance | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 7:00 AM
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Yeah, it doesn't work without the php, either. I don't know why it's tacking on "br%20" but if you just erase that once the page loads, you can read the article.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 7:01 AM
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shart


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 7:02 AM
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No, 18 is still gross.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 7:02 AM
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4: Part of the code I am currently working on is called Bloop. It calculates the magnetic field of a current loop. I iterate over Bloops to build up more complex configurations. Bloop Bloop Bloop. Now I want to figure out how to justify a function called 'shart.'


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 7:49 AM
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19. Yes, it's a disgusting word that I hope to never speak aloud or to hear. But I didn't make it up, if you are brave enough, google.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 7:59 AM
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20 is me


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:00 AM
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farts turn me into Queen Victoria.

No kidding, right? There's a reason they called it the age of steam! Lay off the Yorkshire pudding, they said, but no, she'd rather blow the roof of Buckingham with some rolling thunder. No wonder nobody was interested in sex.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:04 AM
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Every time her royal carriage came by people would get confused and think she'd invented the two-stroke motor.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:05 AM
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Whenever I find myself in times of trouble or sadness, I'm going to try to remember 23 and 24.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:24 AM
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Does Yorkshire pudding really make you gassy? I thought it was just psuedo-bread and gravy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:25 AM
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10 goes for me too. Always been embarrassed by the topic. I actually feel embarrassed saying the word, which in turn is embarrassing.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:29 AM
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The only time my father ever threatened to hit me with a belt was in response to my repeated assurance that "fart" is not a bad word. As I pointed out those many years ago, they say it on Fox.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:31 AM
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"God save the Queen, boys, for she breaks the wind that fills England's sails."
--- Sir Geoffrey Phipps Hornby


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:50 AM
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There has to be somebody where who was eaten Yorkshire pudding and can answer me.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:53 AM
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Can't answer. Grimacing.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:56 AM
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Is that the Boris everybody on Twitter complains about?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:57 AM
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Ol' Puddinfarts Johnson, I believe so, yes.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:58 AM
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11: Ironically, we taught our kids to refer to burps as "non-ass farts".


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 8:59 AM
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Reminds one of the famous "fart counter" sequence in Natsume Soseki's Kusamakura.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 9:08 AM
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Or do a Google search for

bring_on_the_apocalypse_apparently

with the underscores included and then click on the Shanghiiest link that pops up at the top:


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 9:16 AM
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26. Yorkshire pudding is pancake mix baked in the oven. A lot of people eat it with onion gravy which I suppose might make you gassy if you have a sensitive gut, but the actual batter is about as neutral as food an get.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 9:22 AM
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37: Thanks. I thought it was pretty bland.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 9:24 AM
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Isn't it traditionally made with beef fat? I've only had it once, but recall it being both rather bland and very rich, given the fat.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 9:53 AM
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Yes, you grease the bowl you bake it in with beef dripping if you have any to hand.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 10:06 AM
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Obviously the Queen wasn't served Yorkshire pudding without gravy.

Sheesh.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 10:11 AM
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I'm with 10 all the way up and down the line. I didn't find them funny as a kid, either.

Actually, Kai farts* quite a bit, with no self-consciousness, and it can be funny in the way that lots of things kids do unselfconsciously are funny.

*actually we use "gas", and it was cute when 2-y.o. Iris would announce, "I gassed".


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 11:30 AM
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it can be funny in the way that lots of things kids do unselfconsciously are funny

Like when they tell the obviously drunk guy outside the SRO hotel that smoking is bad for him. So funny.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 11:32 AM
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Somebody ogged in here.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 11:43 AM
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37: My cookbook says popover batter, not pancake mix.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 12:23 PM
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Relevant to this discussion.


Posted by: MAE | Link to this comment | 12-12-12 12:43 PM
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The world is chock-full of unpleasant people—the pestering and spiteful, the pushy types, the fussers and nigglers. Some make you feel they're simply a waste of precious space on this earth. And it's always this sort who really throw their weight around. This fellow will consider the space he takes up to be a matter for tremendous pride. He feels his great purpose in life is to set a detective to work peering at your backside for years on end, counting your farts, and then he'll step out and stand there in front of you and make a song and dance about how many times you farted in the last five or ten years. If he says al this to your face, you can at least take note of what he's saying, but you'll find him insinuating things behind your back. Complaining just makes him more insistent. If you tell him to drop it, he nags all the harder. "Okay, I understand!" you cry, but, no, he just goes on and on about the number of farts. And this he claims to be his highest ambition in life.


Posted by: Natsume Soseki | Link to this comment | 12-16-12 8:16 PM
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