Re: Plucked your eyebrows on the way, shaved your legs and now you are a She.

1

So many terrible lines from that song. So hard to pick just one.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:32 AM
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"Wild" "side"?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:39 AM
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I recently joined the circus. I'm sort of regreting it, though. Some days I want my boring life back.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:41 AM
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Doo doo-doo doo-doo doo dee-doo doo doo-doo doo-doo doo dee-do...


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:42 AM
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Only in America would this be a public question, or in a forum with leaky anonymity.

The biggest constraint for parents is that your kids see your life, so either you indulge with your kids' peripheral knowledge, or you hide what you're doing. Americans love the idea of openness and honesty, so I think that the second choice makes people feel shame, and so the substantive responses (ie, the ones where people say that they are happy that you asked and open up) will be very few.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:50 AM
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edit:
question, with your friends or ina forum...


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:51 AM
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Alcohol. Definitely alcohol.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:53 AM
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or you hide what you're doing [...] I think that the second choice makes people feel shame

The people I know who have kids and still use recreational drugs don't seem to have any of this shame. But that is probably also because they're in heebie's group #2. It seems to me that there's a big difference in self-conception between people who categorize things as "how I express my wild side" and people who see them as an adult activities you do that are fun (and may happen to be illegal).


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:58 AM
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Alcohol.

At some point, I'd like to sleep with someone other than my spouse but I've decided to wait until the right person comes along rather than settle for just anyone.


Posted by: Hillary Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:59 AM
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I do trapeze* and fire-eating/fire-breathing.

(*mostly static work, not swinging yet, sadly--like this, only less of what she's doing in the first few minutes and more what she's doing starting around 3:00 through the end (i.e., things that more resemble a gymnast and less resemble some sort of a dancer). NB that was just a google hit for static trapeze--I have no idea who that person is. Although she's good--what she's doing may look easy but it's pretty difficult to do. (She's much better than me, of course.))


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:00 AM
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Sports does scratch that itch for me, a bit, now that I think about it.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:02 AM
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At some point, I'd like to sleep with someone other than my spouse but I've decided to wait until the right person comes along rather than settle for just anyone.

Does your spouse know this?


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:02 AM
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8. Hanging out with your dealer?

Maybe the etiquette for this is different for the middle-aged, or for harder drugs than pot. I stopped before MDMA became popular, so don't know about distribution. I don't view pot as a source of shame-- I don't smoke it anymore, but that's mostly an artifact of my social circumstances now more than a deeply considered stance.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:04 AM
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Man, I don't even have the energy to do entertaining things that are perfectly unexceptionable and could be done in the street without scaring the horses. Easily bored and low-energy is a bad combination; I use up all my initiative getting to work in the morning and doing the rock-bottom minimum to keep the children alive and passably cared for. Anything leftover goes into small amounts of very mild exercise, and then it's all reading blogs and sleep.

But I never had much of a wild side even when I was young and single -- even stories that can be made to sound adventurous weren't all that at the time.

(I am enchanted by the fact that not only will I never know, I will probably never even have a strong opinion about whether Urple has actually taken up trapeze and fire-eating.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:06 AM
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I don't smoke pot anymore because I just get unbelievably hungry and sleepy. I kind of miss the old effect.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:06 AM
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I probably should have found a better video.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:06 AM
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Does your spouse know this?

Kind of?

I've been up front with him that the idea of being with just him seems impossible to me but I've never met anyone else I actually want to have sex with so at this point it's all theoretical.

I guess when I do meet that person another conversation will be in order.


Posted by: Hillary Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:07 AM
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15: I have no idea what it feels like to not be hungry and sleepy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:08 AM
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Wait, 3 wasn't a joke?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:10 AM
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I find the idea of "having" a "wild side" totally noxious. I wonder what exactly about it turns me off so.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:10 AM
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17: I've never met anyone else I actually want to have sex with

This is probably just an accident of phrasing, and it's a terribly nosy question, but read literally this sounds as if he's the only man you've ever had sex with. But you probably meant 'since you've been involved with him'? And how long has that been?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:10 AM
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19: That's why I love Urple so dearly. We will almost certainly never know.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:11 AM
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18: Welcome to my world.


Posted by: Pregnant Blume | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:11 AM
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19: Why question Santa Clause when it's more fun to just assume everything you've been told is correct.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:12 AM
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I don't smoke pot anymore because I get incredibly paranoid, a feeling which diminishes over the next few days, at which time I return to my normal levels of paranoia.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:12 AM
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No, 3 wasn't a joke. Although in light of 14.last I guess I'm going to need to upload to the flickr pool some pictures of myself eating fire in my flamboyant fire-eating costume.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:12 AM
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The other difference with kids, besides furtiveness, is risk-- less-controlled people and situations are one thing for an adult, another for a kid.

Most recklessness (that I remember at least) is group activity, and it's isolating to say to your group that sure, you'll partake in the drugs and break into the building or burn the car or whatever, but we can't all have beers and smoke in my living room later.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:12 AM
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For some reason every time I hear "swings" used that way, it strikes me as incredibly dated. I guess people still use it that way.

(I'm put in mind of a line in a song from Company where one of the protagonist's friends is trying to set him up with someone of whom he says "she has a weakness for sazerac slings; give her even the fruit and she swings." Company is very, very 1970s. More incidentally yet, one is uncertain that there is a specific drink called a sazerac sling, though technically it might simply be a sazerac cocktail without bitters. But then what fruit? one might logically ask.)


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:13 AM
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23: Boy do I remember the sleepiness. I could come home from class, take a three hour nap, wake up for dinner and then settle back down for my eleven hours. For me, it cleared up a bit in the second trimester, but that first few months was absurd.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:13 AM
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Urple continues to delight.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:14 AM
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I find the idea of "having" a "wild side" totally noxious. I wonder what exactly about it turns me off so.

Doesn't it just mean things that give you an adrenaline rush?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:14 AM
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27.1: Having kids means your adrenal glands are continually being activated for one reason or another. Eventually, you don't want excitement, but calm.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:15 AM
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Also: the problem with this question is that things are no longer transgressive once you talk about them.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:15 AM
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Doesn't it just mean things that give you an adrenaline rush?

You could do those things without conceiving of them as coming from a "wild" "side".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:17 AM
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But you probably meant 'since you've been involved with him'?

Right. I haven't met anyone I want to have sex with since I decided, about two years ago, that I really do want to have sex with someone other than my spouse. I have met men I'd like to have sex with in those two years I just haven't wanted it enough that it seemed worth it to go through a big negotiation with my spouse about how it would all work.


Posted by: Hillary Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:17 AM
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Company is a fun show. That might have been the last musical I worked on. But yes, definitely quite 1970s.

At this point I consider my "wild side" to be crossing the street against the light. Something about being involved with a person who works in pubic-sector transportation has made me hyper-observant of traffic rules, even as a pedestrian.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:18 AM
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I hadn't smoked in a long time, but someone recently gave me an ounce of weed. I'd forgotten how much I love the stuff.


Posted by: George Washington | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:18 AM
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Also: the problem with this question is that things are no longer transgressive once you talk about them.

This theory interests but does not convince me.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:19 AM
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39

someone recently gave me an ounce of weed

Happy Holidays!


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:19 AM
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30 to 39.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:21 AM
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Neb darling, I am quite used to not convincing you. Instinctively, I feel I am right about what I said, but as ever, I don't have much of an argument worked out.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:22 AM
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I don't do much that's normally thought of as transgressive but I can imagine all sorts of unsavory acts that would not gain in savor if I talked about them.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:24 AM
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31. Not necessarily, no.

For one example, people who have no power in their actual lives relish capriciousness, possibly to the point of cruelty to other people in a way that's deeper than just riding a motorcycle too quickly. Definitely people living in repressive circumstances look at cutting loose differently than people who are comfortable and bored.

Admitting to boredom and weakness within yourself is unpleasant, so most will claim external pressure even when there is none. But for some people there really are external pressures.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:24 AM
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Happy Holidays!

Yeah, it was actually a Thanksgiving present. He actually gave me about a quarter pound, but I felt that was entirely too much dope to be having around if I wasn't planning on going into business with it.


Posted by: George Washington | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:24 AM
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pubic-sector transportation

Worst euphemism for sex ever.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:24 AM
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pubic-sector transportation

Worst euphemism for sex ever.

In German you can call it Geschlechtsverkehr, which can be literally (mis)translated as 'gender traffic'.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:28 AM
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Something that 'wild side' sets off for me is that it describes doing things that are genuinely a bad idea. If you're describing anything that's objectively pretty harmless as 'wild', you're a poser and should shut up and get over yourself. On the other hand, if what you're doing really does risk hurting other people, then it's not charmingly exciting, it's wrong and you shouldn't do it.

There are a couple of loopholes -- people with literally no responsibilities aren't doing anything wrong by risking self-harm, so someone in that position could have a 'wild side' without my thinking they were either a poser or an asshole. And someone who gets their adrenaline jollies by doing something useful: wildfire-fighters and the like, gets to net out harms against benefits.

But mostly I think anyone nattering about a 'wild side' either is fooling themselves about how wild they are, or is acting wrongly.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:28 AM
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48

Huh, these were not the context of the discussion from the weekend whatsoever. It was just shorthand for an exciting adrenaline rush.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:33 AM
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49

"Wild side" does evoke that awful article I inflicted upon you all with the Park Slope mommies doing terribly shocking things.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:34 AM
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50

That's exactly what I thought about as I was reading the OP.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:34 AM
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51

Right. Having marital sex, with possibly ill-thought-out contraceptive decisions.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:34 AM
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49: The one about the Bugoboo Stranglers?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:35 AM
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51: "This week, let me be the one to take the pill."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:37 AM
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I find the phrase 'wild side' pretty off-putting, as well, I have to admit. It smacks of desperation and the desire to live up to a bullshit self-image. Or, exactly what LB says in 47.last.

Personally, I have no interest at all in adrenaline-seeking activities. I fight a few rounds every week, where I can get a bit bashed up [but nothing serious] but I don't really see that as a particularly high-adrenaline thing, or risk-taking. Other than that, almost everything people do that's an adrenaline-rush seems uninteresting or actively stupid.

The 'wild' stuff I did when younger, I'm largely glad to be out of. Getting jumped by gangs of football casuals outside a pub, or having to step in to stop your mate getting glassed by skinheads weren't fun then, and I don't miss them.

The stuff that was fun then, like drinking, or whatever, I still do.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:39 AM
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I bought a new skateboard this summer so I could relive my wild youth. Then I fell off of it and cracked a gash in the top of my head. So I started wearing a helmet, which made me look like the kind of old doofus who skateboards with a helmet. Which is fine, I have no pride. But then I threw my back out while picking up the skateboard, and was bedridden for a couple of days. Haven't ridden much since.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:39 AM
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Sometimes I muse that I don't do anything that fills me with adrenaline anymore. I've outgrown the things that used to fill me with adrenaline, because they hinged on this idea that there was a big world out there that I was getting increasing access to, and each bit of access was exhilarating

There are other ways to get adrenaline. Let me be the first to recommend free fall parachuting! (Or, possibly more convenient, cycling in traffic.)


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:39 AM
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47.1: That's my reading of the phrase 'wild side.' Last time I let mine off the leash I ended up doing things that could have landed me in prison on charges of public indecency and possession. I'm very lucky a cop did not roll by at the wrong time.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:39 AM
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I've kind of run out of things that I have any interest in gaining access to.

If ruling the world via blog gets boring, can't you just fix a few NFL games to get that old feeling?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:40 AM
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I find the idea of "having" a "wild side" totally noxious. I wonder what exactly about it turns me off so.

Mullets.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:41 AM
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public indecency and possession

Demonic, or otherwise?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:41 AM
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You are all just jealous of people like myself with a well-developed wild side. Just the other day, I got takeout food just for myself! And then there was the time I had a cocktail at a happy hour at work! And then the time I crossed the Broad Street Bridge during my lunch hour just so I could cross a river by foot during lunch!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:41 AM
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But, yeah, I'm with 47 too - "wild side" doesn't just mean adrenaline to me, it has an implication of bad decisions, lack of forethought, harm to self or others etc.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:41 AM
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The best source for high adrenaline was clearly explained by Hunter S. Thompson in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Accept no substitutes.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:42 AM
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Huh, these were not the context of the discussion from the weekend whatsoever. It was just shorthand for an exciting adrenaline rush.

And yet, it's not just that -- the framing is that you "have" a "side" that is "wild" and that you need/want/fail/whatever to "express" by doing things that give you this rush.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:42 AM
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61: Along with being extremely wild I'm also very "just".


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:43 AM
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61.last: I've done that before.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:43 AM
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This all reminds me of a long conversation a friend and I had (while tripping, la la) about whether there really was any such thing as being "edgy" or whether all contenders for such a category were either (a) not actually particularly edgy, or (b) better described as "self indulgent" or "stupid."


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:45 AM
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I do have to get organized to take the kids skiing a couple of times this winter. I love it, and find it as thrilling as I need anything to be, but it's an incredible hassle managing them, given that I'm a kind of terrible skier myself, they have very different skill levels, and Buck doesn't ski.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:45 AM
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"Wild side" makes me thing of movies like Something Wild -- not because of the title so much as the trope of staid person lets loose, discovers their wild side, and becomes happy.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:45 AM
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It also reminds me of how much I loathe descriptions of, say, chocolate as "sinful."


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:45 AM
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65: The rain it raineth on the just,
And also on the unjust fella;
But chiefly on the just, because,
The unjust hath the just's umbrella


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:46 AM
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Maybe I should revise paragraph 2 in the OP to read "3. everyone reads way too much into throwaway lines from a casual conversation."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:46 AM
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I thought about this transgression thing some more while masturbating in the shower.

I can't really give the term a stable meaning. It seems to vary between several uses:

1. That is called transgressive which the caller imagines would freak the squares.
2. That is called transgressive which actually offends decency, but it's done with a wink/on purpose.
3. That is called transgressive which "steps beyond" a social norm. This probably includes the most, including much of which no one in a non-technical mood would say "how transgressive!". (Facing the back of the elevator or having one identity would count.)

Talking about things in 1 (that don't overlap with the things in 2) probably does render them non-transgressive, because in fact the imagined squares wouldn't be freaked by such doings. Talking about things in 2 might also make them seem less transgressive if the talk is done in an abstract enough manner (think of all that pontification about torture and waterboarding, done in sublime detachment from the reality of the things discussed), but they're still offensive. It would be transgressive in the third (and perhaps second also) sense if I were to post on the front page the true names of the regular posters and commenters here, and I don't think talking about that would make it more acceptable to same.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:47 AM
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There's no way that there's a universal nuanced nationwide definition of "wild side" that would support the interpretations of this thread. It's equally plausible that the moms just meant "the things I used to do in my 20s that I'm conventionally supposed to stop doing now that I'm a mom."


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:47 AM
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75

I had only gotten that far before I had to stop my reflections in order to record this morning's muzzle velocity.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:48 AM
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69: I preferred After Hours. Staid person gets swept up into a night of wild adventure, and ends up plastered helplessly inside a sculpture being taken away somewhere in a van.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:48 AM
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Oh, hey, I also hate the notion of "reading too much into" things! Yay! I'm the hatefulest!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:48 AM
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72: Parsing things to the nth degree: Wild!


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:48 AM
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70: It's your lack of repentance over eating the chocolate that will doom you to hell for all of eternity.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:49 AM
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64 see 34!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:49 AM
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@72

I indulge my wild side by getting judgemental about Heebie's circle of acquaintances.

I can feel the adrenaline flowing already.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:49 AM
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74: That's when I start rolling my eyes at them for being posers. Complain about not doing things you used to enjoy, fine, but don't call yourself wild. If there's no risk involved, it's not wild.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:51 AM
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Maybe I should revise paragraph 2 in the OP to read "3. everyone reads way too much into throwaway lines from a casual conversation."

Oh, the old "I think you're reading too much into this" line huh?! DEALBREAKER. (Though actually I do think such things are possible.)


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:51 AM
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64 see 34!

I did, I did! I just felt it needed to be reiterated.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:51 AM
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Though actually I do think such things are possible.

Despite my big talk in 77, so do I.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:53 AM
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There was one goddamn person who used that phrase. I'm sorry she shat all over everybody's otherwise lovely holiday.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:55 AM
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I am now really confused. Isn't microparsing like 90% of the subject of conversations here? It's only OK to overinterpret when you don't like the speaker, maybe.

Reason as agression, analysis means tear apart in Greek, yadda yadda yadda.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:58 AM
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So, we're talking about people who do less fun stuff than they used to. I can sympathize with that.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:58 AM
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If there's no risk involved, it's not wild.

That seems both too limiting and meaningless. Everything we do has some amount of risk.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:59 AM
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Isn't microparsing like 90% of the subject of conversations here?

Oh no! Don't use the word microparsing! Everybody will ride your ass forever and a day!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:59 AM
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There was one goddamn person who used that phrase. I'm sorry she shat all over everybody's otherwise lovely holiday.

I think you're reading the wrong thing into the thread.

There's nothing we love more than getting on our high horses (which are VERY high) about such things, after all. Heebie, don't you see? You've given us the best give you could!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:01 AM
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To be fair to the one person with the one phrase, acting the same way while at Burning Man and not-at Burning Man is generally pretty lame.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:02 AM
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My wife and I have somewhat mismatched sex drives (mine stronger and freakier than hers) and we've talked in a theoretical way about swinging or something like it. But we have a couple of kids and I'm not sure she's at all into it beyond the idea that she wants me to experience pleasure and in theory feels it's possible not to be jealous if it's 'just sex'. I'd like to do it but I love her and the kids and had plenty of sexual variety before I settled down. This whole 'swinging' thing also has lots of potential to be awkward/unpleasant rather than hot.


Posted by: Bill J. Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:03 AM
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66: Wasn't it wild?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:03 AM
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It was just shorthand for an exciting adrenaline rush.

Not only am I constitutionally boring (I'd happily challenge LB for the title of "most averse to anything entertaining") at some point I learned how to carefully use fear responses to help me be productive.

Reading that I was depressed to think that, at this point "adrenaline rush" mostly makes me think of missed deadlines.

(I realize, HG said, "exciting adrenaline rush" but still my reaction was, "I don't want any more adrenaline, I've been running on small amounts of adrenaline at work for far too much of the last eighteen months.")


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:07 AM
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To be fair to the one person with the one phrase, acting the same way while at Burning Man and not-at Burning Man is generally pretty lame.

Depends on the direction of sameness, doesn't it?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:08 AM
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94: I forget. Sometimes I used to go to the mall, but apparently that got blown up.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:09 AM
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To be fair to the one person with the one phrase, acting the same way while at Burning Man and not-at Burning Man is generally pretty lame.

Porky pigger by day, Shirtcocker by night.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:11 AM
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99

This whole 'swinging' thing also has lots of potential to be awkward/unpleasant rather than hot.

The Chinese word for swinging combines the characters for "hot" and "awkward."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:14 AM
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My wife and I have somewhat mismatched sex drives

My spouse has a high sex drive but does not crave variety the way I do. He has said, and I believe him, that he would be happy having sex with just me for the rest of his life. While I'm lusting over random men on the street he doesn't even notice the hot, young women that predominate his workplace.

This whole 'swinging' thing also has lots of potential to be awkward/unpleasant rather than hot.

I really just want one person other than my spouse that I get to have sex with on an occasional basis. The idea of having sex with a lot of other people is not appealing to me.


Posted by: Hillary Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:17 AM
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In the lingo of Burning Man they have 100 words not meaning awkward.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:18 AM
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he doesn't even notice the hot, young women that predominate his workplace

Does he need glasses?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:20 AM
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97: Yes, City Center Mall is no more. Now it's Columbus Commons. They started having the Picnics with the Pops concerts there this past summer.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:20 AM
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99: HAWKWARD! KAAAAW!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:22 AM
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he doesn't even notice the hot, young women that predominate his workplace

As George Costanza says, "Did I need that pointed out for me? What is that going to do for me? How does that help me, to see her? I'm trying to live my life. Don't show me that."


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:26 AM
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||

Available pseud: Oder Der Wickelpudding

|>


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:30 AM
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And while I'm storming off in a huff, let me extend an extra special fuck you to 81.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:31 AM
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I thought about this transgression thing some more while masturbating in the shower.

I hope you weren't thinking about Galina Vishnevskaya, because that's not okay anymore.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:32 AM
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73.3:

I really really love Wolf's Rain. I counted two crucifix symbols in the first episode last night, there is a lot of question about whether Kiba or Cheza are the Christ-figure. It's about these wolves who can pretend to be human, and questing, and mainly about sociopathy at the end of the world. Is sociopathy a word? Are you a sociopath if you will break any rule to help your tribe or pack?

Almost every character in WR, wolves and humans all, is a Determinator and maybe the basic question, very different from a similar question in Neon Genesis Evangelion where Shinji destroys the world out of cowardice and fear, in WR the question is would you willfully and courageously destroy the world to get personal transcendence? Why the fuck not?

Kanno Yoko did the Wolf's Rain soundtrack, hours of music, and oh my fucking god. I worship that lady.

This thread needs to walk on the wild side.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:34 AM
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There's nothing we love more than getting on our high horses (which are VERY high) about such things, after all. Heebie, don't you see? You've given us the best give you could!

Truly! (I'm sorry it has been super irritating for you, though, Heebie.)


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:36 AM
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108: Her temporal coexpiratrix seems a more likely subject, no?


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:36 AM
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I thought sending heebie this would make everything better.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:37 AM
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111: Jenni Rivera? Sure, for me, but neb's tastes are famously idiosyncratic.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:42 AM
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As George Costanza says, "Did I need that pointed out for me? What is that going to do for me? How does that help me, to see her? I'm trying to live my life. Don't show me that."

Tertullian has it that Democritus deliberately blinded himself in old age by staring into the sun.
So as not to suffer the sight of beautiful women he could no longer possess.


Posted by: David Markson | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:43 AM
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Tertullian has it that Democritus deliberately blinded himself in old age by staring into the sun.
So as not to suffer the sight of beautiful women he could no longer possess.

Wild.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:50 AM
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I agree strongly with LB in 47.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:54 AM
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I'm assuming Hillary and Bill are just unrelated presidential pseudonyms and are not actually each other's respective spouses having marriage therapy in this thread?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 10:55 AM
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117: If we can hook them up with each other it'll solve both their problems.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:00 AM
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Oh I didn't see 96. 96: no.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:01 AM
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118: We need to find out if they like piña coladas. (A little too obvious? Too bad.)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:10 AM
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11- Interesting thing for me about sports is that it's not about adrenaline so much as finding situations where muscle reflex takes over and causing a sort of out of body experience- that is, where I do something fairly impressive without thinking about it, and in retrospect felt like I was just watching myself do it. The sports I play- tennis, softball (fielding more so than hitting), hockey, volleyball- all have some part of that reaction element. Sports I don't find at all enjoyable- running, basketball- completely lack it.
I also do a lot more sports now than when I was younger. Whether that's to make up for my complete lack of wildness or whatever we're calling it (aspects of which have been detailed in other threads) who knows.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:12 AM
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114:Tertullian was the peak of Christian ugliness until Savvy came around. Ugggh. I bet he made it up.

Kiba, our protagonist, is an Arctic white wolf totally connected to the moon. Amaterasu the top female Shinto sun-god, also has a white wolf avatar. Whew. Wolves were one of the two Japanese kami animals, the other being the snake. Wolves duh, ate the deer and rabbits that ate the rice seedlings. Early Japanese loved wolves. Which makes Miyazaki in Princess Mononoke disruptive or just a shitbrain treehugger.

There is a case to be made, strong or weak I'm not sure, that Kiba waking up (when? after a billion year sleep?) and entering the Freeze City in search of the Flower Maiden to have her guide him to Paradise (so it was written in legend) sets in motion the events the kill all other wolves, the human race and the world. I don't think Kiba would care. That world, not quite our own, just plan was due for killing. Everybody was ready. The irony of course is that his actions cause the rebirth of a cleaner better world, maybe our own.

The fucking sociopath fascinates me. Not the guy who shoots up the Mall or Leopold and Loeb, but Buddha? Jesus? Napoleon? Or just the Buddhist monks who mummified themselves. Or Nietzsche.

The sociopath often gains a following. I guess that disqualifies me.

More transgression in this thread please. Heebie asked for it.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:12 AM
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I always though liking piña coladas sounded like a personal ad euphemism for blowjobs.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:13 AM
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Gang fights
Fatal strikes
We lie on the wild side
No escape
Murder rape
Doing time on the wild side
A baby cries
A cop dies
A day's pay on the wild side
Wild side
Wild side
Tragic life on the wild side
Wild side
Wild side
Kickin' ass on the Wild Side

WILD SIDE


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:15 AM
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Is it legal to just post lyrics like that without permission?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:18 AM
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It also reminds me of how much I loathe descriptions of, say, chocolate as "sinful."

I like chocolate, but it is sinful. I really am in favor of bringing back gluttony and sloth as the top two sins and knocking lust down to the back of the list.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:18 AM
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Sluttony?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:19 AM
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I really am in favor of bringing back gluttony and sloth as the top two sins and knocking lust down to the back of the list.

Says the single male athlete.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:20 AM
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I am now listening to the Rupert Holmes version of the Pina Colada song. There's no music to speak of-- the "song" is four chords, hardcore punk slowed down. No rhythm or variation as in simple reggae. I had such fond memories of the song, too.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:24 AM
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127 is excellent.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:27 AM
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I was taught that Pride was the top deadly sin. Striking how things can change in 50 years or so...


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:28 AM
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Pride should clearly be number 1, but I feel like people have just chucked greed and gluttony off the list altogether.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:30 AM
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Sloth is not off the list, but is kind of underrated as a sin these days.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:30 AM
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No love for Wrath?


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:32 AM
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I kind of view wrath as a virtue or at least the most kickass of sins, though I probably shouldn't.

Did I mention I went to a church social on one of my kid-free days this week. It was WILD SIDE.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:33 AM
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urple is the best.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:34 AM
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Chocolate is not gluttonous or otherwise sinful in itself. Only the enjoyment (in the sense of "enjoyment" which does not pertain to feelings of pleasure) of chocolate can be sinful. If chocolate is "sinfully delicious", this is, at best, a transferred epithet; what it means is that you, enjoying its deliciousness, will be tempted to sin.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:37 AM
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That seems reasonable.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:38 AM
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...riding a motorcycle too quickly.

That worked for me for decades; it's a good anti-depressant and if one does it fast enough there's little likelihood of pain.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:38 AM
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I really wanted to believe.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:39 AM
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Oh, what Halford hath wrought:

Microsoft also registered a patent recently for technology to allow its Kinect motion sensor to figure out how many people are in front of it then stop playback if it detected more people than the copyright terms allowed.

Source.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:41 AM
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I agree strongly with LB in 47.

I should say that despite or because of having no "wild side" to speak of, I'm more sympathetic to the phrase.

One's life at any given time -- habits, friendships, commitments, schedule, etc . . . will highlight certain parts of ones personality and restrain other parts. It makes sense to want to moments where one can exercise those restrained parts.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:48 AM
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So creepy. Who would agree to have this thing in their home?

[Verizon] has filed patent for a new set-top box technology that can observe what's going on in the room and show viewers advertisements based on what it detects.
To detect the mood of their audience and tailor media content to suit it, the technology would integrate a range of sensors into their products, including thermal imaging cameras, microphones and motion sensors, the 'Daily Mail' reported.

But they'll find a way to sell it, with a month's free service or promises of discounts on products advertised.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:49 AM
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moments where one can exercise those restrained parts

Just don't do it in front of your FiOS box or you'll see ads for nothing but Red Bull and Frederick's of Hollywood.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:50 AM
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"Did I need that pointed out for me? What is that going to do for me? How does that help me, to see her? I'm trying to live my life. Don't show me that."

I want him to fantasize about other women. I always assumed he did but when we last discussed the issue he stated very clearly that, no, I'm pretty much the only woman he thinks about sexually. He doesn't seem to view my desires negatively but he also can't really understand them either.


Posted by: Hillary Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:52 AM
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I'm not sure combing patent applications is a terribly useful way to figure out what technology companies intend to do (or are capable of doing).


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:52 AM
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The time I felt most transgressive in recent years was when I snuck away from the office at lunchtime, strolled over to the bowling alley, bowled three games, and returned to work an hour late and slightly sweaty. I transgressed not only my professional responsibilities, but also my Class.


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:53 AM
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Halford has not responded to 125.

I really miss the freedom to go on long hikes, sometimes multi-day, in national parks n' stuff. Moving to the East Coast made that a lot harder and then having a baby sort of killed it completely. I miss nature, a lot. Does that count as a 'wild side'?


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:53 AM
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Who gets sweaty from bowling? Unless "bowled three games" is also a euphemism.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:56 AM
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But they'll find a way to sell it, with a month's free service or promises of discounts on products advertised.

maybe at first, but I bet soon after they would sell it just by no longer offering any alternative. If you want cable, you'll have the accept the eye.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:57 AM
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Of course, I also miss sex, drugs, and rock n' roll.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:58 AM
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OT:

So, I'm helping kids on Sally's team with college application essays -- the coaches are collecting the essays, and emailing them out to volunteer parents for editing. I gave a kid extended comments a few days ago, and offered to look at the essay again after a rewrite.

He's sent it back to me without having made most of the changes I suggested. This is fine -- it's his application, he should write the essay he wants. But what am I supposed to do in terms of feedback? "I still have the same comments I had last time?"


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:59 AM
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To believe this talk about a "wild side" you need to have a quasi-moral notion of decorum, so that there are things that are wrong to do, but don't cause harm to others. Because these things don't actually hurt anyone, they aren't *that* morally wrong, so you can indulge in them a little. Et viola, you have a "wild side": something that you don't simply enjoy, but enjoy as a guilty pleasure. For some people, cross dressing fits the description perfectly.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:00 PM
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"I still have the same comments I had last time?"

That sounds right.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:00 PM
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It would feel transgressive to have slept 14 hours last night if I wasn't doing it because I have a fever.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:00 PM
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Oh, hey, it's whatsisface with the five/six/whatever axes of morality. So offenses against purity would be harmless expressions of your wild side?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:01 PM
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149: No, "bowled three games" was not a eupnemism, and to compound the transgrissiveness, I did not bowl ironically. I tried to do my best, and did actually perspire a bit (although that may be because it was a long walk from the office and it was Summer).


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:02 PM
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You people are (almost all) so weird.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:08 PM
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149: I bowl three games in time of peace,
And two in time of war.
I bowl three games before I bowl three games,
And then I bowl three more.

That would be Richard Nixon's answer to the OP anyway.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:10 PM
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Lyrics are subject to copyright, but there's nothing wrong with excerpting and quoting lyrics. Even the lyric sites (which clearly are copyright infringing) are basically allowed to exist, because the music publishers, who are the rights holders, have decided there's no real value in shutting them down and they don't pirate off of legitimate sales of anything.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:12 PM
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I did not bowl ironically

I believe you now have the title for your memoirs.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:12 PM
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145: I am immensely curious. This all sounds surprisingly non-fraught; you've talked it out with your husband, you want to have sex with other people, he has no interest but in theory doesn't mind? Or at least isn't upset that it's on your agenda? I'd expect that to be a discussion that would be at the very least extremely tense.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:15 PM
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I'm planning to join my daughter on her AT hike in Mass (I think) if she gets that far. It doesn't count as 'wild side' though because I'm already thinking about the aches and pains derived from carrying stuff and sleeping on the ground.

I might take the afternoon off and go downhill skiing tomorrow though. Does that count? What if there are plenty of rocks and stumps still showing?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:19 PM
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Et viola et violin et violincello.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:19 PM
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Even the lyric sites (which clearly are copyright infringing) are basically allowed to exist, because the music publishers, who are the rights holders, have decided there's no real value in shutting them down and they don't pirate off of legitimate sales of anything.

This refers to the current lyric sites which are all filled with popups and spyware, right? Not the lyric sites of 10 years ago which were run by fans and were shut down by rights holders.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:22 PM
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I want him to fantasize about other women.

Have you tried some kind of Skinnerian training? Every time he stares at other woman, you give him a food pellet or sex.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:23 PM
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I remember that the industry did go after one of the early lyrics sites, I forget the name but it was basically taken over and turned into some kind of attempt at making money from people looking up lyrics which is why it doesn't exist any more. I'm glad to hear they've at least made one rational decision with respect to copyright.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:23 PM
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166.1 was supposed to be in italics.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:24 PM
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165 to 167. The free, cool lyrics sites were obviously taking money out of the pockets of the spyware vendors.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:24 PM
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156: I was trying to avoid using that language, because it has so much theory built into it that no one thinks is salvageable. I just wanted to rely on the idea that people have moral intuitions that aren't harm based, mostly around issues of food and sex.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:25 PM
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162 -- Were I to broach such a topic, my wife would spend the rest of her life as a guest of the state, for double homicide, without regret. The yet greater risk, it seems to me, is that I'm totally certain I wouldn't be able to pull off a purely sexual relationship without bleeding over into excessive emotional involvement. I guess I admire but do not envy the capabilities required to succeed at this project.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:26 PM
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(I also admire but do not envy the capabilities required to be a starting NBA player).


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:28 PM
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Double homicide?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:31 PM
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It means two people were killed.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:32 PM
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The big head and the little.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:32 PM
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156:Whatever happened toWhatshisface

Kevin Drum on Haidt's latest:Liberals are so very wrong

We could talk about the word "wild." The wilderness is not rebelling against culture. This is where the mall shooters and L&L go wrong:it isn't Nietzschean or sociopathic to break the rules. You must be indifferent to the rules. The relation to society can't be broken or clipped; you can't be isolated or autonomous or at least view yourself as such;for this is still a relation. You can't pour old wine into new jars. Shit is all fucked up and shit.

163:Skiing? I got mid-60s and restless dogs. See ya.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:33 PM
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I like Scott H. Biram's Wild Side better than Lou Reed's walk thereupon.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:46 PM
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Actually, I quite like "Take a Walk on the Wild Side." I think it is a song that deserves its ubiquity.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:52 PM
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162: Like I said, the conversation was very theoretical. There was drinking involved and I said something like, "so, I fantasize about having sex with other guys all the time and it is really hard for me imagine only having sex with just you, forever." And his reaction was along the lines of, "huh, that's interesting, I really only ever think about having sex with you and I don't want to be with anyone else but I can understand that you feel differently."

If/when the opportunity to act on my desire to have sex with other people presents itself, I'm not sure how that conversation will go. He may be cool with it or he may totally horrified.


Posted by: Hillary Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:53 PM
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I'd be much cooler with a desire to have sex with random guys picked up off Craigslist than with a desire for something that looks like a parallel (and therefore competing) relationship. I've done the latter and it worked out poorly to say the least.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 12:59 PM
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I think I would worry that the opportunity might present itself in circumstances where placing the opportunity on hold until I could have a thorough conversation (or perhaps series of conversations) with my husband about it might threaten the viability of the opportunity. Which might then make me bitter, if I had been waiting patiently for this perfect opportunity. Which, realizing that up front, would make me highly tempted to just say "fuck it", and partake of the opportunity without having vetted the idea beforehand with my husband. Which of course would be wrong.

All of which would make me want to talk through this maybe in advance more with my spouse, I think, if I were in that situation, and were serious about it, which it sounds like you are.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:01 PM
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BPhD really ought to be here for this conversation.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:02 PM
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I really only ever think about having sex with you

Obviously, I don't know you or your husband from Adam, but I'm going to call bullshit on this unless you married a robot.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:05 PM
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I hope nosflow isn't disappointed that so few have remarked on 73.1/75. I mean, goodness gracious.

I do wonder to what degree posting on unfogged is, for some of us, the expression of our wild sides. I mean, most people are doing this when they're supposed to be working, right? Which makes it a guilty pleasure right there. (All of my pleasures are guilty, of course.) And then there's all that confessional intimacy. Very wild.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:06 PM
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Huh. Not that I know anything about this, I just have a compulsive advisory streak. But if you were serious about maintaining your marriage but still going forward with this, in your shoes I'd try to hash out the details in a "I seriously would like this to happen in a making-concrete-plans kind of way" before you identified a particular partner.

It seems as if it would be way less threatening to hear "I really want to have sex with someone who isn't you; I don't have anyone in mind, but I'd like to work out how it would be okay with you for me to go about this, find someone, etc," than "I've met this guy who I want to have sex with, may I?" The latter sounds much more likely to give rise to thoughts of "Maybe I'm going to leave you, maybe not, we'll see."

(On preview, pwned by people making similar points.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:07 PM
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"huh, that's interesting, I really only ever think about having sex with you and I don't want to be with anyone else but I can understand that you feel differently."

Apo is right--this sounds like he may already be having an affair.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:08 PM
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I think I would worry that the opportunity might present itself in circumstances where placing the opportunity on hold until I could have a thorough conversation (or perhaps series of conversations) with my husband about it might threaten the viability of the opportunity.

Like if I met someone on a work trip or something like that? Yeah, that's possible but it also feels weird to inform my spouse that I absolutely am going to have sex with someone else when I have no idea who that someone else is or when I might meet him.



Posted by: Hillary Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:08 PM
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183: Generally, I'd have the same reaction, but my husband says the same thing. I'm mildly disturbed by this, because if it's not true, than he doesn't feel comfortable talking to me about being attracted to other women, and that seems like a problem. And if it is true, than I feel bad about the fact that, while I don't plan to do anything about it, I'm certainly attracted to other men.


Posted by: Tipper Gore | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:09 PM
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183 gets it right. Saying "I fantasize about women other than you" to one's wife in our society is about as unproblematic as saying "In my lifetime I have murdered 21 human beings, I have committed thousands of burglaries, robberies, larcenies, arsons and, last but not least, I have committed sodomy on more than 1,000 male human beings. For all these things I am not in the least bit sorry." It takes a lot to talk about these things at all honestly.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:11 PM
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Apo is right--this sounds like he may already be having an affair.

I think this is incredibly unlikely but, sure, it's always a possibility. It was a much longer conversation than the distillation I presented here but his general reaction was that he just loves me so much and can't really relate to my desire to be with other people.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:12 PM
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my husband says the same thing

He's lying.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:12 PM
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190 is me, of course.


Posted by: Hillary Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:13 PM
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I know a couple that had a long term successful arrangement that out of town encounters aren't cheating, coupled with a DADT policy regarding such encounters. It worked for them quite well. Might work for Hillary.

182 was my thought, too.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:13 PM
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My wife is receptive to the idea of sex with someone else when she sees it as a chance to give me pleasure without pulling me away from her. Maybe that's common when you're talking about it in the abstract. But then she's like "of course I wouldn't want you to have anything like a girlfriend on the side!", because that I guess would be an emotional threat. I don't think it would necessarily be but I can't blame her for being concerned about that, and I don't really want any girlfriend besides her anyway. Definitely not as removed about it as Hilary's guy though.

(Why is this the first time I ever noticed that William Jefferson Clinton's initials can spell out BJ?)


Posted by: B.J. Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:13 PM
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I don't think 'in our society' works in 189. If you're guessing about how a conversation like that would work out in a randomly selected marriage, that's one thing. But within a specific marriage, where the other party has already made a similar (and even more contrary to gendered norms of acceptable behavior) disclosure, it's at least plausible that you'd expect to get an honest answer.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:14 PM
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It's not that he never thinks about other women. He just doesn't do it nearly as much as I think about other men and he doesn't have a strong desire to act on it.


Posted by: Hillary Clinton | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:15 PM
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141/143/146: I'm not disagreeing with Sifu about patent applications being epiphenomenal to what the companies are actually doing, but still, how ugly.

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by banality, compulsive click-click conformism, toiling over their Macbook Airs to maximize the click-through rates of their start-ups' advertising streams.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:16 PM
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182: Yeah, her input would be interesting. AFAIRecall, she and her husband got into their arrangement without really negotiating it first, through a series of "better to ask forgiveness than permission" events that it turned out neither of them minded much. I would have guessed that that would never, ever work, but I would be wrong about that.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:17 PM
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Some friends have an open relationship, except that the guy cheated (with at least 2 other women, one of whom was the gal's friend) recently. And now the gal has found someone to date, and she keeps rubbing the guy's nose in it. And then last night, she asked me why I thought their relationship was so lousy. I should have answered "Alphabetically, or in order of importance?", but I am a nice person, so I told her to use more "I feel..." statements.

(I'm just going presidential for the fun of it)


Posted by: William Howard Taft | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:19 PM
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Like if I met someone on a work trip or something like that? ... I know a couple that had a long term successful arrangement that out of town encounters aren't cheating, coupled with a DADT policy regarding such encounters

It occurs to me that now that I'm living a few blocks from the main convention center, I ought to troll the nearby bars looking to take advantage of this phenomenon. Apparently the American Society for Cell Biology is about to come to town ... hott!


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:19 PM
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200 was me, oops.

And I didn't mean to have 197.last sounding so holier-than-though. I just had an interview at a we-give-our-product-away-free startup, for fuck's sake, though nothing's going to come of that.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:21 PM
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200: There was a bizarre story on TAL a while back: Programmer meets therapist in Vegas while they're both at separate conventions. It's love at first sight -- they're absolutely head over heels. Within the week in Vegas, they're already thinking about moving in together (they're both from NYC, and if I remember correctly, they lived in the same building but had never met? Or something almost that weird.) They get on different flights to fly back to NYC, and while on her flight, she has a completely unexpected heart attack and dies.

This has nothing to do with the thread -- sex at conventions just brought it to mind.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:24 PM
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Anyone hearing "I want to sleep with someone else" from their partner pretty much ALWAYS knows that, whatever is actually being said, there is at least an ambiguous question about whether the real meaning is "because you're not good enough/our relationship is collapsing otherwise." Even if declarations of reassurance are given in advance and everyone agrees in principle to a totally rational arrangement no one knows what feelings are going to creep up when thoughts are made explicit and put into practice.

At the same time, most people fantasize at least sometimes about sex with someone else, but there's a lot of good sense in not going on about this to one's partner.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:26 PM
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Sex in cars reminds me of the penis-biting-off scene of The World According to Garp.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:26 PM
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I take it you don't have sex in cars often.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:27 PM
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Only parked behind bollards.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:28 PM
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no one knows what feelings are going to creep up when thoughts are made explicit

Standpipe's other other blog is hurt and lonely.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:30 PM
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200: you'd better have your game ready if you want to stand out from the "trolling hotel bars while pretending to be an out of town traveler" pack.

Blume and I spent an entertaining evening once observing a guy try to work that angle. The best was his elaborate excuse for how he had to put the drinks on his credit card instead of his room because it was super complicated figuring out how to expense things later (or some such).


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:34 PM
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Double if I'd identified someone, multiple if I hadn't and she had to guess who I might be interested in might be interested in me.

It seems fair to me to put a sort of threshold on the 'lusts after others' thing. If I apply as much mental energy to thinking about having sex with women A, B, and C as what I do to wondering what I would do if a mysterious billionaire suddenly gave me $100 million, then I wouldn't call it a lie, exactly, to say I don't think about having sex with them.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:34 PM
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208: I don't think anything requires him to pretend to be at the conference.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:36 PM
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patent applications being epiphenomenal to what the companies are actually doing

Epiphenomenal at best. Patent applications are more an indication of what companies would like to prevent other companies from preventing them from doing, at some point, if they want to. Or, alternately, what companies can dream up that might conceivably ever have value for themselves, somebody they can sell the patent to, somebody they can sue, or somebody they can buy. Look into the patent portfolios of any big software company. They will have tons of utterly demented stuff in there.

And honestly, if Microsoft wanted to enable that function in a Kinect game they could do it right now without any trouble. Of course they already know how many people are in the room when you're using a Kinect.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:39 PM
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210: well, I thought the point was to get laid. Honestly admitting he's local will pretty much sink that plan.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:39 PM
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you'd better have your game ready if you want to stand out from the "trolling hotel bars while pretending to be an out of town traveler" pack.

This is a thing? Oh my god I just want to go back to bed and hide from the world forever.

But also what Moby said in 210. Why pretend to be an out-of-towner?


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:39 PM
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Honestly admitting he's local will pretty much sink that plan.

Why? I don't get it.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:40 PM
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212: Wait, why? Couldn't he just do the "I can show you the parts of the city tourists don't see" role?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:41 PM
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Honestly admitting he's local and trawling for out-of-town-and-feeling-footloose conventioneers might sink it, but surely one could pull off a "Huh, you're here for a convention? I just stopped in for a drink after work -- I live here. Gosh, that badge sets off your eyes."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:41 PM
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I don't understand conference sex. I never go to conferences.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:42 PM
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216: "That sure is a nice binder."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:42 PM
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I just stopped in for a drink after work

Well, okay, that part I can't pull off.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:42 PM
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But I can totally see that "We're both on this magical expense-account trip, isolated from our real lives, and those really are nice boots," would probably work better than any version of "I'm a local."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:42 PM
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But it removes the fantasy that you're both here in this place, away from home, and it would never otherwise happen. Not to mention making you wonder if the local is at this particular bar doing this every single weekend.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:43 PM
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If you're drinking at a hotel bar by yourself and you're a local you will get read as super creepy because it will be completely, 100% obvious exactly why you're there. Here, read some instructions.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:43 PM
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The internet really is an awesome source of information.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:44 PM
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Should I read anything into the fact that the google ad there was for SAP?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:45 PM
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I don't understand the subterfuge in 208. He's trying to fool other travelers of the appropriate sex (ToTAS) into thinking he's not from there? Why would they care? Or he's trying to pick up locals, while pretending to be a ToTAS instead of a local because....?


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:46 PM
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I hope nosflow isn't disappointed that so few have remarked on 73.1/75. I mean, goodness gracious.

Am I? A little. But I don't do it for the accolades, you know. You needn't make bashful offerings of remarks for me to know I've improved your mornings, even if only a little.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:46 PM
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I saw what you did there.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:47 PM
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Pwned, I see, but I'm still not sure I get it. The fantasy in 220/221 seems like it would work just fine one-sided.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:49 PM
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225: "I am not here because I am a lonely person who can't get laid by women who he will ever see again. Oh no! I am here, like you, as part of a brief diversion from my regular, upstanding life. Let us bond over our shared dislocation from normality and see where the evening takes us!"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:52 PM
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Speaking of business travel - ok, not much of a transition from the thread - anyone ever file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau or some similar agency? I'm wondering how much work it involves. I'm just trying to get a receipt from a transportation company but I don't live where they're located.

(presidential out of excess caution w/r/t name-location)


Posted by: clark kerr | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:52 PM
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228: only if there's a language barrier.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:53 PM
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The American Society for Cell Biology probably lets foreign people go to their conference.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:55 PM
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I wonder if anyone will ever use "Mark Yudof" as a pseudonym. I sort of hope not.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:55 PM
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Hanging out in hotel bars is a great way to meet overworked guy salesmen from the Midwest, I've found.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:56 PM
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Sex again, huh?

So I am walking down the aisle with V8 and dog treats in my hand carry and I reach down to pick up next item and the lady passing by says:

"Tall Kitchen bags, huh?" and keeps on walking

Damn lady, no fooling you, you had me pegged in one.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:57 PM
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X. might well be interested in an overworked guy.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 1:57 PM
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I don't understand 325 and I'm worried because it's garbage night here.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 2:01 PM
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229 is a satisfactory explanation, though is the signaling really so strong if it's not a hotel bar, but just a normal bar that happens to be close to the convention center? Though I actually have no idea what bars there are around there. Maybe there's no such thing.

236: No, not really. I'm trying to get beyond that 'hooking up with people I'm not attracted to for validation' thing, which basically rules out guys, overworked or not.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 2:02 PM
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This letter by Amelia Earhart is sort of on the topic and fascinating in it's own right.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 2:03 PM
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238: You want Press Club. It's pretty spendy, though (and only does wine). Although I guess there's also the Chieftain.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 2:11 PM
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Thirsty Bear would work, too.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 2:12 PM
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233: Maybe as the recipient of a complaint. Anyway, I was just looking for a non-head-of-state presidential name. No other conclusions should be drawn.


Posted by: fake accen | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 2:23 PM
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Oh well, that was pointless presidentiality anyway.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 2:31 PM
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237:Umm, 235:1 & 4 are snarky commentary, 2 and 3 are simple fact

I don't understand it either, that was the point. I would have said:"Yup tall kitchen bags and drawstring style too! 8 mils thick!" or "Would you like some of mine?" but she was way down the aisle.

This wasn't a bag lady either.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 2:32 PM
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I was afraid buying tall kitchen bags was some sort of socio-demographic marker.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 2:35 PM
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Josh seems awfully knowledgeable about this.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 2:43 PM
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14
Man, I don't even have the energy to do entertaining things that are perfectly unexceptionable and could be done in the street without scaring the horses.

14 sounds like me. I have a mortgage and a new house that needs a lot of little work and a wedding to plan (not like I'm doing most of the work on that, of course), I just recovered from surgery and my fiancée is just starting physical therapy, I've happened on a hobby that is as time-consuming as my concentration allows, and the days are getting shorter. After all that, I barely have enough energy to play cards and watch TV.

As for specifics, I wouldn't mind smoking more pot, but I have few friends these days who do, so the social aspect of it is reduced. I heard a detailed story recently about Burning Man and I loved the idea of taking part in all that sex and drugs, but (a) the practical stuff about it like the camping in the desert isn't up my alley so much, and (b) it's hard to maintain excitement in something I couldn't do before 2014 at the earliest.

As for nonmonogamous sex, I'm happy with the aforementioned fiancée, but I do have a tiny, not-entirely-rational regret that I settled down with her so soon after I, for lack of a better term, learned to date. I mean, there was a long period in which I was single and miserable about it, and a brief period in which I was single and happy about it because I was dating and had brief relationships and was trying new things, and now I'm not single and happy about it, but I kind of wish that "single and happy about it" had lasted longer, just so that I got to enjoy the good parts of that more and experienced more different stuff. Of course, wouldn't trade her for anything, etc.

183
I really only ever think about having sex with you

Obviously, I don't know you or your husband from Adam, but I'm going to call bullshit on this unless you married a robot.

I disagree. Or rather, I'd find it slight restatement of it credible. Like, if he really only ever thinks about sex with her, OK, that might be a medical condition. But if sex with her is the only sex he ever thinks seriously about? Sounds plausible to me. Like, he might watch porn starring pros, or read it about fictional characters, but he figures that that doesn't count because it doesn't involve real humans he's met. And not thinking about sex with real humans you've met sounds imaginable to me. (Still not likely overall, but I wouldn't call bullshit on a complete stranger over it.)


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 3:04 PM
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Longer 191:

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he swears his passion is
Infinite, undying,
Lady, make a note of this--
One of you is lying.

DP


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 4:23 PM
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Ive realized that my previously mentioned thought that speed-dating would be fun has faded ever since it became an actual possibility. Suddenly it doesn't feel like I have time for it. Or the energy.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 4:25 PM
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he doesn't feel comfortable talking to me about being attracted to other women

This seems like the most obvious possibility.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 4:27 PM
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you're both here in this place, away from home, and it would never otherwise happen

Unless they travel enough that it's like "yes, here I am, away from home, just like I typically am 100 days a year..."


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 4:44 PM
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I finally finished reading Pinker's book on the decline of violence. He did an overview of Haidt and other similar moral thinkers and came to the comforting conclusion that all of those other moral bases that liberals don't agree with are just stupid shit that need to be suppressed if society is going to progress. I agree!


Posted by: lemmy caution | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 5:23 PM
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I agree with 250. It's a lot easier to pretend to be a model husband than it is to actually be one.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 5:47 PM
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202: That was John Perry Barlow. He thought that she was a "tech bimbo" but then found out she was a smart, funny psychiatrist. They were engaged when she died.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 5:52 PM
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So Haidt is a "thinker" now.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 6:06 PM
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We all thinkers, in our way.

I liked Haidt's book, though the 'you wouldn't just want vanilla ice cream all the time' argument left something to be desired, there are a lot of interesting things in it.


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 6:23 PM
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Of course, wouldn't trade her for anything, etc.

do you remember to tell her these beautiful things every morning?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 6:25 PM
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253: Hooray.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 6:37 PM
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It always sucks when you go to a hotel bar hoping to meet some pharma sales babe and wake up in bed next to Essear.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 7:05 PM
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According to department rules, I'm not even allowed to take a note pad from a pharma rep.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 7:27 PM
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235: So I am walking down the aisle with V8 and dog treats in my hand

That must've been a hell of a wedding! What was the reception like?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 7:27 PM
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260: Take only pictures, leave only spirochetes.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 7:28 PM
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262 to 261.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 7:42 PM
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I feel the way LB does (" if what you're doing really does risk hurting other people, then it's not charmingly exciting, it's wrong") , but I know lw's comment ("people who have no power in their actual lives relish capriciousness, possibly to the point of cruelty to other people") is true. Nor are those contradictory, now that I look at them.

Love this: "a quasi-moral notion of decorum". It is true, e.g. Laws of Peoples/driving side/truncated binary exponential backoff, that the choice of rules may be arbitrary but behaving properly for your locale is a real virtue.

I keep hearing about this for wild sides. Pisses me off that they go on about feeling like they're in the services without the feeling of actually serving the country, etc. (I don't think our military adventures serve the long-term interest of the country; I think most of the people serving at least start out feeling that they do.)


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 7:42 PM
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Oh, I'm all out of tempo with the blog. But we're mostly packed! Except for, oops, the chopsaw and tool-box.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 7:44 PM
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It always sucks when you go to a hotel bar hoping to meet some pharma sales babe and wake up in bed next to Essear naked in a hallway.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 7:47 PM
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265: Good luck moving and/or serial killing. I can't remember which you are up to.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 7:49 PM
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I don't wish anyone good luck with their serial killing.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 7:54 PM
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It's good that you have a policy about it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:00 PM
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Although the details of the procedure would be more interesting.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:13 PM
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They go together, you know. Ramblin' man gotta move along.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:21 PM
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Long stride on the wild side.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:25 PM
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43: is 170 too fast? Because damn, that's fun.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:32 PM
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Speaking of serial killers.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:35 PM
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He strangled himself to death? That is impressive.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:40 PM
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Well, to be fair, by that point he had a lot of strangling experience.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:42 PM
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Still, that takes some doing. Most people would probably stop strangling themselves after passing out.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:44 PM
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Perhaps he set it up so that gravity kept doing the work after he passed out.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 8:48 PM
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I think what actually happened is that he hanged himself with his bedsheets.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:06 PM
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Hanging yourself in your bedsheets does recruit gravity to the work.

More cheerfully: shaved his leg.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:11 PM
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Also very topical.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 9:19 PM
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I participated in the thing described in the link in 264.last--my friend hectored a bunch of us into joining him--but at least I had the decency to feel vaguely ashamed about it, rather than proud.

And seriously, WTF, "the macho sport of choice for Type A men (and some women) who find marathons too easy"? I've never run a marathon, but I'm sure this was much easier, simply because most people didn't actually run most of the 12 miles.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:08 PM
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Jesus, now that I've actually read the article in 264, I feel even more ashamed. I hate that I gave my money to this enterprise. I mean, training for it really did help my friend get in shape--his girlfriend paid his entrance fee, and called it the best money she'd ever spent--but ugh, I want to strangle every single person in that article. Except that sociology prof, I guess.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:12 PM
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So many terrible lines from that song. So hard to pick just one.

Let me be the first to link to this.

Herschel was shocked when he heard the news.
He couldn't believe that he and Jesus were both Jews
He said, How can we be the same? With his long hair and got a Mexican name?
I said, Hey Hersch take a walk on the kosher side
Hey kid take a walk down Fairfax.



Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:13 PM
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280 is really something. Hin/es nailed that pose.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-13-12 11:29 PM
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Ok, you whiny losers, I'm doing a tough mudder in June (with a cancer survivor friend) so you can all blow me sanctimoniously.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:03 AM
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Reading that article doesn't make you wince even a little, though?


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:14 AM
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I just heard that if I hung out around here long enough there were sanctimonious blow jobs.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:18 AM
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You're half right.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:19 AM
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Except that sociology prof, I guess.

He's the president of the American Men's Studies Association. In a just world, he's the first to die.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:31 AM
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Misandrist.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:32 AM
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Yes. And?


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:37 AM
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Nothing, nothing.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:38 AM
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AMSA's annual conference is in Ann Arbor in April. I wonder if there will be obstacle courses. (Sadly, I'm sure it's just an academic organization like any other academic organization.)


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:42 AM
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287: Reading that article doesn't make you wince even a little, though?

Remember that you're talking to a Crossfit enthusiast.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 4:12 AM
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Happily Sadly, I'm sure it's just an academic organization like any other academic organization.


Posted by: Leo Tolstoy | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 4:14 AM
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x.trap is the second person I've heard use the Ginsberg Howl quote regarding the best minds of his generation being destroyed by making more people click on ads.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 5:39 AM
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290: The life expectancy of Men's Studies leadership is 8 years lower than that of Women's Studies leadership.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 6:16 AM
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While the races draw a fair share of endurance athletes and ex-military, many of the muddiest, most avid, most agro participants hail from Wall Street.

Don't they mean aggro? I hadn't taken these guys for farming types.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 6:26 AM
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Those who practice aggroeconomics.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 6:29 AM
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Ok, you whiny losers, I'm doing a tough mudder in June

So am I! And I won't be hampered by cancer survivors, so my chances are excellent.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 6:56 AM
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I played a set with a band at the finish line of one of these mud races. My biggest complaints were the lack of coffee and the 7am load-in. Who asks a band to be somewhere at 7am? Muddy jerks, that's who.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 7:24 AM
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The Pittsburgh marathon had bands every couple of miles. It was indeed very cheering.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 7:25 AM
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My biggest complaints were the lack of coffee and the 7am load-in. Who asks a band to be somewhere at 7am?

Who asks anyone to be somewhere at 7am without coffee?


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 7:29 AM
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The LDS?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 7:32 AM
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muddiest, most avid, most agro participants ... from Wall Street

That's a phrase that could be replaced without loss with a much shorter four-letter word beginning with 'c'.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 8:28 AM
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Cads? I would call them more "bounders".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 8:29 AM
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305: it is a mark of the Decline of America that no one referred to Mitt Romney as having "done too much LDS in the Sixties".


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 8:44 AM
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Bound around the muddy ground! Like a hound! Make a sound, find five pounds.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 8:46 AM
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quasi-moral notion of decorum

Related to this in a very tangential way, there was a Story Corps interview today with a man who has a type of amnesia (dissociative fugue) that completely wipes out his memory, long term and short term.

It left me wondering, among many other things, what he remembers in terms of decorum, as well as information that he's memorized or skills that he's learned. [Goes off to google.]

Dissociative fugue apparently relates only to identity. The extensive knowledge I've gained in the last 4 minutes doesn't quite square with what this man described in the interview, but of course disorders don't always present in textbook ways.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 9:16 AM
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Don't they mean aggro? I hadn't taken these guys for farming types.

No, it's "agro" as in "sharp, keen"; related to Fr. aigre and derived from Lat. acer.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 9:51 AM
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Rem acu tetigisti.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 9:59 AM
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I used to know a skinhead called 'Aggro' [I think it had its roots in some 'iconic' piece of skinhead poster art in his case, although he was an aggressive little prick, too]. Amusingly his mate was called (to his face) 'N\ o /ss': his name was Ross, but someone had broken his nose, leaving him with a very nasal way of pronouncing his own name.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 10:15 AM
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I knew a guy who was called "Nine Toes" by the guy who cut off (accidentally) what had previously been one of his ten toes.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 10:17 AM
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People had questions when he started calling the guy "ol' rape butt."


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 10:42 AM
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||
I'm sure the cognoscenti are already aware of this, but for those of you who are still ignorant, here's 2012's best Christmas present for everyone on your list: http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/reversible-meat-tenderizer/

(Mostly SFW, if your boss/sysadmin is not too imaginative)
||>


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 11:34 AM
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Who asks anyone to be somewhere at 7am without coffee?

The Aristocrats!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 11:36 AM
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Real question: what's the matter with the item in 316? It's a bit expensive, but I bet a weighted metal tenderizer does work better than the cheapo wooden ones. Is it bourgeois to cook cutlets or something?


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 11:46 AM
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It looks like a robot penis.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 11:50 AM
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And a robot penis is inappropriate for pounding meat, for some reason?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 11:52 AM
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I suppose you'd better wash it well.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 11:54 AM
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Ohh. It has been pointed out to me that perhaps 316 was to point out a certain resemblance borne by the object in question. /standpipe


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 11:55 AM
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I have to say I was extremely disappointed because I expected a reversible meat tenderiser to be a tool which could take a beautiful piece of steak you could cut with a spoon and turn it into something like a discarded military boot. But reality continues to let us down.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 11:57 AM
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You're not the only one disappointed. I was lead to believe it was going to be 12 inches.


Posted by: Opinionated Robot | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:02 PM
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You can already do that to a beautiful piece of steak through the application of lots of heat.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 12:21 PM
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I've never had sex with anyone other than my current partner, for a long list of reasons, the biggest being that I was raised extremely sheltered and fundamentalist, plus I'm introverted. The situation made me feel really bad earlier. Now I still feel a twinge of regret when I consider the lost opportunities, but I'm pretty content with where I am now, so I don't worry about it too much. Hope it's not one of those things that bursts out in a mid-life crisis.


Posted by: Calvin Coolidge | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 7:05 PM
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My daughter and I went to a Mud Run once. She got so excited that she jumped into the final mud pit to crawl to the mud to the finish line.

The announcer and the crowd cheered her on. I had tears in my eyes.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 12-14-12 7:18 PM
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