Re: You'll have to try harder than that, guys.

1

I think the funniest part is the contention that "we do not currently have your e-mail address". Spectacularly incompetnent is not the fundraising image you want to be going for, guys.

Of course, I have assiduously avoided giving out my e-mail address or street address to my alma matter, and my payback for that was that someone in the alumni relations office not only sent me a package, but had UPS back-track from my PO Box number to find my street address (!!) and deliver it (since UPS doesn't deliver to PO Boxes). I was so upset I almost called to complain, but I didn't want the poor woman to lose her job.

I still haven't donated, and doubt I ever will. The only time I give money is for a particular scholarship program with a stand-alone budget.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04-16-13 8:27 PM
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I note that there is no "[sic]" after "scoks".


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 04-16-13 8:33 PM
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The promotion existed---I received the sock promotion email a while back.


Posted by: Ponder Stibbons | Link to this comment | 04-16-13 8:33 PM
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2: I noted the same thing.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-16-13 8:37 PM
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Man why is everyone up in my shee about typos?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-16-13 8:48 PM
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To my great relief, U of C has only my parents' address so I don't have to constantly open envelopes, mutter "I'm currently donating $200 a month to Sallie Mae in your name," and increase the amount of paper I throw out.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04-16-13 8:53 PM
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Some undergraduate called me the other day—yesterday, I think, in fact—to ask me for monie$. Fortunately (in this respect anyway) I was still at work and was able to make an easy escape.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-16-13 8:55 PM
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E-mail is necessarily hyphenated because otherwise people will confuse it with the word for "enamel", or so an old boss of mine asserted.

The University of Chicago sucks, and as I've said before no educational institution has caused, on net, more harm to the world over the last 70 years.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 04-16-13 10:36 PM
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I think Sandhurst could give it a run for its money.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 12:43 AM
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I like the one guy who's main achievement is an affair with Princess Diana. There are worse things to be famous for.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:07 AM
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There's actually (at least) two people who had an affair with her on that list. But the other one is famous in his own right.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 2:09 AM
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9: yes, because all those emirs and sultans and dictators would have been absolutely lovely people if they hadn't done a sixteen-week course at Sandhurst.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 2:12 AM
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The U of C didn't send me email or socks. They must love neb more than me. Sob.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 2:16 AM
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For the first year or three after I graduated, I would donate a little money when I got these things in the mail. Then I decided charitable contributions elsewhere could do a lot more good and I stopped. I mentioned that to my parents once, and they really seemed to disapprove; I think they think I owe the U of C a lot and should be giving back. I feel like there's something faulty about the moral logic of this.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 2:19 AM
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Why am I awake at this hour? It's absurd.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 2:20 AM
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re: 11

A friend of my wife's works (or did work) for him. The one famous in his own right, with the name that also denotes a brand of lager. He (despite coming across as a colossal prick when doing the thing he did that made him famous) was a really decent person to her and her boyfriend. I was quite surprised.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 3:09 AM
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The U of C didn't send me email or socks. They must love neb more than me. Sob.

Maroon slight!


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 3:56 AM
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But come on. We all recognize the ol' sock gambit. Give me the socks first, make me feel as if I owe you something.

I might have plugged this book here before. It was originally written as a neutral or vaguely consumer-oriented description of the psychological tricks behind common marketing and fundraising techniques, but remains in print because the marketers have adopted it as an operating manual. It explains* why you get socks (or, more commonly, return address labels) with fundraising appeals (exploiting the norm of reciprocity), why there's a box to check to donate $10,000, even though no one ever checks that box, why schools pursue low-dollar "participation gifts" that barely cover the cost of soliciting them.

*exploiting the norm of reciprocity, anchoring, and thin end of the wedge, respectively.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 4:52 AM
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I think the funniest part is the contention that "we do not currently have your e-mail address". Spectacularly incompetnent is not the fundraising image you want to be going for, guys.

Eh, I think that sort of thing is pretty common excuse for making contact. The fundraising calls from my undergrad alma mater all start with them claiming to have called just to make sure they still have your correct mailing address. (Like Smearcase, I have managed for them to have only my parents' address.)


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 4:55 AM
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why you get socks (or, more commonly, return address labels) with fundraising appeals

The worst is the dime from the March of Dimes. I hate them anyway, but the stupidity of mailing out fucking dimes just makes me angry.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 4:58 AM
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Inflation.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:18 AM
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I just made my first little $100 donation, but it was to my PhD school. They could use it, and I was contacted personally by the chair, whom I admire. My undergrad/MA school always sends this corporate-looking bullshit that does not tempt me, especially with $40K in debt.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:30 AM
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Also--and this is going to sound really bitchy, and is--if my undergraduate school knows immediately when I moved the past two times, how do they not know I'm Dr. Bear? I've heard worse, of people getting Dear Ms. So-and-so letters from their PhD-granting institution, but come on. If you're stalking me, do a better job.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:32 AM
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I think I remember them warning us about the ol' sock gambit during first year orientation. I expect they'll soon be sending pigeon drop fundraising letters.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:33 AM
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(Harvard has been doing this to a few friends of mine. "Dear Ms. K____, Since you completed your PhD in ____ at Harvard...")


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:33 AM
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I get addressed as "Dr. Hick" all the time, despite it being in no way applicable.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:38 AM
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But not by Harvard.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:38 AM
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8
E-mail is necessarily hyphenated because otherwise people will confuse it with the word for "enamel", or so an old boss of mine asserted.

"Email," or rather, "émail," is the actual word for "enamel" in French. They generally resist English loanwords, but I think the homonymy is going to help this one stick.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:39 AM
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25: There are schools that snobbily reject the "doctor" title, Chicago among them.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:42 AM
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29. Also Oxford and I think Cambridge (England). I have to say that if I have to write to a stranger in an academic environment I address them as "Doctor" by default.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:46 AM
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28: and in German, I vaguely remember from "Schindler's Ark", in which his company was Deutsche Email Fabriken, also known as Emailia.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 5:50 AM
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I only use the "doctor" title in Germany or on flights to Germany. They're pretty title-conscious there, and I figure it can't hurt.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:03 AM
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29: Snobbily rejecting the title is almost as snobby as insisting on the title.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:05 AM
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I should get an "I AM A MASTER" t-shirt for when I get my continuing MA this spring.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:11 AM
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34: Here you go.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:24 AM
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I'm the only Dr. in my family, ever, so perhaps it's a bigger deal to me. (This is also true for my friend who was complaining about the donation request from Harvard.) Also, it's a non-gendered title, which I prefer. My career is far more important to my identity than my genitals are.

I in no way want to be called Dr. Bear in conversation, by anyone. My students use my first name, if I can get them to do so. I'd prefer mail come to my house without a title on it at all. But not Miss or Ms. or Mrs. If I can avoid them, I will.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:24 AM
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WHEN I LEFT YOU I WAS BUT A STUDENT. NOW I HAVE A MASTER'S.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:25 AM
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Man why is everyone up in my shee about typos?

What, you didn't expect scoks jokes?


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:30 AM
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Oh hey, Blume or anyone else who would know -- do I get to be Doktor(in) AND Professor(in) in Germany as an American asst. prof., or is that only for full professors?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:33 AM
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Also--and this is going to sound really bitchy, and is--if my undergraduate school knows immediately when I moved the past two times, how do they not know I'm Dr. Bear? I've heard worse, of people getting Dear Ms. So-and-so letters from their PhD-granting institution, but come on. If you're stalking me, do a better job.

I loathe said school's approaches to fundraising, but I must say it's a lot easier to address-stalk someone than it is to degree-stalk 'em.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:35 AM
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re: 36.1

Yeah, I don't give a shit most of the time, but I get a bit chip-on-shouldery in certain contexts about it, too. I'm the only person in my extended family with any kind of university education at all, I think.

I do use the title on my work email signatures, largely because of being condescended to by snobbish dicks in the past, so I like to pre-empt that.

re: 30

I don't know if that applies any more. I see people using their titles here quite a lot. Of course, particularly in my (former) discipline, quite a few very senior academic figures don't have a doctorate at all. The Bee Phil was seen as quite sufficient.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:36 AM
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Oh, and people who insist on being called "Professor" outside of an academic context should be put down. (Wasn't there some book--DOORMEN or something--about how Columbia profs are so fucking high and mighty because their doormen all flatter them with "Good evening, Professor!" and so forth? It's one of those just-so stories I hate, and the causality is wack, but one can imagine it happening.")


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:41 AM
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Erp. """""


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:41 AM
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36: I'm also the only Dr in the extended family and have a weak preference for use of the title in formal correspondence - it's nice to have some acknowledgment of the fact that I busted my ass to do something genuinely difficult, but overall I'm fine with just Mr. When I had students I preferred to be called Mr (not being a Dr yet). I find it strange and overly familiar to refer to an instructor by their first name (or, god forbid, a nickname).


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:42 AM
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39: You'd probably be Juniorprofessor. I'm not sure when that term started being used; it sounds really ugly.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:43 AM
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You'd probably be Juniorprofessor.

Huh! I had no idea. It is indeed hideous, but on the other hand, the more syllables of junk before you get to my actual name, the more fun.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:45 AM
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I like professor as a title, certainly more than I like doctor. In the US doctor always strikes me as weird for people who aren't medical doctors.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:46 AM
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I believe the rule is that people should be called "professor" in real life if they wear little wire-rim glasses and always carry a paperback in their breast pocket. Hey, professor!

Also if you want to ask them for another word for pirate treasure.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:48 AM
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I've long ago adopted a policy of Not One Penny Ever. They got enough from me as a student.

I still don't understand why lawyers allow their secretaries to put Esq on pleadings.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:49 AM
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In the US doctor always strikes me as weird for people who aren't medical doctors.

Meanwhile, I am enough of a grump/snob/whatever to disapprove of calling medical doctors "doctor" outside of their doctoring context.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:49 AM
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I'm the only Dr. in my family, ever, so perhaps it's a bigger deal to me.

Is this uncommon? I'm trying to think if I have any PhDs in my extended family. I guess actually among my mom's cousins I must. But I'd think that's far more unusual than the reverse.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:51 AM
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re: 50.last

Heh. I can get a bit grumpy about that. Or rather, I've met enough up-their-own-arsehole doctors to resent it in some contexts.

I did have one very self-important doctor who always first-named me, and always referred to himself as Dr.*

'Hi, Matt, I'm Dr Thingie.'
'Hello, Dr Thingie, I'm Dr nattarGcM.'

* it's, of course, normal for medical doctors in a medical context to introduce themselves as Dr Whatever. This particular guy was just a dick about it generally.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:53 AM
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49: The rule I was taught is that you Esq any other lawyer named in something you draft, but never yourself. This makes very little sense to me, but I do it that way.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:54 AM
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52 -- I've mentioned before, I think, the village doctor from my wife's hometown. He's a family friend -- I've never seen him professionally -- and calls me Du and by my first name. Everyone else in the family calls him Sie and Dr, but I just can't bring myself to do so. Rather than create scandal, though, I lapse into English for a few words whenever Sie might be required.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:57 AM
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I like professor as a title, certainly more than I like doctor.

I think of these as very different things. Doctor is a title you earn by getting a PhD, while Professor is a job title.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:58 AM
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52. A friend of mine with a PhD in politics was once sitting on the toilet at a party, when some bloke burst in on her, said "Oh, sorry" and left. And then came right back in and said, "It's all right, I'm a doctor." So she said, "So am I, go away", and he left. And then he came back in a third time and said, "What's your specialism?"

I'm not clear if she ever got to piss.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:59 AM
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53 -- I once had opposing counsel refer to me in oral argument as his "brother at the bar." Maybe it was "in" -- it was surprising.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 6:59 AM
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do I get to be Doktor(in) AND Professor(in) in Germany as an American asst. prof., or is that only for full professors?

No. That title is reserved by law and custom for people who have completed the Habilitation, which is a stage beyond the PhD that requires something like a second dissertation.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:01 AM
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I thought it might be tied to the Habilitation somehow. Thanks!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:02 AM
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||
LB & Smearcase: I just sent you a FB message with a fairly urgent request for assistance from Frowner regarding a legal help question.
||>


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:03 AM
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I thought it might be tied to the Habilitation somehow.

Not that I said so, of course.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:04 AM
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Further to 58: In the event, you would be addressed as "Frau Doktor Professor", and your occupation would be "Professorin"


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:04 AM
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Blume claims that American professors who have tenure can generally call themselves Doktor Professor, so not to worry!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:05 AM
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But I'll never get a crazy Habilitation hat. Woe!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:06 AM
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I have a friend: small, female, very young looking for her age Glaswegian from a Pakistani background. She got her doctorate fairly young - 25 or 26, maybe? She's spent year after year after year being patronized by people who should know better -- being treated like someone's assistant or worse 10 years and dozens of major publications after she finished graduate school. I'm fairly sure that now she's a full Prof (at a European university) she's going to make full use of her title.

'That's Professor Small Brown Scottish Lady to you, fuckwit.'


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:08 AM
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48 - Booty! Booty, that's what it is.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:09 AM
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The Habilitation is dying out, so you can be a professor without completing a Habilitation. It's a job title, like Blume says.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:10 AM
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64: You might be able to get other funky adjectival labels in your title, though, like "Dr.rer. nat." for having earned a doctorate in the natural sciences. But Juniorprofessor would trump that one, I think.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:13 AM
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you can be a professor without completing a Habilitation

Likewise, you can complete a Habilitation without being a professor. Then you get a habil. in your title.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:22 AM
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Who are you going to believe, Blume or Wikipedia?

Häufig entsteht ein Konflikt bei der Führung von akademischen Graden, die von einer Hochschule außerhalb der Europäischen Union vergeben wurden, da die titelführende Person eine Herkunftsangabe mit anführen muss. Geschieht dies nicht, liegt ein Missbrauch von Titeln vor.

Basically, it says that if you acquired your title outside the EU, you can only present yourself with the title if you append the origin of the title, e.g. "Frau Dr. Professor (U.S.A.) Blume Tweety"



Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:22 AM
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You'd probably be Juniorprofessor. I'm not sure when that term started being used; it sounds really ugly.

Also a term with a specific legal meaning, in use since higher education reforms in the early 'aughts.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:28 AM
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Well, anyway, awkwardly, several months ago I checked a "Professor" box when making hotel reservations for an upcoming work trip, so I'll be a fraud. Please don't turn me in!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:29 AM
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The "esq." is so stupid. I lose a bit of respect for lawyers who use it in correspondence, although it's still pretty common.

I've never been able to figure out the German legal system at all but their lawyers do seem to enjoy weird ass titles. I've always just used "Mr" when dealing with a German lawyer because hey we're speaking English and it seems super confusing.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:32 AM
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70: is there any way to read that other than "Achtung! Zis woman is not a real professor, she's foreign!"


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:35 AM
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Geschieht dies nicht, liegt ein Missbrauch von Titeln vor.

Eh, I'm not saying rfts should try to present herself in a German academic environment with all these titles. (I can imagine an utterly offended conference organizer dramatically seizing a nametag back from rfts and scrawling "(U.S.A.)" into the title.) But for something like hotel reservations, yeah sure. It has a lot better chance of getting you increased respect than it would here.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:42 AM
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74: The real target of the law is Germans who have more money and social ambition than they have academic talent, who purchase themselves a Doctor title from the University of Teguchigalpa (example not chose at random - it is a well-known Promotionsmühle).

Honorary consuls are also a thing - which is why you might find (example actually chosen at random) a consulate of Bolivia in Heillbronn.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:43 AM
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So wait, rfts can at least claim to be Frau Doktor ts, though, right?

Also, I enjoyed 17.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:46 AM
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At the international institute in Germany that I was at, definitely full professors from the US were officially "Prof" as far as the institute was concerned. I wasn't sure about tenured associates as the list I happened to see didn't include anyone who I knew was a tenured associate.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:57 AM
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49, 73: "esq." in e-mail signatures makes it easy to find all of the lawyer-related e-mails in a document search, especially where there are lots of lawyers and no one can remember all of the names. This speeds up the privilege review. Doesn't excuse the use in pleadings.


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:01 AM
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I thought there had been a case-- and I thought I learned about it here?-- where an American working as an academic in Germany had actually been prosecuted for using the title "Doktor" despite only having an American PhD. Is that not true?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:06 AM
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Here's an article about it. Looks like most of the charges were dropped.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:09 AM
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I am entertained by the sidebar.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:10 AM
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Ah, it wasn't clear to me whether the claim was that you only get to be "Doktor" after the Habilitation or what.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:15 AM
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To relate this back to the U of C, they like to claim in their promotional literature that all their classes are taught by Ph.D.s, and further claim somewhat that thence derives the disuse of the title "Dr.": everyone (who's teaching you) has one, so it doesn't distinguish between people, or something.

However, I happen to know that they made a play not long ago for (and I think may even have a standing offer open to) a certain eminent philosopher who hails from South Africa and is a comunicipant of our own Moby Hick, and who does not have a Ph.D.

What would have happened had they poached him from his current institution? He wouldn't have been allowed to teach undergrads? They'd drop the promotional claim?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:19 AM
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82: what sidebar?


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:23 AM
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Presumably the recent comments sidebar, currently alternating between "more torture" and "you'll have to try harder than that, guys".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:24 AM
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Ah, right. I thought Eggplant meant a sidebar at the WP article. It has a vaguely Casino Royale sound to it, you're right.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:28 AM
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There was some article in the Chronicle recently lamenting how difficult it is for poor David Graeber to get an academic post, which must obviously be due to his political radicalism--about which, whatever, but the weird thing was, in an article touting his great academic achievements, it kept calling him "Mr. Graeber" over and over and over. Is that because he's a U of C PhD and U of C PhDs call themselves Mr. so they can say they are of the people?


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:32 AM
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So I'll be a felon! Excellent news.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:33 AM
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I think I've mentioned how much I love that the Heebie U Payroll has me down as "Dr. Heebie-Geebie, Phd Phd." I just wouldn't feel respected without all three honorifics.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:34 AM
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89: What's the German honorific for that?


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:39 AM
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Another UChi alum here, with parents and many relatives of that generation also in the same predicament (though they have started to die out...):

Anyway, in re the claim that only PhD's teach classes, that must be up there with the claim about lack of TAs outside of science labs. Anyway, unless Ed Shils was kept out of the classroom, it was certainly not true during much of the postwar period.


Posted by: marcel | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:40 AM
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About the medical doctor thing, yeah, I think it's weird that they talk about themselves as Dr. So-and-so. But aside from vanity, isn't it also an attempt to allay fears that might attend the visit? I am in good hands; s/he's a "real" doctor, etc?

The whole doctor-patient relationship is incredibly awkward for me, and I've never had a doctor I felt comfortable with. The guy who did my cast seems really nice and smart and he did an amazing job making the cast as comfortable as possible. But while doing so he kept talking about trying not to drip anything on my pretty little outfit and hoping I would be a good girl and not get it wet or bang it up too much. I actually stopped him and informed him that I am not actually a child; perhaps he should review my record again. But perhaps it's a way of dealing with adult women that other adult women have found comforting in times of crisis or pain. I would far rather my doctor make zero attempt to empathize with feelings I have not expressed explicitly, but... I have major anxieties about the medical profession, obviously.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:43 AM
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94

So I'll be a felon!

It's technically a "minor criminal offense" (geringfügige Straftat) under German law. (German criminal law doesn't distinguish between misdemeanors and felonies in quite the same way American law does. There is a concept of "Ordungswidrigkeit" that is less grave than "Straftat", but it doesn't map cleanly to the American notion of a misdemeanor.)


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:47 AM
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90. Does the Heebie U Payroll give you the square of your expected salary for the Phd Phd?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:47 AM
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They give me the absolute value of my salary. So the square, square-rooted.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:50 AM
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97

German titles are weird, and Austrians kick it up a notch. (In Austria, having a degree is actually a title and people use it.) I always liked the fact that you could be an aüßerordentlicher Professor - literally an Extraordinary Professor - but that meant you were junior to the ordentlicher Professor, or Ordinary Professor (like a Perfectly Normal Beast in Douglas Adams' works, and basically translates as King for all intents in purposes). also, Dipl-Ing.

Tim Garton Ash recently did a rather good piece about being invited to a conference in Berlin where they couldn't think of a way of handling the fact that he doesn't actually have a higher degree, having never finished the PhD that took him to East Berlin in 1979 and Poland later that year, so he filled in the box as "Mister" and was given a badge with "Herr GARTON ASH Timothy, Mister (Oxford)".

(From which you can infer that he didn't do the Oxford twat thing of picking up and using the gimme Masters.)

Meanwhile, disgraced education minister Annette Schavan ended up being the only professor in Berlin without a degree, because she benefited from a special exception to move straight to her PhD, in order to be able to pursue her student political career, plagiarised most of the thesis...and having had to quit the government and hand back the doctorate, tried to keep the honorary professorship.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:52 AM
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98

...in Catholic theology.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:54 AM
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99

The more I think about it, the only title I want is "Starship Captain."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 8:57 AM
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He could have done the Kipling-babu thing and gone as "Herr GARTON ASH Timothy, DPhil (Oxford) (failed)". Or imitated the authors of 1066 and All That and been "Herr GARTON ASH Timothy, Gent: (Oxford)".


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 9:01 AM
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re: 97

Czechs use degrees as titles, too, sometimes. Someone might be Ing. Smithova (literally, Engineer Smith]. And they distinguish JUDr and MUDr [lawyers and medical doctors], etc.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 9:01 AM
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98: Shouldn't it be an S.T.D. then?


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 9:01 AM
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The more I think about it, the only title I want is "Starship Captain."

Semi-relatedly, one of my favorite TV scenes ever is in the pilot of Freaks and Geeks, when he finally asks the girl if she'll dance with him, halfway through "Come Sail Away".


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 9:03 AM
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disgraced education minister Annette Schavan...plagiarised most of the thesis.

There was a lot of that going around then.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 9:12 AM
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You know what honorific bugs me? "Chef". They say it all the time on the cooking shows and I have heard it used in person as well.


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 11:16 AM
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On Jeopardy last night, I found out that Desmond Tutu, Archbishop of Capetown, likes to be called "Arch".


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 11:24 AM
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You know what honorific bugs me? "Chef". They say it all the time on the cooking shows and I have heard it used in person as well.

You know what honorific bugs me even more? "Coach".


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 12:46 PM
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"Maestro"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 12:53 PM
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"Gruppenführer."


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 12:56 PM
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"Grand Mufti" remains awesome.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:02 PM
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Freaks and Geeks,

Linda Cardellini is a good actress, and is on this season's Mad Men. Nice to see her again, even if in verifying I learn from Wikipedia that she's a fan of Margaret Keane's. Also John Hamm's apparently got an enormous package.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:07 PM
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You know what honorific bugs me even more? "Coach".

What about when it's paired with "Chief"?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:10 PM
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Linda Cardellini is a good actress

Heck, she made Velma much sexier than Daphne!


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:11 PM
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Linda Cardellini

I once sat at a bar waiting for some friends and got into a very nice conversation with a cute woman, also sitting alone. I was single at the time and thought the woman (maybe) seemed interested in me. But I wussed out and didn't try to get any contact information.

My friends showed up, and after we'd left to go to dinner, told me she was Linda Cardellini, an actress on ER. But I didn't watch the show and had no idea who she was at the time. Now of course I do, and so AGGH.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:19 PM
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Heck, she made Velma much sexier than Daphne!

What do you mean? Velma has always been sexier than Daphne.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:29 PM
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What do you mean? Velma has always been sexier than Daphne.

You'll have to try harder than that, guys.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:31 PM
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So, am I the only person who uses the personalized mailing labels without sending any money in to the charity that sent them? My sister was SHOCKED when I told her I do this. I said, "But they'll never know!"


Posted by: Sheila | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:34 PM
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118

Ginger/ Maryanne? Samantha/ Serena? Wilma/ Betty?


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:36 PM
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119

Mr. Roper / Mr. Furley?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:38 PM
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Buffy/Willow


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:40 PM
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120 was me


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:40 PM
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Patsy or Edina? Blanche or Rose? Alice or Flo? V.I. Warshawski or Bubbles Yablonsky?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:46 PM
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117: I do it. It's better than wasting them.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:47 PM
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Rocky or Bullwinkle?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:49 PM
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I don't want to waste the labels, and also figure it's free advertising for the cause (don't use ones I don't agree with).


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:51 PM
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Baroness Ashton/Baroness Vadera?


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:53 PM
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117: I have done that too.

My mother told me that my father would cut off the part of the label that mentioned the organization and use the rest.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:54 PM
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About the medical doctor thing, yeah, I think it's weird that they talk about themselves as Dr. So-and-so. But aside from vanity, isn't it also an attempt to allay fears that might attend the visit? I am in good hands; s/he's a "real" doctor, etc?

The doctors at the new fancy-ass concierge practice I've started going to introduce themselves by their first names. It kinda weirds me out. OTOH they're way more organized than any other medical practice I've been to so I'll deal.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:57 PM
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Marquise de Merteuil/ Madame de Tourvel?


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 1:58 PM
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HODOR/HODOR?


Posted by: OPINIONATED HODOR | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 2:02 PM
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Concierge practice? After your surgery they call you a cab and make reservations for you?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 2:23 PM
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Calling an attorney general or solicitor general "General So-and-so" irritates me, and it seems like it's gone from just a wacky Republican authority-worship thing to a general governmental authority-worship thing.


Posted by: Bave | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 2:33 PM
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I use the labels if they're sufficiently vague. The set currently on my desk seems to have come from March of Dimes, but the're just my address with some random wildlife pictures (fish, bear, moose, eagle, duck).


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 2:38 PM
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There are places I've been where I'm formally referred to as "Attorney Carp" -- USVI certainly, and a couple of others I'm having trouble remembering.

I liked the brother at the bar thing, but haven't been bold enough to use it.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 2:52 PM
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Addressing even current officeholders, let alone former ones, by their titles annoys me.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 3:18 PM
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OT: Weirdest email address ever -- opposing counsel just told me their email was g__l_@commonfreedomain.com . I changed the letters of the alphabet, but that was the structure -- letter, two underscores, letter, underscore @ domain. Strange.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 4:09 PM
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f__u_@commonfreedomain.com


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 4:26 PM
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Sounds like they're from a 19th century novel.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04-17-13 7:43 PM
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Sounds like they're from a 19th century novel.

"In the late spring of the year of grace 20--, a young lady of academic mien could have been observed commenting frantically on a babysplosion thread on the infamous website of U-----.com.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-18-13 3:12 AM
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commonfreedomain.om is available. I might buy it.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 04-18-13 4:01 AM
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Same opposing counsel just told me they couldn't open a Word document -- could I send it in WordPerfect or as a pdf. I'm suspecting a rift into a parallel universe where that's a normal email address and lawyers still use WP.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-18-13 2:56 PM
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I demand Apple Works documents.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-18-13 3:01 PM
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I have a Word Perfect only opposing counsel right now, with an AOL email address.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 04-18-13 3:12 PM
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I just came across the name of a dude on a German map of Namibia c. 1897 with the title of "Premier-Lieutenant Dr."


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:26 AM
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WILL LOTUS ORGANIZER OPEN THESE SO-CALLED "PORTABLE" DOCUMENT FORMATS?


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:35 AM
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That's a lot of police.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:39 AM
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I just remembered that the guy currently visiting our research group for a few weeks is from Georgia. This news must be pretty weird for him.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:43 AM
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Oh, look, I'm commenting in the wrong thread.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:51 AM
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If you were using actual Netscape, you'd be sort of on topic if the topic is defined by recent drift.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:55 AM
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