Re: Fun with quizzes

1

Whereas I click like someone five years older than me.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:34 PM
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2

You've clicked like you were 40 ever since you were a kid, Teo.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:34 PM
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Apparently I, too, am 30. I'd have claimed it was a scam if not for teo, although I guess he may click like a 30-year-old too.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:36 PM
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This had better not be like the site that analyzed the prose style on my blog and said my age was 75-100.


Posted by: lourdes kayak | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:37 PM
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5

2: Heh.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:38 PM
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I click like someone a few years younger than I am.

I wonder if, in the rounds where the greyed-out circles are visible, the order in which the circles become red is supposed to be so predictable.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:40 PM
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Hmmm, so does "30 and female" just mean they could tell I was thinking, "Fuck this shit! The kids are asleep and as soon as I finish this stupid quiz, I can go to bed too!" or is heebie a nicer person than I am?


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:49 PM
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8

Those aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:51 PM
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9

Obviously it was an inclusive or because she is a mathematician and also because I am both not nice and also ready for bed.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:52 PM
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10

30 here as well, and I'll turn 45 this year.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:52 PM
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11

I only have a phone, so I didn't try it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:55 PM
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12

My dad got a 51, while complaining that he had a trackpad and not a mouse, and he's 70. Go Dad.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:56 PM
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13

Try the click thing or being nice.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:56 PM
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14

"Fuck this shit! The kids are asleep and as soon as I finish this stupid quiz, I can go to bed too!" or is heebie a nicer person than I am?

Maybe it means I'll have this damn baby already. I didn't think I'd go three days past due.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:57 PM
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15

You could fine the baby fifty cents a day, like the library does with books.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 8:59 PM
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Hey, since you're all into having four kids, I should email you the profile of the two I called about today because why not have two older than the girls rather than one younger? (And why am I scared of a younger child? etc.) But it doesn't count because the woman in that office was out for the day and also I looked her up on facebook and now it's going to be awkward to talk to her without mentioning all the mutual friends we have who went to her high school. Anyway, you should have a baby and I should go to bed and everyone will be happy, except Mara, who wants me to be the one having a baby.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:01 PM
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17

I can't directly have a baby.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:08 PM
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18

Sure, I like profiles. Are you guys still talking about getting a boy?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:10 PM
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19

15 made me laugh.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:10 PM
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20

15 was laughter pitocin.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:17 PM
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21

I'm apparently 47. I don't like my touchpad, though, and that's my excuse.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:21 PM
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22

Someone linked a "guess what emotion is being expressed by these sets of eyes" quiz on FB, and I did well on that, though. So I'm fumblefingered but empathetic. (All the pictures of women were dripping with eyeliner, to the point that I was wondering if it were a meaningful part of the quiz.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:23 PM
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23

31. Bullshit.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:24 PM
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24

One year off!


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:25 PM
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25

Each previous time, I've gone into labor shortly after midnight. This has given me the impression that I have one shot a day to have this baby, and if I miss it then I'm stuck for 24 more hours.

Also today was Hawaii's birthday and I vaguely thought it'd be cute if they had the same birthday.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:31 PM
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It thinks I'm 46, off by 26 years. I'll be curious to see what happens if I try it in the morning right after the coffee kicks in.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:40 PM
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27

How do you get past the screen with a blue box containing Start! on it? I waited a full minute, but no red circles appeared. The instructions don't mention the Start! box, so I'm stuck. Maybe I'm too old for this.


Posted by: Kaleberg | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:43 PM
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28

I am 10. Apo, did you take breaks? I did not and wonder if that has something to do with the result.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:44 PM
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29

14: Word. False labor is my hobby.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:46 PM
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30

27: Click on the box.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 9:46 PM
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31

28: I took one break, but only because my wife wouldn't stop talking.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 10:13 PM
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32

I am 30 years of age, not bad for a four-drink-Btocked 38-y-o.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 11:24 PM
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33

The drinks were at a party at my neighbor's house. She is lovely, but she is the most "I don't even have a television" person I have ever known.

When I asked her who delivered pizza to my new neighborhood she said "I just make it myself."

Tonight she said to Mrs. K-sky and me, after I complemented her on the welcome-wagon bread she made us and suggested that I might unpack our wedding stand mixer for the purpose of making my own, "No judgment on you guys, but my partner and I don't believe in marriage."

It was sublime. (She did follow that up with the regret that her institutional disavowal meant she'd probably never get a stand mixer.)

(As far as I can tell, she doesn't own a television, but she does have a projector hooked up in her living room. The party included presentations of art videos.)


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 11:30 PM
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34

31: I think that's the key. Take a lot of breaks, you're old. Take very few or none, you're young.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 11:32 PM
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35

32: The booze makes you faster, because you are Dr. Johnny Fever.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 04-19-13 11:34 PM
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36

18: Yes, and I shouldn't be flip about it because of course it's a serious decision, but I'm going to try to get more information about an older sibling group already free for adoption, including a boy. I just think I'm more comfortable with older kids and there's so much more need there, although honestly it's not as if people are climbing all over themselves to care for 4-year-old boys either. We'll see.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 4:07 AM
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29, bitchez! I only took one break, because I kept not realizing the 'take a break' thing was up until after I'd already clicked on the new red dot.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 4:35 AM
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38

30. (I'm 43.) I didn't take any breaks because, blah, let's get this over with.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 5:03 AM
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39

My results said "you're balding, and get out of the basement."


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 5:30 AM
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40

33.3: You need to follow that with a soliloquy adapted from Morgan Freeman's character's thoughts in Shawshank Redemption when he's out of prison and realizes he can't piss without official permission. Except replace urination with sex.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 5:34 AM
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41

It says I'm 53 when I'm 45. I'm going to say that this is because my touchpad is glichy, and not because I am rapidly approaching death.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 6:12 AM
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42

Just in case, replace sex with urination.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 6:14 AM
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43

I got 32, which is one year on the high side. I think the most likely explanation is that, at some point, Count Rugen took a year off my life using The Machine.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 6:16 AM
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44

I got 52 but I have always disliked the touch pad on this thing. With a mouse I feel confident I would have been a boyish 47.

It asked me for comments too soon after making me click on "many hours most days" for how often I am on the computer, so I went with "Oh, my wasted life."


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 7:13 AM
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45

I don't know why it didn't just go ahead and say "you're 52 and live with your two standard poodles in Kankakee. Enjoy the Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman reruns you are obviously going to spend your Saturday night watching!"


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 7:28 AM
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46

I am flabbergasted afresh every time I am reminded that Stanley is older than I am.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 7:45 AM
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47

31: I don't think it's just the breaks. I didn't take any but still scored older than the kids here. It's also speed and perhaps hesitations and overshoots. I'm sure trackpad or mouse performance has a lot to do with it too.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 7:47 AM
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48

It claims I'm 52. I swapped hands halfway through, so I wonder whether my left hand is significantly younger than my right. That would have made for an interesting delivery.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 8:05 AM
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49

It got my age exactly, which was a bit creepy. I'd like to try again with a mouse instead of a trackpad.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 8:14 AM
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50

It thinks I'm 30, which is pretty close. I didn't take any breaks.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 8:15 AM
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51

I cam out as 30, but I was doing it with a squirming baby on my lap at the time. I'm 41. I would have expected to do OK, though, I'm a heavy mouse user.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 8:43 AM
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52

It thinks I'm thirty-four. Hahaha 61, you fool.

I don't think it allows for a stylus, though.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:46 AM
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53

It thinks I'm 46 no matter which mouse I use and if I'm fully caffeinated or not. Interesting considering the proprioception for my right hand has been lousy since the stroke. I'll try the Wacom tablet and stylus later.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 10:09 AM
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54

It says they're doing the study because "We are trying to understand how human motor performance changes with age.", but I assume it's actually a machine-learning project and they're trying to get the back-end software to be able to guess someone's age based on their clicking and pausing behavior. That, of course, is why they ask for your real age at the end.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 10:13 AM
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55

In the future, they can use the technology to keep the young and the young-handed from internet porn and gambling.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 10:47 AM
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56

Age 30 . Which is how I, now in my fifties, think of myself.

I didn't take many breaks (mostly because of must click on red circle reflex) and I used my dominant hand for most of it.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 12:24 PM
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57

It gave me 30 too. Seems like way too many of us are "30" for coincidence.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 12:28 PM
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58

It got my age exactly, which was a bit creepy.

Are you 30?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 12:30 PM
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59

OT: Is shaving your whole head a common thing in European white guys? All of them shaved their heads but the Americans just have bald spots.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 12:46 PM
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60

Moby you must have taken a different quiz.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 1:16 PM
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61

hey guys, I am at the Grilled Cheese Invitational. I just found out I'm supposed to compete in the poetry competition. Can you write me a cheese related poem in the next 4 minutes? I know you can.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 1:56 PM
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62

this is k-sky.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 1:57 PM
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63

If I don't get anything ill go auto complete for "cheese is." or I will freestyle rap.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:05 PM
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64


I have eaten
the cheese
that was in the cheese-hole

and which
you were probably saving
for the cheese course

forgive me
it was delicious
and I am a cartoon mouse


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:08 PM
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65

Cheese is stretchy,
Cheese is nice
Cheese is the last
Temptation of mice.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:09 PM
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66

I think that I shall never see
A cheese as lovely as a tree.
And really, a nest of robins in a cheese would just be regrettable.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:12 PM
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67

65: +Gouda Shave


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:12 PM
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68

Megan!


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:14 PM
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69

That's either a poem nor about cheese, teo.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:15 PM
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70

Some typos hurt.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:15 PM
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71

Prescriptivist.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:19 PM
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72

A cheese should not mean, but be.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:22 PM
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73

I didn't take any breaks and it guess I'm 44. I interpret this result as meaning that the mouse that came with my computer is crap, but I already knew that.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:34 PM
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74

so much depends
upon

a cheddar wheel.
borrow

glazed ham. sprain
ankle.

i hate this
picnic.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 2:53 PM
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75

hey guys, I am at the Grilled Cheese Invitational

This from the man who makes fun of SF.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 3:17 PM
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76

Megan!


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 3:18 PM
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77

75 gets it right.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 3:28 PM
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78

Shouldn't invitations specify things like how many poems you need to bring along with appropriate attire and the like?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 3:28 PM
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79

There must be an outcome by now, right? Fill us in, k-sky!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 3:34 PM
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80

I went with

I must hereby confess and lose this weight that I've been carryin'
I recently found out that cheese is not quite vegetarian
Apparently there is a cow who gets herself dispatched when it
is made, for rennet.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 3:58 PM
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81

Huh, my refresh was all screwed up. I shoulda known you guys wouldna let me down.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 3:59 PM
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82

77: the GCI was started by Mrs. K-sky's Burning Man friends, which is to say, same same.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 4:01 PM
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83

You've got to leave that kind of enjambment and wild line-length variation to the professionals, like Nash.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 4:25 PM
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84

I got 4 years younger than me, and it wasn't 30, but it was close.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 5:27 PM
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85

A cheese should not mean, but be brie.


Posted by: Awl | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 5:28 PM
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86

85: Arrrg, how did I miss that?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 6:05 PM
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87

A cheese delicious
To the gaze
Will never yield
To paraphrase
Burma-Shave.


Posted by: lourdes kayak | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 6:20 PM
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88

I'm 60, and it thinks I'm 38.


Posted by: joel hanes | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 6:58 PM
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89

In real life, cheese is pretty much useless as bait in a traditional mousetrap, but peanut butter is very effective.


Posted by: joel hanes | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 7:01 PM
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90

From FB, an uplifting story of faith:

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From ... GOD ...

Professor: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir ... Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.

I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you'll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won't you?

Forward this to increase their knowledge ... or FAITH.

By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.
Share


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:03 PM
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91

I had no idea until recent threads that so many people are Facebook fans of the email forwards on snopes.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:06 PM
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91: Yeah, me neither. I guess I had already hidden any of my friends that are like that.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:08 PM
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"By the way, the kid was Einstein" is definitely the best part of the one in 90. I wonder at what point someone tacked it on.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:14 PM
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I have to admit, I kind of went looking for it. An acquaintance from high school has a really bizarre FB page that is mostly about kinds of diapers. This is the only post I have ever seen from her that is not either recommending or denouncing some brand of diapers. Her interests include being a mom and being a wife, and being a mother and wife for her family (those are all separate entries). Most of the posts about diapers also talk about her wish that all of her children could stay little babies in diapers for their whole lives.

I'm a little fascinated by her.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:18 PM
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93: Totally. Without the Einstein part, it's shitty, but not shitty enough to share. EINSTEIN.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:19 PM
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96

I went drinking with Europeans for science. Nobody impressed with my ability to count to wheat in French. Probably because of anti-Americanism.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:24 PM
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97

I'm 68 but I say I'm 54.


Posted by: OPINIONATED MAGGIE'S MA | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:29 PM
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98

Right, of course. Einstein, the famous Christian.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:30 PM
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99

I was drinking with a guy who wasn't drinking because drinking is apparently not halal. I'm very multicultural.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:33 PM
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100

And that guy... was EINSTEIN.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:35 PM
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101

The famous Muslim.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:36 PM
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102

Actually, his name is Ali. It's like the muslim version of Bob.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:37 PM
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103

Why did Bob go to the mountain? Because Ali already kicked the shit out of it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:38 PM
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104

But, seriously, counting to wheat in French is pretty good, isn't it?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:45 PM
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105

Un, do, twa, cat, sync, sex, sis, wheat ...


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:48 PM
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106

Goodnight monolingual internets.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 9:58 PM
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107

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

reminds me of a joke about ghosts that also works in German.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 10:28 PM
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108

105 reminds me of a joke about a counting pig.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 10:30 PM
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What's time to a pig? What's time to Einstein? The answer may surprise you.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 11:19 PM
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What's Einstein to me, or he to Hecuba?

90 really is gratifyingly horrible. I think probably so is The Hunger Games, which is now on streaming Netflix, which I just watched half an hour of. I hope two hours from now it turns out to be about Einstein.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04-20-13 11:28 PM
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111

There are lots of versions of 90 going around. I think my favourite is the one where the Christian student is a veteran and former Navy SEAL who wins the argument by going up and punching the professor in the face, to the rapturous approval of the other students.


Posted by: real ffeJ annaH | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 6:16 AM
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112

I think I recognize 90 from a Chick tract, but I don't care to browse through the catalog to confirm my recollection.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 6:28 AM
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113

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Professor: Actually, I have seen my brain. I saw the pictures taken during the exploratory surgery I had last week. Alas, it turns out my brain tumor is inoperable. My wife passed last year, so within six months, by four children under the age of five will all be orphans.

Student: Oh.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 6:37 AM
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114

I have posted pictures of my brain on FB!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 6:48 AM
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115

I have seen pictures of wrenae's brain on Facebook within the past month, even.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 6:49 AM
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116

As far as crappy arguments for the existence of God go, this is right up there with "Fucking magnets, how do they work?"


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 7:10 AM
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117

I've definitely read 90 on FB.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 7:26 AM
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118

That delightful brain argument is the source for a lot of Wittgenstein's best jokes in On Certainty. "Strange coincidence, that every man whose skull has been opened had a brain!"


Posted by: lourdes kayak | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 8:00 AM
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Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Professor: Actually, I have seen my brain. I saw the pictures taken during the exploratory surgery I had last week. Alas, it turns out my brain tumor is inoperable. My wife passed last year, so within six months, by four children under the age of five will all be orphans.

Student: JESUS LOVES YOU!

---

FTFY

111 is so perfectly a sign of our times.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 8:31 AM
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111 is so perfectly a sign of our times.

It really is. While I've been hearing versions of 90 since the late 90s, That particular version in 111 is, I think, only a few years old.


Posted by: real ffeJ annaH | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 8:38 AM
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121

The Navy Seal one seems to date back at least as far as 2004 (link is to my lazy search for excerpt from the version on snopes).


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 9:13 AM
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That delightful brain argument is the source for a lot of Wittgenstein's best jokes in On Certainty. "Strange coincidence, that every man whose skull has been opened had a brain!"

Bah, he totally ripped that one off—in spirit if not in exact text—from Lichtenberg: "He marvelled at the fact that cats had two holes cut in their fur at precisely the spot where their eyes were".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 9:47 AM
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123

||

This is the kind of thing that never gets old on the job.

|>


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 10:50 AM
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124

from Lichtenberg

Do you think? The L is fantastic, and I know W got a lot from him, but it seems to be going after provident-design-of-Nature sentiments, which isn't the same thing as W's point on knowledge.


Posted by: lourdes kayak | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 10:53 AM
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125

123: He loosened it, dangit!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 10:54 AM
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126

124: true. I was just immediately reminded of it.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 10:55 AM
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125: It's pure awesome to see everyone lining up at a door, some guy getting out a ram or a prybar, and then the thoughtful one in the bunch just reaches out and turns the knob and it opens right up. Another favorite is when someone gets a part of their belt caught on top of a chainlink fence and he/she is up there flailing around like a fish.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 11:02 AM
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Hey gswift, a member of flock?

http://missoulian.com/lifestyles/territory/man-uses-robin-hood-defense/article_9093a090-a913-11e2-b794-001a4bcf887a.html


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 11:39 AM
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129

37


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 12:45 PM
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130

In a row?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 12:48 PM
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131

(Perhaps that was uncouth.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 2:01 PM
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132

It says I'm 30.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 7:34 PM
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133

Are you?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 7:39 PM
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134

It said I was 31.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-21-13 7:51 PM
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Hey gswift, a member of flock?

Ha, I remember the BOLO for that guy.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 12:22 AM
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I apparently click like someone 15 years younger than I am. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Also, where's the version of AWB's FB story where the student ends the argument by saying, "Fuck you clown"?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 1:31 AM
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I got 36, which is 6 years young.

Is shaving your whole head a common thing in European white guys?

Shaved bald? No. Cropped very short all over? Yes. The standard haircut for anyone who isn't interested in what his hair looks like.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 5:02 AM
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138

I've definitely read 90 on FB.

I've definitely read ones with the Einstein punchline, though I think they were shorter than 90.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 5:08 AM
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Is shaving your whole head a common thing in European white guys?

Yes, if they're in the army or play rugby. Otherwise, yes, it happens, but not often.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 5:54 AM
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Ugh, today FB friends are reposting some BS from that terrible "I fucking love science" page that ends, "The universe has an interesting sense of irony, in that you are the universe experiencing itself -- All you are is a thought."

Because you know, SCIENCE.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:00 AM
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141

Otherwise, yes, it happens, but not often.

Quite often with middle aged guys who are going bald anyway and decide to finish the job.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:03 AM
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139: These were all European in the continental sense, so I don't think it was rugby. Also, mostly doctors and scientists.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:10 AM
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142: were they evil doctors and scientists? Because shaven heads are totally a thing with those guys. What kind of accents did they have? Any duelling scars?


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:12 AM
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No dueling scars. Related, maybe: German men are the last people on earth to wear sweaters over their shoulders like a little cape.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:14 AM
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145

NO CAPES, DARLING!


Posted by: Ida Mode | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:16 AM
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141 is my reason for shaving my head. I'd prefer to grow my hair really long, but that looks dumb on a balding guy, so shaved it is.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:16 AM
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142: French dudes are pretty into rugby.

Shaving one's head is a common response to balding, I think. More so for black dudes than white dudes, maybe, but very common either way.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:29 AM
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French dudes are pretty into rugby.

I've been surprised by that in Sally's rugby club -- not lots of French guys, but more than none. I guess I'd thought rugby was pretty much all Anglophone.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:31 AM
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There are .37 French guys.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:32 AM
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But, yes, I didn't realize anybody outside the Anglophone world played rugby.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:33 AM
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German men are the last people on earth to wear sweaters over their shoulders like a little cape.

No way man. Italians totally do that.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:33 AM
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148. The 6 Nations competition, the biggest northern hemisphere event in Rugby, includes Wales, Ireland, Scotland, England, France and Italy. Italy joined recently, but France has been involved since forever, and has won it on many occasions. French Rugby is strongest in the south of the country, for some reason.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:34 AM
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... where 'since forever' represents 1910.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:37 AM
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148: they're one of the Six Nations: it's England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, France and Italy. Used to be the Five Nations but they added Italy just to ensure that, however bad Wales and Scotland got, they would still not come last. Mainly from the south-west of France, IIRC - Gascony and so on.

Other than that, you're right, it's fairly anglophone: Australia, New Zealand, Western Samoa, Sith Efrica and so on. Though a friend of mine found himself teaching English to a bunch of Mongolians a few years back, taught them rugby as well, and reported an Airplane!-style untapped reserve of serious rugby potential among Mongols. They played on a tarmac playing area! in temperatures down to minus 20!


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:37 AM
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154.1 got pwned remarkably thoroughly.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:38 AM
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156

Dammit, double pwned.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:40 AM
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153: I remember from law school that there was some specific date in English law before which was officially "time immemorial". (googling...) July 6, 1189 -- coronation of Richard I. I love that.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:41 AM
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I thought rugby was purely Anglophone until I started reading Crooked Timber, which goes crazy over Six Nations . This thread reveals that I'm the only non-British person who reads CT. Busted!


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:42 AM
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In SAS, time immemorial is before January 1, 1960.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:43 AM
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They played on a tarmac playing area!

Heh. Sally's been playing for her club since fall, but her high school is trying to start up a team, and the coach asked her to show up for practice to help educate the other players who'd never seen a rugby ball. They were playing on either concrete or really hardpacked frozen ground, and everyone else was a little hesitant about tackling, but Sally had been well enough indoctrinated to go for it regardless. Halfway through the practice, one of the older boys asked her "So, how long do you have to play before you stop feeling pain?"

(She did carve up her knees something fierce.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:46 AM
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This thread reveals that I'm the only non-British person who reads the sports posts at CT.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:47 AM
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Tell her to reply: "Oh, certainly it hurts. The trick is not minding that it hurts."


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:47 AM
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I don't think she said that to him, but she did say pretty much exactly that to me telling the story. "Of course it hurts, you just do it anyway."

I figure someone in Buck's family must have been tough. God knows where else she gets it from.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 6:52 AM
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I re-took the quiz at work with a mouse and got my actual age of 39. I forgot to free the mouse cord from the edge of the keyboard or I'm certain I would have gotten 30 like the rest of you.

We are having our first fun "stay away from the windows on Church Street because someone left a backpack in a trashcan or something" drill.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 7:03 AM
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Assume a spherical Frenchman.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 7:05 AM
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166

165. Or, if playing Rugby, a prolate spheroidal one.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 7:50 AM
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I got 10, and I'm 26. I'm not sure how to feel about that...


Posted by: Sam M | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 8:46 AM
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I got 10, and I'm 40. Mouse. 2 short breaks (1 of which was to turn on music, which I hadn't thought to do before commencing)

What's funny is that, in the little comment box before they tell you your age, I wrote that I'm an architect, and so mousey skills like these are daily business, but also that I'm quite slow compared to actual CAD operators (who are insanely fast).

I'm surprised no one's discussed neb's observation about the ring of circles. Once I realized that, not only was there a pattern, but also that it wouldn't change at all, I was able to zip through those. Did (pretty much) everyone else as well?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 9:10 AM
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I got 10, and I'm 40. Mouse. 2 short breaks (1 of which was to turn on music, which I hadn't thought to do before commencing)

What's funny is that, in the little comment box before they tell you your age, I wrote that I'm an architect, and so mousey skills like these are daily business, but also that I'm quite slow compared to actual CAD operators (who are insanely fast).

I'm surprised no one's discussed neb's observation about the ring of circles. Once I realized that, not only was there a pattern, but also that it wouldn't change at all, I was able to zip through those. Did (pretty much) everyone else as well?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 9:10 AM
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I don't think she said that to him, but she did say pretty much exactly that to me telling the story. "Of course it hurts, you just do it anyway."

Haha, excellent.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 9:11 AM
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I am also 10 per that quiz - and like Von Wafer in 28, I didn't take breaks. I imagined that that was a, or the, important variable, and I also assumed with nosflow in 54 that the quizzers are being discreet about the actual purpose of the quiz.


Posted by: joyslinger | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 9:15 AM
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If I noticed there was a pattern, I didn't notice consciously - but I would be unsurprised to be told, by some omnipotent observer, that pattern-recognition was helping me somehow.


Posted by: joyslinger | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 9:17 AM
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With a mouse rather than a touchpad, I'm ten. I don't really understand ten as a result -- that is, does being younger mean you're quicker, even outside the adult range, or does ten mean 'You're fumbly in the manner of a child rather than of an aging adult'?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 9:29 AM
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The double-post of 168/9 might argue for the second interpretation.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 9:32 AM
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173: Evaluating my "ten-year-old" clicking alone, and not my breaklessness, I think I got from dot to dot quickly, but I did jitter lightly along each path, and may even have picked up the mouse once or twice - I'm on a tabletop with no pad and skin-to-Formica doesn't go smoothly 100% of the time.


Posted by: joyslinger | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 9:44 AM
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I wonder if there is an even younger point at which one is lightning-fast. I'm so fast, I'm 2 years old.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 10:38 AM
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That suggests that younger is just speed -- if they literally meant that you click like a 2 year old, you'd know that about yourself. It also suggests that their results are oddly calibrated, unless you're really really really really fast.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 10:40 AM
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178

I had to show my son these guys when he started school because his house colour is pink and he has a pink rubgy shirt.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 1:46 PM
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It said I was 31. It is four months off. Not too bad.

OT: Is the main event of the Unfoggedecaconapalooza on Friday night, or Saturday, or what?


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 2:03 PM
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180

I wonder what that test would make of these guys. 200-300 actions per minute.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 04-22-13 11:21 PM
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181

Without following the link in 180, I'm going to guess it's pro Starcraft players.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 04-23-13 5:54 AM
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182

You guessed right!

You win nothing.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 04-23-13 9:53 AM
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141: When I think about finishing the job of going bald, I consider cutting my fucking head off.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 04-23-13 12:41 PM
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133: 26


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 04-23-13 5:00 PM
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