Re: Missing Children

1

You might need an app to tell you when your name/number came up in the housing list. You got to act fast when that happens,


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 10:50 AM
horizontal rule
2

I think things like that have a strong negative effect, in that they encourage parents to be overly fearful for their children. Regular reminders that Your Child Could Be Kidnapped, in spite of the actual rarity of such an event discourage parents from letting their kids from playing outdoors, taking risks, participating in independent activities, and developing the kind of self confidence that they would need to draw on in the event that they ever do actually have to manage their way through Something Bad.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:06 AM
horizontal rule
3

If you are going to let you kids play outside, give them protection against abduction.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:09 AM
horizontal rule
4

2: I fully agree.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:10 AM
horizontal rule
5

3. Yeah. I saw that and decided to hang myself. But a man with a gun saw me and shot me to prevent that happening.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:15 AM
horizontal rule
6

When I was a kid we just had air rifles that shot BBs. Not sure why the youngsters need actual bullets these days.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:17 AM
horizontal rule
7

Also, when I got a BB gun, I was not 5 years old.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:21 AM
horizontal rule
8

When I was 5 years old I wasn't even allowed to use a water pistol without supervision.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:27 AM
horizontal rule
9

2: I fully agree.

I think the media hype is doing a lot more work on perpetuating those fears. How many alerts have you actually received on your cell in the last two years?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:28 AM
horizontal rule
10

When I was 5 years old I wasn't even allowed to use a water pistol without supervision.

The supervision is the real mind boggling part of the story here. I shot .22's when I was a kid with my dad, in Boy Scouts, etc. at little ranges or in the woods. But letting a fucking five year old wander the house unsupervised with a firearm is obviously hugely irresponsible and apparently this family had to learn that lesson with a dead kid.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:34 AM
horizontal rule
11

9: I had my phone for about a week before getting one. That's not long.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:35 AM
horizontal rule
12

And now the feature is disabled, so I will not be finding out how frequent such things are. But it's pretty common to see the highway signs.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:35 AM
horizontal rule
13

Future iterations of the Amber alert system will notify everyone's cell phone in the area if you lose line-of-sight contact with your child for more than five seconds.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:37 AM
horizontal rule
14

Friends report house-hunting on the bench here and walking through a house that had a presumably loaded gun in every room. This is a neighborhood where one does not need to lock the doors. Idiots.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:39 AM
horizontal rule
15

Can someone explain the OP to me?


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:42 AM
horizontal rule
16

10: It really is bizarre. I mean, I've known people who were fairly casual about their gun storage, but leaving a loaded rifle propped up against the living room wall and leaving your 2 and 5 year old kids there alone? W. the F. indeed.

As to the Amber Alerts, I just saw a FB post from a friend about her adolescent cousin going missing, apparently in the company of the cousin's mom's dangerous loser ex boyfriend. I certainly hope everything works out, but it is one of those cases that sends my middle-class antennae up. A bit too Southern Gothic for my tastes -- I thought this snow-in-May business was supposed to keep the riff-raff out.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:43 AM
horizontal rule
17

14: Wouldn't it be more convenient to house-hunt from their chambers?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:45 AM
horizontal rule
18

15: An Amber Alert is an alert that a child has been kidnapped.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:45 AM
horizontal rule
19

I just realized that I have no idea if Amber Alerts are so-called because the law got its name from a girl called Amber or because the highway signs that show them are amber. I think I've wondered about this before, but if I learned the answer I've forgotten.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:49 AM
horizontal rule
20

It's somehow related to the National Center for Missing And Exploited Children, which, despite the name, is not a temporary employment agency.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:49 AM
horizontal rule
21

Friends report house-hunting on the bench here and walking through a house that had a presumably loaded gun in every room.

In Soviet Russia, house hunts you!


Posted by: MAE | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:50 AM
horizontal rule
22

I think it was a girl named Amber.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:51 AM
horizontal rule
23

Child Rescue Alert, seems to be the UK equivalent.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:54 AM
horizontal rule
24

But it contributes to the dangerous notion that naming your kids after colors makes them easy prey for kidnappers.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:54 AM
horizontal rule
25

Ugh, yes. An abducted-and-murdered little girl from TX. They've made it a fake acronym too: America's Missing: Broadcasting Emergency Response.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:55 AM
horizontal rule
26

||

A FB meme is giving me a slight heart attack, with the sheer density of conservative tropes that it packs. But it's a little too lengthy to re-post here, probably.

|>


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:57 AM
horizontal rule
27

26: Never.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:57 AM
horizontal rule
28

A naive subject would assume that an Amber Alert was just a low alert level - lower than Red Alert and likely than Black too.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:58 AM
horizontal rule
29

I don't think I have this iPhone feature. Weird?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:59 AM
horizontal rule
30

Ok then!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 11:59 AM
horizontal rule
31

||

Very long and painful:

Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy:

If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If you have to get your parents' permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If, in the nation's largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If an 80-year-old woman or a three-year-old girl who is confined to a wheelchair can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is "cute," but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion, while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If the government's plan for getting people back to work is to provide incentives for not working, by granting 99 weeks of unemployment checks, without any requirement to prove that gainful employment was diligently sought, but couldn't be found -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more "safe" according to the government -- you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

What a country!

How about we give God a reason to continue blessing America!

Aaaaaack.

|>


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:00 PM
horizontal rule
32

See, there is also Silver Alert -- which seems to be the license plates of cars sought by the police.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:00 PM
horizontal rule
33

I don't even know where to start with that meme.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:02 PM
horizontal rule
34

32: Not missing old people? I do sometimes see alerts for the elderly, presumably with dementia.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:03 PM
horizontal rule
35

Evidently a collaboration between Jeff Foxworthy and Yakov Smirnoff.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:04 PM
horizontal rule
36

Why didn't Obama give me a free cell phone?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:04 PM
horizontal rule
37

But it's pretty common to see the highway signs.

Huh, not common here. I wonder why that is. Maybe a broader definition of kidnapping? Claims of kidnapping that are really just bog standard custody disputes are a regular occurrence. I had one last week where biological mom is in prison and bio dad's been in jail and the kid's been with crackhead maternal grandma (I wish I could say this type of call is rare). Dad came over to "visit" the kid and then took off with her. Naturally everyone's running around screaming "kidnap" but of course there's no divorce decree, custody agreement, or court issued paperwork of any kind and everyone then proceeds to lose their shit Jerry Springer style when they're told the cops will be doing absolutely nothing. A literal convicted felon crack smoking grandma is yelling at me that Dad can't have the kid because he just got out of jail and self awareness sinks to a new low when they manage to get mom on the phone from prison while I'm there. If grandma smoked less crack she might be able to comprehend that legal guardianship is something assigned by courts rather than "your druggie daughter dumped a kid with you before she got sentenced." While this is going on a future civic leader with neck tattoos is screaming into the phone with mom that "the cop is refusing to talk with you" and then pauses to yell at me that "SHE SAYS HE'S NOT THE REAL FATHER". My amazing powers of police observation kick in and I point out that it might be a tad late to make that claim since she gave the kid his last name.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:08 PM
horizontal rule
38

36: They only give them to illegal immigrants.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:11 PM
horizontal rule
39

Claims of kidnapping that are really just bog standard custody disputes are a regular occurrence.

This is my working assumption with most of these alerts.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:11 PM
horizontal rule
40

Also, I've said this before, but Gswift, I don't really understand how you keep from sinking into despair or misanthropy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:13 PM
horizontal rule
41

Friends report house-hunting on the bench here and walking through a house that had a presumably loaded gun in every room.

People's home invasion robbery fears are out of control. I work the busiest jurisdiction in the state and in five years I've yet to go on a home invasion that wasn't drug or gang related. I usually have a handgun within reach at home but we do in fact get threats and jailhouse recordings from time to time regarding retaliation.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:13 PM
horizontal rule
42

40: How would you notice if he sank into misanthropy?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:15 PM
horizontal rule
43

||

David Brooks is coming to speak at Heebie U next year.

|>


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:19 PM
horizontal rule
44

Anyway, I keep trigger locks on my guns, but I'm not entirely sure where the key is. Neither of them has been fired in decades.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:20 PM
horizontal rule
45

Along with personal disshevelment, the misanthrope is distinguished by his lackluster diction and inconsistent grammar, and gswift's 37 may as well be wearing a bolo tie with a geode slice neckslide.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:20 PM
horizontal rule
46

I don't think I have this feature on my iPhone either. I just got it in January, and the OS is updated. Is this an AT&T vs. Verizon thing? I have AT&T. I found some AT&T forum that says they're rolling out support for the alerts gradually in different zip codes, but I don't even have the thing to turn it on in my settings.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:23 PM
horizontal rule
47

||

Penny Pritzker should not be confirmed as Commerce Sectretary. Sorry, Obama, bad move.

|>


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:24 PM
horizontal rule
48

Secretary, that is.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:24 PM
horizontal rule
49
Also it annoys me that they don't follow up and let you know when (if) they found the kid.

The Verizon FAQ about these alerts says they're supposed to send you a follow-up text when each alert is over. So maybe it's just that none of the kids got found before you disabled it?


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:25 PM
horizontal rule
50

We have T-Mobile. Under settings, notifications, the very last bit is called "Government Alerts", and it's there.

And true, I would have missed a follow up text. But is ending the alert the same as being informed about the status of the kid? Unclear.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:27 PM
horizontal rule
51

I don't really understand how you keep from sinking into despair or misanthropy.

BOOZE AND NOT GIVING A SHIT. But yeah, I think if you're the wrong personality type or have poor stress coping mechanisms then the job will definitely grind you down. You do what you can, shrug it off, and don't take that shit home.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:41 PM
horizontal rule
52

may as well be wearing a bolo tie with a geode slice neckslide...as I sit here in sweats trying to work up the will to go to the gym.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:43 PM
horizontal rule
53

NOT GIVING A SHIT

Almost all the public school teachers I know who've stayed on the job for 10+ years basically do not give a flying fuck anymore. I think they're good teachers - I think they used to care, and know what to do to be basically good and so they do it, because you might as well - but they do not give a shit at the end of the day. I think it's probably for the best.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:46 PM
horizontal rule
54

||

The ultimate fixie ad.

If you're the last to know, sorry for party rocking. Read "The World Is Flat." Form an opinion. Joint the dialog. By the way, the book is like 12 years old so this shouldn't be news. Shit's fucked up, but we didn't start the fire. No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it. Now buy this bitchin' ass bike.

|>


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 12:53 PM
horizontal rule
55

If one were to write a parody* of "We Didn't Start the Fire" for Gen Xers, what would be first line be referencing?

*Obviously, since I have mentioned it, at least one must already exist on the internet somewhere.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:05 PM
horizontal rule
56

41: So, not to give you a hard time, but just because I do remember almost all of the archives --

Back when you delurked on the gun thread, you said something about how you had direct experience of how useful guns were for home defense, in that your wife had been home alone when someone broke into your house and had been glad to have a gun with her? That story sounded as if it might have been slightly inflated for argumentative purposes -- do you recall what you were talking about?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:13 PM
horizontal rule
57

55: I'm familiar with a parody titled "Pet Names for Genitalia." There's nothing particularly generational about it, though. Also, reading the lyrics of "We Didn't Start the Fire," it seems to refer to current events from right after WWII - as in, too early for Baby Boomers to have personal memories of - all the way to the mid-eighties, long after their formative years. So the first Gen X version would star halfway through the real version.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:20 PM
horizontal rule
58

56: I think you're thinking of this account, and it was actually before she ever learned to shoot.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:22 PM
horizontal rule
59

But still a home invasion. So it does happen sometimes.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:23 PM
horizontal rule
60

Especially in Belgium in 1914.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:25 PM
horizontal rule
61

And that wasn't a home invasion, it was a totally typical mid day burglary. He'd knocked first as they usually do and because I was at work and she didn't see a familiar car in the street or anything she assumed it was a door to door salesman and didn't answer the door. Which he naturally took as "no one is home" and proceed to go around back and kick the glass out of the downstairs window.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:25 PM
horizontal rule
62

"Home invasion" means a robbery when the person's home, and typically they know the person's home and they need them to open the safe, show them where the drugs and/or money are hidden, etc.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:27 PM
horizontal rule
63

If one were to write a parody* of "We Didn't Start the Fire" for Gen Xers

Wikipedia mentions Wii Didn't Start the Fire.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:27 PM
horizontal rule
64

Teach your wife to shoot, then drink.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:30 PM
horizontal rule
65

And the typical burg MO is why "don't answer the door" isn't good advice for your kid when they're home alone. They're much better off saying something through the door and lying about a parent taking a nap or being in the shower or something.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:30 PM
horizontal rule
66

Booze, guns, and being named "Wanko" surely all come together to make you fated for something like 64.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:32 PM
horizontal rule
67

Please tell me William Wanko went by "Willie".


Posted by: MAE | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:38 PM
horizontal rule
68

33: "And if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle. So what? You do know how dishonest that list is, right?"

I mean, I'm not saying that that approach would actually change any minds, and I personally would probably just ignore the meme and minimize contact with the people sharing it, but if you want to engage it, so many of the things it says are so plainly wrong that you should be able to pound on the facts, as lawyers say, for a very long time. (The logic behind unemployment benefits is not to encourage people to get back to work but to prevent complete disaster in the meantime, and most similar explanations of reasoning are just as ridiculous, for example.)

66: Even better: Willie Wanko.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:40 PM
horizontal rule
69

57 gets it right.

I was going to compose an answer, but was astonished to find that Billy Joel was only born in 1949. Billy Joel is younger than my dad? I thought he was like ... wait ... Tom Waits is ALSO younger than my dad. In fact, Tom Waits is younger than Billy Joel.

I guess my dad has aged pretty well.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:42 PM
horizontal rule
70

The Gen X version should start with Gerald Ford falling down the stairs of Air Force 1.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 1:45 PM
horizontal rule
71

Gen X version starts with the Watergate break-in.


Posted by: RMN | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 2:19 PM
horizontal rule
72

It's the Cell Broadcast feature in GSM and its kid UMTS and grandkid LTE. Lets you broadcast-message everyone in a given cell, or just everyone, via the super-priority signalling channel. This was originally meant to be a big feature, and someone (at Airwide Solutions in Reading in 1991) noticed that point-to-point text might be worth having - hence SMS.

Basically all GSM-heritage mobes have some options deep in the config menus for subscribing to broadcast "channels", but there aren't any.

The obvious thing to do with it is some kind of public service notification, and after all the GSM designers were living in the cold war. China Mobile are really proud of their infrastructure for this - they reckon they can deliver a message to everyone in Beijing in 10 seconds. You might wonder what the message would be.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 2:21 PM
horizontal rule
73

The only time I ever got a text message from a stranger was from Puff Daddy's "Vote or Die" campaign. Do other people get a lot of generalized alerts?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 2:23 PM
horizontal rule
74

My phone doesn't give me any alerts either. I also have AT&T.

When I worked at Pri/nceton they had a wonderful system that would text, call, and email me multiple times, at like five in the morning, if they decided to close the university due to snow or whatever. Ditto for, like, someone being spotted with a toy gun on campus at 2 in the morning. Thanks for waking me up! And then texting me! And then calling again! And filling my inbox! Very helpful.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 2:27 PM
horizontal rule
75

Gen X version starts with the Watergate break-in.

Not ironic enough.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 2:32 PM
horizontal rule
76

74: During a recent spate of bomb threats, I had to unsubscribe to all that. It was just too much. It was a call to my office, text to my cell, and message to my email.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 2:35 PM
horizontal rule
77

Of course you can just hook up Twilio these days and chuck notifications at their REST API, and that'll work in peacetime.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 2:40 PM
horizontal rule
78

message to everyone in Beijing in 10 seconds. You might wonder what the message would be.

Dance mob. Is Beijing still covered by public loudspeakers? (Berkeley is, to my surprise.)


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 3:22 PM
horizontal rule
79

I mentioned in another thread the other day when I got an Amber alert on my droid (Verizon). Non-custodial dad and his gf had taken 1 year old from his home 120 miles due north, and were headed due west from there. Found some hours later 500 miles away -- where the dad and gf live.

Seems like you're really going to get a Crying Wolf thing going.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 3:41 PM
horizontal rule
80

75: There is no "I" in "irony."


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 4:22 PM
horizontal rule
81

69- Yes, the song starts the year he was born (referenced in another song on the album, "I was born in '49, a cold war kid in McCarthy time.") He decided it was too long and lumped all the 70s and 80s into one verse. He also said he had to get the damn song out before more crap happened- the last line used to be "poison apples in the store" but then they (Alar apples) were quickly recalled, then Tiananmen square happened and he subbed in that line, and he said fuck it, no more history.
3 et al.: Yeah, thank god those kids can't get emergency contraception, though, who knows how dangerous that could be.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 5:01 PM
horizontal rule
82

'89 did have a crapload of history.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 6:16 PM
horizontal rule
83

74.2: I just got a new phone but am maintaining the old phone for a while so I have two cell numbers in my employee directory entry. A couple of days ago, they did a test alert and I got:

1. an email at my work account
2. a loud alarm in the building saying this was a test
3. voice mail on both phones saying it was a test
4. text messages on both phones saying it was a test


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 6:36 PM
horizontal rule
84

I'd think the first verse of the Gen X version would be the cancellation of The Facts of Life.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 6:52 PM
horizontal rule
85

Which brings us back to George Clooney, I think.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 6:55 PM
horizontal rule
86

And Mackenzie Astin.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 7:01 PM
horizontal rule
87

I don't even know who that is.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 7:07 PM
horizontal rule
88

Viggo Morteson was in Silly Dragon Movie with Mackenzie Astin who was in Facts of Life with George Clooney who was in Ocean's Eleven with Julia Roberts who was in Flatliners with Kevin Bacon.

Ugh except that was Sean Astin. So close.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 8:33 PM
horizontal rule
89

I saw that movie and he really looked like Julia Roberts.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 8:37 PM
horizontal rule
90

Oracle of Bacon says there are several 2 degree paths from Viggo to Bacon.
My Erdös number is 3. I just need to get in some movie to get a finite Bacon number.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 3-13 9:07 PM
horizontal rule
91

40: I am more amazed that he manages to keep a straight face.
90: I h ave no Erdos number and my Bacon number is 3. Let's make a deal here...


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 12:14 AM
horizontal rule
92

90: That shouldn't be too difficult. Of the relatively small number of local actor types I know who have appeared in feature films, one has a Bacon Number of 2 and several have 3s.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 12:25 AM
horizontal rule
93

My Bacon number is 4 [assuming plays count, someone I acted with in a play is a film actor, and has a Bacon no. of 3]. Gah. Ajay trumps me.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 2:00 AM
horizontal rule
94

My Erdos number is 2.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 6:02 AM
horizontal rule
95

That Oracle thing is cool, and you can do it with anyone, not just Bacon.

How long before there's one that allows ordinary folk -- even those of us who've never taken fencing -- to be linked to other ordinary folk, though all the varieties of ways we connect? I guess there was a Facebook app for some kind of Six Degrees thing . . .


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 6:37 AM
horizontal rule
96

I was in a play with Kevin Bacon's niece, so I'm claiming two degrees of Kevin Bacon.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 8:29 AM
horizontal rule
97

I don't think anybody gets into science for any reason other than to get a good Edros-Bacon number.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 8:32 AM
horizontal rule
98

If you use the relaxed settings (allowing awards shows) and believe the imdb credit for me that I'm pretty sure I don't believe I have a Bacon number of 2.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 8:34 AM
horizontal rule
99

I need to figure out how close I am to a Nobel laureate. The 2011 award helped a lot with the possibility of these connections, though there might be one to Zinkernagel as well.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:46 AM
horizontal rule
100

40: I am more amazed that he manages to keep a straight face.

I've got a buddy who makes this a challenge. I'll put one of my favorite pics of him in the pic pool.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 11:21 AM
horizontal rule
101

Do posters count or just publications? If posters my number is 2.
My distance to a Nobel laureate is also 2.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 1:25 PM
horizontal rule
102

Posters never count.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 1:34 PM
horizontal rule
103

Posters never count.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 1:35 PM
horizontal rule
104

37: It occurs to me that I've never experienced the real [state where gswift swifts], thank Jesus neck-tattooed Christ.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 1:48 PM
horizontal rule
105

104: I think the one you've experienced is actually conventionally considered the real one as opposed to his.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 2:18 PM
horizontal rule
106

If posters count I might have an Erdos number. If not I definitely don't.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 2:19 PM
horizontal rule
107

What's distance to a Nobel laureate? Is that also calculated from publications?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 2:21 PM
horizontal rule
108

My Erdös number is 4 and unlikely to ever get lower. My distance to a Nobel Laureate is at most 4; I'd have to think about whether there's a shorter chain.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 2:39 PM
horizontal rule
109

Or I guess I could measure the physical distance from my office to Glau/ber's.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 2:40 PM
horizontal rule
110

107: Euclidean distance.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 2:40 PM
horizontal rule
111

So run out and hug a Nobel laureate near you.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 2:42 PM
horizontal rule
112

Pwned by 109...


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 2:42 PM
horizontal rule
113

My distance to a Nobel Laureate is at most 4 depending what you count as a Nobel and assuming posters count.

Boy did typing that make me feel lame.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 2:49 PM
horizontal rule
114

Surprised by this mention of posters. In my field a paper usually has at least four authors, often two digits, and a poster is usually two or three.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:17 PM
horizontal rule
115

I'm mentioning posters because I haven't published any papers yet, to make that excruciatingly clear.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:21 PM
horizontal rule
116

I skied a run with a Nobel laureate. He was pretty good.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:27 PM
horizontal rule
117

Got it down to three! Now I really need to publish a paper!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:31 PM
horizontal rule
118

"Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Unfogged"


Posted by: Kreskin | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:43 PM
horizontal rule
119

I don't even know how you find your Erdos number when you don't know any mathematics people. I need to know who links mathy people to doctors.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:43 PM
horizontal rule
120

I don't even know how you find your Erdos number when you don't know any mathematics people. I need to know who links mathy people to doctors.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:44 PM
horizontal rule
121

I need to know who links mathy people to doctors.

Biophysicists?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:44 PM
horizontal rule
122

The other day, the Amber alert thing broke into my TV viewing and popped up on my phone. But the only info it gave read that there was a missing child. Somewhere.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:45 PM
horizontal rule
123

I am not doing well at this new tablet.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:47 PM
horizontal rule
124

Aha! I found a path! If posters count Erdos number of... seven, I think.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 3:56 PM
horizontal rule
125

Needless to say, I'm dicking around with finding these various numbers because I should, in fact, be writing a paper right now. Not the good kind that gets me meaningless numbers, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 4:23 PM
horizontal rule
126

Colin Firth has an Erdos-Bacon number of 7. That's pretty good.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 4:30 PM
horizontal rule
127

120- Eric Lander.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 4:35 PM
horizontal rule
128

Oh wait, it's 6. That's even better!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 4:36 PM
horizontal rule
129

No, no, 7. Never mind.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 4:36 PM
horizontal rule
130

I am so pleased I found the Erdos links to my field. Two really solid ones, at least.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 4:37 PM
horizontal rule
131

Further to 127- He has an Erdös number of 1, and he was coauthor with a bajillion biologists on the human genome papers.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 4:50 PM
horizontal rule
132

131: I see that. Because I was important things to do right now, I'm certainly not a PubMed Central doing combined author searches with his name and the names of people I've worked with. That would be pointless.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 6:09 PM
horizontal rule
133

I didn't have much luck doing blind combined author searches. Does your scientific world have anything like neurotree? I finally figured mine out by assuming that people would have at least one publication with anybody they're linked to on that chart and searching with those authors.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 6:35 PM
horizontal rule
134

Oh wait, I just found a way to get my Erdos number down to 6. Hot diggity!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 6:37 PM
horizontal rule
135

They weren't completely blind. I only looked at the dozen or so coauthors (and a couple of others who were coauthors of coauthors) with the most publications. Anyway, it didn't work. None of them are biologists because I don't really meet biologists.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 6:43 PM
horizontal rule
136

Maybe I should go figure out where basic-science types hang out. Is there like a bar or something?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 6:48 PM
horizontal rule
137

No, they spend all their time in the lab.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 6:53 PM
horizontal rule
138

WAIT. It's FIVE! Yee haw! Assuming, you know, posters count. That's through my adviser, though, so if I ever actually publish a paper then it'll get codified.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 6:55 PM
horizontal rule
139

Ugh, I wish I could remember exactly what Nia said about my dad, a math prof, while at my parents' house tonight. Something like, "All you do is play music and eat and think about math!" which is pretty much all he wants to do anyway. I think his Erdos is 1 or maybe 2, but I haven't coauthored anything with him since elementary school, so I don't count.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 7:02 PM
horizontal rule
140

Why aren't you trying to publish a paper with me?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 7:03 PM
horizontal rule
141

That was sort of depressing. Most of my articles don't have many citations. I have to find a way to force people to cite me. Or find a way to convince my boss to force people to cite him.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 7:04 PM
horizontal rule
142

The upcoming heebie-Sifu paper will cite you.
I was just reading something our group published in December and realized I really should have been an author on it.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 7:06 PM
horizontal rule
143

I'm still waiting to have a paper with a co-author born on every continent. I've never managed an Australian and a South American on the same paper.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 7:11 PM
horizontal rule
144

We were looking up the most-cited paper of all time the other day. It's rather impressive. Super boring paper, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 7:16 PM
horizontal rule
145

Google scholar sure makes me feel better about the number of times I've been cited. It has a lot more citations and they appear real.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 7:37 PM
horizontal rule
146

Some of them are law review articles, but those still count for something.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 7:38 PM
horizontal rule
147

Hey, look at all them trees.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 7:56 PM
horizontal rule
148

107: It varies by jurisdiction, but in your case, keep it above 300 yards, just for a safe cushion.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 8:03 PM
horizontal rule
149

Are there any recent - say, post-WWII - Nobel Prize winners in an academic discipline - so, not economics* - who wrote only single-authored work?

*I'm not sure if I'm kidding.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 8:05 PM
horizontal rule
150

"Only" seems a very strict standard.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 8:19 PM
horizontal rule
151

Speaking of citation, one of my recent papers cites Shearer.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 8:42 PM
horizontal rule
152

143: You've had papers with coauthors born in Antarctica?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:10 PM
horizontal rule
153

I should totally write a paper with heebie to lower my Erdös number. If only I had any idea what the words in her thesis title have to do with anything I care about.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:12 PM
horizontal rule
154

151: I've cited him too!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:17 PM
horizontal rule
155

153: I can't figure that out either.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:18 PM
horizontal rule
156

152: Penguin.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:21 PM
horizontal rule
157

Huh, I just realized my thesis is not available online.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:23 PM
horizontal rule
158

150: That's why I'm wondering.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:23 PM
horizontal rule
159

And I thought I might have forgotten about a Nobel winner on my thesis committee, but it turns out he was one of those people who won just about every award except that one.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:26 PM
horizontal rule
160

Maybe I'll ask the penguin to do some lit review review on Monday.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:26 PM
horizontal rule
161

If only I had any idea what the words in her thesis title have to do with anything I care about.

They were written by heebie, and you care about her.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:45 PM
horizontal rule
162

So neither Erdos nor Bacon have an Erdos-Bacon number? Wikipedia says that people erroneously thought Erdos had a low number before discovering that a person with whom he appeared in a film was not the same person who appeared in a film with Bacon, but rather was someone else of the same name.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:53 PM
horizontal rule
163

I continue to be totally thrilled about my impressively low Erdos-Bacon number. Also, I actually finished the paper I was supposed to be writing earlier. Who could believe it?!?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:54 PM
horizontal rule
164

Someday some genius mathematician is going to figure out how to get Kevin Bacon in as an author and the world is going to explode.

Heebie, that genius mathematician could be you.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:55 PM
horizontal rule
165

The Goldbach Conjecture could be the title of a spy thriller.

Or maybe a feel-good film about math club kids who succeed in football: The Houston Eulers


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05- 4-13 9:59 PM
horizontal rule
166

My aunt was childhood friends with Kevin Bacon. She's a microbiologist rather than a mathematician, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05- 5-13 12:42 AM
horizontal rule
167

165.2 A feelgood movie about a college quarterback who wins a Fields medal would be more fun.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 05- 5-13 3:16 AM
horizontal rule
168

Travelling Salesman: a thriller about P=NP.


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 05- 5-13 5:17 AM
horizontal rule
169

151 154

This prompted me to investigate the citations feature in google scholar. It is kind of neat.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 05- 5-13 6:54 AM
horizontal rule
170

156: I interviewed a little while ago with Serge Rud@z, who had a hand in the naming of the Pengu/n Diagram, but sadly did not get the job.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05- 5-13 6:56 AM
horizontal rule
171

Three women who have been missing for more than ten years were just found a couple of miles away from our house. http://www.cleveland.com/metro/index.ssf/2013/05/amanda_berry_and_gina_dejesus.html


Posted by: Molly | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 7:11 PM
horizontal rule
172

And, in the creepiest move ever, the alleged captor of the three women wrote a community newsletter article about one of them disappearing: http://www.everyjoe.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/ariel-castro-wrote-about-abduction-gina-dejesus.jpg


Posted by: Molly | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 7:24 PM
horizontal rule
173

It's an amazingly creepy/horrible story. Nnng.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 7:26 PM
horizontal rule
174

I heard pieces of that story since I was in airports and planes the last several hours. Is the idea that some guy kidnapped three girls on three separate occasions about 10 years ago and kept them captive throughout their 20s, and they just managed to escape today? That's bizarre.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 7:31 PM
horizontal rule
175

Yeah. I guess he was a bus driver? Earlier reports mentioned there was also a child (alternately reported as being around 6 or 10 years old). Reading the newsletter piece is especially weird since it comes to a sharp focus around sex predator laws and how they are enforced (or not, in this area, apparently). So far I have not heard if the guy had a previous record.


Posted by: Molly | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 7:34 PM
horizontal rule
176

Apparently the story linked in 172 was written by the son of the captor, not the captor himself. Breaking news is breaking.


Posted by: Molly | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 7:42 PM
horizontal rule
177

Mobdy may be familiar with the HIV research world's most Ludlum-esque study, on the subject of "The Visconti Cohort".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 8:02 PM
horizontal rule
178

Nope, not by that name. I've never done much with anything infectious.


Posted by: Mobdy Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 8:08 PM
horizontal rule
179

171: That is really strange, horrible story.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 8:10 PM
horizontal rule
180

178: ... Laydeez


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 8:17 PM
horizontal rule
181

All my problems are congenital.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 6-13 8:20 PM
horizontal rule