I hate them too and I have no idea what an elliptical machine is. Urgh. They're horrible.
"Maybe you've never been to my gymn. I see people falling off FREQUENTLY. Of course, my gymn serves hard liquor."
"I never heard of anyone falling off an elliptical. This is like not crossing the street with the stroller."
I've read this sentence six times and I still have no clue what it's getting at.
4. It appears to be suggesting that people don't fall off ellipticals, but frequently fall off the surface of the earth while crossing roads with strollers. I would regard it as open to dispute.
4: They are saying that deciding not to wear your baby in a bjorn on the elliptical machine, because of the danger of falling, would be analogous to deciding never to cross the street with a stroller.
Explaining an analogy made in another forum is not a violation of the Analogy Ban. Right, Ogged?
I see pregnant women at the gym all the time and they seem to have little trouble not falling down. One of the yoga teachers at my gym is preggers-near-unto-bursting* and she does handstands and arm balances like they're nothing. Is a Baby Bjorn that difficult to manage?
(Speaking of yoga, stumbling upon a crowd of women waiting for a teacher-training class to begin is kind of unnerving. They seemed rather more Linda-Hamilton-in-Terminator 2 than serene.)
* Technical term.
6: I think it's argument a fortiori. It's easier and less dangerous to use the elliptical with a baby than to cross the street with a stroller. But no one refrains from crossing the street with a stroller on account of difficulty and danger. Therefore, a fortiori, you need not refrain from using the elliptical with your baby.
8: You just added a fancy foreign word to sound clever.
Tangentially, I've fallen off an elliptical machine.
10: I'm sure I would have, except that I've taken the extra precaution of never getting on one.
10: It's especially impressive to fall off it at a tangent.
The Mrs is in similar forums, which I occasionally read, but I've never seen such snarkiness as displayed therein.
My view is that if you're be "exercising" on a eliptical machine you're probably not exercising, baby or no. I've seen this FREQUENTLY.
Speaking of exercise, I'm planning to start swimming for the summer. My joints are telling me to run less, bicycling doesn't agree with me, and elliptical trainers are obviously to dangerous.
16: Oh shut up. Should I submit a question to UrbanBaby about wearing my baby to CrossFit?
Absolutely! I think if your baby is 20 pounds you could wear it for an Rx'd Murph. You'd want it on your back for the push-ups, though.
Has there been a ruling on the acceptability and pronunciation of "gymn"?
I've come close to falling off an elliptical several times, but no actual falls. The phone is usually involved.
Anyway, I'm thinking about trying it today. My biggest reservations are:
1. Getting sweaty with a hot sweaty baby pressed against you seems generally gross and unpleasant.
2. Fear of getting publicly chastised.
21: I just came in to ask about that. This:
Uh, it's short for "gymnasium." Gymn is a perfectly acceptable abbreviation.
is the best thing I've read yet today.
It does seem like a bad idea, mostly due to lack of neck strength in the young un's, but also general hassle if said young un starts to overheat.
I'm planning to start swimming for the summer.
Don't overshoot and swim to fall.
24.1 is a reasonable worry. I like the Moby wrap, but it's easy to overheat in it.
24.2 -- eh, screw 'em.
I wish I could get back to exercising. Recovery from birth is going very slowly.
15: If memory serves, Gawker summarized the content of the UrbanBaby boards as "Your husband doesn't make enough money so you're fat and your baby is stupid."
28: I'm sorry to hear that. Was labor, um, laborious?
mostly due to lack of neck strength in the young un's, but also general hassle if said young un starts to overheat.
I think the elliptical motion is less jarring than chasing after 2 and 4 year olds. And the gym is air-conditioned.
28: The baby's less than a month old, unless I've lost track? Give yourself a little time. I wasn't doing much more strenuous than slow walking for the first six weeks or so after Sally. (After Newt, I recovered much quicker.)
30: Forceps did a number and then I slipped in the kitchen a few days ago -- didn't fall, but wrenching things that weren't needing to be wrenched.
Definitely there could be some annoying chafing from the Bjorn. Also a non-bjorn wrap which in my experience is not totally worry free when it comes to babies falling out of there might not be a good idea.
So what you want is a rigid papoose to support the baby's neck, and then to cover your body with Vaseline to prevent chafing. You'll also want to be nude to avoid overheating.
You'll also want to be nude to avoid overheating.
Your van isn't air-conditioned?
Heebie, if you want to kill your baby through your own poor choices, we won't judge you.
I recently discovered that our baby-carrier can be used for back carries, and that the kid loves it. Too bad it's suddenly 90 degrees or it would be nice to go for some walks this way.
I forgot about the forceps. But also, what LB said. Either way, sympathy.
So Urban Baby takes the 4chan model of discussion (no usernames) with results that are ... surprisingly ... just like 4chan's. I await the profusion of Urban Baby image macros.
6: If inference from a weaker case to a stronger one is an analogy in the banned sense, then I'm not sure what kind of inference isn't. I suppose modus ponens and modus tollens...
Modus ponendo ponens or modus tollendo ponens?
Your modus tolls 'pon ends for us.
So, can this be an aging person exercise thread?
All of a sudden (say, the last year?) I'm taking forever to recover from muscle soreness, where by forever I mean more than a day or so. I did sprints with Newt Tuesday morning, and I'm still really sore from those, I started doing pushups with Buck again and my abdominals are sore all the time (I have no idea why my abdominals are suddenly the weak link in pushups. After ten or twelve, I have to stop because I can't hold the plank position any more rather than because my arms are giving out. This is also new.)
This all feels like normal soreness rather than injury, it's just lasting long enough that what should be an ordinary amount of rest isn't enough to make the next workout doable. Is there something clever I should be doing about it?
48: Stretching/warming up helps me with the soreness, but not for very long.
48: I recommend Rolfing. It might not reduce muscle soreness, but it will probably raise your pain tolerance.
There are supposed to be other benefits too but I'm still not convinced they're anything but placebo.
I suppose I ought to recommend avoiding drinking one's way through a long weekend but I can hardly claim that particular high road myself.
48: Maybe try Creatine? I've heard that it helps but haven't tried it, in large part because the soreness makes me feel macho.
48: Recovery processes slow down with aging, but even bros in the first bud of youth can feel sore for extended periods in the first workout after a lay off.
You might try:
- more brotein, especially first thing in the morning, and immediately after exercise.
- mobilising more (what used to be called stretching)
- taking fish oil supplements (about the only supplement that has been shown to do anything useful; it helps control inflammation)
An aging problems thread? Yes, please!
I got pink-eye for the first time ever. Since treating it, my eyes dry out while I'm sleeping to the point where I have to pry them open in the morning.
I know I could use saline solution to moisturize, but is there any way to jumpstart my tear ducts so they don't dry out in the first place? Anyone had this problem? (I don't wear contacts or glasses, for the record.)
Also, maybe you need glasses and your eyes are drying out because of the exertion of squinting.
If you squint all day, as soon as you close your eyes, your squint muscles will hydrate themselves by drinking your tears.
brotein
REAL protein for REAL bros, bro!
If I'm not being trolled, then it's true I'm staring at screens more on maternity leave than I do while at work or weekends. Maybe it is tired squinters.
Wait, it turns out I was picking up on intentional bro joke? Brofusing!
I maintain a distinction between trolling whatever 57 and 59 are doing.
LB, my trainer says "hair of the dog that bit you" for soreness. Do light versions of whatever it was that kicked your ass, which is just about the last thing you want to do. I'm not convinced it works and don't have another solution, so I'd love if someone else does.
At the store, they said it was a maintenance-free distinction. Salespeople are liars.
So many people recommend metaphorical dog hair, I'm starting to wonder if maybe non-metaphorical dog hair isn't something to try.
Ok, I'm off to see if I fall off FREQUENTLY or not. Before it gets too hot, since I'm walking there. I really hope the facility managers don't chastise me. It seems likely to be a violation of their insurance.
66: Hah, I just emailed you in case you weren't reading. I've been doing the light workouts: I did a slow halfhour run yesterday morning (and when I say slow, I mean that in the richest, fullest sense of the word). Didn't hurt, but didn't help.
The pushup thing is what's really annoying me. I've never had my abdominals be the weak link in anything before, and they're making it impossible to make any progress.
My cat is on steroids.
Mine too. Kidney disease?
Hydrate. Pain is weakness leaving the body. Planks and side planks are good for toning the core. Now come over to the Abdominator and I will shout slogans at you.
So, really, steroids are the right answer here. I mean, do what the pros do, right?
Following up from 73, IIRC making sweet sweet love increases testosterone production.
Low hanging fruit, anyone?
70 last sounds maybe not so much like soreness, but like just a general core strength issue -- are you doing anything besides running and push-ups?
I wish I had a single amazing answer, I've been feeling sore a bunch too. Rolling out with foam rollers does seem to help a lot, but as with some of these things maybe it's psychosomatic. Also sleep really matters they say.. I've heard the fish oil thing and maybe will try that.
Put the fish oil on with foam rollers.
I was surprised with the blithe manner in which my trainer pointed out to me the guy to get illegal steroids from. Apparently my gymn is full of juicers.
Pain is weakness leaving the body.
Sometimes it's Mexican food leaving the body.
Maybe your trainer views you as a lost cause for non-pharma muscle-building efforts.
Googling "fish oil lube" reveals a large number of success stories.
79: Likely, given my performance. I like to imagine I'll be Charles Atlas by sheer willpower, but perhaps my best hope is pharmaceuticals that shrivel up my nuts like little raisins.
but like just a general core strength issue -- are you doing anything besides running and push-ups?
Pullups, but nothing core-targeted. I was thinking of the pushups as taking care of that. I've just never had it happen that my abs were the weak link before.
Maybe I'll start doing some kind of situps. I hate situps -- I don't know why, but they feel boring and ineffective.
Sit-ups are boring and ineffective.
Can you hang from somewhere and do leg raises? It might be a race whether your abs or your grip gives out first, but you could strengthen both.
I still can't do more than two pull-up. Maybe I should put a bar in the office. As for situps, I do the kind where you go up a little bit, just enough to clear the bottom part of your back, and hold for the count of ten. Twenty-five years ago, a doctor told me to do those to compensate for lordosis. I usually manage to remember them for stretches of a couple of months every other year.
I can't believe it's fallen to me to recommend squats, deadlifts, and overhead presses. Halford, Megan, you two are failing at your jobs.
Maybe I should put a bar in the office.
Yes!
Ugh, I played rounders on Saturday and said "oh, I'll be backstop for both teams" (both teams were mostly made of small children who make incompetent backstops) => squatting about six million times in two hours => not being able to sit down or walk downstairs without pain until Tuesday.
Oh, I thought those were stipulated. I didn't know we need to mention them.
But if you have access to an bar and weights, there's another fun ab strengthener. Walk holding the bar overhead with enough weight to make it hard to reverse direction. Even better is to hang the weights off the bar (we use the large bands that assist our pull-ups), so it is naturally trying to move around but you have to stabilize it.
Burpees.
About a year ago I started doing pulldowns and cable rows, back pain from sedntariness and long bike rides has vanished since.
Air squats as well, if you're not at a place with weights. Pull-ups/push-ups/running only does suggest that it's probably a core strength problem, not a soreness problem, he says with no real knowledge and extraordinarily mediocre/poor performance for a crossfitter from 3000 miles away.
Mine too. Kidney disease?
Arthritis-induced intermittent paralysis.
It was successful, btw, by which I mean I got my heartrate up for 25 minutes or so. Ace was covered in my sweat, but her limbs and ears remained cool to the touch, so I think she was fine. Rested her head on my ample bosom and slept through the whole thing.
Only one person approached us, a 50ish man, who was totally delighted. "I've never seen THAT before! And she's sleeping! Wonderful!" So that was nice.
73: So, really, steroids are the right answer here. I mean, do what the pros do, right?
Only one person approached us, a 50ish man, who was totally delighted. "I've never seen THAT before! And she's sleeping! Wonderful!" So that was nice.
Yay!
93: slept through the whole thing.
Wow, didn't even wake up when you landed on top of her! Good sign for sleeping through the night.
94 -- it's always nice when the real world isn't like the internet.
48: Is there something clever I should be doing about it?
Post about it copiously on the blog--does wonders for my self-image.
"It is not enough that I'm a schlubini, other must join me."
98: Sure. Tell that to a displaced Somali.
Wikipedia discusses delayed onset muscle soreness, but doesn't offer any new solutions or discuss whether it increases with age.
I'd try a private Pilates session or two (and then one has to actually do the exercises, but they ought to be good at diagnosing weakness) and also nicing up the diet. Brotein, the milder things in sports drinks, fish oil, vitamin D.
Do light versions of whatever it was that kicked your ass, which is just about the last thing you want to do. I'm not convinced it works
Hitting the muscles with ultra high reps as a recovery tool is a pretty common technique and there's a lot of competitive powerlifters, sprinters, etc. that swear by it. Louie Simmons and such are usually recommending things like a couple hundred leg curls with a light ankle weight, high rep push downs and pull aparts with an elastic band, etc.
But getting strong enough that one can even do high reps, even without any weight, takes some other strategy.
Dancing might help develop the strength do to something with high reps. However, I am unable to think of what kind of activity that might be.
Speaking of pull ups and the abz, gymnasts typically do pull ups in a "hollow" position, which works the abz more. A more advanced variant is to do L-sit pull ups, which works the abz even more whilst also getting in more pull up goodness!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3wPsaR1fPE
https://www.gymnasticbodies.com/forum/topic/7741-hollow-body-pull-ups-the-basics-video-is-here/
But getting strong enough that one can even do high reps, even without any weight, takes some other strategy.
Doing standing leg curls in front of the tv or whatever is going to be pretty doable for most people.
If memory serves, Gawker summarized the content of the UrbanBaby boards as "Your husband doesn't make enough money so you're fat and your baby is stupid."
This site is indeed amazing. Here's another question there: "Fertility peaks at age 24. Are older moms not aware of this or do they just not care? I plan on having kids at 24, 28, 32, and 36. I will be married and done with grad school at 24. Perfect timing. What's with people advocating having kids later when that is known to drastically increase the chance if birth defects and learning disabilities? "
109: That is going to be the world's most bitter and disappointed mother, and I would pay money to be a fly on her wall to witness it.
109: That is going to be the world's most bitter and disappointed mother, and I would pay money to be a fly on her wall to witness it.
Boy howdy.
Would you pay more money to see this mother's disappointment or to see the Prancersize lady lead the people she trains in the 5km Turkey Trot?
I wonder why she doesn't plan to have all four kids at 24. Does she just not care?
Well, that site really is pretty amazing. Records will be obtained and justice done come Halfordismo time!
Wow, 109 is amazing.
That is a truly astonishing level of tone-deafness and disconnect from reality. I don't even know what to say.
Done with grad school at 24? Law school, is that?
Eh. She's likely in her very early twenties. I imagine that life will teach her about predictions.
109 makes me think that trolling urbanbaby could be fun. One can conceive of multiple vectors, including attempting to be an even more extreme version of the woman who posted that, or obliviously asking questions that will be sure to draw the outraged scorn of the commenters.
Isn't it possible that 109 is ogged?
I'm just going to c+p some questions and responses, because they are so awesome:
How do people know that their 4 yr old is gifted? Is the child speaking many languages? Loves physics? Or is everyone just "taking a chance"?
»I used to work with gifted children. It's REALLY obvious when you are working with a truly gifted child. I worked with a 3 year old who played concertos by ear, for example.
»my DD did algebra at that age and memorized all the maps she saw. my nephew had a photographic memory at that age, but it went away when he was an adult.
I saw a babysitter on the subway yesterday with twin boys: the babysitter was interacting with them so beautifully and they all seemed very happy. She was tall and blondish; the boys (2-3 years old?) were dark complexioned and may have had an AA parent. If she works for you, you've got a great employee.
»How do you know she wasn't their mother?
If you consistently make noise in your apartment between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm and your neighbors hear it and complain BUT it's not loud enough to violate noise ordinances and your lease does not ban it, can your apartment complex make you leave or stop?
It really kind of makes you want to get rid of moms.
Jeez, Halford. We already knew you were against apple pie. What's next?
Because its democracy has failed.
Failed to create a strategic bison reserve, most notably.
Heck, we can barely pull off a tactical bison reserve.
SOMEWHERE west of Laramie there's a bronco-busting, steer roping girl who knows what I'm talking about. She can tell what a sassy pony, that's a cross between greased lighting and the place where it hits, can do with eleven hundred pounds of steel and action when he's going high, wide and handsome. The truth is - the Playboy was built for her.
And one from the ub:
Anyone have a VERY high scoring dc* (158+ SB, 99 x 6 ERB) who wound up in gen-ed? How has the experience been for DC?
»yep - worked out beautifully.
»»then your child was just prepped well and not truly gifted.
*What is dc? Dear Child?
I wish the word and concept of "gifted" (in that sense) could be wiped off the face of the earth.
120: There was a woman on RH of BH (if you don't know be pleased with yourself) who talked about how her 2yo knew Thai. *She* didn't know Thai, mind you, but someone told her that her child spoke Thai -- and isn't that amazing because he is a genius?
SOMEWHERE south of Pawtucket there's a teased bangs-having, acid-washed jeans-wearing, head banger girl who knows just what Halford's talking about. She can tell what a salty length of Slim Jim, that's a cross between shoe leather and the floor of the Port Authority restrooms, can do with 1260 pounds of aluminum and plastic when he's going short, skinny and meth-mouthed. The truth is - the Datsun was built for her.
133: Baby can talk Thai. Baby talked Thai real well.
132: Sure. And I'd guess that a lot of merely well-prepped people share that sentiment.
130 and 134 are great, but as we've discussed previously the Camaro is the once now and forever automotive choice of the skank.
I am going to have to undertake some serious work to get my core strength back. Not sure quite how to do it, as my approach to core strength has always been to have a decent amount of core strength and then lift some weights before doing planks, but weightlifting now would probably break things. I swear the Calabat sucked out all my muscle mass.
Playing soccer after having Hawaiian Punch was shockingly hard. Completely different from taking a seven year break after high school. It was like mental connections to my hips had been severed and had to be regrown from scratch, particularly those affecting my reaction time. Returning after Hokey Pokey was much much easier.
138: On that, really give yourself a lot of time and work up to things gently. I mean, it's obvious, but pregnancy does some seriously drastic things to your abdominal muscles that are going to take months to resolve. Everything does bounce back eventually, at least in terms of muscle function, but think several months.
Walking around town with a slowly increasing baby-weight strapped to my front helped me get my middle back into a useful-for-doing-things condition, though it was a pretty gentle improvement over months and I was probably a lot wimpier than you to start with.
The reference of "Calabat" seems to have shifted on us.
Lots of things shifted, the least of them references.
I'm slowly coming around to that. The one downside of having a ridiculously easy pregnancy is that I was totally unprepared for feeling weak post-partum. Everything else I was warned about didn't happen. It turns out that this is normal, and I"m not irrevocably broke, which is how I felt most of the last week.
The exhaustion is also confusing -- that is, you're physically messed up, and you're also probably so short on sleep that you'd be feeling clumsy and weak even if your body was fine. Those are both going to resolve, but each is intensifying the other at the moment.
||
Speaking of things shifting, as a result of the weekend I've been thinking of changing my pseud. Any opinions on "Just Kidding" as a new one?
|>
If all you want is something non-name, may I suggest Jek Zero for continuity? Not that I know what it denotes in your email address, but it means that it'll be easier to remember who you are.
If this is the parenting thread, ideally we'd like someone with a tapeworm.
146: I like Just Kidding. If you really want to make LB's head explode you could use Tori Pine, but that's not recommended.
Speaking of, YK, are you now Torrey Pine? Or did we prevail with a great suggestion?
Because he confessed at Unfoggedcon that he was the one who killed Christ. He's trying to put the whole thing behind him.
||
Putting it in this thread because it's about horrible people, I'm not going to look back to where I talked years ago about how I hated the doctor who did my D&C for uterine polyps and how I had to wait for hours at the hospital for him to show up and how he just gave me the creeps but I wanted to get the procedure over and done with so I could stop bleeding, which of course didn't even work. He's now been indicted for propositioning a minor (undercover cop) in what seems like an open-and-shut case. I feel kind of bad that I didn't make official complaints at the time, not that I think the problems actually overlap or anything. But still.
|>
So after all these years, you want a pseud, but you want it to be "Just Kidding"? I've never understood people's pseud suggestions. I mean, you can be anything you want to. Why not become a powerful lion or a soaring eagle? Or a metal god, like me?
157: Surely "powerful lion" and "soaring eagle" s/b "supple leopard".
And I like "Just Kidding" because a) it's my initials and b) I've lost count of the number of times people have made the "Ha! Just joshing! Haw haw haw!" joke at me.
I've lost count of the number of times people have made the "Ha! Just joshing! Haw haw haw!" joke at me.
117
The OP title has had me thinking often of The Pirates of Penzance.
Sometimes the life of a metal god forces you to go by a pseud.
150: yeah, I settled on "torrey pine." It seems to be working out ok.
163: You may regret that when you find out what comment 260 actually says.
So anyway, legendary Obituary bassist Frank Watkins had to adopt a wacky Norwegian pseudonym when he joined Gorgoroth. That never stops being funny to me.
It's all fun and wacky until someone burns down a church.
I've been thinking of changing my pseud.
Wry Cooter is still available.