There was nothing you could gamble on with the other parents?
No, the four year olds had to be closely monitored. That was what was so painful. We went to visit a lab on campus, and it was essentially narrow row after narrow row of identical fish tanks. No touching the glass! No running! No doing anything except watching some extremely small fish! Only 30 more minutes, and then we'll begin the long trek back to daycare!
I hope that small fish someday get there revenge on you, you snob.
Holy shit. "There." The small fish don't care about my grammar, however, they just want revenge.
And there are SO MANY ways for small fish to get their revenge. Parasites. Crawling into open wounds and laying eggs. Piranhas. Nibbling little bites that leave a rash. Swarming one's eyes while swimming. The list goes on.
At least that would be a break from the tedium.
Many of these fish are small fish.
Huh, I can't find a buzzfeed or similar article on the 100 most dull, small fish. Probably because they're dull.
A woman who has grown tired of small fish has grown tired of life.
If I'm confronted with a tank of boring small fish, I use my imagination. Presto -- NOW I CONTROL THE FISH. They do my bidding and can fucking swarm up IN YOUR FACE AND BITE IT.
Whenever I think of small fish and revenge, I think of candiru.
Good one, Mobes. See how bored you'll be when a fish swims up your genitals and lays eggs.
No touching the glass! No running! No doing anything except watching some extremely small fish!
Wouldn't it have been easier for everyone just to put them in an otherwise empty room and tell them not to eat the marshmallow?
You can certainly wager with the other parents on that one.
Boredom should be cultivated as means of extending your life per Dunbar in Catch-22.
I don't want to control the fish. Live and let live or nap.
I will say that my kid is a champion rules-follower. Like, extraordinary.
It's like with political power. Those who control the fish best are often not those who seek control of the fish.
We started reading Junie B. Jones and Ramona Quimby, (JBJ also being a spunky rules-breaker), and Hawaii is so perplexed by these girls. Why would they do that thing that was explicitly against the rules?
(My friend's kid who is essentially a slightly older version of Hawaii came home from kindergarten and said "Mom! We're in kindergarten and some of the kids are still breaking rules! At age five! Can you believe it?"
18: I'm reasonably sure that if my kid were asked to commit an atrocity by some fascist leader, he would delay out of an innate sense that he shouldn't do anything at all without first asking if he can watch some TV.
PK gave our kids M&Ms, and they said "Did our parents say we could eat these?" He said yes. Then he came and told us the whole thing, so pleased was he at his mischief.
The point being, how cute is it that Hawaii and Hokey Pokey responded with "Did our parents say this was okay?"
I first parsed "PK" as Paul Krugman, and liked the idea of him handing out M & Ms in a grandfatherly way. But then I realized it was a different PK.
If they're that good on food rules, you should just raise them to be Kosher. Give them an outlet.
Sally was always a compliant child (roughly. She's untidy, and recalcitrant about cleaning up after herself) but now as a teenager wants to be rebellious, except she can't really find an outlet for it -- all the adults she has direct access to (us, teachers) roughly agree with her on the major issues of the day. If she could find an authority figure being openly racist or homophobic, she'd be set for something to rebel against, but she's got nothing. It's hard being a rebel in Pauline Kael-land.
It's like with political power. A large nation should be ruled like a small fish should be cooked.
You could find her an openly racist pen pal without too much looking.
Running with scissors: Why not a new sport for kindergarten classes?
I wish I had the problem of a overly compliant child.
It's hard being a rebel in Pauline Kael-land.
Really?
Drugs? Sex? Failing classes?
What's so hard about that?
Hawaii will not let us fold and put away her clothes, because we'll do it wrong. She wants to do it herself. I'm really not clear how I hatched such a kid.
22: It's sad that they still haven't figured out his name.
I heard an interview with Tig Notaro recently, and the interviewer says "So you failed three grades in high school and then dropped out. You're a smart person. How did you do that?" and Tig says "I didn't do any work or go to class...I guess it was easy."
Maybe it was the delivery because I don't think what I wrote just now will seem funny enough. It was super funny.
33: Does that mean somebody needs to give him a baby?
31: Well, she wants to excel at socially productive rebellion, like she does at everything else. The Marlon Brando style "What are you rebelling against?" "Whaddaya got?" nihilism hasn't occurred to her yet. Possibly she'll get there.
30: Indeed! It's reassuring that the YMCA day camp is not actually going to throw Mara out for refusing to participate in group activities, but it's clearly freaking out the camp counselors. I suppose that's because YMCA camp counselors are the sort of people who always wanted to participate in group activities, but they are completely stymied because she just says, "No, thank you!" and won't back down. (I was about to say that at least she's not hitting them, but I do think she sort of shoved her swim teacher, so hmm.)
36: I have some green anarchist pamphlets I could send her. You're almost guaranteed to disagree with some of that stuff. I do.
Yeah, my kid is pretty much the same. She's gotten much better recently, after a lot of intervention, but for a long time her response to doing some kind of class group activity she didn't want to do was to just say "no thanks" and go off and do her own thing, and that's still her natural inclination. It totally and understandably freaks out the authority figures.
The campus daycare center that never ever has spaces available just called to say they've got a spot for Teapot Zucchini. It took me about three minutes to get from relief and elation to distress at how little that means we'll see him. Someone please tell me it's all going to be okay.
36: Yes, I wouldn't have said that if I thought she could hear.
Anyway, she could decide you all are hypocrites for benefitting from a capitalistic-patriarchal-imperialist-racist system, and drop out of school and devote herself entirely to revolution. You might not entirely disagree, but you probably wouldn't be happy about it.
I was a very compliant kid/teenager. All I came up with as high school rebellion was breaking my midnight weekend curfew by 15 min every week. I'd come in at 12:15 to a disapproving parent in flannel nightgown/pajamas standing just inside the entryway who would ask me how I could be so irresponsible, without a trace of amusement or irony.
If she could find an authority figure being openly racist or homophobic, she'd be set for something to rebel against, but she's got nothing. It's hard being a rebel in Pauline Kael-land.
Be careful. That was how I started reading the Wall St. Journal editorial page, and it led directly to my leading the UChicago libertarians. Do you want that for Sally? Do you?!
Yeah, my kid is pretty much the same. She's gotten much better recently, after a lot of intervention,
Fascist.
39: Her preschool was okay with that since it's clearly her personality (and mine!) and I talked to the principal last night and was reassured that kindergarten will be fine with it too. I guess we might just have to find something else for her to do next summer.
Also, Teapot Zucchini is far too awesome a tiny person to ever be merely okay. You have nothing to fear!
42: Oh, she has all sorts of options she hasn't considered. What cracks me up is her approach, which is basically "Right, teenage rebellion. Sounds good. How do we go about this sensibly and productively? Huh, nothing's coming to mind, possibly Mom has some helpful advice."
I'm very glad that she's like that, but there's a certain degree of not getting the point exactly going on.
More on-topic: I guess I was pretty lucky as a kid, as I only remember one truly boring field trip -- we went to the Landmark Center in St. Paul, which was newly rehabbed at that point -- and listened to a long historical presentation. This wouldn't have been so bad, even for 3rd graders, but it was a very cold day, and the room we were in was up in the attics, so it was super stuffy, and we were all bundled up to the nines. Very claustrophobic.
I never really got the point of rebelling-to-rebel. As a committed revolutionary from the age of 13, I just pitied those people. Seemed like banging your head against a brick wall to me. I mean, if you're going to be dishonest or anti-social or whatever, be sneaky about it, or what is the point?
35: Can you explain that to me please, Moby?
Anyway, she could decide you all are hypocrites for benefitting from a capitalistic-patriarchal-imperialist-racist system, and drop out of school and devote herself entirely to revolution. You might not entirely disagree, but you probably wouldn't be happy about it.
Dropping out might lead to problems down the road. Best to stay in and become a revolutionary intellectual. Is her school the sort of place that's likely to contact the parents if a kid turns in an essay rhapsodizing over the prospect of bourgeois blood running in the streets in rivers?
41: Awww. It will be okay, just not the first day or first few days. We had a similar surprise ~18 months ago with campus daycare -- is it full or part time? (Part-time slots do mysteriously arise sometimes.) The weekends will take on new meaning; the split consciousness between child-world and work-world can be tricky to manage during the week (I had a particularly bad time with this, since I'm a terrible compartmentalizer). Sometimes it's possible to manipulate sleep schedules to get a little more morning or evening time together, depending which you prefer/can do. Good luck! Empathy!
Yeah, curfew-breaking and relentlessly pushing for more freedom are the traditional polite rebellions. It is also traditional for parents to punish their firstborn for taking the bus across town without their permission, but to let the second child borrow the car to cross state lines to get cheaper drugs, as long as they are drugs that the second child has already tried with good results and the second child promises not to drive while high.
Dropping out might lead to problems down the road. Best to stay in and become a revolutionary intellectual.
Eeeek! You're not much of a rebel yourself, are you?
54,55: Thanks! I think I kind of understand.
I was such a compliant teenager that my parents didn't even bother to give me a curfew.
59: I didn't have a curfew either, but I wouldn't say it was because I was compliant - more that I didn't have any friends. That's an exaggeration -- I had a few friends, but I very rarely was out at night.
Looking back, I really wish I'd done more rebelling in high school or even college. Grad school is not a good time to discover the joys of drinking too much and staying out till all hours.
Eeeek! You're not much of a rebel yourself, are you?
Mocking revolutionary intellectuals hmm? A stint in the gulag will take care of that, comrade...
A stint in the gulag will take care of that, comrade...
All the true rebels wind up there sooner or later.
59, 60: I didn't have a curfew, because I only ever stayed out late going to radical meetings or volunteering at the anarchist center. Once in a great while I went to a party, but I never had more than two beers.
but now as a teenager wants to be rebellious, except she can't really find an outlet for it -- all the adults she has direct access to (us, teachers) roughly agree with her on the major issues of the day.
If she were a boy she could already be imitating Nick Gillespie and organizing Affirmative Action Bake Sales, but it's true, I don't know what a girl should do.
Who are you people, what are you putting in the water your kids are drinking, and where can I get some?
41: it was really hard for me, that first semester that Hawaii was in daycare.
My advice: carve out one afternoon per week where you can pick up Zucchini early, and make up the work after Zucchini goes to bed. Or just carve out one afternoon without appointments/class/meetings so that that's available as an option when you want it.
Last night little Φ mounted an impressive rebellion against her diaper, her pajamas, her sleep sack, her sheets, and her foam mattress pad. And had only a grin to show the authorities.
45, 48, 53, 67: Thanks. To be clear, I'm not at all worried about Teapot in this scenario; I'm just going to miss him a whole lot. I think we can drop down to part-time if the full-time schedule really doesn't work for us, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if that's what we go for. Each of us has been getting 2 days a week in the office, and we've been trying to cobble together the rest of a workweek out of evenings and weekends; so even if he's just at daycare in the afternoons and we split the mornings, we'll both have doubled our time at work. (And, yes, we are well aware that this flexibility is a luxury, at least outside of enlightened topless Europe.)
68: Zardoz has started trying to perfect that trick. We're thinking it's time to go up a diaper size.
She also starts at the campus daycare that never has spots in a couple of weeks but honestly we're kind of excited about it so far. They seem so conscientious. It'll be easier for me, because it's like a hundred yards from my lab, but anyhow one must rejoin society at some point.
49.1: Huh, nothing's coming to mind, possibly Mom has some helpful advice.
"The true revolutionary correctly perceives but is undaunted by the yawning void of meaning at the center of existence. Although this awareness suffuses every fiber of their being, they carry on with a quotidian routine of helping with the cooking and cleaning their room. Punctually and with nary a whimper of complaint. And thus will the world be transformed. I mentioned the nary a whimper of complaint part, right?"
73: We are dragging our heels on that society thing. Going for six months. I've gone back to consulting, but it's part-time and from home. Mrs. K-sky (still the chief breadwinner) is putting in some minimal hours to keep her benefits without running down her PTO, and we're trying to squeeze the max out of the various disability/family leave state, federal and private benefits on offer while taking advantage of Grandma's babysitting offer. We didn't buy our house at the top of our range, so we had some savings left, and we're having a lot of fun with the little pudding so the time feels worth emptying the grain silo for.
We found a nice quiet home daycare just a few miles up the road. The main caretaker speaks limited English but her daughter runs the joint and checks in a couple of times a day, and they seem to really enjoy the babies more than the other places we saw who seemed so taken up with chasing toddlers that they mostly enjoyed the babies' lack of locomotion.
61: Looking back, I really wish I'd done more rebelling in high school or even college. Grad school is not a good time to discover the joys of drinking too much and staying out till all hours.
Amen - although on balance I think more along the lines of "better late than never."
It's hard being a rebel in Pauline Kael-land.
Maybe she could develop an appreciation for Clint Eastwood's oeuvre.
56, are you leaving out rebellion via dating? I think that's pretty traditional, too. And satisfying.
Archeology isn't everybody's thing.
I took dating to be implicit! But it's contingent on a lot of different factors, and there are other reasons for pushing for more freedom -- although that is a pretty central one.
Incidentally, on the subject of work/life balance: my productivity has plummeted since I gave birth (or at least, gone down to unmanageable from manageably slackerly levels) almost two years ago. I have yet to meet anyone else in this position, male or female, so I've been assuming it has almost nothing to do with parenthood and much more to do with my own poor work habits. But... jeez. It's really bad. And for a while it wasn't really bad. I'm not sure I have any point here, really, except that I keep staring helplessly at an inert document in front of me.
80, I was thinking more in the choice of companion than the act itself. Like bringing home a Republican. Who smokes. Or an anarchist. Or someone with a kid (when you're a high schooler).
. To be clear, I'm not at all worried about Teapot in this scenario; I'm just going to miss him a whole lot.
No, that was how I felt, too. I was sure Hawaii was fine; I was not, though. Someone gave me the advice to carve out an afternoon, which helped me a lot. But it sounds like you guys have options.
Zardoz has started trying to perfect that trick. We're thinking it's time to go up a diaper size.
YES. Ignore weight recommendations on diapers. The moment you're having blowouts, go up a size. Do not play the blowout game.
Do not play the blowout game.
The deadliest messiest game.
Who are you people, what are you putting in the water your kids are drinking, and where can I get some?
Hey! I spent an entire weekend in [unnamed New England state] and didn't threaten to put the Flip-Pater in a nursing home once! (The word "hippie" may have been bandied about, lightly.) What am I, chopped liver?
First we had leak-outs through the leg, which isn't helped by going up a size. Then we had the blast poop out through the back of the diaper, which really wasn't helped by going up a size either. Mainly we just washed a lot of stuff.
Y'all are really not doing a good job of selling this "having a baby" thing. I hadn't fully realized that "babysplosion" was talking about the explosion of feces that comes with the baby.
I'M HAVING BAD DREAMS AND I POOP A LOT!
But it is sort of amazing how much poop comes out of a small baby. If running speed developed like pooping did, babies would be capable of six minute miles.
Then we had the blast poop out through the back of the diaper, which really wasn't helped by going up a size either.
I mean, sometimes the kid is just sitting weird and it shoots up. But usually poop up the back means you need bigger diapers, even though they look like they fit just fine.
You can be in Camp Moby Poop Up The Back, or you can be in Camp Heebie Poofy Big Diapers And Well-Contained Poop. The choice is yours.
Oh God. Remember what happens when you feed them blueberries?
94: You say that like it's past tense.
This is rather more poop talk than the childless believed we were signing up for, people.
97: So, exactly how much poop talk did you think you we're signing up for?
Zardoz poops ALL THE TIME. It really is amazing. Also she probably is within the weight range for the next size of diapers since she is a minor giant among babies. On the other hand going up a diaper size means going up a onesie size, which means moving into a range where we have way less hand-me-downs.
re: 101
Huh. In the photos Zardoz looks smallish. Cute, not a big hulk of a baby. I'd not have guessed she was giant.
The pooping slows down. The horror of the actual poop gets much worse. Speaking from the perspective of about 8 - 10 weeks further down the line than the Blume-Tweeties.
102: she isn't actually terribly heavy but she's been cruising around near the 100th percentile for length.
101: I do actually have a bag of girls' clothes 6mo. and up just sitting in the hall. Should I check it for onesies, or would you guys still be
...LESS THAN SIGN 6-12 month range?
We found that the Calabat needed to move up to the next size of diapers as soon as the blowouts were daily occurrences.
89: I never thought I'd talk this much about poop. But it's fully one-third of what a newborn does.
Ah. We've no idea how long xelA is. He never lies still enough to tell. Consistently about 75% - 90% percentile for weight, though. Big, but not gigantic.
If she could find an authority figure being openly racist or homophobic, she'd be set for something to rebel against, but she's got nothing. It's hard being a rebel in Pauline Kael-land.
Obviously time for the gift membership to ACLU/Amnesty International/EFF/EPIC/Greenpeace/FITB social cause.
104: we would be moving to 3-6 month, but thanks! And, I mean, we will take hand-me-downs for whenever. One of the PIs in my lab gave us five trash bags full of clothes, which was a little excessive but, sure, yeah, hand 'em over.
Speaking of which, ttaM, what in the name of heaven is going on over on your side of the ocean?
Home Office officials have conducted a series of "racist and intimidatory" spot checks to search for illegal immigrants in the wake of the Government's "go home or face arrest" campaign.
Officers wearing stab vests have conducted random stop-and-check operations near stations in the London suburbs....
Onlookers described their shock at the operations, with one member of the public saying it was akin to "Nazi Germany"....
Phil O'Shea told the Kilburn Times: "They appeared to be stopping and questioning every non-white person, many of whom were clearly ordinary Kensal Green residents going to work. When I queried what was going on, I was threatened with arrest for obstruction and was told to 'crack on'."
Another witness, Matthew Kelcher, said: "Even with the confidence of a free-born Englishman who knows he has nothing to hide, I found this whole experience to be extremely intimidating. They said they were doing random checks, but a lot of people who use that station are tourists so I don't know what message that sends out to the world."
The vast majority of Zardoz's 0-3 month clothes have come from commenters (well, one in particular).
Ooh, I wonder which commenter is the size of a three-month-old (or just where it counts?) and I'm sure Sifu would never tell!
but she's been cruising around near the 100th percentile for length.
Have I told the story of the time my sister-in-law said that my niece was the 105th percentile for height, and my brother shot me death stares which correctly shut me up, and so I didn't say anything and it nearly ate me alive to let that go uncorrected? Especially because it was clearly a phrase she used all the time, and may have said it more than once?
93 etc: I think last night's blowout was anomalous, possibly brought on by a watered-down formula accident.
It better be -- we just moved up to 2's and we have about 250 of 'em to go through.
Φ (maybe Fee?) started out big at 90th percentile height and weight but she's dropped to 50th in weight while remaining tall. One of our doctors gave us a trip about needing to feed her more, so we switched doctors. ("Feeding her more" in practice means "more spitup.")
LB, mutatis mutandi, your description of Sally reminds me of the line from MASH: Anger turned inwards is depression; anger turned sideways is Hawkeye.
Both our kids grew monster super fast to begin with. Now our oldest is smaller than average. Go figure.
So, exactly how much poop talk did you think you we're signing up for?
In furlongs? About a sennight.
The Calabat is still in some of his 0-3 month clothes, despite being in the 90th percentile for weight (75% for length). He's also in some 6-9 month clothes, because infant sizing makes no sense. He's a muscular broad-shouldered baby, and he looks huge to me (mid 50s on everything at birth meant one hell of a growth spurt to get to where he is.)
113 is kinda making me want to hug you, heebs.
You guys and your primitive quantitative measurements. I have a paper signed by a PSYCHOLOGIST when I was 4 YEARS OLD saying I have a 165 IQ, and I am going to get it framed and put it next to my PhD diploma if I ever get a job that pays more than $50,000 a year.
Oh, on the baby tip: Raymond Scott's late-exotica electronic albums are surprisingly acceptable to babe and parents alike. All three are on Spotify. I first discovered him in this mix, which is great for writing to.
Zardoz is an awesome baby pseud. I need a better one. I hear Wry Cooter is still available.
infant sizing makes no sense
Boy is that ever true. We were given a 6M onesie that is approximately twice the size of a 12M onesie from the same company.
Teapot is on what sounds like a similar growth trajectory to the Calabat; median height and weight at birth, mid-80th percentile on both now. But most of the height is in his torso, and most of the weight is in his cheeks.
I'm stupider, less educated, and richer than ned. I blame America.
109: OK, drop me an email if you want to pursue this further. Unfortunately, I don't think we still have the onesie with "Calvin Klein" embroidered on the front (a gift), which I modified to say "[Ich b]in Klein."
Yes, but you're older than me. I can take over your job when you retire in 2065.
27: surely you don't think that you'll be retired by 90?
I don't think any of my ancestors lived to 90.
I haven't read Doctorow's Little Brother... Sally could learn a great deal of math and parkour just to, mm, be ready. The parkour would be terrifying for you, but math keeps people out of trouble. For a while.
Part of my day involves sitting outside in very hot weather on a little stool, doing nothing. It is mind numbingly boring, and sometimes the boredom becomes turns into intense physical discomfort. Being bored is something that isn't explored as much as it could be in academia, but it's a very integral part of many people's lives, especially the poor, around the world.
It's awful and grueling! Especially when your attention must be semi-focused and you can't just slip off into fantasy-land.
||
An acquaintance wants to spoof an IP address so that he can appear to be coming from different U.S. zip codes. He's testing how web sites react to input from different places.
I've seen ways to appear as though you're coming from a different country, but not from different zip codes within the U.S. Can this be done?
|
He could make some deliberate mis-spellings in an attempt to convince them he's from South Carolina.
131: I would read a book about boredom. Someone should write it. Boredom studies would be a really interesting thing to do. Ironic, I guess.
It's a good point - do animals, if adequately fed and exercised, get bored? (I'm thinking of the Gary Larson cartoon of two ecstatic dogs about to be fed, saying "Oh boy! It's dog food AGAIN!") How would we tell?
Don't polar bears sometimes develop obsessive behaviors in captivity? I'm not sure that's proof of boredom, but it's related.
138: well, humans develop obsessive behaviours not in captivity. It's possible that polar bears just have a naturally high incidence of OCD. Probably to do with it being so difficult to keep their white coats spotlessly clean.
Dostoyevski and Camus both touch on the topic-- Man from Undergound.
Isn't that pretty much all of Beckett?
Also David Foster Wallace in The Pale King -- from what I've read about it, not having actually read it.
A lot of zoo animals develop weird behaviors if they are not kept occupied with interesting stuff. Certainly primates show signs of boredom. Elephants can get quite distressed if not given sufficient stuff to do. I guess it's hard to separate the effects of confinement from boredom per se, so take with a grain of salt.
Are we saying that the small fish were even more bored than Heebie?
137: I take it you've never owned a cat.
Can I just say that I really enjoyed Finding Nemo. The pathological behavior of the confined community in the dentist's tank was really nicely done, one of many places in the film where basically very disturbing emotions are dealt with very nicely.
145: Almost certainly. They have to spend the rest of their lives surrounded by boring, small fish and children.
131: From this description, I can only conclude that Britta is a sniper.
There was a set piece in the last season of The Sopranos about boredom. I thought was the best thing about that season. The gay character successfully escapes from the mob, finds love, but can't tolerate his new life because his work chopping wood is just too boring. So he lies to himself that he can find a way to be accepted by the mob back in Jersey, and is beaten to death as soon as anyone finds out he's back in the state. One of the things I liked about the set piece was the way his boredom was depicted. It used typical tropes, like the character wondering if it's lunch yet when very little time had passed, but it did it in a quiet way, unafraid to take its time, giving the audience the sensation of how empty boredom feels.
Boredom is also nicely dealt with in Diary of a Call Girl.
I wrote this entire comment because I wanted to ask the hive mind a question: There's a movie I liked. It has also has a set piece that was my favorite thing about it. In fact, the set piece is the only thing I remember anymore. Two brothers, boys, are flirting online with an adult woman, pretending to be an adult man. The brother who starts it is a teenager, or at least 10 or 11. But he abandons the game, and his little brother, around 6, continues it over a period of weeks. Because he's six, he talks to her about poop, and the adult woman thinks they're having a very kinky scatological flirtation. Near the end of the movie, they make plans to meet in a park, and the woman sits on the bench for a long time next to the little boy before she puts everything together and leaves, humiliated and disturbed. What's the name of this movie?
Big Poop (Robert Zemeckis, 2003)
151 -- Miranda July's Me and You and Everyone We Know.
Ah, I sent someone else to review that one.
The work of Miranda July is an experiment in how unbearable and twee a female author can make a female character until someone admits that the character would be considered unbearable if she were created by a man.
I believe the officially acceptable position these days is to despise Miranda July, but I have to say that was a pretty good movie and has stuck with me.
The urine drinking scene with the Vietnamese crime lord was a little overlong, I thought.
Oh, hey, this is pertinent to what I was saying yesterday AND a pop culture request like Tia's! I just went to the girls' camp talent show on my lunch break and both of them were totally adorable, and I did give Mara a lot of praise for finding a group activity she enjoyed. Nia's class danced to Gangnam Style. Mara's class danced to something from the '80s about the beat that isn't "we got the beat!" and involved something about YOU in the chorus where they pointed at the audience. But as soon as I thought, "At least it wasn't 'We got the beat!'" I forgot what it actually was. Any guesses?
Vietnamese crime lords are known for rapidly chugging all drinks.
Moby, I really have no idea. It was a song I knew existed from its title, but it wasn't anything I'd ever listened to.
Out of my hat -- or possibly out of _Goon Park_ -- the belief that neurons die off steadily as we age comes from rats kept in perfectly physically healthy cages with no stimulus; when kept in interesting circumstances, their brains stay rat-healthier. Effect of boredom?
I can sing the song in Thorn's 158 in my head but am having the damndest time finding it due to Google's apparent preoccupation with the Go-Go's. It's an 80s dance song, most likely sung by black rather than white people, that goes "YOU got the beat YOU got the beat" and I can't remember any other lyrics.
Maybe one of you could hum a few bars and put it up so all of us can hear and guess.
Didn't someone here successfully communicate a song once by typing something like "You know, the one that goes 'Baah-dadadada-dum dum, whaa whaa'", at which point another commenter figured it out?
I remember being absolutely stunned that it had worked, but I can't remember who the people were.
Could it be this? Just found it by googling, and I haven't heard it.
http://www.metrolyrics.com/eat-to-the-beat-lyrics-blondie.html
It's not Blondie. I think Halford is right about it maybe. I really couldn't tell you the first thing about how it goes, and Mara has been making up totally unrelated lyrics. (Although hers were something about "You gotta FIGHT!" and that makes me think Halford's version is the right one.) Maybe he can doobie-doobie-doo enough that someone else will know it.
The Wee Papa Girl Rappers have a song called "You Got the Beat".
http://www.80sonspeed.com/article-wee-papa-girl-rappers-the-beat-the-rhyme-1988-57542774.html
Definitely not rap. Now I feel sort of bad that I have people googling furiously. I guess you have nothing better to do at work on a Friday afternoon, at least.
This is driving me crazy, made worse since I'm in my office and can't actually listen to music.
170: You should feel bad, Thorn! I have work to do!
171: Why can't you listen to music in your office?
It would trouble others.
The song is YOU (possibly "You've") got the beat - clap clap YOU got the beat", sung as part of a break, I think not really in the chorus.
Damn, I missed the baby/poop discussion? Cloth diaper covers are the way and the light for this problem. We use them on top of disposables for car trips - "defense in depth".
Didn't someone here successfully communicate a song once by typing something like "You know, the one that goes 'Baah-dadadada-dum dum, whaa whaa'", at which point another commenter figured it out?
Yes and, of course, it was Ttam who was showing off.
Looking at that now, I see that Ttam's comment identifying the song posted only five minutes after SP asked. That's impressive.
I'm a little punchy on this Friday afternoon -- I don't know why I'm capitalizing his name like that, but it's starting to make me think of Elfquest
Anyway, someone else can comment now.
Come on, that's like the easiest bah bah bahbah bum in the history of the world to identify. Everyone knows the riff from Iron Man.
(In case anyone's driving themselves mad trying to identify the song I was thinking of in 166, I wasn't thinking of anything, just typing random syllables.)
Miranda July-wise, I found The Future deeply moving, as someone who tries and mostly fails to make art. (These days I mostly fail to try, even.) Me and You and Everyone We Know is superb when it spends time with the kids, as in the section Tia references, but the childlike raptures of its adults don't hold up as well. Also Miranda July is my third cousin by marriage.
Boredom-wise allow me to recommend the work of Liz Goodstein, from whom I took a Boredom seminar many moons ago. We read Madame Bovary, Simmel and Krakauer, and really interesting books about trains and energy. I wrote a paper about Nirvana that I remember thinking was awesome at the time but probably was not entirely so.
You've-got-the-beat-wise, could it be You've got the music by Flash? Not at all 80's, but I could see a girls' dance class pointing at me and telling me I had the music and the beat.
I thought The Future was incredibly twee and I kept rolling my eyes and sighing during the cat voice-overs , to the great annoyance of my date.
Richard Brody and I have words for you (at the link in 181).
From Mara's dramatic reenactment, I can pretty much confirm it's "You Can't Stop the Beat" from Hairspray, which would explain why it sounded poppy and why I hadn't heard it before. I'm about to listen to a recording, but she can definitely enunciat the title as she sings and something about dancing feet that's in there too.
re: 179
To be fair, it is easy. I'm generally quite good at it, though, as per another comment in that thread, it's sort of an in-joke with some music friends.
bum bum bum bah-diddle-dum-dum-dum diddle-dum-dum-dum
Name the delightful tune.
186: Oh, man - my Spotify history will show I considered that, mostly on the basis of Halford's 174. I see I didn't trust that instinct enough!
Its verses also seemed like a heck of a challenge for singing children!
187: Some years ago (80s?) I recall hearing or reading a story about someone who figured out that if you merely noted for the first 16 notes of a song whether each note went up, down, or stayed the same relative to the preceding note you could pretty much uniquely identify all well-known songs and melodies. As I recall, Flight of the Bumble Bee and Sabre Dance might have been pathological examples. They had published a book with all of the patterns (which I have tried searching for but failed) and had also memorized almost all of them.
The Hairspray song is NOT the song I was thinking of. God damn it this is driving me crazy. Doesn't anyone else remember an 80's dance song with "YOU got the beat - dum dum YOU got the beat" in a break. Kind of a swinging beat behind it.
Also, now 187 is making me crazy. This thread is making me crazy!
Now I have that Junior/Senior song in my head.
re: 191
You sure you aren't thinking of this [the chorus line from about 2:10]:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr36ePM_oLg
[not heard it in ages, but the beat and guitar part sounds so great]
Also made me think of the sung chorus line from this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqLASPDC3_4
From about 35 secs in.
193 -- I don't think so, but now that (great) song has at least taken over my head space, so that's an advantage.
Last not a serious candidate, obviously.
191: In truth, I had supposed that neither one of you was thinking of the Hairspray song. I figured I was reminded of it mostly because I always have Broadway on the tip of my tongue - like looking for a lost thing where the light is best - and didn't believe in the end that Mara was singing it or that you were quoting it.
Boredom Studies should be an academic discipline.
re: 197
I remember mates getting paid to do some study when they were undergrads in which they were told they were being tested on some skill or other. When in fact, the test was testing how long it'd take them to get bored and stop.
In America, we called that work-study.
Since this seems to be the music thread, I must say that I am enjoying the Shirley Jones autobiography buzz. I don't think it has come up here yet*. Although I find her revelation that both her husband and his stepson, David Cassidy**, were well-endowed a bit unsettling. Also learned that she's from a small town outside of Pittsburgh and her family ran the Jones Brewing Co. which made Stoney's beer.
*The only Shirley Jones hit I get is this prescient 2006 comment from apo, I dunno, my mom's pretty hot in a Shirley Jones sort of way.
**And I am probably revealing that I am the only person here who did not realize that they were related in real life. My wife is being suitably contemptuous of my ignorance.
So, if this is the music thread, I would fain muse on the peculiarity of Ed Sullivan refusing to allow the Rolling Stones to perform "Let's Spend The Night Together" on his show in 1967. There were any number of pop songs of the period (as the Wikipedia entry for the song notes) which were just as sexually suggestive, if not more so. Listen to "Double Shot (of My Baby's Love)," for instance: It's nothing but pure smut! What was up with that wacky old Ed Sullivan, anyhow?
Also, I have a half-remembered chorus from a relatively recent pop song stuck in my head, but I can't remember anything else about it. I think it's a hip hop song, and the part I remember is a sample, and it sounds sorta like "dah dah-dah deeeEEEee" in a sorta whiny pitch. Drives me crazy trying to remember anything else about the song.
196: there are very few streets in NYC that one should lick even once, let alone continuously.
202: Well, they performed the song but with "some time together" and eyerolls (see at 51 secs. for instance). And sure, other "sexier" songs around at the time, but not necessarily on the Ed Sullivan show or other prime time TV. Several years later The Doors were famously banned for not changing "Girl, we couldn't get much higher" to "Girl, we couldn't get much better."
202: Did the other smutty songs make it on the Ed Sullivan show? Maybe it was literally about broadcast standards, as opposed to what you could get away with on a record.
200: I am probably revealing that I am the only person here who did not realize that they were related in real life.
Nope, I didn't realize that either. It puts a different cast on The Partridge Family, which I did love, and David Cassidy was my first girlhood crush. I had original Partridge Family albums -- long gone now -- which I listened to on the record player in the basement.* Not so much love for his younger brother Shawn, when he appeared on the scene.
*This isn't as creepy as it sounds.
You people are monsters. Now, "Come on get happy" is stuck in my head.
Oh my, anyone remember puka beads? Or puka shells. David Cassidy rocked those.
Men don't usually wear jewelry, but during the 70's, disco had gold medallions, and everyone else had the tribal-style puka. Authentic or imitation, as long as you had a surfer-style shell, you were way cool.
204/205: Wikipedia notes that they'd already played "Satisfaction" without incident on the show previously.
210: So the objectionable line in that would be? I guess "trying to make some girl." But not a repeated key lyrical element in the song I'd guess.
I don't think there's a lot of daylight between the suggestiveness of the two sets of lyrics.
Don't be silly, eggcorns weren't even invented yet.
213: Per 205, I suspect the issue was not the suggestiveness but rather the explicitness of the lyrics.
There's no shortage of suggestive lyrics in pop songs going back, way back. Jerry Lee Lewis anyone? Or how about all the blues and swingy or proto rock stuff Think Bessie Smith, e.g. Sugar in my Bowl or Ike Turner's 'Rocket 88' or Dinah Washington's 'Big Long Sliding Thing' for a few among countless examples. Or if you want white music, 'Fever' by Peggy Lee - she's not talking about the flu.
217: Of course. And varying standards of what got sung in clubs, got on vinyl, got radio airplay, and got on TV (especially prime time national shows).
My point here was that it's an awfully fuzzy line between "suggestive" and "explicit" in these lyrics. There's any number of much more anodyne, played-on-the-radio-and-tv pop songs of the period that are saying virtually the same thing. But somehow "let's spend the night together" was read as just slightly too risque for prime time TV. That's what seems bizarre. The song doesn't actually say "I want to have sex with you" any more explicitly than other hits of the period. So it is really a question of subjective suggestiveness.
||
So the NYT has endorsed Cory Booker for US Senate.
An odd endorsement. It notes that Rush Holt is the best legislator of the bunch, but that doesn't get him the tip. The Times starts the last paragraph with this: Some of Mr. Booker's opponents are trying to denigrate those assets -- his fame, his ability to work with Republicans, his coziness with the moneyed class.
Uh huh. That's why people should vote for him?
The Times knows who their target audience is and what their interests are.
Hey anybody who knows anything about the Affordable Care Act, can you explain this?
It loks to me like Pennsylvania got $33 million from the feds to prepare the IT and logistical groundwork for operating our own state health insurance exchange...but of course, we decided not to do it.
Is that right? How could we possibly have needed to spend $33M to come to that decision? Even if we got the grant before it was clear that Gov. Corbett would turn down the right to run our own exchange, they can't possibly have spent ALL that money on figuring that out, right?
How could we possibly have needed to spend $33M to come to that decision?
The collective "we" isn't so very bright around here.
Thank goodness for the private sector. (Not.)
Deborah Eisenberg has a story called "Days" that's about depression but also boredom, and very good. I actually think Miranda July's short stories are enjoyable, if not wholly memorable.
We can't talk about the literature of boredom (and the boredom of literature) without mentioning A Rebours.
From the link at 226:
According to an AP report, the contract, which was awarded in 2006 and is set to expire in 2013, is currently 42 months late and over $60 million above its original contract amount of $106.9 million. ... The state decided to end the contract after a US$800 000 assessment of the effort by the Software Engineering Institute (SEI) indicated that the critical objective of the modernization effort, namely a demonstrated "capability to reliably, consistently, and accurately process unemployment claims, calculate payments, and enable payment to eligible citizens who are out of work" doesn't yet exist, and apparently, there is no agreement when, if ever, such a capability will ever exist.
Sigh.
Oh, hey, the girls and I just got to this ridiculous music-and-light-show extravaganza and the Pops orchestra is going to play "You Can't Stop the Beat." Mara is thrilled!
Is that the song that everyone was trying to figure out?
It's hard being a rebel in Pauline Kael-land.
There's a certain sort of hyper-contrarian libertarianism that might be appealing to a rebellious teenager in an East Coast liberal enclave. Has Sally read any Ayn Rand?
232: Yep, the mystery song. Her verdict is that it doesn't sound so great when arranged for chorus, which seemed true to me as well. She strongly approved of the instrumental encore selection, Louie Louie.
233: Careful, Stanley. That way lies trapnel.
229: Could be mythical-man-monthish software incompetence, could be the boodle; or, I always wonder if our thorniest non-integrated, paper systems actually work, or if they just don't have enough checks and balances for anyone to tell what they're actually doing.
233, 235: Yes, an insane English teacher has already recommended The Fountainhead. She was unimpressed.
Maybe she should try the other one, Maps Shrugging or some shit.
