Moderation in pursuit of vice is a virtue.
And that's heebiephilia, not hebephilia, officer.
...were you attached to a woman who decided to forego reconstructive surgery?
Went looking for the quote from Don Lope in Tristana
...
Would the excess skin be left or removed?
Never much cared about tits, and the love of my life was a 32 B or something. As a leg man, the Tristana thing might bother me.
I remember a line from Promises in the Dark
"Well?" How does it look?"
"Abbreviated"
Hmm. Maybe I should have thought more about amputees when I was young, I do seem to have an interest. Off to google!
twisty posted her pictures, and she looked fine.
Boobs are great, and all, but it would be silly to make them a priority. If you love someone, you will still be attracted to them as their body changes.
were you attached to a woman who decided to forego reconstructive surgery?
No, handcuffs don't really do it for me.
Missed opportunity to title this post "No Titties, Hooray!"
7: What if their body turns into Hitler?
These aren't the boobs you're looking for.
He can go about his business.
Move along.
Hmm, I was going to post this in the sports thread, but it now seems more appropriate for this one. Because patriarchy. From a Dave Zirin interview with Wade Davis (an out former NFler who heads an organization called "You Can Play") 'Men Aren't Used to the Prospect of Being Objectified': Wade Davis on Michael Sam and Homophobia in the NFL. Most guys look terrible naked, and I should know. And, straight guys look too... there's a perception that straight guys don't check out other guys' penises, and that's a lie.
Comports with my locker room experience. And I'm sure straight women do so with other women. And somehow I'm pretending that is potentially relevant to the post.
Speaking of things you're not supposed to check out: part of the drop-off routine is that all the three year olds use the potty. So if you're on the same time schedule as another parent, you will see that kid's junk. Or help the kid use the potty, if the parent needed to duck out and the teachers are occupied, etc.
Anyway, there is a bigger range of three year old penises than I would have guessed.
13: We desperately need a longitudinal study.
I'm sure straight women do so with other women.
Straight women check out other women's penises? The women's locker room is stranger than I thought.
I'd miss them. But never say anything, not even to you people.
In the event, I'm sure they would.
The women's locker room is stranger than I thought.
"You cannot conceive, nor can I, of the appalling strangeness of the mercy of God.ladies locker room"
While 7 is correct, I agree with 16.
On the veldt, women could attract mates with either honesty or boobs.
22: but not in a way we can understand. Because anime.
I would miss them terribly. But 7 is right.
The idea of getting foreign material surgically implanted in my body freaks me out, so I think I would forgo. But I also think I'd still look natural and attractive in an androgynous kind of way because I'm very thin. If I had much in the way of hips I might be more torn.
I'd be mad as hell if my partner demanded implants though.
What if your heart was beating with a dangerous arrhythmia and your partner was sexually attracted to a consistent heart beat?
I will push back against 7 in that partner love and persistent sexy-time generating attraction can tragically come apart in my experience. Though this claim is orthogonal to non-boobality, which I think I'm down with.
I've been thinking about this the last few days, perhaps because of the prior post.
My wife's very well-endowed, a source of pleasure for both of us. But I've never had it high on my list in the abstract.
Speaking abstractly, in a hypothetical sense, I would not want breasts reconstructed for me, only if the woman really needed it for self image. It seems to me the essential difference due to mastectomy would be presence/absence of nipples. In their absence I'd be touching skin over a larger area, encompassing, caressing, I think. From there everything would depend on reaction and response.
They now offer a nipple-sparing mastectomy, so reconstructed breasts no longer look so odd. In a lot of ways, my decision was easier in 2001, when reconstructed breasts were more frankenstein.
This topic is my sole reservation. I wonder if I can get Jammies to quantify where he falls on the spectrum of 7 to 16.
I suspect it's really hard to know how you're going to react in advance.
Yes. I will admit that I was assuming yes to nipples.
Yeah. You can change your mind and get implants later on, but then you've missed your chance to keep your nipples.
A friend's mother (who is now deceased) had her foot amputated a few years ago, and he was surprised how unsettling he found it.
I'm presuming 34 means in a non-sexual way.
My mother had that laser cataract surgery a couple of years ago, and her eyes were good enough for awhile that she didn't need to use glasses anymore. That was really pretty unsettling, given that she's worn glasses my whole life. (I guess it was temporary though? So now she wears glasses again.)
Does the nipple-sparing surgery retain feeling in the nipples? It's really hard for me to know what my feelings would be in advance, but it seems to me that the loss of nipples would be a bigger deal sexually than the loss of the breast shape.
I think it varies wildly across individuals and time. They are trying to get rid of as much tissue as possible, while retaining enough blood supply to keep them alive. (We do have people here who can speak to this, better than I.)
My answer assumed nipple loss, which will probably continue to be necessary in some cases. Best outcome of course would amount to a breast reduction, but I doubt that will be universal.
Breasts, however beautiful and satisfying, are secondary.
Yeah, I think I'd be sad to lose my nipples (or to keep them without sensation), so after that, I could probably do without the fleshy bits. I don't fancy the idea of implants really (though might be different if faced with the reality!) - could see myself using those solid bras (whatever the proper word is) and might be fun to experiment with different looks, but would rather just be me underneath it.
Speaking from experience, I'd be initially put off by anxiety about hurting my partner after surgery. Then I'd get used to it.
Does the nipple-sparing surgery retain feeling in the nipples?
No, except for very, very few people. And it sucks.
I'm presuming 34 means in a non-sexual way.
Well, yes. I certainly hope so.
I love having my feet massaged and fondled, and my toes sucked. This would be a major loss for me, in a sexual way!
44: I think the hope was because of the part about it being his feelings toward his mother.
This is an issue I've been fretting about, probably prematurely. I have a family history of breast cancer (paternal grandmother and great grandmother). I've also watched two close friends go through treatment for breast cancer in the past few years. I've been putting off any kind of genetic testing because I honestly don't know how I'd handle a positive result. I, personally, can't imagine living without breasts (which makes me feel like a horrible feminist), and if I lost my nipples, or lost sensation in my nipples, I suspect that my enjoyment of sexy times would be severely compromised.
Regarding reconstruction, I was allowed to fondle both of my friends (this is a group that encourages fondling anyway, which I love and miss about them since we've all scattered across the globe post-grad school & medical residencies). I don't know if things have changed with time, but their new breasts felt much firmer and less pleasingly squishy than natural breasts. They looked great, though I found the lack of nipple disorienting. If I had a mastectomy I wouldn't risk keeping my nipples, and I wouldn't bother with nipple implants, but I would definitely go with nipple tattoos.
[Of course, I fully support women who forgo reconstruction, and I wish that we're something I felt more comfortable embracing as a possible future option for myself, should I ever have breast cancer.]
Oh, I do crochet fairly cute breast forms, should anyone require them. (People who "require" them for non-prospective purposes need to pay for them, though.)
I think I'd be inclined to wear the silicone things in my bra.
My aunt had a mastectomy of one breast after a lumpectomy failed. I think I would find it hard to walk around with one breast but not the other.
It's supposed to make archery easier.
It's supposed to make archery easier.
If you're a full-figured huntress who likes to roam the Central Asian steppes or maybe somewhere in North Africa, try the new Playtex Cross-Your-Bow Bra!
Look, they can't all be Grade-A material.
49. My mother likewise had a one sided mastectomy, but she seemed to adjust fairly easily. She went the padded bra route, said that she'd had enough invasive treatment, thank you very much.
My grandmother's only had one breast for almost 30 years now, though she mostly wears a filled bra. To the OP, I thought all the women in the photos I saw were as attractive as anyone else. I don't think I'd have a hard time with a partner making that choice. In some ways it might be emotionally/mentaly easier than dealing with reconstruction.
||
I have a friend who used to be a Christian Scientist whose best friend's wife just died. She was only 38, and they have a 6 year-old adopted child. What's so hard for my friend is that they didn't use any medicine. Maybe she would have died anyway, but it's still a tough situation to support someone through. He doesn't know what killed her; Christian Scientists don't like to talk about their ailments. It's a sign of how close they were that he knew she was sick at all.
|>
I'd prefer reconstruction, because titties hooray, but if my partner wasn't into it I'm sure I would adjust, and I wouldn't be pushy about it because I'm not a dick. In the big picture I'd honestly be more worried that my partner feel sexy than anything else, both because I care that she feels good and because sex is better when you both feel confident in your attractiveness.
In the end of the day relief at having dodged a bullet would overwhelm everything else.
Maybe it'll be one of those things like how un-endowed men double-down in the bedroom to compensate and become great lovers. I'll become creative and adventurous.
Also Jammies and I were chatting about this thread yesterday, and he was like "of course I'll miss them, but if I were you there would be no way in hell I'd get implants" which is a very convincingly supportive thing to say.
Of course you could get sexy cover-up tattoos, like maybe those nude outline ladies truckers put on their mudflaps.
With really high, surprised eyebrows. Perpetually shocked.
60, 61: perhaps Frank Sidebottom.
Would look even better lower down and on a woman.
What about that drawing of a guy peeking over a wall, so that his nose hangs over? Sort of a standard middle school sketch. Maybe that's better suited for a man.
Is that your way of volunteering?
I asked C and he said that if the normal sensation was no longer there, then what would be the point of implants? That he wouldn't be particularly interested in them if they didn't DO anything.
And then we moved onto wondering about buttockectomies.
Tattoos seem good though - I found the blankness in those photos the oddest thing, not the flatness.
And then we moved onto wondering about buttockectomies.
OK if you never want to walk again.
I think you should just get tattoos of two breasts. You know, with nipples and realistic shading.
Omg, I just found a $1200 check from right after Ace was born that I stuck in the wrong spot and never deposited. Void after 90 days. I feel practically sick to my stomach.
(I photo-deposited but I doubt that will actually work.)
I'm sorry to learn you may pay such a penalty for the change due to motherhood in your memory and attention. Doesn't help that it's temporary.
In many relationships the woman looks after certain details, and with the first child those just get dropped without a trace. Happened to us.
71.last - That's my first impression, too. I think tats would definitely make a big difference. I was ready to be sort of bothered by the images, but really they just look like people. One thing that did seem odd to me was the degree of scarring. I really thought they could do better than that these days.
74: Just means that piece of paper is void. If it's not a personal check, you can probably ask to have it reissued, since a business' records would show it hasn't been deposited. (The boyfriend tends to put papers away when he cleans, and if they're not out on a counter, I forget they exist.)
I do have tats planned, for the record. A ring of kittens running circles around my torso, like one of those moving picture devices with the slits from the 1800s.
77: ok, good point. It's from Heebie U, reimbursing me for a bunch of purchases I made on their behalf. I'm slightly worried that it's from last fiscal year, though.
78 That just cries out for the full Lord Beresford treatment.
73: Once you do that, you could do the fully lego treatment and also tattoo a skinnier curvier body on your body. http://www.hypable.com/2014/02/23/pieces-what-the-lego-movie-taught-me-about-toys-and-equality/
78: So with a correctly times strobe you can pirouette and it will look like they are scampering around!
You could get a magic eye tattoo of breasts there. Be sure to have some invisible ones done with the blacklight-active ink.
71: if the normal sensation was no longer there, then what would be the point of implants? That he wouldn't be particularly interested in them if they didn't DO anything.
Has this thread wandered yet into the question of nipple sensitivity in men? That is, some men get all titillated (heh) by stimulation of their nipples, and some just ... don't. In my own view, it's nice if they do, but it's fine if they don't.
I'd been thinking yesterday with regard to this thread that the same line of thinking would be true for women: you got nipple turn-on-ification? Great. You don't? Okay, we'll move on to the other things.
This doesn't address a woman's sheer missing of the nipple turn-on-ification; I gather from this thread that nipple sensitivity can rarely be preserved.
I'm surprised by how many people in this thread are saying they would care. Not like I don't enjoy my girlfriend's boobs when we have sex, but in their absence I would just pay attention to/appreciate some other pleasant sex characteristic.
Former gf had a "nipple-sparing" mastectomy, meaning that the surgeons removed the nipple and areola and sewed it back on afterwards. No normal sensation left, which can be a big deal depending on how much it figures into your sexual response. If you already have issues around sex, as we did during the precipitous decline of her libido, it may exacerbate things. If not, great.
if the normal sensation was no longer there, then what would be the point of implants?
Contributors to online discussions about this often stress the potential psychological benefit of maintaining something like your pre-mastectomy appearance. Following major surgery that may change your sense of self (and your sexual response), you may take comfort in not having people stare at your now-boobless self, or even in just being able to put on clothes you like and still having them fit the same way. Maybe not—lots of women do just fine without reconstruction—but it's worth considering.
88.2 That wasn't me asking, that was my male partner saying that he wouldn't want to fondle breasts that didn't provide much/any sexual pleasure for the breast-owner. That it would have as much point as rubbing someone's elbow.
I certainly understand the desire to 'look normal'.
And god almighty, I hate the word boobs.
I wonder if Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is on Netflix. For no reason at all, I wonder this.
90: So this is probably not asilon's favorite Fugs song.
89.1 was the Dwarf Lord's response, too, although he then thought of his fine collection of Bakelite knobs and pots that aren't connected to anything, not my elbow.
