Re: Stop Hurting Your Chidlren

1

I guess I should look at the underlying study, but is there any controls for the potential of the causality going the other way in many cases?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04-14-14 4:28 PM
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2

By the horridness of one's offspring causing the quality of one's "help" to suffer?


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 04-14-14 4:34 PM
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3

In the sense that some (or many)cases, parent's might be acting rationally in recognizing that their children might need more "checking in with the teacher" and similar. That those who have academically-struggling children and are trying (probably inadequate) to intervene. If they are flourishing, they might be more inclined to let things be (maybe only outside of the "striving UMC pushers" demographic, however).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04-14-14 5:39 PM
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4

Have no idea what "horridness" may be referring to.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04-14-14 5:40 PM
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5

We could guess.


Posted by: Opinionated Ma and Pa Menendez | Link to this comment | 04-14-14 5:44 PM
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6

Our school was certainly excelling at PTA non-attendance tonight, so it's good to hear that it can correlate with achievement. (Just being jerky, really; it's because most of the families attending walk and so if it's raining they won't bother and it will just be those of us who are running the meeting and whatever kids we bring.)


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-14-14 8:14 PM
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7

Highly educated unfogged commentariat, if you want to help the younger generation more productively than by cluttering up your relationship with your already massively advantaged children but do not have what it takes to commit a la Thorn, allow me to continue my annoying boosterism for finding a way to engage in professionally-centered, structured mentoring of middle school and high schoolers. The linked article in the OP and the one I forwarded to heebie earlier are quite specific about what DOES help: talking to kids about college and engaging with them specifically about what is going on in their school life. This is EXACTLY what you do with kids when you are working within some kind of professionally-centered mentoring situation, like mock trial (someone else who comments has done something similar from an engineering background, although I think worked with elementary school age children). You are forming personal relationships across class and (sometimes, depends on the community obviously) racial divides, but around the content of tackling a specific intellectual challenge. So you are meeting the kids on a kind of neutral terrain, but in a situation where you can demonstrate to them over the medium and long term that you really and truly are invested in their success. All this in addition to giving them practical skills, intellectual, emotional, social!

And the biggest plus: YOU ARE NOT THEIR PARENTS so they just might listen to you.

Personally, I would never do this for kids as advantaged as my own, but that's just my own politics showing.

At any rate, with your own progeny, relax and enjoy the really beautiful manners you have labored to instill in your poor oppressed off spring. Or not, if you have been lured down the lizardbreathian path. But at any rate don't sweat the effort you do not expend chivvying them along academically, it wouldn't do any good anyways.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 04-14-14 9:17 PM
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8

I don't have a chidl of school age yet, but when my first chidl goes to school I will be sure to remember this article, and try its advice on the first chidl, and when the second chidl goes to school, I will continue to use the advice presented in the article on the second chidl if it seemed to work back when I tried it on the first chidl.


Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 04-15-14 3:48 AM
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9

Hey, dairy queen, Selah's latest thing she says consistently is "thank you!" and it's adorable!


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-15-14 4:12 AM
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I don't have a chidl of school age yet

Cannibalistic Humanide Indergrind Dwelling Lifeform. First discovered, named (and shot) by Prince Philip.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-15-14 5:15 AM
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For people who do want to help kids academically, I was reading for an academic team tournament over the weekend and it's always striking how disadvantaged on many levels the poorer schools are. There are probably some nerds here who could run Ridgeview Lite for some underprivileged quizbowl team and have a lot of fun with it.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-15-14 5:53 AM
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8 is amazing. How long had the post been up? We, as a community, have flaled.

I belieeeeeeve the chidlren are our futrue. Teach them wlel and let them lead the wya. Show them all the buaety they psosses indsie!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-15-14 6:07 AM
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13

Seldom is it asked, is our FPPs laerning?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04-15-14 6:26 AM
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14

1 - That's my thing. and I'm not sure how you *could* control for it. I will say that between my brother and myself, they were much more involved with me and my brother. My brother had better grades and a better disciplinary record. So statistically speaking, we are two data points indicating negative results.

Except that's completely wrong.

And how could the study control for that?


Posted by: Trumwill | Link to this comment | 04-15-14 7:08 AM
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Thorn that is lovely! Love raising amusing conversationalists in house, like banking charming companions for old age.

How is the broken leg coming along?


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 04-15-14 8:54 AM
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She has "April 25 - Mara's cast comes off!" listed on the calendar her class uses every morning (to learn about dates and spelling and counting the number of days and I don't know what else) and has a running tally of how many more days she has to wait. And speaking of running, that's what she does way more than she's supposed to. The cast isn't holding her back at all!

Selah is so cute and charming and she clearly saw that "den-doo!" when anyone gives her anything was a big hit. She also learned to say "Grandma" last night, so she's learning to go for the easy targets too. Smart kid!


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-15-14 9:06 AM
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I had never before encountered your appeal dairy queen and find it fascinating and potentially compelling. May get in touch once I've cleared my brain of jetlag!


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 04-15-14 1:57 PM
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