Re: Footy

1

Allez les Fennecs!


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 1:51 PM
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If Algeria wins it will be France 1 vs. France 2 (16 Algerian players born in France).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 1:58 PM
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Gott erhalte Franz den kaiser is a far better piece of music for an anthem. Go Germany!


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 2:01 PM
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So today is Europe vs. Africa day, right? I like how the days have been themed - South America day, Europe vs. Central America day, and then giant Western Hemisphere countries vs. tiny partially francophone European countries tomorrow.


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 2:02 PM
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2: as someone said on Twitter, on Friday we get the relay if either the Franco-Prussian War of 1870 or the Battle of Algiers.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 2:11 PM
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This is a pretty scintillating game at the moment.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 2:38 PM
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Yeah, they just mentioned that the goals had dropped off from the group stage, but it's not like most of the games have been any worse.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 2:41 PM
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8

Oof.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 2:58 PM
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9

Does that qualify as a Rabona goal?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 3:07 PM
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New rule: the ref can signal for stretcher whenever he feels like it, and the player *must* be stretchered off, or else gets a yc... maybe not for goalkeepers *only*


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 3:22 PM
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11

This is terrible. My Muslim brothers!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 3:23 PM
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12

Oh Jesus.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 3:31 PM
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At least it's not ending on penalties.

[Trolling omitted.]


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 3:34 PM
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Stopped watching a few minutes before the last two goals (because I really had to go back to work). That's kind of the story of this world cup for me.


Posted by: David the Unfogged Commenter | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 3:51 PM
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11: but Özil!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 4:01 PM
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Hey, I'm actually going to watch tomorrow's game, and in circumstances where my near-total ignorance won't require hiding. 4 pm Happy Hour sounds good to me.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-30-14 7:17 PM
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Tiny partially francophone European country doing surprisingly well so far.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:00 AM
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18

Like it.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:03 AM
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Yeah but that's the tiny, partially francophone European country whose name isn't horribly offensive on almost every planet in the known galaxy. Good on them.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:05 AM
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20

19 to 17.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:06 AM
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21

LET'S GO PRISTINE WELL FINANCED UNDERGROUND LAIRS.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:08 AM
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It occurs to me that the joke in 19 might actually be lost on chris y. It's your nation's greatest gift to us, chris! Now more than ever!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:15 AM
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23

I knew that at the time, but I'd forgotten it.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:32 AM
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Wait, did they just say that shot went through two different defenders legs?


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:36 AM
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24: only two?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:39 AM
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So, Nadal v Kyrgios, pretty exciting, huh?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:49 AM
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Apparently!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:54 AM
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LET'S GO PRISTINE WELL FINANCED UNDERGROUND LAIRS.

Wait, are we cheering for the people who hid the Nazis' money, or the people who hid the Nazis?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:58 AM
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18 really is quite clever.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:00 AM
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As Jammies just said, "Why don't they just start off in sudden death? Why have full overtime periods at all?" That'd be an easy partial fix.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:03 AM
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Current Nadal-Kyrgios status, per the Guardian:

ohmeohmyohmeohmyohmeohmy


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:05 AM
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30: You're forgetting that famous game where a team came from behind during extra time. Do you want to ruin memories?!


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:15 AM
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Who is the Argentine guy with the male pattern baldness+one wispy braid look? That's a unique one.

I like Switzerland and hope they pull it off but can't really hate on Argentina because of Argentina's commitment to beef.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:17 AM
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Go team-with-Messi!


Posted by: dz | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:19 AM
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30, 32: "The golden goal (aka sudden death overtime) rule was introduced to stimulate offensive flair and to effectively reduce the number of penalty shootouts. However, it was widely thought that golden goal rules encouraged teams to play more defensively to safeguard against a loss. Teams often placed more emphasis on not conceding a goal rather than scoring a goal, and many golden-goal extra time periods remained scoreless" sez Wikipedia.


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:22 AM
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I'm of mixed mind on this one. Argentina keeps alive the prospect of the greatest continental sporting one-upmanship of all time (Argentina winning in Brazil*).

If it happens, I'd see Brazil lobbying hard for Argentina to host in the relatively near future to give them a chance to remove the shame.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:24 AM
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37

That doesn't make sense to me. It's clear, though, that the possibility of going to penalty kicks encourages the weaker team to play defensively.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:26 AM
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Apparently sudden-death overtime exacerbated that tendency. Or so people thought, after they'd tried it for a decade or so.


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:27 AM
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Wait, how did that happen? I thought the iron law of soccer meant that no team could score when teams are tired in overtime.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:29 AM
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There are no iron laws for Messi.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:29 AM
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The 538 article making the case that Messi is confusingly better than everybody at everything was pretty compelling.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:30 AM
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39: Your trolling has no power here, imperialist yanqui dog.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:32 AM
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GodDAMN sorry Swiss. That's gotta hurt.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:32 AM
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44

Well, that was interesting.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:32 AM
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45

It's been a bit funny in the knockout rounds the higher seeds seem to have struggled a lot more than expected, but yet there hasn't been a single upset.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:38 AM
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35, 38: see the grandfather thread. The rule didn't remove the wait until penalties strategy. I don't know why they did it. Extra time is not a problem.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:39 AM
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I'm really glad I didn't realize how well Univision streams on my phone until recently. I may run out of data this month.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:44 AM
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The Univision streams are really nice. Incredibly crisp on my iPad, and nice on my phone, too.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:48 AM
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Actually they have been better on my ipad than any of the streams I've tried on my computer, which I suspect might be an issue of flash being shitty, more or less.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:49 AM
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This could be a tough one for you guys. </insightful>


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 12:47 PM
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51

I am actually watching in a bar this time. That should help.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 12:50 PM
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52

My work is watching in a meeting room. The CEO is here,so that makes it ok.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 12:55 PM
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I'm watching with commentary in German on the world's crappiest hotel-room TV. German is much closer to white noise for me than Spanish, which takes away the funny mental ticklishness of almost but not quite getting what they're saying.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 1:07 PM
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54

We're not looking bad.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 1:21 PM
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55

Why is Neb Nosflow's hair playing for Belgium?


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 1:25 PM
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I guess that's the one that on my TV screen is a slightly fuzzier spot than the other fuzzy spots moving around.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 1:29 PM
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54: not, like, good, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 1:32 PM
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We should take those Mexican kids being dropped off at the border and make them either milers or soccer players. Win-win!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 1:33 PM
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not, like, good, though

She meant their asses.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 1:33 PM
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60

Haha sorry Kompany.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 1:42 PM
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Belgium is such a lame country that it barely rates making fun of them. Who is the most famous Belgian in the past 50 years? Jean-Claude Van Damme? Whoever ran that giant child sex ring?


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 1:54 PM
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62

Dr. Evil is Belgian


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:07 PM
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Belgium is the most offensive word in the galaxy!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:09 PM
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Snippet for top Google result for search for [famous Belgians]:

"What is behind this world-wide perception that there are no famous Belgians?"


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:10 PM
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Chocolate. But they only use that to get to the kiddies.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:10 PM
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66

The players are too tired out after running around for 50 minutes to score. This game is going to penalty kicks.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:12 PM
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67

Harumph.


Posted by: OPINIONATED BRUGES | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:16 PM
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Belgium can boast Lemaitre, who not only proposed the Big Bang theory, but wanted to call it by the objectively superior name of the Primeval Atom. I think Dr. Frankenstein tapped the energies of the Primeval Atom to create his monster.

Switzerland can boast Euler and Einstein, but it didn't help them against Argentina.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:17 PM
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Who is the most famous Belgian in the past 50 years?

To take this seriously, because it gets at something interesting: there's a whole Francophone world that's parallel and invisible to the Anglophone world. So there are lots of French-speakers who are legitimately world famous, but we've never heard of them.

Anyway, I must have told this story. I was at a fancy French restaurant in San Francisco and didn't recognize a piece of silverware, so I asked what it was for. The waiter didn't know either so he went in the kitchen to ask. Someone else came out, told us what it was (I've forgotten) and then said, gesturing in the direction of the first waiter with a "waddayagonnado?" expression, "He's Belgian."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:19 PM
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67: You've got to stick to you principles.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:25 PM
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Even limited to the Francophone world I think it's Van Damme and the child molester. Herge, I guess, but not really of the last 50 years.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:27 PM
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||

anyone have a link to the original "analogy ban" post? I'm trying to explain to someone why analogies are terrible.

|>


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:28 PM
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||

ah whoops that wasn't that hard

|>


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:30 PM
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The analogy ban has made me a better writer, I think. Maybe piddling to mediocre, but still progress.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:32 PM
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I'm no longer watching the game so let me know what happens.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:36 PM
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Belgium just failed to score. Again.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:37 PM
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Oh look, I have a streaming device. Neat.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:39 PM
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71. Ilya Prigogine, Henri Pirenne, Jacques Brel. Whoever managed to get France and Germany to invest so much in Brussels and simultaneously to remain anonymous.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:44 PM
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I think Tim Howard deserves a break now.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:50 PM
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Oooooh, stoppage time. What happens if they tie?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:50 PM
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Jesus, Wondo. YOU HAD ONE JOB.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:53 PM
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Donovan would have put it in.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:54 PM
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I have a stomach ache.


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:54 PM
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I guess we'll see whether or not it is literally impossible to play offense in overtime.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:54 PM
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This list of famous Belgians includes such luminaries as a "world-famous clockmaker", "Belgium's funniest comedian", and two Olympic bronze medal winners in judo.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:55 PM
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85: I didn't know that a Belgian began the Beguines.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:57 PM
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Audrey Hepburn was Belgian? I had no idea.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 2:59 PM
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Oy.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:00 PM
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Fuck


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:00 PM
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87: I thought she was Dutch.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:01 PM
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91

If Tine Reymer popped in and asked me to have a beer, I probably would.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:09 PM
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92

Well that's even worse.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:13 PM
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93

Tim Howard deserves better than this back line.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:15 PM
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94

She can buy, if that makes it any better.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:16 PM
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95

Bound to happen.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:16 PM
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96

:'-(


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:17 PM
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The fact that Wondolowski's life isn't ruined is why the US isn't a world power in soccer.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:17 PM
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Hey, how bout that?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:19 PM
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99

Now maybe they'll tie!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:20 PM
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100

That's it. Low expectations.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:23 PM
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101

Are we cleverly running out the clock on purpose? Because strategy?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:23 PM
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102

Zwei minuten noch.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:29 PM
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Wait, there's still time? My German isn't up to this.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:31 PM
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It's only sportsmanlike to give the US extra time to tie it up so that we can go to penalty kicks.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:32 PM
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US games have been entertaining if nothing else.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:33 PM
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106

Penalties averted!


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:35 PM
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107

Fortunately, Greece and Costa Rica already proved that it's impossible to play exciting soccer late.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:36 PM
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108

Well at least we can be excited for the Julian Green era. Lets hope his last World Cup touch is a goal too.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:42 PM
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Twitter is pretty funny. Tim Howard for President, Tim Howard for Pope, Tim Howard for Caliph, rename the country USTH, diff bet TH and Jesus is that Jesus had 11 guys he could trust, etc, etc.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:48 PM
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110

I hear baseball is nice. Maybe I'll switch to watching that.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:51 PM
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111

That was a cracking game. US pretty good, too.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:55 PM
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112

http://screamer.deadspin.com/all-16-of-tim-howards-saves-in-one-video-1598793728?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 3:55 PM
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Leaving the dead horse aside, that really was an exciting game.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 4:08 PM
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Yes that was a great game [which would have been better if the players hadn't had to play in that extremely dull, purely defensive overtime, amirite]. Now who should I root for? I guess Argentina because of its commitment to meat eating, attractive personal appearances, and metal fandom. Or maybe France.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 4:41 PM
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I'm rooting for Germany because of Blume. You can do that to, if you want. Won't hurt my feelings or whatever.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 4:49 PM
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116

France is terrible, though. Don't do that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 4:49 PM
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117

I'm sure you all noticed that everyone was so tired in overtime that after 90 scoreless minutes the two guys who were fresh each scored within about two minutes of coming in.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 4:50 PM
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118

And yet soccer is limited to three substitutions, no matter how long the game lasts, because that's what it said on the third tablet given to Moses at Sinai (the one he dropped). If only there was some way to change the will of God Almighty.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 4:56 PM
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119

Did you look in the Book of Mormon? It's said to be very different and I think it's in most hotel rooms.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 4:58 PM
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120

TALK TO MARADONA'S HAND


Posted by: GOD | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 4:58 PM
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121

I'll really miss the US. So entertaining matches, so much heart. Also they remind me of Sweden.


Posted by: David the Unfogged Commenter | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 4:58 PM
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122

The Germans are the Yankees, Sifu. Netherlands are the Red Sox.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 5:00 PM
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123

And yet soccer is limited to three substitutions

If the first game ends in a tie, let's have a second game played by the second string.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 5:00 PM
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124

I'm rooting for Colombia: an unexpectedly great team, a brilliant young striker, and they defeated the hated Uruguay to boot. What's not to like?


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 5:01 PM
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125

The Book of Mormon only covers the Most Dangerous Game: jai alai.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 5:01 PM
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126

Watch out if Belgium becomes a team instead of a passel of sometimes-cooperative individuals.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 5:04 PM
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127

France is terrible, though. Don't do that.

It's like, how much more wrong could you be? And the answer is none. None more wrong.

Also, I'll be rooting for France just so they can avenge this. (Skip to ~58 seconds in. Not for the faint of heart.)


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 5:17 PM
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128

122: can't fool me, Walt. The Red Sox aren't a country yet.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 5:52 PM
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129

Colombia is my second rooting interest because I have a Colombian FB friend and oh me gee the FEEELINGS he is having.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 5:53 PM
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I'm rooting for Colombia because one of my brothers is Colombian. It's a bit tenuous since he's the brother who doesn't care about sports, but still seems a better reason than "I happened to be in the Netherlands for Euro 2004."


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 6:13 PM
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126: But teams are supposed to represent the spirit of their country!


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 6:32 PM
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132

Time to support Germany. My BIL (and my niece) being nationals gives me an interest in their interest.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 6:41 PM
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133

No love for Costa Rica?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 6:42 PM
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134

CONCACAF!!!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 6:45 PM
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135

"Try not the Pass!" the old man said;
"Dark lowers the tempest overhead,
The roaring torrent is deep and wide!"
And loud that clarion voice replied,

CONCACAF!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 6:58 PM
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136

I guess by the power of meat Argentina it is. Time to adopt the Roberto Peron persona.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 7:48 PM
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137

Despite the fact that John Yoo just got an endowed chair, I understand that we want to pretend to be a civilized country, so no one is calling for Wondolowski's murder or suicide. Fine. But can we at least make "wondo" the word for screwing up something really easy and really important? Remember when that NASA mission went awry because they forgot to convert between metric and imperial units? Total wondo. Remember when Rahm Emanuel stuck his finger in Tony Blair's face and said "Don't wondo this"?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 8:05 PM
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138

Wondo-er in the Waste Land, by Zane Grey


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 8:27 PM
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139

137: The only consolation is that the flag was already up, so even if he'd put it in it would have been ruled offsides. (Incorrectly, but that's the game for you.)

And seriously, people, did you not click the link in 127?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 8:52 PM
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140

I thought they later said the flag was for goal kick, not offsides.

I'd seen that clip. I find it a little weird that soccer fans refer to games decades ago as if they have any bearing on current games. But I don't have a real nationalistic streak, so maybe that's it.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 9:07 PM
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141

History started with the latest competition, huh?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 9:56 PM
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142

Whenever I see "USMNT" in my FB feed (a lot, lately, but probably less from now on) I immediately interpret it as "US Mutant Ninja Turtles." Maybe this should go in the 90s thread.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:42 PM
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143

140.last is odd coming from a Shi'a.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:55 PM
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142: I think US Mint.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 10:57 PM
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140.last is basically what's wrong with American sport.


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:00 PM
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Americans are known for their lack of national feeling.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 1-14 11:03 PM
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It's because in other countries they nurse historical grudges forever and ever, while Americans only look to the future. Try bringing up 1966 to a German.

(This a lie of course, otherwise the movie Buffalo 66 couldn't exist.)


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07- 2-14 12:24 AM
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78. Whoever managed to get France and Germany to invest so much in Brussels and simultaneously to remain anonymous.

That would be Paul-Henri Spaak, who was so committed to the idea of unity that he even managed to have a name which was half French and half Flemish. He lived in the olden days, when it was possible for politicians outside Alabama to be plug ugly, because they weren't on television all the time.

Great game. The US weren't robbed, but it was fucking close. I don't think it matters who you root for from here. None of the traditional greats are at their best, so it's wide open. I'm going with Costa Rica in the quarters, as the most unlikely survivors.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 2-14 1:01 AM
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Audrey Hepburn was born in Belgium, but her father was British and her mother was Dutch. I believe she used a British passport. Her parents were Nazi sympathisers.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 2-14 1:16 AM
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128: So "Red Sox Nation" is a lie? /crushed

The thing I noticed about the Belgians is that they had velcro or glue on their shoes, while by contrast if two Americans in a row made successful passes it was a miracle. On the good side I think the Belgians found that style of play disconcerting.


Posted by: DaveLMA | Link to this comment | 07- 2-14 6:15 AM
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Great game. The US weren't robbed, but it was fucking close.

This was my opinion. Belgium clearly has the better players, but we held it together to avoid being outclassed by them and got in the game enough to be dangerous on occasion. We also have Tim Howard. We deserved that score, and it reflects how the game was played on the whole (Belgium a majority of possession and shots on goal, but we hung in there and kept it close and made an occasional threat on the goal). I would have like a USA!!! USA!! win, but I'm ok with the Belgium win. I'll have to root for CONCACAF against the Dutch!

I've been assuming Americans would be jingoistic wrt our national teams, but thinking about it a little more I'm not sure that's accurate. We're regionally jingoistic, but anything we play internationally we don't care that much about. Most Americans don't really give a damn about Olympic sports or Olympic versions of sports (e.g. no American cares about Olympic basketball). Not doing well at gymnastics or soccer or water polo isn't going the break the hearts of the nation, even if we get some interest every four years. Unlike, say, x-country skiing and Norway, where the women's relay team's underperformance and the "wax-gate" scandal was a national crisis.

Maybe Americans will develop a strong national sports identity, or maybe not.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 2-14 9:36 PM
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151: I think you're pretty much absolutely backwards. We have no particular big interest in the particular sports contested at the olympics except basketball, and only care about the Olympics w/r/t Team USA's collective performance and performance in what we deem the "status" events--the sprint events in athletics and swimming, and core gymnastics.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 6:09 AM
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152: But compared to other countries, though?


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 6:22 AM
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I only watch volleyball, for the athleticism. Otherwise, my interest depends on which events I have McD's prize pieces for.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 6:34 AM
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153: Sorry, I'm failing to understand that question. I think compared to anyone our jingoism is about level. Except Belgium, perhaps, where it is much attenuated.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 6:46 AM
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154: I watch the hell out of bvb. It is an awesome game. I wish handball got more convenient broadcast slots, b/c likewise.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 6:47 AM
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Outside of Nike commercials and NBC anchor people and the people in their sappy Olympics "life-interest stories," do Americans really care about the Olympics all that much? I'm not so sure. Yeah, we care about Olympic basketball more than other Olympics sports, but that's like, caring about it maybe 25% instead of 5%, or -1%. There's no comparison to how people feel about the NBA. If a kid asked you what made Michael Jordan a great basketball player, you wouldn't be like, "Because he won the gold medal in the Olympics. Dream Team 4ever!"

Also, I have never heard an ordinary Americans bring up the Olympics in sports talk during off season (aka 3 years and 11 months when the Olympics are not happening), nor do they talk about the Olympic performances of other countries.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 8:11 AM
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157: yes, and? What in the world is there to care about in the off season--as I said, we don't care about the particular sports really at all, and only care about the Olympics in a Jingoist sense.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 9:08 AM
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Maybe I'm understanding your use of "jingoist" and "care" idiosyncratically?


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 9:38 AM
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157, 58 -- TV ratings and general interest in the United States for the Olympics substantially exceed those for the World Cup (as well all domestic sporting events except the NFL playoffs and the Superbowl, which beat the Olympics).

US/Belgium had about 16.5m viewers (impressive!), but the Sochi games telecast averaged 21 million per night for the prime time telecast (which was low) and the London 2012 games averaged over 30 million viewers per night. There's huge Olympic interest in the US.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 9:45 AM
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I know so many people who watch the opening and closing ceremonies. I don't even understand why, except I'm glad I got to see the circle not open. I guess I'm saying that maybe it isn't jingoism, but simply a love of spectacle or because nothing else is on the TV.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 9:47 AM
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The Olympics show that there's obviously a huge, passionate US audience ready to cheer on the national team in once every four year competitions (for reasons that I'd put at 33% spectacle loving, 33% nationalism, 33% its fun to get amped up for a little bit as a casual fan in some huge international competition) but that doesn't care much at all when that four-year event isn't happening.

I think World Cup soccer is likely to end up at about that level. However, to be clear, that means that World Cup soccer is and will remain a really big sports event in the US.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:08 AM
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I continue to disagree that's where *soccer* ends up--I see absolutely no reason it won't eclipse NHL. Cold whiteys are a shrinking population demo, Rob.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:11 AM
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With respect to the Olympics, I think this pattern is close to universal, with the exception of a few events which happen to be popular in this or that country. In between Olympics nobody gives a flying fuck about pole vaulting, kayak racing or skeleton. The only possible exception being Marathon running, because it's a mass participation activity for entirely different reasons.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:17 AM
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Maybe someday it beats the NHL, who knows. Right now US ratings, interest, and money for the NHL are around 2-3 times that of major league soccer and/or non World Cup international soccer.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:18 AM
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The point I am trying to make is Americans care about local sports far more than sports which we play internationally. This mostly true everywhere, but it seems more so in the US. So, an English person probably cares more about his/her local Premier League club than team England, but s/he cares about team England more than an American cares about team USA.

By 'off season' I mean that out of season, Americans will bring up football, basketball, and baseball teams and past memorable performances, and there will be long-term regional rivalries that are a part of local culture. If you're a big basketball fan and you meet someone from Chicago, you might make a Bulls reference, regardless of whether it's actually basketball season. IME Americans absolutely do not bring up another country's Olympic athletic performance as a form of small talk. E.g. if you meet an Austrian, as an American you're probably not going to drop a reference to Hermann Maier, but you might if you're German or Italian or Swiss. Relatedly, we don't really have set international sports rivals. Maybe you could argue that the USSR was our international sports rivals, and we all cared about the Olympics back then. I don't really know if Olympics or other international sporting events were more popular through the Cold War.

But anyways, the relevant stats would be the difference between Olympics & WC vs. Superbowl, NBA finals, March Madness, World Series, etc. Google shows the latest Superbowl had over 110 million viewers. In that context, an audience of 30 million is not 'huge.'
Secondly, watching Olympics primetime coverage =/= caring about how we do at the Olympics or liking any sports in particular. It well might, but you'd have to do further research to establish the correlation.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:23 AM
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US/Belgium also had a ton of viewers (5m) on Univision and the legit online services (Univision and ESPN) chucked in about 3m more.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:32 AM
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Oh, and I'm using the Olympics as a conversational proxy for any major Intl. sporting competition. So, soccer WC, skiing WC, track & field championships, tennis, figure skating, synchronized diving etc. all are examples. Americans compete in all of these events but not be overall very dominant. No country is great at all these events, but with a few exceptions we underperform across the board given our status as a major global superpower with a large-ish population and an avid interest in sports.

My feeling is, if America cared about kicking butt internationally as USA! USA! we would invest a lot more money and effort into it. As of now we're pretty content to focus all our energy on our local sports and pretty middling at internationally popular sports, which to me indicates that national jingoism is not our top sporting priority.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:33 AM
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I agree with some of the points in 166, but both WC soccer and the Olympic telecasts beat, in the latter case very substantially, any single telecast of the NBA or MLB, including the finals and World Series. The bigger lesson here is that the huge ratings numbers are for one-off, shirt term events that are enjoyed by casual fans; they're not a great measure of fandom intensity over longer periods of time. I'd actually expect that more Americans know who say Gabby Douglas is than say Chris Bosh, and probably more have watched at least one telecast in which she appears, but there is a much broader base of intense sports fans who know and care about the NBA than gymnastics.

168 is wrong, though, we spend the most or near it in the World on international Olympic sports and are consistently the best or near best at international Olympic sports.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:36 AM
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Yes, aside from friends and family, USAians do not watch the WCs of anything but soccer.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:37 AM
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I didn't even know there were other WCs.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:40 AM
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If nobody else did, it explains why the line is so long.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:41 AM
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170. Nor do anybody else.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:47 AM
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Ok, it looks like only 19 million people watched the World Series final, vs. 22 million watched US/Belgium. I get the sense baseball is kind of a dying sport, so I wouldn't be surprised if in 10 years soccer is far more popular. From my limited searching, NBA playoff games still seem to be pulling in between 20-35 million viewers per game.

Again, soccer might turn us into a more outwardly oriented jingoistic country. Americans have plenty of potential to be obnoxiously nationally jingoistic sports fans. The problem now is that the sorts of Americans who do effete sissy Euro metrosexual sports like soccer or tennis or archery aren't the types who attract the most obnoxiously jingoistic fans. If we could turn Nascar into a global sport, the bounds of obnoxiousness would know no bounds.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:47 AM
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I sometimes watch tennis. It has nearly as much athleticism as beach volleyball.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:50 AM
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174 - The thing about baseball is that the seasons are marathons; they're enormously financially successful -- probably the healthiest financially that they've been since the rise of the NFL -- because they provide so much television programming (that isn't easily replicated by hopping on BitTorrent). No individual game gets huge ratings, but I don't know that "dying" (rather than "niche" or maybe "regional") is appropriate.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:51 AM
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Wondolowski set American soccer fandom back about five years with his miss. The country was primed to go a little soccer crazy for a July 4 match against Messi.

It should be noted that MLS soccer sucks. Everyone noticed how the US players can't actually control the ball? Well, they're the best of the lot. Shit, half of them were German. I like soccer, but can't watch an MLS game; it's like watching women's basketball.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:54 AM
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173. To correct myself, probably half a billion people in India and Pakistan watch the cricket world cup. Fit that into your schemas.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:54 AM
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177.2 No, it doesn't. It isn't the scintillating stuff you'd see in UCL or the WCF, but so little actually is.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 10:57 AM
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I always thought women's basketball had very good play. That's what people say. I don't watch either.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:00 AM
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169

We do spend a lot on our national teams, and we do win a lot of medals, but I'm not sure we perform so well given our population size. I'm too tired to google much, but I'm pretty sure our medals/population/spending ratio isn't amazing.

With NBA stats, I'm getting 20-35 million per play-off game, which would put the NBA playoffs as more popular than the Olympics and soccer.

170. Nor do anybody else.

I was going to make a quip about anglophone countries and anglocentrism, but then I remembered the Rugby world cup. Aussies definitely watch that, and rugby is a bigger sport for South Africans and Kiwis. The Ashes and cricket in general also foster huge national rivalries, albeit among a limited subset of nations.

And plenty of people watch the Alpine World Cup, mainly in countries where skiing is popular. Since our evil media overlords turned the formerly free 'Effeminate Euro Sports for UnAmericans' network into a cable one, I now watch it off of CBC.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:04 AM
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Ogged represents the typical sports fan, deeming 99.9% of everything to "suck". Most soccer fans in Belgium, Switzerland, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Ireland, just about everywhere, have no interest in the local leagues and just watch broadcasts from distant countries on TV, so why should we be any different?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:12 AM
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177.1: woulda been on the 5th.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:13 AM
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Last I checked, the US is unusual among Olympics watching countries in that gymnastics is more popular than athletics. The US, women mainly, has gotten a lot better in gymnastics and invested more in it lately than they used to. Or at least it seems that way.

Track and field popularity has dropped during the same period and aside from a few distance runners, the US probably isn't as good, relatively, as it used to be. But I think overall investment has increased there too. International competition is tougher now, with more participation from African and Caribbean countries.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:20 AM
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178

Yeah those numbers are crazy.

Only 4 million Norwegians watched the Winter Olympics. In fairness it is 80% of the population. And in even more fairness, 20% of Norwegians will watch people burning logs in real time on TV, so watching people ski on TV for 30 km really gets people on the edge of their seats.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:20 AM
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I assume people only watch the burning logs in hope that a spark will jump out and catch the carpet on fire.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:26 AM
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Track and field popularity has dropped during the same period and aside from a few distance runners, the US probably isn't as good, relatively, as it used to be. But I think overall investment has increased there too. International competition is tougher now, with more participation from African and Caribbean countries.

In the past couple of years I've watched some major track & field international competitions, and it seemed like the number of elite mid-distance runners from Slavic countries was really high, especially for women. Is this a growing trend, or was I watching a B-level international event where non-East Africans have a chance? (I think it was the Asian track & field championships). FWIW there were plenty of East Africans, but the Eastern Europeans were holding their own with the Africans. There were also a bunch of people from elsewhere around the globe who weren't that great.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:26 AM
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Women from eastern European countries have a long history of doing well in distance/middle distance. I figure it's a combination of socialist-inspired gender equality to the extent that that was a thing, and continuity of some of the national sports programs left over from Cold War days. African women haven't competed in large numbers until fairly recently, I don't think.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:35 AM
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By fairly recently, I mean since 2000 or so.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:36 AM
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"Most soccer fans in Belgium, Switzerland, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Ireland, just about everywhere, have no interest in the local leagues and just watch broadcasts from distant countries on TV, so why should we be any different?"

Not sure if you're sarcastic, but I don't think that's true at all.


Posted by: David the Unfogged Commenter | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:38 AM
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Yeah, I think the Belgian and Swiss leagues do just fine at home. And have limited success in European competitions. More Europa than UCL. Obvs the Irish leagues aren't tip-top, which is not to say that they don't produce footballers.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:57 AM
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Hey, Sifu, where would you suggest for watching World Cup games in/around Boston? Iberian Fury & I will be in town (sorta) this weekend, and while we've got tickets for tomorrow's Red Sox game, that seems very likely to be rained out.


Posted by: x. trapnel | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 11:57 AM
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The Phoenix Landing in Central Square is famously sort of the center of soccer watching in town, but apparently it has been absolutely crazy crowded there. Other than that... not sure. They have been on everywhere. I watched the US game at Lord Hobo.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 12:00 PM
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I noticed in the link in 127 that soccer stadiums used to have moats separating the field from the crowd. That's one way to deal with the hooligans, although it slowed down the EMT response when they had to find some seige equipment before bringing the stretcher on the field.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 07- 3-14 7:26 PM
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This is how real football fans do it:

In France on Friday, politics ground to a halt with the ruling Socialists demanding the day's session be ended early at 17:00 BST so senators can take in the country's quarter-final against Germany. Across the border meanwhile, German auto giant Volkswagen cancelled the late shift for 4,000 workers at its main plant in the northern city of Wolfsburg.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 4-14 6:16 AM
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Two quarter finals and no comments? I guess none of them went to penalties, so there's no fodder for the great "is soccer a real Manly-man sport or just a Euroweenie metrosexual sport?" debate. A broken vertebrae is the sort of injury you'd expect from sissified surrender-monkeys.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 6:48 AM
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You broke somebody's vertebrae?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 6:55 AM
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Yesterday I thought Colombia would win the cup. Now I'm inclined to think Germany might. My heart still says Costa Rica though.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 6:56 AM
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I stopped paying attention when the US got eliminated.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 7:19 AM
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I just want the attractive, meat eating Argentinians to crush the child molesting, French Fry loving Belgian menace.


Posted by: Roberto Peron | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 7:39 AM
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I only cheer for teams that eat FREEDOM fries.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 7:57 AM
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At this point I'm rooting for anyone but Brazil, but I don't have a really good reason for this. Maybe just instinctual rooting against the obvious favorites, plus this team is not inspiring and the refereeing has been so biased they've really gotten an unfair advantage. Anyways, they've lost their two best players so we'll see what happens. I'm also rooting against the Dutch, for even less of a good reason and honestly it's their turn to win it. Probably because I'm an asshole. If Costa Rica could pull off a win that would be amazing.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 8:02 AM
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But are they still favourites after your subtle intervention on Neymar's spine? I've had a sense that they've been riding their luck to get this far. Unlike Costa Rica, of course who haz awesome skillz.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 8:06 AM
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How did the Belgian keeper miss that shot?


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 9:09 AM
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202

Yeah I don't know. Without Neymar (looks like I'm more effective than Ghana's top witch doctor!), and Silva out with a yellow card, Brazil's chances definitely have been hurt. I've been anti-Brazil from the beginning based on the general sense they were the overwhelming favorites, and then since the cup started I feel like they keep squeaking by with help from the refs. I don't know if they're still the favorites against Germany. 538 has Brazil with a 73% chance of winning the semi-final.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 9:24 AM
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Yes! Suck it govermentless fries eaters.


Posted by: Roberto Peron | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 10:55 AM
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Messi's going to regret that one when he ends up one goal short of the golden boot.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 10:59 AM
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I really like Stormcrow's idea of Argentina beating Brazil in the final, for maximum trolling.

Also I know you all know this already, but to an untrained eye it really is insane how much better all these teams look than the US. Almost like an entirely different level of the sport, like college football vs the NFL.


Posted by: Roberto Peron | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 11:07 AM
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Still watching, just not commenting about it. The game b/w Brazil and Colombia was dirrty. Should have been several sending offs.

Argies reallly played better than they have all tournament long.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 11:33 AM
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How is it that the Netherlanders are not winning this?


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 2:52 PM
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Wait, the Dutch are subbing in offensive players to press the Costa Ricans in extra time? I thought this was literally impossible.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:21 PM
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Also to take the inevitable penalties...


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:21 PM
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I guess the coach discovered strategy or something. He's like Prometheus stealing fire from heaven


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:25 PM
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Maybe Costa Rica will become the first team to win a World Cup without scoring in its last three games.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:27 PM
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Also notice how the Dutch are leaving themselves very open to the counter? CR are a much weaker team and the Dutch are struggling to break them down and keep any kind of defence.


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:29 PM
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Poor Cillessen.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:34 PM
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Hush keir, clearly the 5B people who play watch and love soccer can't have come to well reasoned judgements that a random ass baseball loving lawyer couldn't surpass with a moment's thought!


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:35 PM
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It's almost like if they played long enough, one of the teams may have scored.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:36 PM
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The keeper substitution is a new one to me.


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:36 PM
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CONCAF unbowed.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:37 PM
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+CA


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:38 PM
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Poor Cillessen indeed. I'd be super pissed-off.


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:38 PM
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Too bad we'll never know who won this game by playing it. No way the Dutch would have won (because offense is literally impossible) in another overtime.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:39 PM
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Also, as I mentioned at the other place, bangs are not a good look for Ruud.


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:39 PM
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It's remarkable to me, given how big the goal is and how small the woodwork is, just how often shots go off the posts and the crossbar. It seems implausible that adding 6 inches in every direction to the goal would double the scores, but yet...


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:40 PM
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223: and counter attacks are boring, so even if Costa Rica had scored, everyone would have gone home.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:42 PM
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Subbing goalies is a really weird move in the sense that coaches usually try to avoid putting themselves in positions where their decision could be easily blamed for losing the game.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:42 PM
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You aim for the edges --- hardest for the keeper to stop.


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:44 PM
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Kruul does appear to be freakishly huge, though.


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:44 PM
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208.1: Right. Until the next cup any Brazilian visiting Argentina would forced to wear a dog collar. Conversely, Argentinians in Brazil would be given ceremonial whips to stick in their belts.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:46 PM
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Also, if the Dutch win here, they've executed a clinical penalties strategy


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:47 PM
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Fuck.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:47 PM
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What incredible bullshit. This sport is an embarrassing joke. Hopefully the brave meat eaters of Argentina will eat these orange tools alive.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:48 PM
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How was that bullshit? The Costa Ricans played for penalties, but the Dutch had seen that coming, planned for it, and executed a bold counter strategy. First time I've actually enjoyed a penalty shoot out.


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:50 PM
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Yes, what a truly masterful piece of Dutch strategy, making slight modifications to something that's not the sport and that even with the modifications was close to a random result.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:52 PM
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Had Costa Rica not been playing for penalties would the Dutch tried something else?


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 3:58 PM
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If CR hadn't been looking to go to penalties (where they are strong) the Dutch probably wouldn't have invested so much planning into penalties, and probably wouldn't have held that sub back until the last minute, no.


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 4:09 PM
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That's a good point. I'd still rather see playing for penalties not be an option, though.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 4:12 PM
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Nice line.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 4:16 PM
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I hope the WC final is 0-0 and decided through multiple rounds of penalties. For every penalty their team makes, spectators have to eat a donut. Winning will be decided with a complex algorithm calculated by penalties scored, number of donuts eaten, with an added aesthetic score based on the skillfulness of dives throughout the match. Voters can text with donut pics in to support their favorite team, Eurovision style. Unknown points will be added by a panel of judges from Russia, Qatar, N. Korea and Uzbekistan.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 07- 5-14 11:01 PM
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240: I love it


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 07- 6-14 5:21 AM
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