Re: Would Date!

1

This piece at Deadspin, Prince Fielder's Naked ESPN Cover Is Sexy As Hell, is very good.


Posted by: Dud Par | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 8:20 AM
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2

I am torn between wanting to say that the dude looks fine to me, and really sort of hating the 'let's judge naked celebrities' game.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 8:27 AM
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3

And generally, does it surprise anyone that there is a broad range of body-types that can produce excellent athletic performance? (Particularly when we're talking about baseball, which turns on very particular physical skills rather than distance running or anything like that.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 8:37 AM
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4

Does baseball really count as athletic? It's a physical skill, for certain, but they mostly just stand there.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 8:39 AM
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5

All the things baseball players do well (throw, catch, sprint, bat) are athletic skills, even if playing baseball itself may not be the hardest workout in pro sports.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 8:41 AM
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6

Oh, hell. I've gone humorless again. I think at this point it's a conditioned response to celebrity nudity.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 8:42 AM
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7

Babe Ruth managed to be one of the greats of the game while looking like a poster urging Diabetes screening.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 8:44 AM
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8

Would totally date!


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:02 AM
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9

Playin' for the tie.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:02 AM
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10

Prince Fielder is a vegetarian (and also a great athlete, but whatever).


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:04 AM
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11

They should have really gotten Vince Wilfork to do it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:06 AM
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12

Would date EVEN THO a vegetarian.

Always bemused by non-athletes opining on the relative athleticism of professional athletes.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:14 AM
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13

What's wrong with vegetarians? (question not meant for RH)


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:17 AM
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14

If gloating over the flesh of animals killed in anger as blood drips from your jaws is an important part of your dining experience, some vegetarians are difficult to share that with.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:21 AM
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15

LB gets it.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:23 AM
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16

A girl is not sexy if she has the boold of animals in her mouth and the bodies of animals between her teeth.


Posted by: Kurt Stocklmeir | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:24 AM
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17

16: Also if she swears.


Posted by: Opinionated Richard Nixon | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:29 AM
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18

Ahem. PF was never actually a vegetarian, and no longer even claims to be one. Not that it matters! But one must resist halford's insinuations!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:30 AM
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19

14 Having killed* what I've eaten before I still have no problem with that, even though the experience led to me becoming a vegetarian.

*Not in anger, so I'm not sure that counts.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:31 AM
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20

Do oysters count, in terms of killing your own food? I don't think I can claim anything with a spinal cord. (I've killed mice, but never ate them.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:32 AM
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21

16 perfectly illustrates the fundamental design flaw of gglasses: failure to transmit the *subjective* feed. That feed from KS's gglasses would surely be a hit, I for one would be oh so tempted to gaze through KS's horrified eyes at his date across the table with her mouth full of "boold". Can't look! Yet can't look away!


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:33 AM
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22

I'm not sure that's the fundamental design flaw.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:36 AM
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23

19.1: And now I can't go back to that daycare again.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:36 AM
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24

I am a big Stocklmeir fan.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:37 AM
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25

Alright but an important design flaw!


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:38 AM
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26

20: There is actually an argument that oysters are vegan.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:40 AM
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27

Are clams different?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:42 AM
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28

Proposition: oysters are vegan the same way tequila is paleo.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:43 AM
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29

|| I wonder if LeBron will have to win a championship in Cleveland for anyone here to like him ever again. |>


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:45 AM
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30

He looks great! What's the problem?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:49 AM
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31

The problem is that he left Cleveland and they got all upset about it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:50 AM
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32

Having killed what I've eaten before I still have no problem with that

In future you should try eating what you've killed before. It'll wriggle less.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:53 AM
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33

The deranged Cleveland partisan (went to Molly's and Stormcrow's hs) in my FB feed -- who was DEMENTED in his condemnation of LeBron at the time of THE DECISION TM -- is all Boom! LeBron! Yes! King James! So bygones, I guess?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:53 AM
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34

32 Less sporting.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:55 AM
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35

33: LeBygones! (from the Plain Dealer website)


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:56 AM
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36

34: It's not the eating it before you kill it that's puzzling me, it's the killing it once you've eaten it. How do you do it? Sword swallowing?


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:57 AM
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37

Powerful digestive acids.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 10:00 AM
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38

36: You swallow whole its natural predator.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 10:00 AM
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39

There's always the "You don't eat a pig like that all at once" method. Eat parts, and then kill the surviving plurality of your prey. Or the oyster method -- I don't know exactly when the oyster dies, but sometime after it's in my mouth, no?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 10:00 AM
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40

Strangulation in the narrow corridors of the GI tract.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 10:00 AM
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41

And then shake your belly.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 10:01 AM
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42

Right after swallowing, blow yourself up with TNT.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 10:01 AM
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43

38: ILL-ADVISED.


Posted by: OPINIONATED DECEASED OLD LADY | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 10:02 AM
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44

I always said I was a vegetarian for aesthetic reasons, I think mostly because I wasn't wild about the sanctimonious school of vegetarianism. These days I have occasional spasms of doubt about whether I really do feel fine about eating animals, but they're about the same size as my doubts about almost everything, and I really do love e.g. tea-smoked duck despite walking past many cute presumably happy-not-to-be-dead mallards on the way to work, so I just file it away with the rest of the hypocrisy that makes up getting through most days.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 10:28 AM
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45

Hypocrisy is a silly word there. I amend to "moral inconsistency."


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 10:29 AM
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46

Always bemused by non-athletes opining on the relative athleticism of professional athletes

I ain't an athlete, lady. I'm a baseball player.


Posted by: John Kruk | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 10:35 AM
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47

I have killed most of the things I have eaten.

Granted, most of them were living things of the vegetal persuasion, rather than animals*, but it still counts.

*(I have been fishing, though.)


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 11:21 AM
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48

When is a living thing of the vegetal persuasion officially declared to be dead?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 11:34 AM
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49

Like Terry Schiavo?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 11:37 AM
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50

I figure once it's cooked or mashed up the game is over. When it could start growing again in the right conditions (like water, or dirt) then it still counts as alive.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 11:44 AM
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51

50: So, a few minutes ago, when I ate a raw peach, I was simultaneously killing and eating it. Good to know!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 11:52 AM
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52

Welcome to the dark side, peep. Now that your pitiable illusion of innocence has been shattered, why not chew on some tasty lamb fat.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 11:57 AM
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53

All those vegans, raw almond boold filling their mouths as they chew away...


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 11:58 AM
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54

I await with relish the day you report back halford that your guru is subsisting nay flourishing on a diet of 73% lamb tail fat!


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 11:59 AM
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55

I await with relish the day you report back halford that your guru is subsisting nay flourishing on a diet of 73% lamb fries.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 12:05 PM
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56

Do I dare to kill a peach?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 12:35 PM
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57

Let the advocate of animal food, force himself to a decisive experiment on its fitness, and as Plutarch recommends, tear a living lamb with his teeth, and plunging his head into its vitals, slake his thirst with the steaming blood; when fresh from the deed of horror let him revert to the irresistible instincts of nature that would rise in judgment against it, and say, Nature formed me for such work as this.


Posted by: OPIONIONATED SHELLEY | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 12:38 PM
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58

The deranged Cleveland partisan (went to Molly's and Stormcrow's hs) in my FB feed -- who was DEMENTED in his condemnation of LeBron at the time of THE DECISION TM -- is all Boom! LeBron! Yes! King James! So bygones, I guess?

Bummer. It was all much more enjoyable just sharing the solidarity of hating him. (I would personally definitely rather not have him back, but that's because I dislike him a lot more than I care about the Cavs ever winning anything.)


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 12:48 PM
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59

Also oh my god his smug fucking mug in that SI cover photo. Highly smackable.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 12:52 PM
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60

I've never known you to be so perturbed, foxytail.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 12:59 PM
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61

Oh, I'm great at hating!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 1:00 PM
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62

True confession time: Rfts is actually Dwayne Wade, and on Unfogged she can show her true feelings about the $42 million she gave up so the Heat could resign LeBron.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 1:02 PM
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63

I love her little flip-up sun glasses!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 1:03 PM
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64

I like that you're hiding her secret by pretending you can't spell Dwyane, snark.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 1:03 PM
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65

Autocorrect, like Rfts, is a harsh mistress.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 1:04 PM
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66

50, 51 - but a peach couldn't carry on growing off a tree, could it? Unlike the peach stone, which will grow if you look after it. So the peach never really dies? Or doesn't die until you throw away the stone and put a stop to any chances of growth? Is it like a phoenix?

I have killed one mackerel. Well, I caught some more, and I suppose they would have died too, as I wasn't going to throw them back. But I only killed one in the most (so they told me) quick and merciful fashion. And then I ate them and they were lovely. Didn't seem practical to do that every day though.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 4:50 PM
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67

I worked at a trout farm one summer, and spent hours each day cleaning fish. I bet I've totally lost the skill.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 4:52 PM
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68

33: Hmm, *I* barely remember where I went to HS.

I assume he still owns his old mega-renovated house in the area. Can;t imagine who would have bought it if not.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 7:27 PM
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69

I always liked Fielder's dad as a player. He had a very rough post-career*. Still more home runs (only father-son 50-50 duo) in a season and career than Prince. He was slower than Prince: In 1996 set a major league record by taking 1,096 games to record his first career stolen base, which occurred on a botched hit and run. He stole another base that season as well, and finished his career with 2 stolen bases over 13 seasons and 1,470 games.

*Speaking of mega-mansions, I think he had one in Florida that became a sodden ruin,


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 7:44 PM
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70

Halford is T-Rex?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 8:45 PM
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||
Doing night filming of a movie up here right by our place. Quite a production, many white vans and other vehicles coming and going. Taco truck just made the rounds. They had filmed an ABC Family TV movie at the same place a few years back, but this seems to be an order-of-magnitude larger and more involved. Local VFD parking lot given over to the catering crews, and local elementary school parking lot jammed full of cast trailers and assorted other trucks.

Reading up on it I see that Eminem was originally to be the lead, but now it is Jake Gyllenhaal with 50 Cent and Forest Whitaker and Rachel McAdams.

This is the place where they are shooting.
|>


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-11-14 9:59 PM
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