Still here I carry my old delicious burdens;
I carry them, men and women--I carry them with me wherever I go;
I swear it is impossible for me to get rid of them;
I am fill'd with them, and I will fill them in return
That bag looks pretty flimsy to be carrying substantial books for any great length of time.
I do not believe you for an instant, Josh.
As a gift for his great friend and bibliophile, neb nosflow.
Funny, I see that bag as catnip to ladies looking for a tortured poet sort of fellow (see also: sensitive, old soul). If that's your target demographic, I think you should carry on.
AND THIS BITCH WAS ALL UP IN MY FACE ABOUT HOW BETTER THAN ME SHE IS WELL I SAY FUCK YOU POOPING IN YOUR BAG IS A REAL THING.
Surely there are some ladies after sad young literary men who also have a modicum of taste or, failing that, shame? I mean who but a total caricature could possibly carry this bag?
Tote bags and books only go together when you have dozens of books to return to the library and it's the day before you leave town and you need all available carriers that can hold books.
I linked the piece in 10 having read only the title. It may actually suck.
I think the trailing ellipsis on the text might actually be the worst part.
so many beautiful things are being made invisible... like tears... in rain.
10: I think if they had either good taste or shame, the sad literary young man would not be the object of their desires.
so many beautiful things are being made invisible ... like the books ... inside this bag ... what I am carrying now
Jesus tote-bag-burning Christ.
I think it was Russell Baker who, via his charming Sunday column in the NYT mag, impressed upon a juvenile young Flippanter (who was really too young to read Baker and the On Language Safire of that or any era) that no matter where one might venture, no matter the volume of curious charm or forgotten lore, no woman would ever sidle up and ask "What's that big book, big boy?"
As I've related before, the only woman who ever struck up a conversation with me in a bookstore later tried to get me to join a cult.
http://www.cafepress.com/+tote_bag,314924234
Has neb linked to a knock-off? $279. Even their URL is pretentious. This might actually be worse than all those kids being raped.
An inevitable endpoint of this kind of carry on.
OMG. This is the description:
We're pleased to introduce our signature bookbag, designed in collaboration with Ken Nishijo, a Tokyo based cabinet-maker and bag builder. A stunningly well-made bag that will age beautifully, this large tote's heavy-duty canvas is made on looms imported to Japan from Belgium in the 1930′s, and the nude leather handles come from one the oldest and best tanners in Tokyo. The remarkably precise stitching is all hand-done by Nishijo's own family in his workshop, and each bag carries our motto about book-carrying, hand screened on the inside:
Parody? MADE ON BELGIAN LOOMS IMPORTED INTO JAPAN IN THE 1930s PEOPLE. BELGIAN LOOMS.
21: Humanity is a failed experiment. Let the birds and beasts have a go at the world now.
Is the one in 21 less objectionable because the text is hidden on the inside, or more objectionable because the text, being hidden, remains a private (smug!) satisfaction of the owner? Set aside all the other differences.
no woman would ever sidle up and ask "What's that big book, big boy?"
As I have related before, this is not true.
23 Belgian looms = product of brutal imperialism and exploitation of the proletariat. And Japan in the 1930s = militarism from hell.
I would seriously consider the bag in 22 if it were not $80. Now I will stop serial commenting on my own post.
You know what else was imported into Japan in the 1930s?
27: Declaring yourself sexier than Russell Baker is a bold stand, neb, but one I can respect.
30: cotton, wool, iron, petroleum, soybeans, and wheat?
23 is the most entertaining thing I've seen in weeks.
I like to try to carry cars wherever I go but I pretty much fail because super heavy and made of metal
GODDAMIT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A HELL OF A LOT BETTER WITH THE LINE BREAKS HTML
I note that Flippanter is remaining carefully silent on the topic of imported vintage loom obsession.
37: [Whistling, ambling, nothing to see here.]
My book lunch bag has otters on it, and no poetry.
That bookstore also sells the world's most pretentious t-shirt, which has the titles of each of the Four Quartets written in a twee version of Ed Ruscha-style signmaker's lettering.
Its entire book inventory is, I think, about 20 books, artfully displayed. It also carries a handful of periodicals, including Kindling.
In short, the worst.
Is Kindling just bound sheets of wax-impregnated paper or something?
The magazine seems to seek young, urban creative types, both as subjects and as readers. It is bound like a book and opens with an essay by Mr. Perez about his "desire to explicate the creative project that is fatherhood."
I think Larkin offered the definitive explication of that particular creative project.
"Now hold still while I explicate the creative project that is fatherhood on your face."
Actually, JP, it doesn't work that way.
Kindling seems to be the happily ever after to the lady falling in love with the sad literary young man.
47: Thanks! I loved Russell Baker.
Having typed that, I beg you all not to inform me of his vast investments in the munitions industry and racist propaganda.
50: Teach me, o master nebi-wan.
Your creative projection must be placed elsewhere.
41.1 - Would it be better or worse if it were done in Helvetica a la the 2K⁄Gingham Beatles shirt?
Burnt Norton &
East Coker &
The Dry Salvages &
Little Gidding.
The student creatively projected elsewhere and was enlightened.
"This tow truck is taking forever to get here!" Tom ejaculated.
"Tow truck? Hell, help me find my keys and we'll drive out of here!"
That store is genuinely hilarious and awful. They should open a joint venture with the East Bay Creative Reuse Depot down the street and have like 20 little bits of yarn and paper towel tubes, each on its own shelf, each for $30.
Let's say you want to do your own a Cornell Box and yet all you have to bring to the table is disposable income? Should there not be a trade to cater to such a person?
God dammit, they told me that by now we would be getting our own fake Cornell boxes built for us by insane robots in derelict space stations.
61, 62: would you settle for a nice teapot?
A teapot crafted by a self aware AI formerly the property of adodgy Eurotrash industrial dynasty?
I guess there's an actual teapot, but not in Utah.
62, 64: Remains my favorite, as it was the first one I read, back when I was 16 or so.
It sits open on the floor like a box, but is so balanced and perfectly constructed that it feels almost weightless (letting your books be the ballast, not your bag!).
In other words, it's a bag.
If you are in a churning sea, the last thing you want is to have a bag full of ballast slung over your shoulder. What you want first of all is a boat.
I can confirm neb is right in 27.
I can't confirm 27, but I can confirm 70.
That site is nuts, but strangely appealing. For god's sake don't buy the bookbag though.
Funny that Gibson should come up. I was thinking that 23 seems like the description of a bag Cayce Pollard would have, except for the text. I just started to re-read Pattern Recognition, but it was too annoying to go on with. WG is much better when he's straight up pulpy.
74: I'm going to pick up Bleeding Edge now that it's in paperback. It occurs to me that Pynchon and Gibson seem to be converging in some weird way. Although I suppose Gibson will probably never include songs in his novels.
It's more that Bleeding Edge is something of an intentional Gibson pastiche, in parts, I think.
Also everything I know about imported vintage loom obsession is from Gibson, predictably.
I think he's going back to the future in his next book. Hurray!
70: Ballast wouldn't be the last thing I wanted. It might be the second, to avoid being tipped out of my boat and clonked on the head by it.