Re: Vegas

1

What kind of pregnant is she?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:06 AM
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2

The kind that isn't fucking.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:07 AM
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3

I've heard gambling is popular.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:08 AM
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4

Lying around hotel rooms, watching tv and ordering room service is pretty much the best.
(I once spent a week at the Beverly Hilton, not my dime, obvs, with nothing to do but lounge around in a robe and drink on the little balcony. The best.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:09 AM
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5

(PS: I am not a prostitute. I was there as moral support for a friend attending to Important Family Matters.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:10 AM
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6

3: I don't really like talking to other people.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:12 AM
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7

Slot machines only speak when spoken to.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:13 AM
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8

And that's pretty much the only gambling I've ever done. Once I cashed out a nickel-slots and got the full waterfall of coins, which turned out to be about $25 in nickels.

In fact, that's the only time I've ever gambled, and the only time I was ever in Vegas.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:16 AM
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9

I kind of assume that you're never going to find a better time to be a short-tempered wiseass than when you're eight months pregnant, so you might as well take advantage of it. I think I actually would have said what you were thinking, minus "twat" and "fucking," and later would have regretted not reminding her of the fact that she should have known that you've lived there for at least five years. But then, IANAPW, so what do I know. I do know that I've never been ruder to a caller from a nonprofit asking for donations than the day after my appendectomy.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:19 AM
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10

Oh boy, I flat out yelled at a customer service rep about a week ago. I partly feel bad--it wasn't her fault--but also feel completely justified: you're the face of the company, I'm yelling at the company's face. Even better would have been the face of the guy who actually screwed up (it was an error, not policy) but I would have beheaded him, no yelling necessary.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:31 AM
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11

If you did behead him, what would your mother say when the newspaper called?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:33 AM
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12

"He was hungry. That's what happens."

Heebie, you know what else is legal in Vegas...

Make whoever earn his or her pay that day.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:35 AM
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13

I once spent a week at the Beverly Hilton, not my dime, obvs, with nothing to do but lounge around in a robe and drink on the little balcony. The best.

An acquaintance of mine got to do this at the Four Seasons Amman on the dime of a notorious Iraqi scoundrel. Then one day he gets a frantic call from scoundrel scion saying "Hey, I gotta run, fleeing the country, so sorry". Turns out the scoundrel family's assets had just been frozen by the Jordanian government. So my friend, who had been nonchalantly running up charges for room service and everything else, had to cover a bill for about $10,000.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:37 AM
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14

My wife loves lounging in hotels all day. She'll join me for a few days out of town and is content to hang out in the room and veg all day--and will still skip out on evening activities if it's an option.

When we honeymooned in Italy, she made sure that we got in a hotel room picnic one evening. It was a very nice night... and international Daily Show is the best!


Posted by: Mooseking | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:49 AM
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15

Heebie, you know what else is legal in Vegas...

Is not. Just everywhere else *near* Vegas.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:53 AM
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12: getting a massage? Not really my thing.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 7:57 AM
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17

Fancy hotel rooms are one of those things that make me want to be rich.* We stayed in the Presidential suite here and it was awesome. (Not on purpose, or at full price. Sister hotel fucked up our reservation and I threw a fit.) I didn't want to do anything but lounge in it all day.

*The other ones are Whole Foods and my aunt's palatial lake house.


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:09 AM
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18

There are some sweet rooftop rollercoasters in Vegas. Maybe you could get that labor jumpstarted. Surely there's an in-network obstetrician in Vegas. It's the city with everything, right?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:11 AM
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19

What happens in-network in Vegas stays in-network in Vegas.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:12 AM
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20

Speaking of stupid heat, I'm so very happy our spate of sunny days has come to an end. When it is sunny, I can't keep the shades open in my office and I miss the view.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:14 AM
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21

I thought it was always sunny in pittsburghdelphia.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:15 AM
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22

I don't care how rich I get I don't want one of those TVs that are embedded in the bathroom mirror. That shit is weird.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:16 AM
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23

19: See? Wouldn't even have to take that baby home.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:16 AM
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24

heebie you could take a day trip to that gun range where they let you shoot the employees


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:17 AM
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25

The only thing that keeps me from rooting for an early delivery is that it'd ruin my Halloween costume. But starting November 1st, let's do it.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:19 AM
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one of those TVs that are embedded in the bathroom mirror

Never even heard of this. It is entirely possible that I don't know enough rich people to be familiar with all the perks.


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:22 AM
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27

I guess if you're rich enough you can just make up stuff that you want and hire someone to make it happen for you. My boyfriend is like this. I have a list of ideas for gifts for him, just random shit that he's mentioned he wants, and like half of them probably don't even exist. Like "backpack style professional grade vacuum cleaner with rechargeable lithium ion battery, preferably of Japanese manufacture."

I expect I lack the imagination to take full advantage of being extremely wealthy. Fortunately I am in no danger of finding myself in that situation.


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:27 AM
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28

I've only ever seen the bathroom mirror TV thing in a hotel.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:32 AM
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29

Actually I just now googled another item on the wish list, "some kind of additive to make any given cheese have velveetalike melting ability" and apparently that exists.


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:34 AM
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30

I am very curious about heebie's Halloween costume. Volkswagen driving up the side of a building?


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:35 AM
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31

27: Does your boyfriend have a Ghostbuster's-based fantasy life?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:35 AM
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32

Who doesn't?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:36 AM
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33

"backpack style professional grade vacuum cleaner with rechargeable lithium ion battery, preferably of Japanese manufacture."

If he's willing to compromise on battery type (LiPo rather than Lithium Ion) and manufacture (seems like it's made in Canada?) that's certainly a real thing.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:38 AM
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34

Holy shit "carry on luggage that has a built-in card table that folds out" is also a thing.


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:38 AM
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35

30: bee girl from the old blind melon video. I like to achieve "genuinely disturbing".


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:39 AM
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36

starting November 1st, let's do it

I'd love to! But you're kinda far away. Maybe we could just could Snapchat pictures of our junk or something.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 8:41 AM
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37

It really is a dry heat! I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 9:20 AM
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38

Holy shit "carry on luggage that has a built-in card table that folds out" is also a thing.

You know what else has a built in card table that folds out? Airplane seats.

The article in 29 seems to be going out of its way to pretend that fondue doesn't exist. Gee, how can we possibly melt Emmenthal? If only someone had thought of what agents you'd need to get a good texture.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 9:26 AM
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39

Most of the Vegas hotels have some sort of luxury/gaudy stores in their lobbies - why not window-shop when you're tired of lounging?


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 9:27 AM
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40

Well, the seats at the gate don't have a fold-out table.


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 9:31 AM
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41

Vegas is actually an ok place to be if you hate the heat, because every indoor area is so hyper-refrigerated, and you can walk from one end of the strip to the other without ever going outside.

There's not all that much to do, though. Go harass the lion prisoners at the MGM? There's a gun range where you can shoot rocket launchers, but that's outdoors.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 9:34 AM
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42

I flat out yelled at a customer service rep about a week ago. I partly feel bad--it wasn't her fault--but also feel completely justified: you're the face of the company, I'm yelling at the company's face.

A long time ago, I had a job as first-line tech support in a company that expected you to maintain an "expert facade" at all times: basically you had to pretend to the customer that you were supplying their help, even when you were just, say, frantically waiting for a Senior Admin to do a thing you didn't have permissions on the system to do ("Thank you sir for being patient while I work on this").

Being the company face sucks, in short.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 9:44 AM
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43

the Four Seasons Amman

I stayed there once for work- the place is built like a fort, with an amazing penthouse-level indoor pool. In my mind's eye, with some renovation it could be Halford's Fortress of Solitude (if it wasn't in busy Amman, of course).


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 10:03 AM
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44

Good thing you won't need an OB going forward after this birth, at least, IIUC.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 11:21 AM
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45

35: What signifies "bee girl from that video" vs. "I'm dressed as a bee"?


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 12:29 PM
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46

I'd love to! But you're kinda far away. Maybe we could just could Snapchat pictures of our junk or something.

"Why is Heebie sending me these close-ups of war-torn Somalia?"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 12:31 PM
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47

Tap dancing?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 12:32 PM
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48

and you can walk from one end of the strip to the other without ever going outside.

Really? That's good to know.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 12:34 PM
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49

45: My big belly. But also she wears striped stockings on her arms, thick-framed glasses, and a couple other distinctive things. Her costume looks way rattier and homemade than a bee costume.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 12:35 PM
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50

I still hate that guy's voice, even after all these years. Whiny-ass proto-hipster.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 12:44 PM
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51

|| On Vegas: so how about that href="http://recode.net/special-series/las-vegas/">Downtown Project? |>


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 12:48 PM
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52

|| Oh, christ. Another try. |>


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 12:48 PM
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53

Las Vegas: home of wacky museums.

Neon Museum. This one is what might make me detour to Vegas if I were in the area.

The Mob Museum.

Pinball Hall of Fame.

Liberace Museum.

Atomic Testing Museum.

Also, wangle a trip to Death Valley and/or Hoover Dam.

I realize that really fucking pregnant might preclude any or all of these...


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 1:03 PM
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54

Stormcrow, we have a neon museum and you're actually around to take detours if you've never seen it. I actually haven't.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 1:10 PM
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55

50: Me too!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 1:11 PM
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56

53 looks great, actually. And I don't know if I'll actually do any of them, but I'm intrigued.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 1:14 PM
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57

Vegas is very difficult to get around, even (maybe particularly) from one strip hotel to the next. So the best thing to do is to be in a nice hotel and stay there. Also it's mostly hellish. With that said here are my favorite things, in order:

1) the aquarium at Mandalay Bay. Do you want to go to America's largest and best "predator based" aquarium? Yes. Do you want to walk through a glass tunnel with a shit ton of huge sharks swimming over your head? Yes of course you do. That place is the best.

2) The Golden Steer steakhouse. Also the best and legitimately old-school Vegas. You have a 100% chance of sitting near people who have bribed people.

3) The lobby of the MGM Grand. White tigers in a pit. The whole thing looks dated in a way very specific to late 70s/early 80s hedonism. Would you like to do cocaine and have sex with the cast of the original Battlestar Galactica? This is as close as you'll get.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 1:35 PM
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58


57 can only have been Halford.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 2:59 PM
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59

Would you like to do cocaine and have sex with the cast of the original Battlestar Galactica?

This seems oddly specific.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 3:42 PM
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60

But since you asked, yes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 1-14 3:44 PM
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59: wait, where do the brackets go? Are you doing cocaine with the cast as well?


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 10- 2-14 1:45 AM
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Vegas is very difficult to get around, even (maybe particularly) from one strip hotel to the next.

Yeah, I've found this as well. It may technically possible to get from one end of the Strip to the other without going outside (though I don't think so unless they've changed the layout in the last five years), but it's not straightforward or practical. You get routed the long way through the casinos, which are literally designed to prevent you from finding your way out quickly. And even doing it outside isn't very easy with all the broad broad road crossings, not to mention delightful street life.

I'd also second the Pinball Hall of Fame, though standing for that long may not be appealing.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 10- 2-14 5:37 AM
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57: I've never wanted to go to vegas until now...


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 10- 2-14 7:57 AM
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PS: I am not a prostitute.

I'm going to mentally append this to all of oud's comments from now on.

When my sister was college visiting, we spent one night at the Barbizon in NYC (this is when we were living in Miami, perpetually pining for New York). We arrived in the afternoon, and just as we got ready to go out , I got hit with a damn migraine (which I used to get often, but hardly ever do anymore; mine have never been that bad, though). So I had to sit in the room while my family walked around Manhattan. As much as that sucked, I do recall down comforters that were roughly 8" thick and cool in midsummer.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 2-14 8:27 AM
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