Re: Guest Post - DJ Earworm's United States of Pop

1

the squeamish crew listens exclusively to Christian music and has very little clue that the song exists

Driving through the south this summer, I played a radio game called "God or Human?" You seek through the radio stations, stopping when you hear a pop song (can include pop country). Then, within five seconds (or so), decide whether it's a love song about God or a love song about a human. Here's an example of the kind of song I mean.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 8:49 AM
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Hozier is from Ireland, right? One of Europe's remaining non-godless countries.


Posted by: cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 8:53 AM
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Sorry, heebie, I guess Anaconda was your only butt song this year. Also, Hozier's song is actually called "Take Me to Church," but it's not as if I was fact-checking this shit.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 8:56 AM
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That song annoys me.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:02 AM
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Another confession I think I shared about being a bad parent, but I actually made a "Why you gotta be so rude?" sticker chart and marked every instance of backtalk and passive-aggressive comments for a day or so just to draw attention to it, with some effect. I still use it as a catchphrase to try to squelch some of that behavior.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:03 AM
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I joked with bandmates about doing a version of "Rude" dedicated to resolving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, but I only got as far as the lyric "What's it gonna be, Mahmoud?"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:07 AM
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I know one should never read the comments section; this may be particularly true for the first comment on the link in 1 which is all about homos and sin.


Posted by: Rance | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:13 AM
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One of Europe's remaining non-godless countries.

This will probably hold good in practice for the next 10 years, maybe, IME.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:15 AM
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Re: squeamish, that's been a standard rock n' roll trope since forever, hasn't it? Also, they're going to have to take it up with the author of Song of Songs first.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:20 AM
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"Enlightened godless Europe." It was right there all along!


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:21 AM
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OK, Solomon, not bad, but you're going to have to mix up the bass a bit. Also maybe lose the second sax solo.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:24 AM
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Also, I am pretty sure that squeamish Christians listen to a lot of top '40 and just compartmentalize their interest in the same way that Paul Ryan does with Rage Against the Machine lyrics or liberals do with all the misogyny in Kanye.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:25 AM
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"Why you gotta be so rude?"

I hate that song also. His voice when he says that is just so petulant. It sounds like a small child who shouldn't be marrying anybody because of immaturity.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:51 AM
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12: there are certainly plenty of Christians who listen to Top 40, but there's a big swath that exclusively does the Christian-version of any cultural phenomenon. Complete bubble.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:56 AM
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Did they all disown Amy Grant?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 10:00 AM
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12: 'cause they're all about that faith, 'bout that faith, no Devil.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 10:01 AM
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He is my Lord, he is my savior
And he rewards my good behavior
My secret soul
I know he's seen it

He says, "Come here baby and
Kiss me like you mean it
He calls me baby
Says, "Kiss me like you mean it"


Read more: The Magnetic Fields - Kiss Me Like You Mean It Lyrics | MetroLyrics


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 10:04 AM
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I hate that song also. His voice when he says that is just so petulant. It sounds like a small child who shouldn't be marrying anybody because of immaturity.

Yesssssss.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 11:48 AM
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I hate that song also. His voice when he says that is just so petulant. It sounds like a small child who shouldn't be marrying anybody because of immaturity.

How odd, am I going to end up defending what is, obviously, a fairly dumb pop song? I still have a favorable impression of it.

I haven't had to listen to it being overplayed. I originally listened to it when Heebie linked to it a while back, and I've heard it 3-4 times since then. I think what makes the song work is the unapologetic immaturity of it. Nothing about the song feels over-thought or over-worked. It feels sincere, but not earnest (if you will).

I'm willing to believe that whoever wrote the song does love the cliched corniness of, "can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?" It doesn't have much emotional weight -- it's clear that his vision of, "the rest of my life" doesn't look more than a year or two into the future but that, for me, is actually part of what makes the song work -- that it's featherweight, with just a nod in the direction of real emotion.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 12:04 PM
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Just in general, I don't like ska very much regardless. That may be part of it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 12:08 PM
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20: So how do you feel about Propagandhi's "Ska Sucks"?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 12:12 PM
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Nick, I thought you might enjoy this article when it gets into what exactly makes Mariah Carrey's "all I want for Christmas is you" so dang christmassy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 12:26 PM
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Nick, I thought you might enjoy this article . . .

I did, thanks for the link, though it still doesn't make me feel any connection to either Mariah Carrey or Christmas songs (what can I say, not only didn't I hear much Christmas music growing up, Christmas itself has never been a big deal in my family).


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 1:15 PM
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These kids are busking on the Embarcadero below my office today: https://m.facebook.com/TheCollegeFund

They're cute!


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 1:51 PM
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I love ska, and really liked Rude at first. But it got old quick.

Although my ska tastes do run old school.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 1:53 PM
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I have managed to make it all the way to the night of the 23rd without complaining about Christmas music but ugh this time of year is torture. I will shut up about it now.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 3:40 PM
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I go to the church Christmas dinner with my wife, and it's actually fun, and then the singing starts and I go home.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 3:56 PM
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We have a lot of Christmas music at home, try out something new most years and we ruthlessly cull. Also, we haul it out late and put it away by December 27. I don't seem to run into much in the wild, probably because I don't do much shopping in large stores. The woman running the till in the notions department at Britex yesterday was most decidedly not playing Christmas music. She was her usual and refreshingly dour self, listening to Leonard Cohen I think.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 4:08 PM
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NPR this morning had David Sedaris being funny, suggesting carols in an inappropriate style.

"Wonderful Christmastime" in the voice of Lotte Lenya, or maybe as Chinese opera.

Holy shit, this exists: "Little Drummer Boy" by the Temptations

PJ Harvey would be a good style for something-- maybe White Christmas, as a bonus track on Rid of Me


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 4:15 PM
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probably because I don't do much shopping in large stores outside of enlightened SWPL San Francisco.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 5:02 PM
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One of my neighbors* goes all out for Christmas -- big lighted lawn display, inflatable snowman, and, most perniciously, some electronic device that plays Christmas music nonstop from dusk until 10 p.m. or so. The sound quality is similar to what you got in early musical greeting cards -- that thin, whining, one-note-at-a-time sound. Also, I think it doesn't know about eighth notes or something, because all of the notes play for the same length of time, rendering the songs nearly unrecognizable. ALSO also, I think the device is deteriorating, it seems to have a range of only like five notes, which maybe is all you need for most popular Christmas songs because let's face it it's a pretty debased musical genre, but oh my fucking god. Every year around this time I start to lose my mind, but this year I'm seriously contemplating going over there and committing some vandalism.

*This neighbor lives ACROSS and DOWN the street, as in I neither live immediately next nor directly across the street from this house, my windows are closed, I'm sitting in the back of my home and I CAN STILL FUCKING HEAR HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 6:47 PM
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Umm I'd call the zoning control person on them, that's abusive.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:27 PM
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I think it doesn't know about eighth notes or something

This made me laugh.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 9:39 PM
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34

Everything about 31 is great.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-23-14 10:01 PM
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I CAN STILL FUCKING HEAR HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING.

God heard this one too many times, and decided to just send everyone to hell.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 10:09 AM
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I know one should never read the comments section

The comments sections I have most recently, stupidly read have been for the change in blood donation policy and Brangelina's gender-nonconforming kid. I have no idea why I read but it was a rotten idea.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 10:35 AM
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36 were me.

On the subject of Christmas music I will add that I'm pretty sure not getting tv channels is the way to not hate the stuff, though maybe it also has to do with having zero emotional associations with Christmas, per se, and just associating the music with a time of year one had pleasant gatherings and time off. Anyway I am listening to The Nutcracker with fresh ears, having without any intent taken maybe ten or fifteen years away from listening to it, and it is just...endless melodic invention and (as Bave pointed out) divine orchestration. The Waltz of the Flowers brought tears to my eyes, no kidding.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 10:40 AM
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37 is so very right. I bought the Gergiev recording for my girls when they were 3 or 4 and had to listen to it literally eleventy million times. I heard it again just a few days ago after a few years' hiatus, and holy crap is that some genius music. Tchaikovsky generally remains long-winded and irritating, and the Mozartiana thing just totally sucks.

My rotation recently has included a lovely recent release of mostly arcane stuff from my pals In Mulieribus, the bass clarinet quartet Christmas album that k-sky has been pimping, and Oy to the World.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 10:56 AM
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My wife adores Oy to the World, and we play it dozens of times every year. It has made the beauty of Christmas music accessible to her, emotionally, which is no mean achievement.

The uncredited Yiddish vocalist on Jingle Bells has one of the sexiest woman's voices ever.


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 11:03 AM
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The Waltz of the Snowflakes contains my #1 Least Loathed use of a Children's Chorus, I'd say. Like how the hell did he think to do that very perfect thing and how did he make it sound exactly like cold weather feels before it wears out its welcome?


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 11:29 AM
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#1 Least Loathed use of a Children's Chorus

Surely this has to be the Most Unwanted Song.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 11:33 AM
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On the subject of Christmas music I will add that I'm pretty sure not getting tv channels is the way to not hate the stuff

I find not doing Christmas shopping also works pretty well. Now if only I could avoid doctors' offices... (My [Jewish] ophthalmologist's office was playing Xmas music yesterday! There's gotta be some sort of "traitor to the people" award you get for doing that.)


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 12:47 PM
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I like early music, so the Christmas-muzak season is a subtle torment of hearing melodies I enjoy made bland with modern tunings & harmonies.

(Justice demands that 'Muzak(tm)' be denatured into muzak.)


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 1:08 PM
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My favorite Xmas song is Robert earl keen's "merry Christmas from the family" which actually gives me the eensiest smidge of actual Texas pride. It's so great. (I also find "Santa Baby" incredibly catchy, so I am totes basic.)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 6:27 PM
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Belated love for 16 and 31.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 8:25 PM
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16 is indeed excellent.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-24-14 8:28 PM
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