Re: Brazilians

1
The three women - one of them reportedly the girlfriend of one of the prisoners who escaped - arrived at the prison at 3am on Thursday morning and asked to be let inside to "chat and drink", police said.

Either those guards are really magnificently dumb or Brazil is even more awesome than I've heard.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:09 AM
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2

Doesn't the Mirror just make stuff up? Or is that the Mail?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:11 AM
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3

I was worried about 2, but I wasn't going to let that interfere with me spreading the rumor.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:12 AM
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4

Actually, I misunderstood the article - I was thinking the inmates were women who seduced their own prison guards. But this version is nice, too.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:14 AM
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5

I agree with 3. Just saying.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:14 AM
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6

Well, here it is the Daily News so that's solid! They provide a link to ReporterMT which seems to be a local Brasilian news orgamization. With bonus photos.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:25 AM
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7

The second link is in pseudo-Spanish or something.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:28 AM
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8

The Mirror isn't 100% reliable by any means, but it's a better bet than the Sun, the Mail or the Express.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:32 AM
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9

The Sun recently demonstrated that it can't report on itself accurately.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:35 AM
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10

7. If you want a short life but an interesting one, tell a Portuguese speaker that they speak pseudo-Spanish.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:35 AM
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11

9: "Study Finds We Orbit Earth"


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:37 AM
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12

I just re-read the headline: "Women's prison mass jail break after inmates in dominatrix gear handcuff male guards expecting 'mass orgy'". That's probably why I thought it was a women's prison with inmates in dominatrix gear.

I'm confused by how they arrived at that headline, if the women arrived at 3 am to chat and drink, though and the boyfriend was one of the inmates.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:44 AM
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13

That is sure a misleading headline. "Girlfriends use sexiness to help male prisoners escape from non-sexy male prison" is more accurate but less exciting. I mean it's still a little exciting but lacks that women's prison je ne sais quoi.


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 8:57 AM
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14

Life imitates art! The same thing happens in the never-released-on-DVD movie "Running Out of Luck", when Rae Dawn Chong helps Mick Jagger escape from a Brazilian prison.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 9:07 AM
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15

It's less salacious, but makes the guards more mind-bogglingly egotistical. It's one thing to believe that your sex-deprived female inmates might want to have sex with you. It's another to believe that three women came in from outside because they were just dying to have kinky police sex with you.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 9:08 AM
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14: Also has some echoes of One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest. I think McMurphy was supposed to escape but got too drunk, unlike Scatman Carothers (as a guard)--who came out better than in his other memorable Nicholoson film moment up on that mountain.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 9:44 AM
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17

The story told by the OP headline is great. I really wish it were true. The actual story is bizarre but overall much less great.

In other bizarre news (although this one is tragic rather than hilarious): this may be the most horrible news story I've read in a while:

A 6-year-old boy in Missouri endured an emotional four-hour staged kidnapping because his family thought he was being too nice to people he didn't know, police said Thursday.
During his reported ordeal the boy was lured Monday into a pickup after getting off his school bus, tied up, threatened with a gun, taken to a basement where his pants were removed, and told he could be sold into sex slavery, police said.
The boy was told in the truck by Nathan Wynn Firoved, the aunt's co-worker, that he would never "see his mommy again," and he would be "nailed to the wall of a shed," the sheriff's statement said.
The boy started to cry, police said, and Firoved, 23, showed the child a gun and said he would be harmed if he didn't stop bawling. Firoved used plastic bags to tie the child's hands and feet, police said. He took his jacket and covered the boy's head so he couldn't see.
"The victim remained in the basement for some time before he was unbound and told to go upstairs, where the victim's family lectured him about stranger danger," the statement said.

Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 11:05 AM
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18

Arguably a good idea if he never does see his mommy again on the strength of that.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 11:12 AM
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19

Jesus christ, that is fucked up.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 11:15 AM
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20

17: There's an update that I didn't read closely about how there was just a major molestation case in one of the families involved. And to 18, it does appear that he's been placed in a foster home, which seems like an extra tough transition after this ordeal.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 11:24 AM
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21

Was J. Walter Weatherman involved?


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 11:30 AM
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22

Call me an old-fashioned soft-hearted fool if you must, but I still follow the old rule about no fake abductions before sixth grade.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 11:51 AM
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23

Is it possible to read the story in the OP without imagining that everyone involved had perfectly groomed pubic hair?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 12:00 PM
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24

23 gave me a new image for the line in Werewolves of London.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 12:02 PM
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25

If the parents in 17 had wanted their kid to grow up to be an ideal candidate for the police force in the St. Louis area, they should have dressed in black face for the kidnapping.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 12:45 PM
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26

Anyone remember the TAL where the camp counselor at some Jewish camp staged the elaborate KKK hoax, riding in on horseback and hoods and marching off all the (non-costumes) counselors? It was a short bit among many.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 1:22 PM
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27

Wasn't there also a TAL bit in which a woman recounted how her father had terrorized her when she was a teenager returning home late one night?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 1:27 PM
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28

Right. It's completely reasonable once the kids hit sixth grade.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 1:28 PM
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29

Prior to that, you are limited to sneaking up on them in Minecraft wearing a Herobrine skin.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 1:37 PM
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30

Even then, no diamond sword.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 1:55 PM
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31

Is it possible to read the story in the OP without imagining that everyone involved had perfectly groomed pubic hair?

Given the digressions of the thread, by the time I read this comment I thought the OP was about the horrible "scared straight" incident. So, obviously, I was thrown.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 2:19 PM
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32

||
Côte d'Ivoire!
|>


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 3:03 PM
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33

Le pays va mal.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 4:24 PM
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34

32: Scott Sterling!


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 4:38 PM
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35

OT and spoiler alert: Tigerclaw is a dick and a murderer.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-15 6:46 PM
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36

32: In my office right now in Abidjan, and I can see a huge crowd celebrating in the stadium and in the surrounding streets - waiting for the team to arrive from Equatorial Guinea.


Posted by: Expat Lurker | Link to this comment | 02- 9-15 4:14 AM
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37

36: Awesome soccer intervention/comment from Expat Lurker. I'm getting nervous about the USWNT's chances in next summer's Women's World Cup - they lost to France for the first time ever this weekend and have struggled against top-ten sides.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 02- 9-15 8:56 AM
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