Re: We Failed

1

I bet the Protestants use bottled water.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 7:30 PM
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When cited by the City, they got a plumbing permit rather than rip it out! Stay classy there organized religion!


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 7:32 PM
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3

I think you're being really unfair about this. BILL CLINTON!


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 7:33 PM
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4

I love the "since the dawn of time, people have done stupid shit, so why single us out?" opening to the frat dude's statement.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 7:35 PM
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2: It was not actually clear to me if they took it out or not.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 7:35 PM
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6

Bill Clinton never did any improper plumbing, except metaphorically.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 7:36 PM
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7

Ah, this clarifies it. They are taking it out, and the permit is for the plumbing work to do that.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 7:37 PM
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8

It had apparently been in place for two years, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 7:39 PM
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9

The story has evolved over the course of the day, I believe that taking it out is the latest u turn maneuver.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 7:50 PM
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10

Probably, yeah.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 8:25 PM
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11

It's a very "whatever you did not do for the least of these, whatever, I got mine" sort of church.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 8:28 PM
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12

Well, you know, San Francisco.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 8:31 PM
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13

I appreciate the frat-bro's half-assed attempt at blaming the media. The same media that was complicit in making sex not evil in the first place!


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 8:37 PM
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14

I wonder why the water instead of something like this.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 8:53 PM
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15

The ancient Egyptians took naked photos of unconscious women, but not in any way we can understand.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 9:07 PM
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16

The ancient Egyptians took naked photos of unconscious women, but not in any way we can understand.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 9:08 PM
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17

"everyone does it, and I wasn't part of it at all, but I was, and I'm not sorry, except I'm sorry I got caught, and it's like snapchat--you know how everyone does morally wrong things on snapchat--except that it wasn't morally wrong, and it was supposed to be funny, but neither any particular aspect of it nor its general concept was funny, it was more satirical, as if we were living up to some hypothetical third-party's worst-case version of bad frats, in jest, but it wasn't satire, and it wasn't hurting anyone, except this one chick who specifically complained, but we ignored her complaints and re-posted the group in private because we for the most part we needed to do important frat organizing work on the board, and anyway it was a private group so no one's privacy was being violated, except to the 144 members of the FB group, but one of them leaked and no one could have foreseen that would happen on the internet, ever, and we were all deeply disappointed, and that was the real source of the privacy violation for the chicks, but it was because he was a narc so fuck that guy." did I miss any?

god, I can't remember the last time I've wanted so badly to punch someone in the dick, and I recently read a kotaku comments thread about feminism. way less dick-punch-worthy, and I promise that's saying a lot for the sirs dix-a-lot of everything you hate about MRAs, topped with shredded iceberg lettuce and jarred resentment salsa in an old el paso taco shell of nerd. oh god, and a person at the place of which no straight thing is ever made has taken it upon himself to chastise me constantly about my unfair prejudice against male nerds. 'it's not their fault they're so socially awkward that they end up stalking you by accident! white male nerds don't have any kind of 'privilege' wrt any other group, because hot girls didn't give them pity blowjobs in 8th grade!' that dude is also cruising for a dick-punching.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 9:13 PM
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11: actually, SF is on arrakis, and the church is doing the traditional thing where during dinner, while the nobles splash water everywhere from lazily tipped glasses and unneeded fingerbowls, the servants then wring out the towels with which they have mopped up this cruel extravagance and distribute the soppings to the poor. when will the great and good of california realize it is a desert planet? probably only when it is too late and rob half'uad'ib has raised a might army of fremen warriors to implement halfordismo. this will consist mainly of invading neighboring states and stealing their water. no, wait...maybe a certain someone's sanguine outlook is colored by his arcane knowledge of vast, untapped reservoirs beneath the surface of california, which await only the coming of the final member of judas priest...


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 9:24 PM
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19

Erotic fanfiction is the other thread.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 9:39 PM
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20

Comment #1 made me laugh out loud, but this is not even funny.


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 03-18-15 9:56 PM
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19: totes good point.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 1:33 AM
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22

17 gets it so right. That bro is unbrolievable.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 5:13 AM
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23

17 gets it so right. That bro is unbrolievable.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 5:13 AM
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24


I sense that that bro is destined to one day bear the title "District Manager", or possibly "Vice President, Mid Atlantic Region", and God help the people who work under him.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 5:54 AM
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25

They at least get paid. Save your pity for his clients.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 5:57 AM
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26

17.last: so, everyone's favorite MIT professor inadvertently started a movement? Ick.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 5:59 AM
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27

26: Nah, it was already there.

Blaming "licentiousness" for his actions. Fuck that guy.

I'd also like to request the high school English teachers of the world to stop using the word "satire." Whether being misunderstood willfully or not, it's existence as a descriptor has done more harm than provided use.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 6:46 AM
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28

18: come now, the servants sold the water to the poor. tell me of the waters of thy church doorways, usul.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 7:15 AM
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29

I sense that that bro is destined to one day bear the title "District Manager", or possibly "Vice President, Mid Atlantic Region", and God help the people who work under him.

Unless is identity is leaked, I suspect he has a good chance of getting the title "Senator." If his identity is liked, he can still have a title like "market analyst."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 7:17 AM
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30

Our state legislature is pointlessly big, but not that big.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 7:22 AM
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31

Can the frat website have been all bad if it produced this justification? I kind of love this guy. It's like he took the "... and I'm not going to sit here and let anyone badmouth the United States of America!" scene from Animal House literally.


Posted by: Tim "rip" O | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:07 AM
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32

"It's outrageous that this is being promoted in the media ... the same media that approves of sexual license in the first place!" is just so awesome.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:09 AM
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33

The age at which you can get your sexual license varies by state, and in some cases you need a learners permit first. The road test is a bitch.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:13 AM
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34

27,32: The frat guy should go old school and blame the 60s.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:13 AM
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35

TRO, you can't celebrate this guy. He's not awesome on any level. He is the enemy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:15 AM
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36

The age at which you can get your sexual license varies by state, and in some cases you need a learners permit first. The road test is a bitch.

Apropos.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:18 AM
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37

||
The guy who engineered the parking privatization deal at Ohio State is leaving">http://thelantern.com/2015/03/cfo-geoff-chatas-to-leave-ohio-state/">leaving the university to work for the company that leased the parking. I know it's all business as usual but goddamn I'm so mad I feel like I'm growing fangs.
|>


Posted by: Abraham Lincoln | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:22 AM
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38

It's like he took the "... and I'm not going to sit here and let anyone badmouth the United States of America!" scene from Animal House literally

His interview is so over-the-top that I think we have to take seriously the possibility that he intended it to be satirical. (He is clearly familiar with the concept of satire.)


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:25 AM
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39

37: Do you work there, Abe? No place for an honest man!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:25 AM
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40

33: Especially tough if you confuse left and right.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:30 AM
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41

This is the second worst thing about OSU parking. The worst was where they put the pillars in Union Garage.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:30 AM
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42

38: He's familiar with the fact that there is a concept that has been referred to as satire, but I don't think he has the definition quite right.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:33 AM
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43

42: unless of course his jumbling of the concept was itself part of the satire. This guy is either a talented satirist or he's a moron.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:38 AM
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44

Who is he satirizing?


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:39 AM
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45

43: Moron.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:40 AM
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46

Fraternity dudes.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:40 AM
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47

46 to 44.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:40 AM
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42: But that's the funny part! You must have not paid attention in class during the Use of Meta-Satirical Tropes for Exonerative Obfuscation.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:43 AM
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49

Hmm, guess I should have previewed.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:43 AM
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50

We all await the reveal of Greek Life as an Extended Mass Exercise in Performance Art. The production has been pretty seamless to date.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:45 AM
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51

So, he's satirizing himself. That's practically meaningless. What is his message with this satire? That frat guys are assholes? We already knew that. In fact, we already knew that this specific frat guy is an asshole.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:45 AM
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52

We already knew that the Titanic was going to sink , but that doesn't mean we didn't enjoy watching Jack freeze to death.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:46 AM
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53

48: Remember when those English landlords started actually harvesting Irish babies for glove leather, satirically? They were hilarious.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:47 AM
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54

Yes, I agree that we should sink this frat into an iceberg.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:48 AM
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55

He's like the dude who claimed that his months-long online harassement of Brianna Wu was satire.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:52 AM
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56

"Satire" is the new "I apologize for being a grotesque excuse for a shitbag".


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:55 AM
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57

So, he's satirizing himself. That's practically meaningless.

I completely disagree with this. You think it's impossible for, say, a liberal to satirize what he thinks are the worst characteristics of liberalism?

What is his message with this satire? That frat guys are assholes?

Yes. Clueless assholes, specifically.

We already knew that.

Who already knew that? Everyone? No. Like all satire, those who are already in agreed with the critique can laugh, while those not in agreement with the critique can be challenged by it.

In fact, we already knew that this specific frat guy is an asshole.

This assumes too much.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:57 AM
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58

I get confused with all the references to "Greek life" because it makes me think of drinking ouzo in the morning and not paying taxes. And then I think, "Yeah, that's probably about right."


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 8:58 AM
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59

While 57 could hypothetically be true, it all crumbles because Peep correctly resolved 43.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:03 AM
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57.1: Okay, fair enough, you can satirize yourself. But you have to be very careful in doing so and back off to let people know that it was in fact intended as satire. A liberal who satirizes the worst characteristics of liberalism by going out and performing those characteristics in public is just someone who exhibits the worst characteristics of liberalism. If your joke requires people assuming you're not an asshole to get the humor and you present it to people who don't know you (especially when you're anonymous!) your joke has failed.

I can't imagine anyone who would wouldn't have come to the "frat guys are assholes" conclusion from the actual act would come to that conclusion due to this.

57.last: We have strong reason to believe this guy's an asshole, unless he's the one member of that list who turned them in. I'll take those odds.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:05 AM
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61

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Jammies is working on race cars. He's the one with the ZZ Top beard.

|>


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:10 AM
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60.1 is interesting. Is there a different word than "satire" for satire that is only intended to be humorous, and not didactic?

I mean, you could practically hear the guy smirking at some of those lines. Unless he's a complete moron, he must have realized they sounded absurd.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:16 AM
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63

That's a really big beard.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:17 AM
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Powder blue Bentley GT convertible on freeway with "Settlers of Catan" bumper stickers all over it -- what the what


Posted by: T"R"O | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:21 AM
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65

I'd assume it's someone involved in making the game.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:24 AM
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66

He could list the beard as a dependent if it has a SSN.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:25 AM
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67

Next up, that Jinx guy is going to claim that his murders were satirical.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:25 AM
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66: Everyone please note that Moby is not a licensed tax counselor.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:27 AM
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69

I can't grow a beard that long. I've tried.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:29 AM
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Is there a different word than "satire" for satire that is only intended to be humorous, and not didactic?

Sitcom?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 9:56 AM
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"Powder blue Bentley GT convertible on freeway with "Settlers of Catan" bumper stickers all over it -- what the what"

Don't look back. You can never look back.


Posted by: opinionated don henley | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 10:57 AM
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72

That's why I want a car with a back-up camera.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 11:00 AM
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73

DON HENLEY MUST DIE!


Posted by: Opinionated Mojo Nixon | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 11:00 AM
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74

I did my best.


Posted by: Opinionated Cocaine | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 11:04 AM
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75

Clearly people today are more charitable when you claim that your offensive behavior constitutes "satire" than when you claim it's "performance art".

This is why Michael Stone's legal defense didn't work.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 11:23 AM
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76

Speaking of failure, is AT&T any worse than T-Mobile for wireless? I'm thinking about paying a bit extra a month and getting a whole new set of network holes in exchange for a new phone.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 11:50 AM
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77

If it's somehow horribly worse, don't tell me. I just ordered.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 12:07 PM
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78

Somehow, if I haven't purchased a semi-important piece of electronic equipment in the past 24 months, I start to get a compulsion to shop until I do.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 12:17 PM
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I suppose all networks are local, so this is a fact-specific question, but generally in most of the country AT&T's network is much better than T-Mobile.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 12:19 PM
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80

That's good. I did get a little tired of losing my data connection for brief intervals while sitting in my office with a clear view of several cell towers.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 12:24 PM
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AT&T is basically solid all around here, with an inexplicable weak spot around Highland Park


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-19-15 12:42 PM
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82

28: I am sorry to say that I was conflating the reforms initiated by house atreides with the harkonnen water slops sale policy. under the brief reign of house atreides dune residents could get free drinking water during the time that the nobles ate their meals inside, but no excessive spillage or fingerbowls were involved. I regret the error and apologize to anyone who was offended.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 03-20-15 4:38 AM
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28,82: awesome


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 03-20-15 5:09 AM
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AT&T is generally better than T-Mobile. Whether it's better than Verizon is a local issue. I've been in parts of Colorado where there was no GSM service--only CDMA and Verizon was great--and on mountains where there was AT&T but nothing else.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 03-20-15 5:18 AM
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85

under the brief reign of house atreides

What's with this "brief" bullshit?


Posted by: Opinionated Leto II | Link to this comment | 03-20-15 5:21 AM
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86

That book did drag on forever.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-20-15 5:56 AM
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87

once again, I'd like to apologize to everyone whose ancestors survived the machine rebellion. remember the short rule of duke leto atreides I over arrakis before the emperor treacherously handed the planet back over to house harkonnen? the water-at-the-door policy I mention existed during this brief time. it's possible it happened later, because one never knows.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 03-20-15 8:25 PM
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88

everyone does realize that the local name for this church is St. Maytag, right? washing away those sins, right and left. and then left and right.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-20-15 8:41 PM
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89

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Hmm, "Arrakis" wouldn't be a bad name for the place I'm going to along the lines of Alameida's "Narnia".

Someone previously suggested Mordor, but it's really adjacent to Mordor.

|>


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-20-15 8:43 PM
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ha! I didn't realize it was that church. it does indeed look just like a washing machine agitator. yes, barry, arrakis sounds good...


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 03-21-15 12:35 AM
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