Re: Housing inequality

1

Got three walk-in closets for two people

4x5, 5x5, 6x8. The second is Fibber McGee-ish

Can't think of anything more I would want in a house than I have. Maybe a wading pool for the dogs. Tried to dig one, the intertwined root system in caliche soil broke my spirit.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:22 AM
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We eliminated about 8 square feet from our already small closet to create a small hallway that allowed us to create/access a new bedroom. Totally worth it.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:38 AM
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Our yard is not fenceable, is the biggest complaint about our house. I had to buy a virtual fence sonar system thingie for the dog. Haven't tested it yet.

Also, the floorboard heaters make arranging furniture a hassle.


Posted by: Trumwill | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:44 AM
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I just got a new house, and plan to re-do the 2 bedrooms/bathroom/hallway into a master bedroom suite with a generous walk in closet as well as walk in shower. Not sure which one I want more... probably the walk in shower.


Posted by: Rance | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:47 AM
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walk in shower

What other kinds of shower are there?


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:49 AM
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5: Climb-into-tub shower.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:50 AM
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3.last: I hear you on that one.

That's related to a house dream of mine, though: get custom covers for all the baseboard heaters. Including custom cornerpieces for the not-90-degree-corners where the front of the house curves out.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:51 AM
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5; Also sit-down showers.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:52 AM
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5: Also April.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:52 AM
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I just realized that I don't really have a fantasy of a dream house anymore. I have dreams about what to do with our current house, per Blume but... am pretty darn content with our house, all around. #firstworldsolutions


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:01 AM
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Will peep keep going until he reaches "golden"? Let's wait and find out!


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:03 AM
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You're all horrible people.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:04 AM
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Also our broker was awesome and bought us a sweet BBQ grill, ogged.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:07 AM
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I used to have plans for various remodels, but after 12 years with kids it's time to paint and do basic repairs again.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:07 AM
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11: No, I'm done.

12: That's not a nice thing to say.

10: I've never had fantasies of a dream house. I've had the good fortune to always be content with my living situation, except some of the time I lived in dormitories in college. My only fantasy is that I not be responsible for fixing anything, But, now I just call Dave, our handyman, so it's not that far from the fantasy.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:12 AM
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I have lived in some weird apartments in converted mansions, includin a converted carriage house (6 x 18 with two floors) and one accessible only via a winding servants staircase.

But the attic apt was freaky. Up a narrow staircase from third floor, a 5 x 10 kitchen/dining, a 10 x 12 living sleeping area, and then a 5 x 10 bathroom, tub no shower. Slanting ceilings of course. Cheap old early 50s fixtures and wallpaper.

And then off the kitchen, was the 8 x 12 thick shelved, including ceiling and floor, cedar-lined closet/pantry. I presume when it was a 1910s mansion, this was where they stored the furs and linens for the maids to access, used to get high just walking into the damn thing and breathing.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:15 AM
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I want a house that's fully wheelchair accessible because I have a shitty back and I suspect that it's only going to get worse. I want a big shower with grab bars everywhere and multiple shower heads so that shower sex isn't a dangerous pain in the ass. I also want a a hot tub or at least a whirlpool bath. While I'm fantasizing, I'll have a two car garage that can be converted into a big workshop with central compressed air and dust handling, non-skid flooring, a modest overhead crane, and a full complement of metal and woodworking tools. Throw in an electronics bench in the corner, too please.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:24 AM
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I'm living in a wonderful house, so my house fantasies now are that it has been cleaned by someone other than me. There is so much crap lying around-- in summer I am going to try to take one room a month and decrapify it. Kids, plus I am a saver and so is my partner--not a great combination


Posted by: Miranda | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:25 AM
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My biggest complaint about my house is the lack of basement. Maybe someday, but it would be expensive.

Also, we just tried to install a Murphy bed, one of the panels was the wrong size, and the springs are so strong that the bed won't stay down even with a mattress on it.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:28 AM
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I blame heebie's architect for her lack of walk-in closets.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:30 AM
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Hmm. One of those multi headed showers with sprayers on the side, too.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:30 AM
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19.2 I think I saw that in a Three Stooges episode.

I dream of things other than houses.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:35 AM
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23

Personally I don't have any particular dream house features. Location is much more important to me than anything about the house itself.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:36 AM
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3.1 sounds like you're going to shock yourself.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:37 AM
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four bedrooms and one kid means two ginornous walk in closets (one with a guest bed in it).


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:42 AM
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25: Housing inequality! Many of us have no walk in closets and you have two. You have to give us one!

(this isn't in contradiction to 15.3 -- this is for my wife)


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:48 AM
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One of my only complaints about my current place is that there's a concrete walk around the side for the people behind me to get to their apartments, so I've had to get used to people walking directly outside all my windows occasionally. It only recently occurred to me that I could get some opacifying film to put over the windows and thereby keep the curtains open more regularly.

It has continuous closets over maybe 30 feet.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:50 AM
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While we're complaining about trivial things, I accidentally bought skim milk instead of 2%, and it really is disgusting. It's like drinking sweetened vaguely milk-flavored water. I kind of want to just throw it out and get normal milk, but that is wasteful in ways that bother me.

For houses, what I really want is an in-unit washer and dryer. If I have that, I will have made it. I actually do have a walk-in closet in my room, but we have two people's worth of stuff in space that is meant for one person, so it's still cluttered and driving me crazy.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:55 AM
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You can add back some of the fat content by stirring in some tallow.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:56 AM
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Our neighbors behind us run some kind of a plumbing supply company out of their driveway. I guess my dream house would include that being elsewhere.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:58 AM
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Location is much more important to me than anything about the house itself.

I think this is probably true of me as well, but I suspect we have very different preferred locations.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:00 AM
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I would like my kitchen counters to be level and unwobbly, and my kitchen cabinets to be such that lengths of Thomas the Tank Engine wooden train-tracks were not important structural components. It's just never seemed quite worth it to redo the cabinets and countertops unless we were going to do a serious remodel, and it's really never seemed worth it to do the remodel.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:05 AM
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31: I doubt it, actually. I suspect I would prefer your current location to mine, at least.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:07 AM
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I have a possibly-irrational and definitely-overly-judgmental belief that anyone who can't fit their clothes into a traditionally sized, non-walk-in closet simply has too many clothes.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:08 AM
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We're planning to put our house on the market in a couple of weeks, and are looking at (bigger!) houses right now. Which is exciting, on the one hand, but a giant pain in the ass on the other.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:08 AM
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I mean, my location right this second is O'Hare, which is hard to prefer to anything. But I was speaking more generally in 33.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:11 AM
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37

I liked the part of O'Hare with the trippy lights.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:13 AM
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So apo you moving to a bigger house because more kids are on the way?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:17 AM
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37: The Terminal of Tomorrow!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:17 AM
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Or a new grandkid moving in or finally getting the whole frat back under one roof or what?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:17 AM
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Need additional walk-in closets for, uh, long term guests?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:17 AM
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35: You've got a kid moving out and you're buying a bigger house? Did you win the lottery? Or did Roberta get a new job? If so on either count, Congrats!


Posted by: Bostonisngirl | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:18 AM
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Keegan lives with my ex (though just one street over from us). When I bought this house, it was me, Roberta, and Keegan 1/2 time. We've added two more full-time children since then and I haven't been able to get them started smoking so as to stunt their growth, so now we're just constantly under each other's feet.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:22 AM
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I've been in this house about 12-13 years now. I do make significantly more money than I did in 2002.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:24 AM
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Are you going to bring the brick floors with you or are you confident the younger ones' forehead callouses are thick enough?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:28 AM
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multiple shower heads

Including the Lyndon Johnson preference?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:29 AM
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46: you want a shower that pisses on your shoes?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:30 AM
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22: agreed. I haven't seen it myself, contractors worked while Cassandane was home and I was at work, but I figure both she and they can't be wrong.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:30 AM
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I didn't get the reference in 46, and googling only turns up the following:

It's said that President Lyndon Johnson had a shower-head installed in the White House with a force so strong it knocked over anyone else who tried to take a shower there.

Is that the intended reference?


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:33 AM
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I assumed it was "don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining" figuring Texas aphorisms, LBJ, but I don't actually know.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:37 AM
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I would definitely like more closet space, I tell myself that the lack of closets contributes to the clutter.

What I really want is a space about 20% larger but (a) that seems silly since the current space is large enough if I was willing to get rid of some of the boxes of books that I don't read but which have sentimental value and (b) I like my location and moving doesn't seem worth it.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:37 AM
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Location is important to me but I have to factor in expense. I'm paying just about as much rent as I can afford but it's also nearly the lowest rent I could find and still live alone.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:38 AM
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46,49: I want shower heads so that are adjustable from drizzle up to pressure washer levels. And the vibrating shower head on a hose so you can easily wash your wabblies as well as get a nice massage.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:38 AM
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50: less aphoristic than just kinda grody. But I don't know what essear was referring to.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:43 AM
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My dream house would be not surrounded by a bunch of Greek houses. And I wouldn't share a laundry room with a bunch of stoner dudes who constantly misplace the padlock to the laundry room (which is bad, because I keep my drums and bike in there, too).


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:48 AM
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One thing I didn't expect to love, but I love, love, love: two separate living spaces. One noisy with TV and toys and everything can be beat up in there. One calm and soothing with computers and quiet and the kitchen. They are connected by a hallway, containing the bedrooms, which is sort of a weird layout maybe, but I love it.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:51 AM
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I was referring to the recent revelation that LBJ demanded that the White House shower have a nozzle aimed directly at his penis.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:52 AM
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Shoot, I just realized that 34 maybe violated op.last. Sorry.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:55 AM
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Oh, here's a weird space dilemma - we inherited my grandmother's 1960s teak dining room table, which is amazing and expands to sit 16. So it came with 16 chairs. Right now we have it at the sitting-6 size, which means there are 10 extra beautiful non-stacking chairs, which takes up a monstrous amount of floorspace. Some of them are crowded around the walls of the room with the table, and it looks a little weird. Plus we have two more chairs which are better for attaching booster seats to. Massive chair overflow.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:55 AM
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I would put them in my walk-in closet, but noooooooo.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:04 AM
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56: We're going to have something like that by the end of the year (renovation gods willing). We're very excited at the prospect that the toys and other miscellaneous kid-crap can have a home outside of the living room. Ours will be connected by a staircase instead of a hallway, but the principle is much the same. So I'm glad to hear you like it!


Posted by: Osgood Yousbad | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:05 AM
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56: We're going to have something like that by the end of the year (renovation gods willing). We're very excited at the prospect that the toys and other miscellaneous kid-crap can have a home outside of the living room. Ours will be connected by a staircase instead of a hallway, but the principle is much the same. So I'm glad to hear you like it!


Posted by: Osgood Yousbad | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:05 AM
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I'm currently living in something that, but for its location, is my dream house. The huge windows in the family room off the kitchen could be huger, I suppose, but that would lead to energy consumption issues. And we could redo the master bathroom, but that will probably happen in due time. What we can't do is lift it up and move it back to NorCal.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:14 AM
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59: Could they go in an attic, or be hung from the ceiling and covered in a garage? It seems like a great thing to have if you ever have a mondo dinner party.


Posted by: Rance | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:14 AM
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I just want my house not to have giant gaping holes in the 100-year-old plaster everywhere, and I want someone else to make this happen since plaster repair is the Worst. And also I would like someone to do a complete rewiring out of the goodness of their heart, since the odds of ever having the 45-50,000 that it would cost are pretty bad. Also someone should replace my lawn, or what I laughingly call a "lawn" which is really mostly weeds that I keep mowed.

Basically a dream house would be one built since the fifties on a quieter street.

On the other hand, this was pretty affordable and my room has two large closets. One, of course, is unfinished and known as the "scary closet" because we could not initially open it when we bought the house and were afraid that it was full of corpses or possibly raccoons.

It's too big, though - not a problem I really thought I'd have. But everyone who lives here spends most of their time in their rooms or the kitchen, so the four other large downstairs rooms sit unused almost all the time.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:15 AM
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Could they go in an attic, or be hung from the ceiling and covered in a garage? It seems like a great thing to have if you ever have a mondo dinner party.

We do sometimes, and it is great! We got amazing furniture from her, about ten years earlier than I would have ideally liked, but gift horses, mouths, etc.

The attic with space gets so hot that I'm worried it would damage the chairs over time, and we don't actually have a garage.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:21 AM
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four other large downstairs rooms sit unused almost all the time.

!! That is big.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:23 AM
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Maybe if you can't have a walk in closet, you can have an outdoor shed?


Posted by: Rance | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:23 AM
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67: It kind of is. I mean, really, "average-sized" rather than large, but there are four and we don't use them much except basically as a place to store all the bookshelves.

My actual dream home is going to have so many built in shelves, though.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:26 AM
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Oooh, I love built-ins, of which we sadly have none, because this house was built in the late 90s.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:28 AM
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What I actually do for clothes is sort them all, a lot. Some of just packing up nonseasonal clothes, and some of swapping out wardrobes. Up until recently I had FOUR complete sets of clothes - pre-Hawaii, maternity, post-Hawaii and -Pokey, and post-Ace and -Rascal. I'm now down to three.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:30 AM
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Ha, the kitchen used to naturally be part of the noisy, grubby part of the house. History rhymes.

I would like my house to be one block east or west of where it is - half the size might be a fair tradeoff - but the houses on those streets are all bigger to huge. I think people realize they can't improve the neighborhood and just add on as they get bored. In the next crash the houses will have to go back to being boardinghouses, I guess.

Only one of our closets has a window, and I don't think you can keep them properly aired without. My mother says she doesn't remember closet windows anywhere else. Yesno?


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:31 AM
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It's a safe bet that I will never again wear anything from pre-Hawaii, but I told myself years ago not to bother with them until I was done changing sizes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:32 AM
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I've never heard of closet windows being a thing. Nor airing out closets properly.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:33 AM
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In home ownership news, I went to the Natural History museum's new and really excellent display on local wildlife, and I learned that the forest of spiderwebs in my terrifying garage of old furniture are most likely created by either en masse black widow spiders or a species of "fake" black widow spider that uses the same web pattern. Exciting!


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:34 AM
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I am glad your closet was not full of raccoon corpses, Frowner. I am also envious of four! Rooms! For books! None of them are tempting as reading rooms? Natural light, armchairs, little tables for a drink?


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:34 AM
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Also, we have an add a bedroom and a bath, shrink the current master bedroom and keep the same square footage renovation coming up, assuming it's reasonably possible to do this. Effectively spending lots of money to create less personal space for myself.


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:37 AM
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Having a garage of death filled with venomous spiders is a great way to discipline your kids, though. It's like your own personal black site.


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:41 AM
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Effectively spending lots of money to create less personal space for myself.

Is that a dieting technique?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:43 AM
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If I'd known how much roomier the renovated kitchen would be, I'd have stolen a foot of depth in the wall shared with the dining room for storage. All the tablecloths my WASPy little heart desires, hung on rods. And I doubt storage is ever regretted later - has anyone ever moved into na house with too much?


Posted by: Clew | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:44 AM
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There is a "fake" black widow that spins similar webs!!!! I must know more about this! I spend some ongoing attention on spotting black widow webs.

The house things I fantasize about are a bike shed, chicken coop and raised beds with bricked-in walkways. (Not pavers! Brick in a nice running bond, maybe herringbone.) When the raised beds are put in, I will get heavy machinery to scrape off the top foot of grass and soil. Then we will put in brick and I will never pull Bermuda grass again. I will sweep walkways, not weed them. Do not try to tell me stupid bullshit about weed cloth and mulch.

None of these things will happen in my current house, but we have bought (with family money, and don't ourselves own) a duplex to move into in a couple more years. It has the yard I want and the improvements I dream about are outside. Oh and a giant trellis with wisteria, kiwi and muscat grapes.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:45 AM
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I don't regret storage, but I have drawers sitting empty.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:46 AM
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76: Well, we're all people who are pretty introverted and the four rooms all flow into each other, so that effectively means that only one activity can be going on in the entire non-kitchen downstairs at a time or people get uncomfortable. If it were more of a Georgian house and the rooms were closed off from each other, things would be different. Also, the downstairs is rather dark.

It's actually a great house for parties and meetings, though. And I have the nicest bedroom, so spending time there is no real chore.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:51 AM
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10 extra beautiful non-stacking chairs, which takes up a monstrous amount of floorspace

You could hang them on pegs, Shaker-style. Then you'd be taking up a monstrous amount of wall space, but at least you could sweep.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:55 AM
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Here are some of the cuddly fellow living creatures that inhabit my house and garage.


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:57 AM
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72.3: Closets with windows usually seem to be for the appearance from the outside of the house. Though I have seen some skylights over very large (>90 square foot) walk-in-closets, and that seems reasonable.

I go back an forth; I want every room to be used and useful, but junk storage is so much easier than sorting and throwing--especially things not my own. Reviewing so many house plans, it's easy to drool.


Posted by: Mooseking | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:58 AM
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Fair enough. Now I'm imagining setting up towering bookcases to make caves of reading, each with one down pointing lamp. Then it wouldn't be as good for meetings though.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:58 AM
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86.1: don't think so, they're often at the side or back, and smaller windows than the rest of the house. Possibly a combination of turn of the centuy hygienic ideals and the humidity problem that we can't possibly have.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:02 AM
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Something like http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-49378724.html would be my dream house, I guess. At the moment.

This http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-48699973.html is nice (it's for half the house!) but has way too much garden for me.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:06 AM
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85 - I like that silver one!


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:07 AM
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Our current house is just about perfectly suited to me in every meaningful way. Ideal location, adequate size and layout, good quality finish. It even has a modestly sized walk-in closet. The couple of things I would change about it are comparatively minor: replace the superfluous whirlpool tub with a walk-in shower (planned); more headroom in the basement so I don't have to duck under the floor joist (impractical to change).

What I sometimes fantasize about is having a second house somewhere else to retreat to, like a timber frame cabin in Vermont or a stone cottage in Dordogne.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:09 AM
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83: That kind of space makes me think of hobbies that would benefit from being left spread out. A table with a jigsaw puzzle on it? A sewing area? Electronics workbench? Woodshop?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:14 AM
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the superfluous whirlpool tub

How could that be superfluous?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:15 AM
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93: do you know anyone with a whirlpool tub who's ever actually used it?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:16 AM
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I don't think I know anyone with a whirlpool tub.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:21 AM
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90:

No Ronde van Vlaanderen this year?


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:22 AM
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Whirlpool tubs are fun for kids.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:22 AM
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94: There was one in the house I used to own with my ex, and i used it occasionally. It's pretty relaxing.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:30 AM
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99

We had a whirlpool tub when we moved in, in a butler's pantry converted to a bathroom directly off the dining room. NO. Also the whirlpool needed to be cleaned approximately twice per actual use. Kitchen rework moved doors so there's now a half-bath with a nice shower off the mudroom instead. (But no butler's pantry, sorry latter days.)


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:35 AM
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My mother got a debridement tank specifically to make an outdoors heated soaking tub, and then it became a rabbit dig, but the rabbits are dead. Tub should go back on the project list.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 10:38 AM
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But no butler's pantry

AM I SUPPOSED TO USE A KITCHEN CABINET? I CAN'T BANG THE CHAMBERMAID POLISH THE SILVER IN A KITCHEN CABINET


Posted by: OPINIONATED BUTLER | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 11:58 AM
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Too right. I'm off to the moving pictures, Pops!


Posted by: Opinionated chambermaid | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 12:18 PM
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||

In case anyone needed confirmation: yes, a Republican president means a war with Iran.

I don't know any way to read this aside from the natural inclination to think "Wait, is this a prank?"

|>


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 12:19 PM
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Oh yeah, I wish my house didn't have so many cracks in the walls. They're probably harmless, they're mostly not growing, but it's hard not to worry.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 12:29 PM
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Cyrus, every six months I put a faint pencil mark across the ends of or plaster cracks. Really comforting to distinguish seasonal from falling ceilings from settling, and to know if the settling is accelerating.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 12:44 PM
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We had black widows in NM. While we were there, I went from donning the equivalent of body armor to squish one with a shovel to realizing that you leave them alone, they leave you alone. You still don't put your hand in something you can't see inside...gentlemen.

As for the house, I am Von Wafer. That's right, we're both circumcised. We just bought a house (on half an acre!) and started with "updating" plans and now have a major renovation going on with no room untouched and a couple totally gutted. Not to mention that I bought one of those you're-a-bad-person ranges, although by a pure miracle I found it new for half price on Craigslist. But the house is in the Chicago burbs so despite it being very nice and just a mile from my mom, in a year or two I'll have to ask one of you to please kill me now.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 1:00 PM
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I bought one of those you're-a-bad-person ranges

At first I thought this meant you'd bought a gun range.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 1:11 PM
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Never go full American.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 1:16 PM
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I tried to google what range a bad person should buy, without much luck, but did learn that Obama is banning woodstoves because he wants to yoke self-sufficient pioneers to the tyrannical likes of Solyndra.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 1:26 PM
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The very recent archives.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 1:36 PM
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Idp - day trip! Weren't going to go, but £24 return on the ferry is irresistible although a bit crazy. Can't do a longer trip because I'm working. And then an overnight trip for the Paris-Roubaix next weekend. If you're watching, we'll be at the top of the Kwaremont and C will doubtless be wearing http://www.bigbobblehats.co.uk/images/hp14a.jpg (which proved very easy to spot last month when he went to fucking Tuscany for the Strade Bianchi).


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 1:45 PM
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111:
Wide open with both Cancellara and Boonen out. I'm excited.


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 1:54 PM
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(Not pavers! Brick in a nice running bond, maybe herringbone.)

Herringbone is lovely, but if your goal is zero weeds, and your installation will be between raised beds, then you're just creating trouble for yourself. Bricks laid flat and run in bond between two sets of beds can be tightly laid and stay in place; herringbone will want to open up, plus it's a million cuts.

Last year we eliminated the last of the grass in the front, and it's a glorious natives* garden now. At some point the grass will go from the back, but the stupid black walnuts make it hard to grow most things, so it's a bigger project in both scale and difficulty. The edges beyond the dripline are pretty great, but the rest....

*well, a couple non-natives, but mostly natives


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 2:00 PM
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I'm going to be in the Chicago burbs for a few days in June and October, with that description I can totally stalk ogged now.
We are bad people and are going to install sod and irrigation in our yard. We have lots of water, suck it west coasters.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 2:15 PM
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The Chicago Branch of my family keeps moving farther and farther out into the 'burbs. Eventually, I imagine, they'll all be living in Joliet.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 2:21 PM
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I'm going to visit my sister this weekend in Oak Park for Passover. 2 seders! I many not survive!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 2:27 PM
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116: Well, at least I can't get any stupider.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 2:28 PM
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I'm off to Passover dinner in a few minutes. Faith, my Muslim brothers; it's a long game.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 3:01 PM
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I just bought lamb for Easter. The butcher helpfully explained that he had American lamb, not the gamey-tasting stuff from New Zealand.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 3:27 PM
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119: chasing orcs or being held prisoner by them tends to toughen up a small animal


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 3:37 PM
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Just letting Keir know he needs to start at HyVee.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 3:48 PM
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119: At that very moment, a New Zealand butcher was explaining to a customer that he had New Zealand lamb and not the gamey-tasting stuff from America, only counterclockwise.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 3:55 PM
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Another European invasive, this spider seems to be displacing our native black widows in urban areas

Did someone honestly write this with a straight face, as if this was some kind of tragedy?


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 4:00 PM
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123: I didn't read that passage as having any affect.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 4:04 PM
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I am late to the dream house conversation as I did actual work much of today except when through some idiot combination of misplaced politeness and not speaking Korean I was ordering and eating a $30 lunch.

We had to draw dream rooms in 6th grade art and I think we all did stuff like pool tables that would rise from the floor or something. I'd actually be curious to see mine. It was a fun project.

My jaded-by-life revision/downgrade would have insulation and some solution to the problem of cats that like to wake you at 6 am. Maybe I will think of other things once the thread is completely dead.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 4:22 PM
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walk in shower
What other kinds of shower are there?

Oh that's funny. Like two days ago I described the one feature I envy of my sister's apartment as a walk in shower to someone or other and then we both laughed at me for making some very bizarre distinction and what other kind of shower is there.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 4:24 PM
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My wife's taken 3 days off to prepare for Seder. Fortunately, I was able to work from home today and get up to help when needed. Guests are starting to arrive now, we'll have 18.


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 4:30 PM
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I mean 125.3 came out wrong partly. We have a really wonderful apartment that I am very content with (because I've stopped thinking about the rent in any normal, sane way.) I just don't have particular dreams of pool tables that rise from the floor anymore. I guess I would like, if we're just daydreaming:

-a hottub or maybe just a backyard pool with appropriate weather
-a porch with enough room to sit on though our narrow porch is turning into an interesting little garden
-a shower with lots of water pressure and
-(sing it with me) for the whole thing not to be in California


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 4:39 PM
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We had to draw dream rooms in 6th grade art and I think we all did stuff like pool tables that would rise from the floor or something

We did that too and I recall something about a bedroom with an 18-inch ring of wood flooring around the edges of the room (for dressers and whatnot) with the entire rest of the floor in the middle of the room being a recessed giant mattress (recessed such that the top of the mattress would be level with the surrounding ring of wood flooring). Honestly, that still seems like a great design, although god knows what a custom giant-sized mattress like that would cost, not to mention the custom sheet sets. Although now that I think about it, maybe you could do it with a regular kind size mattress, and just adjust size of the wood flooring as necessary. But a bigger mattress would be better.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 4:49 PM
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For a while my friend Chris slept on two kingsize mattresses pushed together. I called it his 'acre of bed'.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 4:52 PM
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128: Given that it is in California, the hot tub and shower may not be feasible, but the little garden could still work if you're planting cacti and succulents.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 4:54 PM
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OK, you need to put the bed on hydraulics so you can raise it up and down from the recess in the wooden floor. Also build a seawater aquarium with sharks* into the wall if you're going to do it. Let's see, one of the walls needs to be a floor to ceiling window, with one of those drop down automatic curtains, with a view directly out onto the ocean.


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 4:59 PM
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So, shark wall, ocean view wall, dresser wall, door plus gigantic television wall, hydraulic bed. Perfect bedroom done.


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:00 PM
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Rank amateurism! What, I ask you, of the first-level dolphin enclosure?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:04 PM
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i've never had a bedroom large enough to accomodate a single king sized mattress, much less two.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:06 PM
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Ocean view wall, shark aquarium over the whole thing serving as opposite walls and ceiling, and dresser wall with door. If you need a gigantic television in the same room, you should be fed to the sharks.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:06 PM
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Obviously the bed rotates once you've raised it up on the hydraulics. Now let's talk thread counts, 1000 plus or nothing. Pillows -- no more than two per side, one hard (gel-filled) that can be used for reading and discarded, another softer. The rotating bed can also be adjusted to make it ergonomic, and you better fucking leave that Sealy spring bullshit at home because this is a goddamn custom Vividus.


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:10 PM
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"This is the ultimate perfection. The result of our centuries-long passion for craftsmanship and passion for expert bed making. Nobody in the history of mankind had ever before slept in a bed like the Hästens Vividus. Are you one of the privileged who ever will?"


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:20 PM
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$64,950 seems like a failure of imagination. At that point, why not just charge $350,000?


Posted by: Stranded in Lubbock | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:23 PM
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I do like that each comes with a brass plate engraved with its owner's name.


Posted by: Stranded in Lubbock | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:25 PM
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The ruling class should be fed to TRO's sharks.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:37 PM
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If I could wish anything into my house, it would be a pool big enough to do furious, stress-relieving laps in, any time of the day or night.


Posted by: calypso | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:42 PM
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They make pools that are the aquatic equivalent of a tread mill.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:49 PM
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Colorless cob huskers swim furiously


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 5:50 PM
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filled with layers upon layers of pure cotton, wool, mohair and hand-teased horsetail hair
How do you get into the career of horsetail hair teaser?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:10 PM
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Wigmaking? Industrial retraining after the carriage whip market collapses?


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:28 PM
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Once my sister and I were told about some "cheap" tickets to a Barbara Boxer fundraiser that we could actually afford, so we went, sort of on a lark. We drove to this part of the bay area we had never been to, feel increasingly odd and flabbergasted that it was real, walked up to this crazy amazing house--and were greeted by a crowd of extremely friendly, extremely enthusiastic, much older white people. Besides the campaign staff, we were the only people under fifty and darker than Barbara herself. You would have thought we were the guests of the honor, they were all so delighted to see us. The hostess decided to take us on a mini tour, and when we went to the library we both gasped, simultaneously. "Wow," I said. "It's real!" my sister said. "It's just like we always imagined." "Someone actually has one of these." Ceiling to floor, wall to wall bookcases, a magnificent wood and iron ladder on a rail all around, a skylight, a giant double desk in the middle, and big comfy chairs tucked in each corner. I sorta remember meeting and talking to the Senator, but the library is burned into my head.


Posted by: Saheli | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 6:47 PM
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We have a dressing room but just have two small dressers and two cheap hanging racks in there.

The old house had only a whirlpool tub and early in our relationship Lee made a point of running a hot bath for me and lighting candles and pouring a glass of wine and then once I was situated and comfortable turning on the jets, at which point it became clear she hadn't cleaned them since washing the dog in the bath earlier that week. And when I tried to wash off all the dirt and dog hair, I found that she'd used all the hot water on the initial bath, so I had a quick, freezing sponge bath and then got out of there, laughing hysterically. Eventually we renovated and put in a tub/shower combo and not having to hang my head under the bath faucet to wash my hair was so great.

I love this house and hope I get to live here forever. It would be great to have a small third bathroom on the third floor so the three rooms there could more easily be bedrooms. I'd like to reopen the back staircase from the kitchen to the upstairs hall, which the previous owners turned into two closets by putting in a plywood floor. Um, the basement is pretty hideous and maybe I could fold and store laundry there if it weren't.... I also want Lee to agree to let me make all three girls share a room and make the big middle room that has a door that opens to ours a playroom where they keep their clothes, but she's not sold on it. Lots of updating and little projects, but nothing too exciting.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:15 PM
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Chateau ... chat eau ... how have I never thought of that before?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:55 PM
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Back stairs are the greatest. Now that I think about it, I wish we had back stairs.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:57 PM
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147: I get invitations to hang out with one of the county commissioners pretty often. I should probably take him up on it one of these days.

Relatedly, through the magic of Facebook and Google investigations, I've learned that the most influential left wing fundraiser couple in town regularly host little charity things at their apartment that have no minimum donation. Probably get a bunch better stories there than hanging around with loser anarchists.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 7:59 PM
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Our back staircase is a little scary -- the previous owner apparently fell down it once and really messed himself up. But it is very convenient to have two ways up and down.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:01 PM
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My stepfather's house when he met my mother had both back stairs and a library. After they sold the house, the first thing the new owner did was rip out the library.

I've never forgiven him.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 8:41 PM
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After my grandmother's beautiful mid century ranch style palace in north Dallas sold, the first thing the new owners did was tear it down to build some monstrosity on the lot.

I have never forgiven the universe.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04- 3-15 9:42 PM
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The fabulous old house where I lived as a kid is once again operating as an inn. The decor is crap, but at least the place is being taken care of.

My mom's place in VT is for sale. I hate to see it go, but hopefully someone will buy it who can be trusted to preserve it. Knecht, you mentioned you might be interested in a VT property?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 1:06 AM
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The Vividus page is great. Somewhere I read that the central question in advertising is "How do we get a naked woman into our ad?" The Vividus folks say, "Hey, amateurs, by putting a naked woman in it."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 1:23 AM
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My dream house is one that has toilets that don't clog every time my kids take a crap. And these aren't old toilets- one is a pressure-assist that's maybe 12 years old, the other a more modern one that's 8 years old (maybe that's the problem, it's a water-efficient one.) Or maybe I just need to replace the kids.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 4:00 AM
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Knecht, you mentioned you might be interested in a VT property?

Yeah, but not in the fucking Northeast Kingdom. I'm talking about the part of Vermont with exquisitely composed salads and late model foreign cars with Thule racks and Massachusetts license plates. You know, the *real* Vermont.


Posted by: Knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 4:18 AM
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Knecht, you mentioned you might be interested in a VT property?

Yeah, but not in the fucking Northeast Kingdom. I'm talking about the part of Vermont with exquisitely composed salads and late model foreign cars with Thule racks and Massachusetts license plates. You know, the *real* Vermont.


Posted by: Knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 4:18 AM
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157: our toilets do the same thing, although they're really old, so it's easier to blame the toilets. Anyway, the foolproof solution is to teach you kids to poop, flush the poop, then wipe and flush the toilet paper. Yes, this means two flushes. Find some other way to conserve a few gallons of water as an offset. Believe me, it's worth it not to be constantly plunging the toilet.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 5:11 AM
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157: guess what, kids: it's prune month!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 5:11 AM
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You might also check the pipes. And, I don't know what your sewer ever did to you, but you should rod it.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 5:48 AM
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You might also check the pipes.

Geez, ogged, you could just call it "take the kids to the doctor".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 5:49 AM
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Can't they just shit at school?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 6:17 AM
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One virtue of being up early (in this time zone) this morning: impressive lunar eclipse!


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 6:20 AM
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Downside: nowhere to sit in the airport because of all the assholes stretched out asleep over four seats.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 6:21 AM
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You don't just wake them up?


Posted by: dk | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 6:30 AM
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"It's morning in America!"


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 7:08 AM
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Damn that Vermont house is nice and reasonably priced. If you could just move it and its location 3000 miles to the Southwest I'd be into it.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 8:15 AM
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Maybe I should give up on the law and start a business smuggling maple syrup from Quebec into the United States.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 8:16 AM
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That house in VT looks incredible but also appears to be so far in the middle of nowhere that starvation in the winter would be a legitimate concern.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 8:40 AM
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Just make sure you have a few sacks of rice and thiamine supplements.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 8:48 AM
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You just kill a moose, smoke its meat in the barn to have preserved moose meat, and eat that all winter. How hard can that be.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 8:49 AM
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Back stairs are the greatest.

So true. When I was a kid, I could antagonize my (older) brother to the point where he'd chase me, but he'd never catch me because I was always faster than he was and I could just run on a continuous loop: up the front stairs, down the back stairs; repeat.

What I'm saying is, I was a terrible person, even as a child.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 9:11 AM
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Right. The forest is your pantry.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 9:12 AM
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I could just run on a continuous loop: up the front stairs, down the back stairs; repeat.

So you're saying it was Tom and Jerry or Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 9:31 AM
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If you buy a vacation home in Vermont, it's probably time to admit that you've given up on life.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 10:49 AM
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What the hell is wrong with Vermont?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 11:00 AM
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Maple syrup.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 11:12 AM
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What the hell is wrong with maple syrup?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 11:13 AM
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Tree blood is great.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 11:17 AM
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Have you seen that selling unprocessed maple sap is a thing now? If people are actually buying it, that's pure marketing genius—roughly 24 times the revenue without the processing cost.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 11:46 AM
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182: WaPo had an article about that. Something about trying to replace coconut water? Clever move.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 12:41 PM
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183: Funny, the numbers in the last paragraph are exactly the ones I used for my back-of-the-envelope calculation ($40/gal for syrup is on the low end IME, but that's what the price was when I was back there last year). Also, Americans enjoy eating crap.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 12:52 PM
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Speaking if overpriced liquids, that paleo joint in North Berkeley around the corner from The Cheeseboard sells camel's milk. The entire place reeked of over roasted bones and scorched tallow when I was in there, so I now associate camel's milk with this hideous stench. But the garden in the back looked pleasant! After the next crash it will make a nice beer garden.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 2:16 PM
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afterthought: my dream house is Grey Gardens.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04- 4-15 11:27 PM
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Look, if the trees can't protect their sap without liberal government interference, they don't deserve to keep it.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 04- 5-15 8:40 AM
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||
Can I just say how exciting it is, what a delicious champagne cocktail of Schadenfreude it is, that the Wildcats lost at whatever that sport is?
|>


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04- 5-15 8:50 AM
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189

186 with or without the raccoons in the walls?


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 04- 5-15 9:11 AM
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190

186 with or without the raccoons in the walls?


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 04- 5-15 9:11 AM
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188: Only if Duke doesn't win the whole thing.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 5-15 9:19 AM
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188: AT LAST! I'm also excited about one of their players dropping both F and N bombs in describing a (white) opponent after the situational racism of calling other teams "thugs" has been so huge this year. But this is all also on top of not caring and it was only important because I had to wait for Lee to get home after watching the game so I could zip to the store to have what I needed for baskets.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04- 5-15 9:19 AM
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Actually, I don't actively dislike Duke.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 5-15 9:29 AM
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Turkish-Property-World.com is a single source of free information about Turkey, the regions the Turkey property market, legal issues and helpful advice on the best way to secure your dream home. Find holiday villas and luxury apartments, real estate investment properties for sale in Belek Side Alanya Antalya Kemer Kas Kalkan Fethiye the world famous turkish riviera. http://www.turkish-property-world.com


Posted by: turkey | Link to this comment | 10-19-15 1:36 AM
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