Re: Education

1

I couldn't help but picture the guy giving the sex ed talk as Chris Farley in his "van by the river" mode.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 5:37 AM
horizontal rule
2

I wouldn't admit to being a "sex researcher" in a Republican-controlled state (she's in MI, right?) There goes your funding.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 5:47 AM
horizontal rule
3

Class was in East Lansing, apparently. She's on the faculty at Northwestern's med school, though.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 5:51 AM
horizontal rule
4

I thought I'd be the only one who found Dreger to be a bit problematic, but there's unexpected support for this view in comments at Daily Nous. Probably a combination of the infamous philosopher friendship deterrence system and academics' fear of being put online surreptitiously.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 5:51 AM
horizontal rule
5

Apparently she's hated in the trans community for supporting a view of trans people that they reject. Also, she's pretty obviously a bomb thrower. But I'm not going to sign on to your bias for activists who are lovable models of Olympian restraint and good taste.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 5:57 AM
horizontal rule
6

The republican congress just voted for an additional $75 million for abstinence-only sex ed in 2016 and 2017. These people love their abortions, is the message I'm taking from this.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:00 AM
horizontal rule
7

Maybe they just love sexual frustration.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:02 AM
horizontal rule
8

Aha! I assumed she was in Evanston and that was particularly mind-blowing to me. OK. Who the heck knows what they get up to in MI.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:10 AM
horizontal rule
9

Also, the "It's classist to make fun of abstinence instructors" angle at the Daily Nous is silly.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:14 AM
horizontal rule
10

I think the real problem here is she has too long of a commute.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:16 AM
horizontal rule
11

Maybe she takes a vaporetto across the lake.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:18 AM
horizontal rule
12

Transporting a vaporetto across states lines is just the kind of crime a good, abstinent woman wouldn't commit.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:24 AM
horizontal rule
13

5: ogged, where did you learn about her lack of popularity among the members of the teams community.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:28 AM
horizontal rule
14

Best typo of the week.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:29 AM
horizontal rule
15

||For TRO, the outlook for petroleum engineers may not be as rosy as you hope.

These days, a very large number of people are already studying in petroleum engineering programs (see attachment, showing data made available through the Society of Petroleum Engineers, SPE), at a time when: the number of recent graduates, who began their studies several years ago, is already at about historical highs and growing rapidly (see attachment); our program's board of industry advisors are recommending that we "do not grow" our undergraduate program at this time; and oil and natural gas price projections and expectations of U.S. governmental policy influences are viewed as not particularly encouraging by the U.S. petroleum industry.
|>


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:31 AM
horizontal rule
16

Stupid iphone. Should be "trans," but Miby is right about it being a good typo.

The phone also tried to change "trans" to "trams". Maybe a tram would help with her commute.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:31 AM
horizontal rule
17

14 to 16.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:34 AM
horizontal rule
18

16: Miby! BG did that on purpose!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:37 AM
horizontal rule
19

Could work, but I think it needs a middle name.


Posted by: Miby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:40 AM
horizontal rule
20

Something heavy metal sounding.


Posted by: Miby "Lars" Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:40 AM
horizontal rule
21

Or, use my own taste in music.


Posted by: Miby "Yanni" Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:49 AM
horizontal rule
22

Maybe?


Posted by: Miby "Master of the Pan Flute" Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 6:57 AM
horizontal rule
23

Miby Fünke-Hick


Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:03 AM
horizontal rule
24

I remember my parents being genuinely surprised that we didn't have more sex education than we did. I think the subject had been so much in the news in the 60s that they'd assumed there'd be some substance to it. Columbus is or was very similar to East Lansing culturally.

In fact, we got very little that was not abstract—diagrams of reproductive organs—or comically out of date, like pictures of socializing teenagers in the styles of the 40s. The teachers were gym teachers and coaches, notorious bullies with very little use for someone like me. In my school a large, strong, coordinated boy was invariably a varsity athlete of some kind, even the proto-hippies and potheads. I was anomalous in that way, an object of suspicion; the teachers and I held each other in mutual contempt.

Had they been forced to address sex education, I'm sure they'd have gravitated to abstinence-only après la lettre. In this case, nothing is better than something.


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:11 AM
horizontal rule
25

Good thing I already have such low expectations for sex ed.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:15 AM
horizontal rule
26

Yeah, really, isn't this a subject pretty much all of us expect to homeschool? Like history and civics -- the school is going to tell them stuff, and you're going to tell them that the school version isn't sufficiently nuanced.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:23 AM
horizontal rule
27

"Like your teacher said, littering is bad. But sometimes you just can't have that many beer cans in your car and there's not a recycling container near."


Posted by: Miby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:28 AM
horizontal rule
28

My kids haven't gotten much -- there was one day of HIV prevention/avoidance in ninth grade, and there's a gym teacher who is either tasked by the school or self-appointed as the guy who hands out condoms randomly to the older students.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:31 AM
horizontal rule
29

The sex ed I had, as I recall: 1) one year my parents pulled me out of it, because I wasn't allowed to know that sex existed and I think my parents were worried everyone was putting condoms on bananas 2) the next year, we learned nothing about birth control but everything you'd want to know about diseases of the reproductive system 3) same as previous year, with a younger health teacher spending one day talking about the difference between sex and love.

Actually acknowledging that there are condoms would have been a step up.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:31 AM
horizontal rule
30

I keep on thinking that I should do the condom/banana thing at home at some point. I mean, it is a manual skill that one ideally shouldn't be figuring out on the fly. OTOH, I am easily embarrassed, and haven't interacted with a condom myself personally since... 1995.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:33 AM
horizontal rule
31

Randomly? That seems like an idea that could go wrong.


Posted by: Miby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:34 AM
horizontal rule
32

I think the only sex ed class I had was in Israel in 8th grade. My Hebrew wasn't that great, so I wasn't sure how much I understood. My parents never talked to me about it at all. I guess it's no wonder that sex has always been such a mystery for me.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:38 AM
horizontal rule
33

isn't this a subject pretty much all of us expect to homeschool?

It is, which is classist in a way, but I don't know what to do about it. "Correctives" not only improve vital factual knowledge but also teach your kids skepticism and critical thinking.

And our kids get that, from an early age and other kids don't.


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:41 AM
horizontal rule
34

31: It doesn't sound well-thought out, but it also sounds fairly harmless (contingent, of course, that I think the population of parents of children in the school who would be offended by an idiot gym teacher handing their child condoms is pretty small.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:41 AM
horizontal rule
35

I mentioned this elsewhere, but my high school's sex ed teacher was something else. Lots of talk about the importance of foreplay and how girls have as much right to expect orgasms as boys. (She apparently retired in the mid-90s after a parent complained. The first complaint ever!)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:42 AM
horizontal rule
36

1) one year my parents pulled me out of it

If only they'd let you attend, you could have learned about the downsides of that method.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:43 AM
horizontal rule
37

34: I guess I'm a bit concerned about a teacher deciding which of the students looked like they might need a condom soon.


Posted by: Miby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:44 AM
horizontal rule
38

31: You'd prefer he pick and choose. "Sorry, Timmy, we all know it would only go to waste."


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:45 AM
horizontal rule
39

Peep, hate to break it to you but sex can cause pregnancy.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:46 AM
horizontal rule
40

We had sex ed in 5th grade, focusing on body parts and mechanics, and then again in Life Management Skills in high school, which IIRC was a reasonable public school version of sex ed - condoms on bananas, lots of factual information, a bit of "you should be in a caring relationship" but not necessarily married. Later, in AP/IB biology, we got to watch footage from tiny cameras inside the vagina during sex, splooge and all. Also the heat-detecting camera version of sex. All still super hilarious to me, twenty years later.

Of course, the real sex ed was UU, but that's been discussed here endlessly aitihmhbhmbhf


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:52 AM
horizontal rule
41

My sex ed class was great, a full trimester taught by a woman science teacher in an all boys school to a bunch of seventh graders, which has to be the most thankless job ever. But she did a really good job of being both factual and positive about sex and spending a lot of time on consent/rape type issues that us idiots needed to hear. Also she would tell semi-explicit personal anecdotes, especially awesome because she was the wife of the fat guy from the Poloce Academy movies.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:52 AM
horizontal rule
42

condoms on bananas

They should do that with zucchini or really large cucumber. Kids today have too much ego and need to be taken down a peg.


Posted by: Miby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:55 AM
horizontal rule
43

Hmm, there must have been a 7th grade version as well, because I just recalled a vivid memory of that science teacher saying that sex and breastfeeding are the two most intimate things you can do with another person.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:56 AM
horizontal rule
44

Also she would tell semi-explicit personal anecdotes, especially awesome because she was the wife of the fat guy from the Poloce Academy movies.

That made me think she was going to do in-class demos like in that Monty Python skit.

Also, thanks for 39 -- cleared some things up for me.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:57 AM
horizontal rule
45

Mine was taught by gym teachers, and was totally sexist. Boys and girls were divided, and I have no idea what the girls learned, but while us boys learned some simple mechanics, and covered STDs in horrifying detail, a huge amount of it was just about how boys use relationships to get sex, and girls use sex to get relationships, and the potential emotional consequences of that, etc. I remember that part of that general conversation was a heavy emphasis on the "risk" that anytime a boy has sex with a girl, he will have her wanting a serious relationship and if that's not what he wants, that may upset her and then in her sorrow/anger she may claim that the sex was rape.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 7:59 AM
horizontal rule
46

Oh yeah, we also had lots of emphasis on foreplay in the 7th grade/fat guy from Police Academy class. And a weirdly super explicit textbook that was clearly some kind of 70s sex educator relic whose motto was basically "if it feels good, do it." I remember one thing it claimed was that teenage boys love to masturbate together in groups and that most do so, which I had a WTF reaction to at the time and since.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:01 AM
horizontal rule
47

I met a guy whose high school sex ed was done by the football coach and who advised putting $10 in savings every time you masturbated on the grounds that savings was important and $10 was still far cheaper than dating.


Posted by: Miby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:01 AM
horizontal rule
48

There was a gender-split thing in middle school once, where the girls all got put in an auditorium to listen about fashion. I specifically remember being told about the LBD, and how every woman needs one. (That's the Little Black Dress, just so's you know. Indispensable and practical.) I think the premise was how to dress appropriately at work, with a bit of "and then you go from day to night like THIS!"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:05 AM
horizontal rule
49

Huh, reading other people's versions makes me feel like my experience was an outlier in a good way. The public schools I attended had sex ed for some part of the year (maybe a quarter, maybe a semester) every year from fifth grade until ninth grade. Fifth grade was body parts and mechanics. Sixth grade was diseases, which was unfortunately taught by an evangelical teacher, but he did emphasize that condoms were good, if not foolproof, protection. Seventh and eighth grade were "your changing body" type stuff, along with some consent and lots of birth control information, plus a review of STIs. (Although no demos of condoms/barriers. I'd never seen a condom until I was old enough to buy them.) I think ninth grade was just birth control and diseases, but I don't remember. I remember abstinence being recommended, but there was mostly just lots of information.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:06 AM
horizontal rule
50

47: $10 in savings every time I masturbated?! I would be rich!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:08 AM
horizontal rule
51

49 sounds like what we had, except I was at a Catholic school.


Posted by: Miby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:09 AM
horizontal rule
52

49: Yeah, we had some iteration of sex ed from 5th grade (periods, pubic hair, sperms) through high school (foreplay, consent). In junior high I remember watching a film of a Swedish lady giving birth. The best part was the teacher ran the film backwards at the end.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:09 AM
horizontal rule
53

My seventh grade sex ed class (taught by the science teacher, co-ed, generally good) had a lot of "your changing bodies" stuff, including, memorably, that we should expect to start to smell differently and more prominently and so "no more wearing your favorite pair of underwear every day, girls!"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:10 AM
horizontal rule
54

51: My friends who went to area Catholic schools were shocked that we got such detailed information. They said their unit consisted of a nun and a single word: DON'T.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:11 AM
horizontal rule
55

Male privilege on that one.


Posted by: Miby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:11 AM
horizontal rule
56

I didn't really have any at school. We had some body part types stuff. But at our school, the health education classes were one of the ones that kids doing a lot of exam subjects would skip, in order to get more time.

So along with about 25% of our school year, I had very minimal sex education.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:11 AM
horizontal rule
57

"Honestly, with this many exams to study for, you kids aren't going to need to know anything about sex."

It's an educational philosophy, I guess.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:13 AM
horizontal rule
58

This was also the height of the AIDS epidemic, so we had lots of school-wide information about condom use and AIDS. I distinctly remember a school assembly where we watched an educational movie in which Rae Dawn Chong said "it's hot and dry up there," referring to anal sex. Can this really have happened?


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:14 AM
horizontal rule
59

55 to not needing to change your underwear.


Posted by: Miby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:14 AM
horizontal rule
60

58: No, it could not have happened. You have a disturbing and yet amusing fantasy life, TRO!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:15 AM
horizontal rule
61

My kids got the better version, more-or-less. I'm sure it existed some places even in the 60s, hence my parents' expectations, and gym teacher embarrassments persist many other places even now. Worsened by conscious ideology. But UMC parents mostly minimize harm, so that the kids turn the experience into funny anecdotes.


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:16 AM
horizontal rule
62

58: I remember the Rae Dawn Chong movie. "AIDS is hard to get!!!"


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:16 AM
horizontal rule
63

I legit can't remember much about our sex ed. Body parts, yes, with the immortal use of Mr. Donahue palming two basketballs as a visual aide representing the female reproductive system (basketballs-ovaries, his arms-fallopian tubes and so on). I remember a teacher passing around a basket of things in which we were supposed to identify which object was not a form of contraception (it was the lube. KY is not a contraceptive.) And some videos about diseases. But I don't recall any discussion of relationships/foreplay/anything that a student in the classroom might be expected to do with the information we were getting.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:17 AM
horizontal rule
64

-e


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:18 AM
horizontal rule
65

It's drier and tighter in there.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:19 AM
horizontal rule
66

I went to high school right at the peak of condoms-(in packages)-as fashion. Kids wore them pinned to their shoes, to their backpacks, and so on. Let's talk about sex, baby!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:20 AM
horizontal rule
67

62 -- hah! Googling reveals that the Rae Dawn Chong movie is on YouTube. "Sex, Drugs and AIDS (1986)". It's 18 minutes so I havent had time to watch the whole thing and find out if the "hot and dry" line is really in there.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:21 AM
horizontal rule
68

49: Mine was similar. 5th and 6th videos and risks, certainly no positive explanation for why you'd take on those risks.

In 8th grade, 1/4 of our year was a HomeEc rotation; I don't remember a day of sex-ed, but it'd have made sense there.

Senior year of high school we had a life skills class, where we did spend a full class period on sex, with disease acknowledged but not the center of the discussion. It wasn't bad, but felt "too little, too late"... probably because, surely, everyone else was having sex. Right? Only losers like me were still single...


Posted by: Mooseking | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:22 AM
horizontal rule
69

Obviously pwnd by 65. Thanks! "Drier and tighter" instead of "hot and dry" says Rae Dawn.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:23 AM
horizontal rule
70

58: I remember the Rae Dawn Chong movie.

Now I'm pretending this line was delivered in Noah Baumbach's Highball.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:36 AM
horizontal rule
71

While we've got the sex and death threads going, I wish I could think of something to post about taxes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:37 AM
horizontal rule
72

71: http://www.foxbusiness.com/markets/2015/01/14/supreme-court-hears-arguments-over-ohio-jock-tax-on-out-town-athletes/


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:40 AM
horizontal rule
73

So the lesson is that (if I have a kid) I'll need to ask at the local UU church about enrolling my kid in their sex education curriculum.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:42 AM
horizontal rule
74

73: No, when the time comes, just do an "Ask the Mineshaft" and Unfogged will tell you exactly what to tell your kid.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:44 AM
horizontal rule
75

My 9th grade high school bio teacher (co-ed boarding school) did a bit of sex ed. In my all girls school in the 8th grade we read "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives" which was put out by the same group that wrote "Our Bodies Ourselves."

That was about menstruation and puberty as much, if not more, than sex and contraception. The one bit I'll never forget is the story of the boy who got an erection whenever his mother ran the vacuum cleaner.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:44 AM
horizontal rule
76

Why his mother? Was she wearing a French Maid outfit?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:46 AM
horizontal rule
77

I should try to look it up, but it was just that when he was in bed and he heard the vacuum cleaner, he got aroused.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:48 AM
horizontal rule
78

Are you all inventing memories? I'm sure we had sex ed, but I can't remember who taught it or what was taught. I should ask one of my seventeen children to research it for me.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:49 AM
horizontal rule
79

Okay here's the quote from google books

Whenever I hear a vacuum cleaner, I start getting hard. That must be because I used to love those days when I'd stay home from school, sick, and I'd be up in my room while my mother was vacuuming downstairs. That's a real good memory.

The kid's name was Tony, but I initially misread it just now as Troy.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:53 AM
horizontal rule
80

Wait, it's not because the kid gets himself off with the vacuum?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:55 AM
horizontal rule
81

What cod-Proustian bullshit is that?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:55 AM
horizontal rule
82

I went to high school right at the peak of condoms-(in packages)-as fashion. Kids wore them pinned to their shoes, to their backpacks, and so on. Let's talk about sex, baby!

Did we talk about the article about why we don't have better condoms? My takeaway from it was that while I'd figured out much later that a lot of the response to the AIDS crisis was alarmist, I didn't realize just how bad it was, and just how little actual science the various recommendations were based on. (Prompted specifically by the article's discussion of lambskin condoms.)


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 8:58 AM
horizontal rule
83

high school right at the peak of condoms-(in packages)-as fashion

Did people who weren't Black pop stars actually do this? I only remember it in TLC videos and maybe A Different World.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:00 AM
horizontal rule
84

I think I learned the word "spooge" here, which was a bit late for sex ed, but not too late for me to put it on various forms that I suspect might be harvested for marketing purposes. Sure enough , I have had mail addressed to me in my capacity as MD of "Spooging Moose Communications"

As for the other stuff I have an ineradicable but quite possibly entirely false memory of my parents telling me that sex was really pleasurable, however absurd the mechanics of it sounded. I mist have been around eight. In my memory they are terribly earnest about it, and concerned that I shold believe them. I couldn't see why I should.


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:01 AM
horizontal rule
85

83: Not the same, but there was a coffee shop in Berkeley that gave out condoms as branded favors, kind of like books of matches.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:02 AM
horizontal rule
86

83. Why are you asking Heebie? She's black and used to be pretty fabulous.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:05 AM
horizontal rule
87

82 is super interesting but jesus, that article is too long.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:10 AM
horizontal rule
88

Did people who weren't Black pop stars actually do this?

They sure did in my high school. But it was certainly mostly black kids and white kids who mostly hung out with black kids.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:12 AM
horizontal rule
89

I, like ogged, remember that I had sex ed, but not what its content was in any detail (pretty sure there was a movie showing spermatozoon to ram itself head-first into an egg, which stood me in good stead when, years later, I read "The Night-Sea Journey"), or even what school I was in when I had it. I think in the weird Jewish school that I was later kicked out of?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:14 AM
horizontal rule
90

I had a very practical and straightforward sex-ed experience in public school (mechanics, diseases, contraception), done as a month-long unit in Health/PE every year from 7th-10th grade.

I wonder if it's still like that or if the crazy abstinence people have gotten to the school board. (My high school is in crazy Tea-Party land—Eric Cantor's old district.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:22 AM
horizontal rule
91

The closest thing to packaged condoms that were a regular accessory to my fellow Catholic high school students' uniforms were Brown Scapulars. More of an insurance against Purgatory than STDs, though.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:24 AM
horizontal rule
92

The stats on condom use in that article suggest to me that lots of people have in fact never used condoms. Probably some people in this discussion.

I used them consistently in the one relationship I've been in where I felt responsibility for taking the lead and making the arrangements. A lot of shyness and reticence. Every other relationship has been frank and verbal, with a partner who took precautions and said so.


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:24 AM
horizontal rule
93

87 gets it exactly right.

We first had sex ed in 5th grade, when they split us up by gender and showed us film strips about the mechanics of things (the girls saw both the boy and girl strips, the boys only saw the boys).

I can't recall if we had it again in Jr. High (I think it was in 9th grade, which I didn't reach in that school system), but we had sort of a standard, disinterested class taught by a gym teacher or whatever in HS. Definitely not any of the crazy moralistic garbage you hear about, but also nothing really informative or sex-positive.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:25 AM
horizontal rule
94

weird Jewish school that I was later kicked out of

There's probably a story here and I'll bet you could tell it in the most anti-climactic way possible.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:30 AM
horizontal rule
95

If Viagra and Cialis got into a fight in the side-bar, who would win?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:32 AM
horizontal rule
96

teenage boys love to masturbate together in groups and that most do so, which I had a WTF reaction to at the time and since.

Poor TRO, left out by all the other boys.

Don't worry, Tim. At our age, it's just a once a month thing, mostly, so you're not really missing out anymore.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:36 AM
horizontal rule
97

Have I mentioned that one time BOGF and I borrowedused an unlubricated condom from her roommate? Her roommate's doctor father was the source, and our theory, after an extremely unpleasant and ultimately failed experience, was that this was the father's subtle method to discourage his daughter from sex.

Why do they even sell those things?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:38 AM
horizontal rule
98

There's probably a story here and I'll bet you could tell it in the most anti-climactic way possible.

:)


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 9:46 AM
horizontal rule
99

||NMM to Sabado Gigante|>


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:08 AM
horizontal rule
100

They make better balloons?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:20 AM
horizontal rule
101

If he told it climactically we would all get pregnant.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:21 AM
horizontal rule
102

With little electron babies!


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:21 AM
horizontal rule
103

At our age, it's just a once a month thing, mostly, so you're not really missing out anymore.

AKA, "Noodle Night"


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:26 AM
horizontal rule
104

Speaking of once a month things, along with condoms there seems to be no one very concerned about improving tampon technology.

Fortunately, I've gone through maybe half a box of tampons since 2008, and reasonably expect never to use one again.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:29 AM
horizontal rule
105

Pregnant straight up to menopause, huh.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:32 AM
horizontal rule
106

Yep. In about 8 more weeks.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:33 AM
horizontal rule
107

Conveniently this thread aligns with the 20th anniversary of losing my virginity.
Like all of you don't know the exact date too.


Posted by: Andrew Jackson | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:36 AM
horizontal rule
108

Like all of you don't know the exact date too.
I do not. Is that actually the norm?


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:40 AM
horizontal rule
109

I don't, either, but it should be right around the 20 year mark for me, too.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:41 AM
horizontal rule
110

I'm with Thorn and Heebie. Except for the twenty-year bit, which is well in the past.

(Are we going to discover that President Jackson and Heebie once shared a magical experience?)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:44 AM
horizontal rule
111

I do, but only because it's on an exceptionally easy to remember date.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:46 AM
horizontal rule
112

A David Blaine show?


Posted by: Miby Hick | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:47 AM
horizontal rule
113

Busy day yesterday, neb?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:47 AM
horizontal rule
114

I do not know the exact date. I don't even remember the time of year. I am pretty sure I could pin down the year.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:50 AM
horizontal rule
115

I know the month and year (by reference to my nearby-on-the-calendar birthday), but not the specific date.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:50 AM
horizontal rule
116

And I'm sorry if that sounded judgmental, Andrew Jackson; I really wouldn't have been surprised if it was something people generally remember and I just missed out. I do know time of year (quite possibly mid or late April!) and year.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:54 AM
horizontal rule
117

I generally remember dates of any significance with ease*, but within a few weeks of the blessedanticlimactic event, I'd lost track of which day of the week it had been, and thus the date (that is, it was either a Tuesday or a Wednesday). But it was right after Labor Day of '93.

*I hope you all enjoyed the birthday of L/ane V/gnola, the first girl I ever officially asked on a date and, not coincidentally, the first girl who ever wished to be just friends with me, last Saturday


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:57 AM
horizontal rule
118

Oh hey, I may have started my practice on the 12 anniversary. Never thought of that before.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:59 AM
horizontal rule
119

NMM to Sabado Gigante

My mother will be devastated. She loves that show.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 10:59 AM
horizontal rule
120

an exceptionally easy to remember date.

My first kiss was GHWB's inauguration, so that's always been an easy one.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:00 AM
horizontal rule
121

Here is an article on Dreger and the stuff she was previously noted for.

Also "virginity" lol. Still a horrible, horrible word.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:09 AM
horizontal rule
122

Mine was the same day as the season 2 finale of Buffy, so while I don't remember the exact date, I'm sure the internet could tell me.


Posted by: X.Trapnel | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:11 AM
horizontal rule
123

It was her father's birthday so maybe that's why it sticks in the mind.


Posted by: Andrew Jackson | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:15 AM
horizontal rule
124

I only remember mine because it was January 1st.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:17 AM
horizontal rule
125

Re: 107

No idea. Don't even know the month, or whether I was 16 or just 17. I know it was after my then girlfriend's early January exams, and before her birthday which was April. That is about as precise as I can get.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:18 AM
horizontal rule
126

123: A special present for him? Or perhaps presented an opportunity?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:18 AM
horizontal rule
127

I'm pretty sure it happened. Not sure if I was there.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:19 AM
horizontal rule
128

Mine was the day that Rutles mockumentary aired. Also the day of my first threesome (MFF). I was much younger than I remembered.


Posted by: Principal Snyder | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:21 AM
horizontal rule
129

128: You lost your virginity in a threesome! Awesome, dude! (am I using that young people slang correctly?)

Didn't that happen to the kid in Almost Famous?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:23 AM
horizontal rule
130

45: !!!

Did that school have a nutrition lesson, too?


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 11:51 AM
horizontal rule
131

||

I'm experiencing an odd cool feeling at the base of the brain. The opposite of "seeing red" due to frustration and anger. I think I just won an online argument for the first time.
|>


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 12:10 PM
horizontal rule
132

||

Relevant to a previous parenting thread:

Our house was on a hill, and the house below us liked us. So we'd throw all the lions over the fence, and we'd be in our pajamas, climbing over the fence to keep them quiet. Then Dad would go to animal control and say, "Nope, we don't have any lions."

|>


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 12:11 PM
horizontal rule
133

Another vote for general period and circumstances, but no date.

Reminiscences and counterfactuals, as we say here, never include calendars.


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 12:35 PM
horizontal rule
134

Cross-posting to the correct thread:

I can pin it down to a two-month period (April-May) in a particular year. I strongly suspect it was a Saturday. But I can't do any better than that. Oh, and that's only if "losing virginity" means intercourse. If oral sex counts, then it would have been some time in the prior summer or early fall.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 1:40 PM
horizontal rule
135

I remember the time of year well enough to know that we're just a few weeks past the 19th anniversary; with a bit of Googling I could almost certainly pin the exact date down. The memory of the circumstances is crystal clear, though.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 1:41 PM
horizontal rule
136

I can't actually remember the first time I had *enjoyable* sex. Tedious painful freshman try, and two years later climbing the walls and annoying the neighbors and motorcycle rides with ferrets, but I don't remember the transition although I was otherwise straight and sober.

Also, thinking back, it's possible that about half the really hard learning I've ever done was in the sophomore year between.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 2:03 PM
horizontal rule
137

motorcycle rides with ferrets

The universal indicator of good sex.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 2:07 PM
horizontal rule
138

137: Darn! I knew I've been missing out!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 2:09 PM
horizontal rule
139

annoying the neighbors

That was definitely a component of my early sexual experience. Actually just one neighbor who would write us polite notes asking us to try to be quiet. We were such assholes this probably made us louder -- as if to chortle "Ha! Ha! We're having sex and you're not!"


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 2:14 PM
horizontal rule
140

During my senior year in high school, I dated my next-door neighbor. That was, uh, convenient.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 2:20 PM
horizontal rule
141

Man "Spirit Crusher" has such a great chorus.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 2:21 PM
horizontal rule
142

Wrong thread again, moran!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 2:23 PM
horizontal rule
143

I remember how old I was the first time I had sex, but not the month or season. The first time I had consensual sex was right around Valentine's Day, a year or so later, in Cambridge (MA). The first time I had genuinely great sex was about three years after that (when I stopped dating people who had never before had sex).


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 3:03 PM
horizontal rule
144

As far as Dreger goes, this is her take on some of the reaction to her trans* and intersex research and advocacy.


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 3:17 PM
horizontal rule
145

I don't recall the date, but if anyone knows the start date of my then-girlfriend's summer enrichment program, I'm pretty sure it was a terribly inappropriate number of days after that.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 3:49 PM
horizontal rule
146

We were on a break. But still.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04-17-15 3:51 PM
horizontal rule
147

when I stopped dating people who had never before had sex

Schools never teach the second half of the sex ed course: principles and techniques.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04-18-15 8:51 AM
horizontal rule
148

From the link in 82:

His idea is to take common agricultural waste products, like cow tendons and fish skins, break them down to pure collagen, blend them with plasticizers, and turn the resulting soup into film.

The marketing copy practically writes itself.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04-18-15 9:29 AM
horizontal rule