Don't know about the coffee but man I love those warmed blankets they have in pre- and post-op. Hope all goes super boringly, hg!
Best wishes. I don't know about the coffee either.
4: Nope. I had the fleeting thought that it would be funny to get the breasts stuffed and mounted on a plaque, but they slice that stuff up. I could make a flip book.
Hysterectomy first and then the mastectomy?
Also, which gene do you have that makes it so important to get the hysterectomy? I've heard of it for breast cancer only. (I think that my high school roommate was planning on getting her ovaries out, because her family had such highly heritable ovarian cancer, but there was no gene identified back then.)
9: BRCA1. Lifetime breast cancer risk is ~80% for me, IIRC, ovarian cancer risk maybe ~50%, although I've heard a wide range of numbers for both. Ovarian being very hard to detect, though. There's not much in the way of screening.
Good luck, HG! The Missus is a satisfied customer of that operation.
Good luck Heebie! Make sure you get the good drugs.
I hope it goes smoothly. Definitely no coffee in your uterus, ok?
Good luck with the surgery, Heebie.
After all your remarks about how much harder it is to lose weight these days I feel like this is cheating.
But really, on the coffee? If I drink it black, how long does liquid really stick around in your stomach?
The American Society of Anaesthesiologists says coffee's fine. YAY.
Good luck! The issue with coffee or water in the morning is that you may puke it up during anasthesia. I asked the same question before major surgery. One nurse suggested swallowing a no doze with minimal water. Can't hurt to ask(Could hurt to do it without asking, though).
You won't be all YAY when you're awake through the whole damn operation and they won't even let you get up and get a glass of water so you can start over with falling asleep.
21: read the link I posted. I'm feeling like a maverick.
There's no way I'd ask permission though. Either drink the coffee and lie, or don't drink the coffee and tell the truth.
22: why would I be awake? Surely caffeine can't overpower actual drugs. I doze off on caffeine all the time. I just don't want a headache.
Actual drugs can probably help with the headache issue too.
28: Just a joke, Heebs. Maybe see if they can insert a sense of humor while you're cut open. Sheesh.
Oh, and, uh, good luck.
"We secretly replaced this humorless feminist's uterus with a sense of humor. Let's see if she notices!"
Ugh, I hate those stupid anesthesia rules. Nothing after midnight, whether your surgery is first thing in the morning or (as I learned when I had the most ignominious of all surgeries, a bunionectomy) at four thirty in the afternoon. By the time they were ready to operate, I was so dehydrated they couldn't even find my veins. Definitely drink some coffee.
Whoa, best of luck. I don't think I'd ever realized the risks were that high.
When is the surgery? Black coffee (from googling) seems to count as a clear liquid (good heuristic, guys) so I would suppose you could drink it up til when they said you had to lay off the water.
It's like I never linked to that in 20. Surgery is at 10 am. Plenty of time for a 2 hour buffer.
Hope everything goes smoothly. If not, the stand-your-ground law is on your side!
That doesn't even make sense. I still am with uterus.
And yet you also seem to be with sense of humor. A paradox!
T-shirt idea: "I'm with uterus" with arrow pointing down.
"No sense of humor" with arrow.
I could make a flip book.
Or a pop-up. Good luck, heebs.
6: yes.. My brother's bone tumor was sectioned out for teaching slides and they didn't save him one slice!
More seriously and belatedly, good luck. May all your orderlies be good-looking.
We'll all be praying for you, but ironically.
All best, heebs. I've done just fine without a uterus for some time now, so I'm sure you will too.
Ugh, I hate those stupid anesthesia rules. Nothing after midnight
Pretty sure that's gremlins.
Don't ask the nurse in the recovery room for a date. I did that last time I was under general anaesthetic and I still feel a bit embarrassed about it.
I've still got time to wish you all the best, right? You'll be reading this with your coffee. Hope all is nothing but routine.
My brother's bone tumor was sectioned out for teaching slides and they didn't save him one slice!
Apart from anything else, what a fantastic drinks coaster it would have been.
Best of luck. Hope you don't feel too rough afterwards.
What 1 said. May it be super boring and uneventful.
Although I guess the actual surgery counts as an event.
44: It's probably already given up.
Good luck. Hope the recovery is fast and easy.
Good luck, Heebs! Be sure to post something while you are still woozy as fuck from the anesthesia.
You probably won't see this until afterwards, so I hope it went well!
Go Heebie! Go doctors! Go science!
Hope all went smoothly. My mother had a hysterectomy + one ovary removed in her 40s and didn't have much trouble from it afterwards.
They can't put in an IV without a little bit of boring.
IV'd up.
I always knew you'd make it to the IV league someday.
"Would you please blog while I'm operating?"
Thinking good thoughts for a swift, accurate, painless and straightforward surgery!
Reading the debate on coffee, I'm reminded of Btock (?) grouching about the varying pre-colonoscopy instructions. National standardization...never? The US healthcare system is not very big on it, it's true.
If you have a coffee enema before a colonoscopy, I bet it makes it harder to see the polyps.
Good luck! Your uterus has been through enough! It is very kind of you to let it retire. You can tell your kids it went to live on a farm.
There's a womb service joke in here somewhere right?
Best thoughts and steady hands for the surgeon.
Best of luck, heebie!
Meanwhile, in less important news that also happens to be about the topic of Tuesday, I completely forgot that today was my wedding anniversary. First time that's happened.* I had been cognizant of it a month or so ago, but it just slipped my mind in the intervening weeks. We don't usually do much in the way of gifts, but my wife seemed disappointed not to at least have a card. Should I get her one on the way home from work today? I'm not sure. I sort of feel like that horse has left the stable. I could maybe buy her an actual gift of some sort as recompense, except I don't have any idea what she might want.
* (Okay, yes, I have a nagging worry that I left a comment almost identical to this on the blog on this day last year, but I'm pretty sure that's just paranoia. I hope.)
You should get her this backpacking quilt. It's a bargain and very warm.
We are holding you and your uterus in the light.
We are holding you and your uterus in the light.
...so the surgical team can see what they're doing.
Bring home an extravagantly beautiful bouquet and, depending on her preferences, a bottle of gorgeous champagne or the nicest chocolates you can afford.
She means Reese's cups, none of the Mounds bullshit or a Baby Ruth or something.
A platter bearing the head of someone she despises? (Actually this should be worth several years of anniversaries.)
Oh, my, I hope all went well and your recovery is speedy. Thinking of you!
Belated good luck, Heebie, and still-timely best wishes for your recovery.
93: Each year another body part of a person she despises. You could be covered for pretty much the rest of your married life.
Good luck, heebie. Hope all is going well.
She's got to be under by now. We can start gossiping about her.
Good luck Heebie!
84: Can you get her something little based on the year of your anniversary? For our first-year anniversary my husband bought me a paper vase and it's one of the best things he's ever bought me.
That's advanced gift giving and I suspect urple is at the beginner level. My suggestions are solidly in the intermediate level for gifts to intimates. It's a bit more advanced for non-intimates.
No one's suggesting he prepare her a special dinner?
Adv-intermediate, assumes facts not in evidence (can urple cook?) and high probability of resulting in more work for the giftee than no gift.
The doctors won't let you eat your uterus. That's a placenta people eat.
102: I sense that you have not RTFA.
The FA might not be perfectly clear to somebody who read it if they haven't been around for five years or so. Because secrecy or something.
104: you should now be sensing that I am completely flummoxed!
Chocolate and champagne are probably both good ideas.
That is, instead of [flowers AND (champagne OR chocolate)], I may just do (champagne AND chocolate). Admittedly partly because I know where to get those, and I'm not sure where I'd get nice flowers.
The parks sometimes have them this time of year. Or the front yards in the more suburban areas.
I'm worried that if I bring a present home after work, I'll be forced to admit that I forgot our anniversary. Whereas so far I've been able to pretend that I knew about it all along, I just didn't bother to say anything or get her a card or anything. I'm not sure which is worse.
It occurs to me that I've never given nor received an anniversary gift. We usually plan to get away together for a few days, and have plans of that kind for this year.
My wife is an imaginative and thoughtful gift-giver for other relationships, but between us there is a truce.
I sometimes realize that starting over with a conventional woman would be a complete nightmare.
I honestly don't understand how admitting you forgot an anniversary is worse than saying you remembered an anniversary but decided not to acknowledge it in the slightest way.
My parents never celebrated their anniversary. We found out recently, after my mom died, that there was some . . . complicatedness as to the date.
You mean the standard "baby born seven months into the marriage" or was there a time machine?
The answer's obvious: one of the parents was still operating off the Julian calendar.
I don't think I could forget our anniversary. If I see Giuliani on the TV, I have my warning.
Am I late to the uterus party? Good luck, Heebie! Hope everything went well!
I can't reliably remember the month, let alone the day! This hands an overwhelming advantage to the spouse, who has in years past done the whole 20 questions at the dinner table routine, but this year just woke me up in the middle of the night to say a jovial happy anniversary as of last week. Then we once again failed to remember reliably which year it was, so on a pretty even footing there.
I mean, if you somehow come out of and you're not funny any more we'll still love you. hey, I just absorbed your joke from the second sentence of the OP and regurgitated it less funny.
That's advanced gift giving and I suspect urple is at the beginner level. My suggestions are solidly in the intermediate level for gifts to intimates.
What's the difficultly level for "Dick in a Box"?
122: I'm so happy I got married on Labor Day since it means I can reliably remember the date.
Doesn't that move around every year?
Yes. To be more specific, I can remember that my anniversary date because it was during Labor Day weekend. It's not as easy as New Year's, but it's enough to jog my memory.
126/127: honestly "first Saturday in June" would be an easier to remember anniversary than "June 2", and it would be equally as valid as an "authentic" date of our anniversary, not to mention much more convenient, seeing as how a Saturday is an easier day to plan something special than, e.g., a Tuesday.
We've got "end of the Alaska salmon season", which is a movable feast.
Monday is taco night at the bar, so that might also work. I keep trying to sell them on alliteration (Taco Tuesday), but it hasn't taken.
"Michoacán Monday" rolls right off the tongue.
Yeah -- not even 7 months in. Naughty!
Bears only have a 7.5 month gestation period.
Our wedding anniversary is the password for a safe. Come to think of it, this might just be a case of putting all our eggs in one basket.
Also, good luck Heebie.
138: Aha! Now I just need to find someone that was at Cyrus's wedding.
I'm out. This hospital does everything incredibly slowly.
Is 140 by heebie or heebie's uterus? Why doesn't heebie's uterus have its own twitter account yet?
Pikers- we still do monthiversaries of when we started dating (now at 245), it's a contest every month who remembers which I maintain she is cheating at by waking up before me and texting- I say it has to be in person. Of course that requirement was not laid out at the start of the contest since texting was not common then.
Happy first 10minuteversary of being uterus free!
I guess the uterus has been out longer than 10 minutes if you're now awake though.
Huzzah! The uterbus has left the station.
I heard that if you coat them with lime juice, they stay green for way longer than ten minutes.
Yay, Heebie!
I also have a Labor Day anniversary.
Yaay, heebie! Remember surgery is an insult to the body, so be easy on yourself for a while yet. Ahem small children ahem.
Congratulations. Ex uterus unum
Yay, Heebie! Uterus and companions, farewell!
There are so many small children around here people are choking on them.
My anniversary is going to be June 13th. I should have gotten married last year so that it would be the 12th. I'm wondering if I should just skip a celebration every 7th year.
We started dating on Patriot's Day. I don't consider that a date so much as a movable feast similar to LizSpigot's 122. The holiday and the marathon were what made the day special.
Actually, speaking of weddings (sorry, neb!), does anyone know of a source of nice paper that would be a suitable bulletin cover (8.5x11")?
The Paper Source was helpful and competent and midrange when we were looking.
We also bought some DIY wedding supplies at The Paper Source. But we didn't have a bulletin cover, so I don't know if they would have anything suitable for that.
So long, uterus! Hope you recover quickly, heebie.
160: Exterior of the paper handout for a religious service.
BG, I'm just brimming over with wedding advice. Ask me anything.
Eg, put the old people far from the band, not right next to the band.
Vows at the ceremony I just attended were amazing. A whole lot more on the downside risks than is usual.
Looks like we're going to need a new t-shirt.
Vows at the ceremony I just attended were amazing. A whole lot more on the downside risks than is usual.
The ones from the ceremony I attended were very ... Christian, and much of the whatever-you-call-what-the-otherwise-nice-seeming-minister-says was sexist as fuck. Women need love; men need respect. Oh look, there's a book.
Otherwise lovely; and I like the couple.
Kid B's birthday is 13th June. Friday 13ths don't come round a nice neat every 7 years because of leap years. She was born on a Saturday and has had three Friday birthdays and will be 17 next week. But the good news is that I don't think there's another one for ten years!
Congrats on getting de-hysterified. You should save it and gestate more children in it in a jar. All the advantages of more kids without the downsides of pregnancies.
For wedding anniversaries, I highly recommend separating shortly after your first year of marriage, because then you don't have to worry about upsetting your spouse by doing nothing for your anniversary. ("What are you going to do, divorce me?")
Also late to the party - good luck heebie!
Vows at the ceremony I just attended were amazing. A whole lot more on the downside risks than is usual.
The service itself was going to be performed by the Dean, who had carefully made one up; there was no official civil marriage service in Ankh-Morpork, other than something approximating to "Oh, all right then, if you really must."
BG - can you have the church order bulletin covers for you? Otherwise look for a church supplies store or church bookstore (most big cities have at least one). Or order online.
I would include a link but really it would just be from googling; the ones I know are Canadian.
172: Usually, people just do it themselves. All the ones I saw from the links provided had super tacky pictures on them. I want to be able to print on them.
If you have a Canadian source that would be great. Our church has ones with the church name all over it on cheap paper.
166: Mine is super old school. I updated it to follow the current practice of requesting the woman's consent first, but some bits are lifted straight out of 1662. I took out the part about marriage being for the increase of mankind.
It turns out that I need 8.5 by 14 which is, I think, legal paper. I was at the Paper Source the other day, but the location I was at was not as good as the one I ordered my invitations from. I remember that DQ really liked some French papers.
172: The old "I have a church supply store in Canada" ruse?
This is basically the cover for the program for the wedding?
If you got French papers, the sizing would likely be different.
Is that what they mean by French Letter?
Has anyone here read any Ro/bin H/obb? Keep it google-proofed - I'm supposed to meet her daughter and supposed to read this sci-fi book before doing so...
Her work is of Shakespearean quality.
Are you meeting her on Tuesday? Because if not, that comment is off-topic.
179: yes, I've read a number of her books, though nothing in the past 5 years or so. I found them compelling but frustrating; she's big on main characters who're emotionally damaged in ways that make them unable to reach for the help they need, often stretched out over hundreds if not thousands of pages.
I actually haven't read any of the books she's published under her real name, though. Not sure if they share that characteristic.
180: Difficult, full of neologisms and paleologisms, suitable for permanently crushing the interest of highschoolers in 'serious' literature?
I've read several of them; my Dad is a big fan.
Her Fars/eer Tril/ogy (Assas/sin's Appr/entice) was pretty compelling. Dragonk/eeper (the start of another series) was okay but slow. Which book are you thinking of in specific?
The first book you mentioned - AA - is the one we're reading. Ok, glad to hear it! This may be the first sci-fi book I actually complete, then.
Speaking of speculative fiction with traumatized protagonists, I just finished Delagar's book, which was fantastic, in a relentlessly grim way.
It was knecht, proselytizing for some sexy French agenda. I was warning of the dangerous black hole of French papeterie seduction, just trying to save you people! Anyways, Frenchie paper wouldn't work for your purposes as they don't use barbarian inches.
Bless my stepdaughter's lovely gorgeous heart, wedding day minus appx 8 weeks she's lit out for 6 weeks of field work in a very remote location out of the US, so sensible. Practice 3 tiers of cake being done up this weekend, music written by the kid, her mum's nearly finished with her dress, all should be fine. Ahhh.
De-hysterification congratulations, heebs. That must me a load off your, um, pelvic area or something. I think you should host a poetic parody contest here in comments on the subject of your uterus, with the organ itself going to the winner.
I speak from the position of the irredeemably damned, sad sorrow and all that mon cher knecht!
Ro/bin Ho/bb's books about trading vessels carved out of estivating dragons on a mutagenic river are good but sloooooow. Going up a shallow shifting unmapped tropical river would be slow, and she uses that in other ways.
I love Robin H/obb. And dude, Clew ..... that is sort of a major spoiler for the early books in the Live/ship Traders series. (I mean, I know there are loads of clues, but it's fun to put it all together for yourself.)
I found them compelling but frustrating; she's big on main characters who're emotionally damaged in ways that make them unable to reach for the help they need, often stretched out over hundreds if not thousands of pages.
This is very, very true, though, despite my love. She enjoys having her characters suffer, occasionally in stupid ways. (But --- realistically stupid ways.)
AA is really fun, and I think a fairly quick read. It's more straight-forward than some of her other series.
Glad to 'see' you, HG!
Hey can someone googleproof 194?
hg, assuming all went well, yay! Take it easy!
She's a friend of one of the book club members and coming to visit. Also she's the author's publicist.
I've bought Italian paper that was made for the US market and sold in inch-based sizes.
Ah well if you're willing to accept export quality...
I loved Steve Van Zandt story about working very hard to convince AZANLA not to put out a hit on Paul Simon. Maybe they should have talked to Art!
Wrong thread, sorry. Imagine some sort of comment about Italian paper here.
Hope you're still doing well heebie.
202: it's interesting that one has both "Paul Simon is a monster for opposing what was clearly the morally right cause" and "...and the other supporters of that cause had to be talked out of murdering him in revenge".
Wrong thread, yo. But in any case, the fact that a cause is good doesn't mean that all the tactics used by people working in support of that cause are also good.
In recompense for my distinctly unhelpful humor, bostonienne, were I in your shoes I would go straight to the most Ali Babaesque emporium of art supplies near you and spend time feeling up what should be an impressive array of handmade and/or "art" papers. Here in SF that would be Flax, they have a whole cavernous room of yummy paper. You can then cut them to the size you need! Besides the feeling up bit will be fun.
195.1: oops, sorry. Don't the covers give it away? If you get them all at once?
Heebie! I hope you're recovering nicely.
I am, thank you! Largely back to normal, in fact.
I haven't even returned to normal after a bad Achilles tendon. I'm afraid that without NSAIDs, I would turn into a historian.
Here in SF that would be Flax, they have a whole cavernous room of yummy paper.
Incidentally, I am related to the Flaxs of Flax art supply (through my paternal grandmother), so it's nice to hear good things about them.
You are SF royalty! We adore Flax! When they were both about 7 we took our son and a "country cousin" there and cousin had his MIND BLOWN. His parents heard about nothing else for weeks afterwards!
