Re: Decadence

1

Something inside me is tempted to order that thing. I can only assume it's that same bit that goes "hey you could jump off this!" when I stand next to a ledge or cliff.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:02 PM
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So are you supposed to break off the hot dog before dipping, as shown in the photos? Leaving a pizza with no outer crust to hold onto, requiring one use knife and fork, like a caveman?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:05 PM
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You're supposed to faceplant into the center, like a caveman who is winning a pie-eating contest.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:05 PM
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4

This makes me want to eat those little Hebrew National pigs-in-a-blanket. They frozen in wasteful plastic trays.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:07 PM
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Not "pigs", but I don't know what they actually call them.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:07 PM
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In certain (drunken) moods, I do actually buy and eat the Hebrew Nation pigs in blanket hot dogs.

But these disgusting items from Za Hut (as we called that chain in New Orleans) make me gag just looking at the ad.


Posted by: delagar | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:17 PM
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And holy hell - FREE! mustard dip!

O boy!


Posted by: delagar | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:17 PM
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They frozen in wasteful plastic trays.

At night, the ice piggies come.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:20 PM
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9

Is Pizza Hut giving up on its new cool menu already? I liked the different crust flavors and sauce drizzles and the thin crust option.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:21 PM
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10

like a caveman

NOT like a caveman, asshole!


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:22 PM
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11

The new ISIS recruitment poster.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:24 PM
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12

Bee Caves, duh.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:27 PM
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13

I thought they were going all hipster and trendy with the sriracha flavored crust.

Then again I saw a Denny's commercial that had something with sriracha. I thought to myself, "I don't know this country anymore." Also, it's possible I'm not entirely up on what's hip and trendy.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:28 PM
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14

12: I laughed.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:30 PM
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15

"I don't know this country anymore."

This morning, I was waiting for the bus with a young man smoking a pipe and wearing a hat that looked a cross between a Civil War cap and a baseball cap. I wonder how he put out the pipe quickly enough that he could get on the bus.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:31 PM
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If you ignore a pipe it'll go out pretty quickly. You need to keep smoking them to keep them lit, unlike cigarettes or cigars. (But also unlike them they can be easily relit without any trouble.)


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:41 PM
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17

I suppose maybe he stopped drawing on the pipe when he first say the bus, but that's still maybe 30 seconds.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:48 PM
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It's because if you can actually see visible smoke coming out of the pipe itself when you're holding it you're smoking it too hot. Ideally you really do smoke it right on the edge of going out (that's why there are Iamnotmakingthisup pipe smoking competitions where the winner is the one who smokes it the longest). Thirty seconds is probably enough that it won't smell any stronger than your shirt.

I mean, he could also just turn it over and give it a tap so the tobacco falls out and then step on it. It's less of a mess than a cigarette butt would be.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:53 PM
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19

People on the bus have been complaining about my shirt.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:54 PM
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20

You should probably take it off, then, as a courtesy.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 2:58 PM
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21

Good sturdy wool jacket, pipe in the pocket, no problem. (If I take up smoking on old age it will be a pipe, the only burning tobacco that has ever smelled good to me.)


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:00 PM
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If I took off my shirt, I'd have to walk home.

21: This guy didn't have a jacket (it's a warm day), but I bet if he did have a jacket, it would be wool.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:03 PM
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What is up with these pizza chains? Dominos (formerly Domino's Pizza) is just putting cheese-covered crap on pieces of paper now, according to their ads. "Plates, dough, fuck it. We've figured out what garbage you assholes will tolerate. Never mind that Taco Bell beat us to it."


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:15 PM
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24

My guess is that the general improvement of food in America over the last twenty years or so has put pressure on the niche they used to occupy. I mean, I can remember when the choices for boring-ish midrange food ranged from McDonald's to Olive Garden* and in that context Pizza Hut could position itself as pretty good overall (or at least easily acceptable).** But now if you're interested in reasonably-nice-but-not-pricey it seems to me that there are an awful lot of options that aren't the old pizza chains, so they're being pushed downwards into the really-cheap-or-gonzo-food niche.

I'm guessing the hotdog pizza is the same as the double down - designed to last for a few months and pick up a bunch of people who are either genuinely curious or who are just willing to eat it because it's bizarre. (The double down is still around, I think, but doesn't need a separate setup like this one would.) And while they're doing that they'll buy some other stuff as well. In six to eight months it'll probably be gone in most places, and within a year another bizarre thing will show up to replace it.

*I still have fond feelings about it, despite not having been there for over ten years, just on grounds of it being the only place that met my parents' criteria for eating out that served salads that weren't half cheese. And I mean it was fine if basic food. But salads! That aren't expensive and tiny or half shredded cheddar cheese!
**Also I moved from a dismal pit of a place to a fairly nice one, I mean, but I've visited the old place and there's a really obvious difference all the same.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:28 PM
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25

We used to eat at Pizza Hut pretty much every Friday. My town didn't even have a McD's then. I can remember asking for quarters so I could play Joust or Pac Man while we waited. My dad would order Michelob, because it really was the champagne of beers in 1980 in rural Nebraska.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:32 PM
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26

15: was the cap one of these? I haven't been able to make up my mind whether I like them or not.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:33 PM
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27

midrange food ranged from McDonald's to Olive Garden*

That seems like a wide spectrum. If McDonald's is "midrange," what's low-range? (My parents rank Olive Garden in their "expensive, nice restaurant" category.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:34 PM
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it'll probably be gone in most places, and within a year another bizarre thing will show up to replace it

You mean like a pizza box that's also a movie projector, where I'm guessing the audio sounds like a phone inside a cardboard box?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:36 PM
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29

Holy hell, this is appalling. I am appalled.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:38 PM
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26: That shape, but no logo. It was all black and maybe leather.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:42 PM
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27: McDonald's is midrange if you don't order off the value menu. Taco Bell is always low range.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:43 PM
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32

Personally, for my cheat days, when I indulge, I prefer an 88,000 calorie Nutella doughnut burger.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:46 PM
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33

88,000 calorie Nutella burger here


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:47 PM
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34

24: I'm not sure the chains need to be doing all these gimmicks, per se. Probably at least half the impetus is justifying the existence of a bunch of executives and senior managers. No incentive for anyone to say, "you know, we basically have a good handle on this business, let's just keep it moving and it'll be fine."


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:48 PM
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If the Republicans weren't doing it for them, the executives and senior managers would have to work to keep the minimum wage down and would be too busy to fuck with the menu.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:50 PM
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justifying the existence of a bunch of executives and senior managers

My theory is that Doritos hired a bunch of stoners back when the Doritos Collisions flavors emerged (those flavors are, per wiki: Hot Wings/Blue Cheese, Zesty Taco/Chipotle Ranch, Habanero/Guacamole, Cheesy Enchilada/Sour Cream, and Pizza Cravers/Ranch). But eventually the stoners ran out of Doritos ideas, so now they've moved on to the fast-food-restaurant-consultancy circuit.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:54 PM
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37

There's also the 130,000 calorie potato chip brick burger, but that one looks like cheating because it seems literally inedible.


Posted by: TRO | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:55 PM
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38

I prefer executives fucking with the menu to fucking with customers by making them perform for their meal.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:58 PM
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39

Oh and there's some sort of festival/carnival in the Midwest town I'm in so there's the usual "how disgusting can we make the food" things like deep fried chips with bacon and cheese.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 3:59 PM
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40

I've been meaning to start smoking. Maybe I should try a pipe.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 4:29 PM
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Pipes are great if you have at least a half an hour to smoke, which means basically either you do it at home, in the car, or very infrequently. Unlike the other kinds of smoking you actually have to learn how to do it, or else it'll be really unpleasant. They are nice, though. Don't buy cheap black cavendish because it's disgusting.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 4:53 PM
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42

I think I remember people smoking a pipe in the bar. I know they use cigars.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 4:56 PM
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43

I'm amused that I knew 27 was essear before I scrolled to see his name.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 5:01 PM
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44

I had wings for dinner. The pizza with hot dogs made it seem healthy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 7:24 PM
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45

Don't buy cheap black cavendish because it's disgusting.
Smoking rotten bananas does seem like a bad idea.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 8:14 PM
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46

They'll call you Mellow Yello.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 9:11 PM
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47

I think you can get high from huge piles of bananas. But maybe the Anarchist Cookbook was full of shit.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 9:19 PM
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47: Supposedly it was a hoax that William Powell fell for and reproduced in the book. Man, I've still got my copy my dad bought for me when I was 12.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 9:25 PM
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49

Yeah, it was a Krassner hoax, but everybody believed it.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 9:29 PM
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[I got rid of my Anarchist Cookbook several years ago when I was doing a purge of books with bad karma.]


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 9:30 PM
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51

As long as the recipe for C4 is accurate. Or at least inaccurate in a way that errs on the side of not blowing up.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 9:33 PM
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52

Soon: NMM to Startup Castle.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 10:05 PM
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53

I hadn't looked at pictures. How is that a castle? It's not remotely siege-proof.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 10:14 PM
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54

Clearly.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 10:18 PM
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I mean, it couldn't even withstand an onslaught of media attention.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 10:19 PM
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56

I have been assured that a industrial pile of banana peels is radioactive enough to be technically controlled rad waste, because the K concentration is high enough and there's enough natural potassium radioactivity. Possibly also a folktale. Possibly more of the same folktale: the throwaway last line as I recall it was "not that that concentration would be dangerous unless you smoked it. Don't smoke K-rich crops like bananas or tobacco."


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 10:36 PM
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57

Speaking of castles and Bay Area real estate (via Bave at the Other Place).


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-11-15 10:50 PM
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58

Pizza Hut has been airing ads on Comedy Central's site for a clearly party oriented pizza slab that comes with sauce pots which you're apparently supposed to dip the pizza slices into. WTF? If the pizza tastes better with the sauce (and I doubt it), maybe put the sauce on the pizza to begin with?


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 2:11 AM
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59

52 A 3 day notice to vacate. How is that legal?


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 2:52 AM
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34: No incentive for anyone to say, "you know, we basically have a good handle on this business, let's just keep it moving and it'll be fine."

I think that universities would be much healthier if new deans, presidents & etc. came in with the idea that their job was to keep the lights on and keep things running smoothly, rather than thinking that they had to do something flashy and "leadershipy" to make their mark.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 4:31 AM
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60: In my more philistine moments, I feel that that could be said of about 90% of humanities research. Trying too hard to be innovative and "original" makes a lot of stuff much less interesting.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 5:13 AM
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OT: Last night some asshole drove into the tree that shares my bus stop. It's a substantial tree, maybe ten inches in diameter at the base, but so much of the bark is gone. Isn't that all that connects the roots to the leaves?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 5:20 AM
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The tree more "shades" than "shares".


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 5:20 AM
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I was doing a purge of books with bad karma.]

Natilo: worse than the unholy combination of Stalin, the Caliph Omar and the Dalai Lama.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 5:46 AM
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62: I think that's the sapwood, which is probably more ok. It's still not a really thick layer but it's the (usually) lighter colored wood underneath the bark.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 7:34 AM
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That's good. The actual wood didn't look like it had much damage except in a baseball-sized spot.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 7:38 AM
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"Girdling" is the issue -- if the bark is gone in a full circle, the tree's probably going to bite it. I'm not sure about about percentages, but I think it's probably fine if half or more of its circumference is undamaged, getting iffier as the damaged arc gets bigger.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 7:47 AM
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68

And IIRC, it's about both the bark and the layer right under: xylem and phloem.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 7:48 AM
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Girding is what I was worried about. It looked like maybe 3/4ths of the circumference was de-barked.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 7:49 AM
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That is, if you picked the cross section of the tree with the lowest percentage covered by back, I think that would be about 75% barkless.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 7:52 AM
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71

The cross section of a transverse plane of the tree, to be precise.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 7:53 AM
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When I was younger, we had a tree on our property that was similarly damaged. At the same time, we discovered that the tree was suffering from some sort of fungus, too, so we were sure one of the two problems would kill the tree. Sure enough, de-bark was worse than the blight.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 8:12 AM
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73

Oh good lord, Stanley.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 8:13 AM
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74

That really puts things into perspective.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 8:17 AM
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75

That's really going to bother me all day.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 8:24 AM
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76

Is it a plane tree?


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 11:59 AM
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77

(My parents rank Olive Garden in their "expensive, nice restaurant" category.)

In HS we all took our prom dates to Olive Garden, because it was basically the nicest place around.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 12:25 PM
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("We all" in 77 meaning "me and many people I knew". Not "me and all of you", or "me and essear's parents".)


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 12:27 PM
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62: Yes, girdling can kill a tree, but it's also possible to graft across the damage and for quite a large tree to survive on only a few grafts. City arborists may not be this hands-on, but you could ask. Or see if locals are willing to pay for it.

Or ask that the driver be required to pay for it!


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 12:46 PM
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xylem and phloem

The phloem is outside of the xylem, so it is the phloem that is the issue in girdling. Xylem carries water and mineral up to the branches, leaves and fruit. Phloem can flow both ways and is how sugars move from the leaves (for instance down to roots/tubers).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 6:11 PM
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77: I took my high school girlfriend to Olive Garden at least once. Maybe a couple times. Reader, she married me.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 06-12-15 6:18 PM
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