Re: Everything you need to know in order to understand my grandmother

1

The website in question turned out to be [pause] www.unfogged.com. And now you know the rest of the story.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 8:06 AM
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2

Did they modify the website? I would have been afraid not to.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 8:29 AM
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3

Is "it's all new and exciting and we changed everything into something you've never seen before!!" really the best pitch when trying to sell things to people who are really old and looking to live in a community made up entirely of really old people? I mean, maybe it is and given how the other retirement communities are in the area "we're totally different" might be a really good slogan. But it still seems odd.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 9:09 AM
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I doubt the service here is being sold to people who are really old. I suspect the service here is being sold to people who are middle-aged and could be accurately described as "not having to worry about who is taking care of your parents, while incurring a reasonably bearable level of guilt about it." The pitch of "we're not like we used to be, or like other retirement homes you may have heard about" is pretty spot on for that market.


Posted by: widget | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 9:17 AM
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5

Or "Whatever 60 Minutes reported about us is now in the past."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 9:46 AM
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6

Did she just send a copy to you, or did everyone in the family get one?


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 10:05 AM
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Probably she would have sent a copy to her three kids and selectively half of the grandchildren, using insulting criteria to pick them.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 10:39 AM
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8

This is a great letter.


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 10:53 AM
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9

This sounds like my beloved grandfather, if he were incredibly petty with what he pursued. The level of pedantry, the reference to follow-up, is all very familiar. Friends of his told me he fought a pitched battle with some entrenched bureaucracy on their behalf, and I bet there were bery similar letters, but it served a really personal cause for them.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 10:56 AM
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10

This is such an excellent letter.


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 3:07 PM
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11

My mother once showed me a copy of a letter written by her father circa 1941, telling various military superiors off in no uncertain terms, related to his flounce out from a specific unit - maybe barrage balloon testing? Apparently pretty entertaining. I've just asked for a scan.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-18-15 4:48 PM
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12

This is a really great letter.

One of my earliest childhood memories is of my grandfather sitting at the kitchen table in his house in Bensonhurst pecking out these letters to Pres. Nixon on an old Underwood typewriter and cackling to himself. Years later after he died I came across a bunch of them, very weird and funny and all basically telling him to fuck right off.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 4:04 AM
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13

I love 12.

And heebie's grandma's letter. (Dang, I thought this was the grandma who was not-so-compos? She's still got skillz.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 6:19 AM
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14

Well, this is from 2008. I just came across it recently cleaning out some boxes. She's definitely not capable of this sort of thing now, unfortunately.

12 is really great.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 6:34 AM
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Years later after he died I came across a bunch of them, very weird and funny and all basically telling him to fuck right off.

You should transcribe them and post them somewhere for the benefit of all!


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 6:55 AM
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12 is great. But I'm curious -- does that mean he didn't mail them or did he make copies?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 7:30 AM
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16. Our most valuable asset.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 7:57 AM
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18

When my grandfather proposed to my grandmother, she responded with a long letter outlining conditions of acceptance. They included, iirc, him paying off his debts and abstaining from cabarets, her remaining politically active and being allowed to smoke cigars in public, and together spending at least 5 weekends a year in Varadero.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 7:58 AM
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being allowed to smoke cigars

OK. deal breaker.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 8:08 AM
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I may not like cigars either, but I love your grandmother, CB!


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 9:19 AM
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The letter in the OP is fabulous, and the detail which makes me chuckle each time is that it's dated the day after the phone call.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 12:18 PM
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14: Yeah, I realized immediately afterwards that it was old-ish but when I came back to say "Duh" to myself, my comment hadn't posted. Weird.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 1:13 PM
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To complete the picture in 12, like any Italian gentleman of his generation he'd be sitting in his own home at the kitchen table in a white button down shirt and tie.

I may have some of those letters back in NY. I'll have to take a look when I'm on leave.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 1:21 PM
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24

I've now gotten the scan and typed it up. It's pretty interesting, if digressive. Nine pages handwritten, addressed to his captain, subject line "Reasons for not wishing to continue as platoon chief". Some selections:

Let me preface my remarks by saying that at no time have I claimed for myself the attributes of a soldier. At best I am a civilian, wearing a uniform, owning my own conscience, and having a deep sense of responsibility toward my country and the Army of the Unity States, which is defending it.
...
To recapitulate, up to six weeks ago there was high morale. When Major D___ said in his farewell speech that this was the best barrage balloon battery ever formed, not one man listening to him doubted him. If the same words were spoken now, the next sentence uttered by the orator would be drowned in a tidal wave of snickers from the ranks. I do not blame you as I consider that you are purely a victim of circumstance. In addition I have faith in your because of your demonstrated intelligence and the fact that I know that you have the welfare of the battery at heart. I feel that way even though I was very angry when you neglected to back me up in the restriction of Pvt. C__ W__ for not attending a rifle instruction meeting. When he finally was restricted I was not informed until forty hours thereafter. But I realized that you have good faith and the matter probably slipped your mind, so my anger was short lived.
Please do not think that the above paragraph was set out in order to smooth your feelings toward me. If it were my desire to cater to people of authority and to seek special favors, I assure you that there would be no occasion for this letter.
...
Even though events have proved that I am correct, these officers still persist in their attitude that it is not necessary to give orders and the devil can take the consequences. When I tell them some of the men, including myself, take pride in their work, their site, their platoon, and their battery, they laugh at me and say that is silly, that all anyone cares about in the army is a good time. They do not believe me when I say that some of my men voluntarily give up all passes during periods of extra work.
These are the same officers, who, at the meeting the other night, blamed the noncommissioned officers for siding with the men. If that is a crime I am guilty. I can see nothing but merit in a person who takes pride in their job and attempts to do it to the best of their ability. I will take his part in any conflict with a person whose main purpose in the army is to have a good time. That is specially so when they do so with no regard of the fact that they have been given commissions in the Army of the United States by the President. The men can have little or no respect for officers who use the army communication to arrange brawls. At the least it should be done privately so that the officers do not lose dignity before the men they have been commissioned to command.
Please do not think me a prude. I am anything but that; I have travelled and seen too much. It is only that I consider that there is a proper time and place for everything and I cannot blame the men if they lose respect for officers who use such bad judgment. That is not the only type of instance wherein these officers have lost rank in the eyes of the noncommissioned officers and men.
...
But, as I said in the preface to this letter, I am only a civilian wearing a uniform. I can not carry out orders that I do not believe are handed down in good faith. In order to relieve myself of having to perform such tasks I have asked to be removed as platoon chief and given a job on the switchboard. There my actions will only have an effect on iron and wood when I carry out orders. They will not deal with flesh and blood and brain and soul, and I can keep faith with myself and my principles.

Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-19-15 8:42 PM
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25

Hey Barry, would you drop me an email at this address when you get a chance? I need some book recommendations and I think you could help.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 12:22 AM
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26

A little late there, isn't it?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 12:24 AM
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27

I guess she went to bed.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 12:51 AM
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25 Email sent.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 12:54 AM
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Hi teo!


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 12:55 AM
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30

Hi Barry! What time is it there?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 12:55 AM
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31

(It's midnight here.)


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 1:00 AM
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32

11 AM. And I slept very late since I have a week off for the Eid and it took me forever last night to wash everything from the beach to get the sand out so I was up till about 3 AM my time. I ended up putting far too much detergent in the laundry and the washer- a front-loader- started spewing out suds onto my kitchen floor, glad I bought that squeegee last time I went to Carrefour. Now about to hop in the shower and get ready to go there again and do some other errands, chiefly get my eye exam for my driver's license.

How's the weather? On Eid it got up to 120 and humid which it usually isn't. Thankfully it's only 115 right now but very low humidity.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 1:05 AM
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The weather has been beautiful here lately. Highs in the low 70s, lows in the mid-50s, mostly sunny but with occasional light rain.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 1:09 AM
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It's 4:30 here. I got home at 3 and have been talking to Lee. I have to work by 8 and really need to wash Selah's body and hair before that.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 1:30 AM
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35

34: Ugh, I guess that's your reintroduction to real life after vacation. Hope everything goes well.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 1:51 AM
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36

As for me, I drank a bunch of coffee this afternoon (probably not the best choice!) and am still pretty wired. I've made great progress on a blog post I've been meaning to write for several weeks but didn't really get started until tonight. I should probably go to bed rather than trying to finish it, but we'll see. It's really long and in-the-weeds, so not my most accessible work for a general readership, but it's important stuff to get down for my own future purposes if nothing else.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-20-15 1:56 AM
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