Google Maps could definitely be better about bike routes. I checked my commute just now. Their suggested route puts me on an unnecessary hill and has me turning left off a major avenue I don't currently bother with.
Did heebie hit up Yahoo! Maps to find the dopest route?
In 2000 I asked mapquest for a route to the grocery store, which I knew how to get to, and it gave me an EMBARRASINGLY inefficient route. Seriously probably 5x the shortest distance to the store. I haven't trusted mapping programs since.
There are obscure things that googling fails to find. For example random songs from summer camp seem to have no results unless I'm misremembering the lyrics. And of course there are personal interactions off the grid- I knew a guy who wrote pretty funny and catchy songs but he never published or performed them publicly so there's no way to find the whole songs unless I try contacting him.
obscure things that googling fails to find
What's that song that goes HMM-hmm-HMM-hmmhmmhmm?
Getting home from the antique store today, Google told me a route that would take 63 minutes, which I ignored, and after ignoring the first turn they put me on a route that would take 55 minutes, and after ignoring another turn they put me on a route that would take 47 minutes. Either they have the defaults set to "avoid all construction sites, even if there is no construction and no traffic delays" or there is some wacky A/B testing going on.
I concur wholeheartedly with urple in 3. Since I mostly walk and bus, and my little triangle is way more circumscribed that Debord's student's, it doesn't come up that much. It does seem like they're somewhat more clever about not putting pedestrian routes going the wrong way down the interstate nowadays.
My commute, when I drive, is based on what I think is most likely to be fastest on average. It isn't always fastest, but is fastest often enough to make avoiding this one stretch of freeway worth it. Plus, two parts of the route have traffic that can change fast enough that Google's re-routing around traffic won't be up to date enough to help.
I've timed my normal route, alternative routes, and have seen Google suggest my route, so I don't think I'm just guessing.
Seeing this post title in conjunction with the one below it makes me subconsciously read it as "Fascist route." You know, like the route Donald Trump would take.
What's the fascist route to fraudulent blowjobs?
3 is far from the complete story! I will also never forget a drive in late 2008 from somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Pennsylvania, back to Boston, where I was living at the time. I had checked the route on a map and it was a straightforward series of interstates, but my wife put the trip in her garmin anyway. At one point the damn computer told us to get off the interstate (a decision which I railed against! But my wife would not listen to me. She is a slave to the machine) and drive for like 50 miles down some goddamn back road, before getting back on the same interstate. I looked at a map later and was able to determine that this detour must have saved us maybe 1000 ft of travel distance, which is what the computer must have been optimizing, but it cost us at least 30 minutes of travel time.
And the absolute worst part of all this is that the computers are getting better all the time, but I refuse to trust them. A few months ago I was driving home from somewhere on the middle of nowhere, TN, and had google maps navigating me. It gave me directions that were OBVIOUSLY WRONG and showed the obviously right way as being 45 minutes slower. I ignored it and went the right way (because I will not be slave to a machine), only to realize it was trying to get me to take a different route because there was an interstate-closing accident which had backed up traffic for miles. And THAT is when I learned that, at some point over the last few years, google maps has developed the ability to alter routes based on real time traffic data.
Point being, now when Google maps tells me to do something stupid, I don't know if it's just the program being goofy or if it's reacting to a wreck or other traffic issue. Which makes it worse than useless. I want some way to just tell the computer which route I want to take, and then have it alert me if there is some traffic issue that warrants a detour.
12. Garmin will take on some seriously scary roads if you take it too seriously. One time we followed it to make a maybe twenty mile trip in a part of England we don't know well, and after maybe half an hour Mrs y had a total meltdown because there was no sign that we'd ever get back on a road that two cars could pass on, and there was no signage and it was actually very weird.
Point being, now when Google maps tells me to do something stupid, I don't know if it's just the program being goofy or if it's reacting to a wreck or other traffic issue. Which makes it worse than useless. I want some way to just tell the computer which route I want to take, and then have it alert me if there is some traffic issue that warrants a detour.
As a fallback, could you not check the traffic overlay after plotting a route? If there's a more direct seeming one not going through red roads, it's probably being goofy.
re: 15
I drove from Kalamata airport to Kalo Nero in the Peloponnese, following my sat nav.
Instead of taking me along one major highway, and straight along the other for a roughly 40 minute drive, it took me straight over the middle of the mountains, including, at one point, literally routing me through between these:
http://previews.123rf.com/images/karapas/karapas1210/karapas121001311/15945427-The-Arcadian-gate-at-ancient-Messene-in-Greece--Stock-Photo.jpg
That is really the road, that runs between those. I went straight on assuming the sat nav was wrong, and then realised I was in a village where the road was literally too narrow for any car. And had to reverse down an approximately 30% twisting incline until I could find a churchyard to turn in.
At one point I drove round a land-slide which had taken out all of the road surface, above a cliff. Stressful at the time, but now, I wouldn't have missed that drive for the world. It was about 4 hours of madness, with totally amazing views.
I've since discovered the setting in the sat nav that prefers fastest to shortest, though.
The better paved, safer bits of that drive looked like this:
I've asked google to find me public transit routes twice recently. First time it gave me a perfect route, nearly to the doorstep. Second time (over a much shorter distance) it gave a series of bus connections so batshit it would likely be faster to walk.
It's a good thing human beings are so good at giving directions
CityMapper is great at transit directions. Any visitors to London, be sure to use it.
I was going to come in here and second urple by telling my tale about how my GPS once pointlessly directed me to get off on a service road on the Grand Central Parkway only to have me go back on about 12 miles later and how consequently I no longer trust such devices but ttaM's story takes the cake and enrobes it in fondant.
I keep Waze* on my phone as a double-check when Google seems to be giving weird directions. Often you can see that yeah, there's been an accident or a bridge is out. And of course GPS is much more reliable in cities and such.
*Pretty sure Google either bought Waze or the rights to their data, but the Waze interface shows all crowd reports, which Google doesn't do.
Garmin will take on some seriously scary roads if you take it too seriously.
I am reminded of that tragic story a few years back, I think it was in Washington State, where Garmin sent a young family off onto an obscure logging road during a blizzard. The car got stranded and they were stuck there for days.... the father eventually went for help, but froze to death before he could find any. The wife and child were later rescued.
Was that a GPS thing? I don't remember that part of the story.
The German family that died in Death Valley didn't involve GPS at all, but it really bothered me.
In LA, Waze is life-changing. There are about 30 separate ways to get anywhere and all you care about is avoiding traffic in real time. It took my commute from about 30 to about 20 minutes, and maps slightly or very different routes (depending on traffic) every time. For driving other than the commute, you can reliably predict how long it will take to get places, which itself is awesome. Makes the city much more liveable. Almost as much of a life change as the smart phone itself.
Ok, the story Spike remembers didn't involve GPS. Because the guy who died worked at CNET, apparently people assumed he had been relying on GPS, but the wife specifically said they were using paper maps and just made a wrong turn.
Every time I've ever been in LA, the last 30 minutes of every meeting has been spent with everyone else giving a detailed and informed opinion about how I should get where I need to go, either that day or the next. With Waze, though, I'm wondering what Angelenos talk about.
Maybe this clears out enough time to get (and care about) an NFL team?
|| While I'm got you, Tigre, maybe you (or some lurker) can answer a question I've had for years. At the beginning of every movie you have these short bits of film, some quite creative, dedicated to the logo of the production company (there are usually 2 or 3 of these). Is there a technical term for these little snippets of film? |>
I think it's just called a production logo, (or, per wiki, alternatively vanity card, vanity plate, or vanity logo; also opening logo for one shown at the beginning.
The German family that died in Death Valley... French family too more recently.
26/30: That makes more sense. If there had been a GPS involved the thinkpieces would have been unending.
There have been multiple cases of families stuck in blizzards on side roads but the other famous one I'm thinking of happened in the 90s. I think it got made into a tv movie, back in the day before infinite thinkpiece.
There have been multiple cases of families stuck in blizzards on side roads but the other famous one I'm thinking of happened in the 90s. I think it got made into a tv movie, back in the day before infinite thinkpiece.
Thanks! I like "vanity plate" and will use that.
Here in the heartland, "vanity plate" means a personalized license plate.
I'm pretty sure the answer to 11 is abuse of power.
In Virginia vanity plates are dirt cheap so very common. One I've seen a bunch of variations on is a string of 1s and I's intended to be confusing to automatic license plate readers and cops. It seems exceptionally stupid to me, since if I was a cop I'd be looking for any excuse to pull those guys over.
Yeah, "production logo"'or "opening plate." Unsurprisingly the order and appearance of those things are always negotiated and contractually determined.
Where human life is cheap, so are vanity plates.
If bicycling in London, or in fact anywhere much in England, cyclestreets net is the only reliable gps/satnav, which finds very good backstreet routes, though it can have a scary fondness for the most obscure and quietest streets. Google cycling directions are homicidal and seem to take no account of traffic at all.
In North Carolina, all of the revenue from personalized license plates goes to fund the program that plants wildflowers along the highways.
My work building's garage has both "BNKR1" (white Rolls) and "DVRCER1" (Porsche Carrera, female divorce lawyer).
My love for you is like a truck
DIVORCER
In that it has passed you by as you stand on the side of the highway
DIVORCER
How are they not getting keyed all the time?
50 - presumably they never park on the street, and the garage is class-segregated (God forbid a secretary or paralegal would get to park in the main garage).
I was thinking of getting MDCRLWR to accurately sum up my practice but that one might for real get me fired.
18 is great.
For some reason, Google doesn't have public transit data for Vienna, but it's pretty solid for biking. Local apps do a good job with public transit, though. The very idea of getting anywhere without a phone is almost unimaginable to me at this point. I was getting embarrassingly impatient with our refugee flatmate last night who wanted, like, real directions to a soccer field and I just can't fathom the mindset. The phone is magic! Use it! Magic!
There are now a number of road signs in Britain, some official, saying "Do Not Follow SatNav." My favourite story is the HGV driver who ignored one of them, turned down a narrow road, and severely damaged a house on the next corner - while driving a truck emblazoned "Intelligent Logistics."
The place to spot vanity plates in Ogged's sense is the Edens Expressway. Most vulgar I ever saw was EXWIFE.
Speaking of Quixotic trips by local transit, I'm thinking of using the bus to get my rental car at the Lincoln airport. Because everybody here has a lot going on or really isn't supposed to be driving. Anyway, I'd have to walk for fifteen minutes, ride one bus for a half hour, catch another bus that leaves at the exact moment the other arrives, ride the second bus for forty minutes, and then walk for a half hour hoping that TSA doesn't find a guy walking to the airport to be inherently suspicious.
I'll probably try it, but I'll make a mental note to complain about Pittsburgh's bus service less often.
Every so often a randomly assigned license plate turns out to be gold.
Also everybody should ignore their families and post entertaining stuff here because I am very bored.
Am I the only one who remembers the blog traditions?
I have been waiting for heebie to make her annual post.
My family wants to Skype but I'm to depressed spending Thanksgiving all by my lonesome in Arrakis so I'm lying in bed and binge watching the second season of Fargo instead and periodically refreshing the blog.
to s/b too
Also 52 is top form Moby.
I'm still on my mission to the white people, but dinner isn't for another hour and I don't have to cook anything.
A Sky news team had to be rescued from a satnav mishap here a few years ago.
http://www.mountainrescue.ie/node/417
47: Those programs make me so happy. Highways with wildflower medians are so much more pleasant to drive.
58/59/64: really? Not to be a petulant melodrama queen, but I thought everyone was sick of it. I can be (happily, easily) pursuaded otherwise.
60 makes me want to send Barry a virtual Turkey, though obviously I'm also refreshing the blog.
Barry -- protip for your Skype session. Wear a keffiyeh and a thwab. Carry a bloodied dagger. Get a vacant-eyed stare like Lawrence in the second half of Lawrence of Arabia. Make references to "no prisoners" and stagger around in a bloodthirsty daze.
It's awesome how much 66 matches Thanksgiving dynamics from a real family. "Mom we ALWAYS have sweet potatoes!"
66: Do it, Heebs! We need a new thread anyway. Ain't no petulant melodrama queens up in this house!
Poor Barry. I'm nearly the opposite. I moved (last month) to the boyfriend's hometown. He stayed in DC so we'd have two incomes while he job-hunted, with a hard move date of late December, job or not. His mother was beyond thrilled that we'd be "home" for Thanksgiving to attend the Brady Bunch type festivities with her husband's kids, and pouted a bit when I explained I'd be in DC for the holiday. With her son and our cats. Enjoying a quiet day.
Do it Heebs!
67.2 Black flag too? That reminds me of a joke I made that cracked up a dinner party of my fellow grad students pre 9/11. I was in grad school for Islamic studies at the time and one of the dinner guests was a fellow student in my program, a gay Lebanese dude, who told how he'd gotten rude stares and comments for being Arab and having the temerity to be reading Arabic on a plane trip he'd been on the previous week. At which point I told him he should have sat up proudly and announced loudly "Allahu akbar motherfuckers! Your ass is mine!"
BTW, I'm consoling myself with not having to put up with any rampant family Trumpism at the dinner table. Because I don't know if I could have taken it.
I'm also alone this Thanksgiving. My GF is with family, my family is 10,000 miles away, but my cats are competing for my lap so there's that. I'm listening to this and dancing around my apartment.
Ok, ok, I made the sweet potatoes.
Of course since my browser acts weirdly it's showing that Time Operator clip that neb posted previously.
Sorry it's tough, Barry! This was supposed to be my first holiday alone, but then Selah had an accident and got sent home to me so she can nap in fresh clothes since Lee was unprepared. So now I'm suddenly sad, but still grateful for all of you who've gotten me through this year.
Come to the Alice's Restaurant thread, Thorn! We're talking music. What are you listening to?
Aw Thorn, glad I could help in what little way I'm able. Now I'm gonna get all cornball on everyone, and maybe I should stick this in Heebie's annual Alice's Restaurant post or maybe not say it at all but I will; I'm seriously thankful for this blog and all you reprobates who come here and comment or just lurk. Thank everyone!
Thank s/b thanks
Thanks and goodnight!
In Virginia vanity plates are dirt cheap so very common. One I've seen a bunch of variations on is a string of 1s and I's intended to be confusing to automatic license plate readers and cops. It seems exceptionally stupid to me, since if I was a cop I'd be looking for any excuse to pull those guys over.
I wonder if the popularity of these took off before or after this comic.
To the OP, http://www.trailforks.com/ is the best website in the history of the internet.
79: I'm also thankful for the reprobates and degenerates. You are my people.
And as long as I'm linking old xkcds, this one is very relevant to another subthread.
For what it's worth, even though 18 was a bit unexpected, I do use my sat nav fairly often, but I use it to route around traffic, or to alert me that traffic exists so I can make my own choices. Since I commute the same basic route every day, and traffic is occasionally horrible, a warning and the ability to get back on route if I get lost is handy. Like anyone with a long awkward, commute, though, I have loads of sneaky back ways from A to B.
I've been finding Google Maps for biking a good first approximation. (I'm in a big city in the US.) I usually find that the optimal route is only a slight variation on Google Maps' recommendation (sometimes to avoid an unnecessary steep hill, as another commenter pointed out).
Some commenters are always mentioning geology stuff.
In addition to having cheap vanity plates, Virginia has a crazy number of specialty plates, allowing a driver to declare support for anything from a sports team to Virginia's tobacco heritage. Combining a vanity plate with a specialty plate led to the greatest license plate ever (since rescinded by the humorless DMV).
