Re: Eyes, Juries

1

Civic duty! Hooray.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:02 AM
horizontal rule
2

I don't understand how warmth alone could do that

Oil congeals as it cools, and liquefies as it warms.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:02 AM
horizontal rule
3

That explains the frying pan.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:03 AM
horizontal rule
4

The last time I got called for jury duty, it was a murder case. But they kicked us all out and started over because of America's history with race and the death penalty.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:05 AM
horizontal rule
5

Good god, in Texas people can go in front of a jury for divorce, child custody, that sort of thing. Much as I may not be fond of family court judges, that sounds much wackier. (Is this just bias? Is it just as weird to have a jury for anything for people who aren't used to it? It just seems like divorce in particular brings out judgey assumptions from other people's examples from a lot of people and that you might not want to encourage that.)


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:06 AM
horizontal rule
6

"Texas is unique, in being the only state where juries can render verdicts controlling the custody of children and their primary residence. Specifically, the family code specifies that a Texas jury can determine the appointment of a managing conservator (custodial parent), joint managing conservators and possessory conservators. The role of the conservator is to make decisions for the child and manage their care and daily life. Another right the conservator may have, which can be determined by the jury, is whether there will be any geographic restrictions on where the child may live, for example, limited to a certain county or defined area. The Texas jury can decide which parent may determine where a child will live."

http://barrowsfirm.com/texas-divorce-family-law-jury-trial/

Seems insane to me.


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:06 AM
horizontal rule
7

Huh. Apparently, punchy-lawyer is really good a Google-placement hacking.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:09 AM
horizontal rule
8

2: but why wouldn't taking a hot shower be sufficient?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:48 AM
horizontal rule
9

Also, I really like the title of the OP.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:49 AM
horizontal rule
10

Also there are probably 100 people here for jury duty. We are all sitting around quietly in the pews.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:50 AM
horizontal rule
11

Also there are probably 100 people here for jury duty. We are all sitting around quietly in the pews.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:50 AM
horizontal rule
12

||

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVCtJvLZvis

This is pretty great.

'Stayin' in black'

>


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 7:53 AM
horizontal rule
13

11: All the pretty jurors siting quietly in a row double-posting on their cellphones.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:01 AM
horizontal rule
14

Attorneys fees!


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:03 AM
horizontal rule
15

8: Not as much direct heat application? Putting a warm, wet washcloth over your eyes for a few minutes would probably have the same effect.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:10 AM
horizontal rule
16

That's why Batman has a cowl.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:11 AM
horizontal rule
17

How is voir dire pronounced in other states?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:44 AM
horizontal rule
18

Well, who knew. I guess it has an even more than usual in terrorem effect for making people settle their divorces, but if you want to be a crazy ex spouse Texas seems like a good place to go. Also, that judge's website in 14 is odd, it looks like DIY in your garage state government websiting or something.


Posted by: R Tigre | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:45 AM
horizontal rule
19

Vwar Deer, not Vore Dyer. I dunno if Vore Dyer is used outside of TX but I've only heard it there.


Posted by: R Tigre | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:46 AM
horizontal rule
20

I don't know but I think wheel of fortune should do a before and after puzzle where the answer is voir dire wolf.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:47 AM
horizontal rule
21

I've been using one of those eye masks, or something like it, every day for the past couple of years. The one you've got, the bean-bag type, is better than the other kind I tried, which had little gel packs. Both of those are superior to the warm, wet washcloth because they retain heat longer.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:47 AM
horizontal rule
22

Also, in other states there's no marksmanship component.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:49 AM
horizontal rule
23

It wouldn't surprise me if vore dyer was closer to the way law french was pronounced in 18th C England and 19thC America, and "vwar deer" is a back-fancy-fake prononciation, like calling Detroit "De-trahhh." But I don't actually know that.


Posted by: R Tigre | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:09 AM
horizontal rule
24

Dr. Skull also has jury duty, here in Fuck Smith. Here, you have Jury Duty for Eight weeks. He's on his fifth week. He's only served on a jury once so far -- he had to decide how much money to award a guy who got hit by a 80 year old woman who ran a stop sign driving her hummer and totaled his pickup. Also sent him to the chiropractor, who did more damage. But he wasn't suing the chiropractor. I forget why.


Posted by: delagar | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:12 AM
horizontal rule
25

23: Like Don Jewan.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:13 AM
horizontal rule
26

But the biggest annoyance about having jury duty, for Dr. Skull at least, is it's putting a huge cramp in his ability to schedule work. He's still doing day labor. That has to be scheduled beforehand, and he gets the best jobs if he can schedule it the day or the week before -- which he can't, since he doesn't know if he's going to be on the jury until midnight the night before.

And if he's not on the jury, he doesn't get paid for being on the jury.

And if he is on the jury, it's only $50.00.

ANNOYING.


Posted by: delagar | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:15 AM
horizontal rule
27

But the biggest annoyance about having jury duty, for Dr. Skull at least, is it's putting a huge cramp in his ability to schedule work. He's still doing day labor. That has to be scheduled beforehand, and he gets the best jobs if he can schedule it the day or the week before -- which he can't, since he doesn't know if he's going to be on the jury until midnight the night before.

And if he's not on the jury, he doesn't get paid for being on the jury.

And if he is on the jury, it's only $50.00.

ANNOYING.


Posted by: delagar | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:15 AM
horizontal rule
28

The fuck. I swear I didn't double-post that.

ANNOYING.


Posted by: delagar | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:16 AM
horizontal rule
29

But don't your jurors get to wear Federation uniforms?

Am I misremembering the 90s again?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:24 AM
horizontal rule
30

23: 300 years ago French already had all the silent final vowels like S and T, and the diphthongs with "o" sounding like "w". According to Wikipedia the main differences are that the E at the end of words like "cape" was still pronounced as a schwa (we lost that very late too), and it hadn't yet turned the L at the end of syllables into a Y.

Maybe the legal community in America and Britain were pronouncing French more wrongly then than they do now. Does that seem likely?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:31 AM
horizontal rule
31

Yes. Because Napoleon.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:33 AM
horizontal rule
32

30.2: I thought that it used to be a matter of pride among the English to pronounce foreign language words according to the quasi-rules of English pronunciation.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:34 AM
horizontal rule
33

Yes. Law French (and goodness knows the following is going to be vague and inaccurate), isn't 300 year old loan words from France, mostly, it's thousand-year-old Norman French that's been hanging around the English legal system since William the Conqueror put Francophones in charge of their judicial system and the rest of the government. So it could have ended up pronounced like anything. Halford's theory that at one point it was Vor Dye-er and has been overcorrected back to Vwah Dear is perfectly plausible, although I don't know if it's true.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:36 AM
horizontal rule
34

Maybe, because "voir dire" comes from anglo-norman Law French of roughly 1300-1600, and has nothing at all to do with France, so it seems likely English lawyers wouldn't have looked to contemporary France for prononciation.


Posted by: R Tigre | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:37 AM
horizontal rule
35

OED gives the pronunciation as "vwar dir", with the r's being English hard at the end.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:39 AM
horizontal rule
36

Totally pwnd


Posted by: RT | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:44 AM
horizontal rule
37

Maybe, because "voir dire" comes from anglo-norman Law French of roughly 1300-1600, and has nothing at all to do with France, so it seems likely English lawyers wouldn't have looked to contemporary France for prononciation.

Why does that seem likely, given that nowadays English lawyers look to contemporary France for prononciation?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:44 AM
horizontal rule
38

50 bucks for jury duty! That's pretty good. In DC, it's only $17. (wasn't it Becks who had a check from the DC govt for jury duty bounce? Oh, DC.)


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:45 AM
horizontal rule
39

I think daytwah has a certain ring.

Here's some hippie French.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:47 AM
horizontal rule
40

I get $6 for today. If I'm selected, it's $40/day starting tomorrow. Trial expected to last one week. I'm juror number 5.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:50 AM
horizontal rule
41

LEBLANC!


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:52 AM
horizontal rule
42

I dunno, "jury" and "estoppel" and "mortgage" and "tort" all have unique English prononciations. Voir dire is unusual in that its two words which stayed the same into modern French and are very common, though I guess the same is true for "tort."


Posted by: RT | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:53 AM
horizontal rule
43

It's only $50.00 if you actually serve. If they cancel on you -- as they mostly have so far -- it's zip. And generally it's too late to find work for that day, at least for Dr. Skull.

IDK what the situation would be for, say, a surgeon.

I wouldn't mind if the jury duty was for one day, as it is in New Orleans, where I'm from. But for eight weeks?


Posted by: delagar | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:54 AM
horizontal rule
44

I generally prefer tortes to torts.


Posted by: m. blanc | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:59 AM
horizontal rule
45

44: And tarts over both.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 10:04 AM
horizontal rule
46

"Tarts and tortes" is probably a thing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 10:14 AM
horizontal rule
47

http://www.tortesntarts.com/


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 10:18 AM
horizontal rule
48

Not clicking that at work.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 10:18 AM
horizontal rule
49

I just found a great recipe for an eggplant torte involving cheese and tomato sauce that I ate as dinners for a week before realizing it was a stealthy recreation of pizza.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 10:33 AM
horizontal rule
50

8: Not as much direct heat application? Putting a warm, wet washcloth over your eyes for a few minutes would probably have the same effect.

What my optometrist told me to do is to roll up a clean, wet washcloth in the shower and scrub gently across or just below my lower eyelashes with the roll. Seems to work.


Posted by: DaveLHI | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 1:09 PM
horizontal rule
51

bullets or valets


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 1:39 PM
horizontal rule
52

Moment of truth!!!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 2:55 PM
horizontal rule
53

I thought they had to swear (or affirm) to tell the truth all the time.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 2:56 PM
horizontal rule
54

Shit!!!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 3:17 PM
horizontal rule
55

Does 54 mean that heebie is a juror?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 3:23 PM
horizontal rule
56

Or that she has committed perjury.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 3:30 PM
horizontal rule
57

56: Probably wasn't a good idea to confess.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 3:32 PM
horizontal rule
58

Maybe she's commenting on the lack of bathroom breaks for jurors.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 3:49 PM
horizontal rule
59

Wee, the Jury.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 4:09 PM
horizontal rule
60

14:

My SO's mother is living a guy with one of those crazy exes, and Texas is, in fact, a wonderful place to be one of those. Texas law allows her to revoke his privileges to see his children if he ever spends the night with someone he isn't married to. He and my SO's mom live together and she has to go stay in a hotel whenever they come to visit.


Posted by: Trivers | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 6:25 PM
horizontal rule
61

Chicken.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:44 PM
horizontal rule
62

On the advice of counsel, I'm a chicken


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:46 PM
horizontal rule
63

On the advice of Frank Purdue, I'm a tender chicken.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 8:52 PM
horizontal rule
64

Seriously though, you got legal advice without a disclaimer. He's now responsible for everything you do.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:01 PM
horizontal rule
65

Legally. Not morally. Don't stab a hobo.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:02 PM
horizontal rule
66

If there was one thing the old school snob law professors drilled into us in first year as a weird signalling thing, it was that you never pronounced law french like french.

That and that it was always "Jones and Smith", not "Jones versus Smith" which was also some kind of evil Americanism.


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 02- 8-16 9:05 PM
horizontal rule
67

But if it is "Smith and Jones and Brown," you have a problem where as "Smith and Jones vs. Brown" is perfectly clear.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 9-16 7:00 AM
horizontal rule
68

66. Also, legal Latin is pronounced as if it were English. "Feye'at justitia et rooat seelum."


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02- 9-16 7:14 AM
horizontal rule
69

55- yes. All week! She's super excited about carrying out her civic duties. Not to V any SOOBC or anything.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 02- 9-16 7:17 AM
horizontal rule
70

VSOBC.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 9-16 7:22 AM
horizontal rule
71

VTSOOBC.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 02- 9-16 8:09 AM
horizontal rule
72

2026: Unfogged is rent in twain by acrimony over whether articles and prepositions belong in acronyms.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 9-16 8:43 AM
horizontal rule
73

I needed the "VS" because I was making a brandy joke.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 9-16 8:43 AM
horizontal rule
74

You're a fine one to do that.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 02- 9-16 10:12 AM
horizontal rule
75

67 even worse: Between Smith and Jones and Brown and another at the High Court - clearly Smith is bringing some kind of suit, but against three people or with two?

Who knows! I'm sure there's some clever trick to let you know but I never paid attention once I realised it was petty status crap (and now you know why my grades were pretty weak).


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 02- 9-16 11:12 AM
horizontal rule
76

If you had a pizzeria named "Papa Frank's" prior to Pope Francis being chosen, would it be crass to go all out with a big pope-themed marketing campaign afterwards?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 02- 9-16 7:47 PM
horizontal rule
77

That and that it was always "Jones and Smith", not "Jones versus Smith" which was also some kind of evil Americanism.

Even stranger, though I suppose in practice less confusing: it's written "Jones v Smith" - but the "v" is pronounced "and".


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-10-16 3:01 AM
horizontal rule
78

Which I suppose allows you to indicate who's on which side by stressing different words. "I'm testifying in Jonesandsmith... [pause] and Brownandwilson."


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-10-16 3:03 AM
horizontal rule
79

There's a Doctor Who episode entitled "Smith and Jones". Is it supposed to be a legal reference? (In it, one character is really named Jones and one using Smith as a pseudonym.)


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 02-10-16 3:28 AM
horizontal rule
80

79: more likely a reference to "Alias Smith and Jones", or indeed "Alas Smith and Jones".


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-10-16 3:48 AM
horizontal rule