Re: Never Forget

1

It was his liver.


Posted by: Clytaemnestra Stabby | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 9:45 AM
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2

Now now, let's not bicker and argue about who ate who.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 9:49 AM
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3

The story seems to be that she found his raw liver unpalatable, and cooked and ate his heart.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 9:51 AM
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4

I have like 20 minutes if anyone else needs a Hadith nitpicked.


Posted by: Clytaemnestra Stabby | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 9:52 AM
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5

Anyway, now that we're enemies forever, let me be the first to say that I hope my great-great-great-great-great grandchild beheads your great-great-great-great-great-great grandchild.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 9:52 AM
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6

100% down for being the mother to a line of world-historical apostates. It's on.


Posted by: Clytaemnestra Stabby | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 9:56 AM
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7

LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU!


Posted by: OPINIONATED GEORGE SANTAYANA | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 10:01 AM
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8

According to the internet, Obama and Bush are both descendants of the Prophet, the former through Hasan, the latter through Husain. I suppose this explains their differences in policy.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 10:17 AM
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9

I don't condone cannibalism outside of emergency situations, but based on animal organs I've eat, if I had to try organ meat from people, I'd start with the pancreas.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 12:59 PM
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10

The symbolic value of pancreas consumption is minimal.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:02 PM
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11

Unless the consumer is Big Sugar executive, perhaps.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:04 PM
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12

Big Typo ate my article.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:05 PM
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13

I've had either cow or pig pancreas (the menu didn't specify) and it was great. I've had liver from cows, pigs, and chickens. That ranged from bad to meh. The only hearts I've had were chicken hearts and turkey heart. They are, like you might expect for a muscle that beats continually, really chewy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:06 PM
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14

Anyway, I guess this is "Exhibit A" in the "Well-behaved women rarely make history" file.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:07 PM
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15

People keep feeding me fried pig ears.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:07 PM
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16

Sounds like a good problem to have.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:10 PM
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17

I've had to translate a few restaurant menus featuring what's euphemistically known as "variety meats," as grilled offal (horumon, literally "the stuff you throw away") is an Osaka speciality. Tripe and sweetbreads are easy, but I never did find any appetizing terms for cow intestine or pork uterus.


Posted by: Ume | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:25 PM
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18

The Native Americans used every part of the buffalo. So just learn their names for those parts.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:27 PM
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19

The big Chinese market near me just goes with those terms. Can't put lipstick on a pig uterus, I guess.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:29 PM
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20

Around here, they translate it to "General Tso".


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:32 PM
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21

Never forget who ate who's heart?


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:33 PM
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22

To the OP: I don't know enough to say, but it seems like slightly warming up to Iran and cooling off with Saudi Arabia might make some strategic sense in a "let's you and him fight" kind of way.

In other Persian news, one of my daughters has doctor from Iran, and I find it hard not to swoon at her accent. Then I think of the couple of Farhadi's films I've seen and think, no, don't even flirt, it would end badly.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:35 PM
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23

Around here, they translate it to "General Tso".

It's funny how the name of the general varies around the US. In Boston it's always General Gao.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:37 PM
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24

As long as it's still breaded pig uterus, it doesn't matter.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:40 PM
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25

22.last: Just don't forget you have friends who are single and looking for just that sort of ending badly!


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:49 PM
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26

25: She's pretty lovely and I think maybe your type, but I don't know what team she plays on.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 1:52 PM
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27

Stabby has in right in 1.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:07 PM
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28

4 Technically it's sira lit, not hadith.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:08 PM
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29

28 As long as prophetic nits are being picked.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:09 PM
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30

I've eaten pig brain, which tasted ok except all I could think of is what prion disease I'll be dying of in 20 years.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:30 PM
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31

I also had a thought. Is General Tso supposed to be from Cao Cao of the Three Kingdoms?


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:31 PM
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32

28 uh huh ok technically now it's looking bleak for your issue for the next 1000 years, too.


Posted by: Clytaemnestra Stabby | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:34 PM
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33

Bring it. I've got motherfucking Shai-Hulud here.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:37 PM
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34

I eat a lot of scrapple. Some say its made with pig brains. I don't really know and I don't really want to find out.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:39 PM
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35

Will "sassed in comments" be the "ate the heart of" of 3816, yes.


Posted by: Clytaemnestra Stabby | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:41 PM
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36

Lurkers cannibalize you in email.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:52 PM
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37

Why does our motherfucking library close at motherfucking 5 pm on a Sunday? Can someone get a fatwa against them?


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:55 PM
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38

Why do you hate librarians?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 2:56 PM
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39

At least your library OPENS on a Sunday.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 3:03 PM
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40

9: as I keep telling you people, go for the liver first. it's much nicer and high-energy, so you'll have the strength to carry the rest for later.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 3:26 PM
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41

26: My dating goal is not to ruin anyone else's life, and entrapping some nice pediatrician from the West Coast would presumably count.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 3:53 PM
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42

I, however, have no such scruples.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 3:59 PM
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43

41: Watch A Separation and About Elly and get back to me.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 4:16 PM
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44

43: Oh honey, I have several decades of Iranian movies to discuss with anyone willing to talk to me. Weed 'me out early is my motto.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 4:19 PM
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45

If you were going to go full cannibal, wouldn't you eat legs+butt first? Those are the tastiest parts of most mammals.


Posted by: R Tigre | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 4:22 PM
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46

I think it depends if you're prioritizing taste or energy density.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 4:32 PM
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47

Except its best to take a bite out of a heart when its freshly ripped from the chest, still beating.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 4:47 PM
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48

31: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zuo_Zongtang


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 4:56 PM
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49

Why does our motherfucking library close at motherfucking 5 pm on a Sunday? Can someone get a fatwa against them?

Your library is open on a Sunday? In the afternoon? You must be in a very prosperous place.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 4:57 PM
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49

Or a large research university. (Which is by most standards prosperous, except our cartoonishly evil president squandered our cash flow on bad real estate deals.)


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 5:17 PM
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51

48

Ah. Wonder how he feels to be most famous for fried chicken.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 5:20 PM
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52

45: I assume so. That's why 9 is limited to "organ meat".


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 5:22 PM
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53

Oh, not a public library. Yeah it should be open until 2 AM on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday nights, midnight on Friday and Saturday nights, and 10 PM tonight.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 5:22 PM
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54

53

I believe it has hours more similar to that once the quarter starts (though with weirdly early close on Fri and Sat nights), but it's annoying for people whose schedules don't coincide with the academic year.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 5:31 PM
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55

A quarter not starting until October doesn't coincide with many academic years either.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 5:57 PM
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56

go for the liver first

I dunno, man. The liver has a pretty gross job.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 6:26 PM
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57

has a pretty gross job

I KNOW - TELL ME ABOUT IT!


Posted by: OPINIONATED KIDNEYS | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 6:41 PM
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58

I was at a fairly large Asian supermarket today (I had a hankering for duck lately, and it's the best place to get cheap duck I've found.) I'm always amazed to see the animal products that show up thhere. The absolute prize this time was something labeled "ox lips." There may have been a translation issue or that may have been exactly what they were--they looked revolting, but who knows--maybe they taste great when prepared correctly.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 7:35 PM
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54: Shorter summer and intersession hours are, sadly, an accepted part of academic penny-pinching nowadays. There are months where, as a non-academic with a regular full-time job, I can't go to the academic library here where I have alumni borrowing privileges because they have no weekend hours. On the other hand, the public library I use has a good enough interlibrary borrowing system that it doesn't come up much.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 7:55 PM
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45: My friend's father had a conversation with Prince Charles in which the subject of cannibalism came up. Apparently Prince Charles had heard first-hand*, from an actual cannibal, that the tastiest part of a person to eat is the muscle between the thumb and index finger.

*In retrospect: sorry, this wasn't intentional


Posted by: Seeds | Link to this comment | 09-25-16 10:32 PM
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61

I wonder if that would be any different in a culture where people mostly work at computers?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 5:03 AM
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62

Anyway, to the OP, it doesn't seem strange that the Iranian chief of staff didn't forget. I'm certainly not going to forget it now that I've heard it. It's very memorable.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 5:05 AM
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63

Are those Melanisians who worship Prince Phillip cannibals, because it seems like one of the best parts of being Prince Charles would be having a cannibal army that worships your dad.


Posted by: R Tigre | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 5:20 AM
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64

Why is that that checking over the kids' homework or appointing the government of Canada is always a "mom job" and dads get fun stuff like knowing the good cannibals?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 5:22 AM
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65

Using the internet to check it seems like "no longer cannibals" is true of the Prince Phillip Movement of Vanuatu, also I suspect that the cult may at this point largely be a sham designed to attract money from British TV producers.

Still, it's kind of a latent potential-cannibals-who-worship-your-dad situation. Which is more than most of us have.


Posted by: R Tigre | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 5:25 AM
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66

58. Oxlips?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 5:29 AM
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67

65 I'm a long practicing vegetarian but I find that profoundly disappointing. I think they should eat some random human at least once every 5 to 10 years just to keep up the rep.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 5:34 AM
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68

On utilitarians grounds, I think you could justify it. One person experiences great disutility but this is outweighed by billions experiencing a small, but measurable, boost in happiness.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 5:38 AM
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69

Flanders: You're not getting to be one of these cranks who think that eating people is cruel, are you? Seeing the man sitting in the pot and you think he's suffering. Oh, it's not like that at all. Why, he's just had an invigorating chase through the forest, sitting there in the nice warm water with all the carrots and dumplings and things, he's thinking, "Oh, the pleasure and happiness I'm going to give to a heap of people". That man in the pot there, he enjoys it!

Swann: Eating people is wrong!

Flanders: Look son, son, I admire your sincerity. Always be sincere... whether you mean it or not. But you're young, you're young, when you're young you think you can change the whole world overnight, even eating people - I know, I've been young myself. Take it from your old Dad, you've just got to learn to take the world as it is.

Swann: I won't let another man pass my lips!

Flanders: I know why you say "Don't eat people", because you are a coward, Francis, that's your trouble. Yes, a yellow-livered coward. You wouldn't mind eating people if you weren't afraid of ending up in the pot yourself - how despicable! If you go on like this you're liable to get ME into hot water.

Swann: I won't eat people.

Flanders: That's enough!

Swann: I don't eat people.

Flanders: I don't want to...

Swann: Eating people is wrong!

Flanders: Communist!
Going around saying "Don't eat people",
That's the way to make people hate you.
We always have eaten people, always will eat people,
You can't change human nature!


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 5:51 AM
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66: Definitely not. Looked like giant, cartilaginous, slightly furry pink and gray caterpillars.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 9:44 AM
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Still, it's kind of a latent potential-cannibals-who-worship-your-dad situation. Which is more than most of us have.

Apart from Jesus.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 9:49 AM
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60: Like that tenderest bit on a chicken midway up the backbone on each side! That, the upper wings and the crispy skin are the only parts really worth it on a chicken.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 12:30 PM
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73

That, the upper wings and the crispy skin are the only parts really worth it on a chicken.

They're called "oysters" and you're insane.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 12:37 PM
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74

Not that the oysters are bad—far from it—but the idea that they're one of three "worth it" parts on a chicken suggests total derangement either of one's gustatory or of one's culinary faculties.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 12:38 PM
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75

Labios?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 12:41 PM
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76

or several decades of shacking up with a roast chicken enthusiast. Potatoes the same, could happily forego them for at least a decade. But then I'm not the one getting dinner on the table 5 nights a week year after year, so I happily eat the roasted bird. Usually skip the tuber, tho.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 09-26-16 12:54 PM
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