Re: Just Desserts

1

Long-game revenge is phenomenally satisfying and actually a really satisfying way to organize your life.


Posted by: Clytie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 11:13 AM
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2

I am open to suggestions today, believe me.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 11:14 AM
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3

There's definitely a Tanya Tucker song about a woman who's raped and like, goes to nursing school and works in a local hospital for years until her rapist ends up there, then she looks him straight in the eye as she euthanizes him.


Posted by: Clytie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 11:17 AM
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4

Revenge is a dish best crowdsourced. Not enough cooks spoil the revenge.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 11:19 AM
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5

One time, my stepdaughter ate all my almonds, and I considered taking revenge on her by packing her food for lunch I know she hates, but that time my better angels won.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 12:30 PM
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6

I think living well is majorly overrated.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 1:31 PM
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7

Revenge is a dish best enjoyed with a side of almonds.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 1:37 PM
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8

I have wished I had the right kind of brain and nerve to plan and take revenge but alas.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 1:38 PM
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9

I'll have a word with your people. There should be constant friendly messages of, " I wasn't going to say anything but you are a living saint" and " I can't believe you lasted as long as you did".


Posted by: Penny | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 1:40 PM
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10

6: I'd be curious to find out.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 1:46 PM
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11

I've actually been thinking about long-game revenge a bit lately. For some reason the idea of exacting revenge on my ex has become appealing again despite all the intervening years. Unfortunately most of my ideas are illegal or lack elegance or both. Maybe I'll swing by her place this weekend with a flaming bag of crap to leave at the door. Mildly inconveniencing and irritating your enemies counts as living well, doesn't it?


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 1:46 PM
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12

Ooh, this is one I've never told here but seems like it should have been told. Once at summer camp I was pissing in the woods next to another kid and he pissed on my foot on purpose. So a couple days later I pissed in a water gun and shot him with it. The end.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 1:52 PM
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13

3: that's the whole problem with revenge really. You euthanize one supervisor who got your stultifying marketing job eliminated and people get all incarceratory on you.


Posted by: Mr. Smearcase | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 2:10 PM
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14

12 to 8, I assume.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 2:26 PM
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15

I'm killing myself trying to find the song in 3. Is this the Shazaam of country music?


Posted by: Clytie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 2:32 PM
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16

Nope, I found it and it's exactly what I thought. No Man's Land.


Posted by: Clytie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 2:34 PM
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17

16: Impressive, Clytie.

But I'm not getting euthanasia from the lyrics (can't listen to the song at this time).

Maybe she's denying him painkillers, or maybe denying him forgiveness?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 3:05 PM
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18

But I'm not getting euthanasia from the lyrics

Try Radiohead if you absolutely must kill.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 3:14 PM
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19

I'm a little repulsed that Grand Island/Hastings/Kearney are apparently called "the Tri-City Area" by media types.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 3:17 PM
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20

Pirate Jenny is a nice revenge song. Nina Simon's version is a fantastic performance, but I like Ute Lemper's interpretation a lot.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 3:19 PM
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21

Much love to 18.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 4:04 PM
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22

I'm a little surprised this never occurred to me before, but Led Zeppelin's "Moby Dick" doesn't have enough revenge in it to deserve the name.


Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 5:53 PM
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23

Still qualifies because it's a great, white wail.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 6:03 PM
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24

I laughed.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 6:12 PM
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25

I like this story. Reminds me that I should try and see a Devils game this season. The last time I saw them play (maybe three years ago?), they lost yugely. To the Leafs. Sad!

Do psychologically stable people ever actually plan and execute acts of revenge? I mean, for real?

23 made me laugh.


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 9:14 PM
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26

The Rangers game on Saturday.

Especially if the Caps lose on Thursday.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 10:42 PM
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27

I'm not a fan of the Rangers. But that's a legacy, 'Original Six' team, so: respect.

My heart belongs to the Habs.


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 11:17 PM
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28

Oh, I'd think you'd be rooting against the Rangers.

I share your default disdain for expansion teams, but one really does have to respect the Bluejackets' streak.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01- 3-17 11:28 PM
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29

but one really does have to respect the Bluejackets' streak.

You know, I try not to be a hockey snob, because really, is there a more ridiculous form of snobbishness imaginable? But still: I grew up on Gordie Howe and Hockey Night in Canada and "Hockey? Well, that's our game."

All due respect to the newer, upstart teams; but the Original Six are the teams who really represent the sport to me.

Don Cherry yapping about the boys from Napanee. So stupid, so reactionary; but I know, or know of, some of those lads, and they play good hockey.


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 12:14 AM
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|| Apparently, if you own a UK hardback copy of "A Game of Thrones", the copyright page warns you that "this book is set in Trump Mediaeval". A great phrase for that sort of over-the-top armoured grimness.
|>


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 2:47 AM
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30: I am not a hockey person, but my Tim showed me a clip of Don Cherry once, and he was really something.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 4:07 AM
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32

Such a pity the cake spam didn't hit the "Just Desserts" thread.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 4:16 AM
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33

I thought Don Cherry was a trumpet player who worked with Ornette Coleman. Did he play hockey too?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 6:51 AM
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34

This is an amusing revenge ditty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw7gNf_9njs
Kind of hate the video but the song is stuffed with great one liners and makes murder seem quite fulfilling.


Posted by: yesnomaybe | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 7:39 AM
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Sometimes it's hard to separate being a fan of a "sport" from having a parochial interest in "tradition."

[That said the Jackets are playing unbelievable hockey -- no big signings, no stars, expected to be at the bottom of the league, but miraculously holders of the best record in hockey.]

34: Don Cherry is an unabashedly racist and xenophobic Canadian sports announcer who thinks "foreigners" are ruining "our game" (hockey) with their "unCanadian" behavior. Also a torture enthusiast with interesting epithets for muslims.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 8:27 AM
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36

Wish me luck at this interview in an hour, not least because getting this job would do a lot to further my long game revenge against a rich conservative twerp from my political theory seminar in college who made me go dutch on Ethiopian food and we hooked up anyway and I don't think he knows he didn't deserve it. Hahahaha now I'll be overturning laws he makes.


Posted by: Clytie | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 8:36 AM
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37

I'm listening to No Man's Land to psych myself up.


Posted by: Clytie | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 8:37 AM
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38

Good luck Clytie!


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 8:52 AM
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39

Cherry was a dick to PK Subban on several occasions but Subban had his revenge last year.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 9:17 AM
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40

[That said the Jackets are playing unbelievable hockey -- no big signings, no stars, expected to be at the bottom of the league, but miraculously holders of the best record in hockey.]

I'm bursting with pride.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 9:26 AM
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41

40: I love that so much. "He's no Bobby Orr!" (The Habs were dicks to Subban, whom I adore.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 9:31 AM
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42

I'm still upset the team isn't called the Mad Cows.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 9:32 AM
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43

Pulled down a perfectly good derelict prison for a team with a name that is stupid but not stupid enough to be briefly amusing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 9:33 AM
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44

44: Best name! Named for the Union Army!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 9:39 AM
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45

45: If I didn't live in a hockey town, I'd probably adopt the Jackets for just that reason (I'm not actually a huge Pens fan, but choosing a brand-new team from a city a couple hundred miles due west would just be perverse).

And 40 is great.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 10:17 AM
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46

Is there any way to actually watch the Blue Jackets play on TV? I don't get Fox Sports Ohio.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 10:37 AM
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I have the ridiculous NHL streaming package, but one can usually find less than legal streams to watch.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 10:46 AM
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48

but one can usually find less than legal streams to watch.

I suppose I could, but I'm not usually one to bother with that kind of shit.

It seems like our TV overlords are dropping the ball (puck?) on this one. One would think that Game #17 would be broadcast nationally on Fox Sports, but it looks like they are showing "20 Best UFC Punches" in that time slot.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 11:03 AM
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Completely owned the interview in 37 and most importantly was specifically complimented on leather suit. We'll see what happens but it's good to know I can walk into a full conference room and talk for two hours without crying or lying down on the floor or otherwise obviously shaming myself.


Posted by: Clytie | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 12:56 PM
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50

Congratulations!


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 1:00 PM
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51

It's like look everyone who's made it this far is otherwise qualified but only I have a leather suit so what is even the holdup.


Posted by: Clytie | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 1:07 PM
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52

52 gets it exactly right.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 4-17 1:36 PM
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53

So, Jane, the Ranger game won't be historic. I recommend the Devils game on Jan 20. A great night to sing O Canada in French!


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01- 5-17 7:38 PM
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54

That's too bad. I was just starting to get interested.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 01- 5-17 8:27 PM
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55

Hooray for leather suits bringing it!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 5-17 8:27 PM
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56

A great night to sing O Canada in French!

I can sing O Canada in either English or French, or sometimes both, whatever the occasion requires!

My absolute lifelong favourite hockey team: the Habs, les habitants, the Montréal Canadiens. The true soul of Canada. I remember being under-age at a pub in downtown Ottawa, where there was a portrait of (a shrine, really, to) Maurice "Rocket" Richard. We all loved the Rocket; we were all stupidly attached to hockey as some sort of proof of our merit, or something ridiculous like that (it's a British colonial thing, that overwhelming sense of inferiority, that need/desire to prove ourselves). Hockey? Well, that's our game.

(Note: Hockey really is our game, really is the game of Canada.)


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 01- 5-17 11:11 PM
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57

I always thought lacrosse was technically the most natively Canadian sport, they just never wanted to claim it.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 01- 5-17 11:36 PM
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58

Beats any of the inaugural balls, that's for sure.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01- 5-17 11:44 PM
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57: Hockey and lacrosse, your mean.

However, the habs really aren't the true soul of the country, only the soul of a piece of it - one that likes to pretend much of the rest doesn't exist.


Posted by: Soup Biscuit | Link to this comment | 01- 5-17 11:52 PM
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52: fuck yeah clytie! I loaned my mom my black leather pants for an important real estate negotiation one time and she utterly crushed it.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 01- 6-17 9:52 AM
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61

I've plotted some terrible revenge in my day but never gone for it. my stepdad's auto-destruction left me at a loss. I mean, he was living partially paralyzed in a home for the near-indigent disabled outside columbia south carolina, paying a black woman to have sex with him and go on beer runs, and he was deeply prejudiced in an "I prefer blondes and think black women are ugly" way, not a "secretly I want some brown sugar like in that one hey wow this is really, really, racist when you listen to it again rolling stones song" way. it was hard for me to think up anything worse. then he offed himself on the second day, after failing on the first and being saved. as a revengeur one just stands aside at that point.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 01- 6-17 9:59 AM
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62

Racist in the streets, egalitarian between the sheets.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 01- 6-17 10:05 AM
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63

indeed.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 01- 6-17 1:30 PM
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64

The kid's James Franco look is really hard to get past. Makes it feel like this is all some elaborate PR-stunt for a film.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 01- 6-17 3:20 PM
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