Re: It really gets to me sometimes.

1

"Rosebud! My childhood sled!"


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 1:43 PM
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2

So, this hasn't happened in a while, has it?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 1:44 PM
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3

"Vixere. IYKWIMAITYD."

(Thanks, Mary Beard!)


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 1:45 PM
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4

2 to the poster of the OP, not the OP.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 1:47 PM
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5

"Luke, I am your father. You started in my balls."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 1:50 PM
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6

Also, 1 is great.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 1:52 PM
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7

I couldn't very well hijack another thread to encourage other people to play a game.


Posted by: Tia | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:04 PM
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8

"867-5309, ext 98"


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:05 PM
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9

"I am not a crook. You can't prove that I am."


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:13 PM
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10

"I see dead people...like you."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:15 PM
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11

"To infinity, and beyond! It's really just taking a limit."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:17 PM
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12

Not "beyond" it isn't.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:18 PM
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13

"Where we're going we don't need roads. Because the skateboards hover above the ground, not on it."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:18 PM
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14

12: They're talking about the point at infinity, like stereographic projection.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:19 PM
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15

"You had me at 'hello'. I'm slutty."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:19 PM
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16

14: I better stop because I don't understand that.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:20 PM
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17

The answer my friend is blowing in the wind. Your farts have a distinctive odor.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:23 PM
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18

"I came to Casablanca for the waters. And to avoid US taxes."


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:25 PM
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19

"Baby got back. Last night."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:25 PM
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20

"We'll always have Paris, Texas"


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:25 PM
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21

"I like big butts, as would be predicted by evolutionary psychology because on the veldt a bit butt would indicate better nutrition and thus a greater capacity to pass my genes into the next generation."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:27 PM
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22

"We'll always have Paris. Just like Rick Solomon."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:28 PM
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23

"I like big buts, and I can't deny that they're more interesting than if-then clauses for establishing nuance."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:31 PM
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24

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, but in that case everyone will be at an equal disadvantage.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:31 PM
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25

"We'll always have Paris Hilton."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:32 PM
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26

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well. He was a skeleton."


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:32 PM
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27

"Who wants to sex Mutombo? Or maybe just hang out and get to know each other?"


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:34 PM
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28

"I have the most marvelous proof, which this margin is too small to contain. You'll have to find it by looking at first couple pages in the green notebook on that shelf over there."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:37 PM
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29

"I knew Jack Kennedy, and Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy, from this angle. From the profile, I see that you've got a similar nose-chin thing going on."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:40 PM
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30

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--. I took the one less traveled by, and my wife asked me why I can't just stop and ask for directions.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:40 PM
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31

"This is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off. But I'm only overcompensating for emotional shortcomings, so don't get any ideas about my penis."


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:43 PM
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32

That was me.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:44 PM
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33

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win, then they misattribute your quotes after you're dead."


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:45 PM
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34

"Yes we can, provided there isn't too much obstructionism from the other party!"


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:49 PM
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35

"I just want to tell you both - good luck. We're all counting on you. I know I came in and said that a couple of times before but it's really important, okay?"


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:52 PM
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36

"I kissed a girl and I liked it. I thought she did too, but then she muttered something about not performing for the heterosexual male gaze and left."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 2:56 PM
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37

Brevity is the soul of wit, so fuck you, clown.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 3:04 PM
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38

It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes. In the Sicilian dialect, the same word isn't used for singular and plural fish.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 3:07 PM
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39

Why did I do that with the tags?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 3:08 PM
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40

Here's looking at you, kid. The name's Milo.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 3:21 PM
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41

Not that Belladonna Took ever had any adventures after she became Mrs. Bungo Baggins. IYKWIMAITYD."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 3:22 PM
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42

I swear I didn't do that with the tags.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 3:23 PM
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43

"Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.... I mean, how many guys can say they've got a fatal disease named after them?"


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 3:28 PM
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44

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. Ironic, isn't it?


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 4:18 PM
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45

Reminds me of the game "Titles that Didn't Quite Make It" that Salman Rushdie and Hitchens would play:
For Whom the Bell Rings
Mr Zhivago
etc.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 4:25 PM
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46

For a long time I used to go to bed early. Gotta be ready to take on that day!


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 4:31 PM
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47

He heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead. Whattaya gonna do?


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 4:33 PM
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48

"Bangkok! Oriental setting. Shit. Asian. I meant to say Asian setting."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 4:35 PM
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49

"Saigon. Shoot."


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 4:38 PM
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50

"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Surrounded by glass and flipped over every time an egg is cooked."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 4:43 PM
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51

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. But they aren't real ice weasels, because there's no such thing. They represent metaphorical lawyers."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 4:45 PM
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52

"It's the stuff that dreams are made of: lead and glazing."


Posted by: DaveLMA | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:09 PM
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53

"Well, I'm back," he said. "I hope you didn't screw Saruman."


Posted by: DaveLMA | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:12 PM
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54

"We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. It was far out, man."


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:13 PM
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55

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past, or at least across the Sound to Connecticut, weather permitting."


Posted by: DaveLMA | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:14 PM
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56

"He had won the victory over himself, he loved Big Brother. Not in a gay way, though."


Posted by: DaveLMA | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:16 PM
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57

"I'll never go hungry again, unless I run out of old curtains."


Posted by: DaveLMA | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:18 PM
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58

"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done. Except your mom."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:20 PM
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59

When the going gets weird the weird turn pro, and maybe print posters or something.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:22 PM
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60

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Four score and seven means eighty seven years ago. See what I did there?"


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:27 PM
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61

"Literary effect. Watch and learn."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:29 PM
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62

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
Was this week his turn to summarize Piketty?


Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:42 PM
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63

For sale: baby shoes, never worn. Ordered accidentally.


Posted by: alex | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:42 PM
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64

Heh.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 5:43 PM
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65

She wore scarlet begonias tucked into her curls. I knew right away she was not like other girls. Other girls . . . would have worn those flowers on a barrette.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 6:09 PM
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66

I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree. But then I'll never hear a tree as good as a poem.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 6:14 PM
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67

There are so many great ones, but 62 made me laugh out loud.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 6:25 PM
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68

His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead, but fortunately the windows were boarded up so the dead couldn't get in.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 6:26 PM
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69

"The seaweed is always greener, in somebody else's lake, like the saying about grass and a fence."


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 6:40 PM
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70

"Exterminate all the brutes! Taking everything into consideration I have concluded that it would probably be for the best if someone killed them all."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:06 PM
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71

"Call me Ishmael. Maybe"


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:10 PM
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72

Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word. Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics. They have a lot of upside potential.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:16 PM
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73

That's pretty good.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:16 PM
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74

Not 72. 71.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:16 PM
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75

So I assumed.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:19 PM
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76

So I assumed. Because the one was pithy while the other was labored and unoriginal.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:29 PM
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77

It sucked but I'm too polite to say so.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:34 PM
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78

Go ahead, make my daytrip. I don't really care where we go.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:38 PM
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79

Let there be light, because I can't post comments in the dark.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:47 PM
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80

Let there be light, inside of a dog it's too dark to read.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:52 PM
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81

I did not have sexual relations with that woman, unless blowjobs count.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 7:54 PM
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82

"Et tu, Brute? I mean, REALLY???"


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:06 PM
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83

I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish Wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes. Sleep tight, Leopold.


Posted by: Kymyz Mustache | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:06 PM
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84

Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams and he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect, he was quite astonished really.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:14 PM
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85

life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and a pony.


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:14 PM
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86

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. I couldn't give a flying fuck.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:15 PM
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87

Is 83 actual literature or something? I can't place it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:20 PM
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88

87: Molly Bloom's soliloquy at the end of Ulysses.


Posted by: Kymyz Mustache | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:24 PM
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89

87 Molly Bloom's soliloquy in Ulysses.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:25 PM
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90

Great. I've given myself a lifetime exemption from reading Joyce.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:26 PM
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91

There were plenty of days coming when he could fish the swamp. Except for the days when he had to be at Zumba class.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:32 PM
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92

Wouldn't it be pretty to think so. But let's be honest with each other.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:34 PM
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93

I couldn't decide whether to be or not to be on the parade clean-up crew.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:50 PM
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94

My god, it's full of stars, you guys.


Posted by: Kymyz Mustache | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:53 PM
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95

Bond. James Bond. James.


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 8:59 PM
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96

I am haunted by waters, because I spent a lot of time on rivers with my brother and dad when I was young. Mom worried about us.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:00 PM
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97

This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper
Because of our corruption and lack of vitality.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:08 PM
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98

I think I might have gout. Et tu, Brute?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:11 PM
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99

"Know whut I mean, Vern? Your name is Vern, isn't it?"


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:13 PM
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100

"We are made of star stuff. Also, dinosaur shits."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:16 PM
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101

My offer is this: nothing up front, 30% upon receipt of half the merchandise, and the balance payable within 90 days of receipt of the remainder.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:16 PM
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102


64
Heh.

Indeed. Don't bother reading any more because half the time that's all I say and I'm a standard issue Republican partisan who just calls himself a libertarian.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:17 PM
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103

Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. Grave.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:18 PM
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104

"You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell for ruining the Earth and human civilization!"


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:29 PM
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105

Lay on, Macduff, and damned be him who first cries, "Hold, enough! Due process matters!"


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:38 PM
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106

Chicago, New York, Detroit and it's all on the same street. Glebe Road.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:45 PM
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107

Only for the sake of the hopeless ones have we been given hope, otherwise they'd be really hopeless.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:46 PM
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108

Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown. One stop past Union Station on the Gold Line.


Posted by: Kreskin | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:50 PM
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109

A poem should not mean, but be. Or something like that.


Posted by: Kreskin | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:54 PM
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110

Enlightenment is man's emergence from his self-imposed immaturity. Immaturity is the inability to use one's understanding without guidance from another. This immaturity is self-imposed when its cause lies not in lack of understanding, but in lack of resolve and courage to use it without guidance from another. Sapere Aude! "Have courage to use your own understanding!"-that is the motto of enlightenment.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:55 PM
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111

And so they are ever returning to us, the dead, like Rasputin or something.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:55 PM
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112

110 is funny. Good job, ogged.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:56 PM
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113

That was just for you.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 9:58 PM
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114

"I could've been a contender, I could've been somebody! Instead of a bum, which, let's face it, is not the part of this quote people are gonna remember!"

"Someone once told me time is a flat circle. Prepare to have your mind blown, detectives, I hope you're okay with sitting there silently for like a really long time."

["Conan! What is best in life?"] "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. Not to do anything else to the women, to be 100% clear; just, you know... listening."


Posted by: Lord Castock | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 10:03 PM
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115

It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
Don't focus on the parts that are your fault.
It's not your fault.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 10:13 PM
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116

A census taker once tried to test me, and for the life of me I couldn't remember my old zip code.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 10:17 PM
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117

Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Fuck you, clown.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 10:20 PM
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118

"Each and every man under my command owes me one... hunnert... Nazi... scalps! Or thereabouts."


Posted by: Lord Castock | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 10:22 PM
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119

"I am the punishment of God: if you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you. Now admittedly, I could also just be an asshole who kills people, but I like my first theory better."


Posted by: Lord Castock | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 10:28 PM
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120

114.3 is great.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 10:35 PM
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121

110 is just beautiful. That's my word for "funny."

"Get away from her, you bitch! You're a bitch, you hear me?! Yeah, you're the one, that's right, I fucked your mother!"

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, which is, like, 'The Coward's Paradox' or some shit. I can't solve it."


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 11:02 PM
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122

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, this was in the days before SSRIs or effective antipsychotic medications.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 11:13 PM
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123

Cry, cry, masturbate, cry, smile.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 11:35 PM
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124

Netflix and chillaxing


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 11:42 PM
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125

"The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads. That sucks. "


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 11:45 PM
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126

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past that, like Gatsby, we are doomed never to recover.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 11:47 PM
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127

Is this a dagger I see before me or am I just seeing things here?


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02-22-17 11:53 PM
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128

A census taker once tried to test me, and for the life of me I couldn't remember my old zip code.

I can still recall my childhood postal codes, because my dad used to make up little mnemonic phrases to help us remember in case we ever got lost. For example, I once lived at K2H 7B1, which my dad rendered as "Keep two houses: seven-bedroom ones." Admittedly, this is a lot easier for codes that include both numbers and letters.


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 12:01 AM
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129

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me a couple of bucks. I've got this damned landlord.


Posted by: Lord Castock | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 12:08 AM
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130

Out, out, damned spot! This stain is really stubborn.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 12:15 AM
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131

The pump don't work 'cause the Vandals took the handles. And the Ostrogoths took the bearings. It's just a mess all around.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 1:09 AM
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132

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree
Where Alf my next door neighbour ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.

(My phone autocorrects Xanadu to Canada which is even better.)


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 1:56 AM
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133

In Canada did Cobra Kai...


Posted by: Lord Castock | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 1:57 AM
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134

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife- preferably one with a solid background in tax accountancy.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 2:07 AM
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135

Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains! By which I mean metaphorical chains. I am aware that very few of you are actually chained up.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 2:48 AM
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136

"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. Except for a few months when I was six years old and wanted to be Kermit the Frog."


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:05 AM
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137

If a lion could speak, we could not understand him. Unless we were lions as well, obviously. Then we could.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:08 AM
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138

I've come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubblegum so I shall proceed to the ass kicking part forthwith.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:15 AM
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139

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, doesn't it sound funny when you say it so many times?


Posted by: Awl | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:23 AM
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140

To be or not to be; that is the question. Well one of the questions, anyway. I mean how do you actually *know* whether you exist or not?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:26 AM
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141

Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? Declare, if thou hast understanding. Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it? Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof; when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy? Or who shut up the sea with doors, when it brake forth, as if it had issued out of the womb? Me, I did, is the point I am trying to make here.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:35 AM
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142

138 and 103 are particularly good. 103 because I can imagine that irritating prat Mercutio saying it.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:36 AM
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143

106: nice


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 4:11 AM
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144

What is it like to be a bat? Flappy.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 4:18 AM
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145

Well, I laughed at 141


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 4:21 AM
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146

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Madam Chairman ...


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 4:22 AM
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147

I hope I die before I get old, at least if I haven't scored a decent pension


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 4:23 AM
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148

Klaatu Barada Nikto. Oh, hey, I got it first time!


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 4:24 AM
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149

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? You're both pretty hot.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 5:05 AM
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150

Some of you are changing quotes instead of adding on to the end. Respect the process.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:09 AM
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151

141 and 146 are great.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:12 AM
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152

A thing of beauty is a joy forever and ever.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:19 AM
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153

They are. But 132 is cheating, as is 129.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:20 AM
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154

"The lamps are going out all over Europe, we shall not see them lit again in our life-time. Because of America and Wilson."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:23 AM
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155

"We're going to need a bigger boat if we want to have a proper shark party."


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:24 AM
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156

Concur with 151 and adding 149.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:31 AM
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157

"Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison? Or attended CPAC?"


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:34 AM
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158

"Nuts! I have not yet begun to fight!"


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:35 AM
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159

Life ... is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:37 AM
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160

So many lols.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:41 AM
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161

While we, Chani, we who carry the name of concubine -- history will call us wives. Metaphorically.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:45 AM
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162

"Reader, I married him. Times being what they were, I had to seek security and status through binding myself to a male."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:50 AM
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163

161: "im not even going to be nice when i have to have sex with her."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:55 AM
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164

159 too.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:59 AM
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165

158 is great.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:02 AM
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166

The old man was dreaming about the lions. Not the marlin eaten by sharks, the lions.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:05 AM
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167

"Hard pounding, this, gentlemen. We shall see who can pound the longest. Hopefully, us!"


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:12 AM
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168

There seems to be something wrong with our bloody ships today. They keep blowing up.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:14 AM
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169

"I sing of arms and the man. Before Crossfit, but still very well defined."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:15 AM
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170

Out on thee, churl! The Emperor's no halfwit! Just not a morning person, is all.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:17 AM
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171

A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry. And as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in. And on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all. But I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl. IYKWIM.


Posted by: potchkeh | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:19 AM
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172

England expects that every man will do his duty. And that means you, Able Seaman Perkins. Don't think I haven't go my eye on you.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:21 AM
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173

-By God, sir, I've lost my leg!
-By God, sir, so you have. Must hurt like a bitch.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:22 AM
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174

"In the great green room. There was a telephone. And a red balloon. And 98 other red balloons."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:23 AM
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175

"Only the lonely know the way I feel tonight, which is lonely."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:27 AM
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176

Hast du etwas Zeit für M/tch?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:30 AM
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177

176 to 174.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:30 AM
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178

"Hang on a minute lads, I've got a great idea. Why don't we forget about the gold."


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:33 AM
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179

The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault. This time there were literal winged monkeys involved.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:34 AM
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180

Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves, that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, "This was their finest hour". Or year, or decade. But hopefully it won't take that long.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:34 AM
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181

Some chicken; some neck. More like a turkey, really. Or maybe some kind of goose.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:34 AM
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182

Dann singe ich ein Lied für Dick


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:36 AM
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183

Semi-OT:
In Canada did Cobra Kai
A badass dojo hall decree
Where Alf my next door neighbor lunched
On kittens while the senseis punched
Their students in the knee


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:39 AM
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184

JULES: Now. I want you to go in that bag, and find my wallet.
RINGO: Which one is it?
JULES: It's the one that says, "bad motherfucker". Literally.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:42 AM
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185

Tramps like us, baby, we born to run! Until we can afford a car.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:44 AM
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186

185 corrected: Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run! Until we can afford a car.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:45 AM
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187

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. I think it means an object or circumstance which cannot be imagined.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:46 AM
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188

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. On second thought, don't ask anything at all, these questions are annoying. Just make me a sandwich.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:49 AM
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189

187 is good.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:51 AM
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190

I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth. That last part is important, because the Russians will beat us if one-way trips are allowed.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:56 AM
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191

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. Even bazookas for people with active paranoid delusions.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:56 AM
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192

"We must stop the terror. I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Now watch this drive."


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:01 AM
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193

"Every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man. Apparently not so much about the hobo beards, but we are what we are."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:04 AM
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194

I am an American, Chicago born--Chicago, that somber city--and go at things as I have taught myself, free-style, and will make the record in my own way: first to knock, first admitted; sometimes an innocent knock, sometimes a not so innocent. Guilty, even.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:04 AM
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195

The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well. Apart from having had kids in his twenties, which, let me tell you, can get pretty fraught.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:05 AM
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196

I think wizard childbirth would be good to have discussed in the book. I assume that mom just disapparates away and leaves the baby behind.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:09 AM
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197

In the twilight of autumn it sailed out of Mithlond, until the seas of of the Bent World fell away beneath it, and the winds of the round sky troubled it no more, and borne upon the high airs above the mists of the world it passed into the Ancient West, and an end was come for the Eldar of story and of song. The end.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:12 AM
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198

Because otherwise there would have been a "episiotimous" spell.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:13 AM
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199

"Ceasarius" is already in use to make a salad.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:15 AM
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200

The baby would just apparate Side-Along.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:16 AM
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201

Is an internal side still called a side? Heebie will have to work the geometry.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:17 AM
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202

Do you believe in miracles? Yes! I know we've all read our Hume, but work with me here.


Posted by: Kreskin | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:19 AM
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203

Hmm. Maybe just wait until crowning and have somebody else side-along the baby to the next room.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:19 AM
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204

"Are you ready for some football? Because here come some commercials for beer and pickup trucks."


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:22 AM
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205

Is side-alonging transitive?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:22 AM
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206

Barefoot girl sitting on the hood of a Dodge drinking warm beer in the soft summer rain. She went into the garage to dry off and get a colder beer out of the fridge.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:23 AM
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207

"Jesus wept. Like a little wuss."


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:24 AM
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208

Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty. Meet me tonight in Atlantic City and bring all the quarters you can find in that jar of loose change on the kitchen counter.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:27 AM
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209

"He's wild, you know. Not like a tame lion. In fact, he's Jesus."


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:28 AM
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210

"Hallo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to dine out on this story for weeks."


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:30 AM
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211

The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
I know it's unkind but my own blood is much too dangerous
In fact, my family of origin is outrageous.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:31 AM
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212

205: I guess that's not explicitly covered.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:37 AM
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213

They're a band beyond description. Like Jehovah's favorite choir. You can search the whole Old Testament and you won't find any description of His favorite choir.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:40 AM
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214

I dont hate it he thought, panting in the cold air, the iron New England dark; I dont. I dont! I dont hate it! I dont hate it! But OK, maybe I'm a wee bit conflicted.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:42 AM
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215

I don't know but I been told it's hard to run with the weight of gold. Other hand I've heard it said it's just as hard with the weight of lead. This is wrong, however, since gold weighs about 70% more than lead.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:46 AM
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216

"Get busy living or get busy dying. Or continue to prevaricate."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:47 AM
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217

There can be only one! For that reason, I am tendering my resignation immediately.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:50 AM
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218

I came, I saw, I conquered, I got stabbed


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:51 AM
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219

And he that hath no stomach for the fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse.
Shit. Really? Everyone? OK, form an orderly queue.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:51 AM
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220

In watermelon sugar the deeds were done and done again as my life was done in watermelon sugar or sometimes agave syrup when I was low-carbing it.


Posted by: Swope FM | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:51 AM
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221

I thought of a great one as I was falling asleep but now I've forgotten it. Woe is me.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:53 AM
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222

Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus, and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs and peep about
To find ourselves dishonorable graves
In the shadow of his big swinging dick.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:54 AM
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223

190- "That's one small step for... man, one giant leap for mankind. Oh crap, I forgot the article, didn't I? Do you think that changes the meaning? People will care about that? Ok, can we do another take? What do you mean that's the only shot?"


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:56 AM
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224

"You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! How much experience did you say you had with demolitions, exactly? I'm not impressed, to be quite honest."


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:56 AM
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225

Build thee more stately mansions, O my soul,
As the swift seasons roll!
Leave thy low-vaulted past!
Let each new temple, nobler than the last,
Shut thee from heaven with a dome more vast,
Because you can always get more bonds issued to pay for it
With a well-crafted development proposal.


Posted by: Swope FM | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:59 AM
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226

"I have to warn you, I've heard relationships based on intense experiences never work. But then all human relationships are based on nonsense anyway."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 8:59 AM
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227

Semi-pwned 202

But how shall we excuse the supine inattention of the Pagan and philosophic world to those evidences which were presented by the hand of Omnipotence, not to their reason, but to their senses? Maybe they just didn't happen?


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:00 AM
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228

"It seemed like a good idea at the time" is a good second part to many of these quotes.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:00 AM
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229

173 is great too.

One of Many has been killing it in this thread.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:05 AM
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230

It seems like a lot of these are basing their extension on the principle of an extremely bathetic appendage (or in 222, an extremely impressive appendage). But wouldn't it be nicer if the extension weren't half a punchline, but just led the whole thing to limp along a bit too much?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:08 AM
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231

Bin so in Lieb' zu ihr versunken
Als hätt' ich von ihrem Blut getrunken
Wie ein Vampir.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:11 AM
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232

230 was the principle behind my Keats and Mercutio, which I think were my best.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:13 AM
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233

152 is really good!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:13 AM
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234

233 it is.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:14 AM
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235

Why thank you gentleman. 111 was funny, despite my not getting the reference.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:18 AM
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236

gentlemen


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:18 AM
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237

149 also made me laugh out loud. I agree that One of Many is hitting it out of the park.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:19 AM
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238

While this America settles in the mould of its vulgarity, heavily thickening to empire
And protest, only a bubble in the molten mass, pops and sighs out—hiss—and the mass hardens, …


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:19 AM
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239

235: W. G. Sebald's The Emigrants.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:20 AM
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240

"And protest, only a bubble in the molten mass, pops and sighs out"

This bit always makes me think of oatmeal.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:21 AM
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241

"Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. Of tapeworms."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:25 AM
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242

Cheers, guys.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:25 AM
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243

Some people don't think it be like it is but it do, pretty much.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:27 AM
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244

219: Alternatively:

And he that hath no stomach for the fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse.
Brexit means Brexit


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:32 AM
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245

I will not slave for beggar's pay, likewise gold and jewels, but I would slave to find a way to sink your ship of fools. I've been watching youtube videos and it doesn't seem all that difficult to sink a boat.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:33 AM
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246

Unadulterated:
'Yes, dammit, I said "was". The bitch is dead now.'
I always remember it without the 'now'. They cut it from the Craig movie too.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:42 AM
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247

The bowed head, the buried face. She is silent, she will never speak, never forgive, never reach a hand, never leave this frozen present tense. All waits, suspended. Suspended the autumn trees, the autumn sky, anonymous people. A blackbird, poor fool, sings out of season from the willows by the lake. A flight of pigeons over the houses; fragments of freedom, hazard, an anagram made flesh. And somewhere the stinging smell of burning leaves. A nearby robin eating a worm, still-green grass turning brown, what will Alison decide to do?


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:43 AM
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248

If music be the food of love, play on. If not, then don't.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:46 AM
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249

230: You could do that, and that's a valid approach,cf the Keats. However, I think the bathetic appendage works as well. What bothers me is empty bathos; that is to say, suffixes that do nothing but render the line stupid. Contrast "A screaming comes across the sky. It must be that gull I set on fire" with "A screaming comes across the sky. Boy, do my ears hurt!". I like the first one way better, not that either is great.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:50 AM
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250

Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war. My fiercest hounds, Charlie, Sampson, Hunter, and Rex.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:51 AM
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251

My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk
Or maybe it was something I ate.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:51 AM
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252

"I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. I don't live in Arkansas."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:53 AM
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253

The sky above the port was the color of television tuned to a dead channel. I mean the black and white fuzz, not a blue screen. I guess you have to be over a certain age to get this metaphor.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:56 AM
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254

"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever. Or a golf shoe with the little spikes."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:59 AM
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255

The summer sun looked down on him,
His mother could but frown on him,
And all the other sound on him,
He had to die, you know he had to die, or at least get a job.

(for CC)


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 10:36 AM
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256

"Ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die. Laydeez."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 10:39 AM
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257

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volleyed and thundered;
Stormed at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came through the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred and one.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 10:47 AM
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258

For those about to rock, we salute you. You are very fine rockers.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 10:49 AM
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259

"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. Where 'best' is defined only by a priori measures."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 11:01 AM
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260

"It was Beauty killed the Beast. Unusually name but great fighter pilot."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 11:02 AM
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261

My weariness amazes me
I'm stranded on my feet
I have no one to meet
And this ancient empty Street's
Too dead for dreaming
Better check Facebook


Posted by: Nw | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 11:50 AM
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262

"I have crossed oceans of time to find you -- uh... sorry, you have something in your teeth. Just there. No, no... to the left."

"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see your dialogue become foreshadowing."

"This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that salad or... salad or something-or-other was the most beautiful."


Posted by: Lord Castock | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 11:52 AM
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263

258: I was thinking along similar lines

Darling you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
I await the pleasure of your reply.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 11:53 AM
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264

These are all so wonderful. I'm pausing at 65 so I can regain my breath and not use them all up at once.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 12:06 PM
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265

Massive oh shit moment about something that could lose me my job, literally on way of office in taxi in dead of nigmt to check if I have fucked up biig time

Irish commmenter


Posted by: OH FUCK BIG TROUBLE | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:24 PM
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266

Fingers crossed.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:26 PM
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267

Oh no! Hope it's okay!


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:30 PM
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268

"Irish commmenter" is driving me nuts -- I have no idea (dalriata would have been a strong contender for Irish, but apparently not). But best wishes, whoever you are.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:36 PM
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269

emir
Well worth taxi ride
At all costs must lodge papers in land registry tomorrow


Posted by: THANK FUCK IT'S OK | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:38 PM
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270

Person whose handle is also a term for a middle-Eastern potentate?


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:39 PM
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271

Dublin, not Constantinople. (D'oh, pwned on preview.)

Awesome! Glad it's resolved--sounds like a serious oh shit moment. And that reminds me, I need to post the picture from our meetup in December!


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:41 PM
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272

270 to 268, but pwned by 269. (Glad it worked out.)


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:48 PM
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273

It's not that there was a problem that might have lost our client 60k that would have been job ending. The original issue is only partly my fault and that's what we have insurance for.
It's that I although worked out a plan to maybe fix it (obscure rules for priority over a judgement mortgage) and got the client to sign the papers I never actually lodged them* because I have to sit down and fix a few details and I keep putting it off.
Starting thinking about this tonight and got panicky, was doing Land Registry searches on my phone and couldn't find the lands registered in the name of the guy who owes our client the money. (Turns out I had the surname wrong.) Got taxi because I was too nervous to drive). Really needed to shoutout to somebody while I was panicking, thanks guys. I was also working out worst case solutions but since they would might ultimately involve getting family to help me pay personally they were far from ideal.

*this sort of thing my Achilles heel. Okay maybe it's time to go back to the counsellor for help in sorting out my self sabotaging habits.


Posted by: Emir | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:51 PM
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274

I think I will have a little drinkie now.


Posted by: emir | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 3:55 PM
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275

274: Christ, yes.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 4:04 PM
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274, 275. I second that emotion. Because I share it.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 4:22 PM
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What a good fun thread to read while surfacing briefly from endless work, and honestly even better for having a work disaster tucked in at the end, just a little memento mori. (Glad it was ok.)

Wasn't add-a-word-ruin-a-movie a twitter thing for a minute? The only one I remember is "Not Zardoz."


Posted by: Clytie | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 4:44 PM
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Hey Clytie -- my phone wanted that to be "hey Cutie," so take your pick -- did you ever read "Juneteenth"? I ask because it was at some point conceived as an Oklahoma novel, and also it contains some of the best American writing of its century, and I recall that you like to read books and stuff.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 5:16 PM
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No more time to tell how, this is the season of what. Specifically what middle aged low information white men in the upper midwest think the federal government does.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 5:53 PM
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280

[TBH, it's hard to find something more incongruous than eight sided whispering hallelujah hatrack!]


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:02 PM
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281

Я вас любил
Любовь ещё, быть может
В душе моей
Угасла не совсем
Но наверно, да, угасла.


Posted by: Мистер Смиркейс | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:35 PM
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282

Now that's just showing off.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:40 PM
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Specifically what middle aged low information white men in the upper midwest think the federal government does.

Steals their women?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 6:48 PM
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284

I'll drink your health, share your wealth, run your life, steal your wife.


Posted by: UncleSam | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:03 PM
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285

What I want to know is are you kind.


Posted by: UncleJohn | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:06 PM
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286

No.


Posted by: Opinionated Coyote | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:38 PM
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除非有的小吃,革命不是一个请客吃碗饭。


Posted by: 毛泽东 | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:41 PM
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What rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born again


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:47 PM
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289

Goddammit, 吃晚饭。
除非有的小吃,革命不是一个请客吃晚饭。


Posted by: 毛泽东 | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:52 PM
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290

"My very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning strike, severe burns and lung damage; it was startling and tragic)."


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 7:52 PM
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291

It really gets to me sometimes
(Almost as if this were some sort of jungle)
Makes me wonder how I'm going to cope.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 9:48 PM
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292

The trouble with Charley's stuff is that Hunter does self-deflation better

Come round the bend
You know it's the end
The fireman screams
-- and the engine just gleams

Is terser Macgonagall


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 02-23-17 11:07 PM
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277: I do remember that. "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Massacre," "Scott Pilgrim vs. The Third World" and "Bruno Mars Attacks" were all pretty droll.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 12:26 AM
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294

It and similar games are a regular thing on @Midnight and they invite Twitter to contribute.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 1:07 AM
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295

Like "films it is important not to confuse with each other" which I think we played here:

Before Sunrise/ From Dusk Till Dawn
Sleeper/Sleepers
Annie/Carrie
etc.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 5:20 AM
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My son saw "From Dusk Till Dawn" on the Netflix screen and asked to see it. That was one of the easier parenting decisions.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 5:51 AM
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297

Gummo/Dumbo


Posted by: Chris Dammers | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 6:32 AM
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298

Hmmm. Would a FPP mind pseuding that up please?


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 6:33 AM
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299

In the beginning was the word: yo.


Posted by: bexley | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 7:03 AM
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300

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Switching to twenty-four hour timekeeping in had eliminated a lot of annoying ambiguity.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 7:09 AM
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301

One must have chaos within oneself, to give birth to a dancing star, or to compete oneself in Dancing with the Stars.


Posted by: Awl | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 7:17 AM
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302

Another one bites the dust which tastes really bad.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 7:21 AM
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303

"An unexamined life is not worth living. So far as I can guess."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 7:32 AM
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"Know yourself. IYKWIMAITYD."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 7:32 AM
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305

"Seven nays and one aye, the ayes have it. Fuck you Seward."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 7:38 AM
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306

Drops mic, pops open stovepipe hat. Exit.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 7:39 AM
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307

Altogether elsewhere, vast
Herds of reindeer move across
Miles and miles of golden moss
Silently and very fast
Santa Claus is coming to town!


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 8:28 AM
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Like "films it is important not to confuse with each other" which I think we played here:

Canonically, The Aristocats/The Aristocrats.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 8:43 AM
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309

My brother tried to watch Donnie Brasco once and ended up with Donnie Darko.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 8:51 AM
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310

307 !!!!


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 8:58 AM
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311

307 is simply tremendous.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 9:04 AM
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Thank you! Just realised it might have been better as:

Altogether elsewhere, vast
Herds of reindeer move across
Miles and miles of golden moss
Silently and very fast
Coming to town: Santa Claus!


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 9:27 AM
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313

That is better.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 9:28 AM
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314

These are the times that try men's souls, for sure.


Posted by: Kreskin | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 9:52 AM
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315

That's good.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 9:58 AM
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316

As were a bunch of yours, Moby. Particularly 58.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 10:20 AM
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317

307/12 wins some kind of prize.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 10:20 AM
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318

I keep trying to rhyme "Claus" with "moss". It sort of works.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 10:21 AM
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319

Me miserable! which way shall I fly
Infinite wrauth and infinite despair?
Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell;
I just feel like, no matter what I do,
I can't find happiness,
You know?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 10:27 AM
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320

Peak chris y is in my opinion divided between 187, 181, and 140.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 10:29 AM
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318: It's at best an off rhyme, as I pronounce it.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 10:32 AM
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I (think I) pronounce the vowel in "moss" inconsistently, but sometimes it's the same as the vowel in "Claus." I would expect people in the inland north to more consistently have them rhyme.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 10:42 AM
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323

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

it will surely
make

moving those
stones

behind the
shed

so much
easier!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 10:57 AM
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324

I'd guess it's the same issue as whether the dialect exhibits cot-caught merger. But IANALinguist.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 10:58 AM
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325


I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

I'm a terrible
roommate. Did I
mention I also
used up the milk?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 11:06 AM
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326

Those must be the real words to ogged's poem?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 11:08 AM
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327

Except for the last bit.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 11:08 AM
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328

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
YUM!!!!


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 11:09 AM
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329

323 is great.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 11:15 AM
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330

I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return
Like Jack who yanked Sally's curls
Who then depantsed young Roland
Who purple-nurpled Tim
Then invaded Poland


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 1:00 PM
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331

330 is excellent and had the added virtue of introducing to me the delightfully horrific expression, "purple-nurple".


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 3:16 PM
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332

Hope this cute animal video works here.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 4:23 PM
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333

301: however, it helps a lot to keep the chaos *within*. Chaos leaking out is a sign of poor technique.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 4:28 PM
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334

Ditto to 331. It's funny how much of "September 1, 1939" applies right now in the US. E.g. people trying to hold on to normality in their private lives.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 5:09 PM
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335

Defenceless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages
Mainly cock-jokes.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 5:09 PM
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336

Rock your baby to and fro, not too fast and not too slow. If you go too fast, she'll probably spit up on you; too slow, and she'll keep fussing.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-24-17 6:06 PM
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337

Ich bin ein Berliner (not the donut).


Posted by: phred | Link to this comment | 02-25-17 8:06 AM
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338

Found this on reddit and it's way too good not to steal.

This city is afraid of me...I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No problemo."

Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 02-25-17 8:38 AM
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339

The apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough
Held by one dude in the crowd
Look pretty


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02-25-17 8:56 AM
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340

331: I envy anyone who only learns what a purple-nurple is in adulthood.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 02-25-17 2:46 PM
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341

I despise you, I despise your order, your laws, your force propped authority. Hang me for it! Assholes!


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 02-25-17 5:32 PM
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342

Ask for work. If they do not give you work, ask for bread. If they will not give you bread -- take the bread. And some other sandwich fixings, whatever you like, really.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 02-25-17 5:34 PM
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343

Veni, vedi, vici, vixi.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 02-25-17 5:42 PM
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344

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. Because these xenomorphs are extremely dangerous, and we're not even really sure how they propagate themselves (well, except for the developmental stages which involve a human host, with which we are all far too familiar.)


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 02-25-17 5:51 PM
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345

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Only 2019s kids will remember!!


Posted by: Noumenon72 | Link to this comment | 02-26-17 11:05 AM
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346

"Give me your clothes, your boots, and your motor scooter."


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-26-17 11:20 AM
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347

"In the game of Donkey Kong, Lord Stark, you win or you die. There is no middle ground."


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-26-17 11:21 AM
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348

"I lied. I'm going to kill you first. How's that for a surprise, eh?"


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-26-17 11:38 AM
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349

"They're coming outta the walls. They're coming outta the goddamn walls. Let's book! Let's run really fast! Away!"


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-26-17 11:56 AM
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350

347: There are rules, anarchist.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-26-17 12:40 PM
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351

Game over man! Game over! we'll have to respawn at the last save point!


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 02-26-17 1:39 PM
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352

It'll be dark soon and they mostly come at night. Mostly. Like your mom.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-26-17 2:04 PM
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353

352: Respect. Much respect.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02-26-17 4:42 PM
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354

Do I contradict myself? Fake news! SAD!


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 9:40 AM
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355

Heh.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 9:41 AM
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356

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears....of corn."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 9:42 AM
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357

"A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse! Not a shitty one though."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 9:47 AM
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358

Someday we'll find it--the Rainbow Connection--the lovers, the dreamers, and me. Just make sure you budget enough time to make it, what with Border Patrol stopping more people. Jesus, it's like all of our airports have turned into CDG.


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 9:55 AM
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359

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Is your hat covered in seeds?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 9:56 AM
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360

'I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. After a while I started to wonder if it was something I said."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 9:58 AM
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361

Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes. Like your mom.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 10:52 AM
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362

To dream the impossible dream.
To fight the unbeatable foe.
To bear with unbearable sorrow.
To run where the brave dare not go.
These all seem like poor ideas from a utilitarian perspective.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 11:01 AM
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363

It's people. Soylent Green is made out of people. And not attractive ones either.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 11:05 AM
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364

Who put the bomp in the bomp-bah-bomp-bah-bomp? The bomp-bah-bomp-bah-bomp is not parking for unregistered bomps. Please move your bomp or it will be towed.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 11:08 AM
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365

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest
Because I'll know that I've done my best


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 11:11 AM
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366

Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent. Hans, I'm talking about you, you pompous ass.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 11:17 AM
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367

I refute it thus! Does your toe think that's an Idea?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 11:23 AM
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368

Put your right hand in, take your right hand out.
Put your right hand in, and shake it all about.
You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around.
That's what's it's all about.
Proctology.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 11:24 AM
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369

You're supposed to make it worse, not better.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 11:29 AM
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370

You're not the boss of me.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 11:43 AM
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371

Who's the anarchist now?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 11:45 AM
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372

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. Hate the game, not the player.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 12:06 PM
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373

There's a lady who knows all that glitters is gold, and she's buying the stairway to heaven, which is cocaine, because it gets you "high", get it?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 12:11 PM
horizontal rule
374

Gaa. Earworm.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 12:13 PM
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375

So you got it!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 12:17 PM
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376

Yes. It's been in my head enough that I had to pay royalties to Robert Plant.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 12:34 PM
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377

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Mostly.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 1:08 PM
horizontal rule
378

Grant me the strength to change that which I can, the serenity to accept that which I cannot, the wisdom to know the difference, and the charisma to pass my bluff checks.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 1:20 PM
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379

Aujourd'hui, maman est morte. Merde!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 1:21 PM
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380

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. So why are you always nagging at me, bitch?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 1:21 PM
horizontal rule
381

St. Paul was single for a reason.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 1:25 PM
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382

Dolly Parton's version of 373 is something else.

And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene.
So ease on back off of him, girl.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 1:48 PM
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383

"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges! We're actually criminals acting solely by force."


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 3:37 PM
horizontal rule
384

That was me.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 3:38 PM
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385

If you plant ice, you're going to harvest wind. Which is really difficult to store, I'll tell you what.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 4:32 PM
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386

Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine. Jessie is a cuckservative.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-17 5:24 PM
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