Anyone using the phrase "a hard line in the sand" should definitely be fired.
I work for a large hospital that's part of a larger network. There are definitely married couples here. I know because one of them got screwed with FMLA after the birth of their kid. (If you work for the same company you get 3 months total split between the two parents.)
It would be silly to have a rule that prevented peole of different ranks from dating. There are people working in one area (who might meet, say, through the LGTBQ affinity group) who would never ever be in a position of authority over someone in a different department, even though they are of different ranks in the pecking order.
The rate dropped by a full margin-of-error in one year! A clear trend!
A "hard line in the sand" actually seems like an apt metaphor for many HR (or other corporate) policies.
It could mean "Bold, visible, but easily re-drawn" but it more likely means "like rebar covered up by sand: invisible but will bruise you badly if you inadvertently trip over it."
Employees are only allowed to ask a co-worker out once. If they are turned down, they don't get to ask again.
Obviously, if she says no, you'll have no choice but to pursue a course of self improvement until you are such an attractive potential partner that she asks you out so that you can then turn her down.
Texas must have the shittiest sandboxes.
"Line in the sand" is usually talking about kitty litter?
I thought it was talked about terrible methods of cocaine ingestion.
9 They need more iron in their diet.
The worst method of cocaine ingestion is nasally, after mixing with Horsey Sauce from Arby's.
6 is brilliant. Have I mentioned that I agreed to head up the conduct committee for our DSA chapter and write all relevant policies? Yeah, and it's so not going to get me laid.
Employees are only allowed to ask a co-worker out once. If they are turned down, they don't get to ask again.
My first reaction was that this encourages people to make initial invitation which are not specifically date requests ("I'm going to the movies with friends on Friday. You're invited if you want to join us."). My second thought is that's a good thing and would represent a success for the policy.
If you quit and then came back to work for the same company, could you ask somebody out again? What if you asked them out while you were working for another company? Do you get one more shot or have you already taken it?
16: ha. Here's the immediate next bit from the article:
But real life is never as cut and dried as the scenarios that appear in sexual-harassment training modules."I didn't know if people were asking me out or not," said Anna Wood of her four years working at Google until 2015. Ms. Wood, now the founder and CEO of Brains Over Blonde, a feminist lifestyle platform, recalled finding herself on accidental dates where she thought she was going to happy hour for a drink with a co-worker, but her companion meant it to be a date.
"Brains Over Blonde"?
Maybe the snake people will destroy society?
recalled finding herself on accidental dates where she thought she was going to happy hour for a drink with a co-worker, but her companion meant it to be a date
This is where we need a modern version of the formal Victorian say-it-with-flowers or whatever they did. Like it's not a date if there wasn't an eggplant emoji in the text.
Just keep it simple -- smile at her and if she smiles back you have an hour to ask for her hand in marriage before her reputation is ruined.
If you quit and then came back to work for the same company, could you ask somebody out again? What if you asked them out while you were working for another company? Do you get one more shot or have you already taken it?
First the tax bill incentivizes outsourcing your own job to yourself as a contractor, now all the annoying guys are going to be doing it anyway so they can ask women out.
That's O.K. On the veldt, only males with employer-subsidized health insurance coverage were able to reproduce.
I'm working on the rom-com plot for this -- Tom asks Meg are cow-orkers and he asks her out on date and she says no, because she's involved with jerk. Tom is heartbroken, but plays it cool and they become friends and he helps her get over painful breakup with the jerk, and she starts to fall for him and waits more and more impatiently for him to ask her out again, because she doesn't know about the Policy.
My tangential involvement in this jaw-droppingly awful case just ended, thank fucking god.
I should say, my involvement began and ended on the same day as things were resolved by other people in ways that I wasn't informed of.
Tom asks Meg are cow-orkers and he asks her out on date and she says no, because she's involved with jerk. Tom is heartbroken, but plays it cool and they become friends and he helps her get over painful breakup with the jerk, and she starts to fall for him and waits more and more impatiently for him to ask her out again, because she doesn't know about the Policy.
There's another wrinkle you can add:
Tom asks Meg out, she says no.
Eventually Meg decides that she does like Tom and asks him out. He says no because he's still feeling hurt.
Now neither of them are allowed to ask each-other out so they come up with a scheme which involves getting 2 friends to agree to a scenario in which Tom and Meg each ask out one of the friends, but the friends don't show up for the date leaving Tom and Meg together (bonus points if you can figure out some way for the friends to come up with the plan without Tom and Meg finding out about it).
24: Frustrated, Meg drives away recklessly, crashing into a power pole which results in her getting a shock that stops her heart. Tom comes along after the wreck, restarts her heart with CPR, and asks her out because, having been brought back from the dead, the date-asking counter was reset (because reasons). Explaining this to Meg, she realizes that he loved her all along is about ready to say "yes", but then she noticed that he undid her bra before doing "chest compressions".
Tom is an abusive jerk who always lies. Meg is an honest sweetheart. You can't tell who is who because they're identical, but you're allowed to ask each one out on a date exactly once. Which one is allowed to operate on the boy?!
27, 28: Those are good ideas!
In my version, the jerk winds up owning their company and fires them both, thus freeing Tom to ask her out again. For their first date they go together to apply for unemployment benefits.
I'm vaguely surprised it didn't make more of a nationwide splash. The case is straight out of basically a gruesome YA novel.
That's horrifying. Also surprised I haven't heard of it before, especially as it's just down the road from the mass shooting last year.
I know. I always pictured going up to a window and having Maude dubiously question whether I've been looking for work.
37 to 35, probably.
36: Nearly everything is just down the road from a mass shooting last year.
25: I don't know whether to be shocked or relieved I hadn't heard of this before.
Maybe he her takes out to the soup-kitchen?
36: Well, it predates the shooting by 6+ months. Rumors I've heard is that this has been going on for years and years. I do not understand at all.
Yeah, was just thinking that there's an easy narrative there--something's not right with this one very small corner of Texas--and the media loves easy narratives.
I find it easy to accept that people, especially teenagers, would be so evil as to repeatedly commit such an act, but that the coach looked away is much more incomprehensible to me.
The case is straight out of basically a gruesome YA novel.
Leverage, by Joshua Cohen
Things not dissimilar happened in elite English boarding schools
At my boarding school, I know that boys beat up other boys. I think the amount this was policedvaried by dorm. I didn't ever hear anything about boy on boy rape. I'm quite sure that girls were assaulted.
At my boarding school, I know that boys beat up other boys. I think the amount this was policedvaried by dorm. I didn't ever hear anything about boy on boy rape. I'm quite sure that girls were assaulted.
The Daily Beast has been reporting on the La Vernia stuff for months. (That article is linked from the one in 25 but I also remember reading it at the time.) It's not clear why it hasn't broken through more widely in the media.
First I read 11 and laughed, then I read the link in 25. What is wrong with everybody?
Also, I watched Wind River, based on a recommendation from here. It's good, and I'm glad that I went in without knowing anything about it, but holy shit trigger warnings.
48: I went to university with someone who'd been to an elite boarding school (so elite that I hadn't heard of it until that point) and he explained that new boys were locked inside their empty suitcases, and that suitcases were then left on top of wardrobes or above flights of stairs, until the struggling inside caused them to fall.
At the time, I thought this was quite an amusing prank. With the benefit of some slight degree of emotional maturity, I'm horrified. I'm also amazed that it didn't result in serious injuries (although, given recent stories from all around the world about how institutions operate - hey, maybe it did?)
The one-strike policy does seem to assume that no woman is ever really busy, and so if a woman says she is, she must be lying in order to avoid dating someone. This seems unlikely.
"The group also grappled with the question of when employees who are not each other's managers should disclose a relationship"
How about never? Is never ok for you? Because it's none of your business?
AITIMHMHB, I once worked with a guy who was the nominal team leader in a small specialist team of three people in the commercial software division of a company better known for making missiles. The company rule was that people could not manage their spouses, but the line on dating was less clear. So the conversation went:
"Darling, will you marry me?"
"Oh yes!"
"Darling, that's wonderful. I'm so happy! You're fired."
I think companies need to use a bit of common sense (laughter off) in deciding how to approach these issues. In my own case, Mrs y and I both worked for the same company when we got together, but in completely different roles and a mile apart. We only met in Union meetings until things started. For practical purposes we might as well have been working for different companies. It would have been insane to prevent fraternisation.
What about small towns with effectively only one employer? Do we doom them to extinction?
Sorry, Seeds. Yes, Wind River is definitely *not* for folks who get triggered.
53: I think the point is, that if somebody asked you on a date and you wanted to date them but couldn't make time just then, you could respond with "Yes, but can we wait until next Tuesday" or "Yes, but can I get back to you this afternoon to see when I'm free" instead of "I can't because busy."
56.2: In really small towns, the bigger problem is that dating your cousins is now frowned upon.