Re: Plan

1

I think you make the "but" into a sticker, and then add it to whichever side you choose.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 12:21 PM
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All my troubled sleeping has never once yielded a business card design.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 12:21 PM
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1: but what about the justification? And when the adhesive lost its stickiness, wherewith would it be adhered?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 12:22 PM
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You make two sets of business cards, contained in the two halves of one of those tricksy double-matchbox-type containers.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 12:24 PM
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The real challenge is ensuring that the recipient reads the two sides in order.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 12:24 PM
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You would give it to them with the side intended to be read first face up, of course. I suppose that they might still, as befits an enemy, perversely read the other side first.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 12:26 PM
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This procedure depends too much upon the dexterity of both giver and recipient. The card should rather be placed flat upon the surface of a desk or table, then slid dramatically across it.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 12:31 PM
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8

I've had the same job for nearly 12 years. I don't have any business cards for it. I keep cards from my previous job in my bag because I feel I should have business cards and figure I could cross out and replace what has changed.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 12:34 PM
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9

I'm wary of business cards. I always worry they will culminate in Christian Bale splitting my skull with an axe.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 12:39 PM
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10

That's probably over determined.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 1:49 PM
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11

I'm wary of business cards. I always worry they will culminate in Christian Bale splitting my skull with an axe.

Honestly and for real, that scene provokes an anxiety in me that my business card looks cheap.

Also, for Nosflow, I don't understand why the "but" needs to move. What difference would that make?


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 2:14 PM
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12

If the butt doesn't move, it's white-people dancing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 2:28 PM
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13

There's a clear difference between "we used to be friends / but now we're enemies" and "now we're enemies / but we used to be friends".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 2:40 PM
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14

Add a modern touch with a sound chip for the "we used to be friends" bit.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 3:12 PM
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15

Just set a calendar reminder for 5 years from now. If e-paper is cheap and disposable by then, there's your solution. If not, set a reminder for another 5.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 3:19 PM
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13 - I guess, but if I took a card that said "But now we're enemies," flipped it over, and it said "We used to be friends" it would pretty much have the same meaning as "Now we're enemies"/"But we used to be friends."

I am not convinced this is a serious problem.


Posted by: RH | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 3:22 PM
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13 - I guess, but if I took a card that said "But now we're enemies," flipped it over, and it said "We used to be friends" it would pretty much have the same meaning as "Now we're enemies"/"But we used to be friends."

I am not convinced this is a serious problem.


Posted by: RH | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 3:22 PM
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18

I agree with neb that they're different. "But now we're enemies" has menance; "but we used to be friends" has sorrow.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 3:49 PM
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19

I see 18, but I think the sequence does most of the work. Turning the card over and seeing "We used to be friends" kinda already implies that the but has moved.


Posted by: RH | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 4:01 PM
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20

if I took a card that said "But now we're enemies," flipped it over, and it said "We used to be friends"

OBVIOUSLY you would read the clause beginning with "but" second, you crazy man. The person presenting the card has to present it with the right side up. That's why I wrote 13 the way I did. Sheeeeeeesh.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 4:09 PM
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21

20 is correct.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 4:33 PM
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22

'Enemy' is a pretty odd concept in ordinary human relations. 'But now I don't give two shits about you' would be the more useful card, wouldn't it?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 4:38 PM
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20 - So instead of just chillaxing about what side of the card you present first, your mind goes to needing some kind of magical super-paper or super-letters that can float from one side of the card to the opposite. Time to disrupt the paradigm. Just relax the rule that you have to present the thing with one particular side up that doesn't start with "but" and go have a fucking margarita on the beach. Done and done.


Posted by: RH | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 5:14 PM
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24

Why not just print two types of cards?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 5:31 PM
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25

The only response I can think of to this is an ironic "wow" face, but this isn't Facebook so I'm stuck.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 5:53 PM
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Posted by: | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 6:11 PM
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27

That was me. I was hoping it would display larger.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 6:11 PM
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28

What if the word "but" was printed in those 3D needles so they'd push up to illustrate whichever side was up?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:08 PM
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29

Or a little flap that flips on two prongs to hide or reveal the but as needed?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:09 PM
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30

Temperature-sensitive font? Hypercolor?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:10 PM
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31

Scratch-off? Like a lottery ticket?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:10 PM
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32

Velum paper that overlays with the word "but" on it?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:11 PM
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33

Written in lemon juice; hold to lightbulb to reveal "but" ?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:12 PM
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34

Mirror-writing? Esperanto? Carrier pigeon?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:13 PM
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35

Say the word "but" out loud?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:14 PM
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36

Barbershop quartet?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:14 PM
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37

Maybe Clippy can finally help?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:15 PM
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38

Say it in binary?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:16 PM
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39

Braille?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:16 PM
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40

Chemtrails?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:17 PM
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41

Just moon them?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:18 PM
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42

Semaphore?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:18 PM
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43

Just wink hard?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:19 PM
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44

Use kittens?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:20 PM
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45

Hit them?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:20 PM
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46

Black out the TER on a tub of butter?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:21 PM
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47

With pictographs of a button minus an anvil that's labeled as one ton?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:23 PM
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48

Honk it on a tuba?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:23 PM
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49

Use auto-tune?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:24 PM
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50

Faxmobile? Saxomophone?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:24 PM
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51

Spell it in children?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:25 PM
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52

Hair sculpting? Sand castle?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:26 PM
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53

Pee it into the snow?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:26 PM
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54

Bubble letters? With shadowing?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:27 PM
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55

In red dots on a green dot background to weed out the colorblind?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:28 PM
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56

Forehead tattoo?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:28 PM
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57

Pencil?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:28 PM
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58

Rake into the sand?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:29 PM
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59

Using a connect four game?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:29 PM
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60

Whisper it into the abyss while biting your knuckle to stem the tears?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:30 PM
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61

In a letter to your parents from sleepaway camp?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:31 PM
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62

Aerial ballet dancers spell it in their silk fabrics?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:32 PM
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63

Swallow metal letters so it will show up on an X-ray?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:32 PM
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64

Woven into a Navajo rug?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:33 PM
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65

Etched in glass? Spray painted on a wall?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:33 PM
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66

Incorporated into Pink Floyd lyrics?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:34 PM
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67

Jeopardy answer?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:34 PM
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68

Inside of a dove chocolate wrapper?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:35 PM
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69

File a patent?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:35 PM
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70

Side of a yacht?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:36 PM
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71

Yard sign?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:36 PM
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72

Kudzu?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:36 PM
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73

Write it in sugar water and then when the ants get there you'll have a living "but"?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:37 PM
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74

Using Christmas garlands?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:38 PM
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75

Glue macaroni? Shoelaces?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:38 PM
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76

Fireflies? Sparklers?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:38 PM
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77

Put the letters in water in ice cube trays so that you can drop the cubes in the other person's drink?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:39 PM
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78

Pipe cleaners?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:40 PM
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79

Ransom note?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:40 PM
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80

Forged check?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:40 PM
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81

Spanish?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:41 PM
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82

Caroling?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:41 PM
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83

Rx?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:41 PM
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84

Unfogged comment?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:41 PM
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85

Sub-auditory rumble?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:42 PM
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86

Whale song?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:42 PM
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87

Tap dance?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:43 PM
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88

Something the matter?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:43 PM
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89

Pop song?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:44 PM
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90

Apparently I'm the only one trying to help.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:44 PM
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91

Maybe try a counselor?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:46 PM
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92

I'm assuming Michigan license plates say "Pure Michigan" because otherwise you might buy Michigan on the street and it could be cut with elephant tranquilizers.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 7:58 PM
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93

hot damn. That is how you avoid your kids get to be a FPP, people.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 8:12 PM
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94

By watering down your product? Makes sense I guess.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 8:14 PM
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95

You can just walk to the bar to avoid your kid.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 8:14 PM
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96

Unless you raise a family of bartenders, I guess.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 8:19 PM
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97

If you go at happy hour they'd be too busy to bug you.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 8:25 PM
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98

The next post should be something about the People's Liberation Army Navy.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 8:25 PM
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That could be arranged, if a FPP is awake.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 8:29 PM
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100

Did the ROC get invaded?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 8:33 PM
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I'm awake but I have nothing to say about the People's Liberation Army Navy.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 8:38 PM
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102

Fortunately, the internet provides.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-17-18 9:17 PM
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103

101. Are Chinese people who fly off aircraft carriers the People's Liberation Army Navy Air Force?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 7:03 AM
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104

The ones that shoot rockets are now the PLARF, not to be confused with the PLAAF.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 7:18 AM
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PLARF is a great acronym.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 7:20 AM
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106

I can't say I follow.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 7:55 AM
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107

The full excellence of 103 just hit home now.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 7:56 AM
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108

The People's Liberation Army-Navy is the world's most important sporting event.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 8:55 AM
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109

Just have two sets of cards. Unless you're going to shift the words on the same card for the same person, they're only going to get one card anyway.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 8:55 AM
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103: I wouldn't have thought so, but there is a so-named body.. Aircraft carriers are very new to China so I'm not clear if they're in that role specifically, but it would make sense.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 9:16 AM
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111

One side should say "I hate you" and the other, "After careful consideration"


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 9:20 AM
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112

Does anyone have experience making up and using cards just for themselves as a person? Lots of times I find myself wanting to connect with a person more and being blocked off from it. I can sometimes fbriend them after the fact, but that feels inadequate. Giving physical cards, in person with some kind of verbal exchange, more concretely communicates a desire to keep in touch/do more, and plus is FB-abolition-compatible. But would I just seem like even more of a weirdo?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 9:20 AM
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113

Print a card with a QR code of your FB account.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 9:28 AM
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114

You just have to be careful to remember which corner you fold over to say "my condolences" and which you fold to say "Dinner and a movie and maybe a brief discussion of how we could murder your husband and move to Spain with the life insurance."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 9:30 AM
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115

Did heebie just win the gold medal for serial commenting? When is the medal ceremony?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 9:59 AM
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116

Not so fast, Veith.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 10:16 AM
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117

112: At least according to Victorian novels, personal cards with just your name (and aristocratic title, if applicable) used to be common. I'm not sure when the practice died out. You could be a trend setter in bringing it back.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 10:46 AM
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118

Quoth Wikipedia (correctly if memory serves):

According to Debrett's Handbook in 2016, a gentleman's card would traditionally give his title, rank, private or service address (bottom left) and club (bottom right) in addition to his name. Titles of peers are given with no prefix (e.g. simply "Duke of Wellington"), courtesy titles are similarly given as "Lord John Smith", etc., but "Hon" (for "the Honourable") are not used (Mr, Ms, etc. being used instead). Those without titles of nobility or courtesy titles may use ecclesiastical titles, military ranks, "Professor" or "Dr", or Mr, Ms, etc. For archbishops, bishops, deans and archdeacons, the territorial title is used (e.g. "The Bishop of London"). Men may use their forenames or initials, while a married or widowed woman may either use her husband's name (the traditional usage) or her own. The only post-nominal letters used are those indicating membership of the armed forces (e.g. "Captain J. Smith, RN"). The Social Card, which is a modern version of the visiting card, features a person's name, mobile phone number, and email address, with an optional residential address rarely included; family social cards include the names of parents and children

I have to say that the Social Card as a modern version is new to me. Anybody ever seen one?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 11:16 AM
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119

111 is a good idea. I knew ogged would come through.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 11:30 AM
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120

I've always wanted to send an invite on small cards that just say "Robert Halford is AT HOME" but it would confuse people w/out explanation and if you explain what's the point.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 12:55 PM
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121

Huh, a Google suggests that the British still use "at home" toninvite people. Can that possibly be true?


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 12:58 PM
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re: 121

Never heard anyone use it seriously. Ever.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 1:19 PM
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122 -- that's good to know. I got that idea from this site which will apparently still print your "at Home" cards. One is from the "The High Sheriff of Lancashire." Maybe if you have some weird old formal British ceremonial position maybe you need weird old formal invitation cards, so there's a small market.

If only the High Sheriff of Lancashire lurked here we could know for sure.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 1:38 PM
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I spent six months in Lancashire without ever once meeting a high sheriff.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 1:58 PM
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124 - According to Walt Disney, they are anthropromorphic obese gray wolves that have Southern hillbilly accents. Hard to miss, I'd think.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 2:12 PM
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A college roommate actually gave out social cards. They were passed off as a joke, but he probably hoped women would actually take him up on it and show up at our apartment. As far as I know, they never did, though a few probably did call.


Posted by: F | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 2:20 PM
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124: did you check all 4000 holes?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 2:21 PM
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128

I'm such a gentleman that I would need two decades for that.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 2:31 PM
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129

Modern social cards could include your level, hit points, armor class, and how many experience points you're worth.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 2:33 PM
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130

Borrow the font from Angels and Demons's illustrations.


Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 3:12 PM
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131

The father-in-law of a former colleague of mine served a term as the High Sheriff of Merseyside nearly 20 years ago. I bet he had cards.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 4:48 PM
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I've never been to Merseyside.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 5:48 PM
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133

Never heard anyone use it seriously. Ever.

I'm pretty sure I've heard the fuller "at home to visitors" but maybe only in a semi-quotative way.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-18-18 11:30 PM
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Modern social cards could include your level, hit points, armor class, and how many experience points you're worth.

It's always a depressing experience to try to work out what D&D character class most closely matches your actual job and conclude that you're almost certainly a Bard.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-19-18 3:41 AM
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121. My mother, who would be 92 if she was still alive, used to use "at home" in audible irony quotes to describe their habit of telling their friends to drop in at their own convenience on a specified afternoon over the Christmas break. Not strictly a party, people would turn up, take a drink and chat for an hour or so and then go and do something else. I don't really know what the appropriate term would be. "Open house", maybe?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02-19-18 4:11 AM
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135: My family occasionally does that for Christmas. Also called "open house", but very informally.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 02-19-18 4:14 AM
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Here "Open House" means a realtor sits in your house on a Sunday afternoon and neighbors with no intention of buying your house can go see how bad your taste in decorating is.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-19-18 7:30 AM
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my brother made cards like that with nothing but his name, which are visiting cards, I guess. he would write his number on the back. they were pretty swag, actually.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 02-21-18 12:00 AM
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In a moment of insanity aged 11, I made myself visiting cards in preparation for my first day at secondary school. I didn't have a job, obviously, so I just put "Pupil".


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02-21-18 9:21 AM
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139: I could not possibly approve more.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 02-21-18 9:33 PM
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