Obligatory ABOFL link.

This kind of app should be really helpful for people who expect that everybody they have sex with will have reason to hate them afterward.

That could also have been the Monty Python classroom sex ed skit.

RTFA.

I listened to a couple of episodes of that podcast and sometimes felt like she was great, sometimes felt like she was overreaching, and sometimes thought "this is an absurd setup--nothing happens or can happen in a first therapy session, so what are we even talking about?"

I am kind of shopping around for podcasts since my two main ones are You Must Remember This, which hasn't had a new episode in ages (and then it was a boring miniseries about Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi) and Sewers of Paris which is sometimes completely boring. I listened to one called Gravy last night that was fun, but I specifically chose an episode about Austin (and Armadillo World Headquarters, an Austin history thing I knew nothing about) and don't know if I'll be as interested by other stuff.

As I have no doubt said here and everywhere before, I remember hearing people say "my therapist really calls me out on my shit" now and then and thinking "your therapist is not your sassy friend." But that's only one way of being hands-on.

In Our Time is maybe the worthiest possible podcast -- panel of academics discusses something improving -- but I find it reliably entertaining-ish.

I have listened to In Our Time episodes that I found fascinating and ones that put me to sleep. I guess there are enough of them that I could pick and choose.

I recently discovered Life of the Law. Only listened to the first two episodes so far, but they were both engaging and relevant topics (jury nullification; jailhouse lawyering), plus they avoided stretching the topic out over more time than they had material for: both about 15 minutes. Recent episodes appear longer.

I love In Our Time and also You Must Remember This. May I recommend the Arms Control Wonk podcast? It's certainly topical.

Preet Bharaha's Stay Tuned? It's a little irritatingly centrist/prosecutor-friendly, but it's a nice left-of-center take on current political events from someone with insidery legal knowledge. And he's got a pleasantly soothing voice.

I want mildly intellectual escapism. Really I wish I could find something else like You Must Remember This.

Pretty sure I've recommended this before, but I ADORE Backlisted, put out by the Unbound publishing folks. Listen to the episode on Anita Loos and I defy you resist getting hooked. One of the hosts reads two poems the second of which caused me to lose all awareness of the rest of the world. Of course some episodes aren't really a roaring success, but the hit rate is so so high. Am saving up 2 most recent episodes for my birthday treat walks to and from work tomorrow. 😍

Talking Politics with D Runciman and *especially* Helen Thompson is interesting, even when I don't agree. They really need to either tackle race in US politics or shut up about US politics, but on UK, EU and internal European politics they are pretty consistently interesting.

Trump, Inc., is usually pretty good, and I especially adore the main sponsorship ad. So perfect, kind of hard to believe it's not trolling.

Oh Monsieur Smearcase, i bet you would really love Backlisted!

Oh, that sounds good. I'll check it out.

The blockchain consent thing makes a lot of sense. I mean, who doesn't want to create a permanent public electronic record of everyone they've agreed to fuck?

5 last: There's more to it that can be readily inferred from London Homesick Blues?

I don't even have a sassy friend who calls me out on my shit.

I don't have that or a therapist. I think my policy of never communicating any honest information about my interior mental state would make it fairly wasteful.

I don't have a therapist at the moment.

I have a facetime appointment with my therapist in 20 minutes. he's pretty hands-on. less so through facetime obviously. no, for real he's meddle-y, it's excellent. "are you sure you didn't actually do thing x for reason y?" oh shit, busted.

I feel like maybe I'm not getting as much out of therapy as I could be, but I'm really hesitant to switch therapists. I don't like to do it anyway, and right now I have a lot of stressful work-related stuff happening, so it feels like it would be switching horses midstream. Also, the last thing I wanted to do is find another one and go through another intake process and tell everyone my whole long fucking story. Blech.

if you feel at all iffy about your therapist then you probably need a new therapist, time-wasty as it seems to go through all your shit again at the beginning. you should definitely be thinking, "wow, my therapist is good at her job." I learned this the very, very hard way.

My relationship with my therapist has evolved to where he's kind of my rent-a-friend. Available for deep stuff on occasion, but in no small part substituting for not really having a social life with actual friends in it.

God I'm depressed. I should probably go back to my insightful, hands-on therapist but we would just end up at a the same place: brainstorming strategies for me to change my self-destructive behavior that I then completely fail to implement.

25: More importantly, how are your pets??

My therapist is good. I guess he calls me on my shit if telling me to be nicer to myself counts, but I don't generally think that's what people mean.

My dog tore his ACL, which has really put a damper on our squirrel chasing.

Oh no!!! No wonder you're depressed! How long will the healing process take?

I didn't opt for surgery because he's still pretty functional and I wasn't impressed with the reported results of the stifle "repair". I might also be biased because I never got mine* repaired and have had no problems. I worry constantly that I made the wrong choice but so far he's doing okay.
*Weak knee ligaments run in my family, apparently.

7 and 8: I enjoy Start the Week on Radio 4. The Food Programme is also good.

I need to broaden my repertoire a bit though.

Repertoire is really the wrong word there. It's too early in the morning.

My shrink can be kind of hands off when he's listening to sad stuff, but he knows me very well.

I think couples thereapy has to require a different sort of dance and lends itself to a more interventional style.

29: I don't know about dog knees, but for people knees, the long-term evidence usually supports not having surgery.

And there I thought I was a medical marvel.

Like Dr. Strange?

In that I don't have a future as a brain surgeon, yes.

I don't actually know anything about Dr. Strange except that he looks like Sherlock.

I mean yes, a therapist should note one's shit and call one thereupon if that means pointing out maladaptive patterns in a therapeutically appropriate way, after an appropriate period of establishing a therapeutic alliance. But "my therapist calls me on my shit" always sounds to me like the therapist is like "oh, gurl, no."

I'd love a therapist but Kaiser. I may actually give in and do some of their little psycho-ed groups like "Anger: Why It is Bad" or whatever at some point soon. "Anxiety: It's Why You Hate Everything." "Depression: Lying In Bed is Great But Come The Fuck On."

Lying in Bed: You don't have Brian Wilson's money.

I feel like I can't go to a therapist in the capacity I'd like to, which is as advice/research-ish. Like, "I'd like your input and insight into this situation because I think it's interesting to ponder and develop, but I'm not actually anxious or upset about it." But that feels like a true waste of their time. I guess I just want a smart, insightful friend, but I'd love to dive into the weeds about truly boring shit, and I'm self-aware enough not to do that to my friends.

40: You pay them for their time, Heebie. Good thing you don't live in enlightened topless Europe!

But I can't/won't pay $150/hour or whatever I'd have to pay without insurance, and using insurance actually does feel inappropriate.

Can you claim without compromising your use of insurance for more pressing needs? Because if you can, fuck insurance companies.

Of course, the therapist isn't netting that amount. You need to find one that will work under the table for cash. Probably be less than half of that.

I should indeed look into the anger group, he typed gingerly, having bruised his wrist hitting a car that cut him off in a crosswalk.

I'd love a therapist but Kaiser.

My own shrink has been my doctor since he was a resident and has kept me on, because he needed a training case.

What I'd love to find is a couples therapist who took ANY insurance. (I could go to a clinic at the hospital where Tim has a PCP, but since that is also where I work, I'd rather not.)

I have one of the best insurance plans in the state! It's crazy awful.

I wonder if that's because it's hard to pin a diagnosis to couples' counseling.

45: Or just work on your hitting.

47: I don't know how that works, but they do that in clinics. It's also really damn hard to find any therapists who take insurance. You have Medicaid clinics which offer rehab-type stuff and hospital-based clinics exist (because almost all the medical doctors are employees of physicians organizations affiliated with hospitals) but their availability is limited.

Basically, insurance companies don't pay enough, so there's a shortage of therapists. People will use their out-of-network benefit. Those are getting stingier and stingier, because they have high deductibles and pay only a portion of the actual fee. So a therapist charges $150 but their rate is $100 for a psychologist, and you get 70% coverage ($70) but your still on the hook for $80 and that's after you pay your deductible. I have great insurance but my out-of-network deductible is $1,000.00. I would have to pay $1500 (10 visits which the insurer values at $100 each) before anything got covered.

There are a fair number of people here who have money and just pay cash. It's totally understandable that the mental health providers choose to do this, but it really stinks.

Now, if I could find somebody in-network my co-pay would be only $15.

My medical network is also pretty restricted, but it's not as big of a deal. Basically, I pay one rate if I go to one of the hospitals affiliated with my employer and a lot more if I go to my insurer's general network. I'm pretty lucky compared to a lot of people, but I'd still love to have single payer.

Also a flu shot is covered in a doctor's office but not at a pharmacy! Minor but silly. I got one at work, but Tim had to schedule an appointment.

Anyway, I say "I punched a car" but what I mean is that I slapped it with the palm side of my open hand. This keeps you hand from getting hurt and makes more noise to startle and offend the person inside the car.

Back when I was Mr Angry Face I learned it's startlingly easy to leave knuckle dents in a whiteboard.

That's weak sauce. If you want to mess up a whiteboard, secretly replace the dry erase markers with sharpies and let somebody else get the blame.

but what I mean is that I slapped it with the palm side of my open hand.

This is what I did. I sort of bruised my wrist a little, because honestly I hit it pretty hard. It hurt quite a bit but at least I had the satisfaction of an expression of anger that made no impression whatsoever on the stupid person in the car. Yeah so the anger thing. I have a book on it.

I definitely got the impression at some point that therapists in NYC who took insurance were often not the cream of the crop. There really are enough people in NYC that can and will pay $150+/hr out of pocket that why would you sign on for a fuckton of paperwork when you could just keep your own notes and deposit a lot of checks? I mean the answer is that being in-network helps you get clients. But if you've figured out the getting-clients part of the therapist racket otherwise, it's hard to imagine any reason to take insurance.

If you wear a ring, it might scratch the car.

I'm gonna need a sharper ring.

I have on more than one occasion wondered how quickly I could get my keys out. Nope nope no anger problems here.

One time, I kicked a car that came close to hitting my son and I when we were crossing the street. We had the light and he was turning. A bartender who knows me saw it, but didn't mention it to me when I next saw him. Anyway, the guy got out of his car to check for damage but I kept walking.

55: Some people do the billing with codes so that you can submit for out of network benefit. I'm really low-fee, so I don't know what he charges other people. He works part-time at a hospital and I have the impression that he charges a lower rate so that he can get interesting patients and AVOID the paperwork.

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