My condolences.
Also, probably heroin if nobody says anything.
I don't want your condolences, I want you to tell me what happened.
Ugh, I suppose I don't know enough about either person I have in mind to completely rule it out.
There's no good answer, is there.
2: Apparently somebody died. But that's just a guess.
Anyway, cause of death is not missing at random.
How much about David Carradine's death do you really want to know?
You were there and never mentioned it before!
In my youth, as a writer of obituaries for a newspaper, we always reported the cause of death when we had it -- and when we didn't have it, we tried to get it. Nowadays, the newspaper doesn't assign an editorial staffer to do obituaries. It's now a function of advertising. People pay for obits, and they can say (or not say) whatever the hell they want.
At one point, the top editor decided that for all car accidents, we would say in the obit whether the person was wearing a seatbelt. One disgruntled staffer (okay, it was me) wanted to know: "When someone dies of lung cancer, are we going to report whether they smoked?"
Just realized heebie has a good slate pitch -- the problem with society today is too much privacy!
"...is survived by his wife, two children, and the bold flavor of Winston cigarettes."
6: Sometimes it fucking is though, and it's baffling. A well-known youngish dude in the avant-garde music world died a couple months ago, and all the news about it omitted any mention of the reason in a way that seemed really conspicuous to me--I admit that I simply assumed it was suicide. It turned out he'd died in his sleep of a heart condition he'd had for 10 years or more, but it was probably a week after his death that I saw this mentioned for the first time. I can't imagine how many people leaped to the same unwarranted conclusion I did.
12: Death is a touchy subject.* It's interesting to me that you chose to omit the artist's name.
*Maybe people are reluctant to talk about events that require them to stop masturbating.
As long as I'm complaining: this fucking doctor always runs 1-2 hours late (and reschedules appointments multiple times.) This time when they rescheduled, the secretary said "Call us an hour before your appt and we'll tell you how late he's running." I thought this was awesome. I did call and they said, "he's only running 30 min late, and he's got a 45 minute buffer before you, so go ahead and show up on time."
I've been waiting for one hour so far.
Or he is on his autoerotic asphyxiation break.
Since that last comment, I've spent a full half hour waiting nekkid in the room, with a sheet. The fact that they make you sit naked for so long here makes me berserk. Just keep me in the waiting room!
The doctor probably died from accidental asphyxiation. Have some sympathy.
There's no way to know for certain what happened, but those are the short odds.
Maybe if you shriek "WHAT HAPPENED?!" every time he's late he'll start making an effort.
Stiiiiiillllll waaaaaaitiiiing.
At least you're not the staff member trying to decide whether or not to try to put pants on him before calling the police.
Can you try to think about this in a different way? The doctor is giving you the gift of time without any obligations. Time to let your mind soar! Time to post petty complaints on a blog!
Posting petty complaints on the internet is really more of a job. The unpaid kind.
Standpipe sends me a check. Not you?
FPPs get a share of the revenues instead.
Got here at 2:15. Naked since 3:15. Doc came in at 4:30. Now I'm done at 4:40. Seems about right.
The receptionist who'd told me he was on time felt so bad. His staff is super nice as they frantically try to clean up after him.
He must have cameras in the exam rooms.
There's probably a billing code and "Patient Not Wearing Pants" gets reimbursed at a higher rate.
FWIW, Heebie, I'd be furious. That is a ridiculous amount of time to be late, and to keep you naked in the waiting room.
My orthopedist kept me waiting three hours and the whole time the staff was intentionally vague implying it was just going to be 10 minutes or something. I switched orthopedists. Because that is ridiculous. Tell me to come back after lunch if you're two hours behind. I can do that. My office is 10 minutes away - I had much better stuff to do than sit looking at the (other) old gimpy people for three hours.
Apologies, but back to the topic in the OP:
"He died from injuries suffered in an attack by an irate patient who had been waiting naked for him for over two hours." Which would answer Heebie's desire to know cause of death while possibly raising a few additional questions.
Alternatively, to blend posts:
"She died after being struck in the head with her camera by an exhibitionist who objected to having his picture taken without his permission."
Is it considered rude just to quietly ask family members at the funeral: "what happened?" I feel like this is fairly common. And I don't think generally considers rude?
Semi-on-topic WRT to agreed-upon euphemisms:
I grew up in a place with no grade-level rail crossings, and no train tracks that were in areas where it would be more convenient to walk along the tracks than to use a path, road, or other mechanism. As a result, I always assumed when a newspaper reported that someone had died "while walking along the rail tracks," it was someone who had died by suicide.
Then I got a job that involved travel, and I realized just how many places in the US have places where it is semi-understandable, if still wildly stupid, to walk along the rail tracks.
I still yell at strangers if I see them walking along train tracks, though.
I also find it sort of irritating who gets protection in a news story and who doesn't. A few years ago a well-off white guy who was "celebrating his anniversary" by renting a high-speed sports car died in a crash. The news story conspicuously did not mention that the street where he died, at 3 or 4 a.m., is infamous for drag racing.
I don't really care that the newspaper protected his privacy. I do care that they don't do the same for young black kids who die in equally stupid ways.
Then I got a job that involved travel, and I realized just how many places in the US have places where it is semi-understandable, if still wildly stupid, to walk along the rail tracks.
It's ambiguous in Heebieville. It either means suicide or that they were very drunk and passed out.
37: I'd probably do so, but I'm not going to either of these funerals. One was a former student, and one is the sister of a close friend from college (and the sister is someone I knew in college and was FB friends with). I did find out through backchannels about the student, and I assume I'll hear at some point about the sister, but both were very big shocks.
Related what happened problem: College alumni magazine reports that two female classmates had a baby together. Name of baby and date of birth stated. Not stated: Which had the baby.
Maybe that was private information? Everyone who knew them IRL knew. Maybe the happy couple, or the alumni notes editors, were making a political statement by following the format of cis couple baby announcements. Maybe the couple provided full information but the editors hadn't thought about whether to vary the regular format. Maybe I'm a troglodyte for wanting to know. Scratch the last maybe.
I have a cousin who died suddenly, and shockingly, at the age of 39. And her mother refused to release any of the details re: the cause of death: it was all very hush-hush, and we weren't supposed to ask, and we weren't exactly invited to attend the funeral, either (though some of my aunts did attend, because they always do the wake and the funeral, that's just how they roll).
And because this cousin had struggled with depression throughout her life, the secrecy only fueled all kinds of speculation. Maybe she had committed suicide? Perhaps she had died of a drug overdose?
Turns out she died of a heart attack (at the age of 39!?), after years of anorexia and bulimia (yeah, this actually happens...some eating disorders can actually be fatal). I think her mother did a grave disservice to her memory, in attempting to hide the cause of her untimely demise.
Recently a friend died while abroad on vacation. He was single (no spouse or offspring) in his late 40s and in good health. No explanation was given, so some people at the visitation suggested it was a suicide and asked each other what was known. I knew nothing and the family didn't make the cause public. Heck, they didn't even put together a death notice beyond dates of birth and death. It wasn't like he lacked accomplishments or friends. Frankly, the way it was all handled irritates me.
42: How fancy was your college? Maybe they had a surrogate?
I had a FB friend from high school who died, cause of death never reported publicly, and the only way I knew was that people started posting things to her wall that were initially ambiguous (your family will always love you) until it was pretty obvious (now you're with the angels) although I had to assume she didn't join a professional sports team of that name.
I always want to know what happened, too. I wonder whether part of the problem is that we don't generally list cause of death in obituaries (other than perhaps long/short illness) written by the family. I was trying to think how I see causes of death worded, and it's usually something along the lines of "lost their struggle against [$disease]. I can't think of a typical format for suicide or addition, but I can't even think of one that implies "sudden heart attack." Also, I think the authors understandably prioritize what they want people to know about the deceased and what the deceased might want ("great fisherman, loving father"), plus survivors, which takes up a good bit of space.
Then, there are some where I don't know how you might word it. A double in-law sort-of relative's brother just died (some one I had never met). The relarive who told me explained that he had stopped breathing one night, and his fiancée found him. The hospital was unable to revive him, other than as a vegetable, so his family donated all his organs and turned off the ventilator. He was apparently taking medications where it's an unlikely but known risk. He also apparently was an alcoholic and sometimes drug addict, which may or may not have contributed. I think maybe they're getting toxicology reports, but they've already published the obit and held the funeral. Sometimes "long illness" is most apt rather than a real euphemism because at the end, it is someone who is old and frail and losing weight and eventually has a stroke/heart attack/something that is the proximal cause of death, but maybe not quite the only one.
For nosiness reasons, I usually look at the "in lieu of flowers" for a clue, since many folks will select at least one that gives away the cause of death.
My dad died of St. Vincent de Paul.
There are codes in British newspaper obituaries: "a short illness" means a heart attack; "a long illness", usually, cancer.
See also "He never married"
What is the minimum level of detail that lends itself to emotional closure? I'm thinking, illness, accident, or violence, perhaps deliberately masking the distinction of violence by self vs by other.
Wasn't there a book of obituaries whose reviews explained some of the more abstruse euphemisms?
The explanatory list I was thinking of was on a QI episode, almost certainly elsewhere too.
I have to say that I don't really care what celebs die of, unless it's something really weird like Anton Webern. On the other hand, when people I know stick their spoon in the wall I usually know why, or can phone somebody to find out. So the range of people I feel like Heebie about is quite narrow. But I think peep is right at 10 that if family and friends don't want to publicise cause of death ("exsanguinated after shredding his testes in a food processor, apparently in the context of a sex act with a Himalayan langur") they should have a reasonable expectation of privacy and we should just suck it up. I would love to trace minivet's book in 55 tho.
It might have been a Massingberd collection.
"exsanguinated after shredding his testes in a food processor, apparently in the context of a sex act with a Himalayan langur"
In that case, I think it would be a crime not to share.
There is a general weirdness about current privacy discourse -- people keep on talking about 'privacy' as if it's self-evidently applicable to things they do. Since the advent of the death certificate all deaths have by definition been public matters, so I'm with anyone taking the position that if you die, it's all right for anyone to be nosy about it.
60. It's fine for people to be nosy about it, but it's also fine for people close to the deceased to say, "Well if you care that much go and look at the death certificate."
61: It's fine for people to take comments at face value in good faith, but it's also fine for people to make ill-executed cross-thread jokes in bad.
"Herbert formed a habit of addition in grade school, which he retained with no visible consequences until a late-night binge on three-digit numbers proved too much for his weakened heart." [to 47]
60 Just to complete the thread collision, how about nude photos of the corpses?
That's disgusting. Get a grip, man.
Partially clothed then? Say in bondage gear?
If the family includes that in the tomb brass. Otherwise no.
People still die of AIDS and you NEVER see that listed in an obit. Well I never do.
Everyone wants to be like Roy Cohn.
A worthy of the church I grew up in just died of stage 4 lung cancer on Thursday, after getting the diagnosis on Monday. So there's another benefit of transparency: if your death is lurid or improbable, you'll be memorialized to sarcastic internet people all over the world.
Easy way to get your own Wikipedia entry.
Join the Space Force.
Aggressively attack vending machine that didn't drop your Twix.
Become first Space Force fatality when crushed by machine.
60 -- There are states that redact cause of death on certificates given out to the public. I only know this because Florida mistakenly failed to redact the certificate for my grandmother they sent me, and I learned that she'd basically died of an illegal abortion. This is not the story my dad and his siblings were told, or the aunt and uncle that took in the soon to be completely orphaned kids.