Re: Of Mario Kart mushrooms and Manafort

1

There once was an orange piece of shit
Many playmates he did like to hit
In Stormy's bedroom
She saw his short shroom
And laughed, "there's not that much to it!"


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 4:07 PM
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2

Fuck you, clowns.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 4:27 PM
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3

Shape aside, wouldn't the red dots scare away most people?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 5:25 PM
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4

As Toad says, frequently, in Mario Kart 64: "I'm the best!"


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 5:46 PM
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5

Anyway, Mario Kart is a great series, and I'm glad it's getting totally unexpected attention on the national political stage, a reminder that video games are for everyone, not just manchild dipshits. Mario Kart is good clean fun, and it does its best to handicap the best players in real time so that everyone has a shot at winning. It's the Harrison Bergeron of games.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 5:48 PM
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6

We have it on the Wii.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 5:59 PM
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7

It's someone's job today to explain to Trump what Mario Kart is and that may involve a picture of Toad (he's a visual learner). I try not to take pleasure in the misery of others, but some days are easier than others.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 7:20 PM
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8

I thought it went pretty well until he asked me how to say "Princess Peach" in Russian


Posted by: Opinionated Paul Ryan | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 7:41 PM
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9

It's a shame that Stormy Daniels passed on the opportunity to name the book Toadal Recall.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 7:45 PM
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10

A man, a fort, a cabal: Donetsk!


Posted by: lourdes kayak | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 7:58 PM
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11

My kid loves Mario Kart and hates Trump and if he ever hears this story its going to traumatize him. As it should. Won't somebody think of the children?


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 8:36 PM
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12

8: Wait until you see the Toadette/Princess Peach theories that came out of the last Nintendo Direct.

As long as we're talking video games, or at least I'm talking video games, I picked up Celeste a few days ago and it is kicking my ass. Great puzzle platformer, if a bit stressful.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 9:06 PM
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13

That game looks really cool.

We've been playing a lot of Mario Tennis lately. I suck.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09-18-18 10:51 PM
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14

Higgledy piggledy
Mushroom from Mario
Most unexpected gets
New lease of life:

"Though all publicity's
Highly desirable
I dread the reaction
I'll get from my wife".


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 09-19-18 1:40 AM
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15


well boss i met
mehitabel the cat
who between the two of us has not been enjoying the last couple of years
she has been holed up in the hay barn
in order to avoid being grabbed
with impunity

which apparently she now assesses as being a real threat
what with one thing and another

anyway
her mood was much improved
you'll be happy to hear
since reading the excerpts from full disclosure
which she says should be called full exposure
in order to give the reader fair warning
of the shit you're going to come across when you start reading

if i had hair boss
it would be standing on end
i am not kidding

anyway
she has been enjoying a bit of schadenfreude
and i don't blame her
the problem is
larry the mushroom
is frankly incensed
(that isn't a seasonal pun boss it's the wrong time of year)
at being dragged into the whole sordid business
even peripherally
he has always been a respectable basidiomycote
he says
i managed to calm him down
eventually

but frankly boss
i am at my wits' end
trying to think how to mollify
clara the yeti

all suggestions welcome
thanks
archy


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-19-18 1:47 AM
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16

I guess most of us always figured that when civilisation entered its terminal eclipse
Or apocalypse
The constant struggle of all against all would at least in part be compensated
By the dawn of the kind of post-apocalyptic Halfordismic lifestyle that some of us at least have always eagerly anticipated;
But I'm not sure any of us would have welcomed the Decline and Fall of the American Republic if we'd known that instead of getting the erratic but at least entertaining regime of Lord Humungous,
We'd have to consider the resemblance of certain bits of our autocratic leader to some sort of fungus.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 09-19-18 1:53 AM
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17

That is marvelous. I am 99% sure that it's supposed to riff on Fire and Ice and yet I'm writing it just to confirm that I didn't make that up.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-19-18 8:06 AM
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18

Not consciously - I was going for an Ogden Nash thing...


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-19-18 8:30 AM
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19

16 is very good.

Talking of Mushrooms and Manafort, does anyone else remember the similarly-scanned "Man ass and methedrine" - a song that I am sure someone wrote after the downfall of some family values politician or preacher in Colorado? Google seems to know nothing of it, but I have a clear memory of the song becoming an earworm that lasted *weeks*.


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 09-20-18 2:32 AM
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19: Meth and Man Ass. Blog post where he (singer named Paul Hipp) introduced it. It was inspired by Ted Haggard.

GIVE ME METH AND MAN ASS ON A SUNDAY MORNING
METH AND MAN ASS SURE AS I AM BORN AGAIN
METH AND MAN ASS I DON'T NEED NOTHING MORE
JUST METH AND MAN ASS AND WE'LL PRAISE THE LORD
...
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TURN THE OTHER CHEEK
I'LL GO ON LARRY KING AND TELL HIM "LARRY, I WAS WEAK"
DELIVER ME FROM EVIL AND DELIVER ME FROM GREED
DELIVER ME A HOT STUD AND A COUPLE GRAMS OF SPEED


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09-20-18 9:37 AM
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God bless you, Stormcrow, with as much meth and man ass as your heart could desire


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 09-21-18 10:10 AM
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Posted by: Rodolfo | Link to this comment | 10-21-19 2:49 AM
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