I think maybe you'd die if you had no body fat except on your boobs.

I don't even HAVE all the body parts I'm supposed to have.

I guess you can't ski then.

You all ski with your boobs?!

I've never seen enough snow to try.

As long as you've seen a violin.

I'm reminded of this appalling signage for a juice bar in Pasadena, CA, last year, just a few blocks from our apartment. I don't think it stayed up long, but like heebie, we were initially seriously confused about how the advertising mechanics were supposed to work.

I assume they just masturbate into the cup.

What. That is...revolting. Come drink our splooge juice!

They spice their juice with cumin.

Welcome to America. Try the skiing, but avoid the juice and the marketing people.

7. That tree looks unhealhthy

I think that a lot of advertising is just trying for any kind of attention to get a brand name or storefront noticed briefly. The modal advertisee will forget being disgusted but remember the name/place.

I wish I were skinnier with bigger tits is one thought I have truly never had while spending a winter day outside.

If you give me a picture of Sonny Bono and a good graphic designer, I bet I could make a much more tasteless ad for a ski slope.

That tree looks unhealhthy

Oh, come on.

Is anybody else thinking of Ned Flanders's spandex-clad butt on the ski slope?

9: "Come drink our splooge juice!" would have been clearer! As is, I think it reads like they're inviting patrons to splooge in the shop's juice, which fine, fair enough, but I still don't see how it sells them more smoothies. Who is the intended audience, and what is the mechanism according to which that audience buys more $10 blended drinks from this store? (On preview, I see that 12.2 is a good point, and my own memory of the sign is its proof.)

17.last But would you drink their juice?

18: So far, evidence says no, both for me and my even-more-horrified spouse, but who knows? Maybe one of you reprobates will be inspired by my link and their campaign will have worked indirectly.

Also, I'm a little shocked to learn that this is a chain with ten-plus outposts. I had assumed it was a one-off.

Well, now you know how they reproduce.

*applause*

I've always wondered how places that just sell juice can stay in business. I guess the answer is the same as when my question was about how strip mall massage places stayed in business.

I don't think I'll make it out west anytime soon, but I should try to ski sometime this winter.

There's a new restaurant in uptown Oakland whose opening advertising heavily promoted a sandwich with the name Baconslut. (So much that one might have thought it was the restaurant name, though it's not.)

advertising heavily promoted a sandwich with the name Baconslut

Hey! How many other people have eaten this sandwich!?

I haven't seen it. I suspect it may be in the other Oakland.

So slut-shaming is wrong but bacon-shaming is ok? It's so hard to keep up.

Hey! How many other people have eaten this sandwich!?

When you eat a sandwich, you eat everyone that that sandwich has ever eaten.

That's why only vegetarians don't worry about bestiality.

Moby, you possibly have been misled as to the usage of sandwiches.

Implying some ill-defined objectification of women to encourage straight dudes to stuff a bunch of bacon in their own mouths? I think I'm okay with that. They could also call it "That's What She Ate."

Are they slut-shaming the poor pig?

The pig should not have been wearing all that lipstick.

Can I change my pseudonym to Hypersensitive Scowling Whiny Chick? (Or was that already implied?)

DK!!!

Let me be the first to suggest "J.D. Rutgers-Camden".

Anyway, I think OP.last is probably right and probably evidence of some kind of progress.

But, how is skiing going to help somebody else weight anyway? It's just falling with a diversion.

Am I the only person who sees this squarely and unambiguously aimed at attracting straight men to ogle titties? FAT BOOBS (F-)OUT is the message in the capitalized text, which to me reads straightforwardly as "WATCH GIANT TITS HERE." This makes far more sense as an ad than the purported text of weight loss. The offensiveness isn't really related to body image of women but to the idea that women do sports for the sexualized male gaze.

It's nice to see DK around again.

Buttercup ain't bad either.

39 I'm not sure the ad guys thought any further than the attention getting impact of shouting Boobs!

Shouting penis is traditional.

When I skied, I usually just kept shouting "Excuse me!"

26: from "what we do in the shadows":
deacon: I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.
vladislav: I think of it like this. if you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.

39: speaking as a straight man, I really don't think straight men are drawn to downhill skiing by the prospect of seeing women's breasts. Women tend not to ski in the nude. Or in bikinis. In fact they're generally pretty heavily clad. The reason being, skiing requires snow, the frozen form of water, which only exists at temperatures below 273 K. Down jackets, parkas, big sweaters and so on leave practically everything to the imagination from an ogling point of view.

In fact, I think skiing is pretty much the worst conceivable sport from an ogling point of view. The participants are a long way off (unlike, say, a stadium sport), heavily clad in bulky, shapeless clothes, and moving fast.

Orienteering?

Participants are more lightly clad in orienteering. T-shirt and shorts, leggings, that sort of thing. Much more ogle-able.

Here's the first female result for an image search on "skier"
http://iosteopath.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Skier.jpg

and for an image search on "orienteer"
https://dlabaja.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/05439-vtip1.gif

You see what I mean?

I'm thinking the orienteers are less often visible to spectators.

We saw some good-looking guys skiing topless in Cortina a couple of years ago (it was 14ºC on the lower slopes and the snow-making machines were working overtime). Who knows, the combination of global warming and technology might make beach/skiwear crossovers entirely appropriate.

Now cross-country skiing, that's an entirely different thing, as we have discussed here before.

Because there's no lift.

51: If that's a criteria, the least ogleable sport would be the "how not to be seen" championships.

Formula 1, I suppose, as the drivers are not only moving even faster, but almost entirely encased in car.

That's probably a fetish.

I can't understand why anyone is watching it, so it's probably a sex thing. That's my heuristic.

39, 50.1 When I was a kid my mom was good friends with my first grade teacher who had this poster hanging in her house.

In the Archie Comic books I read as a kid, long before I'd actually been anywhere near a ski slope, they definitely portrayed Archie and Reggie as motivated to ski in order to see the ski bunnies in their tight, tight ski suits. Ski suits were drawn more or less like wet suits - no skin, but plenty of shape. Lots of heart eyes and swiveling around to check out a ski bunny that rolled by, and getting whacked by the purse of the ski bunny that broughtcha.

In hindsight, those comic books weren't very good.

In a Snowbowl season, there might be one or two days where one might see one or two women in bikini tops for part of the day. Much of the hill is pretty challenging, so this is a sign not just of atypically good weather, but also of a very healthy self-confidence.

55: Explosive finish to each round of that sport.

58: Same goes for golf.