did someone muck with the backend here

Re: Friday whatevery

1

Can we get swimming camels on the Monongahela? The Allegheny has alligators now and I don't want the other rivers left out.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 4-19 7:35 AM
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2

The Greta Thunberg Helpline is ready to assist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIP2vukNOPc


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 10- 4-19 8:24 AM
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So is it as bad as this suggests? : https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-front-row/joker-is-a-viewing-experience-of-rare-numbing-emptiness


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10- 4-19 12:55 PM
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4

Apparently! Watch the camels instead.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 4-19 1:45 PM
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5

Or watch comic quanitities of splattered fake blood pour out of a writhing, uncontrolled fire hose.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 4-19 1:53 PM
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My headspace was all HK and watercannon, but no, this is some white city, and then Treasury, so red ink, but that's all in-joke, not EXTINCTION style, and then it was just farce. In conclusion, they need a grown-up communications manager.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 4-19 2:12 PM
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In conclusion, they need a grown-up communications manager.

Have you paid no attention to Greta? Grown-ups are evil!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10- 4-19 2:26 PM
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8

I look very youthful in the right light. Also my status as grown-up is debatable.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 4-19 2:33 PM
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8: of course, you aren't a grown-up! But that comment made you sound like the kind of kid that thinks grown-ups are wise and should be listened to.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10- 5-19 6:03 AM
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I guess the moral of the story is that controlling a fire hose is a skill that you need actually training to do correctly.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 5-19 6:52 AM
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11

I don't know who needs to see this, but....


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 5-19 10:39 AM
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12

...but they're dwarfed in number by the people who needed _not_ to see it? Is that how that sentence ends?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10- 5-19 7:36 PM
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13

Should be fine. I heard EpiPens are cheaper now.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 6:21 AM
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14

That's gotta be fake.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 6:35 AM
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Because you can't control pharma?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 6:52 AM
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16

Either that, or her brother has a curiously ribbed organ


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 6:56 AM
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17

In the scenario proposed the peanut butter would surely be displaced outward, like the ring wall of a crater.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 7:00 AM
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18

That's how the dinosaurs died.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 7:02 AM
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19

OT: More evidence for the "a civil war has already started but only one side is shooting" thesis.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 7:38 AM
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20

I was expecting 19 to lead to a Bundy rancher shoot out or something.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 11:26 AM
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21

18 is hilarious and disgusting.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 11:27 AM
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20: Me too. Glancing at woke twitter, I guess the theory being bandied around is the cops offed him for testifying. Possible? I guess, but I thought it was generally understood that if you're willing to kill a witness for your friend who is on trial it's super unhelpful to wait until after said friend has been convicted and sentenced to prison.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 8:43 PM
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22: pour encourager les autres ?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10- 6-19 9:04 PM
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 I thought it was generally understood that if you're willing to kill a witness for your friend who is on trial it's super unhelpful to wait until after said friend has been convicted and sentenced to prison.

"Listen, Vinnie, if you agree now to testify in court against Paulie and the others for the Sciavoli hot, we'll put you in Witness Protection right now until the trial. New identity, the works. After that we'll just send you back to Brooklyn. I mean, everyone knows that no one ever murders a witness after the trial. What would be the point? You'll be fine."


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 12:19 AM
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"Besides, by the time the trial is over all those guys will be gentrified right outta there."


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 1:20 AM
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I've got an even more frightening theory than that the cops offed him: suppose there are white supremacists around who think that the cops should have offed him: low-information heavily armed people who did not realise that he would be a witness until he had been, and then killed him on a freelance basis, so to say.

Even in Texas there are presumably motives for shooting people and in the absence of the usual sex, money, machismo triad, that one makes sense.


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 1:55 AM
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27

26.1 is frighteningly plausible


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 2:03 AM
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My dudes. Chill. You don't wear conspiracy theories well. Wait until there's evidence. For instance.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 2:21 AM
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26.1: I don't think many people considered that she would be convicted until after she was.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 4:13 AM
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30

In Dallas, the police are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the attorneys who defend the offenders, and the officers who shoot witnesses anyway.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 5:06 AM
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31

I'm not saying it was an officer.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 5:12 AM
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32

Jumping to conclusions so you don't have to.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 5:28 AM
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33

28: 26.1 is speculation, but it's not a conspiracy theory.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 5:47 AM
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An officer breaks into someone's home and shoots him dead. She takes the case to court pleading self-defense, with the justified belief that she might get off the hook on that basis.

Gswift's view here makes sense to me, but it's a strange time in a strange country. What does it even mean for a conspiracy theory to be implausible any more?


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 5:53 AM
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The prosecutor didn't take her to court? Texas, okay, but really?
33: Define your terms, sir! How many times must entities be needlessly multiplied before a theory may be pronounced conspiratorial?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 5:58 AM
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I don't know about entities. I think it's just as likely to be a lone terrorist or a pair. You need only a gun, a car, and good address. None of those are difficult to get.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 6:06 AM
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37

Was it widely known among the police that he was a key witness prior to the trial? I think it's dumb to speculate too much at this point, but the idea that it is a cop or someone police-adjacent (fired cop, retired cop) isn't facially ridiculous. There's a lot of police in the Dallas area who just learned about this guy.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: “Pause endlessly, then go in” (9) | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 6:17 AM
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38

It's certainly reasonable enough that calls to have an outside body investigate the murder are entirely justified.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 6:20 AM
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39

Probably 26.1 is more likely, if only because there are way more people like that than there are actual police (let alone cops dirty enough to execute someone). But if I were investigating and didn't have something better to go on, I'd definitely want to look into whether there were officers who had been fired or seriously punished for misbehavior and had made threats against their accusers.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: “Pause endlessly, then go in” (9) | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 6:38 AM
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"When the waters rise, many people go out to fish."
--Traditional

It was probably some of those good ol' boys from the Houston PD, taking a road trip.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 9:34 AM
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In support of gswift, Wikipedia advises that, at least in this case, the cop acted with alacrity to take care of the witness.

Hardy shot and killed her on October 14, 1994, less than one day after [she filed] the complaint.

Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 9:55 AM
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||

My wife and I have concluded that someone stole the plants we had on our front stoop. When we returned from our weekend trip on Sunday, the plants were missing. We at first assumed that one of our mothers had taken them for re-potting (a presumptuous but not entirely unjustified move), but neither of them did so.

We're talking five unremarkable plants: a medium-size jade, two medium snake plants, a small purple-heart plant, and a large ivy geranium.

Who does that? And why?

|>


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 11:46 AM
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43

Your neighbor spent the weekend in your house by mistake and threw out the weird plants while she was there.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 11:49 AM
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44

It's so weird that Stanley is married.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 12:13 PM
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45

I agree with 39. The murder of the witness, right after he was publicized by the trial, was most likely not a cop and even more likely not an organized conspiracy of cops, but a cop-worshiping vigilante with several Punisher tattoos.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 12:14 PM
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Married with plants.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 12:18 PM
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47

"Married with vegetables" would make a wonderful sitcom


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 10- 7-19 10:54 PM
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48

The frolicking tale of Pablo Neruda and an artichoke.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 5:07 AM
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Oh, man is it weird. I'm feeling all transitional with both kids out of the house, and looking around and realizing how much everyone else's life has changed too since I showed up here is bizarre.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 5:26 AM
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50

I'm mostly worried about lowering my blood pressure. That feels like a transition.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 5:30 AM
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51

There will come a day when I do a guest post about Lipitor, but today is not that day.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 5:35 AM
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52

Anyway, I have to stop eating salty food and Tide pods.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 5:53 AM
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53

||

Venting over some trivial bullshit. My kids are marathoning Avatar: The Last Airbender. On a whim, I read the comments on the AV Club about one of the episodes. (The comments for other shows -- even kids shows like Adventure Time and Steven Universe -- are interesting because I'm interested in the mechanics of what makes a story work or not work on screen and they're sometimes good for that.

Instead, the comments are all outrage about how the show lacked the courage to have the bad-boy Zuko get together with the good-girl Katara. I can't say that shippers are the worst in a world in which Trump is President, but they're way up there on the list.

|>


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 6:37 AM
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54

Those two kids were meant for each other.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 6:38 AM
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Honestly, that was a really good show.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 6:39 AM
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I don't understand how you are supposed to watch Adventure Time or Steven Universe without being stoned.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 6:48 AM
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Water and fire are incompatible. This is basic.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 9:04 AM
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We are totally compatible! It's the kids that turn out basic.


Posted by: Opinionated Alkali Metals | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 10:13 AM
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A26: Appears that there is another explanation for the shooting.

https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/08/us/joshua-brown-shooting-tuesday/index.html


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 12:49 PM
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60

59 is to 26 not "A26" (?).


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 12:50 PM
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That's probably for the best, societal-collapse-prevention-wise.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 8-19 2:52 PM
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I too, were I to shoot someone in a "drug deal gone wrong', would definitely be sure to leave all the drugs behind when I made my getaway. After all, of the deal had gone wrong then it would be unethical of me to require compliance with its terms.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 10- 9-19 5:00 AM
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IDK if 62 is serious.

Green took a backpack from Brown as well as the gun used to wound Mitchell. After receiving tips, police obtained a search warrant and recovered 12 pounds of marijuana, 143 grams of THC cartridges, and $4,000 in cash from Brown's apartment.
Tips and a warrant they presumably wouldn't have needed if Brown had been shot in his apartment. Which he wasn't.
Witnesses flagged down Dallas police officers around 10:30 p.m. local time Friday and directed them to Brown, who was lying in the parking lot of his apartment complex with multiple gunshot wounds to his lower body, police said.
Unless, you know, he dragged himself outside, leaving a massive blood trail which would give the police no cause at all to enter his apartment.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 9-19 5:28 AM
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They really need an outside investigation.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 9-19 5:28 AM
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Agreed! But their story looks plausible at this point.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 10- 9-19 5:46 AM
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It does, but "he had pot" plays the same role in these narratives as "she was too uptight, he was too reckless" plays in romantic comedy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10- 9-19 5:52 AM
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