I can't get past the definitional part of the exercise. Does 'worst' mean as a person? Or are we describing the experience itself? Is there a threshold level to the experience? We're not actually talking about sleeping, obviously, but sex. Does this depend on what the meaning of is is, and a former President had occasion to observe?
Wait you slept with McMegan?
I deliberately opted not to identify the person in question, but because you're now the second person to hazard that name, NO, I did not sleep with McMegan.
2: as a person, not as a sex partner, but up to you how you understand that further.
Otoh, the banality of evil, etc., suggests this is an exercise it is easy to get wrong.
... but because you're now the second person to hazard that name, NO, I did not sleep with McMegan.
Wait, you slept with Saiselgy?
Oh yes, I have an unquestionable worst person. The first date I went on after my divorce was with this guy. He was manipulative, exactly my type physically, and I convinced myself that he was very smart because he wouldn't answer all my questions so I assumed he had fantastic answers that he kept to himself. I'm still mad at myself for getting so obsessed with him. I'm very lucky that my mild accusations caused him to block me, because 1.5 years after meeting him, I would still sleep with him if he knocked on my door.
I'm pretty sure my first boyfriend was an actual, literal psychopath and either way he spent much of our relationship gaslighting and manipulating me to, I have to admit, a pretty impressive extreme. So, easy call on this one.
I've been lucky, I guess. The worst person I've ever slept with would have to be someone in the select group of men I've slept with who I didn't know particularly well (oh, as if the rest of you don't have anyone in that category), and I wouldn't have an opinion about which one. Anyone I knew well enough to have a strong opinion about their moral standing wasn't a bad guy.
(I will say rude things about my ex and how he done me wrong all day, and he's objectively an idiot in many respects, but not fundamentally a bad person.)
The worst person I ever slept with is also the only ex-lover whose name I cannot for the life of me remember. These facts are probably not unrelated.
This is a great topiic. I posit that there are two strategies to dealing with thoughts of unpleasant people from the past:
1) minimize the association. OK sure, physically intimate and the gal learned where I live and how to tell that I'm not home and all and I fell asleep so who knows, but nothing substantial.
2) minimize the alarm: ethically challenged and talked like a racist, sure, but what's the worst action that I can actually verify?
My unfortunate self-assessment (and I suspect a male-female split to the polling on this one, partly because this place leans introvert) is that nobody I've known has been worse than me. We're age-discounting right? That is, forgiving thoughtlessness or recklessness more in younger people than older ones.
Variant rules:
Can you identify the person for whom you are the morally worst person they've ever had sex with?
I should maybe say that I don't and haven't lied, have always known how to take no for an answer. Basically it took me a long time to start taking other people's feelings seriously, still working on it, is there a manual? On the other hand, behavior that now seems 100% understandable (not really into me, unclear about it or maybe took a while to figure that out) was really hard to accept decades ago, but no longer registers.
8 could basically have been written by me (it took me a long time to recover from the experience, so, sympathies, Swope). And yet! He at least had good politics, which is not true of at least one person I can think of.
Lee is I suppose not the worst abusive person I've slept with, but I still have to deal with her in an ongoing way, so that feels worse. And I think I'm probably not the worst person anyone else has slept with except one ex who may not have slept with anyone else and I'm not sure if that counts just by default. I don't know!!
9.1: What if they were all great but you never took the time?
Very possible! There's a New Zealander out there who was wearing ridiculous holiday peppermint-striped briefs on the day before New Years, 1994, whose moral standing I can't vouch for but he might have been a flawless human being.
Does it count if somebody got much worse after you slept with them? Assuming it's not because you slept with them.
Hmmm. Literal murderer. Although I'm pretty sure a finance type was worse overall.
21 me. I should add that 21.first was well enough substantiated (including by them) but never successfully charged, so I just sort of assumed it was true. And after our brief dating or whatever-you-call-it.
Someone I slept with over a decade ago is now a minor Trump-aligned grifter. This is offensive in multiple ways, including that she's apparently not even very good at her chosen grift.
damn, if you can't do a good grift under those conditions, you really should look elsewhere.
25 of the cold blooded kind, yes. Over something stupid of course.
McMegan was my guess as well.
My guess was Ross Douthat. I've never met Neb, but I assume he looks like a chunky Reese Witherspoon?
I'm not curious enough to look at twitter to see if I can guess.
Ba/ri Weiss was my guess when I saw that McMegan was ruled out.
is 26 weird? I sometime feel like my teens+ were really not like most at unfogged
I was mostly reading and doing well at standardized testings but just a little bit of underage drinking.
So I guess you never spent a car trip out to the local federal medium packing balloons for the guy in the front seat to swallow before he went back in after a day pass?
I have never been involved with pooping contraband.
Kaitlin Ben/nett is a little young for you, no?
I suppose it's like coffee from civet poop, an acquired taste.
Let's all list the worst person we ever slept with and the most expensive thing we ever pooped.
How big are these balloons. How do you swallow them without suffocating?
Honestly is there anyone here who didn't immediately think McMegan? I certainly did.
Spike you just make them as big as they can swallow..
https://apnews.com/8dff185e1324cb7079b8a86c48c2ec56
Somewhat topically, Whitey Bulger was apparently given heavy doses of LSD in the late 50s by the CIA.
Topical because it means that if you slept with him and he was the worst it wasn't entirely his fault.
Using a liberal version of "slept with," there was a fellow I dated who admitted to molesting children he was babysitting. No contest. I dumped him, and he married a woman who looked like she was 12. I don't know whether they had children. He was majoring in music education, but he recently added me on LinkedIn (!), and I think he just performs.
11: I don't know about that but there is definitely a male-female split in the answers here, because the worst any of the blokes has managed so far is "subsequently a minor and unsuccessful grifter" (my own is "I think the company that she helped run probably did business with manufacturers in China that had some dubious labour practices, based on the fact that most Chinese manufacturers do") and the women have come up with "actual murderer", "child abuser" and "pretty sure a psychopath".
Even worse, considering the gender ratio here.
40: Honestly is there anyone here who didn't immediately think McMegan?
My first thought was actually Louise Mensch. I focused on the Twitter part and not the likely-to-have-slept-with-Neb part.
It strikes me that the conclusions everyone is leaping to will reveal a lot about the sort of person we think neb is. My first guess was Gwyneth Paltrow.
43. Whitey had been retailing that ever since he was first put on trial. It doesn't explain his behavior before the alleged LSD doses. The rule of thumb with him is that anything he said was a lie, and he always had an excuse for everything. ("I wasn't a fscking informant, no Irish person would ever be an informant.")
OP. I was dumped by a woman I'd been seeing because she was getting married in two weeks. Somehow that had never come up in conversation before.
("I wasn't a fscking informant, no Irish person would ever be an informant.")
"Me? Play soccer? How ridiculous. Don't you know I'm Brazilian?"
I was dumped by a woman I'd been seeing because she was getting married in two weeks. Somehow that had never come up in conversation before.
Is it the dumping, the cheating, or the not-letting-you-know that qualifies her?
Take an American hostage every week and ransom them back for $1 billion each. "That's the way to do it," Hassan Abbasi told a public meeting in Nowshahr, a port city on the Caspian Sea.
I'm not sure he's the best choice for running the tourism department.
I brought protection, but was a little bit late.
My first guess was Gwyneth Paltrow.
What in the world could have led to that guess?
Here thinks you're responsible for Cold Play.
Your sweet, unthreatening rockstar vibes.
Being joke-pwned by Moby barely counts.
I'm still very worried I might be the worst person someone has slept with and not know it, but maybe that's ameliorated by being the best person for others? Or is that a lie too like when people claim something is the best sex they've had?
46: I'm pretty sure Soup Biscuit's a man, and I thought he was straight. There's at least a strong possibility the murderer is a woman.
I think soup biscuit is a man who isn't straight. Let's all take bets on sb's gender and sexuality!
Alright, as long as we're throwing out insultingly wild guesses, for terrible twitter people I'm throwing in Chris Ci/llizza, Ben Shap/iro, one of the Brue/nigs (probably not them because tradcath), and both Diamond and Silk.
65: If you're the worst person somebody has slept with, either they have little sexual history or you've screwed somebody whose sexual fetish is doing saints.
Me watching Knives Out:
There's at least a strong possibility the murderer is a woman.
Well, right, come to think speculation is rude. I 'know' (to the extent one knows anything about anyone one hasn't met in person) SB is a man, but come to think I don't know anything about the gender of the murderer.
Me, slightly later while still watching Knives Out:
but come to think I don't know anything about the gender of the murderer.
None that I can think of were horrible in some objective sense, but several had enough lust in their hearts that they knocked boots with me, unbeknownst to their current partners.
66: I was assuming that the guy in 32 swallowing the balloons was the murderer in question. I admit also that I had no firm knowledge about soup biscuit either way.
74 totally different scenario. That guy wasn't really hard, just carrying. Me and a friend were strong armed i to helping do that sort of thing from time to time for friends stepdad (the driver, not the mule) - which wasn't difficult as we were 14 or 15 iirc.
LB is right, the other one was a she; (alleged) murder was with her boyfriend though so out that in whatever column you think fits. I knew her (iykwim) years before though.
My sexuality remains excellent.
Boyfriends help you move furniture. Keepers help you move bodies.
A woman needs a man like a man needs an accessory after the fact.
Anyway, I want to answer the question worst person you went on a date with, because the answer for sex is less interesting and more unpleasant for me!
So, sort of similarly to soupy, it's a complicated sort of tie between:
the self identified psychopath who used to go out with a cane that had a concealed knife and walk around in rough neighborhoods and wait for someone to fuck with him (it was totally plausible that he could get this to happen; he had extreme fuck with me energy) so that he could have the pleasure of attacking them with his cane and calling it self-defense. He had also served in the military which he described as an appropriate outlet for his desire to hurt people.
and
the mucky-muck from JP Morgan Chase who was BOTH a libertarian dillweed AND a literal slavery apologist. I really handed his ass to him in an argument (I mean, it wasn't hard) and he left with a sulky, "you're very intelligent and I'm sure you'll be very successful."
Oh I also went on a date with someone who may have been molesting his daughter but that was later speculation from suggestive behavior, but no proof. (A friend of a friend later dated him, and the speculation came to me through our mutual friend.)
Oh yeah but regarding guy 3, I did know, because he told me, that he had only through providence avoided killing an ex through what would have been a kind of negligent homicide, and IMO he did not express the appropriate contrition over his behavior and acted like the main consequences, had they not been lucky, would have been to him.
Oh and there was the guy who intentionally hit three cyclists with his car.
I've never slept with anyone worse than me. (Me now > me 40 years ago. By a damn long shot.)
Oh and there was the guy who intentionally hit three cyclists with his car.
I am assuming "over some period of time, on three separate occasions" rather than "during the date" but perhaps I am wrong to do so.
The dating vs. "had sex" distinction is a good one. In a way, knowingly going on a 2nd date with someone weighs heavier than a drunken hookup, say.
"you're very intelligent and I'm sure you'll be very successful."
Traditional Unfogged curse.
I think Tia needs to redo her Tinder bio.
I met somebody like 78.2 except he was a karate dickhead rather than a knife cane dickhead. I heard he later got his spine broken for his trouble, but did not witness this and the source was unreliable. It seems somehow fitting if true but I have my doubts.
I would definitely not want to have sex with a knife cane dick head.
I also dated someone who killed or messed up a few kids in a car crash (when they were a kid too, and driving) but they didn't come across as assholeish so much as haunted.
90.last I meant by this fact, not a literal spectre.
Tia wins. Or loses. I want to take a shower just reading those descriptions.
I'm realizing how dull my dating life was.
I'm realizing how dull my dating life was.
As far as you know. Maybe they were just reticent.
BOTH a libertarian dillweed AND a literal slavery apologist
Boggling at this. "Taxation is slavery which is perfectly OK!"
the finance-y person I mentioned ended up doing some sort of largish scale structuring thing around payday loan types of credit ; so I'm pretty sure they are doing quite badly in terms of mouse orgasms.
There was also a (1 date only) CEO of a consultancy run on (self described) objectivist principles. I didn't stick around log enough to find out exactly what they meant by that.
96 I think adding sufficient racism can perhaps unboggle this for you.
96: What soup said, but consider that many so-called libertarians are concerned mainly or exclusively with property rights. Allowing for that, there's a sort of dark consistency.
I'm realizing how dull my dating life was.
Yeah, I'm similarly seeing the bright side of avoiding dating for long periods in my life. You guys, whew, have run into some real specimens.
Not on the same level, but my best bad date was probably when the guy was telling me a supposedly funny story about putting feces into the food of a co-worker and apparently the look of bewildered horror on my face was enough for him to end the night right then, pay for dinner, thank me for my time, and go home with no awkward talk of seeing each other again. I call that win-win.
15: Thanks! You know, I thought I had shaken it off at the time after the truth came out, but all these years later I can see that the negative effects of that experience were long-lasting. (e.g., see above.)
I don't think I'm likely anybody's morally-worst, at least not that they could possibly know about, although I probably made it to the top of a few worst-lays-ever lists.
I think my worst date was with someone who it transpired during the date was very rich
and then it transpired they were very rich because their parents were rich
and then that their parents were rich because daddy was a senior member of an extremely unpleasant kleptocratic government
and then that daddy had actually been (but was no longer) head of the secret police of the extremely unpleasant government
and then that she had actually had daddy's goons chase up people who had annoyed her in some way or other.
That was a while ago.
I have nothing to contribute to this thread aside from 1.
102: So, did you manage to avoid pissing her off? That seems like a fraught situation to extract oneself from.
Hmm. For a few months in my 20s I dated a guy who many years later became a junior minister in the Coalition government, so though he personally was a decent guy I guess his total cumulative shitty effect on people's lives might actually have been worse than that of an individual psychopath. But I'm not good enough at calculus to work it out.
"did you manage to avoid pissing her off?"
So it would seem!
106: my worst person is not the person who was the worst to me personally--she was fine, in comparison with the basically emotionally abusive ex the mere sight of whom around Berkeley would ruin my day a year after we broke up--but rather the person I suspect to have the worst effect on, like, The Discourse and people in general.
NO, I did not sleep with McMegan
Wait, you slept with Meghan McCain?
This thread really threatens to undermine the rule about gentlemen never telling.
Sometimes I think to myself, "gee, I really have had relatively little romantic experience and, given my life as it is lived, I am unlikely to have any more; I feel kind of bad about myself*" and then I am reminded that I haven't actually slept with anyone awful or indeed had any really bad romantic experiences. There was a sleazy visiting Australian who was under the impression that I was going to hook up with him after he'd propositioned and been turned down by all the more attractive people in our program and who then called me ugly in front of everyone when I wouldn't, but given that he himself was a man like a particularly deteriorated unmade bed AND had already mentioned his live-in girlfriend back home, I didn't really take him too seriously. He was probably the worst person I *could* have slept with. (I would totally reveal his name but I can't for the life of me remember.)
Anyway, I too immediately thought of McMegan, but I really wouldn't believe it of Neb. Maybe it's an awful communist of some sort, though, who is merely Discourse-famous. Or an awful academic of some kind.
*But I was recently at a large queer event and one of the volunteers seemed, as far as I could tell, to be utterly bowled over by my looks and charm. It was really weird and yet I couldn't easily attribute our interactions to anything else. I am choosing to believe that in another timeline with more of this sort of person, I could have cut quite a swathe and been a real heart-breaker.
If you slept with them, you could find out if they were also a terrible person and report back.
I assume 107 triggered the assassin, because waiting until he felt safe made it that much worse because of the surprise.
What, more directly put, does "like a deteriorated unmade bed" mean as a personal description? I want to see if I can use it, but don't want to get it wrong.
Neb w Sarah Palin, that's my guess. Where is Joe DiMaggio when you need him?
I'm picturing John Candy as Uncle Buck, but without the warmth and compassion.
Jolting Joe has gone away. Hey, hey, hey.
File 113 under superpowers you might not want
115: Now I get to say mean things after all these years! His clothes were baggy, badly kept and didn't fit well, he had an unkempt beard and longish unkempt hair, his face had a loose, slightly baggy quality. He could probably have stood to exfoliate a bit more. He was a tall fat guy, older than the rest of us, and there was also a sort of looseness to his flesh. He just gave an impression of being loosely wrapped together in general, like he needed to have everything washed and tucked in properly...but not by me.
But really, it's not that he was somehow unmatchedly hideous - he looked like a lot of stout hippie types in early middle age. He was more of a spiritual unmade bed, just an unappealing proposition, someone who really couldn't understand why all these college-aged people weren't falling all over themselves to sleep with a partnered older guy who didn't even take any real trouble with his appearance and who was extremely blatant about working his way down the list from most- to least-attractive. It was funny - he was perfectly normal otherwise, he was there to do some kind of workshop and did it well enough that he was invited back every year.
Someone once described someone else (a guy with a Santa-Claus-like belly who habitually went about in a slowly unraveling pullover) to me as 'a load of pork sausages wrapped in some dirty wool'. It was le mot juste.
113. Sounds like a fairly grim project.
He was more of a spiritual unmade bed, just an unappealing proposition, someone who really couldn't understand why all these college-aged people weren't falling all over themselves to sleep with a partnered older guy who didn't even take any real trouble with his appearance and who was extremely blatant about working his way down the list from most- to least-attractive.
This is so great.
I want to stress, in fairness, that an untidy chubby age appropriate single person who took the trouble to be nice and charming could make the baggy-untidy thing work for them, I am by no means ruling out chubby untidy people in early middle age....but with a charming person the charm animates the flesh, so to speak.
Like, it would be the grossest hypocrisy for me to be very strict about physical appearance, but I really insist that people be able at least to give the impression that they are attracted to me rather than just determined to have it off before they fly home.
126: I find that having incredibly strict standards about how anyone I am willing to sleep with must convey that they are absolutely over the moon at the opportunity both makes things tend to work out well when they do, and prevents my romantic life from taking up a burdensome amount of time because there are so few people eligible at all.
How do you know when they aren't just trying to get the you to unlock the basement door?
Who was it who had been chatted up with the line "you'll do?" Someone here, I think.
130:. I think that was Babe, the sheepherding pig.
I dated/slept with a Republican who owned a Porsche and was waiting for his ex to take him back, long ago, and then a Libertarian with foolishly inconsistent opinions about guns and public television and disability rights, less long ago. But they both were overall decent people and in both cases we mainly broke up because I was smarter than them and I won all our arguments about politics.
I'm pretty sure I like & would be friends with everyone else I've slept with.
Oh, that's false! I had a brief relationship-slash-fling with a guy who seemed fantastic at first and then devolved into a very scary douchecanoe. He (it turned out) was cheating on his wife, for one thing, and then later told me at length about how he would never assault me while I was unconscious* because consent is really important to him. When I expressed discomfort with this conversation, it devolved into him giving me the silent treatment for several weeks, and then aggressively following me on social media and commenting/liking posts as I repeatedly asked him not to contact me and blocked him on each social media platform as he found me. If I didn't have a huge dog I would be worried about him showing up at my house.
How weird that I basically forgot about that.
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For William Gibson fans. Our stub, it does not appear to be a good one.
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oh the * was that I fainted while in his presence once and so he felt obligated to repeatedly tell me that he would never have raped me while I was out, unlike (he assumed) most other men
On a lighter note I once briefly dated someone who, it turned out, was only doing this to manufacture opportunities to bump into or otherwise meet up with both (divorced) parents in order to prove something (!?) I think that they could date a seemingly having-their-shit-together person (I could do a reasonable hand drawn facsimile). It was deeply weird and they put an incredible amount of work into it which at first was hard to distinguish from actual interest. It was more impressive than annoying really, but created a ton of related drama (surprise visits! fights with exes! arguments with parents! fights between parents!). They literally did social work in a trauma center so it confused my why they would like more in their life, but I guess it takes all kinds.
At first I thought they were just really Machiavellian but in the end concluded they were really, really self sabotaging. All kinds of passive aggressive weirdness I didn't initially understand, too.
It takes lots of kinds, but there's no proof that it takes all kinds.
Nor could such a proof ever be completed.
If Warren were a commenter here she'd answer Bloomberg because she just fucked him hard.
I posted the 134 one as it specifically references Qamishli which is a key trouble spot in one of the stubs in Agency.
I confess to a certain degree of amusement that Turkey has succeeded in the last 12 months in destroying its relationships with three out of the world's four major powers. Well played! So, you won't get any F-35s, you aren't getting anywhere near accession any time soon, and now your army is about to be humiliated in Syria. All you need to do now is post a Winnie the Pooh GIF and you'll have the full set.
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"The failed French Himalayan expedition of 1936 was weighed down by eight tonnes of supplies, including 72 fillettes of champagne and "countless" tins of foie gras."
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But the corks pop so much harder at altitude.
The foie gras is probably a very good idea - it's got to be one of the most efficient foods around in terms of calories per gram. Polar explorers ate pemmican for the same reason.
my worst person is not the person who was the worst to me personally [...] but rather the person I suspect to have the worst effect on, like, The Discourse and people in general.
neb slept with Shearer, pass it on!
147: probably does if you want to transport it across India without it going a bit funny.
And pemmican was, of course, transported in tins as well. It had to survive on board ship for months.
See here, from the Terra Nova expedition:
https://tfd-dvmazynqg6bw1gt01.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Scott-1910-1912-Pemmican.jpg
Not only do ponies not require a tins; they are also self-propelled.
It's supposed to be stuffed into buffalo hides. It's a tradition.
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China accounts for about two-thirds of global pear consumption?
Are the French not using every part of the buffalo?
Why are pears eating the people of China?
Don't waste our time with this New Age shit. There're like a gajillion of them.
So, Chinese eat per capita about ten times the amount of pears as the average for the rest of the world? That seems within usual variation for a culturally determined food.
It's supposed to be stuffed into buffalo hides.
It starts off stuffed into buffalo hides, inasmuch as it's made from buffalo.
Right. Then you shoot the buffalo, then you dry the meat, melt the fat, and put them both into a sack made from the hide.
Then you shoot the buffalo, then you dry the meat, melt the fat, and put them both into a sack made from the hide.
OK, AND THEN DO I GET THE WOMEN?
I guess at some point you can find women who want a man with leather bags of dried meat covered in fat.
Florida is probably the best place for something like that.
I'm with Frowner@112. It never really occurred to me that my dating history was much to write home about, but this thread has me thinking "Wow, I survived singlehood without any really ghastly experiences!"
Sort of on topic: I don't read Slate much anymore, but this is a somewhat entertaining piece about what the author calls the John Cusack Trilogy (Say Anything, Grosse Pointe Blank, and High Fidelity), tracking the evolution of his characters from hopeful young romantic to bitter aging hipster. The bitter aging hipsters at unfogged might appreciate it (the hopeful young romantics as well, assuming we still have any of those).
I'm holding a boom box outside of some woman's window right now.
65.2: This seems so preposterous, but then I wondered if Thorn has an ex that might look her up now, and be positively horrified to discover that he slept with a Lesbian and a Socialist.
169: Be ready to make a getaway in case she calls the police.
Speaking of which, many grand romantic gestures from older movies now come off as sort of creepy and stalker-ish. Does the boombox scene in Say Anything hold up well?
But I can still act like an imbecile.
I insist upon it. We're only as free as least free among us.
177: And you can act real rude and totally removed. And I can act like an imbecile.
duh pwned by not reading 176 apparently.
177 should not be interpreted to mean I'm opposed to Roger Stone's sentence.
180. Perish the thought.
As an aside I have a tenuous personal connection to the (video made for) the afore-referenced song. It's funny how positively that echoes this much later.
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Am I the only person who isn't viscerally disgusted by the sight of trash cans or something?
We live in a rowhouse, alongside five with similar dimensions. In back, the houses are connected by an alley only wide enough for foot traffic. On the other side of the alley is the wall of a house that faces the perpendicular street. We have a tiny backyard area between the house and the alley, it's basically a square as wide as the house. It's concrete. We're replacing it with permeable pavers mostly for drainage reasons and redoing the fence. We haven't used the backyard space for much, just storage, grilling, and going out the backdoor for various reasons, and we don't expect that to change. Some of our neighbors have built cutouts in their fences so their trash and recycling bins can be outside the fence without blocking the alley. Cassandane's father and my father both think we should do the same thing and Cassandane says she's ambivalent.
I'm the only person who thinks this will make it harder to take out the trash and couldn't care less about whether the trash cans are visible from the house or not. What am I missing here? They're trash cans! Everybody has them!
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Just get rid of yours and dump stuff in your neighbor's can.
I'm tempted to go along with it, but make Cassandane take out the trash forever. That probably wouldn't go over well, though.
Admittedly part of the problem is the fact that I take the trash and/or recycling from our pantry to the trash cans outside several times a week, because the trash/recycling cans in the pantry are small, because the pantry itself is small. Getting more space in the house is on our to-do list but is a much bigger job than the backyard stuff. But maybe we could find room for bigger ones if we rearranged things. I'm checking out Bed, Bath, and Beyond's Web site now.
The rectangle ones are great for space saving.
Bed, Bath... and BEYOND!
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The BEST:
I'm recovered from the 5 months of chemo, my surgery went very well, and all the lab work came back completely clear. My main oncologist has decided that I don't have to do the six additional months of oral chemo after all because I have responded so well to everything. (It is a weird experience for me, to be responding abnormally well to medical treatments and have doctors be cheerful at me). I will still have to do regular scans for the next few years, because of the high rate of recurrence, but my status at the moment is as good as possible.
I'm doing daily radiation which is inconvenient but not yet exhausting (they told me to wait until next week to see how I feel) and emerging from the 6 months I spent on the couch to do things and see people and construct ridiculous projects.
So, hooray! Don't feel obliged to stop sending me presents or anything, though. And come visit! The summer is nice here; I recommend July.
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What 188 and 189 said. Great news.
It's so nice to hear some good news. I'm so glad, E. Messily!
The one time I knowingly slept with a republican he was a (minor, I assume) economist in the Bush administration. He also (probably) gave me an STD.
Upon review, this is not a well placed salacious admission.
The one time I knowingly slept with a republican he was a (minor, I assume)...
Yikes.
... economist in the Bush administration
Oh, phew.
187: That's fantastic! I was just thinking of you and wondering how you were doing (weird as that may seem for a long-time but now very infrequent commenter). Keep up the good work!
Good news re: 187.
re: the OP
I suspect it's very strongly influenced by gender and social class.
I doubt if anyone I've slept with has ever been in a position of enough power to do genuine societal bad. At around the time I started moving in circles where I might encounter people with future potential for societal bad, I was already in a long term relationship (and subsequently married). Before that, everyone I had ever slept with was: mostly working class Scottish women. Not a group overwhelmingly able to exert much influence of that type. So, in no particular order (and just people I went out with for a while, or otherwise am still in touch with so I know what they do for a living):*
1 x elementary school teacher (formerly a nurse)
3 x psychiatric nurses***
1 x civil servant (working on internal fraud investigation)**
1 x retail manager
1 x person who works in medical equipment sales
I have gone out with some people who were shitty girlfriends, but their harm was localised to whichever poor sod was dating them at the time.
* vast majority of my total number of partners were more than 20 years ago, so I have no idea what they do now or have done in the intervening time.
** i.e. other civil servants, in the department in which she worked, who were involved in organised benefit fraud
*** this is not a weird kink on my part. The major employer in the town I grew up was a psychiatric hospital, so a large percentage of my friends (male and female) between age 17 and age 25 were all psychiatric nurses.
Once, twice, three times a psychiatric nurse.
You are my lady. And I am your man. Whenever you reach for me, I take my diazepam.
I have earwormed myself with 70s pop.
Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl with schizophrenia goes walking
I don't know what you're talking about.
She escaped because all the nurses snuck out to bang ttaM.
217: Lyrical liberties aside, I do find The Girl from Ipanema to be one of the more effective earworm antidotes.
187 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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So I have a job application for a job that opened up in one of the universities here, I've long wanted to make a move into academic librarianship and the director of the library is a friend but I just can't bring myself to write the damned thing. I've been sitting my ass in a cafe since 11 am this morning (it's 6 now) and did the same yesterday but I've got pitiful results. I need to finish the cover letter and statement of my librarianship philosophy and update my CV (the last of which is maddenningly difficult because of formatting issues in my current version, every time I add anything to it it fucks up the the tabbed formatting. I usually agonize over these thigs and then do it in a flurry of last minute panic and I've always been able to pull it off but that should have kicked in by now. Anyway I have till Friday to get it in and I'm seriously considering taking tomorrow off of work and coming back here first thing and staying until I've got serviceable drafts of the cover letter and statement.
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224 was probably about as much writing as I've done all day. FML
On the upside, you get to fuck your life with the world's biggest condom.
Anyway, I was doing exactly the same thing about six weeks a go and FWAbsolutelyNothingIW when I eventually stopped agonizing and wrote it was easy. (Then they made me jump through a bunch more hoops. Then I didn't get the job. But, I'm confident, through no fault of my own. And got another job which may turn out to be better.) Anyway, I feel you, bro. In a non-creepy way.
Barry - Good luck. Formatting resumes is such a hassle. I'm dealing with that at this moment and Tim helped me.
Good luck with the job searching everybody.
Barry, get a friend to sit with you and make you do it. Really. Friends love to be asked to help. Even if the actual help is useless, it will get you started, keep you focused on the task at hand, and you can edit it much more easily and quickly. Even better if the friend is in a different field and uninformed about what things should actually look like so you don't feel guilty about overriding their input.
Thanks all, it's amazing how in just the past hour or so it's starting to come together. I think posting that helped. I'm now torn between staying another hour till closing here or going home and having a few drinks. It's also helped a lot that I overcame my apprehension and just read the job description half a dozen times and then started to write towards it. I do think I'll call in sick tomorrow and come here to work all day on it.
230 thanks ydnew, that's good advice and I should have done that a couple of weeks ago. I may reach out and see if anyone is available in the next couple of days but I think I may have broken the initial resistance (he says knowing tomorrow will be 4 hours of staring at the screen, fretting, and then faffing about on twitter).
I am suddenly very tired and feel like I've hit a wall so I'm homeward bound...
Barry- if you haven't already, take a look at Ask A Manager's cover letter & resume advice
https://www.askamanager.org/search-results?q=cover%20letter
https://www.askamanager.org/search-results?q=cover%20letter
I am trying to hire a lawyer right now, and my god will any cover letter you could possibly write be better than the garbage I'm seeing. (I have one good applicant so far, with a dull but unobjectionable cover letter, but the others have been either inappropriate or incompetent.)
Maybe try for one that is both to see if they don't cancel out?
I haven't been involved with hiring anybody since maybe 2015.
Yeah. Thanks for getting back to me.
HR was supposed to send the "thanks but not you" letters.
Don't forget to mention the obscenely decorated camper van.
Ugh, I took the day off and I'm doing the same thing today!
Focus, Barry! I have to finalize a cover letter too, so I need to know that you can do it.
OK BG, thanks for the support. I'll renew efforts.
It helps to hum n the theme from the Karate Kid.
