Oh, no. I'd love to send a card as well.

I am so sorry to hear it and I'm at a loss for words. I was always especially happy to read his comments and was bummed when he disappeared.

If there's any fund set up for his daughters, please let us know and we'll contribute. (Because I particularly remember him talking about reading to them at bedtime, even when they were perfectly able to read to themselves, I'd also kick in for, say, a $1000 Powell's gift card for them -- whatever seems appropriate.) Are they still in Portland? If so, my heart particularly goes out to them in the midst of the nightmarish circumstances there. My god.

God damn it. He really classed up the place, and I loved how much he loved his daughters.

I only met him once, but it was lovely. I had an OKCupid first date after work, and he was in town with his girlfriend so we planned a latish dinner for after; L. came as well. Really big, charming personality in person.

(The date was weird, and having plans for after was an excellent thing.)

That's deeply sad. He picked me up from a station for a mini-meetup when I visited PDX a few years ago, and we went to that amazing since-closed place Tanuki with Emerson. His love for his daughters definitely shone through, and he was really fun to be with.

I'm so sorry to hear this even though we never met except here. It's a big loss in a year of loss.

Oh damn! RIP.

Oh man. I never met him except for here, but that's awfully sad news. My heart goes out to his family.

Seconding the desire to send a card and contribute to a book fund or other contribution, if anyone gets details.

His love for his daughters stood out. Reading them Moby Dick! And, somewhat to his surprise, they enjoyed it. His love for the Red Sox and music came near. His divorce and later his forced change in employment were very hard but he seemed to adapt. It's such a crying shame.

The thing I often remember about his relationship with his daughters was that he was so proud (I think that this was after the divorce) that one felt comfortable enough to call and tell him when she got her period for the first time. I hesitated to write that here in a kind of condolence book, but it really was a testament to his ability as a father.

This is hard news. My condolences to his family.

I too only ever met him here, but I loved his wit and passion and his stories and his obvious love for his daughters. What a sad terrible loss.

Oh, this is horrible. Count me in on gestures of condolence.

This is terribly sad.

Holy shit, sorry. We weren't that close, even by the standards of closeness around here, but if nothing else we could compare notes about both being from Vermont.

Can I ask what happened?

was thinking of him just in the past few days ... his love of music is something i really missed when he stopped commenting. add my sorrow to any collective expression of condolences.

So sad.

16: Tragically, his demise was due to cirrhosis and liver failure. No one knew he was in that condition. I was a very close friend but had not seen him very recently, and I wonder if he even knew. He'd had some other recent physical complaints (but not of life-threatening kinds), and those could easily have explained his lack of energy and appearance of being unwell. So it was only when his health was in an alarming state that people could see that he needed medical care.

Together we cry.

Oh, no. I'm so sorry. He loved his girls so much.

Oh god damn it. He was a true gentleman of wit and deep love for his daughters--I never met him in person, but shared some heartfelt FB DMs as we both dealt with divorce and career struggles the past few years. I wish that he had had better medical care, I wish that his last few years weren't so tough--but he rose to those challenges with a public grace I only wish I could equal. A good man, gone too soon.

For those looking to express themselves in a place where his non-Mineshaft friends can share, there is a post on his FB wall from a friend offering up the comments as a place to do so--it may not appear for you unless you go directly to his page.

(Also, I'm up for a memorial fund as well--although his daughters are getting old enough that perhaps we should be thinking college fund or other such. Grace, as an IRL friend, can you advise as to the best way we might commemorate him for the sake of his daughters?)

Very sorry to hear this....

Oh, this is so sad.

Oh wow. Such a tragic loss.

The kind of person we really don't need to lose.

If the sense of the meeting was to do something memoriam for his daughters, is there anybody who knows them well enough to offer guidance as to what they'd appreciate?

Oh no. So sad. He loved those girls so much. I agree that we should do something.

Very sad news.

Terrible news. He was hilarious and erudite and great. We had a blast chatting away on the video chat counterprogramming to unfoggedycon III or whatever it was (when I was a puppet), but otherwise all the fun we had is in the archives, I guess.

Just awful news. My heart goes out to Things One and Two.

I'm so sad to learn this. Halford and I met up with him for drinks before a concert at the LA Phil that he flew down to see. I hate knowing it can't ever happen again.

So shocking and sad. Thinking of his daughters.

Ah shit. Never met him but have missed him here. Why do we keep losing the good ones while the bad ones keep going strong?

Hi all. I am part of the Reed nucleus who are managing communications, trying to organize tributes/memorials, etc. Right now this is all super-fresh (barely 24 hours since we learned that he did not make it) and we are allowing ourselves to take lots of time to communicate, grieve, rest, think about the girls' needs, etc. Right now his ex-wife is taking time for privacy and focus on the girls (Isn't this the first week of school? Plus she is also a school teacher... I hope she is getting a substitute for this week.) This is something she never expected to have to deal with, and didn't have spare bandwidth for to begin with... For now we are giving her space for the three of them. You can rest assured that between her own family/friend network and James's network, there are plenty of people looking out for them and ready to help in any way needed. When and if a fund is set up, I can let HB-GB know and make a post that will be more visible and dedicated. Things will roll out bit by bit, over time.

Thanks so much -- keep us posted if there's anything we can do. Fund for the girls, memorial charitable donation, food delivery -- whatever makes sense.

Please take care of yourself, too, Grace. You sound like a true friend.

Thank you, Grace. What a tragic loss.

I already expressed my shock and grief over on FB, but I wanted to express it here as well, just because I know this community is grieving. He was a bright spot in our lives.

Thank you, Grace. I'm very sorry that you've lost a friend.

He was more than a friend. The plan, some time ago, was for me to become Mrs. Jesus (II). There are even some references to me in these archives!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

41: Hm, I believe it's not "these archives" but "the Archives" and there are people here who on another day might have rapped my knuckles for the error, which is why I preferred to lurk.

An archives.

Thanks for posting this heebie (yeoman's work always), and thank you Grace for letting us all know what happened and keeping us posted if there is anything we can do to help.

I only knew him from here, too (and The Other Place, of course), but it was a pleasure to read him and see the bits of his life he shared. My condolences to all who were closer.

This is terribly sad. Grace, I'm so sorry for your loss.

O Grace, I'm so sorry for your loss.

This is so unutterably sad. Thank you for posting here.

Grace, I'm very sorry for your loss. Feel free to reach out to the folks here if you need a not-visible place to express anything (or, obviously not). Please take care of yourself.

Grace, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts.

So sorry, to all that knew and valued JMQ.

I am so sorry for your loss, Grace.

Grace, you sound like a kind and loving person, concerned for JMQ's ex-wife's well-being and that of his daughters while you are yourself grieving. An unexpected death like this is so shocking. I would like to contribute to any fund that is organized to help out. Will check in regularly to find out where/how to do that. Thank you.

Very sorry to hear. And sympathies to all who knew him.

I was only a lurker, but Jesus McQueen was one of my favorites of the luminaries who comment here with his intelligence, his wit, his love for good food, and his humanity. My heart goes out to you, Grace, to his daughters, and to the many many friends he so obviously has. This is truly a terrible loss.

I hadn't realised how much of this was your loss, Grace. Sympathies, as we say without moving our upper lips.

What a tragic loss. As others have said, when I think of JMcQ, I think "father." I only knew him from here and The Other Place, but in both places his love for Thing One and Thing Two was front and center. A good man, gone too soon.

Let me be the first to say that this is very sad.

Please accept my condolences.

Oh this sucks, my condolences Grace and others close to JMcQ.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Grace. He was a really good guy.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Grace. He was lucky to have you in his life.

Condolences to all who knew him, here and elsewheres.

Thank you so much Grace. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I was telling Chopper that I have a hard time keeping track of people between here and the other place whom I haven't metup with, and I have this weird feeling I've lost two friends. But yes, in both places his love for his daughters was just so lovely and endearing, and my heart aches for them. Our last exchange of messages was about something cool he was excited about and was going to share with them, and I so regret not following up and finding out if they liked it.

61: The conversations in progress that won't be finished, those can be hard. I have about a thousand of them.
Was it recent, the last exchange of messages you refer to? It's possible I'd know the conclusion if you want to tell me what it was he was excited about sharing with them.

It was about guessing how many pencils there are here, he made some guesses, when he got it I shared with him a bunch of information I had found about the origin of this arrangement of pencils and other neat sculptures made by the same person. So I don't know if he wanted to share the puzzle with them or the sculptures or the maybe trying to reproduce the sculptures with them.

63: Sorry, don't know that one.

The conversations in progress that won't be finished, those can be hard

I know this feeling too well. They linger for a long time.

64: no worries.

"The conversations in progress that won't be finished, those can be hard"

"I know this feeling too well. They linger for a long time."

They go on forever. I still get into them during dinner time.

Good to see you, Biohazard. Still think about you and DE.

Yes to 68.

Yes twice to 68. Biohazard, there should be a new check-in thread soon; tell us how you've been?

In fact, honestly, let's get the next check-in thread to 600 comments. EVERYONE check in. Lurkers, "haven't commented since 2004" -- if you haven't been banned, tell us how you are, tell us how you want to be, go presidential and talk about your home life completely deteriorating, brag about your romantic adventures, whatever you need.

"The conversations in progress that won't be finished, those can be hard"

I swear, even as a 99.99% lurker, I used to know how to do the tags for italics, but I don't know now. Grieving for Jesus has made me foggy, temporarily.

It just occurred to me that this year, Jesus never showed off his homegrown tomatoes over at the other place. And I was going to ask him if he'd planted any; if he hadn't even planted any, I would have wanted to know why because that would seem amiss, for him. I know he was at least going to his community garden plot regularly, but the tomatoes were kind of an annual highlight.

The conversations and questions on relatively mundane things that we thought we'd just ask him next time we talked... It's interesting how emotionally affecting it is to have the opportunity taken away forever. I just wanted to know if he'd planted tomatoes and harvested any. Why should it matter so much that I can't ask him that now?

It's good to see you in this thread, Biohazard. I was thinking of you and DE again recently. I hope you are hanging in there.

Biohazard, great to see you around.

Thanks. To be clear, I was thinking of having actual (if one-sided) conversations with people one has lost. If I've known them well over time then I can reply to myself from their POV. Doing so often clarifies my own thinking. Candle flames are good to talk to, they give a nice illusion of responses.

Teenagers do that too.

I just wanted to know if he'd planted tomatoes and harvested any. Why should it matter so much that I can't ask him that now?

It really is the smaller, cooler moments that make our connections; the things we don't need to ask, but want to know. I liked him so much, and never even met him. Hang in there.

That's really sad to hear -- my sympathies, Grace.

This is shocking news, and it's a struggle to contain my tears. Jesus and I had exchanged music back in the day, and I still owed him one -- I'd been thinking about it just the other day. We had compared notes about growing up in New England. My heart goes out to his loved ones. Thank you, Grace, for providing more context.

Very sad news. My condolences, Grace.

I never expected this and I'm shocked and saddened. James and I would meet every year or two here in Portland and I was looking forward to seeing him as soon as the plague let up. He was really an exemplary individual in many ways, and a great resource on music.

From TFA, just one day after 9 years to the day before his passing:
http://www.unfogged.com/archives/comments_11589.html

Comment 123 ff.

The picture of him with the announcement of his passing, on his timeline over at the Other Place, was taken at the just-opened shop. It was kind of a promo shot.
The wine shop partnership (there were two other partners) seemed like a good thing in many ways.

And other things I shouldn't share at the moment.
That was me he was referring to. (But let me be clear, his marriage was crumbling well before he met me.)

80: Emerson, no one expected this. If he actually knew he was so ill, he didn't let on to anyone or admit it to himself. Some of his friends saw some signs of the alcoholism starting a few years ago; a couple of people (including my sister) saw him looking alarmingly unwell just a few weeks before he crashed, but he was dealing with some other temporary health issues that he wanted to believe were the cause of his fatigue and nausea and other stuff. After my sister reported to me what she saw, I gave him an opportunity to confide in me about what was going on, but he did not. I think the plague created multiple conditions that made him drink more, and drink unseen and unaccountable for it.

I'm behind on the news. This is so sad. Made sadder by the implication that it was avoidable.

His daughters were so alive to us through his wonderful stories of them, would definitely want to contribute to any fund for them.