From an institutional point of view, I don't see how a newspaper agrees to pay a four-digit bill for its critic when they are explicitly not writing a review. Maybe I missed something, maybe she was assigned to write an essay that did not constitute a review, like this if it had not gone sideways.
I'll take the semi-OT opportunity to repeat my recommendation for Boiling Point. The more I think about it the better it gets.
The tip is ridiculous. A quarter would be a 25% tip, or more if you aren't expected to tip on the tax.
1: I think, from reading the article, she paid for the whole meal up front (weird thing to do in a restaurant) and then sent her date a note through Venmo asking him to pay half.
This bit jumped out at me:
Mortifyingly, I want to cry. I can feel tears welling along my lower lashes. Partially this is because Keller's vulnerability is arresting, like hearing your dad tell you he's scared. But, straight-A student that I am, I'm also unaccustomed to being reprimanded, and this feels unfair.
Mackenzie, you are clearly a delicate fragile flower of a girl, a little sensitive fern frond, a tiny gasping emaciated baby bird, and yet you have chosen to become a restaurant critic, a career in which you must frequently and very publicly denigrate the life's work of a series of dedicated, unstable, egotistical and loud-voiced men who habitually carry long sharp knives. You may wish to rethink your life choices.
And I think she's a bit disingenuous to be so puzzled that he's upset about a review that accused him of cultural appropriation in the headline and the first nine paragraphs.
(The reviewer himself wasn't a Latino but an Asian, which just tops it off beautifully)
That was a fun piece. It seemed fair, not overly negative, and a good way to make sense of the whole weird experience. Throwing out a critic is a bad look, but I suppose he may be in the nothing to lose stage of his career. Stuffing them like a veal calf is only slightly better.
Imagine a time when a critic could remain anonymous - what a different world. I suppose in this era anyone through your door could be the one who shits on you on trip advisor or google maps.
I use a slow food app for Italian restaurants. They send someone and do a writeup for every restaurant. They are filtering by philosophy, so I suppose they don't need to visit every restaurant in Italy. But I get the impression from the writeups that they are up front in their visits - they write about the owners like they chatted with them.
6: she's disingenuous? It wasn't her review, if I recall correctly.
At first I was going to say he was taking it a bit far to be so up in arms about the cultural appropriation bit. But then I went back and clicked through. Yeah, it does really beat that poor, dead horse a bit hard.
Still, tough shit. What you said for her goes double for him. You're running a restaurant that costs $500 a head? You're gonna get some knocks. Put your big boy pants on.
Beating a dead horse is less cruel than beating a live horse.
she's disingenuous? It wasn't her review, if I recall correctly.
No, it wasn't (it was by Soleil Ho) but she referred to it in her piece. (I love the fact that they couldn't find an actual Latin reviewer to be attractively outraged at the cultural appropriation of a white bloke selling tacos, so they handed it off to an Asian because, eh, close enough).
What you said for her goes double for him. You're running a restaurant that costs $500 a head? You're gonna get some knocks. Put your big boy pants on.
Very true, but I think he gave as good as he got - he didn't simply kick her out, which would have given her fuel for satisfying outrage, he just behaved in a really weird and unsettling way for the entire evening.
On the weird and unsettling front, no-one does it better than Ralph Fiennes.
I keep meaning to see that film - looks very good.
Speaking of film recommendations and India (in the other thread) let me re-up my recommendation for Payal Kapadia's wonderful All We Imagine As Light.
I really like the review a friend of mine from India gave it:
An incredible film -- and an intensely political one, in a way that's maybe lost on Western audiences. Critics are focusing on the dreamy, lyrical qualities in All We Imagine as Light, and these are no doubt there and critical to the tenor of the film. Less remarked upon is that this is a a film about three women trapped in and struggling against overlapping structures of social oppression (economic, religious, gender-based), with the power of the patriarchy as the unifying thread. Indeed, the entire film can be read as the slow political awakening of its central character, achieved precisely when she mentally breaks of her marriage.
All that aside, the film has some absolutely beautiful night shots of Bombay. And it has an incredible sense of specificity and lived-in richness that's hard to express if you're not familiar with the contours of an Indian (or perhaps global south) metropolis.
it's one of my favorite films of the year and I can't recommend it enough.
The way to review restaurants anonymously is for newspapers to grab people walking out after dining at random and offer to reimburse them for the meal if they can write a review.
a review that accused him of cultural appropriation
I love the fact that they couldn't find an actual Latin reviewer to be attractively outraged at the cultural appropriation of a white bloke selling tacos, so they handed it off to an Asian because, eh, close enough
But Soleil Ho didn't "accuse" Thomas Keller of cultural appropriation. Nor did she express outrage. She acknowledged the fact that a lot of the online chatter about the restaurant concerned cultural appropriation; took the opportunity to discuss the meaning of the term; and concluded that the term was not useful when talking about Thomas Keller's restaurant, which she praised for thoughtfully, respectfully and successfully innovating Mexican food. I don't know why you're trying to depict Ho or Chung Fegan as excessively touchy and offended, but your take doesn't seem to be supported by Ho's review or Chung Fegan's.
Somehow I didn't realize until now that the French Laundry is not in San Franscisco.
The Menu was a fun watch. I'm not sure it holds up to a close reading, but boy was I entertained.
Fiennes of course is great, but also I'm always happy to see Tony Stonem get good work.
It makes sense as you need San Francisco level money to go to the French Laundry.
There is, or was, a cheaper bistro run by the Laundry people. I had a very nice dinner there sometime in the last millennium.
Bouchon Bistro, I believe. Median entree only $45!
That sounds about right. But there was no Arby's in town. So what else could you do?
Yountville appears 100% fast-food-free, to my surprise. The only three places in town labeled with a single dollar sign on Google are a pizzeria, a taqueria, and a creperie. You need to dive 10 miles south to Napa for your franchises.
Why is that surprising? It seems like exactly the kind of place that would have no fast food. (Well, one of the kinds of places.)
Sounds like a perfect place for a new upscale/downscale bed and breakfast called "Arby & B".
A town isn't just one thing. You could also surmise that about Napa, but it wouldn't be true.
The next town up the road - St Helena - explicitly forbids chain restaurants. With the exception of one grandfathered-in A&W - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Helena%2C_California#Economy.
"In 2019, when Keller recognized Ho at the French Laundry, he sent over a glass bong -- 'the kind you use to smoke drugs,' Ho wrote -- filled with mushroom soup."
Which he had been, uh, saving in the kitchen for when that one person turned up. Yeah. That's it.
I assumed it was like the "good dishes" and most guests just got a joint rolled in paper from old menus.
There's probably multiple Jollibees in Vallejo. It's not that long of a drive.
I've never been to one, but from the menu it does not look like it provides slices of meat from a giant mashed together ball of meat. Not going to substitute for Arby's.
"But Soleil Ho didn't "accuse" Thomas Keller of cultural appropriation."
What was the headline of the review?
Merriam-Webster defines the verb "accuse" as "blame," or "charge with fault or offense." Ho is clear that she doesn't think that Keller's use of Mexican ingredients or techniques is blameworthy or offensive; to the contrary, she praises his restaurant for it. I don't why you want to imagine outrage or offense when the texts don't support it.
Why would you call a restaurant "French Laundry"? Do people ever bring their dirty clothes?
I thought this was an interesting piece on a couple of levels: the hurt feeligns of a serious restaurant professional placed under journalistic scrutiny; the privileged reporter complaining about being treated like a reporter; and (as Minivet points out) Keller's expectation of deferential treatment.
The story is well-written and thoughtful. I particularly liked the choice to reach out to Michael Bauer to confirm his purported friendship with Keller.
But I found myself not much liking the reporter as a human being. She was, as the headline says, given an "extraordinary night," but she doesn't seem at all grateful for it, and doesn't draw any deeper lesson out of it.
Keller's livelihood depends on public admiration, so of course he's going to be pissed off about being publicly mocked. Chung Fegan, meanwhile, also conducts her profession in public, and also doesn't like being subject to criticism.
Plus, what kind of reporter for an Old Media outlet can afford the French Laundry?
They serve lots of soup. Even if you start with clean clothes, you'll need laundry service after.
39 last: There's always money for ridiculous luxuries. It's decent wages for regular employees that they can't afford.
Am I right in thinking that she paid her bill in advance? Is that normal?
39.last I assume that to survive in SF on a journalist's pay you have to inherit or marry money.
I don't know if it's still true but for quite a while journalism had a reputation as one of those professions where the low salaries end up turning away a lot of people who need more money, leaving wealthier people to take the unpaid or low paid jobs that lead to bigger jobs.
I did a few searches and I'm guessing Fegan has some wealth based on her family's background running successful restaurants. Or at least that background implies that she would be comfortable going to expensive restaurants and being treated the way I presume people accustomed to going to expensive restaurants expect to be treated.
I must admit the little vignette of the other reviewer, Melissa Clark - you know, the "recognizable figure, with her glossy red hair and angular jaw" - turning up in a comically obvious wig and trying desperately to stick to her cover story of being a New York yoga instructor called Emma is fantastic, and it's a strike against Fegan that she doesn't seem to realise how funny it is.
"In 2019, when Keller recognized Ho at the French Laundry, he sent over a glass bong -- 'the kind you use to smoke drugs,' Ho wrote -- filled with mushroom soup."
Which he had been, uh, saving in the kitchen for when that one person turned up. Yeah. That's it.
Apparently yes! Because he gave Melissa Clark the same bong full of soup as well (or, at least, a bong full of soup; might have been a different bong) when she turned up five years later. (Ho got it in 2019, Clark got it on the ludicrous "Yoga Emma" visit which was in preparation for a review published in November 2024. And she didn't even write the review!)
The guy has a glass bong in a cupboard somewhere, and has had for almost a decade, which he only digs out when he recognises a New York Times reviewer, in order to fill it with soup and send it to the table. That's incredible.
The most parsimonious assumption is a timeline that looks like this:
2016: Ho visits restaurant, writes review that says "lol, your soup looks like bong water, dude"
2016: Keller furious, devises intricate, Borgiaesque plan of revenge, buys glass bong
2016-2019: Keller sits alone in office with blinds down, stroking bong, muttering "soon... soon"
2019: Ho visits restaurant again, Keller recognises him and deploys Soup Bong
Slightly later in 2019: Soup Bong is carefully washed and dried and put away in special Soup Bong locker
2019-2024: Soup Bong lurks, inactive but ready, in Soup Bong Locker
2024: Clark visits restaurant pretending to be minor character from Sex in the City, Keller's acute intelligence penetrates the subterfuge
Very slightly later in 2024: "Mr President, a second bong full of soup has entered the restaurant"
2025: Fegan visits restaurant, Soup Bong maintains its deterrent posture, an unseen weapon of last resort, unmentioned but always present in the mind, like a Taifun-class bomber of the Northern Red Banner Fleet cruising silently beneath the chilly waters of the Barents Sea
2029-2034: Soup Bong continues in service
2034: planned End Of Service date for Soup Bong, to be replaced by planned Gravy Enema Bag
Dear lord there are pics (google soup bong french laundry). Hilarious
The well prepared reviewer should keep a dead fly secreted on their person for this exact eventuality.
It is reminding me, inevitably, of Red Dwarf, specifically the episode in which Lister decides to make a real effort for dinner and instead of their normal plastic disposables, lays the table entirely with medical equipment.
CAT:
This is a scalpel! I'm supposed to cut my food with a scalpel? Something that has been inside someone's guts?
LISTER:
It's all been cleaned; it's all been washed; it's clean.
CAT:
Something that, long ago in history, may well have performed a certain popular Jewish operation? I'm supposed to eat with this?
LISTER:
Get the onion salads out of the fridge!
CAT:
"Embryo Refrigeration Unit"?!
LISTER:
How many times...? It's clean! It's been cleaned!
CAT opens the refrigerator door, muttering "onion salad" as he scans the contents of the refrigerator.
LISTER:
They're in the kidney bowls, next to the colostomy bag with the chilli sauce in it.
I'm thinking that the flow chart for spotting restaurant reviewers looks like
1) Giant dark glasses/Aviators/Mask? go to 2.
2) Check for wig, get out reviewer photo files and start checking.
I mean, I guess there are only so many ways to disguise yourself, but showing up in unexplained aviators (really?!) seems like worse than not trying.
That is not fed which from old newsrooms doth hie
And with strange aeons even French may fry
I wonder if there's anyone out there capitalising on their naturally angular jawline to go to posh restaurants in big sunnies and a silly wig in order to get really nice meals by loudly denying (truthfully) that they are Melissa Clark.
showing up in unexplained aviators (really?!) seems like worse than not trying.
I like the fact that chill seems to be angriest not about the sunglasses themselves, but that Fegan didn't even try to come up with a convincing explanation for them.
(loudly, while taking off coat) "Well, I'm not saying that the Grumman F-14D Tomcat isn't the premier naval air superiority fighter of the late Cold War era, but you can't deny that flying it does leave one a trifle peckish."
"You mean, you feel the need."
"The need to feed."
I did a rewatch of Twin Peaks early this year and this is reminding me of the episodes where there was a rumor that some much feared restaurant critic was going to be paying a visit to the Double R Diner and it has Norma all in a tizzy.
I still like the Simpsons episode where Ed Asner makes Homer the food critic.
I do keep meaning to watch Twin Peaks.
42: For a restaurant at that tier, I believe it is normal to put down a large advance deposit which might go as high as the full expected cost of the meal.
Just like how you need to pay for gas before they turn on the pump.
Otherwise you could refuse to pay up if someone photographed you dining out during lockdown and triggered a recall election.
47: Soleil Ho's preferred pronouns appear to be they/them and is a "young queer woman" (or was 6 years ago) according to the WaPo:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/food/soleil-ho-is-a-young-queer-woman-of-color-who-wants-to-redefine-food-criticism/2019/03/07/d76eb89e-3eca-11e9-a0d3-1210e58a94cf_story.html
Online images of the individual in question show someone who presents as conventionally female.
If you were going to refer to them as male ("2019: Ho visits restaurant again, Keller recognises [sic] him and deploys Soup Bong") it should have been in order to alliterate (very loosely) along the lines of "Ho..., he ..., his ..., ... him".
Okay, are 36 and 65 the same person?
keller once attempted to convince my child of the unsurpassable quality of in-n-out french fries. the kid was not impressed, & put the boot further in by staunchly proclaiming the cheeseboard's "brioche" preferable to bouchon bakery's.* keller was wounded enough to mention this to a mutual connection. the kid was not yet 4 yrs old.
i've been in the fl kitchen for an entire dinner service (ate st keller's stand up desk) & none of the details seem remotely implausible.
* despite my having explained to him more than once that cb's "brioche" is really a kugelhof variant & not a brioche at all.
keller once attempted to convince my child of the unsurpassable quality of in-n-out french fries.
This is pretty incredible. For those east of the Rockies: most humans find the fries the part of In-N-Out something to, at best, put up with for the sake of the burgers. I admit the potatoes may be decent quality, taken as ingredients - but notoriously, they're single-fried!
I just typed into Google "why are in n out" and the first two autocompletes (not previous searches) were "fries so bad/dry".
I've never been to an In-N-Out. I thought it was a brothel when I was near one in California.
this was 20+ years ago, maybe the fry landscape in city of napa was different then? who knows. could be his loyalty stemmed from them being his after shift late night comfort food of choice, kitchen people can be v weird about that.
best fries in sf, currently, imo are at 4505 on divisadero.
Keller's been an award-winning chef for 30 years - even then he must have had plenty of choice around the country if he was interested in what the acme of fries was.
In-n-out is bad.
I do like Shake Shack a lot though.
In-N-Out burgers are good, actually.
Since Mr. Keller is a such a great chef, shouldn't we defer to his opinion on food? Or at least assume he must have a particular aesthetic of french fries that we should try to understand?
i'm not sure what you are arguing , that
i've made up a strange conversation between keller & my then 3 yr old 20+ yrs on to post on an obscure website,
or
despite years of experience myself working in high end bay area food & wine & many more years with a large proportion of my friend group still in the food-wine world it couldn't possibly be the case that people working in that business cultivate low rent late night post shift bad food favorites that they legitimately become attached to -
?
I don't think anyone is suggesting you're fibbing. I definitely didn't mean that, apologies if that was conveyed; I was just expressing wonder.
I think your explanation that his tastes here are more attachment than expert discrimination makes the most sense.
bob's donuts are greeted with untrammelled glee in kitchens sending out amazing deserts.
bob's donuts are greeted with untrammelled glee in kitchens sending out amazing deserts.
76: Burgers good. Fries bad. Don't think they double fry.
70: Have uou ever seen the gas station/ convenience store chain Kum & Go?
Yes. There are some around Nebraska.
I actually like In'N'Out fries. Definitely different than most other fries though, and I'd never get just fries from them. Also, never get the fries from the one near the San Jose airport on Coleman.
San Jose is big enough to have two of the same chain?
"i've been in the fl kitchen for an entire dinner service (ate st keller's stand up desk) & none of the details seem remotely implausible."
DID YOU SEE THE SOUP BONG
"bob's donuts are greeted with untrammelled glee in kitchens sending out amazing deserts."
Dq writes absolutely fiendish cryptic crossword clues.
I mean, let's see, I think "amazing dessert" must mean "bombe", as in bombe surprise. Amazing means the same as surprising. Or rather "bombes" because it's "desserts" plural.
And "sending out" implies that we're dropping some letters.
So it's an anagram of "bob's donuts" and "untrammelled glee" from which BOMBES has been removed. (We've "sent out" the letters BOMBES.) That's an absolute beast. Don't even know how many letters it is.
Wait no I've got it. It isn't an anagram at all.
The answer's "CHERRY PIE". "donuts" is a misdirection - it doesn't mean literal doughnuts, it's talking about "doing donuts", like turning in very tight circles. The idea of an entity called bob who misdirects people to go round and round in circles is a clear reference to "Twin Peaks", and the iconic dessert in "Twin Peaks", eaten and enjoyed by Agent Cooper on several occasions, is cherry pie.
I bet Barry got that in like five seconds.
89 did you use the bombe to decipher that?
92.1: Then both of you pick out a damn handle. Or remember to type it, if you have one.