Re: Escorted

1

Maybe golf gives older men erections? I never get why people golf, but maybe I've been missing something.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 5:24 AM
horizontal rule
2

Is that why golfers wear two pairs of pants?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 5:33 AM
horizontal rule
3

I think that's because there's no bathrooms.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 5:34 AM
horizontal rule
4

1: Golf? Where did that even come from?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 5:48 AM
horizontal rule
5

Inference. She says that dating men her age involved listening to golf stories.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 5:50 AM
horizontal rule
6

I'm puzzled by Mitch. I mean I doubt I would have done any better in that situation, but then I wouldn't advertise as a male escort.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 5:50 AM
horizontal rule
7

You have to think like a scientist. Always be hypothesizing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 5:51 AM
horizontal rule
8

Scotland.

Alternatively: Wolfsburg.


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 5:56 AM
horizontal rule
9

Mitch, Mitch, masturbate, Mitch.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 6:12 AM
horizontal rule
10

9: I don't understand this either. I get that after Mitch you would need to masturbate, but why go back to him after masturbating?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 6:45 AM
horizontal rule
11

And then if you're stuck associating Mitch with Mitch McConnell, this is particularly disturbing.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 6:46 AM
horizontal rule
12

For those who kiss and publish:

Mitch, Mitch, masturbate, snitch

If at first you don't succeed and try, try again:

Mitch, Mitch, masturbate, switch

If you tend toward Madame Defarge:

Mitch, Mitch, decapitate, stitch


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 6:49 AM
horizontal rule
13

I'm really glad I clicked through the article because I was beginning to think this was about Mitch McConnell


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 6:55 AM
horizontal rule
14

You've got grandmothers giving away handjobs in the theater, so it's hard to find a good man if you want to focus on your needs too.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 6:56 AM
horizontal rule
15

I'm inclined to defend Mitch (I'm sure that reveals a lot about me), but reading the details of the massage, it's hard. Outside that hour-and-forty-minute segment where they're actually trying to get down to business, he seems like a basically competent professional outside his comfort zone. A 70-year-old woman hiring an escort for the first time sounds like it's pretty rare. Inside it, though, wow.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 7:06 AM
horizontal rule
16

I suspect straight women hiring male escorts are thin enough on the ground there may not be a great ecosystem for it. On top of the expectable huge quality variance from illegality (plus payment processors & sometimes prosecutors policing websites that might increase transparency).

I'll be interested to see if she tells the story of her second try.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 7:10 AM
horizontal rule
17

Although looking at her profile to see what else she's posted, I guess she's Australian, and I think it's legal there when kept indoors?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 7:11 AM
horizontal rule
18

Lol: someone on her personal Substack feed charges her with "entitlement" for asking for her money back.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 7:12 AM
horizontal rule
19

17: Because of the lethal spiders, you should always keep your sex life indoors in Australia.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 7:18 AM
horizontal rule
20

But don't hesitate to go camping.


Posted by: Opinionated Dingoes | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 7:21 AM
horizontal rule
21

13 before seeing 11


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 7:26 AM
horizontal rule
22

Inside it, though, wow.

Inside of a male escort, it's too dark to read.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 7:51 AM
horizontal rule
23

Septuagenarian seeks escort for massage, repartee. No Mitch.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 8:01 AM
horizontal rule
24

It's nice that "being Matt Taibbi" is clearly a career path open to 70-year-old female Australian sleazebags as well as 30-year-old male American sleazebags.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 8:13 AM
horizontal rule
25

Mitch, glitch, masturbate, switch.
Itch, itch, medicate, reminisce.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 8:16 AM
horizontal rule
26

Sometimes, it seem like 70 percent of the articles I see are women complaining about men. And I'll concede that in general, men are horrible, but these articles are most often about men that aren't horrible just mediocre, and/or not what this particular woman wants. In this case, the woman could just say she doesn't find men her own age attractive and they often have difficulty maintaining erections. That would probably be more honest.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 8:17 AM
horizontal rule
27

I think that's an algorithm issue. It seems like 70% of the articles I see are about military aircraft.

I have also, somehow, persuaded Instagram that I am Nigerian, so a good share of the stuff it recommends is from Nigerian social media, which is quite a way to get insight into a country about which I would otherwise know virtually nothing. Maybe this is a cookie issue from my occasional visits to the BBC's Pidgin News service.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 8:21 AM
horizontal rule
28

The algorithm feeds me monkey videos incessantly.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 8:28 AM
horizontal rule
29

Los monos están muy divertidos.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 8:58 AM
horizontal rule
30

Los monos son muy divertidos.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 9:06 AM
horizontal rule
31

24. Aww, she's not a sleazebag. She's a 70-year old woman who wants sex, and enters a consensual arrangement with a very well-remunerated professional to get it.

I also think 26 is unfair - I read this less as a complaint about the crumminess of men (or Mitch), as a lament about how older women are viewed as so unsexual that even a hired sex professional can't conceive of giving her more than a kiss and a cuddle.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 9:17 AM
horizontal rule
32

I think maybe he just wasn't a very good sex professional. But not my area of expertise.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 9:29 AM
horizontal rule
33

Maybe Mitch was a sex amateur trying to break into the pros.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 9:48 AM
horizontal rule
34

Like on The Ultimate Fighter. Tough break, Mitch. Need to work on your grappling. Chad advances to Round 2.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 9:53 AM
horizontal rule
35

Maybe he was a cop who expected she would take his kidney.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 9:55 AM
horizontal rule
36

31.2: I don't think it was the main point of the article, but this is standard woman complains about the crumminess of men.

I had been on dating apps in my 50s and 60s, but got off that treadmill a few years ago. I grew tired of listening to men as they complained about exes, yearned for deceased wives, listed medical complaints, moaned or gloated about retirement funds, or prattled on about their golf handicaps.

I was sick of holding the space for someone who gave nothing back. There was nothing sexy about a man fascinated with himself, winded after a short walk, clueless in the kitchen, or eager to split the bill over two coffees.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 11:42 AM
horizontal rule
37

Mitch, Mitch, M/tch, Mitch.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 12:44 PM
horizontal rule
38

And Motch.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 12:52 PM
horizontal rule
39

The great thing about people who pay hookers because they can't get the respect they feel they deserve from anyone else is that, purely by doing so, they confirm that they were in fact getting the respect they deserved from everyone else, ie none.


Posted by: Ajay | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 12:57 PM
horizontal rule
40

And the difference between Taibbi paying Russian teenagers because he's sick of Western women being feminist harridans, and Gail paying Mitch because she's sick of men her own age being golf bores, is really one of degree rather than kind.


Posted by: Ajay | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 12:59 PM
horizontal rule
41

Golf does suck though.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 1:02 PM
horizontal rule
42

They both wear plaid pants?
They both try to minimize strokes?
They both keep score?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 1:06 PM
horizontal rule
43

I always assumed Taibbi ABD related Johns were somehow responsible for Putin becoming dictator of Russia.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 1:12 PM
horizontal rule
44

Stupid phone.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 1:16 PM
horizontal rule
45

39: I am not sure paying for sex necessarily has anything to do with wanting respect.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 1:21 PM
horizontal rule
46

people who pay hookers

I think they're called buysexuals.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 1:25 PM
horizontal rule
47

Pansexuals give sex a bad review.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 1:54 PM
horizontal rule
48

36 to 45.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 2:04 PM
horizontal rule
49

47: at least they won't be hopeless in the kitchen.


Posted by: Ajay | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 2:05 PM
horizontal rule
50

A chicken sexer and a chicken sexual are very different.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 2:14 PM
horizontal rule
51

Probably.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 2:15 PM
horizontal rule
52

Probablosexual.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 2:53 PM
horizontal rule
53

I'm not the ostrich sexer, I'm the ostrich sexer's son.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 3:21 PM
horizontal rule
54

ostrichsexersonsexual.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 5:48 PM
horizontal rule
55

Can you deduct a prostitute as a business expense if you write a story about your encounter? I know that Dave Barry used to make jokes about how he was write a column about his family vacation so he could deduct it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 6:43 PM
horizontal rule
56

16: I suspect straight women hiring male escorts are thin enough on the ground there may not be a great ecosystem for it.

As a SWer friend of mine says "Pay for dick? It's available free at any bus stop."


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 7:28 PM
horizontal rule
57

"The service I requested wasn't delivered; I asked for a refund."
Mitch better have my money.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 7:55 PM
horizontal rule
58

57 made me laugh.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 8:53 PM
horizontal rule
59

46 if they only pay classy hookers they are hetaerasexuals.


Posted by: Ajay | Link to this comment | 07-29-25 10:36 PM
horizontal rule
60

CLEARLY off-topic:

Pokey is going to be a chamberlan* in his friend's quinceañera and I am weak with the cuteness of this.

*a new word for me, but basically a groomsman


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 4:55 AM
horizontal rule
61

Can he wear those boots with the pointed, curved toes?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 4:57 AM
horizontal rule
62

He just needs a piece of paper to have in his hand.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 5:24 AM
horizontal rule
63

Through no fault of my own, I have been given a life-size Plusle.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 5:28 AM
horizontal rule
64

Can a doctor do something to cut it off?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 5:30 AM
horizontal rule
65

I think it needs to be grounded?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 5:35 AM
horizontal rule
66

Pronounced "Plool".


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 5:53 AM
horizontal rule
67

24, 40: Just because I haven't been bickering on the internet enough lately, I'm going to bicker about this.

Fundamentally, I agree that buying sexual services at all is at least kind of gross and I disapprove. However, there is a real difference of kind rather than of degree between buying sex from abused or coerced sex workers, which seems to cover Taibbi with the Russian teenagers, and buying sex from a well-compensated consenting adult. The first is absolutely wrong, and the second is something that makes me kind of queasy, but I'm not going to stand behind my queasiness as a significant moral judgment.

(I usually end up making this argument about Eliot Spitzer, whose scandalous behavior as governor of NY was patronizing adult sex workers who, as far as one could tell from the reporting, weren't being abused. Gross, but as sex scandals go pretty minimal.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 6:05 AM
horizontal rule
68

His head looked wrong though.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 6:09 AM
horizontal rule
69

Spitzer, you mean? I worked with a bunch of people who had worked with him, and the overwhelming impression was that he was very competent, very good on policy, a humane and thoughtful manager who was excellent about recognizing good work in his underlings, and personally loathsome on a visceral level: no concrete complaints but he kind of made peoples skin crawl.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 6:15 AM
horizontal rule
70

It's because of his head.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 6:16 AM
horizontal rule
71

I'm not sure how to define it except to say that it reminds me of Bill Cowher.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 6:22 AM
horizontal rule
72

61: I think he has to learn how to spin straw into gold first.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 6:29 AM
horizontal rule
73

Through no fault of my own, I have been given a life-size Plusle.

I wasn't expecting to google and get a result that was so familiar.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 6:31 AM
horizontal rule
74

I haven't played Pokémon Go since Ash Wednesday.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 6:32 AM
horizontal rule
75

I'm trying to be on my phone less, so I'm going to dog fights instead.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 6:38 AM
horizontal rule
76

life-size Plusle

So, 41cm height?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 7:19 AM
horizontal rule
77

The recent comments bar reminds me of how when I went to the UKHO archives in Taunton to do research (incredible collection and wonderful staff) I had to wear a thick bright red lanyard that said "ESCORTED ESCORTED ESCORTED..." in white lettering because it's a Royal Navy installation.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 7:55 AM
horizontal rule
78

And they just assumed you hired a prostitute?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 8:06 AM
horizontal rule
79

74: An assload of new Pokemon have been released since then.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-30-25 8:25 AM
horizontal rule