D-squared is always a pleasure to read. Sometimes I dream about he and James Wolcott getting into a pissing match for some reason. I warrant the verbal pyrotechnics would be astounding.
Pity I don't have the writing chops to attempt any Wolcott/Davies grudgematch fan fiction.
a gawker.com blind item today may hint at that last question:
..We promptly went in, tried on shoes, and the only available seat was on the same bench as the couple! Jude Law is extremely hot with his hair a couple inches longer than the closely-cropped 'do he sported in Alfie, however, he has gi-normous feet.
I was trying to think of something funny to say, but I can't top the pure deadpan of this.
Yes but
The researchers measured the men's penises when soft and gently stretched.
While the true size of the penis can only be determined when erect, the researchers said that their method provided a good indication of length.
How can we accept research that doesn't respect the shower/grower distinction?
I've heard them referred to as "bluffers." In any case, my dear naive Labs, usually what makes a bluffer a bluffer is that it's always partially engorged (or so I'm given to understand), not that it's long when limp but short when erect. But I have a feeling that I'm out of my depth here, and about to hear it from girl27.
Ah, my dear Ogged, I suspect that you mistake the thrust of my criticism. The point I raise is: there's so much variation in the flaccid/erect length ratio that we can't really conclude, as the researchers do, that there's no shoe-penis correlation, since we don't have the real data about length.
variation
Not that I've done any extensive field research on the subject, but wouldn't stretching a flaccid penis give a pretty decent estimation of how much it would extend when engorged? I mean, it can only get as big as it can stretch, right? I think it's the "gently" stretching that may be introducing uncertainty. They needed to tug like they meant it.
I nominate w-lfs-n for "Field Assistant."
"Ah, my dear Ogged, I suspect that you mistake the thrust of my criticism. The point I raise is: there's so much variation in the flaccid/erect length ratio that we can't really conclude, as the researchers do, that there's no shoe-penis correlation, since we don't have the real data about length."
Sigh. This paragraph was really coming along, but it rather petered out at the end.
While I appreciate BW's succinctness, the answer doesn't really provide much guidance. I understand the difference between flaccid and erect varies widely between members of the johnson crew. However, if you grab one and stretch it, there's a certain limit beyond which it cannot be stretched further without breaking either the penis, a law of physics, or a Geneva Convention somewhere. I would think that limit would be somewhere near (though not exactly at) the erect size because in an old-fashioned erection, the blood is simply inflating it to the point beyond which you really wouldn't want yours stretched.
Am I making sense?
But I have a feeling that I'm out of my depth here, and about to hear it from girl27
Hmmm?
You know, I had just been thinking about how today was pretty boring at Unfogged. Thank you, cock jokes. Are we still allowed to make fun of the names of the guys at "hard-core" Powerline?
Yes: stretching by hand or by blood is still stretching. I'm with you, apostropher, because I believe in science. Labs, ironically, is holding out hope for the magic infinitely growing penis.
God, I honestly never thought I'd find myself wondering about w-lfs-n's penis. Now I'm curious-- does it violate some law of nature?
w-lfs-n? You nominate W-LFS-N for the field assistant position?
Ogged. You know I'm well rounded. Please consider my application. I think you'd find me satisfying in any position.
Ogged, have you seen my feet?
Labs has to ask because he can't see them due to his enormous hand-stretched penis.
w-lfs-n's penis. Now I'm curious-- does it violate some law of nature?
It never misuses a colon, I'll tell you that much.
Lucikly, I have a degree in English, so I'm able to detect the subtle traces of a subtext here.
21 was meant as a response to 18, but-- surprisingly enough, given the context-- I wasn't quick enough. I nominate 19 and 20 for the Congressional Medal of Honor.
27, Labs and I have both noticed that that's dirty talk. And I'm not participating in this experiment so there's nothing in it for me, no matter how well-rounded you are. There might be other openings, however...
People! You have neglected the hypothesis that some peni increase in circumference, thus taking up some slack that might be used in length! Perhaps the artificial stretching procedure these folk used results in a longer, thinner penis than its natural state. Unfortunately the article did not include actual measurements* so we can't tell whether the ranges were at all realistic.
Oh, and ogged, if you muff this serve from girl27, baa is going to show up at your undisclosed location and whip you with rolled-up wet towels.
*measurements containing the letters 'cm' are not considered actual.
Weiner, appropriately, raises a good point. Maybe, with all this modern technology, it's time to replace the "length" measurement with the "volume" measurement. Then we can start talking about "total displacement," and attract the Nascar crowd.
This thread would be funnier with timestamps.
re: 30; are you seriously getting on my tip for picking up low-hanging fruit? Should I have said "fail to drive that softball deep with your big thick bat"?
Y'all must have either really short erect penises, or really long or rubbery flaccid penises.
I would imagine that when stretching a cock manually you're only able to pull on one particular part, while when one is engorged with blood the entire thing stretches--as Georg Lichtenberg once said, the whole wang must move together. Also, I would bet that the increased diameter actually helps the lengthwise expansion occur, though why I think this I'm not sure.
No, it was that "muffing the serve" sounds more like what we're encouraging.
Wolf, I think that if the part you pull on is on the end, in theory it pulls on the part next to it, and so on down the line. Except that I suspect in practice the parts that drive the expansion are on the inside--blood vessels and the like--and can't be accessed by external tip-pulling. So in that you'd be right. I can't help you with the diameter/length thing, and frankly I don't want to.
Timestamps! We drove him to it! Thank you thank you thank you ogged!
It's just for momentary comedic value; soon they'll be gone...
Tragically, I've been bumped to #2 in the only competition that matters.
Labs, I think the response I had planned actually goes over the line into actual frathouse/Fark territory. I wouldn't want to blow all my cred with bphd.
re 37, first part: even a moment's thought should convince you that this isn't the case, or at the very least, that the majority of the stretching occurs nearest the stretcher. One can easily demonstrate this by breaking a cock's neck (easier to do if you live in a neighborhood with a reasonable Hispanic presence). When you do so you will probably not observe that each vertabra in the neck breaks simultaneously, but rather that one breaks before any other, and it's the nearest one to the pulling hand.
Yeah, I totally like the clean look of no-timestamps, but they're needed to see why this thread is funny, if in fact it is.
Oh. My. God. I honestly cannot believe he just said that.
You're right, Matt, it's best to keep things respectable and dignified.
I didn't mean to cast any aspersions on Hispanic neighborhoods, you know, it's just that in my experience it's easier to buy live chickens in them. I apologize for any offense I might have given.
Yeah, b-wo, but we ain't pulling on shit till it breaks here. If you pull on a rubber band--a stretchy thing--the rubber band will stretch out along its whole length.
b-wo, I think the offense maybe comes from "breaking a cock." If you're going to be the Field Assistant with that kind of methodology, no one's going to sign the Human Subjects form.
Don't be facetious, Weiner. Very little in the human body is made out of a uniform elastic material. Sheesh. No wonder y'all are in the humanities.
Is there a Koufax for funniest comment thread? 19 and 20 here were amazing, and the rest is damn good.
It wouldn't have been worth saying, if I had said "rooster" or "chicken".
Whatever, I'm going home.
Don't be facetious, Weiner.
Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you no sense of decency?
This threat totally beats grading, though.
No, b-wo, I really don't get it. Even if your junk isn't uniformly elastic--assuming that the force required to stretch part A is still less than the force required to break part B--wouldn't pulling on the end get you to maximum external stretching just as well as pulling on several other places.
The cock's vertebrae, I think, are a red herring, because (AFAIK, I have no personal experience of this) you don't pull on the neck, you wring it.
Ho ho! I get to correct B-Woah's spelling.
The "stretch" theory seems like the sort of hypothesis the Internet was built for testing. Everybody go to the available bathroom, lock a stall door behind you, and report back in 5 minutes.
I think everyone went for a cigarette break.
Yup, that's exactly what we need the self-correcting, exaggeration-free Internet for.
Ogged, I just talked to baa, and he was soaking a towel in water.
he was soaking a towel in water
Maybe someone should explain the rules to him, then.
Can I express my results in scientific notation?
Back now. Stretching length is not equivalent to engorged length, and anyone who says differently is a damned liar!
Tim, first, I hope to god you're kidding. Second, you do realize that a single penis proves nothing, because the question isn't whether stretched and engorged are the same, but whether the ratio of stretched:engorged is roughly the same across penises?
Ogged, if you want to get all scientific about it, it probably wasn't a great idea to include only teenagers and pensioners. Do you realize how many time I had to type that before I stopped transposing the 'i' and 's' in pensioners? I'm not even going to bother finishing what I had to say.
Also, the results are clearly fraudulent, since they imply that they were able to find teenagers who weren't already fully stretched.
"Average age 54" kind of worried me, too...
About 4 penisoners to one teenager, if my math is correct. I'm glad b-wo isn't around to call me on the use-mention in 66.
Ogged:
As to both points, see the exclamation point at the end of the sentence.
Matt, you're actually wrong about rubber bands. The effect is just too small to see on most rubber bands you're likely to have lying about.
Think about it this way: let's say you've got cells (not the best word; I don't mean the biological kind but the general discrete-unit kind) which can stretch (at heart I suppose that is the case with the biological cells). A, B, C, etc, with A coming first. You pull on A, and it will stretch itself out as far as it can, and only at that point will your pulling on it communicate the force to B, and then when both A and B are maxed out will C start to stretch, usw. (That won't be perfectly accurate, but close enough.) But, while you're doing this, you're putting a lot of strain on A, since the only reason B is getting pulled is that A is essentially at its breaking point (and would break if it couldn't communicate the stress down to B). So you can't achieve maximal stretch, becaues A, B, etc would be in great pain by the time you got to Z. If you have a long enough piece of elastic you could verify this in the following way: put pairs of equidistant dots 20, 40, 60 and 80 percent along the elastic, say a centimeter apart (or some other reasonable distance depending on the length of the elastic. Then stretch it out various amounts, and measure the new distance between the dots. I am willing to bet that if you started with a piece of elastic that was five feet long (ask your local junkie) you would observe that the dots nearest the stretched end were further apart than those nearest the base. Basically what I'm saying is that you couldn't possibly communicate the stretching all the way down the length of whatever you're stretching instantaneously (otherwise you could transmit information faster than the speed of light trivially), and barring that the only way to stretch something further along is to stretch something closer even more, and that's hard.
(Incidentally, the same dot-pair methodology will be applied in my forthcoming study on what parts of the penis expand first during engorgement, Differential Growth in Cock Parts, which I'm confident will finally net me the coveted Ig Nobel Prize in Biology. I think that it's got to be the base first, with the effects evening out as erection proceeds. By the way, if you already have all of your data, the most efficient way to build a heap is bottom-up.)
(Also, it's true that you don't pull on the neck but wring it (in general practice, anyway; apparently a good way to kill a chicken is to grab it by the head and do a kind of whip-crack with its body), but were you to pull on the head, what I described would happen, because the vertabrae are precisely the kind of semi-independent cells I'm talking about above.)
Your penis may defy laws of nature, B-Wo, but you sure can kill the mood.
b-wo, OK, that makes a lot of sense. And of course you have to build a heap from the bottom up--can't build it from the top down, because of gravity. The question is, how many grains of sand do you have to add to get one?
ogged, that link seems to answer the question: apparently stretched size is correlated to what counts. But why the hell does the word "team" there take you to "meet online and reduce costs"?
I believe it's also a consequence of Hook's Law that it's easier to pull a length of elastic to maximum extension (or maybe it only applies to springs? I'm sure something similar holds for stretchy things in general) by first pulling a short amount nearest the base out as far as possible, then fixing it down, then pulling the next piece up, etc, than by pulling it all the way out from the top, since (IIRC) it takes 4 times more energy to pull the elastic 2 times further out.
Hooke's law, bitch. I've been reading the Baroque Cycle.
On one hand, I want this thread to set a new Unfogged record for time to 100, but, on the other hand, I'm afraid of what w-lfs-n will do if this goes on much longer.
I'm calling BS on w-lfs-n. His conception of cells seems wrong - that cell A must maximally expend before B expands...well, I can't find any reason for this to be true. What is true is that each cell will have inertia, and the force translated from pulling on A will first have to overcome the inertia of cell B, but after the fraction of time that takes, then pulling on A will equally pull on B. So, if one pulls quickly on A, and it expands quickly but doesn't have enough time to overcome the inertia of B, A will break. But, pulling more slowly, A and B will expand at the same rate.
I feel inadquate for finally coming to this thread and not saying anything funny. Nuts.
Somehow it seems like it'd be appropriate to stretch this thread out unnaturally, but I really oughta be going. Do what you can.
Michael--that's totally the reason you feel inadequate, I'm sure.
Nothing I've said or done in this thread has been the least bit unreasonable.
Telling me not to be facetious is extraordinarily unreasonable in this or any context.
Ok, I fucking give up. I just did w-lfs-n's experiment with the rubber band and the dots. The dot nearest the pulling force moves much farther than the dot nearest the anchor. So fucking what?? How big's your finger???
Ok, I'm really going!
(In an effort to curb malicious comment posting by abusive users, I've enabled a feature that requires a weblog commenter to wait a short amount of time before being able to post again. Please try to post your comment again in a short while. Thanks for your patience. What is this bullshit? Unfortunately ogged and 27 are off doing measurements so I can't expect a quick answer. Not that I'd be able to get one, since I'm going.)
Matt,
before this, I could have made a snappy comeback by pointing out my size 12s.
Ok, I guess you're probably right about the first cell not needing to expand maximally before the second cell will start to expand, but I still think it will need to expand more. It's certainly true, though, that they couldn't all expand at exactly the same rate. Of that I'm certain (hence my use in the previous sentence of the word "certainly"). As for it being BS, of course it's BS. But I do think it's true, and I bet if we got an engineer or biologist or biological engineerogist or some such in here, I would be vindicated. Vindicated!
(previewing this comment & reading ogged's: Vindicated!)
Sorry Matt, that's an anti-spam thing. Why do they call her 27, anyway?
I suppose that "previewing..." bit of my last comment should have been a different comment, the better to help the push to 100, but then there's this comment I'm writing now, so it's a wash.
I don't think 100 is going to be a problem. I weep for the fact that we've gone from cock jokes to me at my desk with a Sharpie and a rubber band.
88 was composed before viewing 87, of course.
damn ogged and his empircal evidence! him and his "rubber band." (sure, sure)
Needless to say, 87 was composed before viewing 88. Still, it's not like I threw in the towel completely.
I can't believe no one's made the "Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day" joke.
Well you know ogged the last time I attempted a cock joke you were all like "dude u need therapy".
It really says something about us, ogged, that you're running some rubber band experiments and I'm thinking "I can't wait to see the results of those experiments." What it says, of course, is ugly and hurtful.
What's really really sad, Michael, is that I saw it, and decided not to link to it, because the methodology was insufficiently rigorous. This was before I broke out the rubber band.
There are pick-up lines, and lines that bring the date to a close. w-lfs-n's finishing touch: "Who you gonna believe, me, or your lyin' eyes?"
Alternatively, "Well, wikipedia says you came."
At last I have something to put on my business cards!
104 was in reference to 99, not 103 or 102, whose seeming malice I just don't comprehend.
This conversation is discouragingly male-dominated. ("And over at the frat room that is Unfogged, the boys spend all day talking about their weiners.") I had a friend (female) who believed she could roughly gage penis size based upon body type.
Ogged, that probably didn't come across the way I meant it--I realized it was an anti-spam thing, but I figure frequent malicious comments by abusive users (there you go, ben) is pretty much the raison d'etre of this blog these days. Not like it's my blog.
Were it "boy27" I would claim metric measurement.
(ps, I know, I know. In my defense, I ran into some human beings in the corridor and talked to them.)
Michael, there's only one of me, you don't own me, and very few of the comments were actually about me anyhow.
The conversation is male dominated, because I'm busy down here measuring.
As for body type, I guess right most of the time, but sometimes I'm surprised. I find that the best indicator is personality.
Too bad the timestamps are gone now, so we can't see if this wins the "Fastest to 100" contest.
(Though the timestamps remain on comment preview!)
the best indicator is personality
"The apostropher is possessed of a hearty, outgoing weiner, while w-lfs-n's member might best be described as shy, and retiring."
Interesting. Is this blog enough of an indicator of Ogged's personality? (just to note, I will not be asking a follow-up question)
Nope. Doesn't quite work that way.
Funny, though... the two people you singled out are the same two that I did. And (sorry) my guess is it's the other way 'round.
Did you just tell the apostropher that he's undersized? I'm staying out of this one.
In other news, w-lfs-n is on his way to your house.
Sweet. I knew w-lfs-n'd come round eventually.
And no, I did not just tell the Apostropher he's undersized.
Ya'know it doesn't really feel like a 100-ct. with out PG or BPhD around. And if ever there was a thread that cried out for BPhD to exact whatever retribution she felt was her due for the frathouse atmosphere, this is it.
Not a joke or anything; I'm just sayin'.
Well, I'm in possession of a hearty, outgoing apostropher, so BOO-YAH!
You don't know much about women, do you Tim?
I'm offline the rest of the evening. Stay away, comment spammers!
I'm in possession of a hearty, outgoing apostropher
Yes, you are, sir. Yes, you are.
You don't know much about women, do you Tim?
Well, let's see. Guy who makes snarky asides on an internet forum that has been described by the owner as a "sausage fest." What are the odds?
I was with w-lfs-n before I started reading this thread. If you've ever hand stretched an old spring, the gap spacing is uneven.
Then I saw the BBC thing and noticed that the said the MINIMUM size for 'gently stretched' was SIX cm. Holy shit. That required whipping out the ruler and, yeah, six cm. is tiny.
(But then, I heard it reported that the average testicle was roughly grape-sized, which I personally find freakish. They must be lying.)
Anyways, soft versus otherwise with a ruler clearly indicates the maximum size via 'gently stretching' (not really painful) is much shorter than actual erect length. I expect this mainly has to do with blood pressure inflation maximizing the size of each cell as opposed to simply tugging until it hurts which does not maximize each cell.
I expect that people of the endowed with other-than- male-genetalia can understand the distinction by visualizing the difference between breast sizes involved in 1> nursing and 2> having someone yank on your nipple. If that doesn't do it for ya, you can imagine the difference between clitoris sizes involved when sexually excited versus having the gyno yank on the thing with one of those cold steel doohickeys during a yearly. (After all a clitoris and a penis are essentially the same organ. Or start out as the same organ, anyways.)
As for this stuff:
MEAN VALUES OF SELF-RANKED ENDOWMENT STATUS
Erect Length
Modest
141.5mm (5.6")
Average
161.8mm (6.4")
Endowed
181.1mm (7.1")
Erect Circumference
Modest
117.6mm (4.6")
Average
127.4mm (5.0")
Endowed
137.8mm (5.4")
I'm not sure whether to laugh or not. It implies over-endowed is roughly 7.9" long and 6.0" round but doesn't mention it. (The scary part is, is that I assume the slef-reporters are exaggerating.)
I therefore make no comment.
ash
['Classy thread. I'll save the cock jokes for #151, on account of there being no timestamps and this tiny little text and this business with always dropping to the bottom of thread when opening a window.']
I expect that people of the endowed with other-than- male-genetalia can understand the distinction by visualizing...
We have readers like that?
It's sort of funny that a thread about penises would have roughly the arc of a bad sexual encounter. Hard to see this without the timestamps, though.
We have readers like that?
Last I counted almost four. Maybe it was three. This internet thing, geez, you talk to a woman and she turns out to be Zeta nine and has nine penises. I'm so confused.
Hard to see this without the timestamps, though.
Indubitably. It's one of those geek superiority things, yes?
ash
['You ever notice how the people most into the instantly new and different complain when somebody isn't in the herd? Maybe it's one of those internets things.']
Wow, what a great thread. After leaving the FRIST! comment I went away for awhile only to come back and see it's up in the 120s! But the bad sexual encounters I've had er I mean heard about weren't nearly so funny.
By the way, I've been meaning to ask, Ogged, is the reason for no timestamps so that you leave less forensic evidence of how much time you spend blogging/commenting, in the unfortunate even that your employer discovers your secret identity?
Jesus, a girl gets busy and her name gets tossed around all over the place.
#38: It's spelled "whoa."
#42: What credibility? I thought we'd established that I hate men.
#116: A) Thank you for missing me. I've been busy. B) Retribution that's my due? You have no idea. Having said that, though, sorry to disappoint, but I don't mind you boys comparing dick sizes at all. I thought we'd established long ago that I like penises just fine.
b, as long as we're being pedants: I pointed out the woah misspelling in comment 57.
I maintain that either is acceptable.
I'd like a different maintenance man, please. Your construction would rhyme with Noah.
Well, Ben, I maintain that I'm hung like a horse, and that all those former girlfriends of mine are just lying, hurtful bitches.
0wned, b-wo. Hoist by your own petard. Suck it up.
All right, I missed this entire thread. Let me just offer this, in reference to Apostropher at #7.
Applying a tensile stress to a penis causes a localized decrease in its cross-sectional area near the midpoint of the penis's length. It's called necking, and because the entire stress acts through that reduced area, a penis experiencing necking has reduced tensile strength.
So: it's perfectly possible for a penis experiencing tensile stress to snap at a smaller length than a penis whose length is increased by other means.
Now that is what makes this blog great. You just can't buy that sort of knowledge.
That, and the helpful hints about whoopee cushions.
Hmm. When I was a teen, necking generally preceded applying a tensile stress to my penis. All the same, I bow in reverence to the accumulated penile wisdom of the unfogged fraternity. Thank you sir, may I have another.
#128: Yes, but it went unremarked now didn't it? Which of course just proves that if you pretend to be a hot libertarian chick, people will listen to you, and all women who have coasted to positions of authority have done so on their looks.
That's such a lie. Lots of women coast into authority on the basis of family connections.
That's such a lie. Lots of women have coasted into authority on the basis of family connections.
I'm fairly certain Madeleine Albright didn't coast anywhere on her looks.
She's a lot better-looking than Henry Kissinger was.
But nobody -- and i mean nobody -- said red-hot lovin' like Zbigniew Brzezinski.
better-looking than Henry Kissinger
Granted, but isn't that like being more sober than Courtney Love?
Well, come ON! Just the name "Zbigniew Brzezinski"--swoon.
All those Zs really do it for you, huh? Get you all trembly and shit?
Ever seen that scene in "A Fish Called Wanda"?
(And look! I've brought the thread back 'round to the Oscars again! I believe I am due for some retribution now.)
Shit, not Oscars, movies. Although really, "A Fish Called Wanda" is comedy gold.
Brzezinski is known to his buddies as "Zbig". Unfortunately, that's pronounced "Sbeeg", not "'S big" (a lá "'S wonderful/'s marvellous"), which would make the jump from cock jokes to National Security Advisors logical
What? Kevin Kline speaking Russian or something like that?
Hey, "A Fish Called Wanda" was at least as deserving of an Oscar as "Braveheart" and "Dances With Wolves." Even though my girlfriend at the time -- a lying, hurtful bitch, in case you're wondering -- disliked it because of the Michael Palin character's stutter.
'sbeeg is just 'sbig with an Eastern European accent. I bet he totally used the "they do call me 'sbeeg'" line when he was negotiating with Gromyko.
Well, the thread seems to have moved away from this, but here's some information on penis enhancements.
I know that this sounds like spam, but it's not exactly what you'd expect from the way the phrase is normally used.
Braveheart is possibly the worst movie ever made. Dances with Wolves is on the list, too.
Okay then, if we're back to that: have you seen these guys who spend their lives injecting absurd amounts of collagen into their members? Totally, completely, work-unsafe (though abjectly non-arousing) link here. Looks to me like those would have moved well past the point of usability.
apostropher, why the fuck are you looking at sites like that? Don't you have anything better to do with your time?
I don't think that question is allowed in blogland.
Braveheart is possibly the worst movie ever made.
Oh dear. Braveheart was indeed a bad movie, but the worst ever made? Holy cow. Not even close. I haven't seen Dances with Wolves, but Braveheart can't touch Waterworld for awfulness, and I don't think Waterworld is even close to making the list. Judging by the reviews here, though, Alone in the Dark seems to be making a decent bid for the crown.
B, for the same reasons I slow down and look at car wrecks.
Waterworld was not claiming to be an epic full of Moral Truths, however, which Braveheart was. Plus, I just cannot hack the ahistoricism of making William Wallace's primary motivation the murder of his nuclear family.
But if you want a real rant, ask me about Demi Moore flicks someday. Not today. I have to go do some actual work and blog about what an ass Scalia is.
Oh, and the real reason I've looked at that site is the same reason that you have: somebody said, "Hey, have you seen this?"
I had a big 'ol crush on Demi Moore in her "About Last Night" days.
I had one in her General Hospital days, you whippersnapper.
I would dearly love to make fun of you for having watched General Hospital, but, for some reason, as a kid, I loved daytime soaps. Meet me and Fontana at the Mineshaft, 'k?
Okay, but this time I get to be Laura and you have to be Luke. Labs can be the Ice Princess.
I find that the best indicator is personality.
I can't believe noone has brought up Ogged's emo penis yet.
One could say that Madeline Albright did not coast to a position of authority based on her looks, but one should note that the person involved in any hypothesized looking would have been Bill Clinton.
So there's just no telling.
Unfortunately, one could suggest the same viz Robert Reich.
I declare anathema on the person who stole my #151 and officially declare a whiny sulk on that basis.
{whiny sulk}
In other news, I've never seen Dances with Wolves on the basis that everybody liked it so it was likely bad. Same with ET and Braveheart. Waterworld was truly, hilariously excreable, but I was dragooned into going to see it.
#42: What credibility? I thought we'd established that I hate men.
#116: A) Thank you for missing me. I've been busy. B) Retribution that's my due? You have no idea. Having said that, though, sorry to disappoint, but I don't mind you boys comparing dick sizes at all. I thought we'd established long ago that I like penises just fine.
So, you like the penises, but would uh, prefer to lose the um, stiff attached? So what we really need is a world of disembodied penises? (Look! It's Flipper! Hi, Flipper!' {thrust}{thrust}{thrust}'Aw, good Flipper!')
I suppose the men would have to exported to ManWorld, inhabited entirely by giant, disembodied breasts, ala Woody Allen.
Well, now I've gone and put myself off human beings for the entire day, so no long hard jokes for you.
ash
['I reserve #201 for further pathetic explorations of this topic. BTW, it's 17:51 CST.']
I want this to read 200, at least, so I'll mention that I saw waterworld on a plane. I remember it being really horrible, with one possibly redeeming feature: the gills looked sort of like labia, which kept me amused as I clawed at my armrests in agony.
Ah, someone got that, did they?
I'm not sure, as the whole thing was too hard for me.
ash
['And now it's 22:29 CST. 04:29 UT.']
Labs, that was a beautiful ending clause. Joyce-esque, maybe.
In the spirit of getting this thread to 200, I'll just note a few non-related things.
Unfogged is the second Google search result for "cock jokes." Not a time to slack, people.
It is the first search result for "bukkake blogging." Hail to the king.
Is "kitty bukkake" a take-off of "Kitty Dukakis"? Maybe "kitty Bukkakis" would make it more obvious? Sorry to set the bar high and then fail to contribute, by the way.
I remember it being really horrible, with one possibly redeeming feature: the gills looked sort of like labia, which kept me amused as I clawed at my armrests in agony.
On the other hand, it wasn't as bad as flesh gordon which was like being fucked to death by a sticky comic book.
ash
['Oh, muse thou art a wanton bitch.']
Maybe "kitty Bukkakis" would make it more obvious?
Is that like having a bukkake at a 12-step meeting?
ash
['99 posts of cock jokes on the wall, if one of them should happens to soften...']
I don't know why you're all hating on Waterworld, which has Dennis Hopper cast against type as a crazy bad guy, not to mention the Kevin Costner gills/labia (for the Deep-Throat-with-a-twist crowd). And it doesn't feature Jude Law (who, I hear, may or may not be hung).
Let the record note that I would've contributed, but the site was down.
"Flesh Gordon"? Ash, you are a wonder.
You've never seen Flesh Gordon? They used to run it on Cinemax (muchly edited) at 3 o'clock in the morning right after the Europorn.
ash
['Those were the days my friends, of high-end porn ripoffs.']
Let the record note that I would've contributed, but the site was down.
Hah. It went down two seconds after I said:
Is that like having a bukkake at a 12-step meeting?
It's like the Killing Joke, only it's the server-choking joke.
'Seven Shades of Grayscale! I invoke the Filboblast Bugnuzzer's Hammer of Bukkake Bad Taste!'
ash
['Needs salt.']
I don't know why you're all hating on Waterworld, which has Dennis Hopper cast against type as a crazy bad guy
Well, because Waterworld was BAD.
I agree though that casting Dennis Hopper against type was Brill Brill Brill, but face it, Dennis Hopper playing his usual semi-angelic type, as George Bailey, huffing oxygen, humming 'candy-colored clown', and preparing to jump off the bridge just before the angel comes to convince him to save himself in 'It's a Wonderful Life' was truly masterful acting. Hopper's transition from sadistic, resentful bank manager to humble, grateful man who appreciates what he has is simply outstanding but could not exist without a decent film to support it.
Whereas Waterworld just sucks.
ash
['And then there's Hopper in 'On Golden Pond'.']
Ought we really be encouraging ash?
Probably not. Recent studies in rats have suggested that encouraging me results in syphillis, the flu, shriveling of the male organs, hairy palms and degenerative eye and brain diseases. The Surgeon General is considering requiring a label.
On the other hand, there are unsubstantiated, anecdotal reports that encouraging me results in small increases in breast size, a reduction in acne, general weight loss, and an distinct increase in multiple orgasms.
ash
['Use at your own risk.']
So I leave work, get on my hatefully crowded train to lovely Sussex and you slackers can't get to 200? What's wrong with you people?
The mention of Kitty Bukakke and Flesh Gordon transported me back to Massachusetts in the late 80s, when the wonderful Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd was pitching for the Red Sox. One year, during spring training, the cops served a summons on him because he had failed to return six or eight videos he'd rented the previous year. All of them had cheesy soft porn titles, the only one of which I remember was "Nudes in Limbo." I do recall, though, that the Boston Herald ran a sidebar about the movies under the headline "Can Film Festival." I still smile every time I think about that.
Oh, and ash, nobody stole your 151. 151 was mine, damn it, MINE!
You're probably another of those hurtful liars, like those former girlfriends of mine who go around claiming that I do not have a truly majestic member. Bitches...
The biggest problem with Waterworld is that, wanting to be "Mad Max on water," someone forgot to realize that a water world would not, in fact, be grubby and dirty like a desert world.
Also, the absence of Jude Law. I don't give a rat's ass how big his cock is or, indeed, if he even has one. He gets a free pass just for being so fucking gorgeous.
Bitch, in re 116: sorry to disappoint, but I don't mind you boys comparing dick sizes at all. I thought we'd established long ago that I like penises just fine.
I was going to say--so? There are plenty of things that I like, that I don't like talking about. But y'know what? That's not true. There isn't a single thing that I can think of that I like that I don't like talking about. A survey of fellow bloggers reveals that this is 100% universal in humanity.
Also, you can't tell because of no timestamps, but this thread didn't take off until ogged brought the hard evidence in post #3. Shows how scientifically minded we all are.
The purported hard evidence, anyway—much of the thread thereafter was devoted to discussing its plausibility.
"Can Film Festival."
Life is good, sometimes.
Also, I mean this in a heterosexual way, but Jude Law in "The Talented Mr Ripley" is about as hot as it gets. It's a shame there had to be a movie around him, instead of just a few hours of him being hot in various scenic locales.
Getting all sweaty there, Labs? Maybe you could use a film called "Jude in Limbo" before your next trip to the Minehsaft.
Okay, in the spirit of confession, after the first big burst of discussion on this comment thread, I went home from work (the workday having ended) and reproduced Ogged's rubber band experiment. I concede. One can not stretch a flaccid penis remotely close to its erect length, at least not without a level of pain I was quite unwilling to endure.
Now, how do I get all these ink dots off of my penis?
I'm sort of amused to realize that if you switch the first letters in his name, you get "Lewd Jaw."
Apostropher, we commend your contribution to knowledge.
I'd like to think Ogged, apostropher, and Messrs w-lfs-n and Weiner are all lurking at their desktops, waiting to be the one who gets to say "200th post!!!!1!"
Ah, yes, b-wo, that's the problem: The evidence that we thought was hard wilts under too much scrutiny.
Mike D--why would you like to think that? It's obviously true. I'm frustrated that I have to go teach fairly soon.
I'm on a mission to Iraq, to determine the whereabouts and magnitude of Jude Law's WMD.
I'd love to hear the explaination to your students why you're late today... or even better if they didn't need an explaination, all of them silently reading this site...
Dammit. I too want to see the big moment, but I have to go read about moral sexplanations instead.
100! 200! And I can hear those fighter planes...
Heh. I was afraid it was going to be a huge standoff, everyone waiting for someone else to post #199.
Shit. It's "see the fighter planes...."
Wouldn't you know, we get to 197 and an IT guy walks up and says, "Hey, I'm here to configure your Oracle." Which he couldn't even do as the fellow who did the installation yesterday forgot to install the ODBC driver.
So I missed my shot at 200 for no good reason whatsoever. 300, bitches!
OK, so in re 203 my hope is that anyone who stumbles on this site unawares and manages to wade through all the comments to get to my fine deliveries won't mind this sort of thing. But that's probably just wishful thinking.
Horrible confession: I had 200 typed into the browser and ready to go as soon as I saw 199 pop up in the "recent comments" sidebar. If 199 had turned out to be "Let's all get whoever posts 200" I would be in trouble. OTOH, trying to get n*100 after posting n*100-1 yourself is like serving to yourself in Hacky Sac, I think.
Ogged's rubber band experiment
Whose rubber band experiment, now?
Close reading reveals that b-wo initially (72) suggested an experiment with a piece of elastic. Ogged (84) carried it out with a rubber band. So the attribution is not clearly erroneous.
Well, I'll be. You ain't just equivocating on the adjective and noun senses. Do the junkies really use five-foot rubber bands? You could make some nice slingshots outa that.
Still, ogged made a crucial modification to the experimental design by choosing a rubber band that was less than five feet long.
I clearly was equivocating in that sentence, else I would have said "rubber bands are elastics" or something like that. However I did suspect that as nouns they could be synonymous.
The five-foot-long thing was just to cover my ass in case the effect wouldn't be observable at lower band lengths. I think I deserve credit for the original design (note that ogged refers to it as "w-lfs-n's experiment"). Really, Weiner, I don't see why you work so hard to bring me down.
Weiner, I don't see why you work so hard to bring me down.
The narcissism of small differences comes to mind.
You've got a five-foot long thing covering your ass?
Henceforth the experiment shall be known as The Ogged Test of w-lfs-n's Theorem of Penile Elasticity.
How inappropriate given the topic of our thread.
And what would that topic be, again? I don't have the strength to scroll all the way back up and figure out.
300, bitches!
Let's roll!
And towards that end, I want to pick up on the Flesh Gordon theme from a little earlier.
When I was a wee lad in Austin there used to be an adult theater on South Congress with a big prominent marquee. Whever we drove past it, I and any other youth in the car would always check out the names of the movies advertised, to much juvenile hilarity (this was in olden days, before the coming of our puerile Lord Beavis, but his prophesied arrival was much watched for).
Usually the names were some variation on the title of a "real" movie. For example, Romancing the Bone.
My favorite EVAR was Edward Penis Hands.
One I heard about later, but also quite like: Good Will Humping.
I know the good commenters of unfogged must also have some worthy contributions?
Jude Law in "The Talented Mr Ripley" is about as hot as it gets. It's a shame there had to be a movie around him, instead of just a few hours of him being hot in various scenic locales.
Agreed. Vehemently. Did you know that there was some British mag that once did a photo spread of him and Ewan MacGregor in various semi-homoerotic poses? I have never seen the thing, though I tried madly to get it, but I hereby state that I am willing to negotiate with anyone who can obtain a copy for me.
I want to point out that my whoring posts both topped 200 comments, by the way. Making my cunt twice as [something] as ogged's cock.
Just sayin'.
But were those comments as rigorously on-topic as these are? I ask you.
Mitch, yes, indeed! I've always meant to do a post on this. I submit: The Sperminator and Buttman & Throbbin'. Hi mom.
I dressed up as Edward Penishands for Halloween once. I was met with stunned silence at one party; joyous celebration at the next. It was my finest hour, I think.
Shaving Ryan's Privates was a parody title, right?
Making my cunt twice as [something] as ogged's cock.
Large?
FL, did you really dress up as Edward Penis Hands? And did you actually see the said porno flick so as to know what he looked like? And what did you use to make your hands into penises? Details, please. Maybe you can post some pictures, kind of like old what's-his-name!
Oh, and I meant to ask, was each hand a single penis, or was each finger a penis, kind of like Johnny Dep having a blade for each finger??
Was there anything in the movie involving topiary?
Edward Penishands lovingly trimming a woman's pubic hair? There's got to be a markert for that.
apostropher, I concede that you outflanked me on that one. Never saw it coming.
Now, whether ogged or I is the loser in that joke, I can't begin to say.
Well yes, that's the beauty of it, see.
Now, whether ogged or I is the loser in that joke, I can't begin to say.
Embrace your inner MILF.
ash
['Say, it 8:48 CST!']
Porno ripoff movie title: RAMBONE.
Sounded really painful, actually.
Beats the hell out of 'San Francisco Dykes #11' tho.
ash
['Generic Fuck Loop With Bored Unknowns is now only 4.95$!']
Although that raises another question. Why is it that big is a compliment for a man, but an insult for a woman? I mean, the answer is obvious, of course. But it also seems kinda weird, if you think about it...
Big is a compliment elsewhere in a woman.
Jesus, you guys have been busy. So, so much to comment on...let's see...
Speaking of the Kitty Bukakke thread...check out this link:
http://www.cinenacional.com/personas/index.php?persona=11933
She could still do porn. Verrrrry hot.
Or how 'bout this chick?
http://mirrors.meepzorp.com/chew-shit-fun/
I bet she does DP.
I'm not w-lfs-n. I firmly hold to the argument that colloquialisms and non-standard grammar and syntax are perfectly wonderful things in the appropriate context. This is a damn blog comment thread. "Ogged and I is" is fine.
Oh, and "I is"?
Yeah, everyone knows proper bizarro-speak would be "Me am." As in, "Me am laughing at sad comments."
I've gotta agree with bitchphd on this one. Both because I think she's right, and because it bumps up the comment count. Everybody wins!
Out of curiousity (and to bump up the comment count), how would you edit the sentence which (that?) offends you, apostropher?
And just for good measure, let's get ben and matt to each offer their versions too. We've got promises to keep, people, and miles to go before we sleep.
As in, "Me am laughing at sad comments."
Hey, apostropher is just doing his part. But thank you for doing your part too.
Also: "The Little Spermaid"
I have nothing against colloquialisms! Nor do I have anything against non-standard grammar and syntax in appropriate contexts, for that matter.
Besides, I'm not even sure that "is" was incorrect. "He or I is" v. "he or I am", I just dunno. I suspect that the pronoun closest to the verb wins, though.
Mitch, since you asked:
The costume was created with two 14" "destroyer" dildoes and some ace bandages. One penis per arm, not per finger. I've seen the film, but only for research purposes. Downside: hard to drink when you've got giant dildoes for hands.
Damn, and I'm sure the crew down at the Mineshaft was buying you all kinds of drinks that night, too.
Yes, a lot of people were very excited by my penishands. Frightened, but excited.
hard to drink when you've got giant dildoes for hands.
Really, who hasn't had that problem?
Also, "the little spermaid" is hilarious.
You know, it's one thing to enjoy the genius and creativity of our brothers and sisters in porn, but surely we can make up some of our own. This year's best picture nominees:
The Aviator
Finding Neverland
Million Dollar Baby
Ray
Sideways
Some of those you don't even have to change.
By the way, ogged, you're right. That new ADA is totally hott.
And say, how come there are no timestamps?
Wow, that would be a dream job.
First entry: Doing Julia
If you wanted to get all Strunk and White, it would have to be "ogged is and I am." But that sounds ridiculous.
Mitch, it doesn't count if you get to 300 by yourself.
I thought getting there by yourself was the whole point of porn?
Grinding Neverland? That's crap, try again.
You know trying to coach me like that just kills the mood, don't you?
Never Findingland?
Damn. See???
Okay, I'm done for the evening. But I expect great things by morning.
Pump Friction.
Forrest Hump.
Lawrence of the Labia?
Grinding Neverland? I found that pretty impressive, myself.
The French Erection.
Easy, Rider.
A Place In My Bum.
Yeah, I thought Grinding Neverland was good, too.
Are you making these up? "Easy, Rider" is brilliant. I was just looking at that, stumped. So to speak.
Are you making these up? "Easy, Rider" is brilliant.
Other than Pump Friction, yeah, I'm making them up. I told you I was good.
I realize I'm adding nothing substantial to the discussion, but I don't *get* "Grinding Neverland." I mean, ok, yes, "grinding." But "Neverland" is the object of the grinding? That makes no sense. With "Neverland" and the Peter Pan / Barrie thing, it should be so easy, and yet....
It's porn, remember? You're thinking too much!
My new favourite, as-yet-unmade film: The Queer Hunter.
The Aviator
Finding Neverland
Million Dollar Baby
Ray
Sideways
Aviatrixie
Grinding Neverman
Million Dollar Babydolls
Gay!
The Sideways Position
ash
['It's like, dude, 11:29 CST. Or 5:29 UT.']
Although that raises another question. Why is it that big is a compliment for a man, but an insult for a woman? I mean, the answer is obvious, of course. But it also seems kinda weird, if you think about it...
Well, it all depends on the dicksize involved doesn't it?
ash
['Back on topic at 23:41 CST.']
There we go! "Grinding Leather Man."
I know you're not supposed to think about porn, but you're not supposed to go "huh?" either.
Ogged, sometimes I think we just aren't worthy. I'm afraid I have to sleep now...perhaps the climactic moment will wait for morning. But if not, godspeed, you Shackletons of porn!
"Shackletons of Porn."
Damn. That needs to be a group blog. Who's in?
Whore of the Rings
Lord of the Queens
Her Two Towers
A Beautiful Behind
Night of the Giving Head
12 Horny Men
Hardfellas
Das Booty
Shackletons of Porn is close. Not quite. (Grinding Leather Man, big thumbs up.) Since that implies porn industry workers, and then it's either a Showtime reality TV show, or it's one of those precious, obnoxious, arty porn sites.
Then again. Shackletons of PRon might do it.
Geez, that sounds like some really obscure (paper) RPG. Or one of those weird S&M fantasy novels!
Shackletons of Pron. (insert Space Gojira roar with the Pron. Space Gojira being Space Godzilla for you culturally ignorant people.)
Ok, I'm in! That's just bizarre enough to work.
ash
['As long as we avoid the Ren Faire shite!']
Shackletons of Pron
IHNTSH,IJLS 'Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel'.
ash
['Well, there's your bad taste there buddy, at 1:27 CST.']
"Grinding Leather Man" is good. Bravo, BPhD! And damn, girl27, I am in awe of your porn naming prowess.
Speaking of Neverland, Fiddlling Every Lad sprang into my mind unbidden this morning. As a movie title, not as the day's activity. Oh, and if you're not familiar with "fiddling" (I wasn't either until a recent sojourn in the UK), as far as I know it's British usage. Means "playing with" or "molesting".
And you could change "Lad" to "Lamb" to appeal to a different demographic.
BTW, AOTR, usage of "AOTR" seems to have dropped precipitously.
Brava, nothing. Took me forever to get there, and all I did was edit it. Girl27 has me totally outclassed. She can run the movie dept. in the Shackletons of porn sweatshop; I'll do the fetish mags.
Yeah, to be honest, I'm more than a little intimidated by girl27's porn chops. I mean, who knew? She seemed so...innocent.
Okay, now I've had some coffee and a quick scan of the movie listings and am ready for some serious work:
Hourly Rate Hotel Rwanda
Million Dollar Labia
A Million Do Her, Baby
Constant Teen
The Semen Inside
The Navy Ate Her
Because of Wynn's Dick Tease
Finding Every Gland
House of Flying Digglers
These two are based on older, not currently playing movies:
Crotch Carter
Spewed Her Man Too
I realize I should have split that previous list up into separate posts, in the interests of reaching 300, but hey, I can't do all the work around here.
Also: Hef's Lump of Poo Movie
A hot young Indian princess is ravaged by the white man in:
Pokeahotass.
Dammit, girl27, there's no stopping you! I can see that I'm going to have to step up from coffee to crystal meth in order to even try to keep up.
Indie Annie Jones and the Temple of Dudes.
And the sequel, Raiders of the Lost Arse?
Awesome! Thanks Peter. I knew there was a Raiders one in there, somewhere.
My Favourite Queer, starring Peter O'Toole.
ash, I haven't seen "IHNJH,IJLS" in a long time! Are you by chance a Kibologist?
Risky Jizzness
The Long Shank Convention
Star Whores
If this place had timestamps, you'd see it was almost exactly 24 hours since my comments about everyone waiting for "200", and they're equally applicable to "300".
Re: 283; It's "AOTW," dammit! Stop denigrating my life's work.
Guess I won't go out for a smoke just yet, then.
280: "You've Got Foetus on Your Breath" was another good one from the same people.
And Matt, there's nothing wrong with "As Of This Ritin'".
b-wo, that last one is a bit unsubtle, and anyway I can't tell what movie it's taking off of. Oh yeah, "Hulk."
w-lfs-n, the zen factor in your comment is priceless.
Also, because apostropher seems to be otherwise engaged, let me say this to you now: 400, bitches!
Ben, is that a Caran d'Ache in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?
I'd like comment 300 to stand as a testament to w-lfs-n's intelligence and ability to count.
Just happy to see a certain select few of you.
Girl27, your brilliance knows no limits. 305 wraps up today's main threads in one elegant little package.
Heh, heh, package.
I even previewed the comment to make sure no one had slipped in the 299th before me. In retrospect it was just that which allowed the Dastardly Weiner to occupy my space, like unto the anecdote related herebelow:
Sr. W-In sooth, when a shift's turned up, delay is meet for naught but dalliance. Boccaccio hath a story of a priest that did beguile a maid into his cell, then knelt him in a corner to pray for grace to be rightly thankful for this tender maidenhedde ye Lord had sent him; but ye abbot, spying through ye key-hole, did see a tuft of brownish hair with fair white flesh about it, wherefore when ye priest's prayer was done, his chance was gone, forasmuch as ye little maid had but ye one cunt, and that was already occupied to her content.
The Simpsons often has some funny titles in the background.
Like Sperms of Endearment and I'll do Anyone.
And then there were the videos in Flanders' house:
Debbie Does Penance
Girls Gone Mild
I have nothing original to add.
the Dastardly Weiner
I prefer--speaking of porn names--to be called "'Whoop ass' Weiner." And I believe that by linking to that page I may cause that phrase to show up in Google searches, which heretofore it has been stubbornly refusing to do.
Meanwhile, in business news:
ISTANBUL (Dow Jones)--Turkish durable goods and household appliances producer Arcelik AS (ARCLK.IS) said Thursday its 2004 net profit jumped by 70% to 293.2 million new lira ($1=TRY1.2815) from TRY172.8 million a year earlier...
Sorry about the AOTR/AOTW mix-up, Weiner. I was just trying to talk down to everyone else's level.
And what, noone liked Hef's Lump of Poo Movie?? That one was my pride and joy! Tough crowd.
Also, because apostropher seems to be otherwise engaged, let me say this to you now: 400, bitches!
Roger that. I'm actually surprised we haven't heard more from him, I would have expected this thread meshed precisely with the apostropher's skill set.
Harry Pooter and the Sorceror's Bone
The Dominatrix: Convulsions
And everyones favorite sex ed tape:
Million Dollar Scabies
Okay, let's do some porn, BROADWAY STYLE:
Oklahomo!
Rentboy
Guys and Blow-up Dolls
Backside Story
Mouth Pacific
Pussies
Chest
Cumalot
Damn, Yank These
Lube!
Seven Brides for Twenty-three Brothers
The Whiz
North Carolina!
(sorry about that last one, apostropher, but Oklahoma was already taken)
Urinetown
Doesn't count, already taken.
Damn, everytime I open the comments window I keep waiting for it to fully load and then jump down to the last comment. It's like waiting in an elevator when you forgot to push any of the buttons.
(I know this comment should probably have gone under the "Technology!" thread, but hey, we're on a mission here)
The Fist and the Furry Ass
Barely Legally Blonde
The DaVinci Load
I Know Who You Did Last Summer
Poke Her Lips Now
Glad He Ate Her
Help me, I can't stop!
Judging by this list, Mills, I think you just found a career.
Urinetown
Doesn't count, already taken.
dood, it's a transgressive repurposing.
To sort of change the subject, but a comment way up there somewhere reminded me of this: in Austin there's this topless bar that's been around seems like forever. It used to be called "The Lady" and billed itself as a "Gentleman's Entertainment Club" or something like that. It was on the route between the university and my home, so I often passed by it.
At some point the name changed to "The Crazy Lady", and it became more of a skeezy biker bar.
Then one night I got drunk and woke up on a ship and spent the next almost six years in China.
Upon returning to Austin I happened to be driving past one night and noticed that it was now called "The Crazy Lad" and I thought, "Wow, they've changed their target audience again!"
Later that week I drove past during the daytime and realized that the name (and demographic) hadn't really changed, it was just that the "y" on the sign was burnt out.
Judging by this list, Mills, I think you just found a career.
Hey, you found my Russian language website!
Seriously though, I'm upset that "The Fist and the Furry Ass" is a real movie. I was so proud of that one !
Also, I'm SOOO glad we don't have avatar photos beside each comment here. That just makes it creepy.
dood, it's a transgressive repurposing.
I figured, I just wanted to respond and then get you to respond. It all helps with the mission.
Plus you've opened up a whole new area of endeavor for this thread. I'll get to work on it, but I'll start off with:
Hands on a Hardbody
(Great film, by the way.)
On the broadway theme:
Avenue Lube?
I remember seeing Lord of the G-Strings (a "parody" of LotR) on skinemax last year.
Still can't stop:
The Importance of Reaming Ernest
I'm actually surprised we haven't heard more from him,
I've been in a nearly daylong meeting, away from my desk. Much missed fun.
The Ballad of Bedding Gail?
And how about Asspounders #7?
Jude the Ass-Pure [at the beginning of the movie]
A bit obvious, but someone has to say it:
Moby Dick
But was it a truly moby dick?
moby: /moh?bee/
[MIT: seems to have been in use among model railroad fans years ago. Derived from Melville's Moby Dick (some say from ‘Moby Pickle'). Now common.]
1. adj. Large, immense, complex, impressive. "A Saturn V rocket is a truly moby frob." "Some MIT undergrads pulled off a moby hack at the Harvard-Yale game." (See Appendix A for discussion.)
5. The largest available unit of something which is available in discrete increments. Thus, ordering a "moby Coke" at the local fast-food joint is not just a request for a large Coke, it's an explicit request for the largest size they sell.
It occurs to me that before we spent the first hundred or so comments on the original penis stretching topic, we should have asked this guy. We probably could have saved ourselves a ton of time.
My all-time favorite strip club was the "Dancing Bare" in Seattle which had, I kid you not, a marquee with a bear in a tutu on it (the name might actually have been spelled "Bear," I don't remember). Sexay!
Ok, movie porn titles. Lessee. I'm channelling movies I hate for some reason, so...
A Few More Good Men (sure it's been done)
Howard the Fuck
Ass Pirates (anyone remember "Ice Pirates"? No? Be glad.)
Scent of a Woman (no change needed)
Cunty Brewster (not a movie, but irresistable)
The Neverending Whorey
Ok, that's enough of that for now.
There's Something About Hairy
Saturday Night Beaver
Schlong Day's Journey into Dwight
And, of course, there's always this one, which I'm pretty sure they showed us in high school health class in an attempt to scare us out of panky activities.
"Saturday Night Beaver" was on the page FL linked.
"Saturday Night Beaver" was on the page FL linked.
Yeah, but clearly it's purposeful transgressing. Or something like that.
You know, it occurs to me that, while we did have a discussion about euphemisms for breasts a while back (now that linking works so well I've decided not to use it: I'm a contrarion.), we haven't, AOTW, covered other parts of the anatomy yet.
"Beaver" is way up there on my list of least favorite euphemisms for the fuckhole.
Schlong, however, is a dignified way to refer to one's manroot.
Hey, all I meant by that was congratulations, as apostropher's instincts are evidently true.
I'd like to propose: "A Confederacy of Cuntses".
I'd like to propose: "A Confederacy of Cuntses".
Also from The Big Easy, "Ball The King's Men."
Incidentally, ben w, cuntses is tricksy and we hates them.
I'm a contrarion
That would be a particle whose charge changes every time you measure it, yes?
That would be a particle whose charge changes every time you measure it, yes?
Depends on who's askin.
Okay, it's clear to me now. This baby is goin to 400, easy.
In fact maybe we should just make this comment thread into it's own, separate blog. Sort of a Laverne & Shirley to Unfogged's Happy Days. Except in this case Laverne & Shirley will be much better than Happy Days, and neither will suck.
No dude, it's clear that you're Potsy.
In fact maybe we should just make this comment thread into it's own, separate blog.
You can't force me to comment that easily, Mitch.
You can't force me to comment that easily, Mitch.
How about if we start talking about how gay you are? Will that do it?
I don't think so, but it's worth a shot, I suppose.
C'mon, people. Euphemisms for naughty bits and nether regions? That's gotta be worth a few more comments, right?
If Unfogged is Happy Days, I want to be one of those girls with the "Mixed Nuts" club sweaters.
Or maybe one of the Polaski twins.
Or, alternatively, talking about how gay ben w-lfs-n is (you're excused, girl27: you've got a crush and you've done great work on this thread already)? On to 400!
As the only out-of-the-closet redhead here, I got dibs on Opie Cunningham.
Euphemisms for naughty bits and nether regions?
Cooch?
Who'll be Pinky Tuscadero? BitchPhD? Or Ben w-lfs-n??
riding miss daisy
the hump for red october
I think hands-down the worst, or at least most offensive, euphemism for female naughty bits I've heard is "gash" (distant second "slit").
The most entertaining are to be encountered in The Story of O.
Hey, the Beeb's got this covered.
Wow, for a second there I thought you meant they were offereing news coverage of our historic march to 400!
Are we going to hold a press conference, or should we wait till 500 for that?
I wonder what proportion of the comments in our historic march to 400 directly comment on how many comments there are or soon will be.
I wonder that too.
You saying there's anything wrong if a high proportion of them do?
It might be considered suspect by those who do not comprehend that an awareness of what we do as we do it is what ennobles us as human beings.
Damn, I've got to leave for a while. But I expect a high number when I return in a couple of hours.
ash, I haven't seen "IHNJH,IJLS" in a long time! Are you by chance a Kibologist?
Alas, no. I tend to belong to the barbarian hordes down the alt.* hall.
Meaning, of course, I've killed and eaten a few Kibologists. Very tasty. (We're not talking about the mighty mighty Kibo, peace be unto him, of course. One would sooner blaspheme King Fluffy.)
ash
['Refugees from ASCII.']
Man, Mitch is going to be really disappointed.
(6:13, CST)
House of the Seven Gayboys
The Good, the Bad, and the Horny (Or! the Porny!)
Full Metal Penis
Once Upon a Time in a Whorehouse
Gods and Monsters and Pussy and Dick
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice & Crystal & Lexus & Veronica & That Hairy Guy
Cum, Voyager
Breastcaliber
Empire of the Bum
Last Tango in Paris Hilton
Long Hard Shaft!
Dirty Fucking
The Man With the Golden Penis
House of the Flying Bukkake
Bed Dawn
White Humper, Black Cunt
Cumo Bravo
Superfuck!
The Penis Who Would Be King
League of Extraordinary Dick
Pussy and Prejudice
The Way of All Pussy
Tabacco Ho
Stranger in a Strange Man
Snatcharina
ash
['Enough there at 18:18 CST!']
w-lfs-n, you might find it amusing to hear that, in college, I was given a copy of The Story of O-- but I didn't pick up on the hint. Perhaps this is part of the explanation of why I fit so well into the unfogged universe.
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice & Crystal & Lexus & Veronica & That Hairy Guy
I laughed out loud.
I was given a copy of The Story of O-- but I didn't pick up on the hint.
(cough)
I love that book.
I got my copy from a respectable antiquarian & used bookstore in Hyde Park. They had a signed first edition of The Object-Lesson (the best Gorey story there is), but it was too rich for my blood. Sigh.
Euphemisms, huh? Go here for girls and here for boys.
Grilled cheese??
This puts an entirely new light on my (much older, not here) commenst about being in search of the perfect grilled cheese.
Mmmm. Tasty!
ash
['The Grilled Cheese Stands Alone!']
What about "gutted rabbit"? Surely that's worse than "gash."
But I think w-lfs-n really has to call his penis the "dangling participle."
Ok, "gutted rabbit" is worse. But I'd never heard it before, y'see.
I'm sure w-lfs-n would show you his dangling participle if you show him your split infinitive, b.
Goddamn but we're close. How about everyone votes on their favorite porn movie title? 'kay?
How about everyone votes on their favorite porn movie title?
Taboo?
ash
['Wait, you mean, the jokey ones.']
"Dangling participle"? Weiner, you and I are so going to beat the crap out of w-lfs-n at some future convention.
The 400 club isn't run by a bunch of psychotic religious freaks is it?
Well, Weiner's Jewish. And Ogged's a Shiite.
Speaking of conventions...if "bankers do it with interest," and "acupuncturists do it with a small prick," what do Philo professors do it with?
I'm watching Disasters on Modern Marvels right now. They're doing the story about how Chicago got leveled by a "thick large wave of mollasses." There are so many wrong jokes that can be made of this, given the tsunami and the loss of life to the molasses. But this is Not Too Many Low Clouds, so I suspect someone might say something.
Well, Edith Hamilton did fine with that assumption. Anyway, why don't you reveal the rot at the heart of the academy and tell us what unconscionably high grade you gave the paper?
Err... not Chicago. Boston. And Molasses. Not mollasses.
I once heard Alan Code refer to the "frigid core at the heart of the great erotic, Socrates." Then he took off my pants.
FL, I think you should take off your pants now. Matter of fact, let's all get naked to celebrate 400!
Then let's beat this thread to death... if we haven't already.
You earned that, g27. You own this thread.
Fabulous. 500 only counts if D-squared leaves it himself.
Which I guess means that you also own Labs' enormous, hand-stretched penis. And Weiner's hearty, outgoing apostropher.
So do I get the field assistant position, or what?
you break it, you buy it. That's what Colin Powell told me before I zipped up the mouth hole of his gimp mask.
Colin Powell
w-lfs-n's physics-defying penis didn't misuse him, though. That much we've established.
I'm going to send an anonymous email to the members of the admissions committee. Maybe they should read this thread before extending any written offers.
I have to get back to grading. I'll return when I'm on the verge of suicide. Should make for hilarious, rage-fuelled comments.
"Split infinitive" is now, officially, my favorite euphemism for cunt, ever. It doesn't really roll off the tongue in the heat of the moment, but it's so wonderfully layered with entendre....
I cannot believe this thread is still going.
True story: I just graded a paper about Socrates and virtue that assumed that, uhm, Socrates was a Christian. Because, you know, the soul...
Dante? Inferno? Virtuous pagans?
How about everyone votes on their favorite porn movie title?
I forgot. I was walking my grandmother's dog (don't ask), and behind this apartment block were a bunch of DVD cases flung all over the ground, along with some of the inserts, but no DVD's. (Why not throw them in the trash? Hiding them from mom?)
One the inserts (which I saved) proudly announced itself as S.M.U.T. #1. (But it evidently didn't stand for anything , they just put the periods in there because it made it more dramatic.)
It further billed itself as '100% Anal, 100% Oral Cumshots'.
So I guess it was 200% pronographic.
ash
['SMUT! #1! Watch all you want, we'll make more!']
"Dangling participle"? Weiner, you and I are so going to beat the crap out of w-lfs-n at some future convention.
Uh, bitchphd proposed that. I didn't. Though I wll wear the mantle if called upon.
My favorite porn title of all time is Buttman and Throbbin'.
Alright! Are you seconding or remembering independently?
Wow. I missed that. It is a real movie, though. It was in the window of the gift shop in the basement of the Power Company, this big gay dance club that used to be in downtown Durham.
You can run, w-lfs-n, but you can't hide.
Hey, I ain't hiding, FL. My participle is present and active.
You know it's nothing personal; I just want to beat the crap out of someone at an APA. I figure if I get Weiner drunk enough he'll help. You could always join us and we could triple-team Robert Audi or something.
You can not make me sorry to miss a philosophy conference.
Goddammit. If I'd have been paying attention, I'd have been all over comment 420.
Speaking of euphemisms, "walking my grandfather's dog" sounds really wrong to my ear.
Get drunk and beat the crap out of, I don't know, most of my philosophy professors were getting quite close to retirement and probably don't go to APA meetings anymore. I would say Eric Brown, but I liked him.
?
Sorry. It's a mental tic left over from high school.
That's 'cause you're squaresville, mister.
God, it's true. Don't rub it in. Or do. At the Mineshaft.
At the current rate of in-joke expansion and reproduction, this site is soon going to need a concordance.
But remember: you have Weiner behind you. At the Mineshaft.
this site is soon going to need a concordance
Hey! Outta my head! I'm reading about site search tools and concordances right now.
Oh, since my suffering amuses you all: I've had that bone-thugs-n-harmony song "crossroads" in my head, except it's
Meet you at the mineshaft (meet you at the mineshaft)
over and over again. Thanks for that.
Since my first suggestion of punching Eric Brown was vetoed/ignored, how about Marilyn Friedman? Or are these people too obscure?
Does it have to be a philosopher? Could it be, like, convention center staff or something?
Then again, since FL is anonymous, he could be one of those people. Hmm, that might be a gaffe. Good thing I'm not attending that school anymore.
Labs, if you were a better Christian, like Socrates, you'd find suffering transformative. Or enlightening, or something.
1. Why isn't ogged a philo professor? Is it common for people to be as well versed in a field they didn't go into? Are all philo people now philo/math-comp sci types (w-lfs-n, what we know of ogged's job)? Obviously, don't answer if it is outable information, but this has always bothered as re: the verisimilitude of the Unfogged experience.
2. Given the number of philo people here, I'm a bit surprised that the "25 most important thinkers" (or whatever) thing didn't come up. All philosophers - so there's a vote for w-lfs-n getting the PhD.
It can't be staff, that would totally change the meaning of the act.
if you were a better Christian
Or more to the point: no matter how much you think you're suffering, it is as nothing compared to the agony of our Lord and Savior on the cross.
See, don't you feel better? At the Mineshaft?
I read an article by Marilyn Friedman once, and it was pretty lame, so on those grounds I'd be ok with it. On the other hand, my code of personal integrity is ok with three or four guys beating up some 70-yr-old man, but it draws the line at old academic women. I think. Give me time to get more bitter.
Oh, and I found this, about the death of the guy behind the New York Mineshaft. Some choice quotes:
Throughout his life, Wallace fought for sexual freedom, said Pascarella.
"Wally liberated an awful lot of people sexually," said Pascarella. "He personified the sexual freedom of the '70s."
Longtime activist and author Arnie Kantrowitz, who had known Wallace since the Mineshaft days, said Wallace "knew more about seducing men than Cleopatra and Tom of Finland combined."
Nice.
scmTim, I have an MA in philosophy, and know some tech stuff because of my job.
I saw the "25" list, but we're not exactly Crooked Timber.
"Located in the Meatpacking District"? Are you kidding me?
I'm not a philsopher. (As if everyone here couldn't tell.)
Apos-
Once upon a time I lived in that area; what's even funnier is that it (that is, the Meatpacking District) is tranny central.
Obviously, this was back when SomeCalledMeTina.
SCMTim, it is eerie, isn't it? It's as if the divine hand of providence guided me here to find my kin.
Ogged, that's a thing of beauty. On that note, I retire for the evening. Tomorrow, we scale the lofty peaks.
THE DRESS CODE as adopted by the membership on
the first of December 1976 will apply during 1978 & 1979
APPROVED ARE CYCLE & WESTERN GEAR. LEVIS,
T-SHIRTS, UNIFORMS, JOCK STRAPS, PLAID &
PLAIN SHIRTS. CUT OFFS. CLUB PATCHES.
OVERLAYS & SWEAT.
NO COLOGNE OR PERFUME OR DESIGNER
SWEATERS.
NO SUITS, TIES, DRESS PANTS OR JACKETS.
NO RUGBY STYLED SHIRTS OR DISCO DRAG.
NO COATS IN THE PLAYGROUND
NO LACOST ALLIGATOR SHIRTS
THE MANAGEMENT
Huh.
The Mineshaft, a male sex club, is described from the patron's perspective, in retrospect, and in the context of gay male urban life in circa-1980 North America.
I'd be very confused if it was from the context of lesbian female urban life. Or even lesbian male urban life.
It is suggested
Only a suggestion, no idea, really, we're not sure. Well, it could have happened this way. Of course, we might just be MAKING SHIT UP TOO!
that the Mineshaft functioned to provide, on a for-profit basis, a relatively safe environment for liminal erotic behaviors,
If you're in the mineshaft, you're basically in the mineshaft. It wouldn't really be much of mineshaft otherwise. I suppose they could be sexual behaviours on the threshold of hell or something. Going down!
and did so in response to a variety of sociocultural conditions.
As opposed to being participants in the Clone Wars.
The latter include the lack of institutionalized anticipatory socialization for intramale sexual relations,
That is truly a fucking wonder of a sentence.
We demand rigidly defined areas of instituionalized anticipatory socialization!
and the tension between S&M and non-S&M gay male styles.
Firstfights with the leatherboys in the bathroom!
The Mineshaft occupied marginal niches in terms of its physical location, its hours of operation, and its legal status.
I know I should translate this as 'it was a fucking dive' but it would also do as a substitute for 'it really sucked. And blew.'
Access was ritualized,
Burnt offerings to the Discoball God. Getcher fresh goats here!
social structure was simplified,
Have we simplified the social structure in Iraq? Just wondering.
social control was informal but adequate. The setting was amendable to a wide range of fantasy, eroticization and erotic role playing.
'You sucked my battleship!'
ash
['My character gets +5 for the Handbag of Death.']
Syftet med denna litteraturgenomgång var att sammanställa vad som finns skrivet om fist fucking.
Litteraturgenomgång of Pron would be even better!
ash
['Pron is a very very very small european country whose only source of income is the export of gargantuan dildos. It has an imaginary ruling council called the Litteraturgenomgång. Population: 12, excluding goats.']
Speaking of euphemisms, "walking my grandfather's dog" sounds really wrong to my ear.
It rather implies grandma is getting desperate.
ash
['Taaabbbbbbbbbbooooooooooooooooooo.']
Scott McLemee, in his most recent column, suggests this potential title (though he is referring to a different context): Atlas Shagged
Oh, and if someone ever makes "Dr. Strangelust: How I learned to start whoring and love to bang" that mineshaft discussion at the end will take on a whole new meaning.
Just think of this exchange from the original:
Well I... I would hate to have to decide.. who stays up and.. who goes down.
I think I may have just lost whatever sense of self-respectability I once had. But while I'm at it:
Paths of Whoring
Spartans Kiss
Barely Lolita
2000 and 1: A Group Oddity
A Cock-joke Orange
Hairy Lyndon
I'm not sure that The Shining even needs a title change (though I've never heard this usage before).
Full Monty Jacket
Thighs Wide Slut
I know I should have lost my sense of shame while reading through this thread, but I'm posting this anonymously.
This is astounding. A total of 133 comments since I called it a day, including one of the greatest phrases in academic history: "the lack of institutionalized anticipatory socialization for intramale sexual relations." As w-lfs-n would say: Woah!
By the way, apostropher, with Shlong Day's Journey Into Night, you covered yourself with glory. Better go wipe it off.
Bad hand-brain coordination, which I'm blaming on a headcold. It's my all-purpose excuse today.
I'm relieved to see that the thread has lost none of its highminded tone in my absence.
this site is soon going to need a concordance
Hey! Outta my head! I'm reading about site search tools and concordances right now.
I recommend Swish-E, and not just for the fabulous name.
Dr. Strangelust: How I learned to start whoring and love to bang. OMG! I MUST see that non-existent movie. Damn. Now my life feels incomplete. Shit.
Ash, you know, at first I thought, "yeah, yeah, academic prose is turgid, but we all knew that." But once you got to The latter include the lack of institutionalized anticipatory socialization for intramale sexual relations, I started snickering, and by the time you got to I know I should translate this as 'it was a fucking dive' I was choking on my coffee. Damn you.
I know you're all probably still sober, but something has to change if the dream of 500 comments is to stay alive.
Thanks for the recommendation, Ben. I'll check it out.
I'm not worried about getting to 500; I'm worried that this thread will never die.
You all realize that the post to which these comments are pendant was made on the 28th of February, right? And it's now the 4th of March? What I want to see is new comments here on the 28th of April.
If only the comments had timestamps, w-lfs-n, you could reach that dream, and have all the world see it...
I think that unfogged suggests that the formal constraints and expectations of blogs are far more flexible than is usually acknowledged. Really, these comment threads are more like a forum than a comment thread. Like Abbie the Cat or Manolo's shoe blog, really, the point here is kind of a metabloggy postmodern blogism...
Really, these comment threads are more like a forum than a comment thread.
You're referring to Penthouse Forum, right?
"What I want to see is new comments here on the 28th of April."
I want to see monthly, nay, annual reunions of the I Suspect Not crew of 2005. Those were the days...
Not that I'll be invited. I think I've only got one or two in there.
I never thought this would happen on my blog, until one night...
Grading horrors II: a paper on Aristotle in which Asimov's rules of robot order play a prominent role. You can see why I flee to the internet...
For a truly postmodern style of blogism, I think the comments threads should have a shuffle option that would allow us to read the comments in random order, maybe without numbers. Can you look into that for us, ogged?
It was an interesting grading decision, believe it or not. There were other parts of the paper that were genuinely insightful, except that the insights rested on serious misunderstandings. Hard to know what to do. A-.
Also, I think we should get Jude Law's cock to leave the 500th comment.
I think that's a stretch.
Labs, are you somehow implying that w-lfs-n or girl27 or some other milestone poster is Jude Law's cock?
I just scrolled up and looked again at 300, by the way. And I'm still giggling.
You know what, the parentheses in 72 are unbalanced. The last 305 comments have all been a massive aside.
)
I had happened to be skimming the thread and noticed it. We old LISP hands don't really need to read that closely to notice these things.
People really *are* passing up the low-hanging fruit lately. I've been writing "search tool" as often as I can, and no one's taken the bait.
I think it was your reference to that cunt Kant. Raised the tone and all.
Was that a deliberate allusion, Peter?
Was that a deliberate allusion, Peter?
That wasn't what I hoped that link would lead to.
"Microsoft Office Imaging" is the stupidest program ever, because it won't allow you to have more than ten open files. Of course, having multiple open files requires having multiple instances of the program running (evidently no one at Microsoft has heard of "tabs" or "panes").
This is in plain violation of the zero-one-infinity rule, which is quite reasonable—all the more so since there are really only three numbers. Very frustrating.
Of course windows also imposes a maximum on path length, and excel will only accomodate, I think, 2**16-1 or 2**32-1 rows, or some such absurd limit.
I'm with Joe on that one. It was pure serendipity.
I don't know if I should be happy about this, or what:
Check out the newest page on the Class of '95 website:
[link]
This page has links to surveys and polls related to our class and reunion planning.
Enjoy!
The link leads to:
Sorry, the page you requested was not found.
That reminds me...
Well, the White House seems to have updated the page, but this was pretty funny last fall.
I think Labs was addressing Jude Law's cock.
Is that some sort of ejaculatory reference?
Had we timestamps, it would be apparent that Joe's comment and mine are roughly contemporaneous.
I'm so sorry for the confusion. I meant to console you, in your hour of microsoft fury, by reminding you that you're close to a respite from office work.
Oh I see. Thanks. You know someone had better contact Mr Davies, since ogged has declared that 500 won't count unless posted by him.
I think I'm having a little performance anxiety as we get to the big moment.
Let it all out, FL. You're almost done.
Eric Brown is a cool guy. John Doris seems like a cool guy as well, though I've only met him once. They are both huge. I think I'd less like to fight Doris, but it would be a near thing with nothing in it, as Bertie Wooster likes to say.
Since SCMT mentioned the twenty-five greatest thinkers list, I thought this would be a good time to mention my plan for philosophy superheroes, and my new specialty as a philosophy supervillain (I think the AOS gets listed on my cv as MODOK studies).
'Cause don't a lot of those descriptions sound like--it's not a superpower or a superhero name, it's a superhero subtitle like "Man of Steel" or "The Caped Crusader." "Mild-mannered philosopher Vladimir Kantor prowls the crime-ridden streets at night as--Kantorman, The Oppressor of Barbarity!!!" See what I mean?
[Background to that--the other day I was struck again by my unfortunate habit of monologuing ['monologging' is not an acceptable alternative spelling--I mean, that's what the men of Unfogged comment boards do when not crying.] And my career path at the moment is looking kind of like Incrediboy's. So I think Labs and I might do well to retire to an island, offer lots of famous philosophers big research grants to show up, then--WHAMMO! It would help the market a lot.]
This may well result in a post back at the home blog about philosophers' superpowers. "Thales can turn anything into water," like that, but hopefully better. That would be OK for people to see under my own name, I think. This one, I figure anyone who gets down to comment--damn, I hope it's not 500, the comment numbers don't show up on preview--will be pretty much inured to anything I have to say. Still, I don't think I ought to be mentioning whether there are any philosophers I would like to beat up.
This may well result in a post back at the home blog about philosophers' superpowers. "Thales can turn anything into water," like that, but hopefully better.
I once proposed a fighting game in alt.religion.kibology along similar lines.
Nothing to be sorry about, Matt. That was an awesome comment.
I knew Weiner was really dsquared.
I think 500 should be posted by Borges.
Well, now we know that Jude Law's cock won't come too soon.
AOTW, this comment thread is now 287.21 KB, being refreshed damn near constantly, I would assume. how's your bandwidth limit looking, Ogged?
We're fine for now, but it's just the first week of the month. I can always bump it up if there's a problem.
Or, like I said, Potsy, spin it off into its own blog.
I lament the fact that Daniel Davies, also known as D-Squared has yet to comment on this thread. We'll save comment #1000 for him.
It would be cool if James Wolcott stopped by too. He never has before, has he?
He hasn't. Though he is just the right kind of gay for this blog.
He hasn't. Though he is just the right kind of gay for this blog.
And with that, this thread softens and goes limps.
ash
['Anybody got a kleenex?']
In order to make this thread more symmetrical, both this comment and the first one mention Daniel Davies and James Wolcott. Though I have no idea why Mitch associates the two of them.
Also, Ash's comment was clearly a self-defeating prophecy, since it brought the thread back to the top of "Latest Comments."
Also, Ash's comment was clearly a self-defeating prophecy, since it brought the thread back to the top of "Latest Comments."
Or it could be a so-far-successful attempt to flog Mr. Happy back to life, in preparation for further penetration into the the dark recesses of the Unfogged mineshaft.
When you're liminal, sometimes you just gotta work it.
ash
['It's a win-win, either way!']
Oh, I forgot! It's 03:17 CST! 9:17 UT! March 5th, 2005.
Ok, well, net time now says it's 3:18. Whatever.
ash
['Where's the kleenex?']
. . . both this comment and the first one mention Daniel Davies and James Wolcott. Though I have no idea why Mitch associates the two of them.
Just because they are both quite tidy with their rhetorical barbs, and I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of the wit of either of them. So it would probably be interesting to see them go after each other verbally.
You know, like it would be interesting if Buffy got in a fight with that Alias woman. Or if a previous ADA went up against the current ADA in the courtroom on L&O.
Though he is just the right kind of gay for this blog.
Is "gay" a typo?
When I referred to The Story of O in 363, I was thinking of Fanny Hill. My mistake. I've never actually read the former.
Yeah, me neither, I just looked at the pictures.
Ah Fanny Hill, now THAT was a great TV show!
