I am sorry the incisive commentary of Tierney and Brooks has so upset youtwo, doomed, skinny people.
Also, did you see Ann Coulter on the cover of time? The press sucks.
And sarcasm in blog comments, that's another thing that really pisses me off.
This is totally nuts. There's a world of difference between saying that the BMI doesn't correlate perfectly with optimal health and that now there's a medically-established reason to pork up and feel superior about being lazy.
Christ, what is with these columnists? Is it that fucking hard to read?
I'm a little puzzled, too. I thought you liked thick women, ogged. Don't these columns potentially increase the number of available thick women for you to date and ultimately reject on grounds the rest of us will find funny?
Tim, hard as it is for me to believe, it's not always about me.
Nope, sometimes it's all about me ;)
But seriously ogged -- *thick* women? Specifically? Exclusively?
I didn't address that misunderstanding in an effort not to make it all about me. But "thick?" No way. Tim (revealing more and more about himself) seems to have taken "not waify" to mean "thick." What I *like* is lean and strong.
As exemplified by that long-haired blond guy in a sweater.
Ogged, I seem to recall you mentioning an attractive, though rather curvy woman you met not long ago...maybe swimming? And you seemed surprised at finding her attractive because she wasn't your usual lean, strong type. I wondered if anything happened with her. I'll guess not.
God, it really *is* all about me. I think I know who you mean, annie, but I haven't seen her since then. She was lean and buff, in fact, but short.
So, bottom line is nothing happened with her.
Short and curvy (= had big breasts? how big?)
Ogged, after all of this buildup about our date, we're totally not going to be attracted to each other anyway!
By the way, how's May 28?
I don't know about her breasts. I don't look at breasts. Her butt was curvy.
May 28? All booked up. Maybe next year?
Oh, that's right. You have that butt issue.
Ok, I told my cousin his surgery could wait. May 28 it is!
I'm just teasing you, ogged. When I first started reading unfogged, I felt sorry whenever I read some bloggers' and commenters' lamentations about not dating (let alone doing anything else). Now I realize what a sad, dull place unfogged would be if any of you actually found happiness with someone.
To be filed under: How Sad Am I?
I just site-searched for "long haired blond guy" because I was missing the joke. Then I stopped when I realized that ogged, in his infinite mystery, could probably tell what I'd searched for. I'm not sure which of the two actions is worse.
And it's no sadder than that I'm at work trying to figure out the rules for filing a Notice of Appeal in the Second Department, and so hideously bored that I'm hitting refresh in the site every five minutes in hopes of an interesting comment.
There is still some distance between "dating" and "happiness," no? So there may still be some conflicted melancholy road to travel, even if Ogged gets the girl.
Have we not learned anything from TV? We're really just entering the second phase of the show in which Ogged starts dating again. (May 28, apparently)
Just one date can spin plenty a storyline ... and lead to even more conflict and confusion.
Ah, but if Unfogged were a TV show, what sort would it be? I'm betting a L&O spin-off: you meet ogged, he never posts again, your site goes dark, and we try to figure out if (a) he's dead, (b) you're both dead, or (c) you killed him and are on the run. I call Lenny.
Three's Company 2K5
Mr. Roper - Ogged
Mrs. Roper - profgrrrrl
Jack - Labs
Janet - LizardBreath
Chrissy - ben w-lfs-n
I never watched much Three's Company, but I'm pretty sure Mr. Roper wasn't the main character. On the other hand, if Apo's suggestion is normative rather than descriptive, there's certainly something to that.
Hey -- I'm no Mrs. Roper! Uh-uh.
but more importantly ... who's Larry?
Ooh, that might actually be me. I don't like this game any more.
If I have to be a Three's Company character I want to be Teri.
and apostropher, who's Mr. Ferley
Ha! I was going to ask you, apo, if you're a winker, then I looked at the comments to that post. Case closed.
Wait, PG and I are in a sexless marriage...ok, I guess that's about right.
And who's going to respond to Saheli in that wedding thread? Not me.
That's a job for Mr. w-lfs-n if ever I've seen one. I probably haven't, but still.
One of you young whippersnappers take it.
I'm talking out of my ass and being cruel here, but my guess is that Saheli must know the blessed couple (or -more likely- know someone who knows the couple). I mean, she's a journalist, and we're* all about bloviating, but 9 times out of 10 you only put that much effort into defending a point when you have something personal at stake.
*while technically I am in the news business, I don't consider myself a journalist. I'm all about bloviating, though.
You know, if we were as mean as they say we are, we'd be saying some pretty barbed things right now.
Hi, Barb, if you're reading this.
To be fair, it is a complicated issue, because we've found out that if we mention someone by name here, they're likely to see it eventually. So what we say we have to say with a view to it being read by the people it's about. But how much are we all now "public" figures, and how much uncharitable fun should we expect people to have at our expense? I don't know. I am pretty confident that we're not even close to the line in that thread.
When the revolution comes, we'll be the first against the wall. In North Face shirts, no less.
Well, I felt bad about it (and so commented). I'd ask Ms. Parker to cast her mind back and see if she rejected a gigantic philosopher running to fat somewhere in the autumn of '02.
Nothing says "sex" like "hey, his sleeves are too short." If you ever want to see self-loathing in full bloom, come clothes shopping with me.
Though I'm new around here, I've defended your honor before. I could do it again. Depends on how well we think I did the last time.
if we were as mean as they say we are
The "they" strikes me as paranoid, but given situations you've alluded to with your colleagues, perhaps you have reason to be.
Our wrists sexily exposed.
I suppose I'm not competent to discuss this given the last discussion of "attractive," but I think exposing your wrist may be the wrong way to go about it.
Our wrists sexily exposed
I've never heard of anyone having a wrist fetish ... especially not for the male wrist. What do you hope to accomplish? What if your wrist catches cold?
No one here has seen Angels & Insects? "I have seen your wrists!"
Why not just have the operation and be done with it ogged? I'm sure the mass of comments like that will qualify you as having lived as a woman for a year.
You can't grasp my masculinity, can you, you small-handed man?
I think that's a job for the aforementioned blonde-tressed sweater tease.
Did my comment push you into responding to Saheli yourself, Wrist boy?
Jeez, do you guys have some kind of schtick where Ogged intentionally sets himself up for those kinds of lines?
Nah, enough people were in there that I could jump in without feeling like I had to address everything.
Tarrou, you'd think they'd be more grateful.
Ogged,
Does this
Wait, PG and I are in a sexless marriage...
mean that I'm free to do what I need to do to take care of my needs, even if it includes other men?
Love,
PG
Maybe there'll be a cute neighbor girl you can take up with.
Sometimes the universe conspires, as here: you two talking about a sexless marriage under the title, "You're Fat, I'm Not Happy."
Wait a minute ... so it's OK if I'm getting some with a chick but not if there's another man? And I suppose you want to watch, too ...
SCMT ... only problem is that neither one of us is fat. Quite the opposite for ogged. And he might be happier about me if I were sturdier.
Sigh. When do I get sex again?
Yes, but I have no interest in watching.
Yes, but I have no interest in watching.
Are you sure you're a man? A straight man?
It was a general joke, PG. The title just sounds like something you might hear in an unhappy, sexless marriage.
Hell, even I would probably want to watch that ....
We're challenging stereotypes here, SCMT ...
I like lesbian sex fine. The internet has even shown me some hot lesbian sex, but on the scale of things I find arousing, it's not near the top.
but on the scale of things I find arousing, it's not near the top.
Now this is getting interesting. What's near/at the top?
Somebody is going to live-blog sex someday, and it's going to be hilarious.
on the scale of things I find arousing, it's not near the top.
Ogged always finds the top very arousing.
What's near/at the top?
Hey, I'm a private person.
Somebody is going to live-blog sex someday
and I fear it could be me ... no, just kidding.
Are we going to liveblog, or merely blog, our date?
Somebody is going to live-blog sex someday, and it's going to be hilarious.
I could imagine someone podcasting the whole thing: the seduction, the awkward beginnings, the event, the afterward despair, and the final, "Well, I've got a meeting tomorrow...." I'd be shocked if some RL college kids aren't doing it already.
liveblog as in audioblog? or blog during? or is there something else I don't know about?
and what are we doing on our date?
'tis the day before I leave for Asia on the Lost in Translation tour with Collaboratrix.
I'd be shocked if some RL college kids aren't doing it already.
That's true. Probably available on some file sharing network. w-lfs-n?
'tis the day before I leave for Asia
So you'll be stressing about your trip. I'll probably end up helping you pack. That would be such an ogged date.
So you'll be stressing about your trip.
More likely manic and excited.
I'll probably end up helping you pack.
Nope. I'll have already packed a day or so before, back in Gentleville. Sorry to disappoint. I know you're just dying to see my panties.
That would be such an ogged date.
Hee. It would. But now you (as the hometown host) are actually going to have to figure out something for us to do.
Yeah yeah, I'll think of something. Do you prefer a day or evening activity? Outdoorsy or dress up?
I think your date should be determined by us blogreaders.
We can submit ideas and then have a blogpoll. It'll be fun.
Oh, I'm sure it would be fun for everyone except me and pg.
Yeah yeah, I'll think of something. Do you prefer a day or evening activity? Outdoorsy or dress up?
I'm game for anything. We could do one of those reality tv type dates where intially we do something outdoorsy and then we magically change clothes and have a decent meal.
Or do you think we should let the commenters decide?
And we don't know where Oggedville is, right?
Last comment meant for Michael. I just meant that we don't know what there is to do and so forth.
The commenters are so not deciding. How many hours should be planning for? Do you have other plans that day? (Am I really doing this in public?)
Oggedville is far, far from Gentleville. Does that help?
The location of Oggedville is, as ever, Top Secret, even if just about everyone already knows where Oggedville is.
Tim,
This is America; cities are basically the same.
c'mon Ogged. sacrifice for the blog. I'm sure it'll beat your plan of going to McDonalds.
We can move this discussion to email.
Me, I'm going to bed. Fac meeting early in the am.
Goodnight, my dear sexless marriage husband.
Oh, but one more thing. Why not open a thread for the peanut gallery to make suggestions. Could be interesting. Or not. Maybe a prize to the person who influences the actual date the most.
You absolutely should do a Blind Date: Unfogged post with pics and pop-up snark.
We know where Oggedville is? I think I know the state.
I propose Ogged secretly invite the Swede to meet them him and PG at a swanky bar, pay for drinks for both girls all night long, shoot for the threesome once they're drunk, and end up going home alone when PG opts to sleep at the Swede's instead of his place. It will be terrific for teh blogging.
10) A fist date golden rule. . .
Do not look for things to go wrong. If you say "Im going to loose" - even to yourself, It may well become a reality. A winner talks positively from the start! (remember David and Goliath?)
#3 is no good for Ogged, heathen that he is. I think #4 is right out, too. #5? I don't picture Oggy as the smiling sort. And I shouldn't forget #2. Just forget that one.
I don't know, if those 10 things are what make a good fist date, Ogged seems to be in trouble. Ogged: go for the subtle-pity date. (Are there handy rules for that?)
After the date, will you post your prospective NYT Wedding Announcement based on the prior evening?
Man, the things I miss when I go out and do things.
hey ben, will you be in SF this summer?
or in Standord town, which is close enough?
or Stanford town, which is right down the street from Standord town.
Re: 111, It's true, Ogged. Those tips would work better if you'd accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.
Man, where are you guys? I need some entertaining.
Nothing's the matter. I'm in the radio station until 2am.
I'm disappointed no one seconded my date plan for Ogged.
apostropher,
Do not look for things to go wrong. If you say "Im going to loose" -
Where to start? Im? loose? Considering a date win/lose? David and Goliath?
This guy acts like he's going to fight Mike Tyson or something.