Personally, I'm waiting for a context to come up where I can call someone a tool and then apologize profusely for the unduly harsh insult. Because seriously, that's beyond the pale.
You can call me a tool if you like.
Who knew the abject non-apology was your metier?
It would be good to hear from him, but I really want to know the father-in-law's opinion.
I'm sorry I called Eugene "George." I didn't know his proper name.
I hope Saheli sticks around, and I hope Eugene shows up so I can get to know him as a person and can settle things down if they need to be. I hope he can see that I poke fun at myself as much as at anyone else.
And when did "tool" get to be an insult?
And when did "tool" get to be an insult?
At least fifteen years ago, by my recollection.
At least fifteen years ago, by my recollection.
ogged,
Do you have something you'd like to share with the class?
I thought of it, now have to say it:
Some of us are more handy with tools than others.
I thought of it, now have to say it
Another possible motto for the blog.
"Tool," not "truth." Jesus Christ.
And ye shall know the tool, and the tool shall make you free. -John 8:32
Speaking of being handy with tools, I asked the guy I'm seeing if he could do a DYI task for me at my house, and he replied, "You may as well ask me to grow my own food."
DYI = Do Yourself In? Don't Yank It? I wouldn't know where to begin either, and I've even made some of my own furniture.
I always feel an urge to make a poop joke when I think of Ian Proops. Then I feel bad, because that's so juvenile.
Once you're asking the guy you're seeing to do it, doesn't that take it completely out of the realm of DIY? The 'Y' loses a certain amount of applicability.
No no, LB, it's "do it yourself". Not myself.
DIY, definitely the imperative mood, as far as I'm concerned.
I can't believe that I need to point this out to you, of all people, but you're ignoring the reflexivity of 'Yourself'. For the phrase to work, the one who desires the work done must be the same as the one who does it, otherwise it would simply be a "You Do It" project.
Using the supplied allen wrench to bolt together the three pieces of thinly veneered plywood that form a Skraarg does not qualify as made some of my own furniture
Ah, but there is the second personal plural, no? There is a sense in which the item came to both of us, and within that "vous" (as it were), I could have been using "tu."
(I just don't want to be dyslexic and grammatically incorrect in one day.)
Jeez, w-lfs-n, it's no fun correcting you if you're going to be like that. Commit ritual suicide or something, shouldn't you?
"I know" wasn't an acceptance of your correction, but a claim that I had already known, and had deliberately ignored the reflexivity of "yourself".
Scofflaw. Deliberate committer of solecisms.
I like the term "toolio" because it brings to mind pithy, non-annoying rap-pop, and my senior year of highschool. discuss.
A toolio can hold two quartos of booze without getting drunk. Discuss.
Using the supplied allen wrench to bolt together the three pieces of thinly veneered plywood that form a Skraarg does not qualify as made some of my own furniture
I love it when I can hear the near-suicide in Tim's comments. I didn't make a couch or anything, but I did see a table lamp that I liked, decided it would be better as a floor lamp, got some lumber, had it cut, sanded and assembled it, added a base and set the lamp atop it. Voila, nifty floor lamp. Give me one good reason I shouldn't have sex before you do.
That's interesting, ogged. I once found a woman's boot on the street, and made a table lamp out of it. I found it several years ago, though, and just made the lamp last year. Before that it used to hang upside-down from my ceiling, sometimes with a bulb and lampshade depending from it.
B-wo, that sounded kinda like this. Are you sure you're safe to be around?
Are you sure you're safe to be around?
I can tell you two things: w-lfs-n is just like this in real life, and he almost had me turn directly into oncoming traffic. Draw your own conclusions.
That's a total lie, or at least overstatement, ogged.
I'm not quite sure what the this is that I'm supposed to be just like in real life, so I'll let that be, but I would have phrased the second part as "... and he once kindly adverted to the fact that a traffic light had turned green".
I can work with that.
"... and he once kindly adverted to the fact that a traffic light had [just]turned green[without troubling me about the cars that were coming in the opposite direction]".
Give me one good reason I shouldn't have sex before you do.
This wasn't addressed to me, but I'll answer as an objective third-party. The answer is, of course, because you apparantly think there's some correlation between making a floor lamp and getting laid.
That's a total lie, or at least overstatement
an overstatement, ben. Mind your parrallels.
I think Ben was searching for the phrase "untrue and completely blown out of proportion."
Hay Micahel! I bet your, like, a pirate cuz you sure do like ARRRRs!
Actually, I'm like a pirate for an entirely unrelated reason.
He can't hit? (That link good in perpetuity.)
I didn't mean that your enjoyment of ARRRs was your motivation in embracing piracy, but rather that it was a sign by which your piracy was visible, and the basis of my bet.
Not so's you'd know. But I do get booty.
References to burying treasure in mineshafts to follow in 5... 4...
You wouldn't believe what I've found in Davy Jones' locker at the Mineshaft.
The answer is, of course, because you apparantly think there's some correlation between making a floor lamp and getting laid.
At least it gives some empirical evidence that he's good with his tool[s].
Ogged's humor has eluded me.
Ben, my dear fellow, you shouldn't judge a pirate by his ARRRs.
Give me one good reason I shouldn't have sex before you do.
Given that you're starting at wasting weight, I doubt you can spare the precious bodily fluids.
That's probably true. I don't like to spend my lifeforce anyway. It's a nice touch that your reason evinces concern for my health.
I don't like to spend my lifeforce anyway. ...of the species "Making a Virtue Out of a Vice." Anyway, given PG's last comment, it doesn't look like your "lifeforce" will be called on any time soon.
oh snap
(Historically) True story:
I was doing some research in 19th century correspondence and came across the following insult, in reference to a Senator: "He hasn't enough snap in him to beget children."
you guys are all totally nuts, and I love you.
Speaking of old sayings, this morning I was reading some Ben Franklin "Poor Richard's almanacs" quotes in a Saturday Evening Post (which is OBVIOUSLY targeted for the over 65 set but this was in a Doctor's waiting room and it was either that or the Mayo Clinic Newsletter - Polyps and You) and I could 'get' almost all of them except the following:
Doors and walls are fools paper.
WTF?
Can anyone help me out here?
An anti-graffiti, anti-sloganeering maxim, maybe?
OR
What you say, even when you think you're in a private setting, is overheard and thereby preserved.
Dunno.
I think it means that fools try to learn about things by reading public notices posted on walls and doors rather than buying a paper from Ben Franklin where such information is compiled and annotated.
Or, maybe it is an eavesdropping slam.
joe,
Yeah, I think you are right. Perhaps in Franklin's day there were billboards posted on doors and walls that contained fraudelent information or hype.
it is closely related to my favorite maxim:
He who writes on shit-house walls/
Rolls his shit in little balls/
He who reads these words of wit/
Eats the little balls of shit.
Of course, Franklin's was shorter, but lacking in color, I think.