Re: Kicking Small Animals Helps Too

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Getting enough sleep means not blogging, I'm afraid.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 9:35 AM
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My wife and I have talked about this a lot. One of the great things about being young is endless potential and options. But living a good life really does require giving that up at some point. Not that most people don't change throughout life, but good living requires commitment. But it's hard if you really prized all those possibilities.


Posted by: cw | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 9:38 AM
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"would have made a world of difference." If it's not impertinent, how?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 9:44 AM
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She's right about the dog. How could you fail to be happier with this fella. No puppyporn there, just pure good dog.


Posted by: Kriston | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 9:56 AM
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Well, just for instance, in college I took German, started off doing great, then almost deliberately pulled back. "Whoa! You don't want to be a scholar of German do you? How dreary." Exact same drill with Greek. Also, despite the fact that I loved it, philosophy--always vacillating, in the back of my mind, between that and writing fiction. My undergrad advisor/mentor said to me at one point, when I was a sophomore I think, "Normally, I discourage people from pursuing philosophy, but I think you could have a good career." A couple of years later he said, "What happened to you?" I even have trouble reading books because I worry about the books I'm not reading. Completely fucking nuts. If I had somehow come to understand that committing to something doesn't mean the death of everything else, and that what you commit to is far less important than the commitment itself, well...


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 9:57 AM
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First Scot Pollard, now the dog.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 9:58 AM
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Nah-uh, you can't ignore the one about having a dog. It's good practice for loving someone, messy and pedestrian as it sometimes is. It's good practice for trusting the loyalty and love you receive. Also, it helps you narrow your options and commit to something. Sheesh. Are you a cat person?

http://civpro.blogs.com/civil_procedure/2005/04/how_to_be_happy.html


Posted by: Scheherazade | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 9:59 AM
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If I had somehow come to understand that committing to something doesn't mean the death of everything else

But, to you, and to a certain extent, it does, doesn't it? You have to really forego some things, you can't come back to them later.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:00 AM
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You have something against cat people?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:00 AM
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It's good practice for loving someone

I have a firm and unshakeable belief that dogs aren't people, and aren't practice for anything. I don't even particularly like touching dogs, but don't mind cleaning up person vomit, or whatever else. (And insofar as I am, I am a cat person, but I wouldn't have a cat either.)


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:04 AM
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You have to really forego some things, you can't come back to them later.

Yes, this is certainly true. What I mean to say is that those parts of you don't have to die. If you don't become a philosopher, for example, your love of philosophy doesn't die, and can still be a source of learning and pleasure.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:05 AM
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I wish I lived in a country that mandated a minimum of four weeks vacation.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:09 AM
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Schwartz has an important Durkheimian point--having restrictions, by giving you stability, is important to happiness. And there's another Durkheimian point here too--it's important to value community for community's sake. Even if there's nothing inherently valuable about the community, loving it for its own sake binds people together and gives them a purpose, and that makes them happier.

But (and here I'm taking off from Barbara Ehrenreich on another Durkheimian, Bellah) there's a dark side to this too. Binding together into a community can involve excluding the Other. If we come to see our (inherently no better than anything else) community as Good In Itself, we can see those who don't belong as Bad--after all, they're not part of our Good community. And ironically we can come to be bound together even tighter by excluding and denigrating the Others.

So, everyone with me: Dog people suck.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:10 AM
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Dog people suck! Weiner people rule! Dog people suck! Weiner people rule!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:11 AM
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Binding together into a community can involve excluding the Other.

Sure enough, but one thing to keep in mind is the relative porousness or barriers to entry into a community. That's one of the reasons blog communities are so great. Want to join? Leave a comment, see what happens.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:14 AM
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I thought we established that only biscuit conditionals can rule.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:16 AM
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Want to join? Leave a comment, see what happens.

You'll be ignored for a few weeks of repeated comments until you say something funny enough that a regular will respond.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:17 AM
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Binding together into a community can involve excluding the Other.

There's a place at Fascist Island in Costa Mesa calling itself a club, modelled, I suppose, on the idea of society clubs or whatnot. Except its slogan is "where you belong", or something to that effect. They fundamentally misunderstand that such a club is where I and my kind belong—you don't. And that either makes us better than you or confirms it. A club where everyone belongs: life. Fuck that!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:17 AM
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Sure enough, but one thing to keep in mind is the relative porousness or barriers to entry into a community. That's one of the reasons blog communities are so great.

Also one of the reasons blog communities are so fragile.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:19 AM
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Fragile, how?

(Just ignore chopper.)


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:21 AM
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If I had me a weiner dog biscuit, I would smother it with gravy.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:21 AM
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(Just ignore chopper.)

I'm so roneree, so roneree...


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:32 AM
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No Chinese jokes.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:34 AM
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Korean/alien, actually.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:37 AM
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That's a very good dog, Kriston.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:42 AM
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Dog people suck! Weiner people rule! Dog people suck! Weiner people rule!

What about dog weiner people?


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:47 AM
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That is a nice looking dog. It looks like a German Shepherd or GS mix. I'd love to get one of those dogs. Someday, when I have cats that aren't so high strung.

I hate to admit this, but I often wonder about people who are not any kind of animal person. It seems so odd that there isn't a single kind of pet a person might like. I guess if you didn't grow up with pets, you're probably less likely to be into them as an adult. I know this opinion is wrong...there should be nothing weird about not being an animal person...and yet it does seem weird.


Posted by: annie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:52 AM
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Surely you mean weiner dog people.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:55 AM
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It seems weird to me to be a pet person.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:55 AM
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Ogged, I can understand not being a dog person. I'm not particularly interested in or moved by cats. And I am too dismissive of cat owners in generally - I sound like I really don't like them, when in fact I'm just kind of neutral.

What I think always happens that shouldn't happen is that people talk about how much they dig their dog or cat, and then the "other side" jumps in and says "well cats [or dogs, whichever] are like that, too, only better." And I don't think the same characteristics are involved in cat-owning and dog-owning at all. Cats are pretty, they purr, they're soft, they're clean, and they can do as they like, with a lot less care. You needn't come home every night if you have a cat. I suppose there's something to like about that, for those who dig cats.

But cats aren't like dogs, and although perhaps loving a cat feels like loving a dog, I don't think choosing to have one and take care of it involves as many of the steps that make ME happy about owning a dog as cat people like to think. You can't just switch them, depending on your preference, and say "either one works." The preference itself means something, as do the particular burdens and benefits of ownership. Dogs need you, every day, to participate in their eating and their exercise and even their pooping, if you don't have wild woods out your back door. And they love you with a particular playful adoration that's different from most cats I've seen.

Hmmm. I never realized that until I wrote it. I don't have anything against cats or cat people, but it irritates me a tiny bit to have either kind of owner assume that the types of pets are fungible, and that pet ownership is all the same.


Posted by: Scheherazade | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 10:59 AM
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Though I suppose I had a horse phase, as girls often do. I used to ride a pony called Rocky, who I was very attached to.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:01 AM
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Hide the weiner dog before the Apostro finds it!


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:08 AM
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Yeah, I reckon the opposite scenario would seem weird to a non-pet person. Some folks disparage the devotion people have for their pets. Sometimes I even feel funny about the things I do for my cats when I could spend that time, energy and money helping a needy person.


Posted by: annie | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:15 AM
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It's one of my least favorite aspects of office life, that I have to hear about people's pets, because it's considered appropriate small talk. I doubt I'd be interested in these people's children, so any talk of pets is too much talk of pets, as far as I'm concerned.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:19 AM
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any talk of pets is too much talk of pets

My cat can eat a whooooole watermelon!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:21 AM
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Heh. Cats, dogs, horses...and I have 2 rats and 2 snakes.

Then again, I'm just strange. ;)


Posted by: Karyn | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:23 AM
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what about talk about talk about pets?


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:23 AM
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ac, have I told you lately about Audrey? She's found her feet now, and can roll over, and she's eating solid food, which means that her poop is smelly!


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:24 AM
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Are they always the same two rats, or do you sort of cycle through rats depending on the snakes' eating habits?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:25 AM
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Karyn is strange, but luckily she's hot.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:25 AM
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[geek]Same two rats though I do have such a morbid sense of humor I named one of them Menchi after the "Emergency Food Supply" in Excel Saga (yes, and I'm a fangirl to boot)[/geek]


Posted by: Karyn | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:27 AM
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Can we not pretend that dog people, cat people, and non-pet people are all equivalent? The hierarchy is as follows, from greatest decency/normalcy down: (1) dog people, (2) non-pet people, (3) cat people. I'm a non-pet person. Hard experience has taught me not to get intimately involved with cat people.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:37 AM
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Rats and snakes are good pets. My dad recently got two russian tortoises and named them Boris and Natasha.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:40 AM
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SCMT: Really? There are freaks of either persuasion (e.g., my Mom: crazy cat lady; Sharon Osborne: crazy dog lady). Those of who trends toward normal relations with our pets are just fine. Nonpet people, on the other hand, are dead inside.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:44 AM
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Fuck to oboe: Those of us who trend toward.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:44 AM
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I find single women with one or two cats sexy. The cat adds a bit of mystery and I think: what are her feline traits? But more than two reverses the trend.

I find no such correlation with single women and dogs. Dog ownership might indicate positive traits, but it does nothing for my libido.

I am a freak.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:49 AM
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On the other point, about keeping your options open, I'd disagree. I don't think it's the happiest way to be, but seriously committing to the wrong thing can be pretty devastating.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:51 AM
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I am looking for advice concerning a vaguely on-topic problem. Everyone here was so good with L.'s college dilemma that I figured I'd give it a shot.

I'm thinking of quitting my job because I miss my cats too much when I'm at work. The problem is that the only way I can think of to make up for the lost income is to have the cats start appearing in television commercials. But, of course, that would defeat the whole purpose of quitting my job!

What should I do? Should I get new cats, who will then be the money-makers? Or should I send one out on auditions and keep the other one at home with me? If so, which one?

Here's a picture of my two cats, in case that information helps:

http://www.ratemykitten.com/ratemy/kitten?image=199408

Thanks!


Posted by: pjs | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:51 AM
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With a problem like that, the only solution is to set your cats free and join them in the wild, foraging for food.

Rat tastes pretty much like chicken.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:54 AM
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I find single women with one or two cats sexy. The cat adds a bit of mystery and I think: what are her feline traits?

You, my friend, are headed for Big Trouble. But then, that's what youth is for.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:57 AM
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The problem with Chopper's schema is that not all dog-people are equivalent. You have small-dog people, medium-dog people, and big-dog people. Then there's cuddly-dog people and aggresive-crazy-dog people. Then there's also cute-dog people, and hemerroid-ugly dog (poodles) people.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 11:58 AM
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You forgot weiner dog people! And Poland.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:00 PM
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LB,

C'est pas possible. If rats were tasty, the cajuns here would eat them. Or, failing that, the French would.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:01 PM
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Michael: Point taken, although Standard Poodles sans "poodle cut" are quite attractive, in my opinion. Ugly=English Bulldog.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:01 PM
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To follow SCMT's pet schema, I'd say the commitment one, in descending order, is (1) committing to good things/people, (2) keeping options open, (3) committing to bad things/people.

I say this with my married-to-the-alcoholic story in mind.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:03 PM
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Is it really such a big leap from nutria, Michael?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:04 PM
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Speaking gastronomically, I'm thinking:

1) Giant guinea pigs

2) Nutria

3) Rats


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:06 PM
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ac- Even with the details of that married to the alcoholic story burned into my mind, I still want to ask how sure you are your friend would have been better off keeping their options open.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:06 PM
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SCMT -- tell me about it. Yet I am drawn to the siamese perched atop the Tivo.

I have a particular distaste for very small dogs.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:08 PM
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Very small dogs are the worst, because so pathetic: clearly they realize that they would be better off as cats, and are trying to achieve cathood, but their doggy nature will out.

I imagine the plights of a very small dog and a pre-op transsexual are similar.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:11 PM
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If she'd been less committed to him, she would have broken up with him a long time ago. She desperately wants to have kids, is now getting divorced, could have used that time to meet someone else and settle down, since that's what she wanted to do. She felt a sense of obligation to this person, in part because people seem to value commitment for its own sake, it may mean that she doesn't have kids. Which would be pretty sad for her, since she wants them so much.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:11 PM
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ac, that's precisely the story of my wife's first marriage. Now we have a four-month-old son. Keep hope alive.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:13 PM
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I always feel nervous around very small dogs because I can't get over the paranoia that I'm going to step on the living puffball. And I wear heavy boots.


Posted by: Karyn | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:14 PM
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I think you give pre-op transexuals a bad name. Little dogs are like miniature fascists without arms, the very picture of impotent hostility.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:15 PM
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the yellow bastard is apt, if he were smaller and couldn't talk.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:18 PM
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Also, long-haired cat people are different from short-haired cat people. Long-haired cats are total uggos.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:21 PM
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re: commitment. I would agree with ac's rankings, and add that, ex ante, it is often difficult to differentiate between groups a) and c). But, given enough time, we all feel like we have to choose something, and what we choose often comes down more to timing than to the substance of the thing. So hopefully our choices are at least ok, but sometimes they are horrible, and there is no way to prevent all of the potentially horrible choices ex ante except by chance.

And I like chicks with cats, but not too many.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:28 PM
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Did I kill this thread with 64, because I thought it was a particularly interesting use of language.

guess I'll do my job.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:30 PM
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sorry it took me so long to respond, Michael Erik Dyson is on a roll on NPR.

Apo, thanks for the link, I had no idea about that movement. I don't think nutria are as ugly as rats; they just have ugly tails. Certainly better lookin' than possums, and no uglier than squirrels, which are both eaten here, though not in restaurants.

Anyway, yeah, I'd eat nutria before I ate rat. Maybe in a bleu cheese sause.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:30 PM
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Speaking of squirrels, in high school I wanted to design a poster featuring a cartoon yellow duck in the center (realistic aside from the color) and the words

      DON'T                             EAT

DUCK                                           BRAINS

around.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:35 PM
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because they won't fill you up and you'll still be hungary.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:42 PM
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And THAT reminds me of Tom Lehrer...

"All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon, when we're poisoning pigeons in the park..."


Posted by: Austro | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:43 PM
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Seriously, don't eat squirrel brains.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:45 PM
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What say you to hateful small yippy dogs, Sherry?

But your point about the differences between cats and dogs is well taken. Not the same at all, and neither are the people who prefer one to the other.

Personally, and it's my blog, so I can personally away, I'm not just a non-pet person, I'm a no living thing person: no plants either. Y'all are crazy.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:45 PM
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A bit more seriously, a lot of this is culture bound, of course. Iranians think it's simultaneously hilarious and dirty that Americans keep pets. When we hear (probably apocryphal) stories about Iranians who have acquired pets, eyebrows are raised, and meaningful glances exchanged.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:47 PM
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Dead inside.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:48 PM
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I have a nice little collection of plants and herbs. WTF is wrong with you, Ogged? Why do you hate life?


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:53 PM
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my plant dream, btw, is to have a bonsai forest.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:53 PM
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The great thing about cats is that they will bite you. One of my friends whose family had several cats had one named Dorothy or Doris or Barbara or something like that that would let you pet it, then grab your hand and jaw it. So adorable.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:54 PM
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What you need, Ogged, is a low-maintenance pet that doesn't require much attention. And then you could totally refute Chopper's "dead inside" theory.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:55 PM
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He likes life, if it is at least theoretically capable of quoting Nietsche at him!


Posted by: Austro | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:55 PM
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You can learn a lot about life from cats.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:56 PM
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Apo, ogged is too thin already. Skin and bones. His mother must be very worried.

Bonsai trees are neat. I used to take care of one name Tree-san.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:57 PM
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Tree sans height?


Posted by: Austro | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:58 PM
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Ben, if you're interested, my (gf's) cat would be interested in biting you. Shall we arrange things? Do you require a dowery?


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:58 PM
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I think i ll apologise for that now and go sit in the corner again


Posted by: Austro | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:58 PM
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This is just a biting, Michael; I don't think a dowry will be necessary.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 12:59 PM
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austro will be ignored for making a bad pun not involving a shaggy dog story.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:00 PM
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Ben, ok, I have penciled you in for a biting on Thurs. Kitty looks forward to it.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:02 PM
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Hedgehogs. It's all about the hedgehogs.


Posted by: profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:02 PM
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before or after the nutria dans un sauce au fromage blue?


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:03 PM
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Michael, how will i notice?


Posted by: Austro | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:04 PM
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It's always about food with profgrrrrl.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:04 PM
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Enough about Ron Jeremy, pg. We get it. You're smitten.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:04 PM
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I've got a girlfriend who bites. But I'm not lending her out.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:04 PM
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I didn't mean that how it came out. She likes to bite hands and such.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:06 PM
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My sister was bitten by a moose once...


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:06 PM
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pg: if you're unfamiliar with the name, I'd reccomend against investigating while at work.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:07 PM
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Austro, aren't you british? Aren't you people used to being ignored by Americans yet?


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:07 PM
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I think we've reached the missing shaggy dog story...


Posted by: Austro | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:08 PM
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Mostly, Michael, we're grateful for it too.


Posted by: Austro | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:09 PM
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How sweet, Chopper thinks PG is an innocent lady.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:09 PM
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fromage bleu, no?

møøse bites can be very serious.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:11 PM
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I've heard her giggle--I know she's not innocent.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:11 PM
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I'd now be curious to know whether Ben likes being bitten by girls.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:15 PM
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oui, je ne peux pas taper.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:16 PM
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ac, just let me know if you're in Chicago any time soon.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:18 PM
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Ben, she's seeing someone and obsessed with another, remember? But the ladies seem to find you charming...


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:19 PM
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If you had answered in the form, "I do if ac is in Chicago any time soon," that would have been a biscuit conditional, right?


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:20 PM
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No, I think it's the converse of one.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:21 PM
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Pleasantly noisy in here, isn't it?

Re: hateful yippy dogs -- not so much. They are best suited as snacks for larger animals.

A cat-loving friend likes to assure me, "Your dog is one of the rare, good dogs." I'm torn about whether to believe that -- because I'm not inclined to agree that most dogs aren't good, but I am inclined to agree that my particular dog is far superior to most other dogs, such that even cat people can perceive how terrific she is.


Posted by: Scheherazade | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:22 PM
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Just idle curiosity, I assure you.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:22 PM
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I meant inverse.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:22 PM
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never explain, ac, the hole just gets deeper.


Posted by: Austro | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:24 PM
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At the Mineshaft.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:24 PM
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Sorry, reflex. That reall does stretch the definition of Mineshaft a little far, no?


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:25 PM
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actually I found that to be one of the better "at the mineshaft" comments


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:26 PM
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I find the definition of a converse biscuit more intriguing to be honest.


Posted by: Austro | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:27 PM
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I've chosen something now, albeit with lots of fussing. I'm going to Tulane.


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:27 PM
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Really? Mine has the same from as Weiner's prototype here.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:28 PM
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very good L. spend an apprpriate amount of time in the french quarter.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:30 PM
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But I might say, truthfully, "I do if you're biting" even though I don't enjoy being bitten by girls in the general case.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:31 PM
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or (if you spend too much time) you'll end up like me, unable to spell appropriate


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:31 PM
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bw likes to do the biting himself


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:32 PM
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Biscuit conditional: If you want X, then X are available.

Inverse biscuit: If X is available, then I want X.

109, ""I do if ac is in Chicago any time soon," looks to me like an inverse biscuit.

and to L.: Dude! Everyone I've known who went to Tulane had a wonderful time. You really didn't have any bad options, but Tulane is a good one.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:34 PM
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Congrats, L.! Enjoy some nutria for us, won't you?


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:35 PM
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I'm touched.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:35 PM
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Truthfully.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:36 PM
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He enjoys being bitten by specific girls, it seems. Your common, or garden, girl however can bite all she wants; he will not enjoy it. So now we need the class of specific girls to be better defined and we shall make progress. Tho goodness knows wheretowards.


Posted by: Austro | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:36 PM
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Re 125: doesn't the biscuit conditional specifically leave out the "then?"

It's more: IF X, THIS.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:38 PM
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I was looking at it as a statement which seems to have the form of the truth value of the antecedent depending on the truth value of the consequent, but where that can't actually be the case.

So, whether or not Ben likes being bitten can't be dependent on ac's presence in Chicago, therefore biscuit conditional under the idea of them I'd formed. But maybe I was overly generalizing.

Or, what Chopper just said.

Sounds like a good decision, L.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:42 PM
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I don't want to come back in (from teaching logic) JUST to explain biscuit conditionals, so I'll say this, in response to ac's 34: A friend used to have exactly the same feeling, and would berate me for telling cat stories. Then she had to take care of my cat for a week. Twice in the first three days she e-mailed me cat stories. Later on she said that she had been listening to her officemates drivel on about their pets, and was waiting impatiently so she could interrupt with an Allie story. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" she said.

So, beware! Your brain can be taken over too.

This picture is from the beginning of that visit (warning: I am visible in this picture).


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:53 PM
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Devil cat!

Devil cat!


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:55 PM
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But you haven't explained the biscuit at all!

And the same thing happened to my father, thirty years ago. A beat-up tomcat staggered into our backdoor. Mom wanted to take him to the vet, and Dad didn't want to take in a stray, especially with little kids in the house.

By two weeks later, he was calling home from work, asking about the cat: "What is my son doing now?"


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 1:58 PM
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OK, so the deal with the biscuit conditional is that the antecedent isn't actually relevant to the truth of the consequent. "There are biscuits in the sideboard if you want some"--of course, there are biscuits in the sideboard, whether you want any or not.

"I like being bitten by girls if ac is in Chicago anytime soon" is a biscuit conditional if the speaker likes being bitten by girls anyway, and is only mentioning the possibility in case ac is looking for something to do in Chicago. It isn't if the speaker would only enjoy being bitten by ac--then ac's presence in Chicago is relevant to the truth of "I like being bitten by girls."

While typing that I thought--would any NYC-area reader be interested in seeing Misha Mengelberg and George Lewis Thursday at the Stone? I can only make the 10 pm show (I'm flying in to Newark that night). I'll probably have to grab a quick bite to eat before that, if anyone wants to meet for some hurried ingestion on the Lower East Side (that's a biscuit conditional too). Details on my transport trauma here.

I realize that that was not the best juxtaposition. Don't worry, won't try nothin'.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 2:23 PM
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OK, looking over LB's definition of "inverse biscuit," that's actually also probably a biscuit conditional. "I want biscuits if there are any" frequently means "I want biscuits"--which is only relevant if there are any. Though it could be a statement of adjusting your ends to reality: "I want biscuits if there are any, but if there aren't I don't mind--I will proceed happily on my way."

Of course, most of us are probably more likely to express the reverse inverse biscuit conditional in the non-biscuity sense. Like Morrissey, we want the ones we can't have.

Yes, I am aware that I killed the thread by suggesting a real-life meeting. (Cue puppy dog look.)


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:04 PM
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Awww. Actually, I was thinking that it sounded like fun, but I'm having one of those weeks where I'm pretty much chained to my desk. Actually, most weeks are like that.

There's a reason I comment here all the time -- this job is completely not compatible with social interaction with other human beings.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:23 PM
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Too bad. Er, is your sister free?


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:24 PM
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I should perhaps make clear that that's a joke. Stupid real name.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:26 PM
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She will, in fact, kick my ass severely if she ever figures out that she's become a running gag on a blog she doesn't read. (And yes, I figured that you were joking.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:29 PM
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Similarly, my exam schedule means no Thursday night out this week.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:31 PM
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I am truly traumatized by the Ron Jeremy connection. I did know who he is. But beyond that, no, I did not know.

I'm a woman. I read porn. I don't watch it. Duh.


Posted by: profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:32 PM
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But was it so much a joke that if her sister were free, you'd say no?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:40 PM
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I really don't want a link or anything, but looking back over the thread, the only interpretation I can place on your last post is that porn exists in which Ron Jeremy interacts with hedgehogs. Please tell me I'm mistaken.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:40 PM
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Of course not!


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:40 PM
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Er, to 143, I regret to say.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:41 PM
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Not that I know that it doesn't apply to 144 as well. But, as the three of you who care might be aware, I get to say things even if I don't know them.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:42 PM
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Shows your good sense.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:43 PM
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LB, thankfully no. It is a nickname.


Posted by: profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:43 PM
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I feel much better now.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:44 PM
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148 was to ?


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:44 PM
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145.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:44 PM
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182.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:46 PM
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Re 111

Pleasantly noisy, yes that's us. Glad to hear your thoughts on yippy dogs; sound judgment. I'm willing to believe that if I were at all inclined to like dogs, I could like your dog.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:46 PM
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Friendly.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:48 PM
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Precisely.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:52 PM
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You know, MW, this saturday and sunday in Chicago there's a whole hell of a lot of AACM stuff going on, including this, involving Lewis:


* AACM Fire Trio - Jodie Christian, Reggie Nicholson, Ari Brown; George Lewis & Ann Ward; 8 Bold Souls w/ Fred Anderson; Nicole Mitchell's Black Earth Ensemble w/ James Newton & Dee Alexander; Douglas Ewart, Mwata Bowden, Edward Wilkerson, Rita Warford, Oliver Lake; Isaiah Jackson, Corey Wilkes, Vincent Davis, Art 'Turk' Burton; Great Black Music Ensemble w/ Joseph Jarman & Oliver Lake

7:30 at the MCA - 220 E. Chicago - 312·280·2660 ($20)


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:52 PM
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Almost puppyish, to keep this on topic.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:53 PM
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Lord knows we can't go getting off topic.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:54 PM
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to keep this on topic

LizardBreath is bann...aw, hell.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:54 PM
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I understand people have gottem banned for that.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 3:55 PM
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Ben--but I'll still be in New Jersey. Well, not Sunday. Hmm.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:01 PM
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One of these days I'm actually going to believe you when I get banned, and my billable hours will skyrocket.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:02 PM
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Wait--all those people are playing the Sunday concert? I count seven acts. How will they all fit on? Anyway, I am so there. Class should be interesting Monday.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:04 PM
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I just assumed that your time here was being billed to some hated client. Try it.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:05 PM
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As near as I can tell, all those people are playing the Sunday concert. I have no idea how they're going to manage it.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:09 PM
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Literally? It's big tobacco.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:13 PM
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Now see, if big tobacco is paying for commenters time here, that's striking a blow for the forces of good, no?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:18 PM
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'


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:18 PM
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Eesh. {He says, a largely non- but former pack a day- smoker}


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:18 PM
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I have many and complicated rationalizations for this, but they all sound much better after I've had a couple of drinks.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:20 PM
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The only rationalizations you need are Sally and Mander. As for the rest, fuck'em if they can't take a joke.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:23 PM
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Take a pew, LB. What'll you have?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:23 PM
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In this context, I've been thinking of the little guy as Newt.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:24 PM
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And a Bushmills, water back, is mine. Thanks.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:24 PM
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I worked for several years for a business process reengineering consultancy whose methodology I thought be extraordinarily suspect, but the money was good.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:25 PM
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If that helps.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:26 PM
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"water back"?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:27 PM
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Soon I will be teaching ethics to accounting students in Texas. I figure if the past is any indication of the future I'll have the chance to see an alum doing a perp walk within 20 years.

Also, I applied for a Bradley foundation-sponsored job once, and I didn't get it.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:28 PM
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She drinks her whisk(e)y neat, but with a glass of water on the side.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:28 PM
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Jeebus, ogged. Get out and live a little.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:28 PM
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Accompanied by a glass of water, rather than mixed with water.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:29 PM
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Shit. I was waiting for 182 for the last 45 minutes.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:29 PM
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I thought "neat" meant water on the side.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:30 PM
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Neat = Straight up


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:31 PM
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I could go for a thread of commenters listing their current favorite drink, though I suspect w-lfs-n will claim he drinks motor oil or something equally appetizing.

Knob Creek (or other bourbon. depending on availability), rocks.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:31 PM
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Definitions here.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:33 PM
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Whiskey—Bushmills is Irish.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:35 PM
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Ok, thanks.

Macallan, 12 year. (On those rare occasions that I drink.)


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:35 PM
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Depends on the weather/situation--

If hot: a vodka tonic with lemon, not lime.

If cold: Lagavulin.

If pre-dinner: Grey Goose Martini, very dry, half dirty.

Or beer. Beer is good.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:35 PM
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"Dirty"?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:37 PM
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Macallan is nice -- I just got lit up on a bottle of the 18 year old at a seder. (Which, come to think of it, should have been verboten, shouldn't it? But it was a prety low-key seder, kosherness wise.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:37 PM
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A splash of the olive brine. I find that if you just say "dirty," the bartender overdoes it.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:37 PM
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Dirty = with some juice from the olive bottle.

You don't hang out in bars much, do you?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:38 PM
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I've been to bars since college! Three or four times, I think.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:39 PM
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My seder was all kosher wine. I would have killed for good Scotch.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:40 PM
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As the "cry, cry, masturbate, cry" thread established, ogged doesn't hang out much.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:40 PM
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The closest I come to motor oil is ouzo. (The closest I have come to motor oil is a tie between raki and tsipouro.)

If pressed, AOTW I would call an Aviation my favorite drink, though I use different proportions (2oz gin, 1/2oz each lemon juice & maraschino), though I recently went through a bottle of Lillet and liked it lots.

If pre-dinner: Grey Goose Martini, very dry, half dirty.

Just be honest with yourself and do a shot of vodka followed by a shot of brine, mang.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:43 PM
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And I really want to get my hands on one of the Clear Creek eaux de vie, after having had some of the pear in a restaurant.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:44 PM
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A vodka martini is a sipping drink, and if made correctly tastes almost like water.

If I'm doing shots, I'll drink tequila, because really what's the point of doing shots if you're not drinking tequila?


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:46 PM
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A vodka martini is a sipping drink, and if made correctly tastes almost like water.

So ... drink some water!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 4:53 PM
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If I had a dog that crapped silver dollars, I'd drink Barolos and Brunellos all the livelong day. When I have a mixed drink, it's a gin and tonic.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 5:40 PM
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It should taste almost like water, but kick you right between the eyes.

Alternate answer: Why don't you drink some Kool Aid?


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 5:41 PM
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mim's gin. lots a ice, lime, and tonic is where it's, as they say, at.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 5:56 PM
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I've been to bars since college! Three or four times, I think.

Oooh. So let's go to a bar on our date!


Posted by: profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 5:59 PM
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Let's definitely not.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 6:03 PM
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I've been to bars since college! Three or four times, I think.

Thinking about it, this goes a fair way to explaining the paucity of your sins.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 6:06 PM
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Yeah. Loosen up Oggy, baby. You're just too damn tight.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 3-05 7:28 PM
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We've already established that I'm a girl drink drunk; but when I don't want to get drunk in a hurry, I like beer. Or gin'n'tonic.

If I were drinking someone's extremely good Scotch or wine, I'd be afraid that I'd laugh at the wrong time.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05- 4-05 7:38 AM
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I feel I should say, given my vampire/biting remarks, that I'm partial to the Bloody Mary.

But I'm more of a gin & tonic type.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 05- 4-05 7:45 AM
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