I'm younger than you are, but I agree with the sentiment.
Some of them are just trying to ward off mack dads like yourself.
That's not true, ogged.
Even some of the grossly disfigured people are married.
I'm your age or close to it, and everyone I know is already divorced.
Except for your cobloggers.
Also, Sam, if what you say is true, Ogged may have violated a relevance implicature but he didn't speak the false.
Oh, you meant gross disfigurement of the mind.
I was speaking for you, not about you, Labs.
ac, tell them to take their rings off, then.
I started to make the same point as 5, couldn't remember the term "relevance implicature," and then saw on preview that labs had made it.
I'm close to your age and married, but don't wear a wedding ring. And ac is right - nearly everybody I know is divorced.
It was actually a joke. I pretended to console ogged by implying that his situation couldn't be as bad as he says it is. And then, BAM!, even grossly misfigured people are better off than you, ogged!
See what I did there?
I just met a decidedly undisfigured (figured?) 28 year old divorced woman this weekend--she looked a bit like Amelia Warner--who told me she'd moved out of her artist husband's house to go live with her grandmother who has dementia, and said that she would prefer a year of the nonsensical and heartbreaking ravings of her old nana to even one more day with her husband. So there may be some consolation in that.
No rings whatsoever... and I am just a smidge older than you, as I recall.
It's my pinky toes, isn't it. I'd give up the body, grace and rhythm that 14 years of ballet gave me, if I could just get rid of these wonky toes. They are keeping me from true happiness. I know it.
ps stone all the smug marrieds.
I can't now remember whether I've always thought of myself as, or have been told that I would be, great second husband material. Maybe there is some hope, after all. But my poor Iranian family; first I'm engaged to a Jew, now I'm vulturing divorcees.
Some people wear both, and they should be beaten.
WTF? It's called a set. I think most married women wear them that way.
Also, have you considered that maybe all of the women you meet are wearing fake rings simply to keep you from making advances?
I think most married women wear them that way.
I think you think this implies more than it does.
If you and SB are right that the rings are apotropaic, then I guess I should start ignoring them, and take my chances.
I think you think this implies more than it does.
That their husbands spent thousands of dollars to buy them a shiny rock and would be pissed if it was only worn during the months of the engagement?
As I looked up apotropaic I was set on it meaning "frequently used as a false signal," but no such luck.
Sometimes these women will even walk around with male acquaintances who will pose as their husbands. Remain undeterred.
I did once get friend and sometime commenter Kitty Darfour to approach a woman and give her his number while her boyfriend watched. They almost came to blows.
They almost came to blows.
But then they zipped up and walked away.
the body, grace and rhythm that 14 years of ballet gave me
Are you coming on to me (or anyone else), 27?
Are you coming on to me (or anyone else), 27?
w-lfs-n, I'd imagine.
And, IIRC, she's substantially younger than you, ogged. For some reason she confuses everyone else with w-lfs-n.
Who's younger than me? 27 is, as she says in her comment, a bit older than me.
As a guy who has gone through several true loves, and a couple of "I'll love you when you're sixty-four" relationships, to reach his late forties, y'know, cry me a river.
I mean that only kindly and gently, of course. From one beaten person to another who might or might not be.
(Note: that's not "beaten" in a "I won't get up again tomorrow" way.)
"Than" is so obviously a preposition, the conjunction faction must be all of them trolls.
Ogged, I know several single, attractive, intelligent, largely non-crazy women in the Twin Cities of about your age (30 or so). In addition to not being located in Oggedville, however, I'm sure they wouldn't be up to your crazy standards. So, umm, sucks for you.
I think it's an illusion. You're just hanging out in the wrong bars or something. There are plenty of women who put their careers first and are having second thoughts. Swoop in!
My girlfriends are typically crazier than my standards.
You might be right, Adam. I'm basing this on my time in the airport and on the planes this weekend. Every time I thought "She's kinda cute," there was a ring.
Ogged, I know several single, attractive, intelligent, largely non-crazy women
"Largely non-crazy" seems dangeously similar to the medical euphemism mildly uncomfortable.
I used the phrase "largely non-crazy" simply because I have never dated a woman who was not at least a little crazy. That's OK--a little crazy keeps things interesting--but, y'know, fair warning.
There are plenty of women who put their careers first and are having second thoughts.
I wonder about the wisdom of such advice. I'm sure that there are unmarried women who find that being paid to be fungible is less than fulfilling. But isn't their newfound desire for a husband simply an example of them chasing a new myth - happiness and meaning can be found entirely inside a marriage and family? That seems like a lot of burden for any relationship to bear, and I suspect such marriages are doomed to failure or (worse) enduring misery.
Really, the problem is the same that single women our age complain about - all the good ones are gay or married.
all the good ones are gay or married
Well, I know this isn't true. Just among the commenters here there are cool women who I don't think are either. And I know several others in real life.
Can we just settle on the Postulate of Universal Craziness and be done with this? I know I've been impatient with women's supposed "craziness," but then I realize -- oh wow! I'm actually intolerably weird as well! (Maybe this wouldn't hold in Ogged's case.)
At least you have the release valve of shipping someone over from Iran in case of emergency.
There's weird, and then there's crazy. They sometimes come in the same package, but they are most definitely not the same thing.
Well, I know this isn't true. Just among the commenters here there are cool women who I don't think are either. And I know several others in real life.
Yes, I realize that. I would note that you could probably say the same to women who complained about a dearth of decent men. I was just saying.
Anyway, I do worry that at our age, a lot of the women I meet want to get married to someone/anyone and get on with it. The man is really incidental to the baby. Maybe that's the way to go, but it creeps me out. I suppose as long as we keep no-fault divorces, it should work out fine.
Since you brought up the topic, sort of, I just wanted to note that I'm getting married tomorrow. We haven't bought rings yet though, and may never get around to it. We're not opposed, just not bothered at the moment.
So hopefully that fact qualifies us for some happy vibes, or least the avoidance of any beatings?
No beatings for Mitch! Yay!
Congratulations, Mitch and Mrs.!
5: You know, Sam only implicated that all of the non-disfigured are married....
Mitch gets the congratulatory beating! Hooray!
(Congratulations!)
Congratulations and best of luck, Mitch.
Just among the commenters here there are cool women who I don't think are either
You don't think they are either cool or women?
Congratulations, Mitch!
May you bake good bread together!
No fewer, but possibly greater, than two people in my "cohort", as they call them, (22%) are married.
Mitch,
Wow, congratulations to you and your bride!
And, ogged, have you seen the movie "Sideways" yet? Take the advice of the actor/friend. Why are you looking at rings? They don't prove anything!
Every alleged woman on the Internet is really a 47-year-old, balding, fat man. Discuss.
A good chunk of my friends are married, engaged, and/or pregnant and increasingly disdainful of anyone who hasn't done this yet, suspecting them of perpetuating a vast left-wing conspiracy to, well, I'm not sure, but I think it involves shoes and martinis and a luscious lifestyle.
"greater" should so be "more," Ben.
To which I say, don't start none, won't be none.
Are you saying you wear both a wedding band and an engagement ring, PG?
Or is it "second husband material"?
I wear neither. I was just taking exception at ogged's initial post.
I missed the second husband material bit in the comments before. But hey -- what's wrong with divorced women? It isn't always our fault ...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with divorced women.
If ogged is getting accused of being "second husband" material he has got a bad case of the "good guy" syndrome, whcih has almost nothing to do with actually being a good guy.
Oh look, there's profgrrrrl. Funny that I've met you, PG, and didn't realize you were disfigured.
I thought that was it, but frankly I've given up on Ogged ever picking up on the numerous lovely and talented women who make a play for him at the Mineshaft. I mean, if his account is correct he didn't even try to hug you on Teh Date. What is to be done?
Oh, and there's nothing wrong with divorced women; they're just not traditional Iranian bride material (which, I hasten to add, does not rule them out for me).
Congrats, Mitch! Also, "than" is a conjunction!
That's fantastic, Mitch. I also just got some great news: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.
he didn't even try to hug you on Teh Date
Indeed, he did not. I would have been open to a hug, but I feared invading his personal space. I know ogged is fussy about this stuff.
And in fact I've since seen ogged one other time but not blogged it because I was undercover and not wanting to post that I had gone out of town and landed in oggedville ... and there was no hug then either.
Apparently I am disfigured in a way that is not noticeable? Hrm.
they're just not traditional Iranian bride material
Were the women on that Iranian hookup site (who I assume are traditional Iranian bride material?) disfigured?
You're going all literal on my ass here, PG. If you want a hug, all you have to do is jump me and not get all offended when I say "What in God's name are you doing, woman?"
You should probably make it easier on your prospective huggers.
I find that addressing females as "woman" is the best of all possible strategies for endearing myself to them.
69: !!! Maybe you don't need to work on your game, Ogged.
I mean, it sounds like at this rate you may actually be able to get PG to jump you. As long as nobody reveals the game plan.
Also, "than" is a conjunction!
See? Unsupportable bad-faith provocation.
Good thing everyone here is so discreet.
ogged, man, it might be a good idea to stop replacing the "kick me" sign taped to your ass every time it falls off. you're constantly reminding me of a guy from my high school who was forever approaching girls and saying, "you wouldn't want to go out with me, would you?"
Wait, snees—that's a bad strategy?
Never tried it myself, but the guy in high school -- who was of Iranian extraction, come to think of it -- never seemed to get anywhere. Actually, that guy was quite into philosophy and using words that he knew no one else would understand. Hmmm.
How could you have guessed? Agricola, agricolae... (priest pulling me by the hair out of my chair as i hesitate when trying to come up with the dative).
Oh come one. First conjugation is totally easy.
So is first declension (ahem). And "oh come one"? Your pedantry fails you three times in one comment, w-lfs-n.
But I will admit to being a bit intimidated when, at 13, I had a Tony Soprano-looking Jesuit hovering over me as I tried to come to grips with cases, something I hadn't even heard of before the previous day.
Yes. Declension. On. (Isn't that two failures?)
Back when I was a single man, I employed what seems to be Ogged's strategy for getting girls: act like you're repulsed and terrified by all physical contact and hope that some woman finds that cute and challenging enough to attempt to vigorously overcome it. It didn't work very well back then. I can't imagine how badly it would come off at an age at which you're supposed to have acquired some degree of sophistication about such things.
act like you're repulsed and terrified by all physical contact
I guess I can see how I come off this way. It's not the case, however.
Sorry, w-lfs-n, i imagined the third. but if i were you, i would no doubt have pointed out that there should have been a comma after "oh".
I guess I can see how I come off this way. It's not the case, however.
Ok, then, everyone ... next time you see ogged run on up to him and give him a big wet sloppy kiss :)
Thanks everyone! I'm all shaved and cleaned up (which I do nicely, I'm told), and we're off to Athens City Hall in a coupla hours. Just gotta get this tie to look right.
But for having a blog, I'd totally liveblog it. I'm thinking that the simultaneous translation during the ceremony will be cause for some amusement.